TigerBelly - Haley Joel Osment & The Bumping Nuggets
Episode Date: September 4, 2024Actor Haley Joel Osment (The Sixth Sense, Blink Twice) makes his first appearance! We chat Jimmy Au's, wolf people, screamers, Dr. Moreau, OG incels, bobo Brando, and celebrities at Quiznos. New pla...yers can play just FIVE BUCKS and get FIFTY INSTANTLY in Casino Credits! Download the DraftKings Casino app and sign up with code TIGERBELLY. Then press play on your favorite games to join the fun! The crown is yours. Earn points by paying rent right now when you go to www.joinbilt.com/belly.That’s www.joinbilt.com/belly. Make sure to use our URL so they know we sent you: www.joinbilt.com/belly, to start earning points with your rent payments today.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
You You pot a lot or no?
More, I mean a lot more now.
It's funny, like when I started out it was all, you know, three minute TV interviews
of the junket and now this is the majority of the time.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh wow, things which I like better.
You do?
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, it is interesting that this is now the new way, which is fun.
Yeah.
It's also, there's not like,
because one of the, something that you ever done like morning news?
Oh yeah. Yeah. Some of those still happen. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Hard getting up early and, uh,
Oh, so you've gone to cities and gone up early?
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
No, for the 6 a.m.
Like that.
Yeah.
Or the, do you guys still do this?
Um, well they'll go, okay, tomorrow's media day
and you have to do, so you have to wake up
at five in the morning and then you have to either call,
you know, I mean radio stations.
Yeah, like 25 different radio things across the country.
Nightmare.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's a tough one.
Sometimes the connection's weird or like, yeah, yeah.
It's hard to hear everybody.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's a nightmare.
I mean, you know, I've done it maybe once or
twice in my life, but I just remember just sitting there just going, counting, like counting, like,
okay, that's four. Yeah, it's a nightmare. And you start to feel a little crazy after. Yeah. But
when you're on tour though, don't they try and get you to, you know, on top of doing a late night
show, get up early in the morning to do the local radius.
But now because of the pods now,
I don't have to, they sell out immediately.
Yeah.
Which is amazing.
Yeah.
Thank God, thank God, and I bless, thank God.
Thank the Lord because it's like, you know.
I remember those days.
15 year time period where every Friday morning,
they would pick me up at five in the morning
at the fucking hotel and I go, how many?
And they'll go, ah, we got six, buddy.
But there's a break between, okay.
And then it's like, one time I went into one
and they were like, I was sitting in their lobby
and some kid comes up to me
and goes, well, the host wants to say,
ask you, just tell him what to ask you
because so you can do one of your jokes.
And I go, yeah, I just don't do it that way.
I don't burn material on air.
And then the person goes,
well, okay, well, have a nice morning then.
And I just left.
Like they wouldn't even fucking interview me
because he had no skillset.
Like he wasn't like a morning,
he was just more like, welcome to Philadelphia,
you know what I mean?
And they're here to hit,
and they press the button, you know what I mean? But he's not good at interviewing. He is on hotkey. Yeah, yeah, welcome to Philadelphia. You know what I mean? And they're here to hit and they press the button.
You know what I mean?
But he's not good at interviewing.
He is on hotkeys.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
What?
He does it all hotkeys.
Yeah, yeah.
He's not even talking.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Just hotkeys, you know what I mean?
This is how we start, but I want to do a proper intro.
Are you ready to go?
Let's do it.
Crack my water.
Yeah, crack your water.
Oh, it's alkaline.
I like acidic water.
Trying to get the blood pH down as low as possible.
Do you want anything else?
This is perfect.
No, it's great.
I just woke up, Haley, I'm so sorry.
No, don't worry.
The first one is always hard because I wake
up at 12 35 12 40 and my synapses are going. Is that the right word? Synapses?
Yeah but anyway
welcome to another episode of Tiger. How many is this? Probably 460.
Oh my fucking God!
Almost 500.
Almost 500.
You guys, I did a movie called Drugstore June
with a dwarf, her name is Esther Pervinsky.
Oh!
And she's, not a thick dwarf, but like, you know,
she looks like, you know, not, but when you get close,
anyway, you know what I'm saying.
She's in the fives though, she's five flat.
I don't think that constitutes.
It's just a joke.
I'm just fact checking.
I'm defending my friend.
Yeah, yeah, it's just a joke.
And you do, she does a podcast with Kaililah
and what a mighty podcast.
And she's a supermodel, Esther.
Yeah, I'm tired of people height slandering her.
Oh really?
Yeah, I am.
She is averagely petite.
Wait, so let me just introduce,
I'm gonna go back to that, right?
Because I wanna get him involved, right?
This next guy, you know, I'm a fan.
Let's, you know, he was in the boys.
I was so excited when I saw you in the boys.
And then you have a new move coming out.
You know what I mean?
That's right.
Yeah, it's like, it looks like you guys are in a tropical.
I wonder you guys, tropical, like it's a tropical place.
Looks like a whodunit.
Yeah.
Is it a whodunit?
It's a mystery.
It's a mystery for sure.
And then it looks really good.
There's billboards up, right?
Very exciting with that.
Yeah, I'm in Borderlands.
Not one billboard. I'm in Borderlands, no billboard,
but this guy gets 15, anyway, it's not competition.
It's not a competition, you're so talented.
Anyway, but you know, I first saw him in Forrest Gump.
Remember?
Yes, of course.
And then I saw him in Sixth Sense, loved AI, Spielberg.
Thanks, yeah.
There's a couple of other things after that,
I forget, my buddy.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
But just a talented guy, great actor.
Haley Joel Osment, give him a round of applause, everybody.
Thank you.
Haley, how tall are you?
I am 5'6".
Whoa, so you're in the club a little bit.
I'm in the club.
Yeah.
Where do you get your suits?
You know, this past week, I'm laughing.
I'll tell you why.
I'm laughing because this last week is like the first time
I've bought clothes in a really long time
because we're actually doing like a press push.
Oh, wow.
It's booby.
It's like, oh, I can't coast on one shopping trip I did 10
years ago. Yeah, I think I bought clothes once in high school, once 10 years ago.
Wow. Wow. Wow. And then now they're like, well, you got, you know, I, I know it's way,
way harder for women, but I felt a little like feeling of that. You're like, wait,
so I wear this to one premiere and then I can't wear it again. Why can't you?
No, you can, you can. It's just like, you know, I like to buy three things and just wear them until they fall off.
Where'd you go, where'd you go?
Where did I go?
I went to the mall, I went to Paul Smith.
And I realized I'm terrible at shopping.
I'm just terrible, I'd have no instinct for it.
And I thought I could knock it all out in a day.
And it's like, no, you're not just be able
to pull everything off the rack.
You're just getting sued, just getting sued.
You know, I got this, this is new.
This has a zipper.
I like it, yeah, yeah, I like it.
Very fancy.
Yeah, very, very, very, very.
Very casual.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I didn't realize you had a hairy chest.
Dang.
I like that.
Going out of style.
It's a good look, I like it.
Very Robbie Williams-esque.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I always dreamed of having this pair? I want everything he has.
All sons of his.
Yeah, yeah.
I want everything he has.
But you've always dreamed of having some chest hair,
or were you okay?
I've dreamt to like Tom Sellecky level.
Yeah.
Not like Barnum and Bailey Wolf Boy.
You know what I mean?
I was watching Body Bazaar last night.
I love Body Bazaar. And, and there was a wolf woman and girl
and it felt so bad, the laser there,
it's funny and sad, but anyway.
Oh, that's a real thing that people can have?
Yeah. Yeah.
Well, you know, I think there's only been like 50 cases
that's been recorded and they're all through
like, you know, circus-y kind of things, like that.
Oh, wow.
Yeah, yeah. But one of them is like a whole family like right yeah
there's back in Romania or something there was a generations of wolf people
you know I mean that's probably rude to call them that what do you could say it
like how do you say PC people that are hairy yeah yeah dog like more PC more
PC yeah yeah more PC but anyway um more, yeah, yeah. More PC.
But anyway, so can I just,
now I brought the suits because I wanna throw,
because you're 5'6", you said?
Yeah, 5'6", yeah.
So I am getting a suit
because I have a premiere tomorrow.
Nice.
And I'm, Hailey, I've gotten so fat.
Like it's, I'm more, if you put in my height
and my weight into like one of those, you know,
app or online thing, it says I'm morbidly,
yeah, I'm morbidly obese now.
You just found that out?
Excuse me.
Look, I'm having a thick season as well.
Yeah, yeah.
Excuse me.
So I can also say that my BMI is...
There's a thick in here though.
There's a thick right there.
But also, I feel like you're just like pleasantly plumped.
That's always been your vibe.
I like it.
Pleasantly plumped, yeah.
Yeah, I used to look like him.
But anyway, I'm sorry.
I digress.
I digress.
Wait, what suit did you wind up with though? No, I'm going to throw in something. So I Googled, because I was like, I don't want I digress, I digress. Wait, what did you wind up with though?
I'm gonna throw in something.
So I Googled, because I was like,
I don't wanna go to Glendale to go to Hugo Boss,
is where I usually go.
And the thing that came up locally
is Jimmy Ogg's five foot eight and less.
Is this a sketch?
It's not, it's not a sketch dude, right?
Jimmy Ogg, look it up, AUG, five foot eight or less.
It's what it's called.
For the Short Kings, yeah.
For the Short Kings.
And I was so desperate, I was like,
there's no way this place is good, but I went.
Nice.
Okay, so the first thing you see is
Ken Jeong in a photo with Jimmy Og, right?
Then Seth Green, I mean, it goes down the line, right?
Right there.
And he's there.
He's like a 90 year old Chinese man.
And he comes, welcome to Jimmy Ogg!
Like that guy.
Yeah.
And he comes, he grabs my wrist,
I got everything for you, everything.
I don't have books to go buy, everything, Jimmy Ogg.
Sounds more like a sketch.
But he must be the guy because there are a lot of,
like a lot of my friends go to Hong Kong
to get their suits tailored.
And they're really, really good there.
So.
Well, let me tell you this, all right?
I looked at Jimmy Yong's little beady little Chinese eyes.
I don't know if that's racist.
Could be.
Could be.
It sounds weird.
And I go, I looked at him and I go,
dude, I literally just won the lottery.
And he goes, and he, I mean, all the photos though
are like people that we know that are small.
Maybe, I don't see, I'm not, I'm not,
I don't know if they've only went to him once, right?
And then just like, fuck that guy, right?
Or they're like regulars.
But in my mind, I'm like, oh, I think I found the place, and he put up,
the suit looked normal, like, that's Jimmy Ogg
right there, dude.
Oh, he looks classic.
I trust him.
Yeah, I trust him, yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, he's not shady.
Yeah, and I bought a suit from him,
and I'm gonna pick it up between pods today.
You could've just like, tried and called
another Asian connect, like Philip Lim or something.
Well, who's Philip Lim?
Oh my gosh, okay. Anyways, you identify.
No, no, no, just stop, stop.
Just stop right.
So I just, let me finish this Jimmy Ong thing, okay?
So, Hailey?
Yeah.
Can you buy a suit for, I just wanna see how you feel.
Yeah.
Because all the suits are like, are our size.
All right.
Okay?
All right.
And I know it doesn't say Hugo Boss or whatever, whatever.
You know what I mean?
Or what's another suit place?
Brooks Brothers, okay. Thank you so much. Yeah, right. It's Jimmy Og stuff
But I and there also it wasn't like 150 bucks whatever or so you mean will you try it sure?
I'll go to think what's the question is he in the Galleria the Glendale gallery? No, no, no, that's your
No, no, no, no. That's your area.
Sherman Holt.
Is there an area?
I come in Glendale.
I know the ball.
I'll go, go.
You know I used to work at...
Then we put another ball next to it.
I used to work at the Abercrombie in that gallery.
Oh, no way.
Yeah.
I remember how it smells walking past this.
Fierce, the cologne was fierce.
Is that what it was?
Yeah.
Wait, wait, what's the smell?
Fierce is the name of the cologne
that if you walk into an Abercrombie,
like your senses would be violated.
That's all, it was just one giant cloud
of this one perfume we would spray.
It would go out into the mall.
Right.
Oh really?
I mean look at the branding for this.
It's ridiculous.
I must be near Abercrombie, wow.
Oh.
That's the branding.
And we had like, and we had greeters, right?
So they would pick employees that were very ripped
and fit dudes, usually with their shirt off.
And when you would enter the, when you would enter Abercrombie,
they'd just say hi to you, but they would be like,
you know, these guys that look like that.
Were they working shirtless in the store?
So they would take their shirt off
if they were just greeters that day,
and then they'd put the shirt back on
if they were folders that day.
It's intense, though.
But do you identify as a short king?
Is it something that you're like, oh, like I,
just some, like Bobby I don't think identifies
as a short king.
Maybe he thinks he's tall, I don't know.
That's what I'm saying.
I've never thought about it.
What do you mean short king?
I'm a normal king.
I'm so sorry.
I mean you're calling him Napoleon.
No, no, no.
You look normal, dude. I'm so sorry. I mean, you're calling him Napoleon. It's like, it's insane.
You look normal, dude.
You do my lips.
I'm trying to really make it sure to have this.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
About five, six, like, for instance, like five, four,
like you've always, like.
Five, three.
Yeah, thank you for finally being honest.
I was like trying to give you an extra.
I'm being real right now.
Five, three, dude.
Do you put that in your dating profiles?
Yeah, I don't care.
No, because you used to put like 5'8", I remember.
But I noticed when they meet, there's a couple of things that get
disappointed.
Okay.
It's the age, now it's some of the age,
right? It's now
the weight as well.
And then now height. So I can't just
show up and lie the whole way through.
So there's gotta be at least one, you know what I mean?
So it's like, no, I have to be honest with my weight.
Say 185, which is insane.
You're 185?
Yeah.
Am I used to be 160?
150, no?
Yeah. Okay.
I think you look great though.
We used to date.
But anyway, do you know that?
I know, I know that.
For 10 years we lived together.
Wow, really?
And now we're just best friends.
Doing a pod!
But so yeah, I wanna be complete.
So when I pick them up on a date,
they're not like bamboozled.
Okay.
You know what I mean?
So anyway, did you ever think about your height or no?
Be honest.
Not really.
I mean, the one point in my life
I remember having to confront it
was I really liked to use to play basketball and like, I'll go to school. That, the one point in my life I remember having to confront it was
I really liked to use to play basketball
in like elementary school.
That's the one place.
And when you get to seventh grade, you're like,
well, this is not gonna be happening in the future.
What, isn't John Stockton, is that, is he short?
But even those guys that look short are still like six foot.
Six foot three.
Oh, right, right, right, right, right.
I saw a crazy photo of Austin Reeves,
who looks pretty average height on the basketball court,
standing next to Albert Pujols.
And Pujols is like down there.
I was like, wow.
When you're watching baseball, he looks gigantic.
Basketball is just a different level.
Pujols looks huge.
Yeah, he's a giant guy.
Yeah.
Pujols.
Oh, Pujols.
Pujols. Yeah, yeah, I know the Pujols. Poo holes. Oh, poo holes. Poo holes.
Yeah, yeah, I know the poo hole.
Poo hole.
I don't know what the fuck a poo hole is,
but is he a player?
Yes, that's sport.
And he plays baseball, right?
Correct.
Right, with the LA Dodgers?
One seeded, one time.
One time, that's when I remember him.
That's when I remember him.
I forgot, because I'm transverse,
I'm not really gonna be keen on where did he go?
Transverse. Yeah, transverse, not mean, Kina, where did he go? Transfers?
Yeah, transfers, not really Kina, but where did he go?
Boston Red Sox.
It was Yankees.
Did he go to the Yankees?
I love Bobby's baseball lore.
Keep going.
Well, St. Louis.
He was on the Cardinals.
Yes, he was on the Cardinals.
That's how I remember.
I can't believe you got that.
What? Third guess.
No, cause I was like, where did he transfer?
Just like that.
Yes, yes, yes, there we go, I remember.
Hey.
Yeah, yeah, he's black, that's what I also remember.
Yo, Puerto Rican, right?
Dominican.
Dominican, that's what I meant, yeah, yeah.
But anyway, let's go back to,
so you never thought about your height.
No, not until this interview.
If I ever had to front that.
I mean, can I be fair with you?
Sure.
On screen you look six foot two.
Oh, thank you.
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, you would not know that you were five six.
You know what I mean?
DraftKings Casino!
The days might be getting shorter, but the action on DraftKings Casino! The days might be getting shorter,
but the action on DraftKings Casino is here to stay.
Play hundreds of games for endless excitement.
Try your hand at classic table games,
or set the slots on fire with fan favorites
like Cash Eruption!
New players can play just five bucks
and get 50 instantly in casino credits.
Download the DraftKings Casino app and sign up with code TIGERBELLY.
Then press play on your favorite games to join the fun.
The crown is yours.
Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER.
Or in West Virginia, visit www.1-800-GAMBLER.NET.
In Connecticut, help is available for problem gambling.
Call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org. Please play responsibly 21 plus.
Physically present in Connecticut, Michigan, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, West Virginia,
only void in Ontario. Eligibility and other restrictions apply. One offer per new casino
customer. Casino credits are non-withdrawable and expire in 168 hours.
Terms at casino.draftkings.com slash get 50.
Ends October 6th, 2024.
Build, build, build, B-I-L-T, build.
Listen up renters.
Ever feel like you're stuck in this loop of rent payments just watching your money vanish into thin air?
It's time to turn that rent game around
and start earning some serious rewards.
That's where Built Rewards comes in.
Built is breaking ground as a neighborhood rewards program
that hooks you up with points on your rent.
Every month, pay your rent and watch the Built points roll in.
You know, imagine paying rent and it not going to waste. And that's the whole point of it. You can use points to jet off on a dream
vacation. Put your points towards a flight or a hotel. Stay with 500 plus
airlines and 700,000 hotels and properties. You can also use your points
to book fitness studio classes. Redeem them toward a future rent payment and
they're designed to meet your lifestyle. Pay rent hassle-free through the BILT Rewards app. Your rent game just got a major upgrade.
BILT points have been consistently ranked the highest value point currency by the points guy and bank rate.
Earn points by paying rent now when you go to joinbilt.com slash belly.
That's J-O-I-N-B-I-L-T dot com slash Belly.
Make sure you use our URL so they know we sent you.
Join build dot com slash Belly to start earning points
with your rent payments today.
And also, can I just say another thing?
Yeah.
Have you met Tom Cruise?
Yes, I have.
You have?
Where?
You know, I auditioned for Jerry Maguire three years ago,
or whatever, for her son.
Yeah, they did.
Oh, wow.
I can't believe you didn't get,
wait, was that before Sixth Sense?
Yes, yeah.
Oh, there must've been a close tie, though.
I don't even remember what the circumstances were.
I think it might've, I was on a network sitcom at the time
and I don't think I could've left that show.
I think that's what may have happened,
but I don't remember, it was a really long time ago.
Who knows?
Wow.
And so what sitcom was it, do you know?
I was on the Jeff Oxfordy show, I believe.
Unless it was so long ago, it was Thunder,
I don't think it was that long ago.
Wow. Thunder Alley was the first show I was Thunder. I don't think it was that long ago. Wow.
Thunder Alley was the first show I ever did.
So.
94.
94.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What's crazy with you is, not crazy,
it's, you know what I mean, but it's not normal,
is that, I mean, when you were five or six,
you were on Forrest Gump, right?
Four.
Yeah, that was the first thing I ever did.
I mean, dude, imagine, dude, look at it. Here it is, you're four years old there?
Yeah, 1992.
Oh my God, dude.
Wow.
And so from then on, you've been working.
Pretty much.
Yeah.
How about you?
How about you, Boggs?
Fuck you.
I don't have that kind of talent.
Fuck you, dude.
Did you see that thing the other day?
I think it was Anya Taylor-Joy and her fiance or husband, they were in the same room. How about you, Boggs? Fuck you! I don't have that kind of talent! Fuck you!
Did you see that thing the other day?
I think it was Anya Taylor-Joy and her fiance or husband, he, without realizing it, proposed
on the Forrest Gump bench in Savannah.
And then they posted a pic.
I think it was them.
And then later people were like, hey, that's the Forrest Gump bench.
No, really?
Yeah, yeah.
Not this one, the one where he's sitting in the beginning of it.
Oh, right.
So that's an actual bench that's still there? This is a fake bench. We put that there. Oh, really? There, yeah. Not this one, the one where he's sitting in the beginning. All right, so that's an actual bench that's still there?
This is a fake bench. We put that there.
Oh, really? There's no bench there.
So the Forrest Gump bench, is there like a little plaque that says this is the Forrest Gump bench?
I don't know. I haven't been back to Savannah since then.
There is. There is?
There is. It has.
Confirmed. You can't spray paint on it. Like, you know what I mean? Like,
Crips or whatever. Or bloods, whatever you affiliate with.
But is that even still a thing?
Are the bloods and crepes in Savannah?
No.
I don't know, they didn't get out there?
They didn't reach that far.
All right. MS-13.
They have to be there.
They have to infiltrate.
Probably a lot of Latinos.
Yeah, for sure. Yeah.
OK. You're not allowed to tag on the Forrest Gump bench.
There's a truce.
Nobody has a gun.
It's too important to stand by.
Yeah, yeah, even them.
You remember?
Hey, bro, don't fucking do it.
You know what I mean?
There was a group of kids a long time ago
that broke into the Robert Frost house,
which I think is in Massachusetts,
and had a party and vandalized it.
And the judge punished them by saying,
you have to take a poetry class now.
So they had to learn about Robert Frost
after vandalizing the house.
Poetic.
So do you remember that?
Yes, very well.
How do you remember it?
It was such an unusual thing to do at that age.
I don't even know if I'd really been out
of the state of California.
Well, I probably visited relatives by that age.
But going and being on a huge film set
and working with Tom Hanks, who I was aware of at the time.
I'd seen Turner and Hooch.
Wow.
Maybe big.
But I remember that whole day very well.
And I actually have at home a, they changed the dialogue
a little bit right before we shot it, and Tom got a yellow legal pad
and wrote out the new scene in this red pen,
and I still have that framed at home.
So that's my earliest film memorabilia.
And also because it's such a, you know,
it's like a film classic, right?
It's always just kind of been in the culture,
you know what I mean?
So that sort of maybe even kind of connects
with your memory of it.
Yeah.
In a weird way, right?
Yeah, it is weird that we're, yeah.
Because if it is something that I also witnessed
as an audience member later on,
I remember watching that year at the Oscars
when they won Best Picture.
Yeah.
And it's like, yeah, it's weird how those things
kind of intersect. Yeah. You know, as a kid like that and you're watching it,ars when they won Best Picture. Yeah. And it's like, yeah, it's weird how those things kind of intersect.
Yeah.
No, as a kid like that, when you're watching it,
are you self-aware, like, oh my god, I'm a fucking movie star
at all.
No.
I'm a movie star.
I'm going to get some.
When I'm 18, I'm going to get some pussy.
I'm a short king.
I'm a short king.
I'm a short king.
Get some pussy.
Well, I'll be so busy with basketball at that age.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
My career with the Lakers. When you look back at it, are you impressed with your young self? Are you like, whoa, I can be so busy with basketball at that. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Career with the Lakers.
When you look back at it, are you
impressed with your young self?
Are you like, whoa, I can't believe that I did that at four?
I don't know.
Like, it's, I don't think I'm impressed with it.
Like, you know, because I think what
worked for me in those roles is that I was still just like a kid at that age.
And I think that comes through in that performance that, you know, it just does seem like a four-year-old
who, you know, I remember this audition, we were going to go on a camping trip in Bishop right after.
And that's what I was thinking about that whole day. I was like, as soon as this is done, we get to go to the cabin and go fishing.
Wow.
That's, I think that's a good, that's a helpful thing doing a good performance
if you're not even really thinking about what that actually meant for my life and
career at that moment.
Wow.
But the thing is-
That was my audition shirt.
I remember that shirt.
Wow.
Remember that shirt.
But you understand if at five years old,
I would have boogers.
It's coming to my nose, right?
I would have no, I don't really know.
Story about this.
Yeah, go ahead.
I did this episode of Touched by an Angel
when I was like eight or nine.
And it was a true story based on this painter
who had Lou Gehrig's disease and who passed away
and we played as kids and there is a scene where we're like at his bedside like and he's like
passing away it's a very sad scene it was me and then the middle sibling in the show and then the
youngest kid who was like five and the first time we shot it me and the older kid are like crying
like dad we love you and then the the littlest kid is just picking his nose
and staring off in the other direction.
I remember the director laughing so hard.
He was crying and couldn't speak.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But watching that in playback of two kids who were acting
and one kid who's like, I don't know where I am right now.
Yeah.
You know, it really does take a turn.
I'm that kid.
I'm that kid.
Yeah, yeah.
Is that it?
Yeah, touched by an angel.
Is that it?
Wow. Wow. God. There was. And the that it? Yeah, touched by an angel. Is that it?
Wow.
Wow.
God.
There was.
And the third kid, he's always in the background.
Oh, that's him.
Oh, that's the, yeah, yeah, yeah, there he is.
Over his nose, yeah.
I will say I was watching, like years ago,
a WWE match with Kurt Angle in it.
Do you guys know who Kurt Angle is?
No.
He's like the all-American.
Bald. Yeah, anyways.
All-American what?
Wrestler.
Olympic wrestler.
Yeah, Kurt Angle and he was part of this thing
with Randy Orton or whatever.
Anyways, one night, I swear to you, I really loved him,
but it took me out.
He had the most massive, massive, just like meatball of a booger while he was performing.
And the camera zoomed right on him. And after that moment, he was no longer who he was in my head.
Like all of it. I was just like, oh, I don't like him anymore. Curred angle.
You shallow piece of shit.
I know, I know. But I was younger. I was only in my 20s.
You fucking, what a piece of shit you are.
I was like, he can't be an Olympian with that,
with this thing, this is shameful
and I really got turned off by Kurt Angle after it,
which is nice.
You should be mad at that makeup artist or whatever.
No, they can't, because they're actively
like throwing their bodies around, so yeah.
Oh, okay.
Oh, has the Philippines won anything yet?
Yes, two golds, Carlos Yulo, thank you.
Wow, what event?
Gymnastics. A hard one,. So the floor routine and the vault
He's won so far. We have a couple people in track. Thank you
Because four years ago you said you had the weight lifter and that's it. Yeah, and now you guys are evolving
You know for a third world country, we're not doing bad with no financial support from the government
We're not doing bad the fact that she had to I was clapping for you
One probably not as much probably a lot
Look it up
Dairy you Bob you all right anyway, let's go back to Haley
Break yeah, yeah, yeah.
Filipino break.
All right, so I know you.
Here's another thing that I've been struggling with
when I knew you were coming, is I don't want to ask you
about shit that you've been asked a million times.
It must be fucking boring.
Nah.
No, no, no, be real.
It's not boring.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
How much do you love talking about Sixth Sense?
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
It's like, I don't even want to go there
because it's like, you know what I mean?
But I do have questions.
Sure.
Well, it is.
I'll give you a max three questions.
I don't even know what the questions are,
but it's something, it's interesting
because it's such a huge part of my life.
And it's the 25th anniversary tomorrow.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow, wow.
Yeah, which is wild.
All right, so I want to say this, okay? All right. Which is wild. All right, so I wanna say this, okay?
All right, and Haley, I want you to look at me right now.
That's weird.
Yeah, don't make eye contact.
Haley, I wanna say something right now, okay?
You weren't just a kid actor, okay?
You were like the Daniel Day-Lewis of it.
Wow!
You literally were. You were like, oh that kid is a prodigy almost.
You know what I mean? So it's like, you know, when I bring up these movies and stuff, I know you've talked about it a million times,
but my honest opinion is, even when I was a young man watching you I
was like oh no that's a completely something different. Oh man. I mean to
watch him in to lead in AI to be the number one on the call sheet with that
with Steven Spielberg directing with the amounts of pressure that goes on with
these productions and as a kid I just don't even, I can't even comprehend what that's like.
I mean, you must've been on set every day, all day long,
and it's tiring, and it's like a lot of mental fatigue.
And he's also a kid, so he's going through
whatever he goes through as a kid.
So it's like, for me, when I used to watch,
I was like, oh no, this kid is something different.
You're just something different.
You know what I mean?
So let's clap for that. I was very good. But anyway, so that's why, so don't ever say like, oh no, this kid is something different. You're just something different. Thank you. You know what I mean?
So let's clap for that.
Thank you.
I was very good.
But anyway, so that's why, so don't ever say like,
oh, I was just a kid actor and you're not.
You were different.
And that's why I really don't mind talking about it now
because I am really proud of those movies
and it is amazing to me that they still matter to people
this many years.
So yeah, and AI has been a really interesting one too
because I think it was
definitely underappreciated at the time and people had some preconceived notions of who was
responsible for what between Spielberg and Kubrick and to his, you know, great credit,
I admire him so much. He, I think he said to either Bonnie Curtis or Kathleen Kennedy,
when people were talking about this stuff, he's like, I'm not going to worry about it,
I'm just going to make a great movie.
Wow.
That's what he does.
Yeah, yeah.
And then I think over time,
I think it's really grown in people's estimation.
And it's just really cool to have been
on the inside of that.
Did Kathleen Kennedy produce AI?
Yes.
Wow.
So you remember, do you remember her on set and stuff?
Oh yeah.
Wow.
I mean, we worked on that for close to two years,
counting pre-production and learning to scuba dive.
And then we took it around the world
and screened it at Venice and Deauville.
And I mean it was just a really cool experience
because it was such an involved experience for so long.
They made you learn to scuba dive.
They didn't have to make me.
I was very pumped for that to get certified.
Because we had, I mean, it's just one sequence
in the movie, really.
But it was a lot of time filming underwater for that part
where I'd jump off the building at the end
and then sink to the bottom of the...
Yeah, where do they shoot that?
That was a couple different places.
There was the tank at Paramount, I think.
And then where else did we,
I guess we had water features at Warner.
And then there's a scene where I almost,
or I almost drown my half brother
or my step brother in the pool.
Oh, that's right.
At that party, which that was one of the craziest shots
because they just long crane shot close up on me.
And then the crane would just slowly like zoom out
to see the whole pool.
So I just had to be lying completely on the bottom of the pool for
a while, which is fun. How long? Uh, God, I don't know, but you know,
probably only like 45 seconds, but no bubbles or anything. You just had to be
Wow. That was a good one. I imagine what your, are your eyes closed? Uh, no,
open and not blinking. Oh, wow. Oh yeah, there it is. And, no, open and not blinking. Oh yeah, there it is.
And, uh, it's a really crazy thing to put lead weights in your pockets so that
you, you sink and stay on the bottom because he's made of metal.
Was there a time where Spielberg went, I caught Haley, you, you, you clicked.
I don't remember the details.
I think there were a couple of flutters of the eyelids.
And I know that it wasn't cheap to take those out in post.
Oh, wow, wow, wow.
That was in another pool.
We should, oh, god, were we out in like Calabasas
for the party and parts of those pool scenes?
And then that's the pool at the Warner Ranch.
The Warner Ranch, wow.
That's kind of near the Friends Fountain, if I remember correctly. The Warner Ranch, wow. That's kind of near the Friends Fountain,
if I remember correctly.
Wow, wow, wow.
Did he ever raise your voice?
No, no, he's not a, he doesn't direct like that.
Yeah, have you had screamers before?
Not really, and it's interesting
because everybody knows famous Hollywood stories
of directors that are super aggressive,
or screamers, stories of directors that, you know, are super aggressive or screamers or things like that. But I, you know, I'm grateful to have not had that experience,
but also I think just from, from my experience, I was like, I don't think that's as effective
as somebody who, you know, uh, isn't ruling with an iron fist. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
It seems like they only scream with you
It seems like they only scream with you. At you.
You get screamers all the time.
Now I'm thinking.
He's got a record.
Maybe it's a you thing.
I think it is.
When you just said that, I was mad at first.
But I'm thinking, is she, and then maybe you're right.
Maybe I am.
Because even Nick Goosen, who I don't think screams, screamed at you.
On drugs for tuning? I am because even Nick Goosen who I don't think screams screamed at you
He didn't scream at me I got ketchup and onion rings all over his real car really We didn't scream he didn't scream at me
That first day the scene
Huge fight really oh yeah
Like he got to the point was like fuck you fuck you kind of a damn yeah, yeah, so maybe you're right You know what it may be right and I want to say that. Like it got to the point where it was like, fuck you, fuck you kind of a thing. Oh damn.
Yeah, yeah, so maybe you're right.
You know, maybe you're right,
and I wanna say that maybe it's just not my thing.
Oh, but it is.
No, I'm just saying maybe it's like,
maybe I have to be different on set.
Okay, and I wanna change myself, all right?
You know what I mean?
And we will address it later, but we have a guest.
But you have a very good point, okay? And that hurt.
But you know what?
Sometimes you need to hurt to grow.
Okay, so anyway.
Great lesson, great lesson.
Well let's go back to just a couple of questions
about Six Sons.
Sure.
All right.
If you saw Toni Collette on the street,
would she hug you?
Yeah.
Okay.
Have you seen her since then?
No, I don't think I have seen her since the movie came out. Wow. Yeah, that's hug you? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Have you seen her since then?
No, I don't think I have seen her since the movie came out.
Yeah. That's what happens in this industry.
I know.
Like you work really intensely with people for two months
then you might not see them again for years and years.
Or never even.
Yeah. Yeah.
The worst is, cause I'm not in huge movies
but I did Borderlands and we did it in Budapest.
Oh, how was that?
It was fun.
Yeah. And then we you know because we had to do it during COVID you know I mean um we all
quarantined together or whatever. Yeah. So we all kind of were all just saw each other every day
even when we were off. Yeah. I mean and we ate meals together and stuff. Yeah. And there were
numbers exchanged and there was like yeah yeah yeah yeah I've never seen I haven't seen anybody
since that was three years I've never seen anyone since. Yeah, everybody scatters to the four winds
after this industry.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know, not to plug the movie I have coming out,
but Plunk It, Plunk It, Plunk It.
But Plink Twice, formerly known as Pussy Island,
that was an experience.
It was called Pussy Island?
Yeah, yeah.
Wow, wow, wow.
Yeah, until just recently,
but I understand why it had to be changed.
Um.
Yeah, yeah.
But I'll explain. I'd watch a movie called Pussy Island. I'll tell you that. Well, that's what but I understand why it had to be changed.
I'd watch a movie called Pussy Island. Well, that's what they do, right? Depending on what country the film is being watched, they change the title.
For instance, like what was the Polly Shore one? Was it Encino Man or California Man?
Encino Man here.
Okay, so we didn't, in Philippines they marketed as California man. Yeah
We were like I've we don't know what an Encino is yeah, but California stuck out
So when I would come here like oh, have you seen California man? What the fuck are you talking? Oh, wow?
Wow, yeah, is that a good movie? I love it, oh my God, so good.
It's like one of my favorite movies.
Yeah, yeah.
I think that Pussy Island is equally as strong
Yeah. of a title.
Yeah.
So in the Philippines it's called Minnesota and not Fargo?
I would say.
I'm trying to remember.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Have you seen Minnesota? I'm trying to remember.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Have you seen Minnesota?
Yeah.
Wow.
Okay.
That's it.
So this was, this shooting, this movie was very much all of us basically living at the
location out in the jungle near Merida in Mexico.
Wow.
You know, yeah.
Like going to summer camp and just spending.
For how long? A little over a month there. Wow. You know, yeah, like going to summer camp and just spending. For how long? A little over a month there.
Wow.
And yeah, it's been,
but it's been great though,
because the group chat is still very active.
Oh, wow.
Like it's been nice,
because it was a particularly,
I mean, there were a lot of logistical difficulties
shooting this movie where we were shooting it.
So it was definitely,
and because of, you know,
I can't give away what's in the movie,
but it's an intense movie,
and we all went through a really,
you know, great experience working together to make it. So it's an intense movie, and we all went through a really great experience
working together to make it, so it's been nice.
This is an example of like,
we actually do still see each other.
It's nice.
I don't care, I mean, were the meals nice?
Are you in the jungle, or where were you?
Very far, I mean, I was expecting to get really good
at speaking Spanish when I was there,
and you were just completely isolated
out in the middle of the jungle with a lot of Americans.
But the logistics, because in two weeks,
in a week I'm going to Butte, Montana for three weeks.
I'm shooting a movie.
Oh, nice.
But in my mind I'm like.
You won't learn Spanish there.
Yeah.
He speaks perfect.
What are you worried about?
I will, I will.
No, but I'm just saying, it's like, you know,
I mean the hotel's not gonna be that nice.
I don't know where to eat.
I worry about that.
Are you kidding me?
Montana?
I can't imagine it not being absolutely beautiful.
We call it Butt Montana who've been through there.
Oh really?
Well, good luck Bobby.
I drove through there once on a Greyhound bus
and I think I walked through people
who are gonna get in a fight.
You're not, I think one of them said,
you're not even worthy to lick the sweat off my balls.
And I was like, I just want a Gatorade,
because it's 2 AM and I'm thirsty, and I walked through that.
So that's Butt Montana for you.
So you're gonna judge a city.
Ooh, let me get this straight.
Let me get this straight.
You're gonna judge a city based on...
Boseman's beautiful.
Please don't interrupt me, please.
Helena, please.
Okay.
Helena, gorgeous.
You're gonna judge a city based on
what you saw two people say?
Glacier National Park, I mean, Nebraska.
Anyway.
Okay, we might have to cut this out,
but like, I can't wait for your
****ing asses to be on camera.
If George is having trouble there, I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'm yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, we have to keep that in. What kind of pivot was that? That was the craziest pivot.
Sorry, Haley.
So Haley, what I'm saying is,
was there a nice hotel and food and stuff?
In Mexico City, there was.
This was, it was perfect for what we needed for the movie.
But it was way out there.
And you know, it's,
I enjoyed this part of the atmosphere,
but you know, giant snakes and big bugs.
Wow.
And it was like a 17th century hacienda
that seemed like it had a dark history in some ways.
So it really helped, I think, the atmosphere
making the movie of having that feeling in your bones.
And Zoe Kravitz directed it.
Terrific director, great person.
And we're talking about people's style as a director
She reminded me of working with night the first time I work with them because it's very it's very stressful making a movie and there's a Lot you have to deal with yeah
I there was similarities in both of them maintaining a very even keel and
It makes it so it takes a lot of the stress out of the stress of making a movie when that's the demeanor of your director
Yeah, when your director is stressed out and you can tell it fucks it up for everybody. Yeah, you're like, oh my god
What's going on here? Yeah, I mean what so what she she she said to what a talented person. Oh, yeah
Yeah, she wrote it too. Right? Yes with with Eric Feigenbaum. Yeah Wow Wow
It's yeah, they they wrote it I think in early 2017. Is she in it? No, she's not in it.
Okay, that's another interesting thing.
Yeah.
She's not in it, you know?
Yeah.
So you can just concentrate on,
I'm gonna direct something, you'll see.
I really want you to, and I really wanna find out
if he's a screamer or not.
Oh, maybe.
Oh, maybe.
Okay, let me think, let me think.
Yeah, he's very interesting.
I'll be really honest with you, okay?
So give me a scenario. Okay. Hailey's your actor.
Yeah. Yeah. Give me a scenario.
You specifically picked out a wardrobe for me to wear and then I show up on set and we're so far
away from base camp and I wore my own thing. And you are very particular.
I'm very particular.
I was like, no, I'm wearing this. All right. So I'm so I'm gonna come up. Hey Haley what's up?
Hey. Yeah. Excited about the scene? Oh very excited. Yeah yeah. Thanks for letting me
finally do full frontal. No one's ever let me do it before. I asked every movie. But before the full frontal though.
Yeah yeah. I picked out a little thing to wear so that you can take
it. Well, that's not an important part of the scene though. Yeah. But you know, to tell you this,
Haley, um, you know, like Wes Anderson and whatnot, et cetera, et cetera. You know, um,
you know, they have a specific vision of what they want. You know what I mean? Yeah. And I just,
no one dresses like that in the movie. So can you go back and wear the, what thing I?
Bobby, we're losing the light.
Like it's magic hour.
I don't think I have enough time
to get back to the trailer.
Oh, God, oh, it's now, now.
No, no, wait, wait, stop.
I can feel it right here.
Yeah, yeah.
Ooh.
I can feel it, I'm gonna, all right, so.
This is your lead actor.
Okay, hold on for a second. Then I go to my producer and I go,
can we CGI clothes?
Bobby, it's going to cost a hundred million.
We can't do that.
All right, and now we're going to come back.
It's like, Haley, I'm sorry.
We're going to put light.
You got to just change.
All right. That's it.
See? First AD here. We don't have time.
We've got to get now.
Oh, you're so close.
Okay, let's shoot, let's shoot, let's shoot.
Thank God.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Wait, I haven't called action yet.
What the fuck are you doing?
Yeah, okay, so yeah, I guess.
Alright, so you be the director.
Okay.
Alright.
I was three hours late.
Yeah, and I'm the lead, right?
Yeah.
And I just kind of show up on set.
What's the reason?
What?
For lateness.
This has happened before.
It's just because I waited, you know what, dude?
I'll tell him the reason when he approaches me.
Yeah, okay.
So I show up, what's it?
Hey Bobby, you haven't been answering our calls
or texts all morning, what happened?
Oh yeah, that's interesting that you would say that, Mr.
Osmond, because yesterday I showed up at 2 PM call time.
Yeah.
And we didn't shoot till 7.
Well.
So I'm just kind of making up for time.
You know what I mean?
I understand that, but.
Jesus Christ, dude.
Because you weren't here this morning,
we lost this location.
And we're not going to be able to get it back in the future.
So I'm going to say, we have to cut.
You know what I just heard there?
Boo hoo, boo hoo, boo hoo.
Cutting your scene.
Cutting your big scene.
Oh!
It's a reversal on.
It's a good one.
But Bobby, I want you to know.
Whoa, you put your hand there?
I would never yell at you.
Oh.
I would just cut your scenes.
Wow, wow, wow.
You completely, that's a good way to just completely cut it.
That's so funny how he overrode your boo hoo boo.
Cutting your big seat.
He overrode it.
He's right here and he's like you're out.
Wow. How would you be?
I want to see how you would be as a director.
Oh, with you?
No, we're both actors.
We're both late.
We're late and we show up together.
I know what the scenario is.
So during the Island of Dr. Morale.
Oh, that documentary.
Great documentary.
Just incredible.
Incredible.
Is this the one with the dolphin?
Yeah, well no, Marlon Brando suggested
that he takes a mask off and that he's a dolphin.
Yeah.
Do you remember?
Do you remember?
When he's sitting with the guy in a hammock singing
Froggy went according and John Frankenheimer's like,
I think I can make a movie out of this.
Like, that's all he'll do is sit with the guy in the hammock.
So anyway, in the documentary,
they said that Marlon Brando and Val Kilmer,
were like, they didn't want to show up first on the set,
right, so they just both never showed up.
They would go, hey, is Val there yet?
And they're like, no, well, I'm not going up first.
And then Val was like, is Marlon there?
No, and they just never showed up.
So they lost a day, a complete day.
What did he say to Farouz Abalk?
She went up to him and was like, Marlon,
how should I, I'm really confused
about everything.
He's like, how should I approach this?
He's like, sweetie, this piece of shit's never coming out.
Yeah, yeah.
Not only that, he goes on.
You can say whatever you want.
It doesn't matter.
You can say whatever you want.
It doesn't matter.
Wow.
You know what I mean?
It means nothing.
Wow.
Yeah.
So anyway, so him and I are like that.
Okay.
Right?
So you lost a day. Okay. All right. the next day, I just, I show up first.
And I go, hey, did Hailey show up?
No.
Well, I'm here then.
What's the problem?
No, what are you doing?
This is my response.
Actually, yeah, what is the problem?
You're down.
What is the problem?
We're here.
No, but we lost yesterday too.
Okay. We lost a full lost yesterday too. OK.
We lost a full day yesterday.
OK.
All right, so anyway, OK, do you got it?
Yeah, are you Marlon and he's Val?
No, we're playing ourselves.
Yes.
Actually, let's try that.
You're Marlon, you're Val Kilberg.
All right.
Do your best, Marlon.
I'm here.
I'm here.
Good to see you.
What happened yesterday? I don't want to be honest. It's not good to see you
I'm trying to erase the image of you from my mind. Okay, listen man. Where's Val?
What do you think? Where the fuck is Val? I have a question for you. What do you think we're doing here?
What? What are we doing here? I'll tell you what I've been doing. Okay?
Gunfather, right? here what are we doing here I'll tell you what I've been doing okay gun father all right last tango in Paris right not this piece of shit Filipino
whatever piece of shit right so that's what I'm going so anyways where's
though I mean cuz you want to ego ego. No, no, yeah.
Where's Val?
You're paying me a million a day?
Even yesterday, no, young lady, I'm talking.
Even yesterday.
Oh, did you young lady me?
Your name was Kalanko, I don't even know your name.
I'm fucking Marlon Browno.
Anyway, yesterday, right?
I didn't show up, right?
Val and I didn't show up, right?
You still paid me a million dollars, go fuck yourself.
No, no.
I have an idea for you. Go ahead. Dolphins. Right? Vail and I didn't show up, right? You still paid me a million dollars, go fuck yourself now. No.
I have an idea for you.
Go ahead.
Dolphins.
Oh, she captures your imagination.
You like dolphins?
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Let's do it.
Let's go with it.
Okay, we're the fuckers, man.
Tell me about your-
Yeah, yeah.
What would you do in that situation?
Honestly, here, I would sort of play
into your dementia a little bit.
But give you some of the things that you want,
pretend like your ideas are good,
and then get you to do some of mine.
Well, that's the headache of dealing
with those old school actors, right?
I mean, they just acted, some of them, right, like that.
You can't act like that anymore.
Yeah.
And I think that generation really had to battle to have directors respect their process, I think.
So I think working with that generation now,
I think that there's still very much like,
you're not going to take direction from some director.
You know how to do your thing.
And I would be very curious to direct something like that.
Because I think I'm very to direct something like that,
because I think I'm very good at responding
to that kind of attitude.
Really?
I think I could make that sort of comfortable.
But I don't think you would hire people that did that.
No, that's also true.
Yeah.
And I think now, when you act like that,
you just don't work again.
Yeah.
I mean, we know many people, I don't want to name names,
and you watch TikTok and stuff, and they go,
well, this guy person hasn't worked
because of this attitude.
I think maybe they might be
right you know I mean but there is also something to be said though about
someone's like we had Lamar and Morris on yeah and he talked about having a
gentle face and how he can say anything because his face is really gentle like I
don't have a gentle face so even if I say something nice it comes off
aggressive yeah but you have a gentle essence you have a gentle face so even if I say something nice it comes off aggressive But you have a gentle essence. You have a gentle like I would take notes from you
I don't care like do me do me do me
Just like Haley. So on first appearance. We have the same kind of no on first appearance
You would look gentle adjacent, but I think that you know the smoking and the foot fungus all of that stuff
It's just a little bit like-
I don't know why foot fungus has anything to do with it.
That's a fucking insane-
You just think, you know, you look a little bit like life, like, kind of like beat you up a bit.
Okay. Anyway, that's not nice.
Me too, though. But me too.
Let's go back to Hailey, okay?
But yes, I would absolutely take direction for this.
I think. Yeah, yeah. Is that something you want to do?
Yeah, definitely.
Wow. That's going to be great. Hopefully that's the next thing up. I was, I moved back to LA in 2020 to really
kind of focus on, on getting some stuff made in that way. Then we had a pandemic and then we had
a strike and I'm hoping if we survive 2024 that then would you have a project? Yeah, I got some
things. Wow. So 2020, where were you before that?
New York for 15 years.
Oh, wow.
I really loved living there.
Oh, that must have been amazing.
But I was never shooting there.
I was always out here and I was like,
this doesn't make a lot of sense to be flying back and forth
just because I like it there.
So when did you move there, though, after college?
For college, and then I just stayed.
Oh, wow.
What college did you go to?
NYU.
Whoa. Now, when you go to? NYU. Wow.
Yeah.
Now when you went to NYU because you're a movie star,
was that, did people recognize you?
Because you got older.
Yeah, people recognized me, but it was,
I did the experimental theater wing at Tisch there
and that was cool for a lot of reasons,
but it's also like a lot of people in that program
had way more experience than I did, you know,
doing theater and I mean it was a very diverse group of people coming from a lot of people in that program had way more experience than I did doing theater.
I mean, it was a very diverse group of people
coming from a lot of different places,
and it was really cool because also,
when I was shooting films and TV shows,
I usually wasn't working with a lot of other kids.
So then to go into a program where it's all people,
your age, that was really fun.
Oh, that must have been a fucking blessing.
Yeah, it was great.
Also, you're just, as a kid,
you're just doing adult things
constantly around adults.
You know what I mean, the responsibilities
and all that stuff.
You must not have had a childhood.
No, I think I really did.
And it was like-
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
That was crazy!
I'm so sorry, yeah, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
That gave my heart, that gave my heart.
Let me get that over with.
No, and the reason was that...
I know it's too...
Not gentle.
I was a big kid.
You're right, you're right, you're right.
I'm so sorry.
Not a gentle face.
No, but the reason I feel like I did is that
when you're working as a kid,
the laws, at least in California,
is that you have to do three hours of school a day.
And if you can only be on set for eight or nine hours,
that doesn't leave them a lot of time to shoot with you.
So it makes more sense to shoot things with kids
in the summer.
So I went to regular elementary school,
regular middle school, regular high school,
and then college.
So I felt that.
Oh, you did it?
Oh, so you had friends and all that.
Yeah, I had tutors on the set,
but I spent the majority of my school career
going to regular class.
Oh, I didn't know.
I didn't know.
Sorry, sorry, that's my bad.
I want to pull that back, right?
So you were able to go to prom or whatever.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I was on the prom committee.
Wow.
That's how much time I had to devote to school.
Who'd you go to prom with?
I went, did I go three times?
I think I went three times.
Oh, wax.
Yeah, you know.
Yeah, it was good.
What was I gonna say?
I just had a flashback to my friend.
We had our class meeting trying to figure out the theme.
He goes, what if instead of a theme,
it was more like a saying like, when in Rome?
This was shot down, but I think about that a lot I was
like that would be a great prom thing it was it was not even was a concept yeah
yeah it was a motto what was yours like the the they always had a slogan right
yeah I don't I never went you didn't go to prom. I don't think so. I went to homecoming once or something with who I forget. Oh
Yeah, I was an incel
I was one of the first in
The original I do think you are
Best case scenario like of like the incel redemption story though
Because you're kind, you know what I mean?
Because Insels are rage-fueling.
I wanna paint a different picture here, right?
You can't for Insels.
Okay.
You can't.
There is one picture and it has been painted.
For Insels.
Permanent marker.
Art supplies have been locked back up.
Okay, okay, okay.
All right, so then you had like,
you lived at your parents' house and stuff.
Yeah, in, yeah, yeah.
Were they still together?
Are they still together?
Yeah.
Wow, great parents.
Yeah, yeah, I got a lot to be grateful about for them.
Yeah.
And did, like, back in the day,
did they drive you to auditions and all that? Yeah, yeah, yeah's, uh, and it's something you wanted to do. Yeah. And that was one of the coolest
things they did was to be very clear. They're like, if this isn't fun at any point, like you
can quit tomorrow. And I think both of them in their own ways had, are still to this day, suspicious
of the industry, which I think was a good attitude to have, because I spent a lot of time on set, but I did not spend a lot of time doing like Hollywood adjacent things or, you know, doing all that other stuff.
When I'd be off set, like I'd just be basically back in school.
Wow, that's so cool, dude.
It was good.
Yeah. And maybe that has a lot to do with why you're still working today, too.
Maybe it has a lot to do with why you're still working today too. I think so. I think had I lived a life where I was really leaning into the celebrity part of being in the industry,
I think I might have gotten sick of doing it by now.
And now it's like I still really love my job. So that's a nice thing.
Wow. That's cool. So if we ever have children and they want to be actors, that's how you do it.
Live at home and just normal. the normalcy of it all.
I knew that about, because when I saw you,
I'll have to be honest, I don't know why I'm laughing,
but when we did Drugs for June, I was a little,
because I'm a fan, so I was a little like going,
a little nervous almost.
What?
Yeah, yeah I was. Meeting a little nervous almost. What? Yeah, yeah I was.
Meeting you a little bit.
And you were so nice, I was like, oh, he's a super nice guy.
You're like, the other day when we had Ron Blow here,
I was a little nervous when I looked at him
because it's like, you know, when I look at him,
I look at, or like, when people I've seen over the years,
you know what I mean, in things,
there's a little bit of an adjustment,
you know, like David Spada was like probably one of the first comics where I had to adjust,
you know what I mean, and then you just kind of get used to it and then just become a friend,
you know what I mean, but it's like, it's a little, when I first met him, that was the
case, but then I was like, oh no, he's super nice, you know what I mean, you know, nice
guy. And so when does this movie come out?
This comes out on August 23rd in theaters everywhere.
So are you...
Something I wanted to ask you,
because you know that the business has changed.
Oh yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
How do you feel about that?
I'm very concerned about just the future
of movies and television.
I think there, we've seen, I mean,
it's faced a lot of act of God horribleness
in the last couple of years with the pandemic.
And I think we saw a lot of problems come to light
during the strike of just how these companies
have really been okay with taking advantage
of people's work and not thinking
about how if you make conditions this terrible for actors and writers, you're going to run
out of people who can survive and make all the great shows and things that we love over
the years.
So I think there's a lot of short-sightedness at the very top of the industry.
Well, I think also simultaneously what was happening was there was a new type of media coming out, right?
The internet.
And they had no plan for what to do.
Because I mean, all these streamers,
it was just like more subscribers, more subscribers,
more subscribers.
And then on that fateful day in 2022
where Netflix lost subscribers, nobody knew what to do.
It's like you had a decade to plan.
Yeah, but then you also get free entertainment
like this show, right?
So when you're putting out free entertainment,
and a lot of these, some of these podcasts are,
you have hard hitters, I mean really funny guys doing it.
You know what I mean, they get their YouTube money
and ads the way we do it, but it's essentially free
to the consumer.
Right.
You also have an extra thing to contend with,
which is people's attention spans.
That's another thing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's like everyone is sort of getting their entertainment
in very, very short form, little bursts on TikTok
or whatever, right?
And it really has sort of rewired our brain
to not be able to just sit and watch something anymore.
Yeah.
I also, I brought this up already,
but it's like, you know, I was at Floyd's,
but the Bob Dylan thing, and no one in Floyd's
knew who Bob Dylan was, the haircut place.
Mm-hmm.
You know what I mean?
On Magnolia?
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
You go to that one?
I record a ton of voiceover right next door.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, so that, I mean, and it's a great, I got a great haircut, thank you so much.
But it's like, no, no, no one in the building
knew who Bob Dylan is, which concerned me that like now,
what?
That's so weird.
That's what I'm saying.
But also, one of the most surreal celebrity sighting
I ever had was I was at the Quiznos
that used to be right there.
No, really. Now all the Quiznos are gone, where do they go? I know, it's such a tragedy. I knownos that used to be right there. No, really? Now all the Quiznos are gone.
Where did they go?
I know.
It's such a tragedy.
I know.
I used to like that place.
But I was in Quiznos before a voiceover session, like 10
or 15 years ago.
And Roger Waters was getting a sandwich.
That's like at Quiznos?
At Quiznos.
I swear to God it was him.
He must have just been like me.
You've been driving across town.
You're like, I got to eat something now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, how'd you know it was him. He must have just been like, you've been driving across town, you're like, I gotta eat something like now.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
How'd you know it was Roger Waters?
It just was him. I mean, like, I had no big point.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Let him deny it.
What? Did you say anything to him?
No, no.
Why?
Uh, I-
You're Haley J. Lawson.
I was just like, what would I say, you know?
Hi, my name is Haley.
I think I was too surprised, too surprised to have seen him there yeah and I was hoping that a third
person would take an incognito photo of the two of us at Quiznos. Oh really? I didn't have it.
I would plant someone so fast. What? I would plant someone call a homie just be like hey get over to the Quiznos.
Exactly. Yeah. I think that someone like Roger Waters, I would probably walk up to and go, can I get a selfie?
What are you, you've never done that?
But then what happens if he says no?
I don't think so, yeah.
And then now you're, you know,
you're very sensitive to rejection.
Let me get that.
I wouldn't let me, do you take photos with everybody?
Yeah.
You've never said no.
If they're like, if you're trying to get from a car into a building,
sometimes that's a time where you kind of have to keep moving.
But generally, yeah, I'll do it.
All right, so you're eating at a nice restaurant.
I come up, hey, I know you're eating.
You know what I mean?
With your family and your, is that your wife or whatever?
But anyway, can I get a selfie of you do it?
Yeah.
You've been at a restaurant?
Wow, you're one of those.
Yeah, the only reason I avoid doing it sometimes,
if it's in a place where to do it would cause,
you don't wanna attract too much attention in some places,
so that's sometimes where I do this or that,
but generally I'll do it.
Yeah, where did I do that once?
I did that at, I did it somewhere where, oh? I you know what I did it at a movie theater mmM
Because we were all coming out of a movie theater and and I'm gonna
I'm gonna say something that's gonna get me in trouble
But you know a lot of times
at the Uniform City Walk
It's a lot of Hispanics. Mm-hmm. You know I mean and
They love me.
That's your audience.
That's like this huge chunk of my audience.
Yeah.
So as, you know, you're going out of the dark theater
and a couple of, you know what I mean, nice kids,
hey dude, hey bro, and whatever, you know, I'm not,
I don't know.
Yeah, that's a.
Alex, don't get offended, all right?
We're like, hey fuck bro, you're the guy, whatever,
and I, you know, and they go, we do, I go, not right now.
Yeah.
Because we're all leaving, and I go,
dude, it's gonna be a thing.
Yeah.
A clusterfuck.
And the lobby of a movie theater is one place
where it's like, if you start doing that.
Attention.
That's gonna get it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
At Universal City Walk.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So that's the one time I haven't done it,
you know what I mean, in a long time,
you know what I mean?
But, if you were on a date.
Oh, you asked for more people to come.
No, no, no, that's so funny what you're trying to do.
What?
It's crafty, Filipino.
Based on my own life experiences?
Based on my own life experiences.
So, no, sorry, I love you.
No, I happened to be on a date.
Okay.
It was cooler to say, not right here.
I value this person's time and attention.
Yeah, that's what I was doing.
Take even a second away.
God, this guy get it.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh wow, you've changed.
Yeah, I have.
You've changed. Can I tell you, H. Yeah, I have. You've changed.
Can I tell you, Hailey, when we went on our first date.
You're gonna have to cut this out, I think.
I know.
I know.
It was 11, a long time ago, a decade ago.
We went to this tiny little area in Long Beach
and no one was recognizing him.
Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.
And I know he needed one.
No, no, no, no, no.
I know he needed one.
Haley, Haley, Haley, Haley, Haley, Haley, Haley.
Haley, just stop, stop, stop.
Can I just, can I interrupt, interrupt, right?
At that time in my career,
no one knew who the fuck I was.
Yes, you already had Mad TV.
You just were at the wrong place, the wrong shop.
So what I did was,
What I did was, I was like,
oh, what about that skate shop? Let's go into the skate shop because I what I did was, what I did was, I was like, oh, what about that skate shop?
Let's go into the skate shop, because I knew he needed one.
And you were like, yeah, the skate shop.
So we went in the skate shop, and some young kid finally
was like, oh, are you Bobby Lee?
And I know that it made you feel like, you know.
That's okay.
It gave you that.
That did not happen.
The first date?
I did, but it didn't.
It did, but it didn't, you know what I mean?
And you know, it's like these gross stories, you know what I mean?
They're not gross.
People don't like it. People don't like it.
Yeah, people don't like it.
So you're saying on a date you say no.
Sometimes it's cooler to say no. Anyway, yeah.
I'm just, no, I was just kind of riding on what he was saying,
it's like there was only one instance, because normally I do.
That's all I'm saying. You know what I mean? So what if Roger Waters was like
get out of my face? Oh here we go. Here we go. How would you approach? Oh how would I
approach him? You're... No, but I always have to be that guy. All right, all right I will. I'll have the steak. I just. I'll have the steak. I just.
I'll have the steak.
I just.
Excuse me, Mr. Waters?
Yes?
Excuse me, Mr. Waters?
Yes?
Excuse me, Mr. Waters?
Yes?
Excuse me, Mr. Waters?
Excuse me, Mr. Waters?
Excuse me, Mr. Waters?
Excuse me, Mr. Waters?
Excuse me, Mr. Waters?
Excuse me, Mr. Waters?
Excuse me, Mr. Waters?
Excuse me, Mr. Waters?
Excuse me, Mr. Waters?
Excuse me, Mr. Waters?
Excuse me, Mr. Waters?
Excuse me, Mr. Waters?
Excuse me, Mr. Waters? Excuse me, Mr. Waters? Excuse me, Mr. Waters? Excuse me, Mr. Waters? Excuse me, Mr. Waters? Excuse Yeah, yeah. It's a different voice. I heard it's his ordering voice.
And then his fan's voice.
I was expecting the egg, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh my God, so that was...
Yes.
Hi, you know, I'm sorry to bother you sir,
but like, you know, my father, he passed away
and his favorite band was Pink Floyd
and he, you know, growing up, Dark Side of the Moon
and Pipers of the Gitz of Dawn,
I mean all the albums really heavily influenced my childhood
and I have a strong connection to my dad,
you know what I mean, from your music
and I, can I please have a selfie?
Of course young man.
See, that's what would happen.
See?
That's what would happen.
That's sweet.
If I said like that?
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
My dad just died is a really great line.
Yeah, I'm crafty.
Yeah.
Because rejection, it can happen.
It cannot.
Because if it did, I'd have to burn all my albums.
We're correct.
Or not delete now.
Yeah.
You don't burn them anymore.
You don't, I would delete them.
It's a less dramatic gesture now.
Yeah.
That's it.
That's it.
Yeah, and you could always download it later God. You could always download it later.
Yeah, yeah.
Wow.
Do they used to burn albums?
No, probably not.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, they did it.
And it's so funny because that was,
God, it was a really important thing at a time
where you're discovering the music that you really like
when you're 12 or 13 years old.
Yeah.
And going through the trouble of,
I didn't rip a lot of music from the internet,
but I did a little Kaz lot of music from the internet,
but I did a little kazaar, like lime wire,
stuff like that.
And then you'd burn it on these CDRs,
and they had such a short lifespan.
The CDs just don't work anymore.
But I still have a little,
I would go to the trouble of printing out the track list,
and then putting them in a little, oh yeah.
The amount of trouble you used to have to go to
just to get a custom CD. little, oh yeah. The amount of trouble you used to have to go to just to get like a custom CD.
Wow, wow, wow.
If it was a corrupted file, but you spent like
all day downloading that one song.
Yeah.
It would be incomplete like the last 15 seconds
of the song, you're like, ugh.
And then sometimes they would get the artist wrong.
You would have to kind of guess like if one song
you really wanted wasn't on there,
you would have to guess what you think is the wrong artist.
Wow.
And you'd find the song that way. You would just have to put in the title versus the artist.
I think I had a Nirvana album, but the person had spelled it N-E-R-V-A.
Wow, wow, wow, wow.
The worst now is when you're on a date and she's like, I'm going to send you a playlist.
Oh yeah.
And it's 40 songs.
And then you're like, I got to listen to all these tracks.
That's a lot.
I'll send one song.
You will?
Yeah, like sometimes I'll text you,
like check out this new song I like.
Yeah.
A song is fair.
A whole playlist is like, that's abuse.
That's what they do now.
Yeah, I know.
And they make their, they title their playlist very specific.
So it's like 4 p.m. coffee thinking about you.
Right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
So Haley, last question.
Are you in a relationship?
Not right now, no.
Okay, single? Single. Do you do the
apps? No, never have. Wow. You never have? Never have. Why not? I don't know, just...
You would clean... Can I just... I'm very anti-apps. I'm not anti-apps. Can I pitch
it? Sure. May I pitch it? Pitch it. Okay. So this is my pitch.
I need actually props for this pitch.
You're reaching for like lotion.
I'm starting to feverishly jurgle.
Okay.
That's my pitch.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's my pitch.
I need props here, okay?
Yeah.
Okay.
So, can I use this as a prop as well?
Sure.
I won't touch it again.
But, this is you.
This is you where you live.
Okay?
And you know, we're a creature of habit.
Are we not?
Right?
So like, you know, if you look at my Postmates
or my Door Dash, I generally probably reorder
the same things over and over again.
You know what I mean?
I mix it up.
Sometimes it'll be a month, but I'll go,
oh yeah, but it's the same, you know, anyway.
So we're a creature of habits.
You leave your house, you go here, voiceover, right?
Sometimes, you know what I mean?
Oh, my friend's doing a show, I'm gonna check that,
you know what I mean?
Or coffee shop, I got a coffee shop, right?
But you're generally, right?
But these, in this route is all the women
you're gonna meet okay yeah but
fucking I shouldn't even done the props it doesn't matter
I was making a really valid point here. It was like Game of Thrones.
I was very serious.
Like family.
Here's King's Landing.
And here's.
Yeah, yeah.
My point being.
Dun, dun.
My point being is that, you know what I mean?
But the apps, what I found is it's everyone.
And there's got, there are really attractive, really cool girls on these, you know what
I mean, on these apps is all I'm saying.
I have a counter to that.
My counter is that people no longer know
what delayed gratification is.
And so if everything is at your fingertips,
including dating, like you said,
you've lost your adhesives, right?
Nothing feels special.
Even if you were to match, let's say for instance,
I was on Raya for a while and you match with someone
and you immediately feel
that dopamine hit of being like, oh, they like me back.
As soon as that's done, it's over.
I don't even wanna converse.
There's probably no interaction between me and that person.
And it sort of just takes away the specialness
of, I don't know, just kind of meeting someone,
things moving slower, and it's just all right there,
and they're all very hot.
He's not wrong about that.
Everyone is so fucking good looking on there.
But again, it's like, it doesn't, it's just,
oh, it's just a game.
It feels like Tetris to me.
Or any other game I play on my phone.
It does seem like generally just, you know,
anecdotally people are not feeling great about it so much like
after the years of it being like a very popular thing and nothing I mean I also
know people who've gotten married based on people that I've met on I mean we
met that way yeah we met on tinder but this is like the very like very beginning
of dating apps but I went back on it and it was just a miserable place for me for
me maybe not
for you but it just found nothing special about it at all.
I think you're right.
What do you mean?
I think you're right but to a degree you'd be mindful about it but I have also been on
some dates that have potential based on it is all I'm saying. And these people I haven't smashed, you know what I mean?
Ooh.
Ooh.
Fun words.
Yeah, that's a good choice, Hangeul.
Interesting choice.
Smashed?
Yeah, smashed.
The buttons or the person?
Is that what the, is that sex?
Oh yeah, we don't do smash.
We don't do smash, what's the, there's a new lingo?
Yeah. Hook up?
Hook up's cuter.
Boink?
No.
No.
I'm doing boink.
I like that.
I'm doing boink.
It's funny, I like that.
I'm doing boink.
Bump Ugly?
What?
Bump Ugly's?
Oh no.
No, no, no, no, no.
What?
Yeah, I've never even heard that before.
Me either.
Yeah, yeah.
You just made one up, Bump Ugly's?
No, Bump Ugly's is like very 90s.
It looks like a 90s Orange County band
So um
But boink so anyway, i've
I've met a couple of girls
You would boink on on on on dating app who updated maybe a couple of them for a couple of months now
We haven't had sex.
We're just going on dates, holding hands, stuff like that.
Okay?
So, you know, maybe, but you're not gonna do it.
I already can tell you not gonna do it.
I don't think so.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, your pitch wasn't that good.
But it is nice that if you do wanna meet someone,
the fact that it isn't, that you have to go out
into the world and make it happen.
But I mean, I don't think,
most of the relationships that I've had,
it was chance encounters with people in different places.
And that's always nice too,
because you're like, wow,
had I not shown up to that party at that moment,
I never would have even met this person.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But a lot of it is this, okay?
It's I'll meet a girl, right, in the wild is what I say.
I meet a girl in the wild, right?
And I'll look at them and I can't, you know what I mean?
Because like I, the rejection part, right?
It's like, you know, I don't know my angle in,
this and that, right?
But with dating apps, it's already a yes
in terms of like they like you, right?
So I mean, it just cuts that element out.
I do see where you're coming from
because you do have like a high level
of rejection sensitivity and-
You mean specifically?
You specifically.
Oh sure.
Yeah, and so it makes sense that you would need
the confirmation of someone saying,
hey I like you back before-
Because I get rejected by Hollywood.
Yeah.
You know how many nos I've gotten, right?
You've gotten probably nos, right?
And then with women too now, nos,
it's like, it's too much.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
I want like a little bit of an easy thing.
Ah.
You know, that's not, what?
Is that not?
Yeah, weird.
Cut that out too?
It's a way to say it.
Oh.
Okay, so I can't say, smash, easy thing,
I can't say fucking.
See what you're saying?
You mean, bumping, what did you say,
bumping nuggets or whatever?
Great restaurant.
Yeah, yeah, bumping nuggets is a beautiful restaurant.
Best nuggets, yeah.
What?
Like you want the easy thing?
It's just easier to know that they already like you
and then, you know what I mean?
I mean, no judgment.
People find...
Anyway.
Bounces out there.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Whatever, but I don't recommend.
Haley, so the movie is coming out.
Everyone check it out.
And you know what, honestly, dude, I had a blast.
Did you have fun?
Yeah, a lot of fun.
It was so easy.
Yeah.
The time went by so fast.
It really did.
It was so fun.
A lot of times when you do these things,
it's arduous and painstaking.
With yours, I already know it was good because the time
flew by and I could go do more.
You want to plug anything else?
Blink twice, August 23 in theaters.
Follow Haley Joel Osment on his Instagram handle.
Yes, hjosman at Instagram and Haley Joel Osmond on his Instagram. Yes, HJ Osmond at Instagram and Haley
Joel Osmond on Twitter. I actually have a short film premiering at the Toronto Film Festival that
was directed by Micah Monroe and Simone Farrow. That's gonna be really fun. Wow. Me and Maren
Henkel are the two actors in that. So that was one of the things we could, one of the few things
we were legally allowed to do in 2023. Oh, that's what during the strike. Oh that. So that was one of the things we could, one of the few things we were legally allowed to do in 2023 during the strike.
You were allowed to make short films.
You were.
Wow, so you did one.
Yeah, I did a couple.
Those are fun, you know what I mean?
Grueling, no pay, but it's fine.
I've done it, you know what I mean?
Give Haley a round of applause, everybody.
That was fucking amazing.
Thank you very much!