TigerBelly - Little Belly Episode: Titty Juice Fever
Episode Date: February 8, 2017In this mini episode, tensions run high and the Captain and Mama air out some issues. We will return next week healthy, strong, with a vengeance. Thanks for your patience and love guys. We ho...pe this is our first and last truncated show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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We built this city
We built this city on rock and roll we built this city
One of my favorite tunes it doesn't make any sense that song
Think about that song guys to build a building you need materials anyway
Do you need buildings for cities and you can't build a building with notes?
Do you mean no this is rock and roll rock and roll you make notes oh with music? Yeah
And it doesn't make any sense, but you know what we sing in anyway
You know why because it's it's it's it's it's it's metaphors
It's metaphorical am I not right but rock and roll gives people that motivation exactly talks about the hard man's life
Exactly, baby moves them to build things. I know like Bruce Springsteen. Yes, and
That's why we're here. That's why we're here. Um, you know who's not here. I
Tell you who's not here Gilbert. I'll tell you why because he's not 100% in it
He's not dedicated to it. I had a bunch of shit to do today
But you know what I said, you know, I'm gonna do the podcast
But he has family somewhere in Orange County somewhere and he's like I can't do it. I go that's where your heart is
His heart is with family. His heart is not in the game
And it really breaks my heart and you know what that's his one out
What do you mean? That's his one time he gets out of this podcast. So that's strike one
He only gets that's that's the only one he doesn't get three strikes in my fucking game
He gets one strike one out with medical things are that's if he okay. He said to me like this. He said
Hey, um Bobby
My dad he's dead. I
Be like, oh, you okay
You can't do the podcast
No
When's the funeral? Hey, don't say just listen. I'm just playing the scenario out. I don't want that to happen, right?
I'm nervous Thursday, but tonight. I can't I gotta fly to Chicago. That's completely a good excuse
But I just found out I have
AIDS and cancers
That's both under the doctor. I have both I could you gonna die tonight?
No, you're doing the podcast
You know what I'm saying, I mean we this is this is do or die right here, and I
I just don't like his heart
So you're upset because I just got discharged from the hospital, and I'm here
Kalyla has
Really severe things happening with her health
I don't know if we want to get into it, but it's really
Disturbing I guess we can just because it's interesting it is interesting and it's rare
You know, so let's cut to can we just I can give him a quick synopsis. Let me start it. Can I start it?
Yeah, she wanted her titties bigger
years
2013 she thought that she needed did titties. I didn't I didn't need them
She didn't need them, but she wanted bigger titties, and I met her and I'm like don't get the big titties and she's like
No, I'm gonna get I already put a down payment, right?
So I go fuck. I guess you're gonna have big big titties and ever since the titties it's been
It's just been a battle
Physically and this new thing is that we got the titties out and then
Let me go ahead. Go ahead. I love them me them your titties
So you talk about your titties, but I do appreciate that you like to speak on behalf of my titties. Yeah
Well, we have a president a new president. So, you know, you might as well own me
Yeah, I'll put me in shackles. I think it's totally acceptable at this point. Yeah
So a
last Friday this past the Friday that just passed I had a colonoscopy because
Should I say it? Yeah, go
Because I had basically been shitting blood for a whole month
Yeah, and so I didn't want to really, you know, talk about it because I was like, ah, you know like I'll talk about it
When we figure out what it is, right?
So they put this fucking scope up my asshole a few hours later
I come home and all of a sudden all my joints are inflamed like I physically could not bear the pain and
I had a random fever my fever started to go up. I was like, oh shit
They perforated my bowel like they probably like poke through my colon and now I have an infection, right?
That's what I thought but then my left boob
started to fucking shit like
Like engorge like a melon just my left boob. Mm-hmm, which is like
Eh pretty cool. I mean sexually though. It's like it's like a Picasso painting, right? Yeah
Yeah, it's like Picasso. Yeah, go ahead and you know just to remind you guys I no longer have implants in here
I got the implants removed a year ago
And so I was like what the fuck so I wake up the next morning and my boob is
Quadruple the size of the other one. Yeah, and my joints are just absolutely on fire
So I go to the ER and I'm like look like my titty is growing, you know
Basically
So they do an ultrasound and it turns out that there's just this large collection of fluid there
So they culture the fluid and and it turns out it's actually very rare to find it inside the boob
But I have a pseudomonas infection
Pseudomonas is found in like water aquariums and things it's not it's not like staph
Staphylococcus or strep where it's normally or E. Coli that need that can be found in the human body
Pseudomonas is outside of the body
So for it to be introduced found so deep within my breast is a little suspicious
Mm-hmm, like how the fuck did it get there types? Well, I've been injecting you with pseudomonas for the last six months and
I get I went too far and went too far with it
You've been poisoning you with pseudomonas. What is is that what you said pseudomonas?
Pseudomonas aerogenosis, and then I saw it though. I was at the hospital
So they drained on Friday. They drained my right my left breast
Yeah, and Bobby was there for it and they took out like 75
CCs of just fucking like brown fluid and yeah, Bobby kept asking the surgeon can I take it home?
Can I take it? I'm like China put his nose up in there
It's not anything but but I'm sure we could have used for it
How what would we give it away to fans? No, but it's like yeah with that one
We could put it in like a vial glass vial necklace. Yeah, you know like a blood pack except it's a bacteria. Yeah
Yeah, so that's what happened
That's what happened on Friday, so I thought my titties drained my titties drained
I'm free to go, but then over the course of the whole weekend up until today. I've been running a high fever and
My titties start growing again
So I'm like what the fuck is going on so I go back
I was in the hospital all day today and sure enough all that fluid had re-accumulated
And I guess now I need a fucking surgery to remove
The whole mess that's in there
Dude, you're fucking up my vibe right now
Why because we don't have the usual mics and and the ear stuff
Yeah, and so when you tune out and like I'm not I'm listening 100% but kind of where I need Gilbert
Because you don't listen to me half the time, which is fine. Yeah, but at least you know Gilbert looks me right in the eye
Yeah, yeah, I'm like I just something crazy just happened, but okay. I'm done
What do you mean? You're having I just saw what that conversation was. No, here's what it is
Hear me out. It's been you Steven Eric Griffin. I can't play dude. No. No. No, no
Girls titties got juice in it. No, no, no
Eric Coke Eric Steve Frank, whatever its fucking name is
They're all on a destiny. What do you get message group thing group chat chat and since I'm not playing destiny more
I'm constantly in the group chat and I get these messages and I literally
Just said take me off this thing because I can't deal with it anymore. Okay, and I'm listening to everything
So that was a big thing that some shit just went down right now. You just said that I understand that but the thing is
That's the shit that went down. Yeah
It went down. It went down. All right. All right. You angry. This is so weird. Just talking to you
I don't feel right. Why am I why is there lip sweating?
Oh, because I have a fever you bastard. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's right. God damn it. But any hoot. Um
Why does it look Stanley Tucci? No, you don't look like Stanley Tucci. I look tuchier than other days
You're very tuchy today. Yeah, but not exactly like tuchy, but um
It's been a you know
it's been a
difficult time I have to say and um
It's just terrible
you know
It's terrible and I um
But you know, we we all thought the reflect though. We had to reflect on
the world and
We saw that documentary on james foley
It's called jim called jim. Yeah, it's a story about james foley the american
Conflict journalist who got beheaded
By eyes as he was the only one out of like the 19 prisoners actually he was
Well, there was another guy who got killed but out of 19 prisoners
It was him and the british guy who got beheaded because you know, we don't negotiate with terrorists at all
But all the other guys got freed but him. Yeah, and though the swedish dude a couple others
They get freed because the government their governments figure out a way to negotiate with these people
I I I I say negotiate because
James foley number one
He it just he comes from a good family his parents love him
He's got brothers and a sister and he's the fucking guy's getting beheaded. That's where we're at
Well, we can't go
Here's a hundred thousand dollars or whatever it might be, you know, but then you
That gives them incentive to always have to always capture people and to hold that lever. They're gonna capture americans
I says if they see an american, they're gonna capture them
regardless
Okay, so it's like but less likely so if they think that they're not gonna get any
No, they do it out of a political they don't really get money. There are two things are they do need money though
We need money or be free beheading like, you know video, right? Which is this one? Well, I drank some of it
Yeah, drink it
Okay, what happened coconut water coconut water. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Anyways. Yeah, but you I just say negotiate
I say don't because america's are really like let me say you get captured now
Do you still have the same point of view? No, I think that we should probably set in place something that's
Separate from the government where you can raise that type of public funding to to what's the difference?
It's not coming from the government. It's not coming from
I don't know for me. I think that um, that's what the family tried to do and it's really sad because they did try to match
the captors
You know a hundred million hundred million euro though, which is a lot
Yeah, you know in countries like sweden all those they're smaller countries, you know, it's um different
I don't I don't know. I feel like different rules apply. Yeah, but it's to me
A life is worth. Absolutely. You're not wrong there
I'm just saying there are organizations in the united states that are meant to negotiate that they're not government related
That are meant to help people in that type of I would but here's the lima and here's the thing with james foley
is that he was just so stoic
and brave and calm and calm
and
Automatically when you're seeing that
I question what what I would do
Right. Yeah, and I would be offering my butthole
I suck all your dicks right now every for eternity. Don't kill me
You could just everyone just stick it in my mind. I feel like they would kill you much sooner
They're like they hate the gays, babe. They'd kill you first. I don't know. I would just be like
Well, just fuck me in the ass and
Is that good? Is that good? Is that still good? They honestly they'd kill you by fucking you in the ass
They'd fucking I'd rather get fucked in the ass by to death then get beheaded on tv. Really just don't televise it
So I also I will cry
I'll slap bubbles. I'll beg. I'll say things. I don't want to you know
Please don't you know, I like
Really? Yeah, he was you think you'd be stoic. Hell. No, I'd be frightened. But I think that is so scared
There's probably a point because he had already been in prison for a whole year previous
Previous to his beheading. Yeah, there has to be some he has to have
Have adapted or had some sense of like acceptance in that whole year like I'm never getting out of here
Like he's probably come to terms with it a little bit better than someone who just got captured
Who's still in a frenzy or maybe I would because I know this is my last shot on tv
It's your last shot, right? Yeah, like this is my last, you know
I would probably do something funny
Like what?
We like when he's cutting we or I don't know what I would travel to we
Are you on me?
Yeah
More more feels good or whatever just to get a laugh
No
would you
Yeah, I would think it's just something like even though it would hurt that bad. I'm like this is gonna kill, you know
Maybe I would do that
No
Yeah, I don't know or some say something prophetic. I wouldn't think of anything
To be or not to be that is the question
I mean if you've had you've been able to sit you've had a whole year in a jail cell to think about your final words
Like come on Bobby. I think you can come up with something better
No, or I you know what would happen. It's happening. I'll open my mouth and shit will just come out
Like my you know, I mean, I'll be so nervous that like just different things are coming out of different holes. Yeah, you know
Anyway, yeah, I don't know but it that the documentary made me cry tonight. I oh my god. So fucking heartbreaking
Yeah, I feel almost guilty for like making light out of that situation because that was really pretty brutal
Yeah, I wasn't making light. I was I'm sorry
If you're any anyone from that family the foley family, I I honestly
I am so sorry that that that you had to live that I mean it is
And you know and when you're watching this and you just see just how I mean what ISIS is a gang a really bad
bad
organization
And I'm there. They're evil. I mean, I'm so I'm not how I was to say it, you know
So I understand why
In politics they use them to you know
Like, you know trump to instill fear and to to but it's like you shouldn't do that either, you know
It's just it's really just a bad
I have to be honest with you. This has been real fucking
scary
You know, it's like
What's going on? It's like that Putin
The murdery that guy that's like, you know coma because he poisoned him and then like Trump's like we're killers too
It's like why don't say that? Can I can I just can I interrupt for one second? Yeah
Any other episode I would probably be more inclined to discuss this with you
But because I'm running a fever. Yeah for the love of fucking god, Bobby. Yeah, can we not talk?
Politics today, can we talk about plastic?
Plastic what in the oceans now you care about the environment. I just saw that documentary plastic ocean
There's like 90
Plastic bottles, you know why there's 90 plastic bottles in there. So it doesn't get into the ocean
So you never throw them. Yeah, I'm gonna just hold on to all the things so that I know exactly where my plastic is
So that like the seagulls don't eat them. So you're gonna fill this whole plot house. I yeah, I cannot do it
I cannot have the seagulls start because like they eat it
You know, they open up little birds and like there's like, you know a lighter inside their stomach
This is this is so this is a funny thing about Bobby. Yeah, okay now make fun of me and say that I'm a bad person
You're not a bad person go ahead
But he he wants to be the one to come up with the idea if you introduce him to the idea of
plastics in the ocean
Or new music or anything else any new idea. Okay
He will he will tune you out and then about a year later. He's like, do you know plastics in the ocean is the more is a problem
Okay, and as if we've never had a conversation before because I've been begging to ask for a water filter in that sink
So we stopped buying plastic bottles. Okay
I saw Aaron Brockovich
Okay, and
Ever since I saw Aaron Brockovich, I cannot eat faucet water. I don't want to get what they got
I know but we can get a filter. I know but I I saw it
And it's real and I don't want to get sick and then have like some lawyer come over here and fight for my rights
And then have them go. We got you 30 million up, but I'm dying, you know, whatever. Yeah, all right
So that's that and also on top of it when people say things like there's plastic in the ocean. You could be lying
Just let's hear me out. All right. It's like you saying hey, you know avocados. There's like a bola in them
Right like what you know, and then if I saw a documentary and it's like there's some a bola in avocados
I don't believe you when I introduce a new idea. You think automatically I'm lying. No, I just I don't think that you're lying
I just don't think you're being truthful
You know and there's a difference
No, I just you know, it's more believable to believable to me when I'm watching a documentary
I I'm I'm a big fanatic a documentary fanatic. I've seen all of them. I feel like
It's my favorite medium, you know, throw me a fucking documentary. I've seen it. No, I know hyper normalization
That's the one you need to see sir. Oh my god the way you said I don't like when people do that
See you introduced a new thing. I know it's not the way it's the way he said it hyper normalization
You got to see it right now. So I'm gonna let you write no right now
He's gonna he might watch it six months from now. He's gonna be like, yeah, it's not that good because he didn't find it first
This is just the Korean way guys. This is not
You know, it's it's the pride of getting it first
Knowing it first. Yeah, and can I say this? It's a fucking
character defect
Okay, I have a lot of fucking problems
And one of them is
That what are you doing to solve the problem? What's up? I'm not nothing
I like that about me because I have a fever right now and my mind's buzzing
Yeah, I'm gonna lay out a few questions for you. Okay, go ahead. So every other episode you talk about these
Supposed character defects that you have. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah
Um
Every other episode you talk you cry foul about plastics in the ocean dogs in eulen or or trump, right?
What do you do in your daily life to address all these character defects and all these things that you cry foul about?
Well, I vocalize them on a podcast that people can hear me say it and I think that you mobilize them to change
But yet, you know what? I for me what I am. I'm just a messenger
All right, what I am is I'm being a conduit a conduit to God
Right and so I think I'm doing let me say something right now. All right
Let's be difference between me and my dad
Let's see my dad. Right. What is my dad gonna do?
No, he's sick, but let's say when he was healthy when he was healthy, right?
Even if he read all these things and knew about these things
He starts a podcast what five people are gonna listen. Come on. Let's be real, right?
Probably more
Yeah, but now he's not gonna do like the numbers that papa gets
Right on tiger belly
So my point and all you listeners right now you're listening to my voice and I hear you because I go on the road
And you guys talk we talk we hug, right? We get it and they know that I'm a conduit
Because I'm the slept king
That's right, and that's for real. He sleeps on all the world's issues. No, I don't sleep. What he's bitch. You're so dumb, dude
You don't even fucking know dude
Here's the real you want to hear the real I want to hear the real the real is this I sleep, right?
and
I'm not sleeping though
What I'm doing is I'm like all this energy
Information information
I'm like a fucking sleeping computer. They just I absorb information
And I wake up and a little light comes out of my eyes when I open my you don't know
This because you're not there when I wake up
But little lights come out of my eyes beams beams of light
Right because there's so much information and then I just say it on the podcast
Right and then I go out and I say it to my fans when I'm on the road or whatnot
And I think it's working. So what you're saying to me is is that I'm not doing shit
I'm doing a lot because people know about the slept king
People touch me and I touch you and we're all connected
All right, and if you ever tell me not to fucking touch the table again, you piece of shit. All right
Well, I touch the table. What happens?
It makes a noise. It makes a noise. Sorry my bad. It gets in the way because Gilbert's not here
We have to fucking use this ghetto ass bullshit, right and fuck you Gilbert
For not even being here. Okay, so that's what I'm doing. Let me and what I'm asking
Let me ask you what you're doing. What are you doing? What are you doing? You want to know what I do every day?
I use
I recycle uh-huh me too. No, you fucking don't I got you that recycling fucking in my house
Right, I mean we have to go to the court to figure out that all all that shit
I do beach cleanups. I do beach cleanups too, bitch. You don't know what I do in my sleep
See the sleep king what you don't get is is that I also can you know
Trend I come out of my body. There's a spirit that comes out and I'm on the beach my other spirit
My sleep spirit is on the beach cleaning shit up. My point is is that that's a lie
What about the character flaw part like you always say like people always give you credit like I love Bobby because he's very
Honest about like his character defects and he's really humble and I feel like you only say those things to be humble
But for no other for no other reason. I don't even think you even
Care to change or to be better
So you say all of that so that you get a praise like all we love you then break up with me
Why I'm just if I'm a bad person break up with me
This is what he does
This is always what he does. You know what he does when I say if I'm evil if I'm evil
I'm lazy and I don't contribute
This is why
This morning I got the news about first of all, okay, just hold on. I'm not gonna get into it that deep
I don't want to fight and I don't want to if I you bringing up morning though. It's already now a fight. So go ahead
Okay, then I don't want to bring it up. No, you're gonna have to bring it up now. No, we're not gonna fight
I want not gonna fight on the air
I'm gonna fight off air
Go ahead. I was having a meltdown earlier. I was crying in bed for about an hour
And because I just got some news. I didn't want on the telephone health related
And I was just really bummed out because all these things is just cascade of events just happening
And I'm like, what the fuck does my body hate itself? Like I can't seem to catch a break, right?
Not to overdramaticize it, but I'm just I've just been bummed, right?
and so
In that moment I tell bobby like fuck like this is what's happening any kind of like just
Just taps me and then just goes back to sleep, you know, hold on
Just let me finish my story because I'm getting paler and paler by the second and it's just my anger is coming out
And I cried to him about it. I was like look in that in that window of time in that hour
I just needed you to be just emotionally there
Like to just give me a little bit of like even a hug. I didn't need you to say anything
To touch me and say hey, it's okay. Like we'll get through it anything
Any fucking morsel of comfort that he was willing to throw my way
That's when I needed it, right?
So I addressed that and I say hey
That's I just need that and his response was I am who I am
I'm not the nurturing type. This is who I am if I don't match what you need then break then maybe we shouldn't be together
Versus saying
You know what? Yeah, like maybe I should have been
You know, maybe I should have rolled over and said hey babe. Like I'm sorry, you know
so
That's that's really all the fight was about and then
I end up apologizing
An hour later because I'm like, I'm sorry that I blew up
You know, I'm sorry that I it's always me apologizing for feeling bad
and
That's I guess I have resentments about that is because when I finally do voice out
Things that affect me or things that I feel like I need more from you
And you say I am who I am and I'm not changing if you don't like it get out
You know, and I finally I finally, you know muster enough. That's not what that's not what
Okay, this is it. Okay
I'm sorry
Okay, but I not just to hear me out. I'm manipulative
And I and I say things to manipulate you so that I don't have to
address my own
Frailties and my character defects. You're right. Okay
So in that way
These are things that I need to work. Okay
I can I can get into why what happened this morning
From my point of view, but I don't want to
And still there's a part of me that feels like I'm right
but
At the end of the day when it comes down to it. I wasn't the wrong
I should have manipulated you in that way
and um
You know, I um
Yeah, I I fucked up, you know, but
I did wake up this morning and then I'm like, do you need a ride?
Because you needed to go to the hospital and they're like, no, my sister's coming
But that was an hour. Yeah, but can I just say something too though? It's is that
What what time was that?
At 10 30 right? I didn't go to bed till nine. I didn't know that. All right. So all right. I was
Nine o'clock. I went to bed
And so I was just finally deep asleep
I wake up to this. I'm so tired, right?
And I'm hearing it. And so I just remember going
Do you know rye? No, my sister's and I don't know what happened, but
I heard what was going on and I know that it was bad
But I just felt back asleep. I don't know what happened
And then at one point I got it back up and I I try to touch her, you know
And I know that this happened because I remember you telling my body
You know, this is fucked up, right?
So touch her and then I think you were just adjusting your arm or whatever
But you moved your arm away from my arm, right?
And then I'm like, oh, she doesn't want my you know, man thing
So then my body was like slap can go back to sleep. So I went back to sleep, right?
And then a couple hours later or like an hour later
Then you had a really breakdown. You broke down and then that's when I woke up
And I went oh, I fucked up
You know, but it's not because I
Don't care. It's just that
I don't know how to be nurturing in that way
And also, but I just no, no, no, no, I do that's why I ended up apologizing is because
You you've not not been there for me. I that that never was what I'm saying, right?
I you take me to the emergency room when my heart goes, you know a wall
You take me every time you you drive fast. You're frantic with me. You stay up with me till
12
Pete, you know what I mean? Yeah, you stay out. You stay up with me. I'm not saying all what my only complaint was
This morning. I'm not I never said that you were a shitty person, you know
And but also this weekend too what I'll have to have resentments than myself
Is is that you have people coming over because you were sick all weekend
And by the way, I had a brutal cold myself, right? I
I had to do Rob Schneider show Friday and I was literally didn't sleep and I was sick as a dog like I
Could barely move and I went all the way over there and I shot all day
I don't know how I don't even remember
What I shot because I was so sick. I had to cancel to my spot
and then then she was sick all weekend and then um
But then she does this thing where like jessus coming over
And my sister's coming over my mom's coming because you don't know how to take care of me
Right, so then I'm sitting there in the room and then she has people just watching movies with her or like rubbing her back
And then it makes me feel like I don't like I don't know how
When she says I don't know how to take care of her. I don't know exactly what she wants me to do
Right, so then it's like I don't it wasn't something that you had the patience to do
So what happened over the weekend was that all my joints my whole body became inflamed and
So painful George like even like meds like toradol
Unrelieved the pain right so in order to for me to feel better
Seriously around the clock you would just have to like punch my joints like this because I felt
Like they were restless and burning and I seriously thought I had some like auto-immune. Yeah, but I was sick myself, right?
Like I'm my body's weak
You know I have this cough. I'm like deathly ill
Exactly. That's why I didn't want you to do the work. So instead it's the way you say it's like you said but you say it in a way like
You don't know how to do it
You know what I mean? It's like but if I say that Bobby, I say it in jest
I never say it the way you say it. I say it in like a funny way like
And it's true because even when they were gone. I was like, hey, can you punch my my joints?
And then when they punched it for 30 seconds and you went back to I count
Seven minutes sometimes I count
Okay, can we just stop
What fighting? I'm not fighting. It makes me sad. Yes. I thought we're not bothered that my family comes over. No, I know
I'm not bothered but see what that's what I'm saying
I'm saying here's what we're saying. Oh, yeah. Well, this is what we are. Who's we you and I oh together, okay?
that we're a couple
and
we're doing great
and we can
Say our little resentments
And what's bothering us and you guys get to enjoy you guys get to enjoy it and cost of my tears
Yeah, and we and we are just working through our problems
And relationships are difficult
And I've never been good at it. This is the longest relationship. I've ever had
I the two years is the tops for me
And this is almost double that
And I'm doing it. I'm gonna I want it to make I want to make it work
That's not because it's not like I'm gonna make it work like it's a like a chore. No, I want it to work
because I love her and
I think that she is
The greatest thing that's ever happened to me and not only that is make like people around me also love her too
Which is an asset
My manager you can't live without her people know that right. I can't live without her
So it's like
But you know, I'm not nurturing. I'm not a tittiesucker
And you know, I guess I'm my titty right and I'm not I'm not I don't know how to do
Intimate shit, you know, I'm not a good massager. I'm not a good
Yeah, because you force me. I don't want to do it. But honestly, yeah, he may hate it
But he is it's like you play with my hair. Well, fuck
Uh, but you know, man
But I'm not I've never I will never be that you see how I'm touching you right now. Did you see that he goes?
Yeah, I mean
I will never do that. So that's twice the love by doing it at all
To see that's exactly why I love you george. Get the fuck out of here. Get the fuck out of town. My point is this
I'm sick and you're not on my side. I'm still sick too. But god, it's got it
Can I just have can I have this? Yeah, I think I'm sicker than you just a little bit, no
Yeah, I'm just telling you that I'm sick also. You have a fucking cold, bro. Yeah. Yeah, I have a fucking titty juice flying out my nipples
Titty juice
You know, this is a weird part. Would you give me a beverage? You got me a red bull? Yeah, I got that for everybody
I just did that time. Oh, we're on a cool guy, man. What a real cool guy
This is weird doing it without Gilbert. We need him. No, no, no, this is better because if he's not here
If he's not here, him and I will always argue and fight
Gilbert's a good buffer for that because who the fuck wants to hear an hour of our relationship shit
We just did that right now and that shit's like, yeah, but it doesn't matter what it is what it is
Okay, I'm not also on top of it. I don't give listen
I'm gonna fucking do this podcast the way I fucking want to do it. All right, and also on top of this
I'm just gonna say this and that's
This week alone. I did one two three four fucking podcast promoting this fucking shit right here
Okay, what is fucking flat face Gilbert done?
Not even showed up for this bitch. Okay. He hasn't even showed up to this bitch
All right, I'm working hard for the company
I'm working hard for the fucking cause
And I'm sick and my girlfriend happens to be sick also
Okay, not as sick, but you know, but she just happened to be so yeah
He was sick first in all fairness. He was definitely sick first. Yeah, and then and then your sister goes
You know what your sister said to me the other puts me out. She goes
You know you you get sick a lot like it's when you say that a lot too
You do get sick. I understand that I do. Do you know why why?
And ask any comedian
We're at comedy clubs, right and especially the mic at the comedy store
That's the same mic they use for open mics. Oh, all right
That's great. So you have eight comics open mics using that mic, right?
And then during the night you have at least four or five right before you
Whoever's playing there at midnight is fucked, right? And it's it's a fucking cesspool of germs
Not only that when I go on the road, I shake hands with like
200 people a fucking night
Right, and I don't want to be like like um howie mendel. I'm gonna work gloves
He wears gloves and hand sanitizer. He won't even touch him. Yeah, what does he do with the mic?
I think he sprays it down. I don't yeah, but I'm not that weird either. I don't do that
My point though is is that I'm around a lot of people and it's like I get sick a lot
But it has nothing to do with my I'm a frail
human being who's susceptible
All right, so tell your sister and also what your sister did today and gave me a fucking
What she gave me the fucking stink eye today, man
You're so sensitive
How is it that you're the one crying now?
See that's the why that's the why of
And this is the why the win and the what where?
Did he do
No, that's not that's he just
This is what I am
At the end of the day
You had to always I always have to
This is what I am at the end of the day. You had to always I always have to win
I was the wind
You know what? Fuck you, George
Fuck you, George
Now listen
Literally that has to be it because I gotta go now. What time is it?
I shows at 10. Sorry guys. We have a mini episode guys. This is the this is
This is what happened colloquial gut to cheat colloquial gut sick
Gilbert couldn't make it. I had to go do a show
Today is the only time we're going to do it this way
But it's going to be a short one because of the fact that I just have to go and um, I don't have the time
And I don't have the energy. We don't have the energy but tonight but this weekend
I'm going to be at the San Jose improv
The weekend after I'm going to be at the Schomburg improv
March 23rd
March 3rd to the 5th, Houston improv. Yeah, like Eric Griffin
Hey, Gookie
Nice to hear from you. This is Eric Griffin. Hey, Gookie. What a fucking asshole
But here's another thing is is that um
March 22nd is the one so my is for so, you know, I did that, um
A comedy jam for Comedy Central with Tiffany Haddish by my episode is uh premiering
It's going to be the premier episode March 22nd
And also, um, they submitted it for an Emmy
Oh nice my episode and Kalilah said that I wasn't good that night
But that but you know what the reaction from the producers and the network is otherwise
Then I don't know what I'm talking about and I'm okay with being wrong. I love it when I'm wrong. Yeah, but
You know the reaction for them is like, oh my that's the best episode of the thing
So that's a fact and that's real and that's something that can build a house on
Okay, because we built the city on rock and roll
We built no go ahead. It's this city
We built
I gotta go I gotta go but
Okay
You gotta fucking get it together man
You're doing a fucking ass out hug too
It's okay, dude. Everything's fine. Uh, Steve and I want to go eat. You want to go or no?
Do I look like I'm in the is it all right if I go eat with Steve or no?
Because I haven't seen him in two weeks. You can do whatever you need. Do you need me home?
I'm this is this is another issue. Okay before you go. Oh my god
The reason that people were over is because I had a very high fever and you were you had to be out
You this is what you do. I have to go right now. I have to go to the spa. I have to do this
I don't think it's fine. I'm gonna be the spot, but um, I'm gonna eat with my brother come home
I'll be home by midnight. Okay, then I'll have my sister come over. Okay
Is that okay with you? Yeah, I'm okay. You seem to have a problem with it. No, I'm kidding. I just want you to think that like
I'm trying to do stuff behind you. I just want to go and eat with my brother. I haven't seen him in two weeks
That's I'm not that's not what I'm saying. Oh my god
You can go
But don't be upset if I'm asking help from other people. No, I'm not upset. I just want you to be upset
You're you're incorrigible too
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