TigerBelly - Ike Barinholtz & The Yellow People
Episode Date: July 19, 2023Ike is 2000s behavior. Bobby is The King's Speech. Khalyla is floatin'. We chat knob stores, scissoring geishas, Lyft tales, Jordan Peele's secret, knowing Bobby's asshole. #IkeBobbyJordan Buy Live Sh...ow Tickets Here
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Tiger Belly is going live ladies and gentlemen and we are on tour once again
We did one show in LA. It was the most successful show. I've ever done. It's August 25th at the
Wing Spear Opera House in Dallas, Texas. There were also gonna be August 26th
We're gonna be at the ACL live at the Moody Theater in Austin, Texas.
August 31st we're gonna be at the Moore Theater, Seattle, Washington.
You guys, this is super interactive.
We bring audience members up on stage.
It's just a real good family night.
It's a game show.
And we can't wait to see you there.
You're gonna love it.
Go get tickets.
Go to www.TigerBellyLive.com. dot com
Yes, yes, Kazakhstan is like it is well, you know, you know the don't ever call them a Kazakhstan man Do people ever ask if you're happy? Yes. You look cosy. Yes. Cosy-Sthan.
He is.
Well, you know, do you know the...
Don't ever call him a cosy-Sthan man.
All right.
It's pretty easy.
Do you know the step theory?
Do you know about this...
The Angus-Comb theory?
Oh, yes, yes, yes.
That's a true thing.
And so when you look at...
There are Jews like me when you look at me.
You're like...
Are you like Thai or something?
A little bit.
And it's the step theory.
That's for this.
Pube Lycan, like fucking Winston-Town
on my great, great, great, great, great, great, great,
great brother.
And we did a sketch about that
on the little show called History of the World,
starring Bobby Lee.
Have we wrapped this up yet?
We're going to go.
We haven't even started.
Fucker.
Fucker.
Anyway, let me begin.
It's my show.
What is up with you today?
I just woke up. It's my show. I get to do what I want.
I was just on the picket line with Guy Stevenson.
Remember Guy, the writer on Mad TV, Guy,
who's a guy Steven. He was amazing.
He was a writer. Guy Stevenson was so tall.
Hey, by the way, can I just thank you for all the pickening
you've been doing at support.
I think it's great to see you out on the side.
Hey, can I say something right now?
I really appreciate it.
Oh, really?
That's interesting that you're saying that
because I do pick it.
No, you're picking.
I do pick it.
You're picking scab.
What?
And I pick it right, but not for the riders.
You're picking for the studios?
Yes.
Yes. Yes.
Yes.
Or I'm across the street, dude.
That's you, huh?
Yeah, I don't think you guys deserve any more.
He's long for his horn, but in support of the studio.
He's always felt like Netflix has hated him.
So this is his way of trying to.
Trying to get him with that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I always have this boogie man, you know,
that like there's a company,
there's every year there's a different company.
And then, you know, two years ago, it was HVL man, you know, there's a company, every year there's a different company and then you know two years ago it was HVLHMe.
It's always good to have a multi-billion dollar conglomerate.
I don't do one every year.
Oh man, a Walmart is on my ass.
Okay, anyway, I'm gonna start my show then.
All right.
People, people, all right? Beep, beep, beep. All right.
So here we go.
Hello.
Hello.
I'm Bob.
Hi, Bob.
It just woke up, but you know, I was six.
I'm a guy here.
Oh, my God.
He's, he's my friend.
I've been a free long time.
I love him so much.
You know, over the years, he's killing it. He's killing it. You do this for a long time. I love him so much. You know, over the years, he's killing it. He's killing it.
You do this for a living. So anyway, welcome to another episode of Tirebelly. Thank you. I
didn't say your name yet. Fuck. Sorry. Sorry. Okay. Don't ever talk until I say your name. This is my
first time on a podcast. Have you done any of them? I've never done a podcast before. You're doing great.
Thank you.
Let me know.
You're doing so good.
Let me know I'm doing it.
George, I'm gonna start, okay.
And I don't like your fucking vibe right now.
You're producer vibe.
Also, you're suits, dude.
When I think about it, dude.
They fucking suck.
You're nice dressed, calm, cool vibe.
You don't like that.
No, he now dresses like that 24-7, right?
Am I not correct?
24-7.
What is it doing for you? Nothing! No, it now dresses like that 24-7, right? Am I not correct? 24-7. What is it doing for you?
Nothing!
Anyway, no, in it for us to all be out of it.
He's wearing a fantastic suit.
He looks like he just got the Glen Gary Leads
from Glen Gary Grave Balls.
He's got to tell him, he's got to tell Al Pacino
to go fuck himself.
Grab friends.
Wait, you made me watch that.
I made you watch that.
What a great movie.
The Alec Ball, the one fucking monologue with the balls.
Set a steak knife.
Yeah.
One day I'm going to shoot a woman in the face.
I can't remember.
So any who I'm Bob, like I said, we have a guest on.
So many, many years ago, I was on a community service TV show, you know what I mean? Where it was like, you know, low budge, you know, up down,
up down, down up.
And I ran into, I worked with a lot of different kinds of people.
But this guy I worked with, he came, well, I was on it for a couple of years
and then him and Josh Myers, not the comic.
There's another comic named Josh Myers. But I made him change his name to Josh Myers. not the comic. There's another comic named Josh Myers.
But I made him change his name to Josh Myers.
Thank you.
Because I think that your Josh Myers,
our Josh Myers, is the legit Josh Myers.
I also think his middle name is also Adam.
You'll be real.
I don't think it's Adam.
So anyway, so this guy, he's from Chicago.
He's from Boom Chicago, he's from Second City, right?
And then we worked on that, I have five years together.
We were on there for five years.
Yeah, and I bear hold.
Thank you.
Thank you.
I bear hold.
One more time, I bear hold.
He's Kim Mother, I'm gonna play my real real quick.
And you got some deep cuts, HGMI 3 is gonna do it.
We were on there from 2002 to 2007 together.
My God, and I'm gonna say something.
I have some apologies that I have to do.
No.
Yeah, I'm going to.
You don't have to, but I want to.
To me.
Because I'll tell you why.
I've been thinking about some of my behaviors back in the day.
And I just want to just apologize.
Number one, I want to apologize for one day you and Nicole Parker were riding in Dick with
Suci's office, right? And he had some thumbs on his desk and I jammed in my
butthole. Yes. My butthole started forming. It was crazy. It was crazy. I know.
My butthole started forming. I shot out a couple of pellets, right? A little
poo came out and then Dick was mad,
but you laughed, but in my mind, I'm like,
I don't think that's the right behavior
when people are writing.
Am I not right?
I didn't.
Can we get a consensus in the room?
Yeah.
That's not gonna behave here.
That was funny.
Yeah, I was fine with it.
You're fine with it?
I was fine with it.
I remember you came to my dressing room one time and you literally were like, you were
like, I'm going to take a shit at your floor.
And I was like, don't, don't.
And you just fucking took a shit right in front of me.
And it was like very anti-climatic because I would clean it up.
You were like, you didn't have to get your knees in place.
But that's not normal behavior.
Well, no, it wasn't, it was,, hey, it was the 2000. George W.
I know.
Fuck was our president.
I know.
But it was, like, we were all, everyone was crazy then.
Like, any, every day we were there,
there was like 10 things happen that would have gotten people fired.
Oh, I know.
Oh, my God, yeah.
And then the last thing I wanted,
that's just the sketches.
The last thing I want to apologize about,
you, me and Jon, we're doing bent,
we had a promote, remember back then we had a promote
and went to Ben Gleib's talk show or something.
This idea, you know the apologize to me,
it's apologize to Mrs. Gleib.
Oh yeah, what happened, what happened?
I mean, again, these memories,
like, I'm almost like a Vietnam vet
that like, like, has just flashbacks of like the name.
You know?
But I do remember, like, we were promoting something
in Ben Gleib, who was a comedian.
Or he was a talk show, it was like a dude.
Yeah, a dude, a talk show that a dude, yeah.
And he had us on and he's like,
we're gonna do a fun bit.
I have this woman who's like a fortune teller.
Fortune teller, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And Josh and I knew was a bit
and we were just playing along with a bit.
And Bobby was like,
Bobby was like, this is fucking bullshit.
You're a liar.
I don't think everything you say is bullshit.
I'm not down with this.
Like he was so mean to.
Oh, so mean to her.
To this woman and then we found out it was,
it was Ben Gleib's mom.
Yeah, I was being mean to her. Oh, so mean to her. To this woman, and then we found out it was, it was Ben Gleib's mom. Yeah, I was being such a dick.
But also in the green room, I was doing weird things,
like I was stuffing stuff in my body.
Yeah.
And just weird stuff.
Why do you think you wanted to like sell?
Hey John, what's up?
You're my boy, huh?
For life.
I love it.
I have a question.
Like, why do you think you always wanted to do anal on yourself?
He's gay. Who said that?
Who said that?
I can't.
Why'd you see that?
Because I'm not.
I was just a gay.
I know about not.
You threw that out there.
You know, they clipped that.
You know what I mean?
I'm gay, literally.
Doesn't feel good.
I don't mind.
I'm supportive of the LG LG.
But it's weird because you don't let any fingers up there.
But why did you keep shoving shit up your ass when you were?
I think at the time, I didn't have the talent.
I don't sell your stuff.
I don't.
But in my mind, I'm like, oh, these guys can do impressions.
And they're like, and they can do like,
do you mean, so no one does a better Connie Chun
in this 50 United States than you?
I don't.
And you know, I mean, they can do characters.
And this is their thing, right? So in my mind, I'm like, I knew. I know. I mean, they can do characters, and this is their thing, right?
So in my mind, I'm like,
I'll just be weird.
Right?
That's part of it.
I think the other part was.
It really was.
The 2000s was like a very crazy decade,
where, first of all,
we were all, a lot of us were loaded a lot of the time.
Yeah.
Like there was a lot of draw,
like people were doing drugs a lot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But look at like people were drugs line. Yeah, yeah
But look at that look at that right there. I'm so hooked up there
I cut off my most adjordan peel, huh interesting
Cool guys, but I think at that time really it was comedy was like look at us. Oh my god
That's at the up front. Oh look at that Jesus craze. He's right. Oh my God. That's at the upfronts. Oh, look at that. Jesus Christ.
Jesus Christ.
Oh my God.
I look like Corey Hiddler.
Oh no.
Look at us back then.
I mean, we look like a boy band and our manager.
I'm the manager or a bike.
Oh, okay.
I don't want to be the man.
He's like our manager that will go to jail
for like sex abuse.
But that 2000s, don't you to be the manager. He's like our manager that will go to jail for like sex abuse.
But that 2000s, don't you feel like everyone back then
was like in the 2000s, like, look at my dick hole.
Yeah, yeah.
How many it was like, you know what I mean?
It was just so gross, which I loved.
I was a huge fan of it.
I still am.
I showed my dick hole to a couple people this morning.
But I think at that time,
it was just everyone was like crazy.
We're just like, people were just nuts.
Yeah, yeah.
And I find myself apologizing people.
Like, you know, Flannigan, I farted in her mouth.
That one, again, you never have to apologize to me.
There was never a day where I was driving home.
I was like, fuck Bobby.
Yeah, yeah.
But like, Flannigan, I get that.
That's a good one.
Yeah, that was tough, yeah.
He farted and I saw her hair move.
Oh my God.
Literally, I saw the wind from his.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yes.
I've seen, if you right now, the lights went on the studio
and you just put a sharpie in my hand,
I could draw your asshole.
Every, really?
Every lip.
Thank you.
He muscled.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
I love it. And then I wasn't gonna talk you, thank you, thank you. I love it.
And then I wasn't gonna talk.
There was one sketch that you and I did.
We did several of them.
And I remember like, they never did well.
In fact, they always bombed.
They bombed and I remember one time we did one take.
So we did in front of a live audience.
The knobs?
No.
So this, okay, you ready?
I can remember a high concept.
I did a spiger right here.
This is, this is gonna take a,
I really allow your brain to try.
I think I said, yeah.
Two sub mental creatins working a knobs store.
We sell, like a doorknob?
Yes.
It was sell doorknob.
Yes.
That's the whole fucking sketch.
And like two girls would come in
and we'd be like, do you want a knob?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But the bit was, you and I would tell jokes,
like pranks, I did what impressions.
Yeah, like we use impressions to be like,
like it's me, Johnny Carson, cheerleaders,
should we call her?
Yeah, terrible.
And then they would always cut back to flashbacks.
Like two girls would walk in, we do a flashback
of what we thought should happen.
Oh, this actually made it.
Yeah, there it is.
Yeah, there it is.
I got the tonight show.
Hello, hello.
Is this the tonight show with Daila No?
Yes.
My friend does impressions and I make phone calls
and we'd love to be on your show.
Hello.
Hello.
He hung up again.
What?
What was that?
Homer's past 18 years and it's still fresh.
Nubs.
Do we sell nubs?
You know we're all out.
You want to talk to the manager?
Okay.
That's your nest.
Mr. P. Ness.
Can you say the name back to me?
No.
Yeah? Well, you almost said penis.
All right, so.
If we watch any more, I will kill.
I will do. I will do.
I was right, that sketch is a much funnier than I remember.
The writers always thought our sketches were hilarious.
Sometimes the crowd was kind of like.
So we did one time, we did a knobs, one run through in front of an audit.
It was so silent that when the sketch was done, I can I collapse the ground.
I was trying to scratch through the, like during the Blitzkrieg when bombs were dropped,
people were trying to scratch through the floor.
It was so bad, but we laughed.
Yeah, we're like, oh my god,
but I'm gonna tell you the hardest I've ever laughed with you
is we did the gaysha sketch.
Connie Chung falling backwards.
No, no, it was the,
oh memories of the gaysha.
You played back then, they were like, the, Oh, memories of the past. Members of the vacation.
You played back then, they were like,
Oh, I could play an Asian guy.
Wait, they get that, they get that.
He raised his hand and balled.
No, I mean, there was little other Asian dudes
in the past.
I was like, look at his eyes.
It was me and then a distant third was Frank Caliando.
Right.
Right.
And so, we did the gays,
and then we had this one scene where he's a guy,
I'm the, a gaysha. Yeah. this one scene where he's a guy I'm the Gaysha
Yeah, and we're doing like we're scissoring
What is this another movie this was a movie memory
Hoka but this time she's Asia
I'm looking for the Asia
I'm looking for the Oh no
Oh no, I'm already in Japan
You, you are the most beautiful
What the...
What, what do you guess the eye?
Oh no
A true geisha can stop a man with one look
Rosayori must try again.
No, strike two. Eat, have.
Oh my god.
Oh.
All right, what's wrong?
Can you believe that one, a Kennedy Center honor?
That is amazing. It did the whole, They gave that sketch the honor that year.
So you and I were sizzling, right?
And we were laughing so hard.
And obviously never made it into the sketch.
I just remember the joy of that.
I remember when we were doing a survivor sketch.
And you were playing, got it, John.
It's like,
I think Jeff Prope was actually on the show, right?
And you guys are like sitting around like the logs
with the firey, you know, and you said something,
and I remember like they go,
how do you know when you go,
ancient Chinese secret, and you bow and back, back up,
and you fall, And you roll over.
And you stand up and then afterwards you go,
I took a shit at my skirt with an app.
I actually shined a little bit at my skirt when I fell.
What's going on?
Ancient Chinese secret for Johnny Chum.
It's Korean.
Wait, what?
Um, was that live or was it?
That was a live one, baby. What are your memories of it, what? Was that live or a piece of it? That was a live one, baby.
What are your memories of it, though?
I mean, do you look back on it and you're like,
in a positive way or?
Yeah, I think, yeah, more or less.
Yes, at this point now, I do.
I was, they let me go.
Like, I did five years and then I was expecting
to come back and I'm so embarrassing
I remember like I was with my wife on like a little vacation. I was like I said to her like if they don't pay me
You know X amount of dollars. I'm not coming back and my manager called me go so there offers nothing
Oh, and so I was they like what yeah, I did not even know that yeah
They brought everyone else back. I think they knew the show was over
because you guys did another year at the time.
Oh, yeah, oh my God.
And that was a grim year.
I think it was when they were circling the drain
a little bit and I figured they were like,
we don't need him, but I was sad because you and Jordan
and Kiegen were still there.
Yeah.
And so I was bummed and then when I was there,
like I wish I could go back now and say to myself,
like don't stress about this. Like I remember being stressed because I was there, I wish I could go back now and say to myself, don't stress about this.
Like, I remember being stressed because I was like,
this could be the best sketch show on TV.
I felt like I was in Aaron Sorkin's show where I was like,
God damn it, it's important to me.
You know what I mean?
This sketch where I'm playing the dad on Frasier,
it's important to me.
And so I remembered just just being like frustrated.
I was always like we should not be trying to be like SNL.
And like SNL at that time was,
I think the best SNL ever.
It was a great best.
Well, Farrell and Amy Poler and Bill Hader and Tina Feyn.
It was just like the best ever.
And so us trying to like have guests,
most of our guests were kind of like,
I mean, we would have,
I mean, the earlier years we'd get like,
like Ryan Reynolds did it.
Yeah, but it was Ryan Reynolds like 10 years
before Deadpool came out.
I know, I know, I know.
And I remember he was so cool and nice.
Yeah, it was awesome, he did it.
And I thought it was cool, but it was like, at the time.
Yeah, we would be like,
oh, we're getting this wrestler
who's kind of popular right now, and then SNL would be like,
oh, there's a sketch where like Paul McCartney
is like blowing Steve Martin.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, it's like, what are we doing?
Like, why are we playing a game?
I always thought.
But it was still like, I should have just let,
let go, let go and let God is what I,
yeah.
But it didn't shy. It was very like,
we need to be working harder and doing better sketches.
These sketches are bad.
So I should have just shut the fuck up.
Did you feel that,
because I remember like after Mad was over,
I would see you at auditions and stuff, right?
And we would like be so happy to see each other.
But I felt that the last,
I mean, the first five years of leaving mad was pretty grim for me
It was a three years from me about three and a half years and it was the worst time I had in LA in Hollywood
Yeah, because first of all I was like well mad TV's over. I'll just get my own pilot
And like people were like oh no, we hate you
We don't fucking give a shit about you. Yeah, it was actually an embarrassing thing.
People would go, oh, he's from MTV.
Like it was a negative.
At the time, yes.
Yes.
No, not learned.
Is that younger people, I think,
do have more of appreciation for it.
Like, I don't know.
This might be anecdotal.
No, dude, I'm gonna Canada.
I'm gonna Canada.
I'm Elvis.
Dude, I am. They love, I am, they love it.
They love it.
If I go to like Magic Mountain, I am Taylor Swift.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I am fucking Taylor Swift, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And I always love, oh my God, I told,
I think I told you guys this story of how,
there was a guy you guys were like shooting with,
who's like a wrestler, who's a comic,
Brendan Shaw, Brendan Shaw. A wrestler. Yeah wrestler who's a comic. Brendan Schalb.
Brendan Schalb.
A wrestler.
Yeah, he's a fighter.
A fighter fighter.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And I had never heard of any of this,
but a live driver, I took this live driver one night,
paid me up.
It's funny.
Funny as soon as I've ever met my life.
I get and he's like,
what's something,
like doing that, like holding shit,
I can't believe it.
So I was like, oh, what's up, man?
He's like, yo, yo, I was raised, I'm at TV. I was like, I was like, I was raised on that TV.
I was fucking raised.
I was fucking super excited about my TV.
So we're driving.
He pulls out what I thought was like a flute at first.
And I realized it was a fucking vape gun.
He fucking filled the car.
He took a hit and rolled down the window, but blew it in the car. Yeah, he took a hit and rolled on the window, but blew it like in the car.
And it was like, it was like if someone ate like a thousand raspberries.
He took a shit and he's like, yo, you know what's going on with Bobby Lee?
And I was like, no, it's a, oh man.
He's in this fucking fight with this guy.
And he was telling me the story in pieces.
He's like, and this guy, man, this guy accused him
of fucking lying.
And this guy,
he's telling me this story like,
while he's going like 70 down to residential neighborhood
and he's not using the rear view mirror,
and this guy's not even real comic.
I mean, he's not a comic.
He became a comic about five years ago
because he was like, Joe Rogan got it.
He's like, you like Joe Rogan?
I was like, I don't know, I don't know. He's like, you like Joe Rogan? I was like, I don't know enough.
He's like, yeah, well Bobby leading him.
He was a fucking body.
And he's gonna go on a show.
It was like this guy getting this fucking, it was amazing.
I saw you guys shortly afterwards.
I saw you at the premiere of Noop.
I think I saw it.
That's great.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
When I saw you then, we're watching.
I just, I mean, when I saw you then, we were watching.
I just, I mean, how proud of you. I mean, I looked at Jordan, I was like,
I can't fucking believe it, it's amazing.
I believe it, but it's just like there's a pro,
that was a great movie.
That was a good night, man.
Yeah, because he is, I mean, I remember he was a man.
I don't think I'm talking out of school,
and he was a little frustrated when we were on Madden.
No, because he did our podcast, he talked about it.
He talked about it.
Yeah, he was definitely frustrated and done being there.
And then like since he left there, like he does like,
one of the best sketch comedy shows in the world.
He is, in my opinion, like top five sketch actors
of all time.
Like he does not give enough fucking credit.
Yeah.
He is like next level.
But when Kegan and him would like,
they didn't table with, they would put the tables
to the side and they would perform sketches live.
Yeah, I was watching.
And then you were in your head,
you're like, oh, this is gonna get picked up.
Yeah, I'm gonna crush it.
Yeah, and then he stops that and then becomes like
one of the seminal filmmakers of our generation.
It's really amazing. He's the best.
You know, he, I've never talked about this before.
I want to talk about what he told me after the note, at the note prayer, at the,
did he, did he tell you about this about?
Because we're in the scene where the monkey is on the set of the sitcom.
sitcom and he's killing everybody.
Yeah.
Well, you know where he shot that, right?
Where we shot Matt TV. No way yeah, and he goes
I'm the monkey
And I go okay, and he goes okay, you're the little boy
I had to kill you. Yeah, it's your hiding no, I know I gave you a pound remember right
He goes you really so who am I one of the gaffers?
Fucking face torn off by an innocent,
thanks, Jordan.
But when he told me that I was like, wow,
you know, like he put that in because he had so much anger.
Yeah, at mad, right?
And he put it in a scene.
I didn't even, I'm so stupid.
I just, I was like, this is scary, see.
I don't find meaning.
I don't know.
That scene was pretty don't find meaning. I don't know. That scene was pretty.
Pretty brutal.
The scene where they fucking get sucked up into the thing.
I was like, I was nightmare zone for me.
You know I met up to after party.
Corey Feldman.
That's right, because he's not doing anything.
He was in a row.
Yeah.
I came to the last time I asked him
when to take a picture.
Corey Feldman, I was like, fuck, man. That's a big one. Did you see us? Oh, he was so the last time I asked him when to take a picture. Cory Fulman, I was like, fuck man, that's a big one.
Did you see us?
Oh, he was so nice.
Oh cool.
So small.
I know.
He was like a little child.
And he busted a couple of Michael Jackson moves.
Woohoo.
Yeah.
That's right, I do remember.
I remember sitting next to me was Riz Ahmed.
Yeah.
I could not focus the whole time,
because like the night of is like one of my favorite shows.
Oh yeah, he was good on that shit.
But how does Cory feel to make money?
Residuals from Los Boys?
Camille?
Oh, Camille.
Maybe.
I don't know.
You never did Camille, did you?
I've never gone on it, but I've ordered many Camille.
I don't want to go on the app and, have they asked you?
Yeah, they actually texted me.
Yeah, they texted me.
And I was like, I don't like that.
But I love you.
Who have you ordered from?
I got Mindy Kaling for her birthday.
I got her Anthony Scaremucci.
Remember that guy?
Oh yeah.
He was like, hey Mindy, it's me.
You have to scare Mucci.
He was from being in the White House 18 days.
Anyways, here's my kids.
He turned the camera over and it was like his kids like,
he'd put it in the back. I was like, whoa, that's one.
But Rob Legoyevitch, who is a government villain,
most are like, out.
Ozzy Giannis, named one of baseball fan in here.
He was a manager for the White Suck.
He's really funny.
He's like, he's just, he sends you a nice message
when he's on like his 50th beer.
Oh, Alan Mann, your family loves you man.
It loves you so much.
Who did you get?
Oh, Doctor Now from my 600 pound line.
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Yeah, I like that.
I like that one.
I want to talk about the three year and a half years.
Oh, suck.
But then what happened?
Well, that three years I was just not getting any.
The only movies, the only work I was getting
were like, I did some of those spoof movies.
Oh, that's right, you did like,
the one with the Cole Parker.
Oh, right, right.
Which one was that one?
I did like, a lot of them.
I'm like, I'm like John Tertoro to their cone brother.
Yeah.
Meet the Spartans.
Yeah, that's right.
Which was like a parody of 300,
which is already a, like a bad, disaster movie.
That's right.
Which I started with one Kim Kardashian.
Yeah.
And oh my God, oh my God.
There was one that was like, it was a parody of the Twilight.
Oh yeah, I remember that.
Vampire.
Vampire suck.
You're like, hey, do you want to play Taylor Lautner's father?
I was like, only if he's a Native American man in a wheelchair.
But when you're doing those, you go, okay, well, I'm in the game.
Still, you know, not even in the game.
I was out of the game.
They were kind enough to hire me and, and, uh, uh, uh, pay me, um,
but I wasn't getting anything that I really wanted.
And so I was really writing a lot then my part, you remember Dave Stassen.
I love him.
Very handsome Dave Stassen.
He was my partner and we were started writing and we, we eventually sold the movie.
We sold this movie as a spec and it's called Central Intelligence, which ended up getting made with Kevin Hart and the movie. We sold this movie as a spec, and it's called Central Intelligence,
which ended up getting made with Kevin Hart in the rock.
Wow.
But we were just like, I'm just gonna be a writer.
Now, just that's my thing, I'm a writer.
You were always so nice, you're always like,
you should do stand up, and I was like,
I can't, I'm not gonna do stand up,
but I was just like, I'm gonna just be a writer full time.
And then I got cast on Eastbound and Dan.
That's what it, that's what it was.
I was like, I had him actually.
Ever since then, you were just,
boom, boom.
I mean, yeah, you know, whatever.
Fits and stops.
Fits and starts.
What is the term?
Fits and starts?
Starts and fits?
I don't know.
George, I can't believe you don't know that.
Why are you looking at him?
He's wearing a suit.
He's wearing a suit.
And he's like, yeah.
He's wearing a suit.
He's like,
I'm a fucking suit. Yeah.
What's Fitts and Stars to me, man?
What's Fitts and Stars?
I think it's Fitts and Stars.
It is Fitts and Stars.
Yeah, yeah.
Thank you.
You feel, I mean, that's, everyone feels that.
Yeah, that's the thing.
Everyone has business.
Brad Pitt is like, what are you fucking me, Tom Hanks
got to part like every way?
Yeah.
But, but, Eastbound was the first time that it was,
it was a show that I was a huge diehard fan of.
And they really let me go crazy.
You put that Russian guy, right?
Yeah, yeah, that was really good.
I remember watching those all,
and it was season three.
Season three, so fun, so fun.
And, uh, and after that, I think, you know,
kind of from there, it was a kind of a short walk to me.
Shout out to Alison Jones.
Oh my God.
Dude, without her, everyone listening.
Without Alison Jones, I would have done everything I've ever done was through her.
No, you would be working at like a skateboard shop.
I know.
Uh, yeah.
You like bored to love it.
Yeah, I would love to help you.
I just shredded my MCL last week.
So she's like, to probably the best guy.
The best, she's so great.
Yeah, yeah.
She's casting director.
She put me on there and she's put you in a ton of shit.
And she's the greatest.
Yeah, she's great.
But Danny was nice.
And I think Danny was like, this guy is funny.
And then people, if you know how it is, if someone is funny
and they say this person's funny,
then people start to think maybe they're funny.
Right.
And then you did the Mindy?
And then I did Mindy from there.
Yeah, but you were a writer and actor in it.
Yeah, she hired me to be a writer,
but then early on, she's like,
maybe you could be a part of the show.
And I was like, I'll just be some like a janitor
who made me just got a pedophile or something.
And she wrote this great part
for me. And again, she was like so great because every, I don't know about you, did you
test a lot? I fucking, for those you don't know when you audition for a thing, usually
you audition for the casting director. And if they like you, they send you to the producers
and the producers like you, they're like, we're gonna test you, and they make your deal
then and there, and you're locked in.
And then you...
It's one of the most stressful human experiences.
It is.
For me, that you could only, I mean, it's like,
you have to go in, like sometimes you
would have to go into the president's office.
Oh my God.
Right.
And you're just, you and three people, and you go,
oh, if I fuck this up, it's, I'm out.
It's a level of stress
that only like the most elite Marines go through.
So, I mean, yeah.
I don't want to steal a valid here,
but I do, I do board planes early.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I tell people I'm a veteran of the network voice.
Yeah.
But so hard, it's so hard.
Then you go to, you test for the studio
and then if they like you, you go to the network.
And sometimes like Bobby said,
that will be like a, like, just a woman's office
with like four other people who are told that they laugh.
They will be fired.
And you have to like, swattily go in there and fucking.
They never laugh.
They never.
They don't know what laughter is.
No, it's so stressful.
They're just standing, they sit there like this,
and the whole time you're going,
I just lose it.
Like you're trying to be in the scene and be grounded
and you're trying to listen, but it's like.
But why aren't they just submitting to the experience?
Like what is that whole thing of like trying to keep poker face
when there's talent in front of you?
I don't know, I don't know if it's a power trippy thing.
It's a power trippy thing, I think it is. It's so gross. Yeah, and I don't know. I don't know if it's a power trippy thing. It's a power trippy thing, I think it is.
It's so gross.
Yeah, and I don't know.
I don't know the answer to that,
but it was very stressful,
and I never ever made it past the network test.
I never once did.
I'm talking I tested 30 times.
Wow.
For every level of show,
and never got hired, and it's depressing.
I'm Mindy Kaling.
God bless her.
Basically, a set to the network, set to Fox.
It's like, he's the guy.
We're not testing anyone.
You got to, she muscled them.
Well, I mean, that's essentially how I got anything
was like, I would have Scott Armstrong go, you know what?
I know that was a terrible audition.
He didn't read any of the lines.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I remember one time I stand up. One time she dragged me to an audition. I know that was a terrible audition, but... He didn't read any of the lines. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I remember one time I stand up.
One time she dragged me to an audition.
By his...
By my hair.
I'm about to get it!
He's like, I'm gonna bomb us.
Like, go fucking bomb that.
I don't care.
Just do something.
Go in.
Right, and I didn't even read it.
He read it off the page.
So I walked in there.
Right, and there was, you know how you go in?
It was like early on, so there's like 30 people you know.
We were fighting in the parking lot.
We were almost just fighting.
Yeah.
And I really picked up the thing.
I walked in there with, didn't even see my face.
And I was like, I don't know, I just said the lines.
I guess it was the movie The King's Speech.
Yeah, I got it.
That was me, that was me, dude.
Yeah.
And after I was done, I crumbled it up.
I got later and I left.
And I ended up getting.
And he cussed me out.
He was like, fuck you, that was fucking the worst.
You made me fucking, you bitch.
Yeah, yeah, I got bitch.
That was fucking PTSD trauma bitch, right?
And the casting people were like, listen,
his audition was bad, but we heard him yelling at his car.
And he has the perfect amount of anger to play dead bungee.
And then that day, they called they go, they're gonna test you.
But they go, can you read the script?
So I go, oh, I read it.
And then that Monday I test and I got it.
You remember, I didn't get picked up.
I remember getting it.
Ooh, I was floating.
I was just, oh, I forgot.
What, I mean, the reason why I stayed in the game
was because of her because she,
there was a point where I was just like,
I like that it was really wake him up and drive him.
Right.
But I was like, I'm no one's hiring me.
So were you like, was this like an existential thing
about like the business at large
or were you dumb with standup too?
No, no, standup was still there,
but I just kind of-
This is scared of auditioning.
I was just scared because it's like,
I, you know, you go on so many,
and it gets to a point where it's like,
oh, it doesn't matter what I do in there,
because sometimes I would crush and go, oh my God,
that I like, and then I would be, you know, me,
we put a pin in you, or one of those kind of,
the language that they use, you go,
oh, what does that mean?
It means you didn't get shit.
Right, right, yeah.
That means it doesn't.
There's some people.
Remember when we didn't know where they were like,
oh, let's put a pin, and we thought that was a good thing.
We were like, oh, I think he's in the running.
Yeah, well, I think it does mean you're in the running.
No, but no one gets it.
It's like, we're putting a pin in you.
Yeah.
We have a list of about 30 people.
And if all of them die in a plane crash,
what does it mean though? We'll come back to you. We'll back means like it means it's basically their way of being like don't book anything else
Well, yeah, yeah, I remember I went in for audition one time for the Steve Jobs movie
Whoa, right?
And I was shooting something at the time and they sent me the audition like it's Monday and it's for the director Danny Boyle
Where my favorite director,
I'm a gay boy.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm a gay boy.
I'm a gay boy, yeah.
I'm a gay boy, yeah.
I'm a gay boy, yeah.
I'm a gay boy, yeah.
I'm a gay boy, yeah.
I'm a gay boy, yeah.
I'm a gay boy, yeah.
I'm a gay boy, yeah.
I'm a gay boy, yeah.
I'm a gay boy, yeah.
I'm a gay boy, yeah.
I'm a gay boy, yeah.
I'm a gay boy, yeah.
I'm a gay boy, yeah.
I'm a gay boy, yeah.
I'm a gay boy, yeah.
I'm a gay boy, yeah.
I'm a gay boy, yeah.
I'm a gay boy, yeah. I'm a gay boy, yeah. I'm a gay boy, yeah. I'm a you have, with the Aaron Sorkin script,
you have to do it word for word.
They tell you that.
They're like, you gotta do it word for word.
And they're like, if you can be off book,
I'll say, be off book.
Suck my dick.
Like, like, like, fuck, no, I'm not gonna be off book
for a 10 page thing from what I'm not gonna get.
I'm just gonna go in.
I'm gonna coast on my natural charm.
And I'm just gonna kind of bullshit through it.
And I go in and I'm reading with Aaron Sorkin.
And I-
Wait, slow down.
Yeah.
Was he nice?
Um, not, not, no.
Danny Boyle was really nice.
Yeah.
Danny Boyle was like-
At out.
He was like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You're really, really stupid.
Have you read, have you ever read the Walter Azix
and book about jobs? And I'm like, yes, yeah, yeah, you're really, really committed. Have you read the Walter Azix and book about jobs?
And I'm like, yes.
I had read a book in like three years and a half.
I was like, oh, yeah, of course.
He's like, oh, so then you know what I'm trying to go for.
It's the kind of eternal dynamics between him and the daughter.
The daughter we want to recognize.
And I was just like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then Sorkin walks up and I, of course, make a joke.
I'm like, so we're just gonna riff, right?
He goes, yeah.
And yeah, he's not, I don't think he's famously a friendly guy.
I don't think I know.
Danny Boyles wore my Rish.
There is not warm.
Anyways, whatever, it doesn't matter.
Cause like, 50 seconds into reading it.
I start sweating.
The most I have ever.
Like it's cascading, it's off my back,
it's running in my butt cheeks,
my balls are sweating, I'm like flops.
It was like, I almost want to stop and go,
can we just stop?
I'm just fucking leave, I like sweating my way through it.
And it was, you were not booked, you read it off the page.
You were cold read it.
Cold read it off the page.
But doing that thing where I'm like,
I only look up when there's a period.
Yeah.
You can't process that.
We've never had the 11-4 Team G.S.
I don't care what you say.
This is my deal, and you can't afford to join it.
It's like you fucking stonk shit acting.
Yeah, yeah, fucks.
And then that drive home is.
The drive home is just like like fuck it, fuck everyone.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's, I don't do it a lot anymore just because A,
I feel like anything that they're asking me
to audition for, I'm not gonna get it.
Oh, right.
You know what I mean?
Like if they see me and they're like,
we need an awkward man who might be Ukrainian.
Yeah.
But if they, if they're like my agents recently,
we're like, hey, we want you to go out to be
the lead villain in a massive new superhero movie.
And I was like, no.
Like I appreciate you, this is what I want, but like,
yeah, you don't think you're gonna get it.
Literally like, point, oh, I will go to the moon first.
Like, they, I I know but let me
can ask you this though yeah why don't because this is and when when my
agents go you know I mean you're probably not gonna get it but they might if
you do well they might there might be a smaller part in there what about that
but then it's gonna be like I'm just gonna end up playing like some cock who's begging for his life Please don't kill me Aquaman
It's never it's always gonna be the comedy guy right right right right. No, I'm sorry
Fuck
Yeah, sorry, which way's the city God?
I said, I got you, no, no, please don't, no, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Right, yeah, so you, well, I mean,
at the end of the day, it's like,
I think it's changed where it's like,
for me, the last three jobs I've had were just,
they just called.
Yeah, that's the fucking best.
It's the best.
Yeah, you wanna do this?
I'm like, I'll do it.
Sir Jessica Parker calls you, she's like,
hey, no, but that's my best friend.
That's what he did.
And he goes, he goes, please do it.
Because at first I said no.
That's because I got,
I don't know what you're doing.
You never want, you never really want you to watch it.
I never saw it.
It was, you never saw the show,
but I don't know what you did at parody or at a fancy beach.
You're talking about that, did you?
Were you just talking about Jessica Parker?
No, we had a man play you at our version.
Did I really?
I don't think I was in that sketch.
I remember we did a sketch of it.
We cast a mother fucking linebacker to play her.
Which I was like, again, I would say we cast.
Game, these they cast.
I didn't do shit.
I love you Sarah Jessica.
I would love to be a love interest on, uh, here we go.
Maybe, maybe, maybe we weren't in it.
Sluts in the city, really nice.
Yeah.
Right.
Oh, this is Nikki Sullivan, the funny.
Oh, what was it?
Michael McDonald?
Yeah, it's Michael McDonald.
Was that Michael McDonald?
Is it?
Yeah.
Yeah, it's Mike Alex Steph and anyways.
Well, I remember, like, this is how little I know about it.
We did one scene where I was like, um,
the MPK cotton, he goes, why do you keep calling her Connie?
I go, what is it, Carrie?
No.
Yeah.
And then, like, they're trying to laugh it off.
Or something.
And I was like, oh, fuck.
What's going on?
No, that's the thing I know anything about what is Carrie's last name?
Bratcha, I think there we go right well because I've been yelled at you
They pull me aside Carrie Bratcha
Who are the girls? Can I hold on? Oh, I don't okay? They are all the girls
Fuck
Carrie Bratcha, can you give the like the such a such a Savannah. What is it? Give it to me.
Kim Catrell's character. Okay. I know, but what's her some
some some some math. Okay. And then redhead. Redheads. You
went rant for governor. Cynthia Nixon. Cynthia Nixon. Yeah, I
luches so sweet. I don't know this one either by the way.
With an M. Oh, I'm Meredith a rant for governor, Cynthia Nixon. Cynthia Nixon, yeah, I'd like you so sweet. I don't know this one either, by the way. Yeah, you're in the other day. With an M.
Oh, I'm Meredith.
Mer.
Murphy Grant, per Murphy Grant.
When a cop arrest you, he reads you these rights.
Yeah, yeah.
What is it?
When a cop arrest you, he reads you these rights.
Evidated.
No, I'm not.
Evidated.
Evidated.
I'm not gonna have a David.
I'm not gonna have a David.
I'm not gonna have a David.
I'm not gonna have a David.
I'm not gonna have a David.
I'm not gonna have a David.
I'm not gonna have a David. I'm not gonna have a David. I'm not gonna have a David. I'm not gonna have a David. I'm not gonna, on the pressure, an apple. And the runner, can I have a green lawyer?
An apple, an apple, David.
Oh my God.
An apple, David.
Miranda, Miranda, Miranda.
Miranda, the last one is, is, I don't know.
I have no idea, I have no idea.
What's her name?
The Dark-Cared one.
I can see her thing. I don't know, but let me just think. Which looks like someone who airs, Aries. I have no idea. What's her name? The Dark-Hered one. I forgot her name.
I can see her thing.
I don't know.
Which is what likes the one who airs up Mary's.
I don't wanna play anymore.
Hey, I just realized, Carrie Bradshaw
is really close to Terry Bradshaw.
Yeah.
Is that, do they have jokes about that or people like?
Oh, my parents are big Steelers fans.
I don't know.
I just go bad by it.
You know, they're so super sweet.
So, right.
And I know it's iconic thing. So I just, I mean, I know my know. I just go bad by, you know, they're so super sweet. So, right. And I know it's iconic thing.
So I just, I mean, I know my lines.
Yeah.
So I show up, I'm nice, you know, whatever, you know.
Have you, can I ask you a question?
What if you had to do a sexy on that show?
Would you mean?
Yeah.
I'll kill it.
Yeah.
I would do case scenes.
Yeah.
Yeah, I would, you know, you would.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
If it was a great movie, you know, I mean, you never, you would. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If it was a great movie, you know,
I mean, even if a guy had his iPhone and a car.
Okay, let's suppose both of you guys were
cast in like HBO's Idol.
Okay, and we had a sexy, you know.
And I, so here's what it, here's what it is.
Yeah, you are Johnny Depp's daughter.
You are this unit?
Yeah, but it's not.
It's not.
This is not, we're gonna take it out of the music realm.
Okay.
This is straight up in the standup realm.
Okay.
I am the weakened, and I am the hottest new comedy manager.
Okay.
And I see you one night.
Yeah.
Okay.
And you're doing your set.
Can I change my name?
Okay, I create a name.
Yeah, what's your name?
I think you should be Aphidavit Cho.
Aphidavit Cho.
Yeah, Aphidavit Cho. What do's to be Aphidavit Cho. Aphidavit Cho. Yeah, Aphidavit Cho.
What do you think?
Aphidavit Cho.
Yeah.
So I've just watched you crush and this is me coming to you backstage.
Oh, we're acting?
We're going to act out right now.
All right.
I'm going to edge some of my act.
Do the last joke.
I don't have time for this.
Do the last joke.
Well, no, I mean, I don't want to do it based on your thing.
You're putting pressure on it.
Do like your last joke and then thank you everyone.
Yeah, and that's why Remington Steel is a hatchet man.
Woo!
Yeah.
After David!
Yeah, the night.
I get, oh man, what a set.
Hey.
Hey, what's up?
Hey, how you doing?
Why are you whispering?
Cuz I'm sexy managing. Oh shit. My bad dude. What's how'd you get back here? I know everyone I have friends everywhere. Oh really? Listen, I think you could be the number one stand up in the world. Hey, should I whisper to you? I just want you to do me a favor.
Suck your dick. I want you to something.
Okay, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna eat your fucking ass. It's a 69 level of ass. How do you do that?
You're gonna something?
I know.
I'm just gonna crane my neck a little bit.
It's a short distance between a dick and a ass.
Wow, so you can contort your neck that way?
That's cool.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's amazing.
Next thing I want to hear you say is, oh.
So this is what you're imagining.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So now we're gonna do this.
I'm gonna do this.
I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna do this. Yeah, yeah. Next thing I want to hear you say is
This is this is what you're imagining. Yeah, yeah, so now it was your question would be would we do it?
Yeah, yeah, we would do it. I would definitely yeah, but it would be
So fun and me him and they would do probably three thousand takes I would I would be laughing so hard. In real talk, I would, I had to do like a,
like a really graphic sex scene.
It would, if it's a comedy and I can couch it and comedy,
that's easy.
It's a tougher self for my wife,
if I'm like, listen, I'm doing a thriller.
You know what I mean?
And a scene where I have to like,
fucking like really, like, that would be a tough one to do.
That'd be a tough one.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
She's so sweet.
She's so sweet.
She's so sweet.
Also especially if it's like if you had to actually be attractive, that's another type
of pressure.
Yeah, if comedy, it's like you could just do well.
Oh, yeah, it's better if you were more out of shape and stuff.
Well, do a Christian bail thing.
What would you do? The machine is?
No, I would just, no, no, what the fuck?
I'd be lost 100 and 40.
No one told him he didn't have to.
He never did.
No, but if I got a, like if A24 call,
and they go, dude, it's like an action adventure,
sci-fi, wonderment, and you're with I,
it's gonna be great, right?
But you have to look, kip top.
Right, right.
And I go, how much time do I have?
They go six months.
You will never recognize me.
You'll get on test.
You'll do a comellia.
Yeah, you'll do a comellia.
Yeah, you won't recognize me.
I will look so good, dude.
Comellia's body is fucking, it's absurd.
I don't like it.
I like it.
It's too much.
I like it.
You do why? He's like, I don't like it. I like it. It's too much. I like it. You do why?
He's like, I like guys.
No, he just, because I know he's wanted to be like Jack
his whole life.
And then he got cast in a Marvel movie and got it.
I'm doing a Marvel movie.
No, really.
Sorry.
Marvelous Miss Macyl movie.
Sorry, I'm playing Steve.
Are you really doing a Marvelous Miss Macyl? Oh Sorry, I'm playing Steve. Are you really doing Marvelous?
Oh, have you done that show?
No.
Alice Bors, oh my God.
Yeah, she's a great name.
I mean, that's what I'm talking about.
I mean, if you look at us now, the mad alum,
yeah, I mean, we're just doing fine.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Everyone's fine.
Yeah, and it's, you know, and honestly, for me, like, I look back at on it as I miss it,
and I look back at it as fondness.
I mean, I would do things over again,
if, you know, made my behaviors and stuff,
and I would relate.
You would only shove one in, I said,
I'm gonna be like,
do you remember when we went back
for the relaunch of Maddacop?
Almost a couple years ago?
And you would say, yeah, she was there.
Bobby and I were in, Aaron makeup, and Bobby is like, hey, can we get a couple years ago. Yeah, she was there. Bobby and I were in her and makeup,
and Bobby is like, hey, can we get a couple of coffees?
And someone's like, yeah, we'll make a Starbucks run.
Bobby's like, great.
Okay.
15 minutes later, Bobby's like, I'm sorry, is a coffee,
are they closed?
Is it coming?
They're like, the person's sorry, there's a mix up.
They're leaving right now.
Another 15 minutes later, Bobby's like, hey,
where's the coffee?
And the person was like, they're walking in right now or something.
Great.
We never got the coffee.
An hour later, a guy comes in and goes, hey, I don't know if this coffee's gonna happen.
It was like, it was never gonna happen.
It looks like the ship is running perfectly.
I think I remember having to run to Shake Shack for you guys.
Yes, yes, with your friend.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You do remember that?
I do remember that.
There we are.
We look, looking absolutely different.
Look how terrible.
He's crazy.
Hacker, we haven't slept in.
We look like it's Mice and Men, but if we're both letting him.
Yeah, I know.
We looked terrible.
But that was, that specific thing we did.
Thought. It was so fun. It was so fun. Yeah, yeah know. We looked terrible. But that was, that specific thing we did. Thought.
It was so fun.
So much fun.
It was so fun.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And also on my mind, I was like, this is not gonna last.
No.
Look at that, yeah.
That was you were still, you had never left the match.
Right, so the sketch was that, you know, years later,
they're doing this reunion, or a new show, Matty V,
and I still lived in the walls.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It was a fun time we did, though.
There were other shows on the lot.
Your brother John.
My brother John wrote on that.
Writing on it.
But we had other shows on the lots.
We always see people.
Remember, Cedric was shooting a show there?
That's right, that's right.
You sang out with
January 6th participant, Jay Johnson.
What happened?
I had like 15 people text me, like when that went down
or the dude.
We knew this guy, Jake, right?
Jay, that's a good friend.
Jay Johnson.
What legit?
One of the funniest guys in the world.
So like, like was on Mr. Show, was on the Sarah Silverman Show,
was on the rest of the development. One of the funniest, funniest most charming dudes and there was about a six months to a year where we were hanging with him
I'll we were to Las Vegas with him a couple times. Yeah
He used to drive around town in a Nissan Pathfinder that had no windshield
So when you were getting the car you had to put on
Yeah, and
People were doing things around that time
with substances and chemicals.
So we would just have these crazy party weekends with him.
And I mean, I'd go to his house like two days.
Wow.
And then I just kind of lost touch with him.
And then he, yeah, he stormed the Capitol.
Oh!
Yeah, I just don't know where that turned it.
I think for some guys, I think it's a calculated thing.
I think for some guys, they're like,
no, I don't think this is the case for Jay,
I don't know on it all,
but I think there are some guys who are like,
oh, I'm not doing well anymore,
so I'm just gonna pivot right.
Because if you pivot right,
you can make so much fucking money.
There's this.
Yeah, there's this TikToker.
She used to be some like ASMR type chick.
She was a lesbian.
She was like pretty popular.
But then she wasn't, or she was also like a fashion girlie.
But now she goes by something something milk-made.
And her whole thing.
A tradwist.
Like, I cannot believe like, I've, you like, I was brainwashed for so long,
and now look at me, I'm submissive to my husband,
and we live in 100 acres,
and she's basically now like a milkmaid.
Yes, yes, what?
But it's such a stick, because no one actually believes
she has a husband, she just kind of curates this whole look.
And she has a lot of following.
I mean, enough, I think it's rising,
because everyone's like you know
Oh, she went from like lesbian activists to like milkmaid if you're willing to
Fuck and sell your soul out and be like yes, I hate gay people and yeah fucking yeah, oh
The number one problem this country. Yeah, wokeness. I'm like
Homelessness to health care Healthcare, guns, that shit.
But if you wanna go there and you don't give a fuck
about like a moral compass,
Tcha-ching.
Yeah, this is what you need to be made for.
I mean, there's a part of me that understands it.
It's a whole sect of people that are disenfranchised.
But my problem with it is that, the other groups of people that are disenfranchised. But my problem with it is that, you know,
mean, the other, you know,
mean groups of people that are coming up now,
we were disenfranchised for many, many,
for some people, 400 years, you know.
My point is, is that it's like,
maybe the pendulum swung the other way for minorities
or whatever, but it's like, it's no need to react
and go far right, you know, mean, because it's like, it's no need to react and go far right.
I mean, because it's like, we had to endure so much of it,
being disenfranchised and not seen and no opportunity
and whatnot.
I mean, I remember like I was working a lot
a couple years ago and I'm not gonna say who it was.
And...
Barack Obama. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I get, he goes, I used to get 80 auditions a year and I get 20 now.
And I go, oh, that's funny because I used to get two
and now I'm getting eight.
Why?
Because you're mad at the eight I'm getting.
It's insane.
Right.
It's like Margaret Chow was just on two weeks ago
and we were talking about, I love her too.
Fucking lover.
And Margaret and I are working, because back back in the day when we you know in the 90s
We got nothing no right and now I see Margaret on shit and I'm like because you know me now we're being we're
We have opportunity and she's now ceasing that because she's not she's still very young and youthful and whatnot and she's you know
It did she deserved that the whole time and the bummer for me too is knowing how many amazing people
were there that we didn't get enough of.
Like one of my favorite actors of all time
is this guy, Steve Park.
Like you know, Steve Park.
I love him.
The fucking, he was, he's in a Fargo.
He's got my favorite scene in a Fargo.
He's in the new asteroid city.
He, yes.
Yeah.
Now he's starting to get the love.
Yeah, yeah.
That, this guy should have been one of the biggest actors
of the 90s, but because we were like,
he killed it on Fargo.
He's so fucking good.
He's so good.
Mike, oh, you're such a super lady, Mark.
Yeah.
Do you mind if I come over here and sit next to you?
And people think he also, people think that I'm like,
he was the first guy to ask.
He lived in color.
He was on a live in color.
He was on a live in color.
He was on a live in color.
He was on a live in color.
He was on a live in color.
He was on a live in color.
He was on a live in color.
He was on a live in color.
He was on a live in color.
He was on a live in color.
He was on a live in color.
He was on a live in color.
He was on a live in color.
He was on a live in color.
He was on a live in color.
He was on a live in color.
He was on a live in color.
He was on a live in color.
He was on a live in color.
He was on a live in color.
He was on a live in color. He was on a live in color. He was on a live in color. He was on, he was really good. Dave is a very good show. This is a great show. That last season was fucking phenomenal.
So good.
That last episode, but Brad Pitt, but with the girl,
who was holding them kind of, who the fuck was she?
I don't know.
She was incredible.
I've never seen it.
I refuse.
I refuse.
You were watching it.
No, jealousy.
Can you know what? I know what. I know. You will watch it. No, jealousy. Can you know what?
I know watch.
I know watch.
That's funny.
Are there things that you just can't watch?
Because of just emotion.
No, it's not.
Because there's like, I have a couple things like that.
No, number one, I don't know about you, but I'm not a comedy guy.
You can't watch comedy?
Yeah, I'll watch.
No, I'll watch.
What do you watch?
I'll watch the boys.
Okay. Because it's infused with the match.
It's a great show.
And there's comedy in it.
I like, I love succession.
Fantastic.
Fantastic show.
And the humor is dark enough where it just kind of rings
shoot for me, but in general, I just don't watch
comedies.
I don't know why, I've always been like that, right?
I think you'd like the bear.
I'm sure I like it.
The bear is really good.
Yeah, yeah, chef. Yes, chef. That's what they send the bear. I'm sure I like it. The bear is really good. Yeah, chef.
Yes, chef.
That's what they said in the bear.
What came with the curtices in it?
Yeah, second season.
You're like, is it Andrew Lopez or not?
It's Andrew.
You're Maddie Matheson, so it's self-cru-tastic.
Oh, Lopez is great.
What's that?
And Lopez is,
Andrew Lopez, fucking great.
Yeah.
Wait, you know Andrew Lopez?
Yeah, I was in his, I was in,
he was in blockers with me.
Blocked, yeah.
Yeah, I was his first movie ever.
Right on it, too, right? Maybe. Yeah, he probably did some round I was in, he was in blockers with me. Oh, really? Yeah, it was his first movie ever. Right on it, too, right?
Maybe.
Yeah, he probably did some round table stuff, but he's.
I know, that was a last time.
Oh, great.
What a great, great.
He's on Rogan's new show.
He's so funny.
Yeah, so good.
So, yeah, so do you think it's because you're just like,
you're so in constant comedy that at the end of the day,
you just don't want to laugh?
Oh, Mike.
Mike?
Yeah, yeah.
Oh!
Oh!
Um, I think that's Mike. Mike, yeah. Oh!
I think that's what it is. Yeah.
Because when I was in the Mindy project,
and we were doing like, we did 24 episodes.
Yeah.
Because now they do like eight episodes.
Everyone's like, I'm so tired.
But at that time, I was having a hard time watching comedy.
I was like, I need to watch like, move like, zero dark 30 a lot.
Yeah, I mean, because you have to imagine,
I'm at comedy clubs every night.
I'm always around comics and it's like,
I, for some reason, I can still watch nostalgic shows like,
Sign Film, I've never seen one.
Here's, I'm gonna say two.
Crazy.
I'm gonna say two shows, it's gonna boggle your mind.
Friends is the other one.
No. No. Sign Film, I've gonna say two shows. It's gonna boggle your mind. Friends is the other one. No.
No.
Science-fold, I've never seen an episode.
Okay, crazy.
The second one, you're gonna blow your fucking mind.
Okay.
What's the yellow people?
What?
Yellow people, Simpson.
The Simpsons.
The yellow people?
That could have been problematic in us.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
I was gonna say, fresh off the boat.
I know.
I know.
Fresh off the boat.
Like a refute.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like the yellow people.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I've never seen the yellow people show.
First of all, they are, they, what are they?
There's human beings from fucking Springfield.
Yeah, but they don't look like you, they look yellow.
They have to be yellow.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a horror.
All right.
Oh, you know what, so we did do together.
It was awesome.
Oh my God, I have a giant awesome poster in my office.
Oh, you do?
People walk and they see,
sumo.
Yeah, I was sumo.
You played a big fat baby.
And can I say something?
Yeah.
Can I say something off that show?
Yeah.
And I don't want to get emotional,
but that came in a time where I literally, I had nothing.
I had nothing going and I remember when Seth Meyers called me and he goes,
he goes, listen, I know that, because Broadway videos produced it.
Sure.
And I guess Lauren wanted to audition it, right?
And he goes, I put my foot down and I'm like,
I'm just gonna give it to you.
Right.
Let's see if it's got together.
Right, right.
And I remember crying at the end of that thing.
I go, what dude, it's like, if that dude ever needs anything
in life, I'm there.
And I remember when Seth called me and said,
we got a cast as part, do you have Joe Koy's number?
And I said, no, but Bobby Lee's number,
and this is exactly what he said.
Okay.
But it was not how that went.
It was a nice moment.
It was a nice moment.
Yeah, it was a nice moment.
It was a nice moment.
It was a nice moment.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because at the time Joe wasn't doing,
it wasn't your point today,
but that's what hurts even more about that.
It's a nice moment.
It's a nice even more about that but
Yeah, but I just remember going wow and I remember going
Wow, they just people are looking out for me and you know and you know a lot of people have done that for me I remember that there was a sketch show that you
No, I got to hear it you can cut it out
Because you I know what you're gonna say.
I'm gonna say, she's gonna say it!
She's gonna say it, but what I'm gonna say is.
I was there with you, I was rooting for you.
Okay, so there was this no name sketch guy from the UK.
Like literally, I'd never heard of him.
He hadn't had any credits, but there was something.
I think it was hamburger.
Hamburger, something. Not Neil Hamburger, no. No, no, no, had any credits, but there was something. Because he was hamburger. Hamburger, something.
Not Neil Hamburger.
No, no, no, no.
A different hamburger.
Who is that guy?
Is it the standard?
Who always goes hamburger?
No, no, no, no.
Never had that guy.
I was fucking off.
I think he's out of it.
Yeah.
Shucky Duckie.
Shucky Duckie.
Shucky Duckie.
Quack, quack.
Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
Wait, I need to hear this.
I'm gonna talk about that.
Hold on.
There was two comics. one named Hamburger and one
Shucky Duckie, and their hook lines were hamburger,
hamburger, and then Shucky Duckie, quack, quack.
Anyway, go ahead.
He the punch line would be like,
not tell my wife, shut that pussy down, hamburger! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Fucking awesome and the crowd would say hamburger with a
Some British sketch no it wasn't even a sketch. It wasn't even it was just they were just developing No, he was doing a presentation a pilot presentation and I was at the comedy store one night
And this is when the comedy store was and you know, he's a sweet guy
And I remember I performed he goes He's a sweet guy. He was highly talented by the way. Very talented. Yeah.
And I remember I performed and he goes,
Hey man, he's not,
Roy Bobby, I've never seen anything like that before.
No, he was in a skateboard.
And he was an American who lived in London.
Oh.
And he goes,
Young kid like 22.
Yeah, and he's like,
I think I have this pilot presentation.
And I remember campaigning for it.
Like really calling him and go,
what do you need and this and that.
I was just so, I was so thirsty for it.
I remember bringing Christopher Flanagan in and then
Christopher came in and did it.
You know what I mean?
And I remember you just like on your hands and
knees at night, like, I hope I get this.
I hope I get this.
And he'd wake up in the morning,
baby, you think I'm gonna get it?
Baby, they haven't called.
Do you think he liked me?
I was so sad.
I was so sad.
The image of a little boy praying.
It's your God bless my and Pa.
And please, it's so hard.
It is.
I get so full of it.
Shit that I had the agreements that I've made
with my version of God if you get this thing.
Like, oh my God, don't worry, and I'll kill him.
I'll fucking kill him.
Yeah, it's insane.
Yeah.
Whatever happened, because I remember after mad, you and I did, you wrote a pilot, like Bobby Jordan.
Yeah, it was me, you and Jordan.
Yeah.
We shot the pilot.
We shot the pilot, which was really funny.
Troy Miller directed it.
It was like, he directed all the Mr. Show stuff. pilot, which was really funny. Troy Miller directed it.
He directed all the Mr. Show stuff.
It's so funny.
Because that hamburger guy, right, was a Troy Miller thing.
I remember going to choice thing again.
On Ventura.
Yeah, over there.
And that.
He's rolling around the side.
Interesting.
So, yeah, so.
Well, I want to hear how this ended though.
He didn't get it. That's fucked up, by the way. That's fucking insane yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,. Imagine now, Ike Baron holds Bobby Lee and Jordan Peele,
a pilot.
It's a 30 minutes?
I think we did a short, like it was like 20 minutes.
Do you still have it?
Somewhere I could find it.
I remember that there was a scene where we like went to go
hit on some girls at a bar.
Yeah.
And we all like dressed up in what outfits
that we thought made us look hot.
Yeah.
And you were wearing like jeans and a T-shirt.
I was wearing a suit and Jordan was dressed more fierce
from the major.
You got to look a little glass.
I remember the 80s.
We'd like to have him come to a party with us.
I remember that.
I remember that.
I also remember at one of Paul's, we got in a fight.
We did get in a fight enough fight over what you remember I
Secret
Remember I was you were smoking that the house at the house. Yeah, yeah
Yeah, and I remember going you know, I'm gonna be fuck you. Yeah, I'm doing this for free
All true all true all true all true. I'll show me the live. Yeah, so shame
I'll be sure we try to sell it now during the strike back Dorik All true. All true, all true, all true. Show me the lie. Yeah, it's so shame.
I'll be sure we try to sell it now during the strike,
back dork.
Oh, yeah, he would never.
Yeah, he would never have it.
Oh, he would never have it.
If Jordan's like, yeah, I was,
I was gonna direct Chandler's list too,
but I'll do the Ike Bobby Jordan pilot again.
Dust off the Morpheus leather.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Amazing, imagine now. I would love to see it though. I'll find. I'll see if I can find
love. Yeah, it was really fun. So let's let's plug some of the stuff. So what do you
have a new movie because I've you because I follow Stasson too. Oh my god. What's
what's what's what's it called? It's called Maximum Truth. Maximum Truth. Very funny.
Where's it? It's very funny folks. It's on demand. You can order an on demand.
Um, uh, yeah, do you know Dillon O'Brien?
You know this kid is Dillon O'Brien.
He's one of these guys who if you're like over 40,
you're like, I know that face.
And if you're under 30, you're obsessed with him.
Oh, wow.
Um, we after one night, when we were shooting him
into this bar, uh, on Ventura.
And it was just like a perfect, like distillation of our two fandoms.
We're sitting down and a waitress comes over.
She's probably like 23.
And she sees Dylan and she like fucking freezes.
And her knees start shaking and she's like,
and her friend comes over and she's like,
are you okay?
I just have to talk to him.
I just talked to him.
I came over and she's like trembling. And he's like, I just have to talk to him. I just talked to him, I just came over
and just like trembling.
And he's like, oh, hey, nice to meet you.
And then like 10 minutes later,
this like 50-year-old guy is leaving
with like his like 30-year-old girlfriend.
And he looks at me and goes,
as to know, and just walk around.
I just, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I know what you mean.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I get that all still today.
They mix it up.
Yeah. I mean, there's different experiences. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think I get that all still today. They mix it up. Yeah.
I mean, there's different experiences.
He totally different, totally different.
People will still say to me sometimes,
are you gonna audition for SNL?
And I'm like, I'm in my mid 40s.
I can't do it.
I don't think.
Why didn't you do it?
What, like, you could just sign up.
Like, yeah, I was just like,
well, I did this one.
I'm ready to jump over here now.
Yeah.
Uh, there it is.
Yeah, maximum truth.
That's my or said, it's depressing to see a poster now
where I'm the old guy.
But this is a very funny movie.
It's very much in like setting the world of like,
like we were talking about like right wing grifters.
Like people right now who are like,
I need to make money and the best way to do that
is to kind of try to get it from people who are like obsessed with need to make money, and the best way to do that is to kind of try to get it
from people who are like obsessed with like,
ready politics.
So very, very stupid, very funny.
It looks really funny.
It's so, it goes down like a ice cold pop on a summer day.
Yeah, that's what I say.
It's funny, I've had to detach myself
from the whole political thing,
because I found myself beginning obsessed,
and also it would dictate how I would feel during the day.
Yeah.
And there was a sense of powerlessness,
so you just, I just can't watch it anymore.
Oh, I completely disconnect.
I just read the important things I would say,
but the good news is Trump is coming back.
Like he is going to be the nominee for sure.
For sure. He could win.
Oh, if there's even like a mild like recession.
Well, listen, why are you laughing?
Just the talk.
He could, no, but are you excited?
I don't know where he stands.
Are you excited?
R.F.K. all day.
R.F.K.
R.F.K.
R.F.K. Yeah. You know, he wants to do this.? RfK all day. RfK. RfK.
RfK.
You know he wants to do this.
He does?
No, not RfK.
It's the other Kennedy.
His son.
Hey.
Say to RfK, hey you fucking dumbass.
How can your whole thing be going up against big pharma, but you're clearly taking steroids.
They don't work.
They pick one.
They pick one.
It's not the juice.
What's the Kennedy that I was, we were talking to?
No, it's not RFK.
So if you said RFK, I would have been like,
you're talking to Kennedy, the former VJ.
No, no, there's a, there's a Kennedy that's a senator.
He's gonna run for office.
Yeah.
And I got a call from his friend, right going, he might, he likes it, he might want to do
your part.
He's in the comedy.
Yeah, so who is it?
Is it the one who ran for senate in Massachusetts and lost?
No, he really is a senator now or something.
And he's a candidate.
He's Bobby Kennedy's son.
Uh, there's this guy.
He's 71.
That guy, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, that's not a candidate. no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no different. It was 100% RFK, because yeah, he wants to do it,
because he did Whitney, right?
Or he's gonna do Whitney's or something.
He does, probably.
He's doing a lot of podcasts.
That's what I'm saying.
So he's doing them, and so I got a call going,
RFK wants to do it.
Wait, I want Ike to sit in for that.
I would love to.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Him, yeah.
He wants to do it.
That's the guy.
Tell him he has to do it shirtless,
and he has to tell us this is the exact fucking steroids, schedule. He's not gonna do shit. It's gonna hear it guys. Yeah, it's gonna be Trump and Biden again
And the debate is gonna be the Trump is gonna go
Hunter Biden is horrible and
Another thing he keeps taking pictures of his penis
And Joe is gonna be like he died in war
And Joe is gonna be like, he died in war. We are not of it.
I know.
And it's gonna be awesome and I can't wait.
There's no one else that weak, I mean, I mean,
he's so old, is there anyone else?
No, no, no.
And I'm just, I don't know if you want anyone else,
I could see them Trump sneaking in.
Like, who's gonna be Vanomal Harris? No like I know I mean honestly every time I bring this name up
people go I mean their reaction Gavin Newsom.
Gavin Newsom you have a surplus.
Gavin Newsom also is like we have surplus here in California
200 billion I'm like then fucking you said Fucking build housing for homeless people, mother fucker.
Holy fuck.
Yeah, but I know it's gonna be Joe and Trump.
And like, the only is Trump, I could see a world where he dies.
It's Trump.
It's gonna die.
They're both gonna die, but like Biden,
they're pumping him full of all kinds of experimental steroids.
It's being kind of Bernie's at this point. Oh yeah, yeah. But Trump, like Trump, there're pumping him full of all kinds of experimental steroids. It's like he can at Bernie's at this point.
Oh yeah, yeah.
But Trump, like Trump, there's gonna be like a day, like next year,
at some point where like he is supposed to get on a plane and go do like a
fucking rally for a bunch of hogs and fucking Arkansas.
And he's gonna have to like go to court.
And he's gonna be like, I'm not going to court.
I'm actually not going to go.
Let's see what happens. Yeah. And he's gonna be like, I'm not going to court. I'm actually not going to go. Let's see what happens.
And he's gonna have like his heart
and I'm just in love.
It's like, it's a lot of stress to be like wanted.
Yeah, I think that though, I think that.
But you know, he was at the UFC fight this past weekend.
And they yearned.
Yeah, and but then no like it's,
there was like not all the security detail.
No one.
Oh, but you have to see everyone's like, I fucking security detail. No one. I was kind of like, oh, I think I think I can get you.
But you have to see everyone's like,
a fucking love is the troll.
I have to.
No, it's five, 45.
They went to that fucking symphony here.
I think he might need a little bit of extra security.
Yeah, now he's the guy.
It's his world and, you know,
his brain is completely fried at this point, Trump. Almost more's completely, his brain is completely
fried at this point, Trump.
Almost, almost more than Biden's, which is crazy.
Biden is like, like, he's sundowning.
Like, I just heard this article where they're like,
Biden is talking to staff and saying,
get the fuck outta here.
What's wrong with you?
I'm like, that's sundowning.
That's sundowning, yeah. But Trump's brain is like, that's sundown. That's sundown, yeah. That's sundown, yeah.
But Trump's brain is like, it will be worth it though
to watch him tear through the other Republican now.
Like, when he does a debate and like Ron DeSantis is like,
I wanna take on Disney when Trump's gonna be like,
first of all this guy's a little light in the loafers
and you know what I mean.
Second of all, I love Disney.
Like,
Do you know that?
Do you know how old Ron DeSantis is?
He's like 44.
44.
Yeah, 44, yeah, yeah.
He's got that woman, Nikki Haley,
is gonna be like, we can be a better American.
Trump will be like, tell him your real name, Nikki.
Yeah, he is, he is his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his,'ll be like, tell him your real name, Nikki.
His, his, his, his, his,
his, his, his, his,
his, his, his, his, his,
his, his, his, his, his,
his, his, his, his, his,
his, his, his, his, his,
his, his, his, his, his,
his, his, his, his, his, his,
his, his, his, his, his, his, his,
his, his, his, his, his, his, his,
his, his, his, his, his, his, his,
his, his, his, his, his, his, his,
his, his, his, his, his, his, his,
his, his, his, his, his, his,
his, his, his, his, his,
his, his, his, his, his, his,
his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his,
his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his,
his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his,
his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, still doing here? Yeah, he's doing here. It's just like, bye.
I had a bad cruise.
He was like, your wife's an ugly bitch.
That's like, oh well, that, oh right.
He brought a completely different level to this guy.
Marco Rubio, he's like, little Marco.
Look at his little head.
I'm gonna got a little dick.
Marco Rubio's like, oh, I don't agree.
Jeb Bush, he's like, Jeb Bush is like, I believe we are better than this.
He's like, yeah, at least my dad didn't do 9-11.
You're just fucking crazy.
Wow, that's what he does.
Yeah, and he's gonna crush these motherfuckers.
Did you hang out with Hitchcock recently?
Yeah, the picket lines, and again, both of us want to thank you for your
service.
Honestly, dedication.
Can I say something, I invite me.
I'm actually going to go on Friday with Michael McDonald.
And guess what?
I'm in Hawaii.
Why is that?
I'm in Hawaii.
They're picketing the Hawaii five o'clock.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Mag and P.I.
What's that?
Yeah. Okay, it got canceled. Oh, did it get canceled? Yeah. Fuck, my boy, Jay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, be like, who is that? What the fuck is that guy? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
One of the nicest guys, it was one of those shows
where I did like 15 of them.
And it was like one of my favorite shows.
Dream to go to a place.
Why is the best place in the world?
Yeah, like and to go.
I did get banned from their hotel.
Just one, two, one.
What was he reading?
He was reading his lab.
He was reading his lab.
Yeah, you told me.
Yeah, yeah.
You told me like when we were on large mat,
you were like,
anyways, I got to go. I got to go Yeah, yeah, yeah, you told me like when we were on large Mount you were like, anyways, every left I gotta go
What what what why do you just cause and havoc at the hotel?
No, I was I was smoking so I was smoking weed in the
On the patio and then people on the board lot bought we could watch me
So I started doing in the in the room, but with the right. So my head's popped open outside.
My body's in the room. My head's outside and I'm smoking out of a bong. And I hear, I hear,
hey man, you can't smoke there. And I look up and there was a fat man on the second level
of fat man, right? And he's looking down and I go, hey man, fuck you! That was the manager.
Oh.
So then the producers call me and they go,
you gotta leave.
You gotta leave the hotel.
Hold these.
So I go, well, what can I stay?
And I was like, he's like, I got kicked out
and something trying to like book.
Yeah, and my best friends, that could have produced her.
So I was like, I was fine, but you know what I mean?
Jean Hall.
He lives my boy.
He lives my boy.
Jean Hall has been at the Paramount Pickin' Lion with me.
He has been.
Yeah, he's been there a lot.
And Gene goes like 40,000 steps at those pickings.
Yeah, he's moving, man.
He's moving.
When I get back from Hawaii, we'll do it.
Anyway, it's really nice to have you.
You know?
Listen, I want to say this, Ike.
Is that weird?
So if you ever want to promote anything, come here,
because my fans will come.
Bro, I gotta tell you guys, for so long,
I've wanted to do this podcast.
And I've asked Bob, he's like, can I do the podcast?
And he's like, we recorded nine o'clock.
And I was like, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't.
I'm asleep, I can't, we've changed it. I will do this. Okay, so, I'm, you know what, I get out of sleep. I changed it. We've changed it.
I will do this.
Okay, so I'm, you know what, I'm doing it every day.
I'm saying.
No, anytime you want to promote anything, come on,
it will promote it.
When RFK comes on.
When RFK comes on, I will take you up on that.
I'm joining this and I'm joining your one with Santino.
Santino's out.
I'm your new fucking, oh, it's called a fucking, oh wow.
By the way, this would be great.
That'd be great.
This, all of them and I together, I'm gonna use it.
Should we start a third podcast?
Because I think our standups need podcasts.
Yeah.
Santina would lose his mind.
No, ours will be different.
Our's, ours, ours, ours.
Yeah.
We'll see clips from Tiger Belly and your podcast
of Santina and then we talk, we pray.
It's like, it's like talking dead.
Yeah.
Your other shit.
You're gonna be funny though.
We did four, like four a year you and I did it. Yeah. A movie shit. You're gonna be funny though, if we did four,
four a year you and I did it.
Yeah, I move your review show or something.
Oh my God.
Oh, can I tell you one quick story?
Yeah, go ahead.
I was in the picket line.
And you guys ever heard of the show Bosch?
You know, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Fucking badass show.
So I get there and I see Bosch at the picket line.
Titus well of her.
And I walk up to him, like,
hey man, I'm a big fan, he goes,
you're a fan of mine.
Let me fucking tell you something. 15 years ago, I go to see a movie with
my kid. All of a sudden, these two guys are running around. I look up. I see one guy's
asshole. I go, who the fuck are these guys? This kid goes, that's Bobby Lee and I
hurt him. Why is my asshole? You remember when we went and shot a, like a Oscar bit for the, for Madd where we went
and we went, basically like it was like,
I can, I can Bobby go to the movies.
Yeah, I was Oscar.
It was, we went to go see all the Oscar nominated.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We just took,
in that shitty hotel, that hotel,
it was in North Hollywood, right?
It was, we went to a theater
and we literally just had a camera to sound guy
and we just did bits for like three hours. And one of them, you went to the front of the screen and pulled your pants down and showed
your asshole and tight as well. It was there was 12 year old son. Oh my. Oh my god. Oh my god.
You remember we did a sketch with my dad. It was my dad.as he turns he turns to a Bobby at one point
Bobby and he like nodded like he knew what to do walks over to a PA and gives him like a 50
And goes and he'd you go to the corner store and get my father a beer and a clomato
Yeah, whoa and they went and got come
When he relapsed he was a clomato. Yeah. And they went and got come drunk. And when he relapsed, he was a clomato guy.
Clomato.
A man of guy, yeah.
Well, if you're gonna relapse,
it's good to drink the most disgusting shit.
It's funny, because after the Matt TV,
I, you know, Comedy Central gave me a pilot, right?
So my dad was in the pilot.
Yeah.
And wrote him this monologue, which was a mistake.
Because my dad shows up and he's scared, you can tell.
Yeah.
And they say, he put him on his mark and I go, we go action.
And he looks inside the camera and he just ran off.
I don't know.
I can't remember when we did the schedule with your mom.
She hit me.
She's laughing at the face.
And she was also like, I like home so low.
I was trying to like, hit on me.
Yeah, yeah.
It was great, good times.
Anyway, I love you, thanks for doing it.
What a freak.
I'm serious, it was.
That was a fucking selfie.
You like that.
It was a sincere fucking comment, mother fuck.
Bon, it was a fun episode.
Hey, I know.
Woo! Peace out! Hey! I'm good! I love you! Bum bum bum bum Que yo no pucĂa y tuyo