TigerBelly - Episode 89: Eric Stonestreet & the Six Point Five

Episode Date: May 3, 2017

Eric and Bobby are the commercial kings of the past but only one man makes it to Parks BBQ's Wall of Fame. We talk Michael Bay, shallow caves, and how to be the engine, not the caboose.See Pr...ivacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey Prime members, you can listen to Tiger Belly add free on Amazon music download the app today You are Five you ready four three two one Everyone clap your hands clap them like you just don't care Everyone clap your hands Don't care. Don't even fucking know the fucking lyrics. I told you to wear a thing. You're fucking you're right. You're right Anyway, welcome to Tiger Belly. My name is captain Bob Lee and And we have Kalyla George is here Gilbert's here and let me tell you something right now
Starting point is 00:01:01 I was afraid to ask this next guy to do the podcast because he's gone into a different threshold of existence and He used to be with the with me No, we're just you know me comedy compadres You know and um, he's moved on to a different level and I'm so happy that he's here His name is Eric Stonestreet Eric Stonestreet everybody from the modern family. Yes. Yes We're just gonna do the Asian accent You taught me I know I taught him how to do an Asian accent and also I'm only impersonating you impersonating
Starting point is 00:01:45 And the reason why I asked I got the balls because you know Eric Texts me once a year twice a year and he sent me this photo It says it's it's a photo of the Hollywood Bowl and it says the Korea Times presents 2017 Korean music festival and then he just put FYI Like for like I'm gonna fucking buy tickets. I don't like the Rolling Stones. Yeah, like you wouldn't just be given tickets Yeah A little kitty backstage pass pass Yeah, yeah, I'm weird. Um, first of all, can I just say this and you know this that I'm an American just like you
Starting point is 00:02:24 Are you a little bit because when you came to the house, would you say? This is nice. No, you say that I know well, so that was because you saw the shoes. Yeah, I wanted to be respectful I fucking hate when people make you take off your shoes when you go, right Do you make people do that? No, I would never make you do that. And then when you drove you go, would you say? when you He's being interrogated People have to know our relationship
Starting point is 00:02:56 Eric and I we joke around right and we have a we have an open kind of a comedy relationship where we can say whatever to each other Yeah, correct. And so when I pulled into your parking, right? You said what you say, this is a very expensive car Yeah, yeah, I was just saying I want to make sure it's safe But I didn't have to say that I knew what I was I know I know and then um, I'd like to talk about The beginning yeah of you and I I'll be interested to see what if your story matches my story. I think that I met you At the commercial audition for Pepsi one for Pepsi for Michael Bay the one he directed Did you both book it?
Starting point is 00:03:38 well So whatever was him and I were like remember downtown in that lobby LA Center Studios, right? And then we were looking at each other. Do we say I don't think anyone said hey, I'm Bobby and I'm Eric I think we just Were friendly to each other. Yeah, but we knew that there was one part Yeah, and then they were and you were going for the same part. So you were the last two, right? Yeah, they were like they had released one guy who I always Felt like I always felt bad for the guy that was like, thank you so much. Yeah, cuz I was that guy plenty too. Yeah
Starting point is 00:04:10 Yeah, I know you were that guy Yes Yeah You son of a fucking bitch you fuck you Okay, so Fuck you. Yeah, and so we looked at each other He we I did so he would go in and so now Michael Bay sitting there with like four or five guys and they look cool Yeah, they're well there. Yeah, they are cool. They are cool, right? They're sitting there. They're legs
Starting point is 00:04:40 You know how they they cross their legs and sit like this. Yeah, their hair is perfect Yeah, her hair is perfect and I swore to fucking got all I heard was crush Like laughter. Oh, and then when you know, you know, you go this guy He's probably the best he is. I'm not gonna get it, but I went in there. I did okay. Yeah I heard laughter when you went in too. Yeah. Yeah, and then they would bring Eric back in right and back in four And then you would hear more laughter Yeah, and then they would bring him back in and so it was like a little kind of a laugh off It was brutal. It was brutal. Yeah, and then they brought us in together. Well, don't you remember?
Starting point is 00:05:13 We were both sitting there. They were both sitting out in the lobby or whatever. Yeah And at that moment in time, we probably were talking it's like dude, this is weird like whoever gets it whatever Yeah, and then they pop their head out and they're like, we'd like you to both come in right Oh, which is never happens. And didn't they just kind of hire us right there? They did. Yeah. Yeah, you're both gonna be the guy Yeah, you're both are gonna be the guy, but then it became when we actually did the job go on It was a disaster for me Why for you? Deep water. I was in deep water Number one. It was a Super Bowl commercial. Yeah. Yeah, it was so it's big
Starting point is 00:05:49 Yeah, it was a spoof on Goldilocks and the three bears, right and Kim control was Goldilocks and Bobby and I were the towel boys towel boys, right? And now you have to understand this and Eric's worked with me a couple of times on different things, right? It's a I'm a desert. I was young and I don't know why you're Past tense last Super Bowl. Yeah, I'm a disaster keep it current I mean cuz and I tell you love the panic that I get yeah, I know all those things, right? Don't they're real. This is a reoccurring nightmare. They're not they're not Yeah, they're yeah, it is still is I still talk about it. I do too. Yeah
Starting point is 00:06:33 So it's like I when I get big jobs and a run big people I panic and I go through the you know people that are fans of the podcast Know how weird I am and that all is real. Yeah, it is real So but the nice side of me has always told you that it's misplaced because you are not in those places by accident You are that's that. Oh, thank you That's really you need to fall back on that every once in a while except when I'm giving you shit Yes, and that's really nice that you would say that I'm about to cry that you said something like that But anyway, let's move on from that. Let's not go. Yeah, that's not get too fucking comfortable So do you remember though how difficult it was for me too because we're shooting the commercial and
Starting point is 00:07:16 Michael would come over and say all right It's the light thing gonna go off this time and then the camera's gonna be on the track Right, and it's gonna do this and then we're gonna do that. All right, and then he would look at me and be like All right, you're hilarious. Just keep doing what you're doing you Bobby Stay in the fucking light if I can't see your face. You're not gonna be on camera. Do you understand that? It's in just would berate Bobby. Yeah, and then compliment me It was the best thing and then it wasn't a bit no no no at one point he grabbed my face He grabbed my he went from behind the camera Michael Bay
Starting point is 00:07:51 Grab my face and go the light The light right? I mean I kept looking at Eric. Oh, this is the worst But to be fair like why couldn't you just? In the light Not getting your face in the light because I'd never really I mean that was like what my third or fourth job Yeah, but oh my god So we had to do this a little comp a funny comedy thing where I would peek around the corner And then Bobby would peek underneath me or I would peek down and then Bobby would peek around
Starting point is 00:08:18 You know, yeah, you know this kind of yeah, and you could know you would never get your face in the light And then do you remember what else happened when we were shooting that commercial? No, not about that about oh, yeah I know Michael Clark Duncan showed up. Yeah, so we're having lunch right. There's lunch. Yeah, and now at this point I'm I just I mean I'm not out really saying it, but I'm sure he's new. I was just this is the worst. I hate it You know, and I'd like to quit whatever right and then we're having lunch and then this out of nowhere a gigantic gorilla gorilla We can sell it was for because he was in Planet of the Apes he came in in full
Starting point is 00:09:01 My god, he would say this We sort of second city this one from Wrigleyville. Oh nice. Yeah, I live there for two years Yeah, yeah, was impressed. So he came in gorilla suit when he said that when you said that Wrigley field He wasn't that impressed man. I but I get well. It's like hell hole. It's like next to I Get what he's from. Okay. Yeah anyway Way to pump the brakes Anyway
Starting point is 00:09:31 So yeah, he came in and I remember Michael like touching his and he made him like do a cry and he's like Beating his chest and we're like, yeah, yeah, yellow eyes. Yeah fangs. It was amazing Anyway, that commercial didn't run that much and then but here's what do you remember this one at the end of the commercial Oh, you and I are standing next to each other. Mm-hmm Kim Cattrell walks up to you Do you remember this and says you're gonna be a very big star? She said that to me? Yes And what did she say to you? She looked at me said nothing and walked away and she was right She was right A lot of things have happened with me though, you're in here with me. I know you and that's I know
Starting point is 00:10:23 So you guys have this picture where you're dressed as mimes. Where's that from? Oh, that's where you're sitting on my lap Yeah, maybe in commercial. That was another IBM. No, he was he was by bank robbers Yeah, you guys were like a duo for a while You guys know just ran. I think in the late 90s. Yeah, we ran. There was like 10 guys That booked every commercial. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I mean, I would book. I mean, I literally booked 20 in a year Joe Pitka commercial did you do? How many like forever? Yeah from your whole career I guess if you don't know Joe Pitka is the he's like the Steven Spielberg of commercial director
Starting point is 00:11:07 Yeah, he's he's you when you book a Joe Pitka job You're gonna go through hell. I mean at least I did But you're gonna make a shitload of money Yeah, and he's he likes finding people that he likes and can trust and yeah works with him And he just keeps casting him and I was lucky enough. I think in 2000 maybe 2000 to book my first one with him, which was an American Express commercial and they think between then in 2007 I did like 60
Starting point is 00:11:36 I remember what though you were in Italy shooting one with them. Yeah of a country, right? Yeah, it was shooting a commercial for IBM in front of the Leaning Tower of Pisa and the Leaning Tower of Pisa Tumbled crash to the ground and the commercial ran exactly two times on 99 and 910 of 2001 What happened at 11? Bobby. Oh I'll leave
Starting point is 00:12:01 Disasters happen. Yeah, so that that commercial never really really did much. Yeah, but in retrospect it was a fuck Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Yeah, I got to go to Italy. Yeah, and you I remember one night You said you had to get to pick up I mean It was he was nice to you right very nice Yeah, but to me it was nice to you too. He kept hiring you that means he likes you I know but the things he would say though. Well You don't bring those on At all
Starting point is 00:12:33 What you just said right now it could have been a spiritual awakening just now really because in many ways I like to blame people. Mm-hmm, but I have to look at my behavior. You do and And I have to I have to look at the things that I say and do and do and things I invite and you know what? That's too shady you my friend. You could be right about that, but he did say some crazy shit. Yeah, like what? Qingchong I'm not even really Qingchong get on your mark. Yeah. Yeah, but I've heard him say he doesn't discriminate He doesn't yeah, no He says crazy things about a lot of things. Yeah, and he's the best in the business and I made a lot of money and they
Starting point is 00:13:14 Thank you so much. Mr. Pick up. Yeah, he's so much. He is really literally One of the people responsible for me to be able to be in the position to even get a job like modern family because when I would go into auditions because of working for him consistently I was you know secure like I felt secure and I felt like I had confidence because I had a Few ducats in the bank and I didn't have to go in there with desperation pouring out of my pores. Yeah. Yeah, you're right I mean he was like I did one job for him an IBM job. I Mean $300,000 for one job and this is in 1999 No, I didn't make that much on one which one was that it was the juggernaut with the space suit one
Starting point is 00:14:01 Oh, dude, that was a huge huge campaign. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, so I just I'm just grateful for yeah Yeah, yeah for all that and even when I was on mad I did the bank why rubber on with you remember Yeah at the shaved head. Yeah, that was great. That was great. That's when that's when we did that. I forgot about that one Yeah, that's with me. That's the one you're talking about where you're sitting on my lap or something. Yeah Yeah, we are I'm wearing a little pork pie hat. Yeah. Yeah, and then you did a couple You did like a couple of mad sketches, right? Maybe one one you with you and Ike with me and Ike Baron hold because I knew like from Chicago. Yeah, I knew you from here And then you know what I also remember is we we go to like Steve and I would go to that Brazilian
Starting point is 00:14:39 Oh my god in Burbank. Yeah, yeah, which one is it that's yours Korea? Yeah, it's a trust Korea it called meat Can't remember what it's called. It's over in the media center like downtown Burbank But yeah, we went to there and remember you just do the green light right and you ate so much Do I recall you being mad at me because I did an interview or something where I said that I Could call Eric Stone Street to get me Like good restaurants. No, I would never be meant. Why would I ever be I think you gave me shit? Was it you or no somebody not me? Yeah, when did you do an interview?
Starting point is 00:15:21 Are you saying that enough? Have you done interviews? Like who interviewed you? It was probably like Kri-Am Kri-Am No, but what are you talking about? I don't really know. I did like I did like a some sort of like Like interview and I said that what do you get because I remember I talked to you. I said I about tinder I taught him about tinder. Oh, and then I said I heard about this. We have to delve into that In a sec remember I taught you about tinder. Yeah, you did and you got off of didn't you not I did get off of it
Starting point is 00:15:50 After a while is the same all same It's like a game Yeah, it is but not I mean meeting people because I very rarely meet people off the dating apps But just swiping people's pictures. It just feels like I'm playing some sort of Game or something and you become desensitized and it's it's how long we want it seven years No, yeah, you know a year or whatever. Yeah, but did you go on on dates on it? Yeah. Yeah, of course But it was cool for it was cool for a while. Yeah. Oh, yeah, you you definitely got me going on that
Starting point is 00:16:24 Yeah, because I've never heard that way. Did you really? Yeah, I didn't see you on there All right, baby Remember me? I missed my chance there. We'd be doing this podcast in a really big room 70 commercials More IBM than him This guy used to kill it like he used to use to pass. I know he's killing it now But like even but I mean you have to imagine A guy who you know, you don't really know his name
Starting point is 00:16:54 But you just know when he walks into a commercial, you know, auditioning room you go. Oh fuck that guy I don't feel that people thought that about me. I think they do I think they do because I've heard other people say yes Don't shoot used to come in and used to get it and then you know, man I hope I was nice. There were guys that didn't get would go in and never got any. Yeah So imagine going in to 50 of them and then seeing you at half of them and then you're on half of those And you know, I mean in his head. He's like that guy's a beast But there were people like that when I moved out here that I would see in every commercial
Starting point is 00:17:30 Yeah, I would walk in it took a while for me to get to be considered that guy God, you you're really humble. Are you not? I am. I think so you are. Yeah What were you doing immediately before you got cast on modern family? Um commercials like mostly just commercials. I had done a few guest stars leading up in that year Uh on tv shows where I'd killed killed a few people Bobby knows my dark side. Yeah, but he also was on Movies like almost famously was in that. Yeah, that's a small part of that. Yeah, but do you already know? Yeah
Starting point is 00:18:01 I mean you have to imagine when I was watching that movie back in the day. I was like, oh, there's an actress, yeah Um But I was in one of my down, you know, like little thunks as an actor right before modern family You know how we go through those things where you're just like, well, what do I do now? And I was literally in one of those in a friend of mine who I met through Joe Pitca Marshall bell. I don't know if you ever work with Marshall bell. He's a character actor talks like this. He's from, oklahoma Licks his teeth a lot And I called him and I was like, dude, I'm having a he's like, what else are you gonna do man? You got traction
Starting point is 00:18:33 You're in the business. You got to stay Whoa He talked me he like talked me down off the good ledge. He's like, what else can you do? I was like, well, Jesus, I guess when you put it that way. Yeah, so Uh, and then the audition for modern family happened like within that form a four month window of that period And I read that that whole audition process was a long one for you where they kind of didn't know like who they wanted to cast Is that your girlfriends so much smarter than you? She does research. She sounds good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Now fucking answer it, man. Fuck it.
Starting point is 00:19:12 Fucking Tinder Could have been you, baby Still might. Still might. We'll talk about it after. Hey, now I'm sweating. Yeah, okay. We'll take the fucking stocking cap off. Oh, yeah, you're right. And all that hair So, yeah, it was well because I was one of the last people that they'd cast in the show They had been looking for a while and I did, you know, four auditions for it, which isn't that that Unusual but what made my process a little more unusual was that they I had done two auditions and they had passed
Starting point is 00:19:45 Like sent word that like they liked me, but it wasn't going to go any further Because I knew I knew the casting director and so it was A courtesy call for him calling my manager because you know as actors we'd love to know when we're no longer and So we're not sitting home wondering so he just called and said hey, you know, they really like Derek But it's not it's not going to go any further twice. They did that to me. Yeah. Oh my god So that was what made my process for me a little different And then then you then the third time did you go I'm not going to go back in or well No, then they called out of the blue and said we'll test you so then so I went in once
Starting point is 00:20:19 Passed then 10 days seven days passed and they called back and said come back in dress more appropriately For the character clean shaven because I would roll around. That's another thing. I would do. I loved about you Yeah, I would never like dirty play the yeah play the game of doctor's coat Oh, yeah, like they dress up I used to get when I first moved into town like only Asian ones So I'd go into a lobby and saw people in ninja suits. Yeah and samurai sword and I would dress like this Yeah, I'm not gonna get this I knew it was time for me to start getting thinking about getting out of the commercial business when I went over to an
Starting point is 00:20:56 audition in Santa Monica Yeah, and that called for a guy in a suit and tie and I showed up, you know, just in like a nice shirt and jeans Yeah, I wasn't looking like a slob and the guy was like, oh, what are you here for and I said sears He's like Where's your suit and tie and I said, oh, do they have the set built in there too? I said, did they build the set? Is the set in there? Yeah, they didn't have no imagination. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I was like, uh, I need to back away I'm losing this 12 12 years of this has caught caught it to me. Yeah
Starting point is 00:21:30 But anyway, I was just doing commercials and I remember distinct distinctly shooting the pilot and listening to all my co-stars Uh talking about their careers and the things that they had and that includes the kids on the show and everyone had something that they were either Going to do if the show didn't get picked up or that they had turned down to do the show like Julie Bowen was in second position on another pilot type Arell was in second position on another pilot. Sophia Vigara had a holding deal at ABC Jesse Tyler Ferguson was going to go to Broadway and play a buddy the elf in the musical elf
Starting point is 00:22:03 Whoa, Ariel winter who's a brilliant actress. She had something that she was going to do Rico was like killing it doing his own thing. Yeah, everybody had something going on And I remember I really remember sitting there thinking I have a Lowe's callback Yeah But that was my career that was my career up to that to that point And I think I represented so many actors to that point. I was the guy who I was the least known Uh Adult for sure
Starting point is 00:22:35 Maybe Ariel and Sarah Highland were more recognizable. I mean they'd worked more than I had almost probably and That's um, yeah, but can I just say this the argument is this though I don't you you said all those names. I don't know who they are. You don't watch the show I doesn't matter. Just wait a minute. What? No, I don't I've never seen that. You've never seen modern family. Fuck it He's trying to fuck it. I know it's good. Fuck it You is it too hard for you? As you clip it, I saw one time you did the thing where you reached the baby up and you did a uh a lion king thing That was supposed to be you
Starting point is 00:23:11 Bobby went I saw that passed on him twice No, I saw that uh, you know how you you're I'm like I because I fly coach and I had one of those little tv screens And somebody was next to me seeing that part And them laughing and I go I want to say that's my friend, you know what I mean? But I didn't but I laugh because the way you did was funny and that's all I need to see but what I'm going to say This he has a hard time watching all myself either. I can't see anybody not even yourself, but your friends you can't do it Okay, but just could I just say this? Sure is that? I don't know who they are. That's fine. I know the guy from married with children. He's in it
Starting point is 00:23:45 Ted Bundy's a murderer But I can I and people that were in the comedy business, right? I know who you are and we think that you were we always thought I always thought that you were legit Yeah, and that's what I give a fuck about. Yeah. Well, that's like when like, um You know one time I was at Barnes and Noble and this is before I met you Sweden I was with this girl on a shitty date Yeah, and Chris rock walked up and said what's up doing give me a hug and that's I don't care about
Starting point is 00:24:14 If the variety you mean knows me or whatever. I just care that that dude Who's in the same business as I am respects me or knows who I am I mean, so I'd rather have that Well, I would too. So when you're in that fucking show they're like show like modern family and I know you're saying all those things That's what you're thinking. I have lows and this and that at the end of the day But you still had the back edge of I think the comedy community Well, that's very nice or was it like I say one nice thing about you and then you say something nice to me That was really sweet. No, that's not what I was doing. Okay. Well, I wasn't doing that. Can I thank you for saying something really nice?
Starting point is 00:24:48 It's like two genuine moments. I had Is that a rarity? Uh Because you're weird with compliments. We make a week. Yeah, we've always made fun of each other. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah And we we don't go deep Right with what just making fun of each other. Yeah. No. No. No. Yeah, it's not like you're gone deeper than I have like with what? I'm not gonna say the face as at all. Yeah, you've sent me some pictures that I didn't appreciate Oh, okay. That's it. That's all we have to say anymore about that. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Didn't care for that
Starting point is 00:25:24 And wow, I see a little resentment still. No, not resentment revenge I Will kind of I'll tell you Not right now. I don't want this to turn into you know, well, that's not on him. That's on you for sending him My bad. I'm gonna apologize right now. My bad to lean back George Which is a little bit. Thank you so much. She's getting nervous. Don't be nervous. Everyone back up He sends bobby unsolicited dick pics all the time. Yeah, it's fucking. Oh, that's not what I'm talking about. Okay. Okay But can I say something how you helped me? Oh
Starting point is 00:25:56 I swear to god you did this and I don't know if you remember but I was at an audition Right. Yeah, and you were on the line. That's where you shoot. Right. Yeah, you walked into the lobby Right when I was auditioning and I was telling you I was out and you go you said something to me you said It doesn't have to be perfect They know that you're a human being that you just got the size, you know me and just do the best you can You know me don't worry about you know, I mean it really put me In a different mental state because I was always in a
Starting point is 00:26:26 Is this when I was on the show already? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This is your third year or something second year so After one Emmy, I think Yeah, I think that was just yeah one Emmy. Yes. Yes, and um any way Any fucking way Um, it helped me and I tested for that show But I literally literally like it has I get a script. I go we all get into that mode We all get into that mode that have to to you know, perfect it and what I always would tell people is like
Starting point is 00:27:05 You want to do the almost the opposite of it when you go in and audition because these people that go in and audition and make it perfect You're you're you're kind of setting the standard in the the people watching's mind that they think well, this is as good as it's Going to be this is as good as it can get no room for a pitch perfect Yeah off book off this and man, there's this is the performance Right when you want to give the appearance that you're a performer And this is a loose sketch of how good it can be and man wait till you have some time with it Wait till you have a costume on wait till you have a prop in your belt wait till you're on set
Starting point is 00:27:42 Then it's gonna really come alive But these people that go in that are super worried about being polished You're kind of doing yourself a disservice my trick and commercials and I tell people this all the time and it really I think was an Important thing is I would be so aloof in a commercial audition. I would walk in and I would be like Or do you want me to stand? Yes Where okay stand here and who am I who am I reading with do you want me to read with you or with you? Okay And they'd be like are you ready? I'll be like yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Am I ready? I'm ready and then I would just be like
Starting point is 00:28:15 And just like come to life and take direction and take notes And then it was like a man doing a magic trick a little bit in a sense because I would set the expectations low Yeah, I said in commercial auditions is that the slate you have to pretend that it's silly That you've done it before that, you know, you're grateful to be there But also I you know, I'm a busy guy like to kind of embody those things So I would always make the slate kind of funny. I'm sure you would what would you do? Like they turn I go which way and I'll turn backward, you know You know and they would
Starting point is 00:28:48 I would do this Eric stone street One more time, please Eric stone street could you try without a hesitation? Eric stone street. Okay, that's it. Thank you so much Uh, oh bobby. Yes. Uh, can you please slave please? I'll can you turn around though? Oh You know my anytime I do an asian guy, it's me impersonating you impersonating my dad from your stand-up Yeah, you do sometimes come out to see me. That's really nice. Yeah. Yeah, remember you called me out in the audience at one point
Starting point is 00:29:28 Yeah in the main room. Was it? Yeah, and you didn't like it. I didn't mind it. But that's not my world Like it's I've always kind of regretted never pursuing and trying to be a stand-up. But you could I mean out of anyone You could have done it Well, that's really funny because You still do kind of a live show. I do do a live show like I know that because we have the same agents. Are you still a ca? Yeah, okay I'm still there too barely. Yeah Barely talk to him. Yeah
Starting point is 00:29:57 Yeah, yeah We should do we should do we should do a show. We should do something together. Yeah, but I know that got talked to the pa department and they go yeah, Eric's do in australia doing these question and answer q&a's q&a's how does that work? Uh like this It's like an open format where I'm on stage. I come out and I do a little brief introduction of like who I am and why I'm there and You know you get laughs in this introduction introduction. Yeah big time because yeah, because they don't know what they really bought a ticket for So that's the first thing that I say is like, yeah, I bet you're all wondering. What the fuck did you buy a ticket for?
Starting point is 00:30:34 And that's a big laugh because they don't yeah no And it's a combination of humor and sincerity me giving advice what I I found that people are always asking me for my advice on things so And then asking me what it's like to do what I do. So I've taken that format and just turned it into um Kind of improv improvise stand-up because I get I never know what kind of questions I'm gonna get I do know what some of the questions are so I have built-in answers for those so I've written jokes essentially yeah my own head because my my my experience is improv never stand up. Yeah
Starting point is 00:31:09 and um So do you do an hour? I I've done two hours. Oh God that's amazing. Yeah, I it's exhilarating. I love it and it's a meet and greet afterwards I'll do a meet and greet depending on where the theater is. Yeah, and what the what the deal is But you know the thing of it is is if I didn't want to do it I wouldn't be there and that's sort of the nice thing about the job I have and that's what I tell people it's like if you see me someplace It's because I want to be there. Yeah, I'm here tonight. You don't need the bunny. Yeah, because I'm I like you
Starting point is 00:31:43 And wanted to do this like I don't go places. I don't want to go and I don't do shows that I don't want to do Right, right. No, I mean and it's also gives them like I imagine living in a different country And modern families one of the biggest it comes right and it's like I mean my all my family's from the philippines Yeah, it's huge. Do they dub us there? Do you know? No, they don't it's english. Yeah. Yeah, and it's like he's coming to our town Yeah, I mean, I yeah, it's like it's amazing. I liked I did like six shows last summer this time of year last last year on the east coast And I like playing those like 1,300 seat theaters like those that you I know you
Starting point is 00:32:20 No, I do 250 2,500 or 250 Yeah, can we hear your little voice out the way to the back? Can I just tell you my journey? I know everybody knows your journey. My journey my friend. Keep your pants. All right. All right. Yeah, that's true member uh The spaghetti factory. Oh my birthday party had a birthday party. Everyone has a bobby lee spaghetti factory story. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah, why I used to have yours. Well, you came right? Who was there? Uh, the only person I really remember being there is you your brother and arie. Shafir Shafir. Yeah, yeah, yeah
Starting point is 00:33:04 Yeah, yeah, and uh, because I think he I thought he was funny then Yeah, I think he's so funny now so funny now. Was it before he beat the shit out of me or after? Did you guys ever make up? Yeah. Okay. He called me out of the blue That's nice. Yeah, and if you guys don't know this a lot of people do Arie Shafir beat the shit out of me three weeks in a row to the point where I was bleeding out of my Because he just got tired of your stuff or what? No, no because of natasha legiro. Oh, what happened? I'm gonna just tell you the quick story. Okay Um, when I was on mad do you remember ron peterson canadian guy?
Starting point is 00:33:37 Well, I was at the comedy store one night and he goes, who's that on stage? I go, that's natasha legiro. He goes, she's hot I go, yeah, but she lives with arie shafir Ron peterson goes All right, and then I walked away because I had another show in the main room whenever And then a couple hours later. I was driving him back to the hotel where he was staying at and he goes, I got her number I go, yeah, but he's seeing she's seeing my friend arie. He's like, yeah, but she's gonna go on So she she starts like going to like Plays with him dinners behind arie's back
Starting point is 00:34:11 Right, and then out of nowhere arie calls it. She loved me, dude I go, yeah, but you could you set them up Oh god, right. I go. I didn't set them up. Why would I do that? Because you did it and here's how I know You did it. I go, how if you don't do this for me right now this thing I wanted to ask you to do I know that you set them up. Whoa. What was the thing? I hope you show him your penis Because I know you do that. Yeah, that's free Yeah, that's a korean. Break into something break into his office at mad tv. Yeah
Starting point is 00:34:46 Go into his computer and steal the emails between ron And and that's some attention So I go, I can't break into his fucking office at mad tv But can I just say the visual of you with a little smoke puff? Running in and breaking me. I am a ninja Like you thought about it for just a second. Yeah, I have my the whole thing on. Yeah. Yeah, they're called smoke bombs Okay, that's smoke puffs. All right smoke puffs. Okay. I just didn't want to correct you And um, so I go no, I'm not gonna do that and he goes then you set them up
Starting point is 00:35:23 So that friday I show up at the comedy store And I'm checking in at the front counter And he punches me in the face like for real punches you this is not a comedy fight the comedy joke fight I fall to the ground and he kicks me in the face like 20 times. Oh, shit. Now. I'm bleeding. I'm bleeding. I'm like, you know Almost, you know coma But then as I get up I hear my name being called on stage on stage and I go up on stage And did you talk about it or I only did I only went up for one minute. Yeah, and I go that guy right there You know, I mean, I'm bleeding from the face. He picked the shit out of me. You know, like I called him out
Starting point is 00:36:01 Right, then I get off stage and The manager goes just I mean, he's just emotional I don't do anything I go, all right It's like how cool I am. Yeah a week later. I'm walking down the hallway at the comedy store He fucking lunched me Right and he starts strangling me In the fucking hallway with his little jewith thumbs in my throat
Starting point is 00:36:27 I don't mean that in a racist way. Just a descriptive. Yeah, but I'm just saying that's how I felt at the beginning The back then and he's squeezing and then my neck starts bleeding because he has his nails gouged into my fucking neck Why it's so funny, baby It is funny You're mad bleeding right so then and then I remember I was dating a comic back then And she was doing a show upstairs. Sarah. Did she come to your rescue? No, she didn't But I remember going upstairs and my neck is bleeding and she goes. Why are you crying? And why is your neck bleeding?
Starting point is 00:36:58 Oh my god, you're right. I bet that was a turn on to her I was the beginning of the end. Yeah And then the worst thing happened so then unbeknownst to me This is when mind of mensia was going on. Okay Oh, okay. Ari Shafir had auditioned for my name mensia and gotten the part when carlos mensia was out of town So he had auditioned for the producers. They had hired him
Starting point is 00:37:25 But then when mensia caught back in the town, he already knew that aria attacked me twice And he was looking at like who was performing in on a show and he saw aria on it. Yeah So he called aria shafir And says a dude. Um, you beat up my friend bobby. So you can't do my show So in aria's mind, he thought that I had called. Oh, no, here comes the third Yeah, yeah. This is a real bad sequence of events for you. Yeah. Yeah. I'm so glad I didn't get ever get into stand-up I don't know. I would have beat your ass so many times I don't know
Starting point is 00:38:00 so then I Show up at the comedy store after he gets fired from mind of mensia And I just hear running Right like I parked the car. I closed the door. I hear yeah And then no running because he's in the air doing a superman punch. Yeah. He does a superman patch from behind Pat I fall to the ground, right? I just run straight to the office screaming Right
Starting point is 00:38:27 Oh, so funny, George Yeah, I know I work for this guy And I try I try to call 9-1-1 Right, so I call 9-1-1 to call the police, right? I answer the phone and then nothing. Do you know why? Steve run a zizzy Had pulled the fucking cord out of the fucking wall And he gets on his hands and knees And he goes if you call the cops now
Starting point is 00:38:53 He's gonna be in jail all weekend because it was a friday I go so what the fuck do I do? He goes go home I just went home And then the next thing I know he got banned from the club And then for three or four years after that every time I would have walked by him He would call me a piece of shit And I wanted to say I didn't do anything and but you guys have finally patched this up. I'm so sorry. I asked this
Starting point is 00:39:20 Out of nowhere he calls me And he just goes this is five years later Yeah, yeah, dude. It's all right, and I just wanted to go fuck you right, but he goes I know that you had nothing to do with it You know, I was just emotional. I love you. Were you a little worried like a fist was gonna come out? Fuck! Damn it! Four times! Yeah, and also you're trembling because I I loved him. He was my friend. Yeah, we were at a birthday party together. Yeah at spaghetti factory Looking at a picture of a snicker bar up your brother's ass
Starting point is 00:39:54 Oh Oh my god, we just talked about that. We just talked about that. No one has proof. No one can find out about it. I have it scarred in my brain Would we like to do a lobotomy and check it out? See now that was real because he was there if he could vouch if eric's industry could vouch. Yeah My brother was on he talked about that. Yeah. It was really up his butt then. Yeah about this far Oh Yeah, Laban had done that
Starting point is 00:40:25 See What a random thing to look at that the spaghetti factory. I know By the way, what they should reopen a spaghetti factory now. There's one out. There's one out in the inland empire What's it? Where what's it called? But where it's like in Claremont or something. Yeah, it's off the yeah, it's off the 10 Well, we know what you're doing this round I love the manager's special. What was it? Is that the three flavors? It's two flavors of sauces you can choose
Starting point is 00:40:55 And the two sauces you have to choose is the mushroom sauce and I love the one with the misathro cheese And then what you do is you mix or you meet sauce too and you mix it together and smells dandy as little more You make it sound good and I hate the spaghetti She hates it. She hates benihana too That's it. It's fun though. I come on Hey, I gotta tell you something funny that actually has happened that you don't know about so I have made it Because you're I think you might have been the first person to ever take me to korean barbecue
Starting point is 00:41:24 And I you know love it and I've made it my mission that every time I go to korean barbecue. Yeah, I name I name drop you Yeah, I just work it into the conversation With the waiter every single just as a little fishing expedition just to see if there's any reaction of like Oh bobby lee You know, he's a very famous korean comedian none, right? And no, so The fucking day I went to ginnwa. Is that what it's called? Yeah, ginnwa. It's really good. I I said um
Starting point is 00:42:02 Where do you like to go? I like to the waiter. I'm like, so where do you when you want korean barbecue? Where do you go? Yeah, and he goes out of k-town and I'm like, yeah, but like specifically which ones are good And he rattles a couple off And I said, I've been to soup old jeep before he goes. Oh, yeah, that's really good. It's uh, you know, it's I said, they're not that friendly there to like white guys like me I don't know if they don't speak english or whatever. I said, but my friend um bobby lee Pause took me to the place right next to keo chan right there
Starting point is 00:42:32 With the pig emblem and he goes. Oh, yeah, and he rattles it off. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and uh, he goes. Oh bobby lee Actually, bobby lee was in here one time. He slapped one of our waiters I'm like, yes Finally, my name dropped work. It did work. You slapped a waiter. Yeah, you slapped a waiter at jinnwa not but not in A violent way. Oh, I've never slapped it not in an arish shafir way. Yeah. I know and like, you know, I mean like That kind of a way he had a huge spiritual meltdown because our favorite korean barbecue spot has a wall It's an asian wall of fame and he is not in parks parks barbecue parks barbecue. Oh, where's that? I'm on that one
Starting point is 00:43:12 On the wall, I think you are You're fucking made out. He's not. Yeah, fuck stop bait. You fucking made out parks. Yeah before me. Yeah It's all I dyed my hair black Put on a really nice suit because you know what we did what we had a fan Yeah from this podcast go to parks. You mean the fan. Yeah the one fan the one fan Frame a fucking photo of me. Yes, and then fucking put it on the wall. Is it still up? Yes. Yes amazing And then when I went back there like recently the owner was there Here's the challenge what for your fans? They have a certain time limit. Let's give them
Starting point is 00:43:56 Um, oh six weeks. Okay. Six weeks is good Somebody needs to get a picture of me On parks barbecue. Yeah Yes, and we'll go in together. We'll go in together In six weeks. I have something I have there's a photo of me and Eric on my instagram. Oh, yeah There's one there's one from the past and there's also one a couple years ago Do that photo something recent frame it
Starting point is 00:44:26 And then put it on parks wall And don't say anything Don't say that's a challenge. And if you can do that, what do we give them babe free t-shirt? Possibly a free but they also have an upstairs wall where they put like the the d-list celebs, and I think that's where I'm on that wall now That's where you ended up. That's where we ended up. They moved you. Yeah, they move Like who's bigger than you? Like some baseball player Asians on the wall except you've never seen anyone. Did I ever tell you I met? Um
Starting point is 00:44:56 The dance song guy William William hung sigh sigh sigh Yeah, I saw a photo. He has six photos of him on that wall. I saw a photo without you know what? He's looking at the photo that I've seen with you was baby. Let's back up for a second. I have a little confrontation Little baseball game with ken jung Oh No, don't oh, that's a Korean betrayal invited me one time of the twice I've only I've invited you to I've invited you to my Christmas party three times. You showed up twice
Starting point is 00:45:28 Is that what you're talking about? That's true. I didn't have it last year. You didn't have it last year. No I'm having it next year. Can I get invited this year? Yeah, of course now that I now that I've met Kalula Yeah Lila, let me ask you something. So I'm I am Is it? Yeah, for sure. I don't think so. You think bigger? Maybe I think it's thick Now it has nothing to do with the weight. It's not a weight thing. I just think it's thick Have you seen so you've never seen Eric's penis? No, he's not one of those guys. He's not one of those guys
Starting point is 00:46:00 And you can I don't like seven. I have a very shallow vagina. That's not gonna work. I need smaller. Okay. I'm six I can work with that. I can work with that. You're not seeing anybody? No right now. I mean Not not as a in a girlfriend. I don't have a girlfriend. What happened to that opera singer, didn't you? Susan Boyle? No, you were dating an opera singer, right? No, I was dating a girl that was on broad like a dancer. A singer. A singer. What happened to that guy? Yeah, we broke up. She was doing her thing. I can't imagine What your taste is like now What was his taste before from what you saw? I mean to me he would be like, you know, and he's an average guy probably got girls that were
Starting point is 00:46:43 But now he's I've never been a quantity over quality guy ever in my life. Yeah, I know you're a quality guy So I can't imagine what you were ever was interested in Like hooking up with a girl just because she would hook up with me like right never. You need the insides too Insides are important sometimes Bobby I met my girl here, man on Tinder. Oh my god. I can't I still can't believe it myself Remember when I would start texting you right when I you started posting pictures of her? I'm like, does that girl need help? Like Do I need to call the police? Yeah, like are you holding her against her will?
Starting point is 00:47:18 You don't find me that I mean as I find you charming, but I don't think that I'm attractive Uh, you're not my type if I was gay. No, I mean if I was a gay guy, I wouldn't bone you. Yeah Well, that's rude. Why? Because if I was gay, I would probably go. Yeah, I took this guy's dick Well, that's you and I'm me. I mean How about this if you were gay and I was gay, would you at least invite me to parties and stuff? Like we'd be friends. Yeah. Yeah, but I would do a real big blanket like hey, this is my friend Bobby Oh Right, right, right and you would probably never recommend me to your other gay friends. Yeah, I would guys that were into you know
Starting point is 00:47:55 Fat Asians. I don't think you're fat. Oh, that's nice. Thank you. Yeah. Yeah. Well, at least we'd be friends in that world. Yeah uh I remember one time when I was shopping like with a friend of mine at Nordstrom So I got Matt and I was trying some stuff on this was before modern family or anything And we're trying I was trying some clothes on and I came out And my friend Matt was like dude this the salesman totally thinks we're a couple and I was like, oh really? And he's like, yeah, and so I go back in and I and I try a couple other things off Or try other couple things on and I come out and the salesman is so
Starting point is 00:48:31 Clearly like flirting with Matt like flirting with him. Yeah, and I find myself like getting really like mad about it Because he had told me that he thought we were a couple so then I'm like well if he thinks we're a couple like this is really disrespectful to me And so when we when we finish up and we're walking away He's like dude that guy totally totally was hitting on me and basically asked me to go out I'm like, are you fucking serious? Like I want to go back and confront the guy like we're not gay, but you thought we were and fuck you for trying to steal my guy Right, it was and he didn't find you attractive. Well, he wanted to bone Matt Matt. Yeah Do you find that let me because you do I have seen um a couple of modern families and I know you want Emmys
Starting point is 00:49:17 And people have said to me like, you know that guy I go. Yeah, is he gay? And I go because you're so good on that show as that guy Is that weird out there or no? It was in the beginning a little bit, but do people ask you that all the time? Yeah, I block anybody on it. I love blocking people on social media So anybody that says are you gay in real life? I just block them because I think that's a completely inappropriate Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's like if I was you're the person I'm gonna come out to Right now. Yeah, you know what? Thank you so much for asking me Instagram Fuck off. Yeah, fuck off. Yeah, it's not it's not an okay question
Starting point is 00:49:54 But at the beginning it was weird because you know like I never wanted to seem like I was Ashamed of being gay. So like if I wanted to talk to a girl I couldn't go up to a girl and be like, hey, just so you know, I'm not gay And I think you're really cute like I would never say that because that would imply that I would care if you thought I was Or that there was something wrong with being gay. So yeah, it was a little bit of a, you know, you're right that I am an average you know guy and It was a Deeper hole that I already had to kind of dig myself out of because I'm funny and charming and it takes a minute for
Starting point is 00:50:27 That to wash over a girl. They're not just deciding that I want to bone that guy purely based on his looks You know, so I had a little bit more of a challenge in the beginning, but I overcame it I'm so fucking happy for you. Are we done? No, I just wanted to say that. Oh But I think that I like sort of gay guys. I mean like I like men with you have a little yeah a little bit. Yeah I like fluidity. I I find that attractive. Yeah. I and the point is is I'm I'm confident enough of a man in my masculinity to not care if a girl thinks I'm gay And it's unnecessary
Starting point is 00:51:02 It's a necessary even after a couple of days before I think he knows that I mean Eric looks so angry everyone right now. Have you in high school? Yeah. I was younger. I mean, oh, I think I didn't know that I don't think there's a soul that he doesn't want to tell that story too. I think I didn't know it's freeing to talk about it Do you remember? You know, you want to hear something funny that I've always Laughed at and been embarrassed of at the same time Of an experience you and I had together So one time I went down to San Diego to watch you do comedy at the comedy store down there Oh, yeah, and David tell was like the the the main guy there
Starting point is 00:51:36 That night like he was the whatever you call it the headliner. Yeah, whatnot And I didn't know like again. I'm not in the stand-up world So I didn't know David tell was like a slayer of comedy I just thought he was a comedian and was gonna get up and do a show Yeah, and he was out back and you guys were kind of talking out back and he was smoking a cigarette And he was ready to go in and I went hey, man. I don't have a great show You know just Being nice and he I'll never forget it and it's a great fucking line. He goes. Thanks old timer
Starting point is 00:52:11 Oh my god, it was the fucking best I was like Yeah Not how I meant it, but that was fucking incredible. Yeah Yeah, you know, yeah, because back then they'll be he wasn't that big then But he was you you really respected him. I was already in high school. I mean, I I love I mean, I fucking loved him And I didn't know Him as like what he was, you know A few years later. He had a show ABC and told him to pick up my pilot
Starting point is 00:52:41 Uh, what is it called again spilling up together? What do you play I play I'm Oliver Hudson's best friend in it. Oh adorable How do you do in it? You were always worried about your acting with me. You would always tell me that you I still do I have city admissions. Mm-hmm. I was I just I just go because I do some love too on Netflix. I always go Shut hates me. You know, that was a terrible day. Yeah, but you wouldn't be there if that was true I understand. I know I just I there's something that I bother myself. I have to confront you right and Mike, you know You have to be careful at some point at some point people. I'm sorry. Go ahead. It's just a self-fulfilling prophecy at this point I know I know
Starting point is 00:53:20 So that's all I know and the other danger you really get into Yeah With so many people in our business is you really run the risk of people just thinking you're a narcissist and want attention all the time That's true We talked about this last week. You know who does that says that about me Whitney Cummings. She's probably not wrong. She's like you're a narcissist. I'm fucking tired of you saying shit like that Yeah, you just want constant But I've known you long enough to know that it is a real it's it's it's somewhat based in reality
Starting point is 00:53:50 And a lot of fear and a lot of like traumatic auditions that you Just listen what? I swore to fucking god. I know that I'm getting better You mean because I I know but just listen to one of them I know that in this pilot that I do well really. Yeah, I know that yeah because because you're doing little you're doing less No, I'm just like more. I'm listening and I'm doing more of that's what I mean. Yeah. Yeah, you're doing less Yeah, and I'm being in the scene and they really love what I'm doing and I know that I'm doing a good job Who directed this?
Starting point is 00:54:24 Um, my friend Dean I didn't test for it. You just got it. Yeah, see Yeah, so many actors and people and performers that are listening to this podcast and you come, you know, not complaining but you expressing your Worry and your fear of not being good. You can't couple that with I didn't Audition or test for it. Those two things don't jive because that's when people that have real struggles in our business check I know all right. I get it. Yeah All right, I would have changed
Starting point is 00:54:55 No, you're not I am Change clothes We're at out over 50. Okay, good. Well, now this is what happens now Is that mean the show's over? No, we go to one last thing. We have an email Ask us a question. But hold on just a minute. How long could you good do this with me? Like how you guys could probably go on for hours for both of you The longest we ever went was probably an hour 20 minutes with who? Maybe jordan peel jordan peel. Wow
Starting point is 00:55:23 What I mean someone wants to break the record. What do you mean? I'm just saying here's why I do it that way though And I know the people listening right now go. How come you always say, um, are we well? What time we're at because we want to hear two hours I I always believe less is more like therapy session Yes, and I believe that when I do anything I try to compact the thing With as much entertainment
Starting point is 00:55:50 Within a small amount of space. Yeah, but how do you know an hour and 20 with me isn't gonna be But you know, you don't seem exhausted in this episode this your your energy smash you have a frenetic energy you're calm So it it can go on for a while and you have two people with He can be frenetic too Right, I give what I get Oh So you're get you're good right now because I'm giving good No, I'm saying that I am able to match my scene partner like if I can
Starting point is 00:56:19 You know decide what what wow the person needs. Wow So you're you're at a high level right now. No, no, I'm I'm I'm right here in the middle because right it's your show So it's my show would be different You ever gonna do a podcast? No It's for us four people No, it's not that's not why I wouldn't know what he meant, baby. No, no, but I'm that's what I meant. Yeah That's what I yeah, no, I wouldn't I wouldn't do it because
Starting point is 00:56:52 Why I never did stand like stand up in that I Don't know that I have the the energy and passion to be good at hosting a weekly podcast and I don't want to just Start saying I'm gonna do a podcast now because I'm on a show I respect people but Eric. Well, I swear to fucking God I know that you could do it do what? A podcast or stand up because you have the kind that kind of point of view You know what add information people are always surprised by how angry I am in real life. That's the one thing
Starting point is 00:57:26 I'm I'm constantly competing against my character. Yeah, because my character is really fun and nice and I'm I'm I'm nice, but I have a more of an angry point of view in life and it really yeah, you're edgier I was telling them like he's a little edgy he can you know, but I don't think that I've been very nice No, you're great tonight. I've been very nice You you did this, you know me and this is the death of very nice I want to see the raid Have you been in a fist fight before yeah, yeah, oh shit. Yeah, all right. I want to see the angry side You don't have to be a little bit. He baby
Starting point is 00:58:04 You don't want to unleash it. I love angry people. They're my favorite. What do you want? Oh, dude, I don't want anything sir. I'm fine Uh, no when you were telling that story like I would have had a real conflict in that moment I because I'm thinking two things. Where was everybody else when Ari Shafir was hitting you? Because had I been with you that night, I would have gone fucking red light like I would have yeah Yeah, that's always my question. But here's so Natasha came to the store four months after that Are you friends with her still? Yeah. Yeah, and Ari took a fucking glass of water with ice in it
Starting point is 00:58:41 I threw it at her threw it in her face and the shards of fucking ice one on her face Oh my god And then dove david off and brian callan were there and they got up and they fucking put you know what I mean start put It was like, you know, but they weren't there when I got beat up I had steve run a zizzy. You know what I mean? I'm plugging the phone Who's friends with both? So he's like, I don't know what to do. I don't know who that person is He was in the league Okay, yeah
Starting point is 00:59:06 I'm glad I'm so glad you said that too Well, I might if I saw him. I don't need the question. What's the question? I'd hope for advice with barbie kalilah at seven inches of stone Six and three course for kalilah for kalilah purposes I am a nine-year-old girl in canada and I have recently been diagnosed with ass burgers It has been extremely hard to wrap my head around it and accept I've always felt different But now I feel like I have a huge label across my head saying autistic
Starting point is 00:59:35 Having ass burgers helps me realize why I've never been good at making connections to other people That being said, I have never had any romantic connections Just from the lack of social skills and extreme social anxiety My question is how should I go about getting out there in the dating world? I feel so behind of all my peers in this aspect and other aspects in life And if when do I start dating how and when do I go about the subject of my diagnosis? My name is Anna How old?
Starting point is 01:00:01 She is 19 years old Oh, what's ass burgers? I wasn't aware that ass burgers was still a diagnosis actually. I thought it was just, uh, autism Oh, she's a huge spectrum Is that an extreme spectrum? Yeah, it can go from anything from low function very functional, which are like you A little bit. Yeah Are people who are absolutely no communication skills at all. So it's a very wide range
Starting point is 01:00:30 Of course, and she's probably very bright, you know The other the other side of the spectrum is obviously the savants who are I think the answer to anybody that's like looking for some sort of romance These days is online dating. I just I think that really is there's no stigma to that anymore and You know put your you just got to put yourself out there You have to make the decision to get yourself out there and that is the easiest way to get yourself out there Yeah, and I don't think that you should lead with that insecurity. There it is. You have it you own it and you know Doesn't define you. Yeah, it doesn't and it's it's it's not a hindrance either. It can be also if she if I'm a kalayla and She goes I have ass burgers. I go. What is it and she'll tell me I don't think that it would make me feel weird
Starting point is 01:01:15 I mean, I have I sometimes I do think I fall under the spectrum I have a lot of like eye tics and I I blink anxiously a lot. I have severe I have weird things about me and tics that I mean the shit that I do I have tics too, baby Okay, I gotta get going That's a good podcast Just a check. Yeah, we have problems. Okay. What's the other question? Oh, okay. Uh, so that's what you do, Anna I like questions more
Starting point is 01:01:47 Questions are good. Uh, so I'm 17 years old and I have herpes. I don't know how to deal with it Okay, I'm gonna finish that one. I like that one. I like that one I don't know how to deal with it any advice on how to communicate with people that I might be with in the future What is herpes? Okay, it's a virus that lives either. I know what it is. I'm pretty sure you're familiar Yeah, please don't say that because then that she has it. Yeah I have a lot. You know what I always say to girls
Starting point is 01:02:13 Can you get more herpes? Yeah Well, that's good. Yeah Can you? I mean, you can have hsv one, which is like not the very Obvious or painful reoccurring ones throughout your whole life. That's like the ones in your mouth Which you can also get down there. They're the out the the outbreaks are not as like intense But you know, they have super aids, but then they have hsv too, which really you've heard of super super aids I've never heard of that. Yeah, it's a good drink. Is that real? Yeah super aids. I think I heard it. Well hiv
Starting point is 01:02:46 I did I think I heard it. Yeah. Yeah Jesus christ, but um herpes You know who doesn't have surprise? Eight out of ten people by the time they're a certain age probably have the virus Inside of them whether or not it chooses to You know show itself So, yeah, so that's the statistic What's your name? Harmony
Starting point is 01:03:14 Are you a herpy harmony? Yes Are you Latino? Yeah You know on the herpy thing, I mean Transparency is always 100% the best policy in anything you'll ever come along within your life the conversation um Of admittance will be much less difficult than the conversation of Uh
Starting point is 01:03:47 What's the word guilt? Yes, you know when you when something's found out I mean you just got to start with it and it's it's super common like it's Very common and you's protected. You know, you're gonna protect yourself. You're 17 Don't know that you should even be doing it yet. Anyway Living an honest live star is always the like I know a lot of comics that fuck around Really they fuck around behind their wives back or whatever and I I I do say I go dude. It's kind of come back
Starting point is 01:04:16 Catch up Yeah, I don't know why you live like that and you're in a lot of these guys are doing well I always say you want to be the train Excuse me. I always say you want to pull a train. God damn it. I didn't I always say you want to be the engine on the train and not the caboose You want to be driving the situation and not being drug along in the wake of it? Yeah Yeah, so that's a good note to end on her piece. Her piece is a good note. Yeah Eric you want to you know, you don't have to plug anything. You have a movie coming out or
Starting point is 01:04:48 I have a couple tv shows. Have you seen the toy box the show that I'm doing on abc? When does this air? When's this gonna be on tomorrow night? Oh, so the toy box is on friday nights on abc That's and that's an example of how I've recently had to realize that Uh, I'm competing against my own character that I play on tv because I'm hosting the show as myself And the reason I'm hosting the show the reason I even said yes to doing it was because it was an opportunity for me to Sort of be my dry, you know sense of humor with people but people watch the show and it'll be like Uh, I like Eric Sosary as an actor, but not as a host and it's because they don't know my personality Yeah, but you're so fucking funny as a person. I don't really rarely
Starting point is 01:05:28 I know that you're killing it on that channel, but I only know you as a naturally Intrinsically funny guy. That's legit. That's a honestly a big big compliment from for me from you I really do mean that yeah, because I've always felt like there's like I went to a funnier die party after modern family was on And I did feel like because I'm on in like a network television show and I'm on that and it's you know, like It gets good ratings and wins awards that somehow I'm not in the cool comedy club We talk about this all the time The alternative comment. I'm gonna tell you something right now. Yeah, and I promise you this We all
Starting point is 01:06:14 Want to be where you're at. I told her when I booked this pilot I just said we might get invited to the party Because I've been to the party Right, I think it's the club right right you're in the club and let me tell you something right now. There is a difference You're at a level that's completely different untouchable untouchable But I did feel like I felt like the senior in like it I was made to I and it was again on me because Most people in the your world don't know me as Stand up because I wasn't or as an improviser because you know, how many people saw me improvise for 12 years, you know
Starting point is 01:06:52 So I I felt like That the comedy people don't look at me as a comedy guy They just look at me as a guy that got lucky and is now on a network All right, like let me ask you this Jordan Peele. Do you know him? Yeah, did you know him before you did modern family? Of course. Yeah, he's legitimate. Yeah 100 keegan. Yes, you knew him hilarious Yeah, I mean there's a list of people that are Killing it right now that already know That what you can do and who you were and you didn't need modern family
Starting point is 01:07:24 To get have them have that opinion of you. Yeah, right? So shut the fuck up. Well, no, but you know what I mean about the I get it comedy club. I know and I I've always you know, I've always hated them. Let me say this I've been doing stand-up for 20 years. I've never been in the Montreal comedy festival Really? Yeah, and it's like at some point you don't have to go I'm not But it's fine. Yeah, but it's fucking fine. It's fine. But you're you're so you're an improviser So let me tell you the main the main thing real quick and then I'll let you guys go. Sorry. I'm talking now No, so here's something that I've noticed about comedy is it used to be when I was in Chicago and starting off there at the
Starting point is 01:08:03 Improv olympic and I would talk to guys that were had been improvising for a long time You would go out under the street and the climate at I.O. Is that that's just bits galore And you just you're standing outside smoking a cigarette drinking water doing whatever it is and it's bit bit bit bit And everyone says yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes, and you just do the bit and you have no idea What's going to come from that bit usually nothing sometimes something Now what I feel like is is you'll be around like let's say a couple I.O. Guys like guys like me and perform on beer shark mice And those those guys that will just jump in and do bits You'll be around doing bits and then add a little of the cool guy comedy club in and the cool guy
Starting point is 01:08:43 Comedy is sitting back and thinking like well, I'm going to judge the bit first And I'm going to decide whether I think the bits funny Yeah, and then I'm going to jump into the bit. Yeah, and I'm going to kill the bit That's what it that's what it feels like Where the whole spirit of improv and what the beauty of I.O. Is is Is bits just are that they're bits and you say yes to them. Yes with no judgment. Yeah That's what I feel like To me the difference is is is there's judgment where there didn't used to be
Starting point is 01:09:18 Yeah, but also those people that judge the horse they they can't pay right So uh Why that's how you end the podcast Hey, have you ever been over to salute like baby? Oh That's a prime real estate. There's no farts going on over there. They have a poquito moss there. I like they sure do We can put a poquito moss in my bag You would never betray me in that way. I would never. I know you willian
Starting point is 01:09:46 So baby and no norwood vagina of a chalala. Oh my god. I like that. She said, uh Maybe you've said this before on the podcast that you have a shallow vagina Very shallow vagina, which is good for you. This relationship works really well. It's so good real good Sometimes I hit the half for the ball. Yeah all the way halfway. No, I don't hit the wall. I go halfway though Yeah, yeah Anyway, uh, thank you, Eric for coming by We'll be right back guys with cleaning house and we're back eric stone street. What a guy. I like him. I like him a lot I can't believe how long they've known each other. Yeah
Starting point is 01:10:30 It's like since the late 90s. I think she's so many commercials. Hell, yeah Bobby used to tell me he's like he's the absolute king of commercials No, I feel like his luck too and just how funny he is for sure books all the time. Yeah, it made sense That's really good. Um advice that he gave about like going into like commercial auditions You just got to not give a fuck and then they give a fuck about you. Yeah Yeah, because I think that um, you do sense that like that sense of desperation is really off-putting If I was a casting director and I somebody just hits it perfectly and they're like, it's really great to meet you I'd like me. I get the fuck out of here. I can't do that. I need someone with a little bit of uh
Starting point is 01:11:07 Like rough around the edges where I can see. Hmm. Okay. He wasn't perfect, but I can see it going there That was like definitely me in Chicago because I didn't know and I was coming with big smell Hey, Gilbert like the fucking fake boys. Yeah. Yeah, and I realized like no callbacks and as soon as I started being like Hey, what's up guys? Just chill. Yeah, it's like, oh normal person Here's a callback for being a just a fucking normal person. You know, that's why steve lee He's because that's him has booked so many commercials It's because steve lee genuinely doesn't care And he just goes in and he's like, I don't want to fucking be here, but I'm gonna do it
Starting point is 01:11:41 And he always gets a callback that makes sense I've thought about going into auditions just for that just for that reason, but then I'm scared. I'd get a callback It's just me for the experience of like not giving a fuck. Yeah, and then as soon as I got a callback for something big I'd be like, oh, oh, shit. Oh, I'm Because after a while, let's say you get a callback. It's hard not to care at that point Then you're like, okay, I got it. I want to do better. That's what I'm trying to fix now It's the callback because the first one like I'm probably not gonna get it Get the callback then that's when the nerves kick in then you're trying too hard. Yeah, that's good advice. Yeah
Starting point is 01:12:11 Um, so hey guys, um, I want to take a moment to thank everybody that came out to our live show Oh, yeah, um last thursday. It was an absolute blast. Um I I got to meet most of you I think and um, it was everybody was just super cool super nice super impressive And I want to say that I love you guys everybody that I did meet And um, it was a nice night. Yeah, thank you for that super super nice And um for those who didn't make it to this show, don't worry. We'll have um several more in the future
Starting point is 01:12:46 And they'll be bigger and better. Get ready for a Europe tour And thank you to everybody who helped out. Uh, you know who you are. So I appreciate you. That's right I also want to take a moment to Uh, give a shout out to our two great interns johnny And and gustavo who put in a lot of work for that night And to anabelle and to johnna and george and well bobby just re-entered the room and omar was just there Yeah Yeah, omar and rustle were there in case in case I needed extra help and so guys, uh
Starting point is 01:13:19 We the black shirts are sold out on our website. We only have a handful of the white shirts left So if you had been keen on grabbing the slept king shirt do it now because we are running low Gustavo job bobby just decided to jump back on the mic. It's weird having you there I think we should have this new setup. We use it there johnny gustavo Oh, that'd be fun with someone. Who are they? Yeah, those are interns You know, bobby any thoughts on the live show? Yeah, the what the live show what happened? You were there the live show bobby all our fans like last thursday. That was a wonderful times
Starting point is 01:13:55 It was a really good times. You know, I mean, I don't know. Um, I shouldn't have got naked. That was weird, but um You live in your learn You live in your learn. Um, let's do some ads. Yeah Uh, so yeah guys, make sure you follow us on uh, instagram at tiger belly God, when I eat I love to eat On twitter at the tiger belly and email us any questions at the tiger belly at blue apron gmail.com. So, yeah Whenever I shoes I go to shoes She's not doing ads right now, babe. We already did them. We already did them 15% off frame bridge
Starting point is 01:14:31 Go to frame bridge dot com and remember the promo code is belly. All right. We'll see you guys later. Bye Bye Hang on. We're not done. Oh, sorry Look, I need to plug bobby's dates. Oh, yeah, go ahead. Um, okay. Hang on. Let me pull up my list before I um I forget I'm so irresponsible. Come on. Kalei. You're better than this Okay, guys, if you want to go see bobby do stand up, he will be at hilarities in cleveland june 1st to the 3rd parlor live in seattle or in belview june 8th through the 10th Comedy zone in charlotte. That's north carolina, right?
Starting point is 01:15:05 june 22nd to the 24th Tempe, arizona june 20 to the 22nd and salt lake city july 28 through 29th I um for I haven't updated his site yet Um, but I will so for more dates go to bobbylee live dot com. I'm gonna be in morocco doing um comedy club in august All right, that's our show guys. All right guys. See you next week Okay
Starting point is 01:16:00 Hey prime members you can listen to tiger barely ad-free on amazon music Download the amazon music app today or you can listen ad-free with wondery plus in apple podcast Before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondery.com slash survey

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