TigerBelly - Ms. Pat & Biting Octopus Brains
Episode Date: November 21, 2023Ms. Pat returns to TigerBelly, 30 minutes early! We chat Bobo's b-hole, Judge Pat, fart holders, fresh tap, chok ba, and Samoan squid. PRE-ORDER NEW MERCH That’s PrizePicks.com/BELLY and use code BE...LLY for a first deposit match up to $100! PrizePicks: Daily Fantasy Sports Made Easy!
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Let's get my nationality. Baaah! And I think I'm done looking. Hey, you get another guess, my nation.
Korean.
Yeah.
What did she win, Gilbert?
Oh, unsweet tea.
So I'm Korean.
So the thing is-
Will you memorize that?
It doesn't matter, probably.
But the thing is that your eyes are already small, then you got those bags up under it.
And look like you got stung with a bb. And they're like, you got a stone with a b.
Or you ate something, you had a lurch or an action.
You need the eye patches that we weather for.
Yeah, yeah.
You should really get him.
You should get a sponsor.
And when you get them, you should put it on your whole eye.
Not on the bottom.
Yeah, but the thing is, you know, you don't say that to somebody
when they just walk up, I don't think.
Yes, the fuck you do.
You do.
You walk to here, Alice.
Yo, bro, I-
Your eyeless.
So, I guess what you're trying to say to me is that I don't look on.
Well, I mean, you can't, you can't, that's what you need, but you need to put it on your whole house.
And then only, I can't even see the thing.
I'm like, $4.
$4?
Yeah, you're gonna go this far somewhere.
At what higher end?
Maybe a higher end.
There is some, I have some upstairs.
It's my, I don't know what Miss Pat's doing right now.
I have what she has, probably Peter Rott
or somebody's in my high school.
That one I have, the green one, yeah.
You should get him the green one. Yeah.
You should get him the cucumber ones.
He has, we have some upstairs.
You should use them.
I'll be honest, my eyes look fucking crazy right now.
Yeah.
I was thinking, I'm asking her, you don't see me every day.
You have no, what is the outside of your eye?
You all I see is pupils.
It's an ancient.
You're not around with the ancient, you pet, miss pet.
You're not around, Korean.
This is what her eyes look like
I know but not oh I could see white somewhere all I see is you got like too little black dots
You cordon a witch a nails
You're so rude. I'm sorry. Yeah, you know, you know, here's the thing that's what you
Look at yourself, man. Look at yourself
Miss Pat I'm an old Korean man. I'm 52 years old. Oh, you look good
If you put into context, all right, I have we have bulge eyes. You can't see my eye balls. I think my ear rings are these fucking hits.
It hurts.
I want a second break.
Okay.
I'm gonna be in about the amount of that.
Okay.
But what I'm saying is you probably don't see a lot of
Korean men that are 52.
And if you line this up.
You're lying.
I'm black.
I shop at a beauty supply store.
Yep.
There's Korean men, old Korean men that.
Third largest population in Atlanta.
And they have, you see their eyeballs?
I don't look.
I had them like that.
I just go by my hair and keep going.
No.
Fuck you, you want me to walk?
There are people.
That's not nice.
All right, all right.
So this is the first time you've seen really,
you've paid attention to an old Korean man's face.
No, when you're still in out of the store,
you have to pay attention to make sure
they're not watching you.
Oh, because they watch you.
Well, back in the day, I don't still any more,
but we're not still.
Yeah.
Because in LA, does Atlanta have the same problem
where it's like, because back in the day,
there was conflict between Koreans and black people,
especially in...
I don't ever remember that conflict.
Oh, you don't?
We had beef with y'all, too.
Well, in LA, there was a beef between the Black community and Korean community.
Was y'all coming to our community to sell your shit?
Yeah, yeah.
Is it about a school?
Yeah, we would have liquor stores in your communities.
And I think that was a conflict. That's all. I was wondering if Atlanta had checked it.
Oh, yeah, well, not like LA did.
Yeah, yeah.
But I'm quite sure, you know, we, we, we were other sell out hair to each other.
Yeah.
But y'all want to tell us what y'all get the hair for.
So we, we had to keep going to your uncle.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You guys buy a lot of hair, huh?
We do.
Yeah, yeah.
We do.
Have you ever bought hair?
I think I'm extension.
Why?
They call it a extension, and we call it hair.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Gilbert, have you ever bought hair?
My family has, yes.
Yeah, yeah.
I've never bought hair.
But I would like your wife probably.
All girls are probably bought at a charity, and exceptions.
Even white girls?
Yeah, white girls are so silly when they come down the
hair and sit, because they pay a lot.
All you got to do is buy that shit and go to the hood.
They'll put that shit in your hair
if I have to price a white woman wheel.
Oh, really?
Oh, I see.
And you go to a white shop there, charge you per-trait.
I mean, you walk out there with full track
and being spent a thousand dollars.
You go to a hood, that's $60, a little watch. Oh. Yeah. Do you walk out there with full track and being spent a thousand dollars. You go to a hood That's sixty dollar little watch
Yeah, yeah, you have her in now or a lot of her in now. Wow. That's what I
Do you really have a wig on? Okay, all right, and let's introduce you. Oh
Do we need to
Ladies five four three this, this pad is here.
This pad is here, great lady, very funny.
This pad is here.
I just woke up, I am so tired.
Anyway, give a miss back around of a positive vote.
Thank you for being here again.
Is your second time on, huh?
Yeah, yeah.
I'm so happy to be back.
I said, Lord, let me put on a pantylinica.
This fuck is crazy. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha What? What? What? I'm gonna see Bobby Lee, I'm gonna put a tan on it. Yeah, you put the maxi pads.
No, it's just a little...
What's the difference?
It's just something to catch the juice.
To juice catch.
So you can actually...
Can I ask you this?
Juice catcher.
There's a pad catch the juice.
No, pad catch is blood.
So it's blood juice?
No, but not that kind of juice.
That's monthly.
On a daily basis, we just release all
Wait, I'm not a medical person. I'm not a scientist. You know pussy, right?
Apparently, I believe that
I've seen I just seen you scratch and I saw your dick print.
I was like, ah.
Oh, so you've just had it.
It was like somebody was giving a thumbs up.
Do you see it?
Who are you scratching?
Oh my.
He was scratching.
I ain't going to lie, Bibley.
I was like, my Lord, he's just really doing a small joke.
I thought you looked so much happier than that.
That's all I see.
When your dick print was so...
What's your dick print?
I mean, it was a morning dick.
It was a morning dick.
So, most morning dick's get up and it's like,
I am the condo in your drawer.
You stretched. I was like, this am the calm day you draw. You stretch.
You got, I was like,
this pet, I'm a grower.
This pet, I'm a grower.
Not at 52, sir.
That's it.
Oh, that's it?
Okay.
So you think I was swapping it?
I saw, I don't know what you got.
I don't want to see.
I don't ever want to show you.
I have to, I have to happen.
He's in her face.
I can tell you.
All right.
That wasn't it.
Yeah, shut up.
No. I, thumbs up.
You're gonna fuck somebody say I'm only here for the car note.
I gotta suck this shit again.
I'm gonna get paid.
Okay, let me say something.
Sucking, right?
So, you know, if it's small, my penis something sucking right so you know if it's okay It's if it's small my penis right. That's yeah the flip it okay, it is
But the flavor and the freshness is there what what is it Johnny's food
Did they there's a hint of MSG, but it's still like flavor from the weed you smoke
Yeah, yeah, was it tasty still like flavor. That's from the wheat you smoke. Oh, yeah, yeah.
Was it tasteier now?
It was okay.
Ray, Ray, Ray, Ray.
I'm gonna answer that question.
What is it supposed to taste like?
That's, you know, white meat.
The pork chicken.
No flavor.
That's rude.
It has no flavor.
Y'all still together?
No.
No. What do you mean still together? No. No.
What do you all know?
Nothing.
What do you mean, huh?
What were you dating now, Black Dude?
A big guy.
A big guy, a real dark guy.
How tall was it?
You said you're dark.
You mean black.
But he's six foot, all taller, six foot.
So are you okay with this?
He's dating someone too.
I'm just pet him.
I'm fucking killing it too.
I'll tell you that right now.
How long was your two-year-old?
Ten years.
Ten years.
Why did you leave him?
I know you left. Ha- to be a day Wow is wild one
The dick bread the dick bread. They're gonna dick. Oh damn
What I'm a chippin down you
I bet you're munch. I'm Jim munch.
Yeah, I bet you're munch.
So anyway, yeah, well, it was a mutual break up.
Okay.
We're, hear me out.
I feel like I'm in trial.
This is my show.
Why?
I feel like I'm on trial.
About my judge show.
So you are on trial.
All right, I'm on trial.
Okay, so we're going to get to that in a second.
We're not fucking doing that shit right now.
You're not running the show.
Okay.
All right, you're not the judge in this fucking court room. Okay. All right. So just
right. So number one, it was a mutual break up. Okay. Number two. How do you mutually break up?
We looked at each other. I think it's time to move on. Yeah. Something like that.
Something like that. Okay. Number two. But who brought the conversation now? What it what?
Why is ited for cat?
Why does it have to be her?
You're saying, this is what you're saying.
Miss Pat, and this is rude.
You're being rude, okay?
So I'm, but I can feel how spirit.
What's my spirit saying?
Freedom.
What's my spirit saying?
Freedom.
What's my spirit saying?
Freedom.
What's my spirit saying?
Freedom. Freedom. Freedom. Freedom. Freedom. You know what, and I don't want to do it.
It's like Braveheart, it's like Braveheart, yeah.
I just saw his dick again and I know you almost swallowed it so many times.
You could literally be arrested for what if you castrate somebody by mistake.
I'm gonna keep going.
I'm gonna keep going, okay? You have any kids?
No, no, no, no kids.
And it works.
I know it works.
Number one, it works.
And number two, it tastes good.
Number three is clean, right?
You know, you sucked it.
No, I've never sucked it.
Well, I do it like a little consensus.
Okay.
You know, they have to, every time we go,
they do a survey, you know what I mean?
And they go, yes, yes, I would, no, no, whatever, right? So to every time I'll always I want you to do a survey you know me and they go yes, yes, I would know whatever right so do you think you
I'll be back together
I didn't ask him that maybe
We don't know what do you think right now we're in a break time. Yeah, we're break time right now
How long you been on a break?
a year and a half years a year and a half right. Yeah, so do y'all ever get drunk and fuck?
No, cuz we don't drink.
We both don't drink.
Do y'all ever get weed up?
We don't, we don't smoke weed.
So do y'all ever just blank out in folk?
No.
No.
I think if I did drink and we both drank and we went out one night,
we could have done that.
Yeah, yeah.
So you're not 52, how do you?
38.
Oh. Oh, what? Oh, what do you say not 52. How do you 38? Oh, oh, what
What do you say miss back? Oh, what?
She left that old
Yo
You out of pocket
What happened was Bob and Leo pussy grew up You're out of pocket. You're out of pocket today. You're out of pocket today, miss. I'm out of pocket. Oh, yeah.
You're out of pocket.
What happened, was Bobbie Lee, I'll push it grew up.
Oh, my God.
I didn't know you was that young.
Oh, my God.
I know.
OK.
I know for this, man.
OK.
OK, I'm sorry.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
This is, this is insane. So, well, let is. Okay, I'm sorry. Yeah, yeah, yeah, this is, this is insane.
So, well, let me say this, I don't know what your vage looks like.
I'm sure it's not a fresh product.
Oh, it's not.
It's pretty old and I piss on it every day.
I'm 51.
Oh, you are.
It's partially gray.
It got a handicap sticker.
Who?
My pussy parks itself. Yeah. Some days I'm walking and I walk over and leave my pussy to
chair.
I'm going back to pick it up.
So you're pussy, you said it drips.
Everybody pussy drips.
Can we go back to the maxi pad and the, it wasn't maxi pad.
All right, but when I'm saying, let me just go back to that real quick.
Okay, can I put my point?
Yes.
I know what it went from panty-liar linings to my dick.
I don't know how the fuck that happened.
You can't say my dig, you can't say my eek.
My, I think you're missing a D.
You can't say my eek.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
It's okay.
I like it.
It's small.
God fuck me.
Is that the first agent?
I mean, Randy, you have a thought.
No.
Is it all like that?
Yeah, I usually go for...
Defend the princess.
Well, no, before him, my ex was black.
Oh.
But...
She went from black to...
What's... She's not can't take with you.
I'm looking at you Bobby.
Was it a thug down black dude or Barack Obama?
He was a Barack Obama teacher.
No principal.
Was it good?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He's good like his Bobby.
He's exactly.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Finish the finish.
The fact that he's. Yeah. Yeah.
Finish the fact that not as big, but really fun.
He's creative.
He does other things.
I'm full.
Because you got to.
Yeah.
When you miss and dick, you got to some toes hair.
You're in bitches eyeballs.
Eat their hair.
Some made backs.
Some are mean. So, eat their hair, so they back. So, that's our wee-back.
He's so...
That's crazy, I'm sucking a bitch back.
That's a wild, man. I'm gonna die today.
You just...
He's a black man, I gotta do them a later fight.
You are high.
Oh, my God.
I mean, you're digging so small,
and I hate to keep talking about your dig.
I just want to put it in my hand and pat it.
Oh, like a turbo or something.
Okay.
Anyway.
We go back to the pantyliners.
Okay, pantyliners.
Right.
What I'm saying, my theoretically,
what I'm saying is that a pantylier,
if you don't have,
I mean, a maxi-pat,
if you don't have a pantyliner,
you can still work.
Or you can.
Or you can't do the theory out of the theoretical.
That's all you want to do.
But you do, they buy panty liners for a daily use
cause pads cost a little more.
Oh, they do.
Yes, for monthly.
I see.
So what drips down into your thing?
You do.
Piss, sweat.
Sweat, yeah.
Hair, when is shit.
So when you take it out and you can see dribble?
No, I didn't get it.
Way, you just throw it away.
You don't look at it though.
No.
OK, outsmell it.
I mean, sometimes it's just pissy.
It's just pissy.
OK.
Unless you're fishy, but I'm not fishy.
Yeah.
I'm more fishy.
You're more.
What are you more of?
I'm definitely not too fishy.
Yeah.
I'm not fishy at either, but I'm like guppie.
More guppie.
Yeah.
All right. You're not fishy. Now I wash my vagina every day. but I'm like, goopy. Yeah.
All right.
You're not fishy.
Nah, I watch my vagina every day.
Oh, you do.
You take it.
You still work.
Do you still use it?
Do I still use my pussy?
Yeah.
Don't you be trying out your little wiener?
I try to use my vagina.
No, I'm just saying, do you still, is it still active?
Because I don't, you know, I'm 51.
What does that mean?
Of course.
You're 53.
Yeah, 52.
Well, aren't you having sexual activity?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, I'm having sexual activity too.
I'm not saying that you can or cannot.
I'm just saying that right now in your time.
I'm having it with somebody who enjoys, what, you?
Do I enjoy it?
Do they enjoy it?
Okay. Do they enjoy it? Do they enjoy it? I do. Do they enjoy it? Do they enjoy it?
Do they enjoy it?
Do they enjoy it?
Do they enjoy it?
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Well, yeah, do they enjoy it?
I eat pussy though.
I bet you can.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know, you can cook some fish.
How to do theatrics in there, you know.
Well, you know, most people I tell you white man created even for job.
You think so?
Yeah, black men started shit to the late 90s, early 90s.
Because they didn't me too?
They don't have too.
Yeah, yeah. Are they good at it?
The ones I've had was pretty good. I've never had an agent. I mean, a Korean.
So I don't know what you're talking about.
That's what I'm saying. You've never dated a Korean. I never dated
I saw my race by me. You never did a white guy. No, why?
Because white men don't like fat women. They give they fat women to black men
Da dude
Honestly that two man history dude. Yeah. You don't watch that bitch.
I said lose weight if he didn't have a break.
Oh, white men only like fat women, if the cup is extremely poor.
But white people in the money, they don't want to know how to shake white.
That bitch.
Yeah, yeah, Holy shit, dude.
What I'm saying right now, because if, like,
I know you're married.
Yeah, long time.
Long time, but if you were single and-
I don't know if I could do that side of my race.
Yeah, but listen, you're successful.
One of the funniest people on planet Earth.
Thank you.
I'm pretty sure if you wanted that you could get the white dick.
I could get the white dick.
Yeah, but you did.
And there's no curiosity.
What if it tastes like different than black dick?
First of all, I'm fit the one.
I'm not sucking no dick because I got a vertigo.
I don't know.
That's the young girl's sport.
Yeah, I have really bad TMJ too.
What is TMJ?
It's that pain in the jaw, like right in this joint here.
When you suck pain, is this?
I mean, even when I'm chewing,
or even like right now, it hurts.
That's why I can't wear over the ear, it can't see there.
So sucking dick is like an Olympic sport.
It just is too much effort.
Are you left, Bobby Lee?
The easiest fucking metal you could've got.
Well, that's why we're together for 10 years
you can fuck up your TMJ
fuck up my TMJ
this jika whine is knocking your brain
you probably suckin dick and eat my brain
so what you're saying to me is that
because I'm seeing a young lady right now
and what nationality?
She's half Korean.
She, what?
And half white.
Oh.
She's got a Kiano Reeves kind of a vibe of a woman, you know.
You got a bitch look like Kiano Reeves?
That was like that kind of a-
That's a man.
No, that kind of Asian, that's mixed.
You can't really have a little bit of fucking Asian in them.
You dating Alan?
Elevator generous? Yeah., no she has no Asian in her
What you just you're having to me is a lesbian
Right he say she look like he on a read. No, it's not bad man
You don't know you That's sort of mixture.
You day in the last, no.
Anywhere, let's go.
How you going, Dei?
The outta Reeze, after having these.
I don't forget it.
Forget the fucking, forget the analogy.
Okay.
I can't breathe.
Yeah, I can't breathe it.
So I'm dating a woman and I swear to God,
she said to me, she goes, you know what?
I think your penis is perfect.
And I said, weary.
I forgot to put the Ls in there.
That was so fucking confused.
I go, weary.
You should've said, bitch, how old are you?
She's 32.
And she goes, it's just the right, perfect size,
your speed, the smell of it, everything is perfect.
And I took her for her word.
So you think she's lying to me?
Yes, I'm gonna tell you.
Yeah.
No dick is a perfect size.
It's the money.
And then, you know, is she thick?
Is she really small?
She's thick.
I don't do thick, I do.
She's petite, like half my size.
So she probably got you sticking her neck and her navel somewhere else.
That's why it's a perfect size.
Because first of all, she's petite.
So we already know she got long pussy.
Cause real skinny people got long pussy, probably go up her bag.
So which pussy are you sticking?
Back in. Back in. Back back in that isn't really good
point and then you say she's Asian right half Asian everybody know Asians got long
pussy that's what I used to say back in the day I don't know but yeah never heard that
you heard that ever heard that before you're in the hood that's why people are saying
behind their backs the Asian got really long long pussy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we have a yeah.
So. Wow. Wow.
You have pink for vagina, so.
Huh?
I got pink for vagina.
No, no, no, no, pink.
Pink.
Fucking know what color my vagina is on the side.
I've seen the porn and black porn.
Well, I don't want.
And if you look inside the vagina,
I'll pussy his pink.
On the inside.
That's what I gotta be paying.
I'll give you a compliment.
What, what, what, what, what,
do I put this for me black?
Are we black?
I'll put this pink and she white.
She's half Asian.
I don't give a ful.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay, I'm just,
I'll put this one face.
I'm just, we all look alike.
I'll put this look alike.
Okay, good.
We got that point.
And we can move on from it.
We can move on from it. But you're saying she says, you're perfect. So this girl says, I'm perfect. She literally
looked at me, legitimate me. And she's on an actor. What in the little BDIs that I have,
the black dots that I have. And she goes, um, but honestly, like, that was the best. I
like, I love it. And so, you know, I just take her for a word. And I love it. And so you know I just take her for a word and I believe
and I believe her and but but when you're talking though right now it makes me
feel like she was lying.
You know God damn where I am. I'm your good friend.. Ain't nobody I know pervading. Yeah, she'd like. But what I seen in your pants, that's a, uh,
you tip.
What's your girlfriend?
It's a money.
Are you buying her nice bags and shoes and taking her out?
Watch it.
I've took her to a different country.
I have places, Ireland.
Of course, probably your dick is perfect.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
You're the first class fight.
You got them right, you're just like.
You're like, you took a different picture.
I'm gonna tell everybody, you got a perfect dent.
You're right.
He fucks me in my ears.
You're right.
You're right, we can move on.
Let's move on for a minute.
I don't wanna talk about my penis anymore.
Yeah, he has, he has, anyway. And God bless you for China. Let's move on. I don't want to talk about my penis anymore. Yeah, he has it.
Anyway, and God bless you for John.
Now let's move on for a minute.
I'm sure it's great.
But you know what?
I gotta say this is a good move on.
And I love you, Bob.
I love you.
Thank you for having me out here.
But if you was gay, you'd have been perfect.
Because you wouldn't have had nothing to tape down.
We were, we were, we were, we were.
We were, we were, we were, we were.
I don't know.
So when you gay, and gay men, they tape their dicks down, because they don't, they want to explore this. I would explore this. I would explore this. So when you get, and they tape they digs down because they don't want to look like they
flat between the legs.
So what I just saw it would have been one piece of scotch tape with a hell of a gel.
My duct tape?
Not least duct tape.
No, scotch tape.
Electrical tape.
The Christmas gift.
Just tape.
Get wrapping tape.
Not a, oh, heavy duty. Yeah, yeah.
Just one little piece of tape.
Yeah, it's, and you would have a flat, flat pussy.
Everybody would've thought you was a girl.
Oh.
Cause I've seen some men have the damn nil.
Pinnate dick, tape it, glue it down to hold it backwards.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You're gonna just put your own on your little thigh.
Right.
Okay. Okay. So if I was gay that would have been great
I would have saved money from for Scotch tape or tape now. I'm just saying I've been so much easier for you to turn into a woman
Yeah, oh also last week didn't we not take a photo of my butthole?
We did yeah, and let me tell you I'll be the first to announce miss Pat and I'll like to give you this information
My butthole.
You don't even know where the hole is.
That's how tight it is.
We couldn't find the hole.
You couldn't even find it.
And we zoomed in.
Yeah, butthole is like your eye.
It's a third eye.
It's a third eye.
I'm like a cyclop.
You let them stick your camera up your butthole.
He encouraged it.
He encouraged it.
Yeah, he spread his cheeks and everything
We had a porn star on right an adult film actress and she wanted to grade his butthole
Read my butthole. What was it? Zero? No, I can well we were zooming in and we could barely find the hole
So what are you shit? Not of my whole?
But my poop looks very thin like Udon noodles
My whole, but my poop looks very thin, like, udon noodles.
You see, that's how tight it is.
So it just comes out like just a line.
And then when it's something that's in the swirl.
You know, me and Zha have to get a,
what's that thing that I got up your ass?
I'll call an ass.
I'll call an ass.
What are you gonna do going on your throat?
Ha ha ha ha.
Well, that's why I haven't got one yet.
We don't know how to do it.
Do you have the pitch of his butto?
No, no, no.
Oh my god, you're gonna show his fat.
Don't you own my, miss Pat my buttole please.
Okay.
Can I say your buttole first?
All right, but I never wanted to see an,
oh, okay.
Oh, miss Pat, miss Pat.
Please don't make fun of me.
Okay, I will.
Okay.
Cause that's, it's one of my assets.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's one of the, oh,, don't say don't give it.
Are you ready?
I can't.
Are you okay with this?
I guess I am.
This is this pad.
I know.
I can zoom in if you want.
Oh.
She can't stop looking though.
Look at her.
That's not the bottle.
Just the photo.
You can look at it.
Yeah, yeah.
Zoom in.
Oh. You got yeah, do it. Oh.
You got two holes back there.
Oh yeah, we did talk about that.
He's multiple holes.
Oh.
She keeps doing it so close.
Oh my gosh. Oh my God. Oh my God. What do you think?
First Korean for her.
First Korean but all.
What do you think?
52.
I don't think you have a butthole.
That's what I'm saying.
So that's a good thing, I think.
You know what it looked like you could do?
Whole of birthday candy.
What was it?
What was it?
What was it?
What was it?
Birthday birthday birthday.
Yeah.
Happy birthday. Happy birthday. Happy birthday. Happy birthday. What? Whole of birthday candy. What was it? What was it? What was it?
What was it?
It was birthday birthday.
Happy birthday to you.
And I could, you could blow it out there.
That's what you got for your bunch of birthday.
None of you.
God damn me.
Yeah, I'm going to, I'm going to offend you.
I'm going to send her a candle out of my bottle and I'm going to light it.
Who's going to blow it out?
I'm just a photo.
I'm going to send it to her. Okay. You should switch to the candle and I'm gonna lie to it. Who's gonna blow it out? I'm gonna set it to.
Okay.
You should switch the countdown with a firecracker.
Take it blow up and make him a real asshole back.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
He's so, I'm so, let me take that back.
I'm so glad you're not gay.
Cause your butthole cannot take that.
It will kill you. No, it wouldn't kill me. I'll tell you, they would come cause your butthole cannot take this. It will kill you.
No, it wouldn't kill me.
I'll tell you, they would come fast.
No, they can't even get in it.
But if,
I wanna, my pinky cannot fit in that hole.
I know, but of course, if I was gay, I would use it.
My butthole's not been used in that way.
It's a brand new butthole.
Well, I made it the butthole, don't look like that.
How do you know, you taking a photo of your butthole?
No.
You said that's what I'm saying.
I bet you money.
We're not doing it today.
We're never gonna take a photo.
I know.
What I'm saying at home with your husband.
No.
I'm just, can I just throw out the suggestion?
Okay.
Okay.
At home.
Atlanta, correct.
What's your husband's, whatever.
What's your husband's? Garrett.
Garrett, yo, Garrett, can you take a photo of my bunhole
with zoom in?
And it's a private, what?
And you know what I'm gonna say?
Get the fuck outta here.
Right, you see it?
He's in the camera.
He's never seen my bunhole.
I don't bin, I don't, six, eight, like that, man.
I'm binning over there looking at my ass hole.
Oh, you don't do that.
No.
You don't do butt play.
What the fuck is butt play?
Garrett does the stickest penis in your butt hole.
No, nobody's there for penis in my mother's foot.
Not even you and you and not even a throet.
Right, you would allow me.
No, I don't.
Let me ask you a scenario.
What if they said I was dying from a particular disease.
Well, you did that mother's father.
Let me see this analogy.
What, y'all, yeah, do it, send me, you was on that.
All right.
And they said that the only way to get cured from this disease
is if you stick your penis into Miss Pads' bottle.
What is this?
You better stick your dick in there.
That thing is shaped just like me.
OK, OK, OK. So I guess that's a no. That's a hard no. All. Okay, okay, okay.
So I guess that's a no, that's a hard no.
All right, so anyway, my point of show telling you my
bottle was I was saying that my penis might be small,
but my bottle is tight, so that I thought that was like
it would even itself out, but you're saying it's a negative.
No, I don't know.
Okay, let's move on from my body.
I don't want to talk about my body.
30 minutes.
30 minutes of my, all right, 30 minutes of,
30 minutes of, let's go back to, let to let's okay so let me ask you a question
It's not why did you come here fucking 30 minutes early? I
Was down the street coming from another podcast or I stopped the handle onto my people and it was like well
I just go and put dry put in the driveway and go to sleep. Oh
Yeah, I was gonna come on. What's your spot guess did you do?
I make down hell to make, hell to make down.
Oh, I love Heather.
Yeah, she told me she's great.
I love Heather.
Yeah, we was early, so I was like, hey,
I like to arrive early anyway.
You do?
Yeah.
Cause look, we're gonna get out of here early now.
That's true.
Yeah.
It's a very smart.
You have another one after this?
Ah, no, I have to go over to a studio and record some stuff.
You do?
Are you doing any shows when you're in town?
No, I'm just promoting the show.
Promoting the show.
I don't really get out here a lot when I'm at, you know,
what the fuck is that?
I feel like garbage.
That's a garbage.
Oh, okay.
I don't really get out a lot when I'm here,
but I might go and sit in the club tomorrow. I'm still jet lagging tired. Yeah. You know, and I'm on tour right
now. So my first theater tour. Oh, that's great. Yeah, I'm excited. I'm doing pretty well.
You know, it's a pressure on you when you got it. Say 300 tickets from a night to versus
3,000. I know. I know. So you'd be like, oh, I'm ready for this.
And then, you know, my fans are so diverse.
So, you know, the white people get all their tickets
and everybody else.
And here come the black people.
They're the last men.
Oh, whoo, the black people.
Pull me over the hump.
So fucking late weekend ticket.
So you haven't done one yet?
Yeah, I'm going into number six.
Oh, number six.
And so you're doing like 3000 seat venues.
Well, no, this is my first theater tour.
Oh, your first.
But this is my six city.
Six city, all right.
So we should be just grateful
and pinching ourselves, right?
You know, and I am, but you know,
your first tour you do want to sell as many as you can.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
So I'm between, I'm up to like 3000 seats.
And kind of all.
Anybody listening right now, go see Ms. Pat.
She's one of, I mean obviously,
if you listen to so far,
I think it's the funniest people.
I'm planning to go check out her tour.
And then do you want to talk about your show?
What, where's your show going to be out?
October the 18th.
So it's out now.
So make sure y'all go watch it.
Go watch it and we're working.
BET.
BET. I'm a judge.'re working. BET. BET.
I'm a judge.
You're a judge.
But you actually take on real cases?
You know what?
Let me tell y'all.
So I go and I pinch this show because I have an overall deal
with Valkyrie and BET.
So I say I got this judge I did on they say,
oh well, you know, I had it for somebody else.
They say, well, what do you think about it?
I said, I don't care me no fucking judge. I'm gonna convict it for somebody else. They said, well, what do you think about? I said, I don't keep you in a fucking judge.
I'm gonna convict the felon.
And that was like, it's TV, you could be God.
And I was like, okay, let me try.
And so I did it and I really like it.
Really just a lot of, you know, ad blibbing.
You know, it's following the situation.
And I'm good at that.
So I never looked at a case.
I just came out the top of the head with everything
and it's hilarious.
What I didn't know that it was real.
Wow.
They didn't tell me the money was real,
the people was real, the cases were real.
Hey, you judge, that's okay.
So I'm in that giving out extra money.
They pulled me to the side.
He said, what the fuck are you doing?
I said, what?
They say, you fucking up the budget.
I'm like, what's budget?
They're like, you're giving away too much money.
I'm like this shit real?
I was fucking out of going tell me when it was real.
Oh, you thought it was just like make believe.
Yeah, because people was in there crying.
I was like, damn, many people came in.
And.
Wow, wow, wow.
Have you seen them?
Yeah, they're very funny. Well, I can't wait. Oh, kind, wow. Have you seen them? Yeah, they're very funny.
I can't wait.
Oh, kind of crazy ass kick.
And the great part about my court show,
I have a juror, a juror of my peers, my fans.
No, I'm not fans on the first season,
but like celebrities, I think we call you for,
but she was busy.
I have to do it.
Yeah.
Miss Pat, the next season, I have to be a juror. busy. I have to do it. Yeah. No, no, I'll miss Pat.
The next season, I have to be a girl.
Yes.
Our, our turtle neck.
I, I call for him, but I think he was busy.
So, it's celebrities, it's family, it's friends,
and I mix them in a jerobox.
Oh, that's great.
Yeah.
Who have you had as a jerk?
D Ray Davis, can you prove?
Love him.
That's so funny that guy. I had a Dundee C D Ray Davis, Kevin Drew. Love him, beauty. That's so funny that guy.
I had a Dundee C. Kerry, Ray Jay.
Wow.
My Jordan is on it.
My co-host of my podcast is on it.
Wow.
A couple other social media people,
but I think once it popped off this year,
everybody's going to want to be a juror.
It is so much fun, because I don't listen to shit
that jurors say, because it's my courtroom. But you never see the court show like that.
Yeah.
And, boy, it was, it was hilarious.
What kind of cases were there?
Crazy case.
It was from suing people over bad haircuts.
What?
Still in somebody dog,
to husbands and wives.
Yeah.
I'll kind of freaky crazy shit.
And you know how to to do any like,
like studying about what judges do.
They just let you do you.
Well, that's why it's called mispatched cellosit.
That's a nasty.
I didn't say judge you.
It's a mispatched cellosit.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Wow.
And does that legally binding?
Yeah.
Wow.
Yeah, if you got an issue and you want to know something,
bring your ass to my court and I will get it settled for you.
You at glue-cold, because you have a glue-shut.
Oh, my God.
I think she got your rent money on her name.
And I think you're a made up of friends and guests.
Is there anyone for us to see? No, all about video.
Oh, Rachel.
Oh, and Carmen Barton.
Oh, wow.
Miss Pat settles it.
New series Wednesday.
Oh, that's exciting.
It's so perfect for you.
You know what, at first, I didn't think so,
but I think people are really excited to see.
Because it's a different twist.
Like, you come in my room with that shenanin,
you come in my courtroom with that bullshit,
you're gonna get bullshit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can curse a little bit. Look, get your ass my room with that shenanin you come in my courtroom with that bullshit you're gonna get bullshit yeah I can
person a little bit look get your ass out here with that bullshit yeah you don't
about it oh you shit okay and do is it let me ask you something do you have
like producers that are are they all black no my producers why I don't use
black I use good oh you was good good yeah I don't and nothing I do I don't you
know when you first get the Hollywood
and you do black show,
they were like, oh, you gotta put all black people.
All black people ain't good.
All white people ain't good.
Yeah, yeah.
All Korean people ain't good.
All mixed Korean people ain't good.
All white people ain't good.
You gotta get the best one.
Yeah, I do good.
So I don't give a fuck what color you are.
It's true, I go by the blue.
And that's what I tell them.
And about me being on BET, a black network,
of course they wanna see people that look like us,
that work for the network.
But I was like, fuck, that shit.
Patrick Walsh right here in the LA of White Dude,
run my writing room.
And he's like, oh, White Dude, you got them right.
He understand the blackness that I put out.
He's a great writer, he's funny.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And that's what I do. That's how the world should be. That's how the world should be.
But no, time you black or time you white. We're gonna put all the white boys again.
What for? Do you have a born-ass cheese sandwich? So if you mix that shit together,
you got a hunt tray. Yeah, you're wow. Yeah, exactly. You were, I mean, I think I got a couple
white people in my room and they'd be like, why people in your room over at BT, you flew. Wow. Yeah, exactly. You were, I mean, I think I got a couple white people in my room and they be like,
why people in your room over at BT,
you got them right cause they good.
Yeah, yeah, they're good, yeah, yeah.
That's perfect, huh?
Yeah, if you, I've had some black writers
and I told them you fucking suck.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Wow.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And they looked at, I've had a bad white one too
and I say, you suck too, bitch.
Oh, you see that to their faces?
Well, I'm a comedian, so we can say that
to each other faces, but I'm aware.
All in a funny way.
No, they ended up in, I had to have like a counselor
to walk around with me because they said,
I couldn't say stuff like, you fucking horrible kill yourself. Really?
Somewhere to follow you? Well, they gave me a life coach.
Oh, life coach.
Oh, life coach. Yeah.
And they basically say, you can't see that, Miss Pat?
Well, yeah, I had to talk to her. I had to check in with her every morning to calm me down
and when I was going through issues on the first season, they gave me a life coach so I
could have somebody say, I'm a bust this motherfucker in hell, and that,
and so I will tell it to her.
So when I got to the set, I can put on my L.A. face.
Hello, Pete.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I had to learn how to speak it.
But in your daily life in Atlanta and stuff,
do you, on Georgia, do you have to calm yourself down
in social situations or are you pretty? No, I saved the fuck I wanted to.
Are you do?
You keep it moving.
Oh, you keep it moving.
Yeah, I'm 51.
I've gotten to the point where I pass gas in public,
so I don't give a shit.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I do.
I'm not holding my gas for nobody.
That shit cramps myself.
You know, by me not farting over the last 40 years
in public caused me to get my gall bladder removed.
I was dead. So I'm not tanning up no more of organs. What they said was chicken. I said it was gags.
They said it was greasy food. But I'm blaming on me holding my
foot trying to be polite. Let her rip. Let her rip. Yeah. Yeah. We love your organs.
You know what I mean? Yeah. But do? Do holding your, because she's a nurse.
I'm a fart holder and I'm a hider.
But you went to nursing school.
Yeah.
So let me ask you something.
I always thought that too,
because it's a poisonous gas inside your body, right?
Well, it's just like byproduct.
It's byproduct.
And if you hold it in your body,
it'd be good.
Well, this will feel good.
How's a bad product, you're in bad.
You bought the food.
The food, yeah.
And it turns into that shit.
Okay.
And holding it is that healthier now.
I don't know.
You know, I don't know the answer to that.
But it does not feel good.
It's almost trying to like,
throw your shig.
It's, that's why I got you that very small asshole
so you can find and silence.
That is true.
No, no, no, no, you fart loud.
You fart like popping popcorn in a microwave. That's. No. That is true. No, no, no, no, you are fart loud.
You fart like popping popcorn in a microwave.
That's all right.
Damn, damn.
Yeah, it's like firecracker is going up. Puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh. Okay, so it says, when you block a fart from escaping,
some of the gas can pass through your gut wall
and be reabsorbed into your bloodstream.
From there, it can end up being
exhaled through your lungs coming out of your mouth.
Oh, fucking brafuckers.
Oh.
So you do not want that.
You gotta let your fart out here.
No, I rip them.
I rip them, I rip them.
We hear them.
He's not like a balloon going down.
Heeeey. Heeeey. going down. He let the balloon go.
He don't blow up.
He.
How is your health? Do you feel good?
I feel great. I had surgery about three weeks ago.
Why? Damn.
Yeah, I had my gallbladder.
Oh, that's right. That's real.
Yeah. So, I feel great now.
First, that shit was hurting.
I feel like I had swallowed something a little small part.
It just stabbing me in my stomach.
And so finally I went to the doctor and I say,
my fucking stomach hurting my shoulder.
And they gave me an X-ray and they said,
hey, you got gallstones.
So I had them removed.
So it was great.
And it feels better now.
Yeah, I'm still got three stitches in my stomach,
but I'm okay.
Yeah, yeah.
What is a gallstone?
It just accumulates over time.
It's like concentrate.
Well, you have a gallbladder.
It breaks down the fats that you eat.
Oh, I see.
And so when you abuse them with too much greasy shit,
it swell up into like kidney stones,
and they start to stick and kill you.
Because if you don't get them out, they're a fucking cut your stomach.
Yeah.
Oh, I see.
They're really pretty.
Have you seen them?
No.
The gallstones?
They look like gemstones because they're very kind of yellow,
poor mob build.
Yeah, yeah.
Do you keep them?
Yeah, those are going to look like crass.
They look like crass.
I was going to say toe paths, but yeah, crack.
Yeah, it looks like Cree does look like crack. That's like crack. Yeah, it looks like we does look like crack. Yeah
What's pretty about that? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't know it looks like a shine like a caramel
Topaz. Oh, yeah, like caramel. Yeah, do anybody ever keep them. I think so. Yeah
There we go. There we go. I'm a little like broken tooth. Yeah, these ones aren't that good looking. A is good
No, a this is our okay, okay, yeah, yeah, great. Now G is pretty. No, A, this is our, ugh. Okay, okay. Yeah. The grittin' at G is pretty.
Yeah, G's, yeah, G's with nice, yeah.
G looks like a dick.
It looks like a dick.
Yeah, yeah.
Anyway, I think you're wrong, I don't think they look good.
I find them pretty.
Okay.
Do you have a scene one live?
I have seen them, yeah.
They're like, they have this like a greenish
because of like all the bile.
They have like a greenish yellow color.
What do y'all do with them?
I don't know what they do with them.
I'm sure they just toss them out
because it's biohazardous.
Why is the biohazardous?
I mean, it's coming from your insides, right?
Well, someone may take their sense of sec
and clean their face with it.
I know, some people eat it.
Some people eat them.
Yeah, I know my friend ate her placenta.
Where's the placenta at?
That's what the baby does sack the baby's in.
So when the baby come out, it's gonna sack.
You cut the sack and take the baby out.
Well, that's stuff they say they make soap out of it.
They make soap.
They make soap.
And make up and stuff out of it.
You can pull it up a cent of sack.
But some people eat it because it's healthy.
I'm not eating my inside.
There's this girl on TikTok.
She collects her period blood
and she's praised her plants
with a period blood.
And she has like allegedly, she's like,
oh, I have such a green thumb.
It's not a green thumb.
I actually just spray all my plants with my period blood.
Period blood.
Yeah, so she's.
And the cat plants like that.
I don't know.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
I don't know.
But it means she's a vampire.
She probably cut their camera off and lick their hair. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just a vampire she probably cut their camera from the lick
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't need the plants like it. I don't know
You know some women do art with their period. You know how anyone let's move on I hate people who run around and say oh it's natural and it's just all in the street smell like a fucking fish sounds
Come on bitch
You don't got to be that fucking natural. Nobody wants to smell your ass.
That is true because if you think about it, it's like hell.
I'm naturally too, but I got on a pad, bitch.
It's like it's the lining of your endometrium.
I don't even know what the fucking endometrium is.
I know a nigga named Demetres.
But you're right, though.
I mean, I hear smelling like ass.
I mean, that is the worst fuckin' smell when it's said
on you and dry.
Oh, so bad.
It's, I mean, it smells like some ill-died.
It smells like dead people dundye, fish dundye,
fish dundye, and died.
It's just, I don't, ain't nothin' natural
about bleeding in your fuckin' underwear.
And when I see them with me, it's all parake.
What bitch doin it in the house?
One of your bloody asses out here, ho.
Everybody know you fucking bleed.
Yeah, but I can't be honest with you.
You know, the screw that I'm saying,
she was on a period and I kind of and I.
You ate her?
Yeah.
If it's fresh out the top, it's okay.
It's fresh.
But if it's sitting there all day,
what the fuck you mean is not a beer?
Ha ha ha ha ha.
Yeah.
I get it.
And it tastes bad.
It only smells bad when it's been sitting in the pan.
It's not edible.
It is a fucking edible.
It tastes like pennies.
It does taste like pennies.
It tastes like pennies.
I bet it do.
And I love pennies.
They don't taste good.
They don't taste bad.
I bet you won't swallow a bucket of fucking pennies.
That's true. That is true. That's true. That is true.
That's true. That is true. That is true.
You're always smart.
And you're always, yeah, you're right.
That is so fucking nasty.
That's the parody so fucking nasty.
You should unless you're fucking brown flyer,
or you need a blood transfusion.
Why the fuck are you sucking blood out of a bee?
Yeah, Bobby. Yeah, Bobby.
Why are you sucking blood? I'll tell you what, you know, I was in a sexual mood. I don't get a blood out of a bee. Yeah, Bobby. Yeah, Bobby. Yeah, Bobby. Yeah, Bobby.
Why are you second-bud?
I'll tell you what, you know, I was in a sexual mood.
I don't give a fuck.
All right, what are you guys playing for?
It was a Yurba giant out.
Why are you even sticking your dick in a bloody pussy
that's smaller than his ear?
It's just gonna slip around.
Slip burr.
You ain't, pussy ain't got no grit when it's bleed. Oh, I'm gonna die today.
Oh my God.
No, you're gonna die from that bloody pussy.
No, no, no, no.
Don't you ever kiss me.
Are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you
kissing me?
This bad, are you eating healthier then?
I ain't eating no bloody pussy.
I know, I know.
No, I ain't eating healthier.
Well, I don't, I want you to eat healthier.
I, I, I, I fuck this California shit. I'm gonna do what I wanna do. I know, but I want you know, because, eh ain't eating health. I don't eat health. I want you to eat healthier.
I don't fuck this California shit.
I'm gonna do what I want to do.
I know, but I want you to know because...
How many people you know who been eating vegan and eating green shit their whole life is still
got cancer?
I'm not gonna deprive myself of a motherfucking thing that's saying, and God made my own
fall off.
And I could have used that same arm to eat a cheeseburger.
I'm gonna be trying to do that.
But if they're saying that you eat too many greasy foods,
I worry.
They say fat, 50, and fat, all called gas, gallstone.
Okay, okay, let's move on to that.
Yeah.
I'm just, I just said that.
She can get gallbladder.
Anyone can't.
Yeah, my cousin, she was 21 when she had her-
My daughter was in her 20s when she had it.
Yeah. It just pop up, who 20s when she had it. Yeah.
It just pop up. Who knows, don't get it.
Don't do that health issue, man.
I'm not even on my fucking chat bar.
Fuck Troy?
Yeah.
Chalk bar.
You said Chalk bar?
She said the authentic Asian way.
Oh yeah, Chalk bar.
Chalk bar.
She said-
Fuck Troy?
Yeah, Chalk bar.
Yeah, fuck.
The bar.
How did I get Bok Troy out of Chalk bar? I kind of got a two little bit. Did you get it? She's a box. She's a box. She's a box. She's a box. A box.
How did I get box joy out of chalk box?
I kind of got a tool.
Did you get it?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I know what she's saying.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's box joy.
But anyway, um,
that's right.
It's right.
It's right.
Is that gum?
It's um,
she'll hate it.
Hawaiian candy.
You want to try Hawaiian candy?
Miss pet, Miss pet. If you're ever Hawaiian, you got to, well, you should hate it. You want candy? You want to try who I can't you miss pet pet if you're ever why you got to
Well, you should play like Hawaii theater or something. Yeah, blue. No blue. No blue. No, it's a little too small
It's too small too small for us. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Have you played out there yet? No, I have oh my god
I got book doing COVID and we canceled oh
Supposed to go there in Australia, and I didn't do either. Oh, oh my god. Australia. I got a lot of fans in Australia. I know they love comedy out there. They love comedy. They love us.
Yeah, it's great.
And you would crush it over there.
Yeah.
Have you been to any other countries?
Just Canada.
What do you think of it?
I love Canada.
I go all the time.
Where else have I been?
I went to, not Japan.
I went to hell and I went to Australia.
I went to Australia.
I went to Australia.
I went to Australia.
I went to Australia.
I went to Australia.
I went to Australia.
I went to Australia.
I went to Australia. I went to Australia. I went to Australia. I went to Australia. I went to Australia. What do you think of that? I love Canada, you know, all the time.
What else have I been?
I went to, not Japan.
I went to hell, no, not Japan.
Why hell no?
No, because I went to Germany.
Very different.
Very different.
I used to go to Germany.
You put a boat thing about World War II,
they were together.
I didn't know anything about that shit.
So, I could understand why they didn't slow down
on the highway and then a bond.
Yeah, so I remember, I mean,
Luda's son speeding on Autobahn,
oh, that's a fuck, what do you mean?
And I told her, got slow to fuck, damn.
Oh, wow.
Cause they don't have a speed limit
and everybody's in a city station way.
Oh, how fast were they going?
Probably a hundred.
Oh my God.
You can go as fast as you can.
Whatever, at the auto bond.
And there's no accidents?
No, really.
No, really.
Really?
We probably have more here in America
because these fuckers can't drive.
They really can drive there though, like the cops.
I'm sure, yeah, yeah.
They can do a lot of.
And it's soccer moms.
They got the kids in the back of the car going 200.
Wow.
So when they crashed, they died.
But the food there was bad. When I went there
I didn't like to like Germany food. The only thing I got I don't remember really remember
it because I was in my mid 20s so people would I eat I remember getting a guy role,
gyro whatever you call it. Euro. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I call it a jar. Yeah, yeah.
And that was the best one I ever had.
Oh, a Euro.
Well, I love, that's, I love euros.
Yes.
With the PETA and the white, what's that white sauce in there?
White sauce.
Oh, that's a Ziki.
Ziki, that's a Ziki.
Yeah, yeah.
That's the white sauce.
Yeah, white sauce.
I love Greek food in general.
Yeah.
Is there food you don't like?
Indian I'm gonna throw some foods and then you go yes or no
Okay, ready? Korean
No, have you had it?
Not really
How the fuck do you know? Is it Chinese food? No, it's not Chinese food
Is that fucking Chinese food? You don't like Chinese food? No, it's not Chinese food. Is that fucking Chinese food? Chinese food.
You don't like Chinese food?
Oh wow.
Wow.
Japanese food like sushi.
I just had sushi today.
I do sushi.
You do sushi.
Yeah.
Okay, so that's good.
But I don't eat Chinese food.
Okay, you don't?
You like the people though.
They're nice people.
Yeah, I love the people.
Oh yeah, yeah.
It's not anything. Well, I love the people. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, so it's all, anything.
Well, the Chinese are different from Koreans.
The Chinese will eat anything.
If it moves and it blinks, they'll eat it.
True.
If it, if it's your rock and does that, they'll eat it.
Like, my name is Abaddi.
No, you're not.
I'm gonna choose say that.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, don. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Like don't blink or the, yeah.
So the Chinese will eat anything.
Like they'll eat like butterfly wings or, you know what I mean?
Or like the toenails of a fucking mirror cat.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I love it.
Really?
Yeah, yeah.
But like, but Korean, I'm Korean.
Korean.
We eat cow pork, but we eat all the pork.
Like we eat the butthole. We do, yeah.
We eat the butthole.
Yeah, we do.
So what do you call it?
Butthole butthole?
No.
I don't know what.
Be fast.
Be fast.
Be fast.
I know that lunch show is like, you know, eat the testicles, the penis.
Well, you know, I'm playing no dig now.
You know, but like we're chillin' from the tail end. Not me anymore. Yeah dig now. You know, black with your chilies from the chitlin. That mean anymore. Yeah.
Yeah. I just don't eat that. I don't, I don't, I'm, I'm
I don't eat that. Ascrap, she would eat balloon. Oh, I don't
know. Do you know what balloon is? It sound like a whale.
Yeah. It's like a, it's a fill in the Philippines where I'm
from. That's what it's, it's the food they eat. It's supposed
to be super nutritious. But it's basically fertilized like duck egg.
No.
I know, but the egg, so.
So it looks like that.
That's a baby.
That's a baby.
I know, but the day we eat it, so they eat that.
Oh.
I've had it.
Yeah, he's had it.
What's he put on?
What's he put on?
What?
You wouldn't try it.
You put what you eat on it.
What do you season it?
You put a sauce on it, right? You put a sauce on it, right? Like put your eat on it. What do you season it with?
You put a sauce on it, right?
Like a little sauce, all right?
And then you just eat the fucking ducks, babies?
That's what they do, yeah.
That's what they do, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
You could taste the feather sometimes.
So, oh, y'all, taste bugs, the fuck.
What do you mean?
I mean, I'm sure it's in the black community there.
They're all mals.in' they have all miles.
Yeah, yeah.
But that's about a stream I've seen black folks chillin'.
What is Chitlin'?
The pig and testin'.
Oh, big and yet.
And then when they take it out,
they had an asshole connectable.
We cut the asshole out.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And it stinks like shit.
I'm not eating that shit.
Oh, okay, okay.
No, I'm not.
We were just talking yesterday about how apparently
like some places serve calamari,
but it's actually the butthole of the pig.
Yeah.
Because it looks the same.
So if you blanch it and you take the smell of the shit out,
you deep fry it, it all tastes the same.
It all tastes the same.
Seafood fraud.
Yeah, it's the best fraud.
Yeah.
I'm not ordering you.
I'm not ordering you.
And you know, I kind of thought that was a lie.
Because it ain't that many Osterpuss,
they're missing arms.
I knew because I was like,
oh my.
Ain't that Osterpuss?
Osterpuss.
Osterpuss.
Okay, so the rings are their arms?
The squid.
The squid.
Squid, yeah, yeah.
It's an Osterpuss. Squid, squid. It's squid. I thought Kalaman was Oster The squid, the squid. Squid, yeah, yeah. It's octopus.
It's squid, squid.
I thought that caramel was octopus.
No.
Squid.
But if you say, you know,
they're the same thing,
they're the same amount of small of it.
No, octopus are like a Samoan version of squid.
And you're not as best to eat his arms.
You're gonna give you more.
You're gonna give you more, yeah, yeah.
But the color marri, you have the round part,
which is like the body, and then you have the round part, which is like the body,
and then you have the tentacles,
which those are things that curl.
Yeah, but that's how, oh, you see,
you do this.
So when you cut out their arms, do they drown?
Do you kill the whole thing?
I don't know, I've never really,
I don't know.
I do you don't make it a wall to say,
make it out, I see you when your arms go back.
You know, I actually catch octopus in the water,
like I kill them.
Yeah. And I cook them and I eat them.
And we have to boil them for 40 minutes.
I'm not you.
So oceanally.
The oceanally, deep diver.
Yeah, I dive and stuff.
No, but you got to.
Like if you want like scallops or you're like,
you're wearing Hawaiian, you're like,
we'll get the fresh.
If you want the feet, you wouldn't miss Pat.
I got you. Good fish.
I got this.
You stay up out to position.
Yeah.
But you will die deep and get you fresh shit. Miss Pat, I got you. Good fish. I got you. You're not missing a stab out to put this in. Yeah.
But you will die deep and get you fresh shit.
Yeah, I will.
But then the octopus, you have to boil for at least
like 40 minutes because they're so, so, like, tough to eat.
So you got to, like, kind of tenderize them that way
before you grill them.
There you go.
I'll show you a picture.
I'll pull up a picture.
Why are you confused?
What are you confused about?
Because I can see her in the ocean,
stab in the shit out of her eyes.
Look at that, you gotta tell her the full thing.
You don't actually, you have to bite it.
So when I grab the octopus, I have to find its eye
and I have to bite it and kill it in the water
because that's the most humane way to do it.
But you bite the eyeball?
But the brain, you have to kill it until it turns white.
So you shake it so you just orient it, you confuse it. But you bite the eyeball. But the brain, you have to kill until it turns white. And that's what I like.
So you shake it so you just orient it.
You confuse it.
Yeah.
And then you're gonna bite.
Why would you want to do that?
Ow!
Yes, yes, my people.
You nasty son of bitches, that is a white cat.
Oh my fucking god.
I know, I know.
Why would you do that?
That was somebody fucking baby.
I know.
I know.
He's still biting the gut. He's got to kill him quick.
We'll kill you some mouth.
So I suppose don't like to get bit, so they do that?
No, I mean, you're crushing its brain.
You're basically taking killing it as fast as possible.
What does the, let me ask you,
when you bite into it, there's this shit squirt in your mouth.
No, but it inks, right?
So it's gonna push out the ink and like try to
I think we use in things
Is it the what? I think we use in pens. Yeah, I'm I don't know No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Yeah, yeah, so that's not for you. But maybe it's Pat, but in a world,
in a world, let's suppose there's World War Three
and then we had to go back to our roots.
And-
Black people who say nobody asked to play this there.
I know, but-
It's efficient.
Efficient, but you would still have to do things
that were outside, you know.
Here, Miss Pat, this is the octopus and the fish
that I got last time.
She bit that. That's that woman. She's looking at the same way she looked at your butthole.
Yeah, yeah. That is it. That's insane. This is where women cooked them. Yeah, it's probably the fish cooked
octopus. But I thought you probably the fish cooked the octopus.
But I thought you do you see that the octopus though and squids are intelligent beings? Very sentient. It hurts. I cry when I eat them. I cry when I kill them because I'm like,
you know, it's not. Why do you have to kill them? It's like you ain't craving them.
Well, I
it's no different from me. It's like the world. Well, once you just do it,
nobody really gives a fuck if you kill a fish.
Right.
Because they fuck and they let go babies,
and the babies go to the bottom of the sea and roll up.
Yeah, that's true for sure.
And they come back up first, you know.
But I don't think we supposed to be fucking buying
ox to put his brain.
It's pretty wild.
I know he's pretty wild.
Yeah, it's wild.
It's, you know, you start to take things off Earth
that we might need.
You don't know what the fuck we need to ask for.
They might be in a cleaning and see.
So we eat them all.
Who the fuck, I mean, find and need my ring.
Yeah, right, right, right.
I'll take that into consideration next time I dive.
I'm really sensitive to them.
I only started killing them this year.
I know, but if they're sentient people,
which means they, they, I get a fuck you up. Do you they they I get a fuck you up. Can they fuck you up? They fight back
They're really strong like this one was like not as some people have like really big octopus and they'll wrap around you
They'll fight back, but no, they're not so when they wrap around you would I drag you to the bottom of the ocean?
They're not that bad. What's the biggest octopus? What's it called?
There's one that's the like the giant. Yeah, well, they call giant octopuses. I think they're not that bad. What's the biggest octopus? What's it called? There's one that's the giant?
Yeah, what?
Are they called giant octopuses?
I think they're called Eric.
So people don't fuck with those.
No, but they're also really hard to find
because I think they're very deep dwelling.
We're very deep.
I can't get to those.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I think you only see them when they're dead
and they've already surfaced and floated to the surface
or something like that.
So what did we learn today?
Small penis. Small penis for 30 minutes.
Small brain.
Small penis.
Small penis.
Small penis.
This is by octopus.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's what we learned today.
I'm so glad the octopus is in the ocean.
Can you imagine if the octopus went in daycare,
those kids would be here.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's what he walked in.
And so everyone, listen, Miss Pat, I have to say, I just woke up.
And you really woke me up.
You may be laugh so hard today, where I couldn't even breathe.
I know you by the club, but why did you paint your nails?
Because they're just figured.
He doesn't like the way they look underneath the color.
He masked it.
I think it's just your thumb though, the rest of your nails are so...
Yeah, but I just don't like the way they're shaped and stuff so I just kind of...
That's your heritage.
You got square fingers.
Classic Koreans.
Yeah, square fingers.
I've never thought of that.
That's your heritage, dude.
I don't like it.
It's something like dating now again. I just kind of hide it. He's got his, dude. So I don't like it. And somebody dating now again, I just kinda hide it.
He's got his toenails done too.
My toenails are done too, you know.
Well, what's the problem?
Nothing, close the show.
Yeah.
I will.
So what are you?
Filipino.
Okay.
She's half Filipino.
So anyway, go check out Miss Pat in all her dates.
Check out her new show on BET.
Miss Pat settles it.
Miss Pat settles it.
Go to misspatcomedy.com.
Yeah, go to misspatcomedy.com.
And also I wanna say, please come back.
You know.
You're our favorite guest.
You know what?
No one makes me laugh harder than you.
I think you're the funniest person on planet earth.
Thank you. I really do. So give
her a round of them.
So if we need to travel to see even more of this big family, whether it's in England
or in New York, the solution is obvious, get an Airbnb.
Not surprisingly, everyone has their specific requests, so we need a big, common space
for all the kids, but also some privacy.
And then if we can get an Airbnb with a pool, well, I become the hero.
Fortunately, with Airbnb, accommodating everyone's needs is easy.
So we love to cook, and a great kitchen is top of the list.
We may not be at our house, but we know with an Airbnb, we're going to feel right at home.
Whether you're traveling with friends or with family for a big celebration or just to
get away, get an Airbnb.