TigerBelly - Jiaoying Summers & the Betrayal of Bobby

Episode Date: April 2, 2025

Comedian Jiaoying Summers makes her 3rd appearance and Andrea Jin rises. We chat poop particles, green cards, "significant other", stolen beanies, & double China. Start earning points on rent you’re already paying by going to www.joinbilt.com/belly. That’s www.joinbilt.com/belly Make sure to use our URL so they know we sent you: www.joinbilt.com/belly, to start earning points on your rent payments today.

He has to introduce all of us? And do your best. I don't. Intro. You want to do it Andrea? You want to do the intros? Yeah, I could do it. Okay.

Make sure you intro him and he's Bobby's sidekick, introduce Bobby and then yourself. Wait, no, can Jaime do it? I can't do it. Jaime, you can do it. It's too much Bobby has more than you right now What is this? He's definitely that's definitely more above number New Year $500

Yeah, the white boy still here What's up guys, let's he wanted to get some intro the world hold on I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Nothing happens if you take either one of them. Hey, listen man, are you done? Somebody watch this.

Guess the character. You know what, here's a Mexican, it's- No, no, no, guess the character. A complete noun. A complete- The story of the fat Mexican Bob Dylan. I've seen the movie two times already. Okay, what's going on?

I can't hear anything in my headphones. Can you fix it for a few headphones, man? Jesus Christ, what's going on here? I know you have bits. I know you have bits written. But just give me a second, okay? You don't come in with bits. You do the bits on, you know. Look, he's wearing the bits.

It's like, it's already happening. If it's not good, if you have to use props, it's not good. There's a lot of props right now. Is it working? Okay, um, we have to wait until, your bits, it's going to work, but you're working on it, okay? What's wrong with you? I got burned in, uh, Canada. Okay, we have to wait until, your bits, it's gonna work, but you're working on it, okay? What's wrong with you? I got burned in Canada.

Like a racial? I got burned. Are you sure you got bit by a mongoose? No, I had a hot coffee poured on me. From what, that guy? It was his coffee, but I went over to steal some water from the service car in the hotel, and the coffee burned me.

Yes, no. It's very bad. Oh. It's not the way I wanted to wake up, but. Uh-huh. Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe. We just met. Really? Yeah.

You regret it or? It's going well. That's so much. I think it's going well. I think it's, he doesn't know my name yet. You know her name? I've said it five times. What's her name?

Whatever, man. Wow. I don't know, go back to Texas, dude. Big dogging me right now. We'll do it next week. Big dogging me right now. I'll play whatever I wanna play, you know? I don't know, go back to Texas, dude. Big dogging me right now. We'll do it next week. Big dogging me right now. I'll play whatever I want to play, you know? Is it working now?

Thank you. Okay, wait, hold on. I'm gonna introduce your bed, hold on, with a piano song, right? Hi, baby's got bits. Okay, go ahead. Wait, oh, let's do it again. Hi, baby's got bits. Okay, go ahead. Wait, let's do it again. Maybe it's got bits.

Okay, go ahead. That's a little rest. I don't like that. Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo. No. Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo. Oh yeah, do it. Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo.

I was on that. Oh, I thought you were going to keep playing. Go ahead. I want to hear some music man. No, that part's over. Go ahead. My name's Bob Denny. I already did the complete known bit.

You say you introduced me. When I went back and did the complete known, he panicked. He tried to interrupt me because he was doing that bit. So, I kind of took your thunder. So I'm so sorry about that. Let's just pretend we didn't do it. Okay.

What's your name? Bob Daley. Okay. Okay. Before I introduce everybody, is there more to it? Huh? Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. never seen it so complex. I know. You know what, I get it completely. That's the thing.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You do it? I'm with him right now. You're with the bit. You didn't laugh. Because it's been going on for 30 minutes. Yeah, yeah. Let's introduce everyone to the room.

I'm already used to it. Let's introduce everyone to the room. Introduce everybody. The bit's going to continue the whole show? I got the room? It does introduce everybody. Can you tell? Is the bit going to continue the whole show? I got the Newport Festival to go to. Oh my God, okay. Did you like the movie? I love it.

Did you see it? It's okay. Yeah, Jai, did you see it? I can't stand He-man. He-man. He-man. She called you a He-man. No, he's He-man.

I'm He-man. You're giving Mexican Stevie Wonder, you look blind. Yeah, you got the shades on. Yeah, I don't know that. It's more Stevie Wonder, it was what she tried to say in Chinese. Yeah, Stevie Wonder. It's more Stevie Wonder than Bob Dylan.

Yeah, Stevie Wonder, yeah, more Stevie Wonder than Bob Dylan. Oh, damn it. Yeah, take it off. Can you sing just like a blow in the wind? Do you know how to blow in the wind? I was a man walking around. That's pretty good.

That's not bad. It's not anything. Thank you. That's the point. Yeah, it's not bad. Yeah, yeah. I don't know about today, but this came out weird. I'll tell you what I woke up to.

Can I just tell you what I woke up to? Thank God for this message, because I wouldn't have woke up. It's the first time I've ever slept in. The first time? See, he's sick too. I'm not sick at all. I just have nasal.

I feel great. George goes, can Andre use the upstairs bathroom? Alex blowing up the one down here. Yeah, it did smell. After. Excuse me, sir. All right, you do diarrhea in your own house. You don't do it in my house. It did smell bad.

It did smell bad. I went in there to smell it. The beak on the router is gone. And I went in right after. Yeah, yeah, right after. Did you poo? No. You had to pee? I peed.

I also peed, I didn't poop. I did it in my own house. Jiao Yang, I didn't fucking ask you. Sorry. All right, ready? Let's introduce her in the room. We have Jiao Yang Summers. Yes.

Say it again. Jiao Yang Summers. Jiao Yang, I call her Yang. Yeah, Yang, he will think I'm a man, because Yang is woman, Yang is man. Jiao Yang Summers, whatever. Whatever it is. Change it to an American, let's come up with an American name for Jiao Yang. I can be Bobby too. Betty.

Betty. Betty Summers. Dude. Betty Summers. Betty Summers is a good fucking name. That's a really good name. That's a really good name. Sounds like a good name. I'm Betty. Betty. Betty Summers. Dude. Betty Summers.

Betty Summers is a good fucking. That's a really good name. That's a really good name. It sounds like a librarian. No, it sounds like a pop star. I'm trying to learn Chinese accents and I didn't really fully get that. I heard it sounds like librarian.

It sounds like a librarian with an yeast infection. And librarian. Librarian. No, no, sorry. I'm just kind of for Bobby. Do you swear to god you're saying that? Yes. Because you're Chinese. Because I'm Chinese.

That's right. I don't know the language. Yes. I was saying that for him. Thank you. It's okay. I understand. Librarian.

Oh, I see. I get it. Librarian. Can you do it? No, no. So we have another guest. I call her Judas, I get it, I get it. Librarian. Can you do it? No, no, so we have another guest. I call her Judas. I call her.

Misty and Phoenix. I love you. Shut the fuck up. Bumpy. Andrea. Shut the fuck up. Andrea Jen. I love you so much.

Shut up! Jaime. Break my arm. No, no, Jaime. Give them a round of applause. What a great panel of guests today we have. Thank you. Yeah.

Say your name again. Andrea. I said it 10 times. That's the one you need to be repeated? She needs that one to be repeated. Yeah. What's her name? Betty.

Wow, so quick. So welcome to the show guys. She's gonna kill me after this. So, Jai Yang, did you see A Complete Unknown? I did not see the movie, but I know Bob Dylan very well. His music, obviously. Yeah, obviously. Personal life, and his cheater and the user and the-

Whoa, what are you talking about? He used John Byas and he used her fame to get into touring. And then the moment he got famous, he just dumped her like she's no one. This is true. It's so true, and he just, he's very Hollywood, but he can sing. But I love the movie.

He kind of steal her style though. He'd sing like her, but at worst. But he's a man, so he made it, yeah. He's a great writer. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,, yada yada yada, and number two, boo, and number three, no. What I'm saying to you is that when you listen to Blonde on Blonde or Let it, no. No, Blood on Tracks, Highway 61 Revisited.

I mean, these are brilliant lyrics, brilliant songs. Okay? And to me, it doesn't sound like Joan Baez at all. Well, he's a man. I know that he happens to be a male of the gender, right? But I don't know the specifics, but I think just on his work alone, you can go, wow, he's really talented, no?

I think he's very talented, but it didn't stop him from being an asshole though. He's a talented asshole. Yeah, okay. I like his song. He's a poet. Very good, God, you're so bright. So is Bob Dylan big in China?

Bobby Lee's bigger. Do you have your own version of Bob Dylan in China? People think he's great, yeah. I would. I wonder if that would work. Header, header, me still tambourine. Header, me still tambourine, I'm under. Play a song for me. Pretty good.

That was good, I liked that. Yeah, very good. That was a hit. You're going's a hit. You're gonna get hit. Do it. No, I'm just kidding. I miss your touch. Andrea, so.

You're so weird. Bizarre. I'm trying to reconnect. No, look at that. Japan. Japan, that's Japan. It's actually China. That's China.

China, yeah. That is 20 years ago. What year is that? Oh. No, 20 years ago. Because every No, it's 20 years ago. Because every Chinese person they have on there already got canceled in prison, so I think it was 20 years ago.

Yeah. Andre, did you see the movie? Yeah, I loved it. I loved it too. I saw it again last night, because they came out on streaming. Timothee Chalamet did so well. Timothee Chalamet is a-

He's a great actor. He's the greatest actor of his generation so far. He is. He is absolutely greatest actor of his generation so far. He is. He is absolutely, I'm so jaded. And of course I've been around for a very long time, I've seen all sorts of acting. I think he's the greatest of his generation, what a talented kid.

He seems nice, he seems cool. He has all the things that you do. Yes, and he has Kylie Jenner breastfeeding him. Yes, and I. Yeah. That's true, yeah. Oh, that's true. Yeah, that's very good. I was gonna say, I love that he's dating Kylie.

I, I mean. Oh, that's who you said? I think he needs to. Anyway, who did you laugh at? I don't know, you laugh, I was like, I'll laugh too. I heard, yeah, he got Kylie, I don't know who, I don't know who Kylie were, who it was. Anyway, do you, what's your,

let me just say, I just woke up, so, what's your analysis of the movie? From what I've seen. Well, you didn't see the whole thing? Someone else has seen. Look at his right now, mom, I'm hungry. Mom, I'm really hungry. It's good acting.

I love the acting, I love how he was. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you see it with Barbosa? Yeah, I saw it two times. In the theater? Yeah. He liked it too? Yeah.

What a great kids. Yeah, man, it's an amazing movie. It is a very male movie. It's like cold, distant, but then he gets everything and no consequences. Okay. He's a Jew from Minnesota. And then, and every woman is like so obsessed.

Yeah, they didn't, he didn't. Well, back then it was different. I think that if he was rising now, he would have got canceled there probably. Yeah. I like the scene, I don't know if this is true or not, where I think there was like that whole Cuban crisis situation and everyone was leaving New York

and then she sees, Joan Baez sees him in that like little cafe or whatever playing and she's watching him and then when he leaves the stage, they just kind of walk up the stairs and he kisses her. I love that scene. I love that scene. Yeah. Yeah. There's some love in the heart of the narcissist.

Well, it's just- Will you stop saying that? Can you- Will you stop saying that? Demin and Ross? I'm a huge fan of his. I cry every time when I listen to Demin and Ross. He still, she still loves him even though he's- Whoi-Nate Ross? I'm a huge fan of his! I cry every time when I listen to Demi-Nate Ross. She still loves him even though he's...

Who's Demi-Nate Ross? The song that... The bias thing goes for him. Well, I don't even think it was love. It was just lust and passion. I mean, she's confused. She's also a lesbian. So I don't know what she wants.

I think she loved him, but he didn't... I don't think he loved her. He think it's free pussy. I can open for you for free. You are free for the flight. I'll get a travel guide! Watch for me! He he loved her. He think it's free pussy, I can open for you for free. You are free for the flight. I'll get it, I'll get it. Well ask for me.

He's a Jew, he want it for free. What does that have to do with anything? Anyway, what'd you think of Joan Baez? The actor or the? Monica Barbaro, the actor. Oh she did great, right? She killed it. Yeah.

The actress. You know, did you know that I did a sitcom with her? She guest starred a couple times on Splitting Up Together, and so we hung out and stuff. And then after the show, we would sometimes text back and forth, but then now that she's ... Then all of a sudden Maverick came out, she was in Maverick, and then now she's in this movie. So I just, you know, she was in Maverick. And then now she's in this movie. So I just, you know, she's too busy. I'm so happy for success.

I would never do that to you, Bobby. You've done worse. No. What did she do, Bobby? She's done worse, yeah. Yeah, she's done worse. After you start opening for Ronnie Chen, I can't get you back.

I'm like, can I have Ronnie? You're the good China. Yeah. I like good China. Yeah. Good China the good China. I like good China. Yeah. Good China, right, they see things in the works. Yeah, there's an accent, you know, I'm too fresh to bull.

She's like too Canadian. She's like white now. Exactly. She was influenced Canadian. Look at her face. She's also younger and prettier. I'm listening. Oh, she's more prettier than you.

Definitely. No, no, no. I'm listening and learning and I'm growing. You're Jordan Peterson? I hate that. I hate that. Bobby, I'm learning from my mistakes. That's very good.

Thank you. Andre, remember I made you dumplings at my house, remember? I loved it. What kind of dumplings? I had made dumplings for her. Thank you. Also, did I give you a stinky egg? Is that a century old egg?

No, your mom made us food. Wait, how did this happen? We were very close friends and then she got really big and then I can't, I was in Canada and I was lost. I understand. I'm being attacked right now. You're not being attacked. It's okay, I saw the words.

We love you. I love everybody here. I know, but I understand the words. We love you. I love everybody here. I know, but I understand your pain. I love you. Okay, I understand your pain. She's risen. She's risen above, like a phoenix. Yeah, I'm still a rooster in your bathroom with no beak.

The one, he blew up. I was peeing. Yeah, I was peeing in shit air. Like there's shit air around. It's called the poop particles. I think that's the problem today. It's like black mold. It causes you crazy crazy. But his poo is equivalent to black fungus,

right? So don't do that again. That's my bad. It's your butthole's bad. Anyway, guys. ["It's Bill"] Bill. It's Bill.

I'm not doing that. Yeah, do it. I don't want to's built. It's built. It's built. It's built. It's built. It's built. It's built. It's built. It's built. It's built.

It's built. It's built. It's built. It's built. It's built. It's built. It's built. It's built.

It's built. It's built. It's built. It's built. It's built. It's built. It's a reality when you pay your rent through Build. You know when you pay for rent, Jaime? It goes to waste, did you not know that? Yeah, I didn't know that.

What? Yeah, but with Build it doesn't because you don't even have to check with your landlord to start earning points that you can use toward flights, hotel stays, fitness classes, even your next rent payment. Let me break it down for you, buddy. There's no cost to join Build, and as a member,

you'll earn valuable points on rent and on your everyday spending. Build points can be transferred to your favorite hotels, airlines, and even the ones that I haven't even heard of. There are over 500 airlines and over 700,000 hotels and properties around the world. You can redeem your Build points toward. Points can also be redeemed towards a future rent payment and unique

experiences that only built members can access that's right bud so if you're not earning points on rent my question is why not start earning points on rent you're already paying for by going to joinbuilt.com slash belly that's J O I N B I L T dot com slash belly make sure you use our URL so they know that we sent you. Join bill.com slash belly to start earning points on your rent payments today. And this person was sending me your clips, not knowing that we're friends.

I like this person, you know what I mean, as a comedian. Ooh, okay. Okay. Okay. And it nearly drove me like a spider monkey up a tree. I mean, I went nuts. Wait, Bobby, do you remember when we were at the restaurant?

If you ever do this again to me, I'll give you your Chinese force. Your Chinese force doesn't work around this town because I'm a fucking Jedi too. I'm causing a spell. I'm casting a spell. I feel you. You feel, dude.

I'm sorry. I hate that we're on the same side here. I hate that too, but finally. Yeah, yeah, yeah. At the end of the day, you're not my ally either. I am, I am. I don't know what you're trying to do. You're doing Chinese wizardry.

You're doing exactly what she does in a different way. Which is like, you know what I mean? I'm gonna slowly change sides and use Bobby, don't touch me, and use Bobby as a pawn, you know what I mean? So go ahead. I was at this party. Oh you? You go ahead. It's a Hussam Manaj's special.

Andrea was with me and there's a group of Asian people came to us, be like, Andrea Jin, I love your comedy. You're the best Asian female comedian. Andrea is trying to be fake. She goes, Jiao Ying is also very funny. Like, yeah, love you. That's what you did? I remember.

She tried to tell them Jiao Ying Summers is amazing. She goes, huh? We love you. I was standing you did? She tried to tell them, Jiong in summers is amazing. She goes, huh? We love you. I was standing there like a fucking dog. I was just like, and they do like, you are so young and so bright. You are Gen Z.

They were like, how old are you? I said, I'm gone. You're brother donkey? I feel bad because she's young. She's famous. People love her. No, no, no, no, no. No, people love her. Anyway, what's that mean? No, no, no.

What's your boyfriend's name? I like him a lot. His name is Zane. His only problem is not gonna happen. He's a nice kid. Z-A-N-E. I mean, he's still with me, so. You can see the suffering behind him.

No, but he's handsome, he's, he seems to adore you. He seems to adore you. You know who he looks like? No, hold on. You gotta say he looks like? What? Hold on. You gotta say it. Jaime's really good at this. Jaime, in fact, I want you to do your magic

because he's a very good ma- He's gonna say what everyone here looks like, but he's gonna start with his hand. So what does his hand look like? Do you want me to say it? Yeah, yeah. Oh my God, we stopped the whole podcast. That's the game we're playing right now.

I know. He looks like a young Chris, this stuff I know. We are dead on, very good, very good. Let's go George now. He looks like George. One of one. No, he looks like a guy from Breaking Bad, Todd. Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, that's good.

Gilbert. Pass. Okay, yeah, yeah, okay, that's good. Gilbert. Pass. Okay, me. Exactly. Thank you. His face is too, you know. Too flat, I apologize. I didn't say that.

No, it's not like a persimmon. It's persimmon, the fruit. Yeah. Yeah, it's just like pancake batter. And you go, me, you, you, man. There's no one else. The game's not working. You hyped him up too much.

You hyped him up. No, but I'm giving him too long to think about bits. I'm trying to get him quicker. You know what I mean? Well, I'm stuck on the Bob Dylan game. Yeah, he's on Bob Dylan time, so there's a lot of pausing. You don't know how to drop it. In your mind.

I'm gonna drop this one on you. No one is free, you know? Even the birds are chained to the sky. Bob Daylin. I don't know if that's it. Is that it? Wait, wait, wait. I'm looking it up.

Wait, at least see if that's a real thing, because it doesn't sound like it. But no one is free, even the birds are. Change of the sky. Oh my God. He's a wordsmith. He's a wordsmith. You're a wordsmith.

Oh my God. No one is free, even the birds are change of the sky. Oh wow. What does that mean? Sounded made up. Yeah, it sounded made up to me. Like from him. I know, I know.

I know. So, kid, tell us what that means? So like, when no one's free, no one is free. Like, even the birds. You don't quote it again. Don't rearrange it. You're rearranging it. You're just saying it again, yeah.

Well, what does it mean to you? I know what it means. What does it mean to you? You're actually doing Bob Dylan pretty well. Yeah, that's pretty good. It's just deflecting. Don't talk to me, Haven. Why?

I don't like when you have your sunglasses on. It was really disrespectful. Put them on? No, no, no. I was trying to attack you, but I saw you were disabled. I wasn't. I'm not really mad at you. I lost my timing.. I wasn't. I was not. I was real mad at you. I lost my timing, now I.

What kind of disability do you think you have? What kind of disability? I thought it was. Like autistic? No, autistic are good, that's my kink. I like autistic. It's just a different one. Slower one?

Like my son, you're like, just like stare at one direction. Okay, okay, okay, okay. Yeah, anyway. Yeah, anyway. Sunglasses? No. No, no, okay. Yeah, anyway. Anyway. So glasses? No. No, no, put those away.

Put away. Yeah. The Ray-Bans. You have nice eyes for you. Yeah. You're very cute. Don't you think Jaime is cute a little bit? Yeah.

He's a cutie pie. He's like the brown panda. Yeah, I don't think I would penetrate you as a woman. No, I wouldn't fuck him, because that would be not. Could you though? Kind of. I don't know. If you you as a woman. No, I wouldn't fuck him, because that would be not. Could you though? I don't know. If you deserted on an island with Jaime.

Yeah, Bobby or Jaime. Yeah, Zayn is gone. He died from Hiv or whatever. Specifically. Yeah, specifically Hiv, like Freddie Mercury style. It was a sad moment, there was tears, your kids cried, but you moved on. Now you're on a plane, private plane. He just happens to be on it.

You're ovulating. The plane has crashed. Over the last two human beings? No, on an island. The last two human beings on an island. A month goes by, you know what I mean? He's not doing shit. He hasn't made a fucking shelter.

He hasn't gotten any coconuts, no fish. He's on the verge of death. But he keeps saying this line. Yeah, he's laying on the beach like this, with his hands over it like this, no one is free. This guy, you know what I mean? Well.

And then would you? If I can find two coconuts to lift up his foot, I might. Yeah, no, but honestly, would you eventually or no? I don't think so. If I can find a two coconut to lift up his footpeh, I might. No, but be honest, would you, eventually or no? I don't think so. Wow, that's not good for you. How about you, Andrea? I think I would just get really into arts and crafts. Instead of me?

Yeah. And just become asexual, respectfully. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no Okay. Yeah. Oh, so you make sand castles? I'll do everything. Yeah. Sand angels? Literally anything you can think of. Would you rather kill yourself than have sex with him? No.

That's harsh. That's hard. No, that means you are into him. There's love involved if you want to kill yourself, no, fuck him. Eventually. There's a history. Yeah, because that's hate.

You don't care about him that much to actually kill yourself, no fuck him. There's a history. Yeah, because that's hate. You don't care about him that much to actually kill yourself, no fuck him. We just met. So we've been on the island for two years. Okay. Oh yeah, that's true. So we're really good friends. Yeah, good friends.

And you don't fuck your friends. That's true. Now, if you built a shelter and he, I don't think he's going to help. There's no way he's going to help. I've built shelters. Oh, where? Where? In Texas. I'm Mexican.

You mean underground tunnels? I mean, are you just claiming the... My name? No, never mind. I just don't even think he would get my name right in two years. I don't think so. Someone has to know my name if I'm going to fuck them. Would you eat him if he died? Yes. two years ago. I don't think it's funny. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Someone must know my name if I'm going to fuck them.

Now, would you eat him if he died? Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You'd rather eat him than fuck him. Yeah. Yeah, wow.

That's not good for you. Why? Oh, okay, I'm sorry. There's so many fish in the sea. These are just two fishes in the sea right now. There's a quote. That's a good one. I feel like you made that up. There's only two fishes in the sea right now. There's a quote. That's a good one. I feel like you made that up. There's only two fishes in the sea is yours.

Right? Is that something you came up with? It would drive me insane if it just popped up in a quote. And it says Bob Dole. If that's a quote, dude, I'm like, yeah, we're all going to kill ourselves. Yeah. Yeah.

Anyway. Fishing in the sea. Happiness is everywhere you can see, but she's a bird in the sky. She don't want to fuck with you. Whoa. Whoa. That was Chinese. There's fish in the sea. Happiness is everywhere you can see, but she's a bird in the sky, she don't wanna fuck with you. Whoa. Whoa. That was Chinese. That's very good.

That's very true. Yeah, so let's go. We have different species, she's a bird, you know. So what did Andrea do? Who asked me that? Yeah. What did Andrea do? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I know, would you be mad if I said it or no? Some parts. Let's move on. What? Hey, clip that, clip that. Yeah, yeah, clip that. So we'll move on from it. I love you so much.

I love you, but you did betray me. Can we just say that? You did. Okay. All right, and I'll give you another shot. Thank you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank you, Bobby.

I don't even, I won't say anything. But not as an opener. It'll be a big year probably until I can ask you. Plus you opened for Bill Burr and Ronnie. You know what I mean? They're two bigger pieces of the, yeah. You're biggest in my heart. Okay.

And you're up there, you're literally right up there. Congratulations. You're with us. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Very good. You are with us. Yeah, But anyway, congratulations. You're literally right up there. Congratulations. You're with us. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Very good. You are with us. Yeah, yeah, I am. Okay.

It's gonna take me now, as opener. I'm gonna do like 10 minutes of Bob Dylan and then the next 10 minutes of... Yeah, I have some Texas kids coming up and I'll use you as an emcee. Sweet, I'm gonna get my guitar. I think I'm going to Houston. God!

Houston improv in a couple of months. I'll get you a flight there and a hotel and everything. I'll stay in Texas. How far is Dallas to Houston? Houston, like three hours drive. Really? Well if you drive there, I'll pay you well and I'll get you a hotel room. That's cool man.

Okay, anyway. If you want the gig. I feel like you don't want it. He's cool, man. Okay, anyway. If you want the gig. If you want it, I feel like you don't want it. He's like, I'm good. Yeah, you want to do it? Yeah. Or you're going to be my guy?

Yeah, I'll just pack my bag and head west. He's doing Bob Dylan stuff. He's still on the Bob Dylan. He's still doing Bob Dylan. I feel like it's east from Dallas. Never east. It's east. It's east.

It's east. We're on the west coast. Yeah, yeah, It's east. It's east. Yeah. We're on the west coast. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So if you go west, you're going to fucking Phoenix. Oh. Yeah, right.

Do you know where you are? Yes. Okay. Never eat soggy waffles, as I remember. Yeah. I'm gonna ask you some geographical questions. No. Yeah, yeah, no.

How old are you? I'm 29. Oh, God. Oh, shit. Is Hawaii in the Atlantic or Pacific? Say that again? But slower, Bobby? Is Hawaii the island? Like Maui, Honolulu?

Yeah, the whole thing. Okay. Yeah, Honolulu, the whole thing. It's very concentrated, it's not that spread out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is Hawaii on the Pacific Ocean or Atlantic Ocean very concentrated, it's not that spread out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is the Hawaii on the Pacific Ocean or Atlantic Ocean?

It's wherever it wants to be at, man. Oh, so it's like a sperm whale just drifts and swims wherever it wants to? It's kind of like a sunfish, it just floats around, mind's in business. Are you doing Bob Dylan again? Yes. He never stopped.

Okay. He never stopped. He never stopped. No, let him have this bit this week. I like it. Yeah, I like it too. Oh, Chow Ying. She doesn't like it, right?

Yeah, I wonder, what's your top three movies of all time? Ooh. It's gonna be, You Won't Like It, is Xiao Sheng's redemption. Okay. And, don't... I never saw that movie. Shaoshank's...

Go ahead. Kill Bill. Which one, one or two? Both of them? The first one. Very good one. And, I would say, Godfathers. Yeah, very good.

The first one. The first two are great. Yeah, not the third one. What's your top three, Andrea? I like the tale of Princess Kaguya. I like the story of the princess. I like the story of the princess. I like the story of the princess. I like the story of the princess. I like the story of the princess. I's your top three, Andrea? I like the tale of Princess Kaguya.

I've never even heard of that. Is that a sushi? Yeah, yeah. It's an animation. Really? Yeah. Text me that, I want to watch it. Okay, and Lost in Translation.

Yeah. How old is this? I don't know. Oh, it's a Studio Ghibli film. Yeah. How old is this? I don't know. Oh, it's a Studio Ghibli film. Yeah. Is it new or probably?

It's old. Super old. I have to see this. It's beautiful. It's beautiful, okay, so what's your third? Oh, I don't know. Okay. Yeah. Jaime?

I feel like I already gave you my three top movies. Okay. Damn. Okay. Damn. Okay, let me see if I can, your attitude, yeah forget it, yeah. Is Three Amigos one of them? No. Okay.

Do you know what that is? Yes. It's like Martin. Yeah. Sorry. I was like where does that come from? What is your top three favorite movies? Yes.

Oh it changes? It changes. It changes. You know what I mean? I can do my just top 10 maybe. Rattle them off. Can you tell me some? Yeah, tell me some. Parasexus, Being There,

I think Hereditary. Oh, I love that movie. I do too. Tony Clutt, what's her name? Yeah, Tony Clutt. She's so good. I love her in the one when Bill... Can I do my list?

Sorry. I mean, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. I think... Yohimbo. Oh, I don't know. It's a Kurosawa film. Yohimbo.

What? It's also known as Yohjembo. Oh. I think't know. It's a Kurosawa film. What? It's also known as Yojimbo. Oh. I think the J is silent. I think Steve Aoki corrected us. Steve Aoki corrected us. Oh, yeah? So Yojimbo.

Oh, that's the last effect. It's surprisingly, they did an American remake called A Fistful of Dollars with Clint Eastwood, but it said, I mean, even in the credits of A Fistful of Dollars with Clint Eastwood. But it's set, I mean, even in the credits of A Fistful of Dollars, it says it's based on Yojimbo. But Yojimbo is surprisingly funny. Even though it's like this dark, violent samurai movie,

they have characters in there that are so fucking funny. It's such a great movie. Anyway, let's move on. Let me give you some of my, I think Young Frankenstein. Yeah. It's just a brilliant comedy movie. It just, it stands the test of time.

Wow. It's so good. Looks good. Or another one I would say is Dr. Strangelove. Strangelove, Stanley Kubrick, and then let's go to, I think, honestly, I think in my list, probably Roll Tenant Bombs, and I like Once Upon a Time in America,

no, in Hollywood and America. Oh, what's that? Once Upon a Time in America is very good. It's a De Niro's in it, James Woods. Cinephile. No I'm not. Sergio Leone. Sergio Leone, it's Leone if you have film.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He did the good, the bad, and the ugly too. Sergio Leone. But that's a great movie. And is that enough for now? That sounds good. That's a lot. Very classy is that enough or no? That sounds good. That's a lot. Very classy.

What? Very classy. Yeah. I don't think it's classy. I honestly think that if you see a movie like Being There, it's got a message that's so deep, but it is sort of at times a light comedy, and I think anyone could get,

even you Jaime could look at it and go, I like it, you know? That movie is, this movie makes me cry. This movie is so good. Can I tell you what it's about? Yeah. So Peter Sellers plays a guy named Chauncey Gardner. Okay, I'm gonna give you the whole thing if anyone wants to listen to it.

And so as an orphan, he was an orphan, just on the streets, maybe five or six years old, this billionaire takes him in. But this billionaire doesn't get him a teacher, he just makes this kid be a gardener. That's why his name is Chauncey Gardner. And this kid learns everything just through television. He never had a teacher, right?

So he doesn't know anything about life. In fact, when the billionaire dies, Chauncey doesn't know what to do, so he just lives there. And then when the real estate people go and they're to sell the house, they kick him out. He doesn't know where to go. He doesn't know any of the rules of modern society. He doesn't know how money works. He doesn't know any of the rules of modern society. He doesn't know how money works.

He doesn't know anything. He's just completely innocent like a child. But because of his detachment to modern rules and etiquette and this and that, he rises. He rises very far. Kind of like a Forrest Gump situation. Yeah, but I think Forrest Gump was really mentally disabled.

I don't know if Chelsea, maybe Chelsea Chauncey Gardner was, I don't know. It's like, Heyman is hope for you. Heyman, whatever your name is. Yeah, Heyman, yeah, that's, you're the Mexican Chauncey Gardner. Yeah, it's hope for you. Yeah, yeah.

You want to remake that movie? With you in it? Yeah. Yeah. I know, but I think conceptually you won Yeah, yeah. You want to remake that movie? With you in it? Yeah. Yeah. I know, but I think conceptually you won't get it. And we need somebody conceptually to get it. But he can't get it. He's going to drive us all to Dallas.

He can't get it. Yeah. Are you going to watch it? You're going to watch it? I'll watch it. It's really sweet. The soundtrack's nice. Makes you cry.

I recommend that movie to any, on my list, I think. Okay. Let the Right One In is one other one. You ever see that? No. Which one? Oh my God list I think. Let the Right One In is another one. You ever see that? No. Which one? Oh my God, you never saw Let the Right One In? We have a name in Chinese,

so I wouldn't remember the English name. Wait, what? Let the Right One In. Let this person in. Let this person in. No, it's a Swedish vampire movie. It's these two kids, and it's a romantic movie. It's so good.

It's so good. Anyway, they remade it called Let Me In in America. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah, so, what? With the hand thing? Every movie has hands.

No, the hands. Yeah, yeah. You mean the hand head thing, you know when they walk around? No. The head. Yeah, yeah. You know when a person has a head and a hand.

Yeah. Yeah. So, you're in a relationship, right? Yes, we'll find out. I know your situation. Yeah, yeah. I know your situation. You know, what do you think I should date? And give me a description of somebody.

Play matchmaker. Yeah, play the matchmaker. Okay. Yeah, what type of person? A type of person. Because you guys know, I mean, I think you, you know me, I think everyone knows me to a degree. So just give me a description of what I should be

going out with. Okay. Yeah. Weird. No, but like quirky, you know, cute, cutie. Are you saying that I'm quirky? No, I think that would match well with you. But so I'm not quirky?

You are, but you're more just, you're Bobby, you know? Yeah. Like you're your own thing. I'm my own thing. But I feel like a girl who's also at a level, you know, that's kind of off beat. Off beat, okay. That's it?

No, no, beautiful, tall. Yeah. Yeah, tall, beautiful, tall. Yeah, tall, I get it. Tall, right? Has to be taller than him? Yes. Yeah, yeah. Can pick him up.

Yeah, very good. How about you? I think you are gonna meet a Gen Z blonde with big tits, but really loves comedy. Who's a big fan of comedy, has a sense of humor, from a small town, tall, blonde, with big tits, big glasses. Yeah, I don't think I should. I don't think I got that right.

A geek, like a very nerdy, with glasses, but it look hotter. Very good, very good. What about you, Jaime? I see you with a lady that's like 5'7". I love the specifics. Keep going. Brunette.

Very good. Maybe in like the school. Maybe in like the school. Maybe in like the school? What school? Like, she works in the school area. Like the- Oh, she works at a school. You know, I see like-

Or around the area of a school. I see a kindergarten teacher or something. Like a principal. Oh, principal. Yeah. No, you have, no. But keep going. Principal.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good sense of humor. Yeah. Good sense of humor. Not big tits, but like- Oh, big. Yeah. No, you have no. But keep going. Principal. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good sense of humor. Yeah. Good sense of humor. Not big tits, but like. Oh, big tits. Why are tits up there? Why do we keep going?

I just, I see it. Okay, can I say something about tits? I thought you were a tit guy. No, I'm not. I've never been a tit guy. I like small tits. Okay, small tits. That's true.

Big ass? Big ass? No, I don't like big ass, like bony ass. Okay, chopstick. Yeah, yeah, chopstick. Like a chopstick. Yeah, I ass. Big ass? No, I don't like big ass, like bony ass. Okay, chopstick. Like a chopstick. Yeah, I picture like tall, skinny for you. Oh, like White Lotus, the little model. Lisa.

From Blackpink? Blackpink is hot, but the model is a buckteeth. I don't know. Oh, Sweeney Sweeney. No, she's blonde. No, no, no, the new one, yeah, yeah, yeah. The White Lotus is the new one. Let me look at it, I don't know.

I'm serious, that would be perfect for Bobby. That girl would be perfect for you. The British actor, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Can you show Bobby? They're gonna show me. Do you like K-pop girls? Yeah.

Yeah, I do. K-pop girls, okay. I see a tall, skinny K-pop girl type. I see this girl. Yeah, no. Yeah. No, get out, move out. What the fuck you?

That's a bad photo. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get a photo. What the fuck you? What? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I want to take a photo of her. I want to take Bugs Bunny. It's insane. She's a great actress. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm sure she's super talented, but it's like. I'm buddy, different folks.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. What about the daughter? What? Forget it. Forget White Lotus. Forget White Lotus. The daughter on season three. Can you pull her up?

Way too young. She's very beautiful, but she's quirky and cute. I swear. Let's move on, let's move on. I went on a date a couple of weeks ago with a full Chinese, only been here for four years. And she, very beautiful. From Asia?

Yeah, from China. Wow. Is China in Asia? No, but like. That's crazy. Like from China, China? She's not just Chinese. No, Cleveland, China.

Oh God. I mean, what are you talking about? Well, just like. Don't be Cleveland. Like fresh off the boat. Yeah, fresh off the boat. She's a, Bobby. Don't be Cleveland. She's still seasick from the boat. Yeah, fresh off the boat. She's a, Bobby. She's still seasick from the boat, right?

Wow. You don't want to cut me. Soaking wet from the boat. Yeah, yeah. First of all, who also stole, I have beanies that are brand new. Somebody here stole them. Did you?

It wasn't me. Me? Did you steal my beanies? I had two brand new beanies, yeah. Hey, remember you wore those new beanies last week? Oh yeah, I found them over there. Are you being real? The orange one? It was an orange one.

I think he's just been taking beanies, thinking they were for everyone. And you took them? No. He thought they were like mints. Where are they then? I think he took them. Where are they?

Here? I think it's not big enough for his head. Okay, I wanna say any clothes in this space is fucking mine. Sometimes just leave them here. What is taking, is that a fucking merch? Did you see Tiger Belly on the bitch? Yeah, it does.

It does? Bitch. No, and we don't have the, I think you buy it. We never pay, yeah, you buy. Fuck Dylan. The beanie. You took it. Just be honest.

It's like a instinct for Mexicans, like oh, I want it. Okay, I see. Thieves. Hey. Yay, anyway. Not thieves, we give it back. Look how pretty she is. Really?

Yeah, she is very pretty. See, she's perfect for you. Yeah, but I, yeah she is very pretty. But I went on this date with a Chinese lady and she, full accent, and I liked her a lot. How'd you meet her? She DM'd me. It was my sister.

Oh, okay, okay. She DM'd me. And you know, we haven't seen each other since, but that night I was like, I could do this. You know what I mean? Does she need a green card? Maybe. Maybe, why?

Honestly. Yeah, so they are gonna give you everything and you take a green card. So I just want you to be aware. Wow. Oh wow! I didn't even think of that, wow. Can I say this though?

She makes really good money. I know, but it's just a... So what happens? It's good. She gets a green card if we get married. But you gotta keep it up for five years. Yeah, yeah. So it's five years of good fucking.

Yeah, it's pretty good. It's very good. Five. Cause you don't have to... That's a Bob Dylan song, right? Yes. Five years of good fucking. Five years of Christmas gifts.

Okay, very good. So you don't think. I think there might be a chance. It's just Asian women, either they kill you or they love you. How'd you get your green card? I got my green card. I was working for an investment, EB5 investment company,

like an investment-based green card company. I was their China liaison. I find a rich Asian people, connect them, and then I got cut off the money. So I was not very poor after college. I was very poor in college. Wow. But I wasn't, yeah, I was a little.

You're really an anomaly. I know how to make money. I can't keep a man, but I can make money. You're in. But I think it's a good news is that girl, if she make good money, you guys could be a better match. She's less insecure. What happened to your ching chong husband?

Is he still around? Oh, fuck him. He's... Have you ever met this ching chong husband? One time you did Yeah, he my my kids start calling zing dad. Whoa Uncle zing is a superhero. He's tall and handsome. He can throw Batman into space bad guy is you my daughter won't see him anymore She he's not there for them when he shows up, he want to be all great. She's like, you haven't seen me for five months.

You know, I'm not gonna be cute for you. Okay. I'm so sorry about that. But my daughter is only four. She said, I like Uncle Z, he got big muscles. Okay. She's only four. Yeah, okay.

She hasn't seen a lot of humans. She's not gay. Okay. So that's what you guys see me with. Yeah, you need someone who's successful. I see you with Asian. Yeah. I can see you with Asian, like nerdy Asian,

like a K-pop type. Or yellow-ish or white girl. When you said that, that's why she reminds me of a K, she's very K-pop-y. Like skinny, tall, and white. She's a little short. She's taller than me, maybe an inch or two, but she's very pretty and she's very like street wear.

Oh. Like really cool street wear. Yeah. I'm excited. I feel like you like that. I'm excited. Yeah, we'll see. But there's another one that I've been hanging out

in Phoenix that I like a lot. Stick to one. I think that's what the issue is. Oh! No! Oh! I like it! Hello!

Tell me what the issues are. Just stick to this one, man. No. I disagree with that. I disagree. Bobby. Play the field. Yeah, play the field.

But he's not that young. He's Asian. He might be speaking. the field. Yeah, but he's not that young. That's even more reason to play the field. You already had enough time to play. You know, he's not big bro talk. Bobby, I think that you don't you don't really like lie to the girls, but you are going to basically see other girls because you can get desperate and keep texting her she'll just be disgusted by you. So you play cool if you have another girl get your attention when you want to text her

back but you can't double text her you want to but then another girl you can go out and get entertained until one day you felt you want to be exclusive and then you have the talk. Okay, I didn't listen to a word you just said but I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna lie.

I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna lie. Because there's no way, I don't think truly you'll know somebody on the first date. So you test them in a variety of situations, and then as you gather the information,

you make a decision based on that. So it's like, no, I date people until I have enough information. And some of them have had been very close, but there was always these red flags, I was like, I can't get past this, and then I move on, you know what I mean? But it's like, yeah, that's what I'm doing. The red flag.

So what I want to say to you is one time, I went on a date with a girl and she's like, why do you have these pretty girls opening for you? That's weird. I go, you know what? You're done. I can't do this. Yeah, that's not good.

It's a red flag for me. Yeah. It's like, I don't give a shit who you hang out with. Just don't sleep with somebody else. Yeah. You know what I mean? Also love me for me. Yeah. don't sleep with somebody else. You know what I mean? I don't care. Also love me for me. Yeah.

Yeah. Don't try to change me. Yeah. Yeah. I also like, you know, some guys have gone like, yeah, I broke up with this girl because she's still in a relationship with her exes. I don't have a problem with that.

Yeah. I mean, they're just talking, right? Yeah. I mean, if I catch you sleeping with your ass, we're done. Yeah. Yeah, but I don't think that, whatever relationships you have with guys, I don't give a fuck.

Yeah, me too. Yeah, anyway, that's just my opinion. I've gotten into fights with other comics with that. I want to name names, because I want to blow it up, but my point is, is that, you know, Alex, stop being a coward. What the fuck? Yeah, whenever I look at you,

I see a cowardly little fucking dumb-dumb. Right? You're, you really, um, I want to tell you about Alex. Okay, please. I don't give a fuck, alright? I want to know. Alex hasn't seen anybody in years, right? He's had amazing hot girlfriends in the past. Yeah, he's turned into a fucking incel, right?

And he now lives in fear, like, I don't know, you know what I mean? Talk to that girl. I don't know, you know what I mean? Talk to that girl. I don't know, you know what I mean? He doesn't want to risk it. It's the fear rejection. It's the fear rejection. It's a real thing. It's a numbers game.

I agree. You have to go to bat, and I've struck it out, even me, you know what I mean? The glorious Bobby Lee has been turned down. No! Turned down many, many times. You know what I mean? Yeah.

Yeah, and I know I'm a god to some people, but it's like I've been turned down. Yeah. Okay, so. What is this? I just think that you would look good with an Asian celebrity. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Anyway, Pete. I was like, I was a good photo. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You thought so? I don't think so. I think so. Yeah, yeah, it looks weird. Why are you laughing so? It looks weird. It looked like in good photo. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You thought so? I don't think so. I think so. Yeah, yeah, it looks weird.

Why are you laughing so much? It looks weird. It look like a photo. Yeah, yeah. Look like a Bobby's photo in Edmonton. On the wall. Yeah. Baby Bobby.

Yeah, so anyway, so let's go back to Alex, okay? Okay. Yeah, yeah. The very good way to divert it from it, but I'm focused, okay. So we know that there's somebody that Alex has a little crushy crush on, right? Ariana.

Let's throw it out there. Let's throw it out there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You feel comfortable about this? This is the way it happens, all right? You're gonna get rejected. I don't think she's gonna like you. But you know what, buddy, I want you to get your first rejection.

I've been rejected before. Oh, you're good. So I'm saying, so the woman that replaced you in that gig, all right, Alex, and whenever I do weekends, Alex and Gilra come out usually, right? So Alex was out there, and he liked her, right? She's wonderful, yeah. Yeah, she's a wonderful lady.

Very funny, big future. So I'm just like, why don't you say anything? He's like, I don't know. He's on the fence and I think this is a good way to get him out there. What do you think? I think so. Yeah, and I'm gonna full blown ask her.

Let him do it. I think he has to do it. Oh, you have to do it before this comes out. Yeah, do it before this comes out. Yeah, do it before this comes out. Yeah, the liaison is crazy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're right, Gilbert. All right, my bad.

We had a whole conversation, remember? We were gonna try to wait, so. No. No, no, no. Wait for what? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll tell you what. Wait for what? Yeah, I'll tell you why, I'll tell you why.

Because she's opening for me at Cobbs this weekend, and Gilbert and Alex are going, right? So he's, what are you going to do this weekend? She'll fill it out. All right. You should ask. Do it, yeah, at the last day, which is Saturday's second show.

Why does it have to be last day? Because if she rejects it on Friday, you still have to be there in the weekend. We're working. In my head I'm like, no, it's going to go well. I didn't even think of rejection. Because you're hot. You have to factor that everybody's as hot as you.

Twenty-nine, whatever. Yeah, it takes you so much. I mean, he's not Andrea hot. I think you may have a chance because female comedian has low standards. Yeah, I mean. Right, she, you know that you're hot. Thank you.

Okay, good. I honestly, I think you look like a twister to me. Oh. Yeah, yeah. Like a full blown tornado. Yeah, she is so hot. I can't handle it. It's like a regular face went into a tornado

and that's what it looks like. Oh no. Yeah, I mean, yeah, whatever. Anyway, so second show, Friday, Saturday night, you try. But if you don't see a window, then get, at least get her number and then call her on a Monday and go, would you like to go on a date?

Right, and why are you on the fence about it? You're scared for him? It's like, just play it cool. It's like all these rules. That makes it so high pressure. I feel like you're being nervous for your friend, right? A little bit. I know, because you know how to do it.

You're married. Yeah. I feel like E.J., you have somebody? No, we broke up. Yeah. Bring it up. Actually, after we talked about it on the married. I feel like E.J., you have somebody? No, I broke up. Yeah. Bring it up. Actually, after we talked about it. Oh, very good.

Right. Yeah. You want to talk about rejection? You want to talk about a guy that's been fully rejected? Talk about George. What? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, there was things in the past,

I was like, wow, I don't know why he didn't kill himself. You saw her. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, there was things in the past, I was like, wow, I don't know why he didn't kill himself. You saw her. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But then he finally found somebody. You saw, oh. Because he would go to bat. Because you gotta keep numbers game. Yeah, it's a numbers game.

Don't give up. Don't give up. That's true. If I can find someone, you can. Alex. I'm the most unfuckable, like I'm a female comedian. No, you're not. I'm single mom, I'm my own cock-a-block.

That's not true. You're a catch. No, you're not. I'm single mom. I'm my own cock-a-bye. That's not true. You're a catch. You got Zayn. I finally got him because I did not give up. Yeah. Yeah, you got to keep... I think you got to like flirt. Yeah.

You know, flirt the whole weekend and then do something at the end. Honestly, I don't find either one of you ladies attractive at all. Okay. I feel like... No, let's be honest. Get it off her chest, dude. Let me express myself. Okay. You know, that's good. You're like my dad. I know. But even if I didn't know you, you'd be somebody I was like, you know what I mean? I love my neighbor. You're my neighbor.

So we're, we're on the island and you would, yeah. We're the three of us are on the island and actually throwing Jaime the island too. Yeah. we're... The three of us are on the island. And actually throw in Jaime on the island too. Yeah, Jaime's so good. Yeah, Jaime and I would have our own little bunker house. Right? I feel like I can motivate them too. Right? To help me build stuff. We'll be on one side of the island, you guys get your own.

Yeah. Okay. And I feel like Jaime and I would thrive. You don't think double China is going to do something? I don't think double China is going to do anything. Tech Team BJ is not going to do anything? Yeah, yeah. I don't think so. Tech gonna do something? I don't think double China is gonna do it. Tech team BJ is not gonna do anything? Yeah, yeah. Tech team BJ. Oh, wow.

Yeah. I feel like you guys would have lesbian love one night. Yeah. I think I would. And I'd fuck Jaime in the ass. Excuse me? Go ahead, Jaime. Yeah, I wouldn't fuck you.

No. Yeah. Thank you. What? He said thank you. No, you guys are attractive, Chinese woman. You get nervous? You're all, you guys are attractive Chinese women. You get nervous?

You guys are so nervous I was so sad. Chinese woman. Yeah, yeah. That was so sad. Do you know my name? Yes. What is it? Adriana. Yeah, okay.

Adriana is good. Alex. Okay. And what's Betty's real name? Jing. Jing Hong. Jing Hong. Jing you don't know their names. Yes No, I do have a speech impediment dyslexia, so like I hear it differently. Oh He does have a speech impediment. I do have a speech impediment, I have dyslexia,

so I hear it differently. Oh, I feel bad. You know what? So I'm gonna tell you their names one more time, and then. Summers. Her name is Jiayin, Jiao Ying, Jiao Ying Summers. Yes. Right, and this is Andrea Jin.

Andrea. Just remember the first name. Andrea. Zhao Ying. Zhao Ying. Andrea. Zhao Ying. Zhao Ying.

We do this often. Really often? Yeah, is that burned into your memory? Yes. Okay, so in a couple of minutes I'm gonna ask you. Jesus Christ. He's gonna fail, I already know. No, no, it'll be fun.

You know what word I can't say that sounds like racist? What? What do you call your spouse? Like your other person, like Zayn. Partner? Boyfriend? Husband. The S word.

Significant other? Yeah, I can't say. Spouse? No, I can't say. Oh, you can't say significant other. Significant other? Try it. No, I'm not gonna say it.

Try it, just try it. I'll say it off camera. We're gonna learn to teach you., I'm not going to say it. Try it, just try it. I'll say it off camera. We're going to learn, we're going to learn to teach you. Okay. You want me to say it, but yeah, we'll cut it out if it's too crazy. Okay. Say it. Everybody say it.

Significant other. Significant other. Significant other. It's a nigga fit. You just said the N word. We might have to cut that out. You just said the N word. We might have to cut that out.

You said a shit N word of fits. Holy shit. That was a good one. You just said the N word! You just said the N word! We might have to cut that. You said a shit, N word of fits. Holy shit. That was a crazy roll call. I was not expecting the fourth one to sound like that. That's how I hear it.

I honestly saw it coming. Because you wouldn't say it. That was insane. I knew something was off with you. I just don't, I don't understand how you say significant other and then you come up with that. Look at it one way, just look at it.

Yes, can you read it? Read it. Just even say it that way. Yeah, say it like that. Say sig. No, no, just let him do it. Go ahead. Sig-ni.

Say the F. O. O? O? To G? Sig-nif-ent. Now look at me right now, say it faster. Oh, oh! Oh, to G? Yeah, yeah. Signif... Incant. Now look at me right now, say it faster. Signif-icant.

Wow! Wow! We're solving racism. That was better. Your wow was too much. Ah, ah, ah. Signif-icant. It's significant. Signif-icant.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait, now you can't hear Now what are their names? Go ahead. Um, Ardiana. What's her name? Jinyoung. Close enough. Ji means whore, ya means itchy. You just call me an itchy whore.

Thank you. You are an itchy whore. I don't know. I'm not an itchy whore. I'm an itchy whore. I'm an itchy whore. I'm an itchy whore. I'm an itchy whore.

I'm an itchy whore. I'm an itchy whore. I'm an itchy whore. I'm an itchy whore. I'm an itchy whore. I'm an itchy whore. I'm an itchy whore. I'm an itchy whore Close enough. Ji means whore, Yang means itchy. You just call me an itchy whore. Oh, right, man. Thank you, you speak...

You are an itchy whore. I don't think I'm itchy. Wait, what's my name? Jaime. Jaime. Thank you. How do you spell it? Jaime, AKA Bob Dylan. No, no, oh, really, we're going to spelling now?

Yeah, because look. No, fuck you, you can't even remember her name. Okay, Ergiana. Oh! It's not. Wait, say it one more time, please. No, no, no, we're not saying it again. Wait, forgive me. No, you're forgiven.

You are forgiven, but, okay, can you say that? Adriana. Yeah, sure. You know what, I'll take it. Yeah, we'll take it. It's fine. Yeah, yeah, that's great. Wait, hold on.

It's because I'm dyslexic. Okay, I thought Andrew was like a- I'm so sorry, sorry, yeah, right. It's okay. Whoa, great website. Wow, great website. Okay, can you say... I don't like the website.

Can you say the... Is that photo doctored? That's real. Look at me right now. Is that photo doctored? Was doctored, like a... Changed. Yasified?

No, it's just made cartoonyish. Cartoonish. It was my photo. But you didn't do anything with the like, your jaw line or any of that? No, that's what I look like. That's what you look like? Okay, yeah, like turn me to like that.

Andrea? He's obviously trying to practice her name. Yeah, okay, okay, I believe it. He got my name. What is it? He just said it. Oh my God. He did it!

Wow! Very good. I saw the picture, so I'm like, oh, that's not her, so. Oh my God. I don't know how your mind works. I think we should do a study. That's how he learned a logic. You gotta do a study.

That's how he learned? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, you gotta get the guy. Can you see that? The top, right here. Can you zoom in? Zoom in. Why is there an X on top of the dot?

It's a dot, it's a dot. It's a dot, think of it as a dot. It's an I with a dot. Jung Yang. Very good. That's good I with a dot. Jung Yang. Very good. That's good. That's good.

Wow. The class is over, we're not doing this anymore. We're not teaching you anymore. I think you've learned. When are you gonna find your other significant other? Significant other. In context. You know, I'm okay, honestly, I'm okay being alone.

Oh, the other day, something happened. I'm okay being alone. Oh, the other day something happened. So I'm hanging out with this girl. What was that? I was coughing. I know what you were on. I was coughing. So we eat this hamburger, right, which is really good.

Like it was a smash burger, but it kind of rattled my stomach in a weird way. So we eat this hamburger, right, which is really good. Like it was a smashburger. But it kind of rattled my stomach in a weird way. And then we had sushi after that. And then at the end of sushi, they served this ice cream, you know I'm lactose. And she's driving, right? And then we're in the car, and as soon as we're maybe two minutes away from the restaurant,

my stomach goes, all right, let's go, turn the machines on, or whatever, it's a factory, and all the people are clanking and clanking, right? And then all of a sudden, there's a countdown in my stomach. And it literally was an eight minute countdown until I can't hold the dam, okay? As soon as we pull up to my hotel room, it was coming.

And I go, oh, I can see you later, I can make dinner. And it was literally, as soon as I got in my room, that was the time. I couldn't have held it further. I barely made it. Oh my God, don't you, that's never happened to you. Yes, yeah. Well, but't you, yeah, that's never happened to you. Yes, yeah. Well, but if you are like farting in the bathroom in your boyfriend's house,

you have to put a napkin on your asshole to muffler the sound. So it's like a, not like a, it's like a. Oh, you do that. Yeah. You put napkin in your butthole. What? When you're farting.

When that works? It's just like, it's like, when they go, you know, it's like. Yeah, we get, we understand the farting. When you're farting. That works? It's just like, it's like, when they go pfft, you know, it's like. Yeah, we get, we understand the fart noises. You keep doing it as if we don't know. Yeah. When you fart, you don't cup it

or spread your cheeks to dead in the sound. Okay, here's the thing. I have no control over bladder. That's my issue. With butthole, full control. Wow. Like, we're talking. Fuck you, we have full control too.

No, no, like to a point where I'm surprised, you know? I don't even know how that's possible, but I will pee my pants. It's like when Wolverine first discovered his claws. Yeah, I didn't even know I had power. You know what I mean? He went zing, and he He went sing and as a kid it was like, wow. But where I pay is my bladder is not good. Like I peed my pants so many times

and I wet the bed till I was like 10, you know? Okay. I have no bladder control. But the smell of bladder is, I have to pee is different than poo, don't you think? Yeah, there's no smell for a pee. Exactly. Yeah. Have you shit your pants? Yeah, there's no smell for pee. Exactly. Yeah.

Have you shit your pants? No, I pee my bed till I was 11. Where, yeah. I knew we had something. No one even asked for that, that's crazy. Yeah, it's crazy. But pooping. And we're not shocked by it at all.

Okay. Anyway, do you guys want to plug anything? Oh, I am on tour. JiaoYinComedy.com or SummersComedy.com. Coming all over America, Asia, Australia, everywhere. Amazing. And I am also my podcast, Tiger Mom podcast. How's that doing?

It's doing good. We are getting some things. Thank you. Anyway, Andrea? I'm on tour. One day? Yeah, no, because the website's not as good, but Go to, wait, can you go to, wait have you, can you go to, how was he, what's his name?

Can you go to Beacon's? Oh, Corden, he was very nice. Yeah, he, I've worked for him once before, he's super nice. Yeah. So, Beacon's. Beacon's Andrea Jin, please. Thank you. Just go, we just say it, I don't want to, okay. Okay, okay, I'm on tour, I am going to many places. Hi Mae. Rob's getting back on tour in April. You got a podcast? Oh yeah, we do have a podcast called the Fat Fish Podcast. Yeah, go check it out.

Nice. We're going to get, we're going to... Am I still getting on after I insult you? No, yeah, we're still getting on. Cool, cool. Okay, so how did you guys feel about this podcast? I thought it went you. No, yeah, we still getting off. Cool, cool. Okay, so how did you guys feel about this podcast? I thought it went well.

Yeah, me too. It was really good. I loved it. I thought it was really fun. Yes. I've bonded. Wait, can I plug San Diego? No.

Because of you? No. You're San Diego? Okay. Okay. I'll be in San Diego. Okay. And you're in? April. Yeah. Thank you. April. Thank you, April. Are you selling out? Yes, mic drop. Mic drop.

I sold out Wicked in Edmonton, like 1,200 people. Amazing, congratulations. I don't even know if there's an agent there, but there's not. How are you doing numbers wise, getting better? It's not great. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sounds like I cannot find it.

You're the best. If you guys don't watch, she's the future. Thank you. You're a rising star. Yes. And then so is Jaime. So anyway, congratulations on the Fat Fish podcast. And then when I come to, I think I'm gonna go Dallas.

Can I do your podcast? Yeah, yeah, both can do the podcast. Not at the same time. Oh, not at the same time. Anyway, give them a round of applause, everybody. Woo! Thank you!