TigerBelly - Neal Brennan & The Vietnamese Spring Roll

Episode Date: May 1, 2024

Comedian Neal Brennan stops by for a 2nd visit and Bobby shares an encounter with a comedian he has wronged. We chat Family Fued, cuddling, dagobah system, obnoxious laughs, ayahuasca, and the main missions of life. Download the app today and use code BELLY for a first deposit match up to $100! PrizePicks: “Pick more. Pick less. It’s that Easy!”  

This is real. Period, period, period, period, period, blood, period, blood. I don't want to I just woke up so I just don't even know. I have a question for you. What? Do you really think if something. What does that have to do with her? Because it's construction all night long in my house. That's what I slept through. Why did you? He's doing interior designing to his home. Oh, interesting. And it's so beautiful. You've never saw it? I have.

Just now? What are you changing? No, not like last week I did. You go see it with the furniture? I haven't. Go see it. I will. No, no, go see it now.

Wait, what are you changing? No, no, no, I'm gonna see it after. Literally, can I just say, I haven't. Go see. I will. No, no, go see now. Wait, what are you changing? No, no, no, I'm gonna see it after. Literally, can I just say, I think her name is Sarah. Is that Sarah, right? It could, it may or may not be. Can we say that? Yeah, it is. Yeah.

So it is Sarah, okay. So she did the interior design of Esther and Dave King's house. And I told Bobby, if there's someone who has to do the inside of your home, it has to be her. And she's freaking incredible. She's pretty good. She's real good, I mean.

She's amazing. Well, I haven't seen the final result, but you know what, it's expensive. I would have never thought to do what she's doing upstairs. It's so cool. It's beyond cool. You know what I did though for her? She goes, what are you thinking?

What am I thinking, what are you thinking? You know, whenever they ask me that, I have to get. What your preference is? Yeah, I get argument enough. Okay. She goes, what are you thinking? What are you thinking? You know, she's like, what are you,

she goes, what's your problem? I go, oh yeah, you're right. I'm yelling. I'm yelling at her. So what are you asking me? And she's like, how about the interior? Like what's the vibe? I go, what's your vibe?

No, I go, I just said one thing, old boy. Oh, interesting. Yeah, and she goes, okay. She got it. I know she got it, but she came back with her version of whatever that word is. That's what's fun about interior design, guys. If I was an interior designer and you told me old boy

and I'm like a father fucking his daughter. That's hearsay. Or just not true. Or just not true. It's just a movie, it's just a movie. They didn't do it in real life, yeah, you're right. Like octopus, like a live octopus being eaten. Here we go, here we go.

There we go, exactly. That is a very, you can, I feel like- Give me a movie that you would do for yours. Probably some mid-century- No, just give me a movie. Like the vibe? Okay, here. The Royal Tenenbaums. Oh, interesting.

That's a really good one. I like that. That's easy. Any Wes Anderson film, really. Yeah, just watch, yeah, you can, Oh, that's a really good one. I like that. That's easy. Any Wes Anderson film, really. Yeah, just watch, yeah, you can, but there's some movies, it's hard. Yeah.

Like, what would be a hard movie? Oh, I know. Civil War? Sicario. Sicario's hard, Sicario's hard. Yeah, yeah. That is tough. With the dead bodies, the walls. Civil War is not hard.

You just split it in half. You have American flags on one half, right? And just like plant parenthood posters in the other half. And then you just put some bonfires and some fires and some debris. And then we got it. You know what I mean? But yeah, like parenthood would be hard.

Yeah, that's a little too just like. Regular, it's regular White House. Yeah, if you a little too just like. Regular, it's regular White House. Yeah, if you went for more extreme like Dune. Oh, Dune's a little bit of a bless-can-tick though. No futuristic, but also minimalistic. So it has to have the future stuff, right? Which Dune though, like the Sand Dune or the Dune with the nice Atreides world?

Well, that's what I'm saying, you have to incorporate both, right? So you have the Atreides world, which is like super modern. Yeah. And then you also have the elements of raw nature. Of raw nature, baby. And how do you do the sand worms?

You just buy one. You buy worms and put them all over your house. Buy just a bunch of worms. But then you got to do something with their faces. Little masks. Oh yeah. You know, the big mouth. Yeah, the vagina.

Anyway. You see vaginas when you see it? When I see the popcorn, yeah. Wait, what came first, the sand worms or tremors? Wait, the sand worms, because Dune was, yeah. Dune was old. Oh no, no. What came first?

Kevin Bacon? Yeah, what was your question again? The which part, the very beginning? Start over. I'm construction. You said if it ain't broke, don't fix it, but do you really believe that, or do you think that regardless of if something's broken

or not, you should do regular maintenance? And no no as is Because you know right now the my laundry door is completely broken how I? Can't figure out the latch broke or something so it's like kind of wobbly. No. No I can fix that. It's just off its track If you fix it to me, I'll give you some money That's how desperate I am for that. You know what? No need. I used to live here. Thank you for all the free rent.

I'll fix that for free. That's your 10 years of rent. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I have to say, Kailila and I, Andrew Santino, Esther Provinski and Gene Hong, Saturday we did Family Feud. Wow. Thank you. Thank you. The Lee family. Can I just describe to you the vibe, the weeks leading up to this? Chill, right? Chill, calm, everyone excited.

Oh, so namaste. Okay. What are you talking about? Why is this chaos? I'm always panicky. We were in a full panic. Outside of Esther, Esther's just like, I'm okay being in the loser's circle.

Oh, that's what it is. And I'm gonna say this, right, without calling anyone out, that was the wrong attitude. Okay? Without calling anyone out, that was the wrong attitude. I mean, some of her answers were odd-apoccal. Also can I... They were dude pro I almost one time she goes she said it I go okay answer okay I said okay answer it was pissing me off dude right

because she was going for laughs. What? Yeah she was going for laughs and I was and you go to win. I want to excuse it because she also like gave birth like six days prior. That's no excuse. That's impressive. That's no excuse. That's impressive. The vagina was still healing. That's not her brain. If the baby came out of her brain, that's one thing, but it's like no. I don't find that an excuse. Her attitude was a too lackadaisical, right? And she didn't care, okay? So I'm not calling anyone out, but I am, okay?

Number two, I love her though, like family. Number two, we were ripped off. Oh. I truly. I'm not gonna tell you what the results are. Yeah. But could you allude to why do you feel ripped off? Oh, oh, it's.

Just allude, give me the general. If when you watch it. No, they're gonna edit all that out. You you feel? Oh, oh. Just allude, give me the general. If when you watch it. No, they're gonna edit all that out. You think? Oh yeah, yeah. There's no way they can edit that out. We still made a lot of money for Special Olympics. We did win a lot of money for them.

Yeah, I think we did a good job. You're right, right. Another thing was, we were so nervous. So nervous when we got there. When you see me on national television, all you're gonna see is armpit sweat. Like this isn't an exaggeration. I had to tell like, you know,

when they do touch-ups and makeup, I'm like, this is a really weird request, but can I get two pieces of paper towel to like dab my armpits? Cause they were like, Kailila, your armpits, just pure sweat, pure pressure. I wanted to perform so well. She took a shower with her clothes on. It was insane.

Did you do the Kim Kardashian wet hair? I wish, I mean, I didn't need to, I was just sweaty. Because Bobby leading up to this, he's like, you cannot fuck up, you have to do that. I know the word. Oh my God. I'm a terrible leader. So what was the group strategy before?

He interrupted hair and makeup and he went up to Esther and I and he was like, you guys cannot fuck this up for me. The group strategy was, you know, we're here to win. Like we're not here to play, we're here. Someone was there to play on our team. I'm not calling anyone out. Yeah, they gave birth.

Yeah, I'm a tank tank, sir. That's insane. But you know when people huddle, when you had the chance to steal? Our huddles were serious. We were really critically thinking in those circles. Well, I realized who the real leader, not leader, but he is the brains of the operation,

was Gene. It was Gene. But he was wrong. So would you say MVP? That was my pitch, why are you stealing? That was my pitch. I can't fucking believe what you're doing right now. I can't fucking believe you right now.

It is out of control. Oh my God. You're trying to be funny. You were trying to be funny. Are you fucking out of your fucking mind right now? Oh my God, oh my God. It's odd I couldn't feel what you're doing right now. I swear to fucking God, dude.

Anyway. Chill out. Chill out, anyway. It was a pleasant experience. But can I say one last thing too, okay? So Steve Harvey goes to- You like him? It's nice.

He went to Flavor Flav. They do a 30 minute, they do a 30 minute, my boy. You know what I mean? What up man? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, stories though. They go back like 30 years. In 1988, that kind of stories, you know what I mean?

They come to me, and I went and hugged him, didn't I? I ran and hugged him in mid, like while he was walking, I just ran and hugged him, didn't I? I ran and hugged him in mid, like while he was walking, I just ran and hugged him, came back, and then I go, I know we don't have no story, you know what I mean? You said, I know we don't have no stories. I know we don't have no stories, you know what I mean? He goes, but you, I know you.

I go, what? He's like, he said a while back, I saw something on a podcast you said. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, in a summer, you know what I mean? Oh! Summer camp, summer camp. Summer camp or summer camp. He brought pedal.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And my eyes were like. I didn't even, I was like, what is going on here? Because now I have to talk about it, go get him. And he goes, I can't say it on television. And then later he whispers to me, molested, huh? Like with this, you know, he has the card over his mouth, right, and I'm like, that's my fame?

Anyway. Also the whole time that Flava Flav and Steve were like, you know, talking about the past, the whole time Bobby's like, what the fuck? Yeah, I know, I was I was your commentary yeah he's fucking guys hello Dr. Strange loves please sit long kiss Hi. Long kiss. Oh, I don't know. Deep long kisses. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know about that. I don't know what you're doing. I like this. I haven't been this close to you in a long time. I haven't been close to you for like that year. I think you're making fun of me.

I don't know what you're doing. No, no, no, I'm not. I was just like, I just woke up so I'm in silly mode and I was apologized for even doing me. I don't know. No, no, I'm not. I was just like I just woke up So I'm in silly mode and I was apologized for even do no great if I mean you can come in and no I'll meet over I mean there Yeah, I have silly mode. I think you do but yours isn't hard to read your silly. It's smarter Yeah, his silly mode is like more. Um, it's well written. It's well written. It's just silly more structural Yeah, but my more instinctual. Yeah, I totally agree.

Yeah. And my instincts are always wrong. I'm a big fan, but, um, so let's begin. Um, is it cold? Yeah. I wanted to sort of be cool. I wanted to like be, how many times have you done this so far? So your podcast? Three times. I mean now it's like she's becoming a guy that's done it the most almost. I don't think that's true. Did you end up getting Argus?

No. But I think Eric Griffin's done a lot. The most is Theo. Seven. Eric Griffin, three? Something like that, yeah. I mean you're like your second. Thank you.

No, I mean I love it. I was last for a long time. Oh, we're making up for it. I was dead last. Yeah, you were absolutely dead last. Not even in. It wasn't a personal thing. I was on the board. No, I know it was an algorithm thing. No, it wasn't even out. It wasn't even algorithm. It wasn't even algorithm. It was professional. It's professional. It was professional. But you and God, but you know everything's personal in show business. Oh I live it. No, I know you do everything's personal. That's why you think I'm gonna just buy that it hurts it hurt

Like oh, well if it's just professional, oh, so you don't respect me professionally fantastic. Like here's what I'm doing I'm overcompensating from my from my I know Proving the point that it was. But I'm getting more, I'm more popular. That's not what it is. I honestly don't, I also, you know, I think it's more of an intimidation factor where it's like, I didn't have Mark Maron on

for a very long time. Yeah. You know, there's certain guys I would never even ask. Yeah. And there are friends of mine, so I don't think it's that. But we could argue, you know, for ages, you know, I mean and we'll never know the truth I know we'll never get to the bottom of your that you're of what you did know what you did But the reality is because you're too. You're me. You're me and you're high and mighty but Mike

Here's the thing who you are. I'll tell you who you are, right? You're And where's my close-up? Yeah, you're... Where's my close up? Yeah. You're the bridge, you're the bridge between, you're the bridge between working class and the elite. Great. Do you know what I mean by that? I do. What are you now? Working class.

You're still working class? Oh yeah. You seen the money you're making? I don't make any money. What, have you guys tricked him? You don't even know what I mean by working class. It's not about money. It's about where you were from.

Like, you know, you blue collar people can make a lot of money and become millionaires. But I'm cheap. I bet I'm cheaper than you are. It's not about cheap. Okay. It's not about cheap. It's like, you're sort of like, like Lex Friedman-y.

Oh wow. What are you getting angry for? Am I, no, I'm not getting angry. I think what he's saying is that you're- When you say Lex Friedman, you mean severely autistic? No. I think you're just a little bit more like high brow and you're like low brow.

No, it's not just that. It's like he has a connection to the elite comedy group Oh, right. that me and Andrew do not, right? Right. And it's like, we look at your weren't all because you dip in so many different things. You're sort of like the Morpheus.

Like you can go to the real world and you can go to the matrix. You know what I mean? I just want to be Kevin Hart. You're not, you'll never that. I know. You're never gonna be that. I know, it's so upsetting.

Is that the goal you think is Kevin Hart or do you think that's? No, no, no, no. I feel like that's such a scary place to be. No, no, no, no. You don't wanna, I would, like I said to somebody, if I'm going to Philadelphia, I might as well do the stadium. You're right, you're right. If I'm going to Philadelphia, I might as well do the stadium. You're right.

If I'm going anyway, why do a thousand seater when I could do the stadium? Yeah, but would you rather play the punchline over cobs? Forget the money, forget the money. I'd rather do, well, without the money, I'd rather, I think I'd rather do Cubs. The punchline's better, but like, it's not that much better to me.

To me, it's night and day. Yeah. To me, the punchline feels almost... We're done with San Francisco. We could, me and Rainnappy. What? We are. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We absolutely are. No, the punchline is intimate. Yep. You can crush hard. And it's just, it also has what the comedy store has in my opinion where it's like, it's in a time capsule. It's like, it's in a time capsule. Prize picks, guys.

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Let's go. I believe it. Let's go. She was, she, and she came to San Francisco and saw me at cobs and she was, she had such a loud laugh that people complained. Really? Yeah. And she really, she had like a, an insanely loud laugh, but you had, you know what I mean?

But she's on my side. That's like Janice from Friends, right? Yes. She had the most obnoxious laugh. Yeah, but like. Is that a deal breaker for you over time? It was a good question. It wasn't a deal breaker over time.

It wasn't. There were other things, but that wasn't one of them. What you do is you don't tell them about their laugh. You just laugh like them and then they get the hint. So they go, I go, like that. What the hell is that?

And eventually they start going, I laugh like you do too. This is where I feel like, he's like, all right. This is where I feel like men are not as shallow. Thank you for everything. Thank you for everything. Typically I would say that men are a lot more shallow

with things like physicality and stuff. But what about- No, no, I'm saying, but this is where you're not. I hate being accused of something. You would physically, like you would put up with someone's obnoxious laugh, whereas I would, that's a sensory ick for me and it would, it's not something I can live with, I'm out the door.

I cannot do it. I don't care how hot and great he is. It's like, my sensory cannot handle that. We went over the ick list last time I was here. Right, we did. And I have some new ones. And I'd love to go over, I don't think I have an ick list. That's what I mean, I have none.

Like anything will do. Any type of behavior, scent, voting record, I don't believe, yeah, does not. Confederate flag, tattoo on their chest. Everything, right? Yes. I could have dinner with them for the first date and their eyeball could pop out.

Burping, farting. And I'd pick it back up and stop, get sick of it back in. Yeah, but you guys are talking about, but you guys are talking about people you would hook up with. I'm talking about people to partner up with. It depends on how hot they are.

That's what I'm saying. Anybody, we can fuck, but I'm just saying someone you have to live with day in and day out. Then you'd have some ick. What would you have the ick of to live with somebody? What would you endure? I may never live with anybody again. There we go.

Really? Same boat. I I Have I want to be vague Please don't okay girlfriend and I rented her a house near me. They're enough very good Elite elite. Yeah, I feel like that's not I feel like that's a move He would be really into just like separate quarters separate home I feel like that's a move he would be really into. Just like separate quarters, separate homes. Yeah, what's the advantage? Honestly, what's the advantage of having this all the time?

It's you're not gonna, you just get sick of each other. It's not natural. I'm seeing a girl sometimes when she comes up, you know. She came up, come, come, come. You just say seeing a girl, you know, she came up. You just say seeing a girl. You don't have to. So yes, sometimes. It's like, this turned into like the first 48.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm tired. I'm tired, tired, tired. Yeah, yeah. I wasn't there. I wasn't there. I wasn't working. I see a girl sometimes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So. Well, what's a lot? Oh, so, um, and she comes and went and for two days and she's from a different state and then she'll go, you know, Hey, I'm just going to sleep in the spare room. And I go, well, the first night times she said, I was like, why? She's like, I just, am I going to sleep well next to you? And you're not going to sleep well next to me. So I'm not asleep in the other room, but I'll see you in the morning and I went oh, that's what that's the healthy

That's the good stuff. Yeah depends. It's person to person. So no they're okay with it. You're very sensitive You do not like we are no Neil and I Don't do this. I like this blocking that really reads Side with me for a second. Okay, I'm right here, bro. You're on my team. I'm all day. Yeah. I think that in every relationship, it's good to have separation a little bit. What do you think? Yeah, but that's not what we're talking about.

That's like a generalization of what I'm saying. I'm saying like there are some people who love to intertwine and noodle their legs together, like I'm somebody like that. We noodle. Yeah, but I couldn't noodle with you. You guys don't need noodles. What are you talking about? Noodles? You're anti-noodles.

I get it. Yeah, exactly. Hello, I know noodles. No, you guys are anti-noodles. His people invented noodles. Yeah, yeah. The Italians stole it from them. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Anti-tuttle. He knows everything. Anti-noodle, and that's fine. I think, but for somebody like you, and maybe like you, I think Italian style is better. Separate beds, separate separate quarters Frida Kahlo Diego there's Rivera That's the vibe you guys have a bridge you're have separate lives and you come together once in a while clear this out

So you can really make the point. I'm agreeing with you by the way. I don't know why you're so hostile I'm not being hostile. I'm just saying that there's time for noodling and there's time for sleeping. When do you noodle? During sex only no, I've've noodled with you before. Don't talk about his dick like that. Why are you getting emotional? Why are you getting emotional? I feel like you're getting emotional. The only time you've ever noodled with me

is if this, Neil, if he wants me to watch six seasons of West Wing. Noodle time. And it's like, look, I don't want to watch six seasons of West Wing. He's like, all right, well, I'll give you a noodle if you watch six seasons. I'm so desperate for noodles.

I'm like, I'll take it. So he uses it as a bargaining chip, the noodling. What? All right. Please, please. Did it ever lead to sex? The noodling? The West Wing. No, no, no.

West Wing was serious business. Yeah, this is just- It's serious business. No, it's the American people. It's freedoms on the line. Although, you know what did lead to sex was my 600 pound life. Let's not get into this anymore. You're right, but let's not get it.

It gets weird. All right? All I'm saying, let's go back to the point. OK, let's not talk about the 600 pound. Let's just move on. All right, so all I'm is right that Neil and I believe that a healthy relationship is there's good some Separation him getting Airbnb was I think a healthy move. I love that for you. Thank you hear the for you For you for you specifically for you

And I want that for you No, I don't want it. Would you want to stay? Would you like, women are so old fashioned. Like you want to sleep in the bed with the guy. I do, yeah. I'm just somebody that likes to feel held and cuddled. Not all the time. Like during the day, of course, I need my time to pick my nose and stick a thumb up my ass, like alone I at night at the end of the day when we're coming together With love in our hearts sure. I'd like the warmth of a body I'm just a flock animal. I'm somebody I'm a dog that likes to sleep with other dogs in the same came to the right place

What do you mean by that you're a fucking dog. You know what I meant. There you go. Yeah, yeah, I am. That's right I am. Yeah, you're goddamn right. Do you not feel that like want for like warmth? I don't like snuggling. You've heard, have you ever heard of his stand up? He's dating a woman who he's who like wants to

snuggle, right? and It's I get nothing from it. It feels like work really. Yeah, it feels like you're like I love hugging Y'all know I love fucking do you were the best hugger I've ever done I tell you you know what your great to the best name your cheeky Do you do my work you did you invent that because you my work speaks for itself it works so good You're the best in the game. Your cheeky. My work. Did you invent that because you my work speaks for itself. It works so well. And what I'm saying is I so once I'm trying to go to sleep, I drool.

No one needs it. That's that's human. Right. But I'm I'm I'm I'm a big but I like drool like a puddle. It's not, it goes beyond what you're maybe. Maybe not say that out loud, but anyway. Are you mouth agape sleeper? I am a mouth agape sleeper, yeah.

Yeah, that's a vision I don't need to have. Yeah, no, it's not great. Yeah, but it's just, there's no advantage to me. It just feels like work. I get that. So, may I say something? I love hot cuddling, but there's a time and place for everything. Okay. I also like, you know, skateboarding. I don't. What do I say? I'm just forget. I also like

playing video games. Yeah. Something I play. That I know you do. Yeah, exactly. Thank you, it's believable. But sometimes I don't want to play it. I haven't played video games a month and a half. How, why? There's not a game I want to play. Are you doing drugs again? No.

Great. I'm watching shows. What are you watching? Yeah, what are you watching? I want to get into a show. You're pretending you haven't seen the West Wing before with the new girl? No, no, no. Have you heard of the show seen the West Wing before? No, no, no.

You heard of the show, The West Wing? Well, I mean, I show good I was watching, and then I was watching, I think, and I wanted to say, I don't know if I, maybe say this for another episode, but I'm watching something that's really, really making me happy right now. Fallout. Yeah, I knew it.

Just, can I just say? I heard it's great. Can I just say something about Fallout real quick? Please. Okay. I played, I've played Fallout 3 of New Vegas and full out 4 and these are these are games that you play 20 hours a day for six months. I mean you grind it out They're huge open worlds and there is there's a tone to them and I'm gonna say something they have it dead on Wait, I didn't even realize there was a show now. Well, it's on Amazon, how could you know?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It literally, because I remember when they were making the show, I called my agent and I go, is there anything in there for me? And I just never could get that in audition. You know what I mean? They put you in the other one though, the movie. Borderlands. With Kevin.

Yeah, with Kevin, yeah, yeah, yeah. But so I, and by watching it, I'm literally going, oh, this is spot on. Even the humor, it's spot on. Have you seen it? No, not yet. The trailer looks dope. Did you ever play Fallout?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. New Vegas and 4. Yeah, yeah. It's spot on. The vault is spot on. It's like, and I haven't seen, I've only seen like four episodes.

You know what I mean? So I don't even know what comes on afterwards, but so far it's been great. Anyway, welcome to the show, and you have a new Netflix special. I do have a new Netflix special. And I saw, yeah, what's it called? Crazy Good.

Crazy, it probably is, I haven't seen it. And it's the most successful one. Is it really? I see it, it's been top 10 for the last couple days. Amazing, you're a powerhouse now. You're one of the guys now. Top two. Yeah, in fact, can I say this too?

Whenever I bring you up now, there's a nice cheer. I know, there is. Yeah, and I notice that. I go, Neil Brennan, and there's a big pop. And you know what I say when I follow Bobby? I say that. I know, can I tell you what you say? Yeah.

Because it hurts my feelings. Bobby looks like a homeless Ali Wong. Oh. Oh. Just let this sit. Just let this sit for a second. And now when he's saying it, I'm literally walking toward the entrance. And I always do, so I'm walking towards the-

Women are like ready to fuck him and then they see I'm right and their face falls. Right, right. And then so I'm right and their face falls. Right, right. And then so I'm walking out, my back's turned and whenever he says that I do a turn like this I go. Like a sitcom? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just like.

And I walk out of the fucking room. Now let me tell you what Bobby says about me. No, no. Can I get a Red Bull or a? You don't even try to mix it up. You just say Neil Brennan. He's ugly. That's tough, man.

That's not tough. Let me, let me, can I say, all right. That's a really tough dude. I think you've actually said he's ugly. Here are the four things you say. He's ugly. He looks like Gollum. Okay.

Oh God. He showed me his dick once. And I think you say it's ugly. Okay. He looks like Gollum. Okay. Oh God. He showed me his dick once and I think you say it's small and then it was Translucent like a like a spring Vietnamese spring roll. Yep. Yeah Okay Okay, can I define myself? I'd love I would love you to yeah. Yeah, I don't have you wait. Have you noticed me doing it? lately Now to powerhouse me I haven't I don't think I've done. I don't think I've done a slam like that for a year and a half Oh

Yeah, you have a year Because I'll connect to be honest. I'll tell you why because I'm very mindful about it Whenever I'm bringing you up, I go, don't do that. Wait, is it because he's now getting all these enthusiastic cheers? Thank you very much. No, I believe what happened was I became closer to him. Okay.

You know, I've come to you with so much advice as of late, and you've become sort of like a mentor to me. So like, you don't slime your mentor. So I've been very like, I think I'm being nice. Yeah, Luke Skywalker didn't go fucking give it up for Yoda. He looks like fucking Yoda. I know, but what I'm saying is, but when Luke first saw Yoda, he didn't know he was Yoda.

He treated him like shit. How did he treat him? I don't remember. You remember, he just thought he was a creature on the Degaba system Like he's any and Luke asked him I go Yeah, come on get me to do Yoda cuz Yoda said that he can introduce him to Yoda when he was Yoda the whole time Frank Oz Who plays Yoda great guy? I don't know

He came to he came to see blocks when I was doing it in New York. No, no. And like it, he did not. Wow. Really? Wow. He did not? Wow.

He didn't hate it, but. He didn't love it, he did not. Wow. The voice of Kermit and Yoda. Did he, did you see him after the show? Yeah. Wait, how does someone tell you see him after the show? Yeah. Wait, how does someone tell you they don't like someone? It's in the guide.

They don't, it's you, there's a sense. It's like if you can tell someone what's fucking or not. It's just like you can sense it and they talk around it. They use words, like compliment stuff that's not the thing you want. Like I like your pacing or something. It's like compliment stuff that's not the thing you want. Like I like your pacing or something. I have to say, I don't trust you. To discern whether someone likes it or not?

Because I don't trust my own sense of sense. You have, yours is broken. Me, and I say this with sympathy. I hate, cause you will kill and then you will kill, and then you're like, blah, blah, blah, and then you're like, blah, blah, blah. I know, no. Can I say?

Yeah. Okay. I know that I killed. I just don't like, it's like for instance, I'll give you, like, I'll give you, I'm gonna give you a text. So I go, you know Trailer Trash Tammy?

Yeah, Chelsea. Chelsea, Chelsea Lynn, you know Chelsea Lynn? Trailer Trash Tammy? Okay, so her and I are both in a movie together and she went and saw it at the theater in Nashville, I mean wherever she lives, right? And I go, the last bit of Texas, I think it's got hard, they will show it in rehab for years to come,

you killed it to her. And then she goes, thank you so much, so did you. You stole the show and then I didn't respond to that because I don't like those kind of compliments. Because I didn't steal the show. You know what I mean, when I was in the premiere, people came up to me, you and Theo killed it or whatever. And I don't like those kind of things, so it's like I just kind of changed the subject or whatever.

But it's not about like, so when I'm a kill on stage and you go, you killed it, it's more like, you know what I mean, I don't want to talk about it. You know what I mean? Oh yeah, you know, but I'm not even saying you, I don't think you're wrong though. Like, you know you're good in whatever movie this is. Right? Yeah.

But it's just showbiz. I'm like, you killed it, bro. It just means nothing. It means nothing, yeah. It's something. It's never meant less. I can receive a compliment if I truly feel good about it. If I feel so, so about it, I, I, I can't do it. Then, then it, it feels like, Oh God, like, please, I,

I don't feel like it's genuine cause I have a poor, um, assessment of it in my head. So if it's just okay, do you know what I mean? I agree. So when someone says you absolutely killed it and I don't feel like I killed it, then it's like oh they're really just trying to be nice and make me feel better. But if I really truly feel like I killed it, then great I can accept it. Yeah. So Neil check this out. You've obviously you're present for every one of your shows because you're in it, right? So you've seen thousands, and then imagine a person that's never been to a comedy show ever, right?

You have an okay set, but to them, it was like, wow, he's great, right? They come up to you and go, oh my God, you're so fucking funny. When you thought you had a mediocre set, that's where I think we're the problem, you know what I mean? Yeah, yes, that we see every show, so we're comparing every laugh to the best laugh I got.

Exactly. Et cetera. But to the common person, it could have been the greatest show they've ever seen. Totally agree. Yeah, yeah. The taping of the Netflix is, two of the worst versions of it I did the whole tour.

Really? I still crushed, but it was like, ugh. The whole time I'm just thinking like this and Chappelle said that happened to him one time on his killing himself elite special. What? He's like, that's the worst show of it. Do they not give you, um, was the worst show. Do they not give you the option to get in like editing bay? No, I didn't. No, no, it's not. It again, it's it's great and it's the real

response and everything, but I was just used to like the decibel level and it wasn't that. And you can't let it seep. In the show, you can't let it seep in. You just have to like. Yeah, yeah. You have to just keep going.

But I'm very happy with it. Like Nikki the other day day she was like, they're gonna do that gigantic roast in the auditorium, right? For Tom Brady, is that? Yeah, the Staples Center. The Staples Center. The auditorium. Auditorium, right.

Lakers Auditorium. Yeah, and she's like, it's live. Oh my God. Right, so she's doing roasts live. And she goes, she was nervous about it. And I go, you know what to do. You know what I mean? Just smile as if every joke is the funniest joke ever.

Even if the response is not as good as you wanted it to be or whatever. You know what I mean? It's just, you just, because people watching, they don't know. It's when, like I've seen, I saw a guy on The Tonight Show when I was young, I was a kid. I don't wanna name the comic.

Because he's somebody I love. And he had a bad set, even as a kid I knew. It was a couple watching it, right? And it wasn't the response of the audience on The Tonight Show, it was Johnny Carson. It was how he was responding to their response that bothered me as a kid. And in my mind, even then I was like,

just fix your face. Well, I know, that's the, that's, yes. Yeah. Conan O'Brien said that the other day where he was talking about if somebody's bombing on the show, just don't say it. Yeah. And the host can help you.

Make it, like if the host is laughing, he can get the audience. That happened to me on found I did Fallon like three weeks ago and my first joke didn't it did fine and Jimmy like cheered it and and for and I texted him afterwards I was like for all of like you just stand up on film no I just did panel okay okay but and I was and then it ended up going great, but the first beat just didn't really,

and I text him, for all of the Fallon's fake criticism he gets, it's like, I'd rather that than you having your arms folded and watching me bomb. You know what I mean? That's fucking good hosting. That's good hosting, yeah, yeah, So I want to ask you a personal question right now that's very uncomfortable for me right now because you just brought that up. All right. What's so funny? Okay. Um, so I, when you just said that, like, um, I was, I just

did Andy Richter's podcast at Conan's place over there by Larchwood. I said, what, there? And we were talking about Conan, and he's like, well, Conan might be coming in here. I go, I've never met him. He's like, he was shocked. He was like, you've never met Conan? I go, no.

In fact, I've never met anybody. You know what I mean? No, no, no, I mean, when it comes to like, I know them, right, but I've never been on any talk show. Have you met Fallon before? Yeah, I started with Fallon. So back in the day, we were like doing open mics

and stuff together, right? And then it's like, then he was in the Groundlings. And then in fact, when Seinfeld, the last episode, KTLA, the LA News, they did a segment of who's the next Seinfeld in LA, and they did a segment of me, Freddie Soto, Aisha Tyler, and Jimmy Fallon. And they went to all the clubs and they taped us and stuff, so we were the four, right?

They were O for four. You're right, you're right, you're right. They were, I mean, but, John, why, you're right. They were, I think everybody, but my butt, John, why do you laugh so hard at him? So what I'm saying is that, but I have movies coming out, I have things I'm promoting, I just can never, I just never have done any of them. That, yeah, well, but.

Is it, and then because of that, I think that I'm blue collar, I don't think I'm cool right and all that stuff because I'm never even people will have nothing to promote guys I'm way bigger than guys I'm way bigger than we'll just go and panel and show do you want to be on it I'm you've never been on Seth really and, right when he did the I'll text him right now. Don't text him. Just FaceTime. I don't want that. That's not what I'm asking. I want it from their own. I don't need that. Okay, so when I don't need that. But when I'm saying the awesomes, you know,

Seth's Hulu. Yeah. He offered me a part. So it's not like- I have a worse version of that. They said they were writing a part for me. They cut it. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But you want people to just wake up in the morning and say, you know what, I want Bobby Lee on my show. I don't think that's what he does in the morning.

The whole, that is actually what Fallon does. He does? Oh, oops, sorry. No, no, but the whole thing of show business is, hey, am I worth anything? Am I worth talking to? That's how it was with you. And so when you say it was professional,

not, you know what I mean? So it's like, the whole thing is walking around going like, am I worth talking to yet? Yeah now. Yeah. Yeah, how about now? I would argue you shouldn't do any of them. No, I don't ever want to do them. Yeah, great I refuse to do them. So that's what you mean. Don't think like I'm not gonna do this I don't know if this is well known, but you know me but I heard saying like when I heard when Entertainment Weekly, like a huge magazine,

it gave Happy Gilmore and Billy Madison bad reviews. And then when The Wedding Singer came out, they wanted to add him on the cover and he was like, fuck you. And I don't think he's, then they had to buy a photo of him and put it on the cover. Wow. Yeah.

Wow, wow, wow. Yeah, I think that's true. Yeah. And. Nice. That's insane. I've heard. It sounds true.

No, no, I don't want to say it for like, it's absolutely true, because I've never asked Adam about it. It sounds true. Yeah. But also, you know, Montreal Comedy Festival is done, but I only went once. That was four years ago.

Yes. Right, so all those little tiny things in my mind makes me feel like people can say all the things they want, like you're selling out, or you know what I mean, you're doing this, you're doing that, but it's like there's all these little pieces of evidence that shows me that no, I'm drowning. I have a question. You look like you drown.

Anyhow. What does that mean? You look like a body that's been drenched. Oh yeah, yeah, like floating. Yeah. Waterlogged. Yes. I was waterlogged.

Yes, that's what the joke I was going for. I believe Schumer created that joke format. She did that joke form format. She did that joke on a row. Someone looks like a, a body that got dredged up from the, from the river. Okay. We'll give her the issue with the credit. Shout out to Amy Schumer. Here.

Yes. Okay. Do you think that you were showcasing yourself appropriately to be as popular as you are, meaning like since you've always been as funny as you are right. I would argue that since you've started being on other people's podcasts and doing this podcast, you've shown yourself to be fucking hilarious. Oh my God. You're really going to make me mad today.

Um, why I get the, I don't, I don't even know why I don't even know what you mean. Here's what I found. Here's what I found. Here's what I found. I found that this special is more popular for me. And what I would also say is, and it's probably, the jokes are 15% better than my other specials.

Let me ask you this. Before you even did a Netflix special, did you panel on a show? Panel or stand up? Either one. I did. Fallon was like more of a personal thing. But like Conan had me on once.

That's when you got on. Yeah. Yeah. But never again. Whatever you're saying right now is not true then. Because what I'm saying is I know. No, because since man TV, right? If I go went to Schomburg, but huge room. Yeah, no special I've done right

Yeah, still sell out. So I to me that doesn't track. Well, I've always I'm not going I'm not going I've always done movies. I've always done all the things everyone else did. I would say people's awareness of you, of how funny you are was harder to locate until you started this podcast and the podcast of Santino. Okay. Okay. Let's go along with that. All right. How long have we done Tiger belly? Almost 10 years in 10 years. Okay. I've showcased my ability still no ask Right. Well now now they're just doing it to fuck with you

That's not what it is. No. Yeah, I know I have good authority But I'm okay with it because I like be I you know what from now on you have More people will see the worst episode of Tiger Belly than you on those shows. Oh wow, yeah. Maybe, I don't know what that means, but maybe. Numbers wise, more people will see this. Yeah, that's not my point though. You want the respect.

My point is that I wanna, like you, right? I wanna be, and here, we might have to cut this whole section up because people complain, like I hate when Bobby complains. Right. So I don't even want to do talk about this anymore because people complain about me complaining. I don't like them complaining. What? I don't like them complaining. So anyone listen, how about this? Everyone listening right now. I know it sounds like a pity party, but it's not. I was just let's go to a different section.

Or just do it. Just smile the whole time. No, not that. Yeah, yeah. Let go to a different section. Or just do it, just smile the whole time. No, not do the thing. Yeah, yeah, let's do a different section. I don't like- If it were a party, Bobby would have left a long time ago. Yeah. Go ahead. I do feel really sorry for you though. There we go, I like this. You do?

You do? This is your lady laughing too loud. Yeah. You're right, I'm blessed. I really am, and I had to pinch myself, and there's nothing that's wrong. Oh my god. I have a question. I was thinking about video games, right?

Yeah. So when you said you were playing Fallout for six months, that's the main missions and then are you doing side missions for another month or two? I'm a hundred percent completeness. He's a completionist, yeah. Completionist. Here are my questions for the two anyone in this room I'll be happy. Have you completed? the main missions of life

Fuck you Yeah, yeah, I've done all the side missions What are all the side? Yeah, would you collect it? You know drinking coffee and all that stuff? Running over prostitutes. You're asking us if we're completionists. With our life. Do you feel like you've done the main missions that you were supposed to do? Well, with that question, I have another question.

What's the end of the game? The end of my life? What are the main quests, Neil? Well, end of my life? What are the main quests Neil? Yeah like that's the question yeah what are the main quests? Professionally what are the main quests and did you fulfill them? So my okay that's a very good question so no I have not completed my main missions. Which is to be on Seth Meyers. No no it's not to be that it's it is to um I think one of my main missions is to do a comedy special. Yep.

Another main mission is to, you know what I mean, maybe have a family one day. Another main mission would be, keep going. No, look around. Love you, man. I did complete that. Don't you get it? Oh, I already did.

You had a family your whole time this you yeah go and you've got ten offers to do comedy yeah I'm gonna do it you have every network ask you yeah you're right so I completed the game I should kill myself whatever side mission yeah I'm gonna side mission it yeah I've been side mission and drinking coffee and stuff, buying outfits. Yeah. We did Family Feud Saturday. I saw that. That's so great. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, you know what? I get things that other people don't get too, so it's like, it's cool. But do you want to do them? Do what? The things that other people don't get to do. Did, I mean, I don't want to- I think what I get is, you know,

there are times where I'm, this is what's great about life. I had an A sponsor years ago. It wasn't Dan, it was a guy named Will, before Dan. I was like 17. And he goes, we went to a coffee shop and he goes, write down all the things you want in your life. Like even the biggest dreams, right?

So I wrote down all these dreams and stuff, right? And I showed it to him, he kind of pondered and looked at it and he goes, you know, he said, God is gonna give you not these things, but better things, things that you won't even expect, right? And I think he was right. There were times where, even when we were at Family Feud and I was with her, Santino.

You wanted to be on Wheel of Fortune. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. When you got something better. No, but I was, Gene was, Gene looks at me to be on Wheel of Fortune. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When you got something better. No, but Gene looks at me because we were like walking toward the, you know, the on set and he looks at me and goes, wow, I never thought I'd ever be here.

And I go, even though it's a weird thing, you know, I went, you're right. I like, I never, right. And to be on the panel with you guys, to see Andrew, all my friends. And you know what's funny? Meeting Steve Harvey. Amazing.

I've never met Steve Harvey. I know, he's like, yeah. I don't even know people that have met him. I know, I know, I know, I know. And he was aware of me too, which was shocking. That's hilarious. You know that clip about me being molested by a guy with Down syndrome?

Do I? Yeah, yeah, he goes, me and my friends passed that video around. And I was like, wow, I mean, for him to say that, I was like, wow. And you were like, I love kings of comedy. Yeah, yeah, so I think that if you, I think what's great about life is you just get things

that you don't expect, and I think they're almost better than what you could ever dream of. The accidental side quests. What about you, Neil? I wanna know you first. I don't know what you're doing. I think you're turning the table. I don't like this idea.

No, no, I'm gonna, I'm gonna. Okay, go ahead. I'm like half and half. I think some of the things that I set out to do I might not have completed because they were interrupted but you have a kid I don't okay but then a lot of times those interruptions go ahead okay are you gonna sew your wild oats side mission you have a girl right, I'm living next to him. Look, I can rent another place. So I've always thought this one thing is what I wanted, and there's been usually like a big interruption,

but that big interruption has led me to something that maybe I didn't know I wanted more. What did you think you wanted? If you don't mind saying. Like, my whole life I thought that I was gonna be this really like affluent, like I thought I was gonna be a doctor. I thought I was, I had pictured this,

something completely opposite than this. I never thought I'd ever get to water my creative side, none of that. I thought I was just gonna walk a very straight line. I wanted to be a doctor and that's it. But no, I met Bobby and he was like, wait, I think that like there's this completely other, like side of like, were you a nurse when you guys met? I just, yeah, finished school. Yeah. And he was like, I don't think you should be doing that.

Like you don't seem very fulfilled or happy. And he gave me permission. He was right. I had felt that I couldn't say it out loud. And he was like, figure out what you want to do. I think women should ask their man for permission about everything, including their dream. So I think of Tiger Belly as not a dream, but a side quest that turned out to be a really huge, important chapter of my life. And that's what he's saying. Like you can list all of your dreams and you just really never know like what's

going to pan out for you. But the main things like having a family, having children is something that I want. And that is something that I'm working towards. Have you asked permission? No, she has not. That's a good question. He has not asked. I have tried to ask permission and it's not going well. It's a good question. He has not asked, you know what I mean? I have tried to ask permission and it's not going well.

It's a no. It's a no, but anyway, that's so interesting. Did you think that like, when you pitched, when you were on the Dave Chappelle show, and you're like a producer, writer, you weren't doing stand up then? No. I mean I did it like a little bit. Did you think that you were gonna be like a top comedian back then, like a stand-up that did specials and all that stuff? No, I didn't at all.

Yeah. And like I didn't, so that's why I ask about missions and, cause having it, like I wrote, I wrote Half Baked, I co-wrote Half Baked, I co-created Chappelle Show, and now I did this. I'm just like this shit is fucking unbelievable. Like I can't believe it. Yeah. And so I am I am kind of like I guess it is missions you don't know you have. But this was a mission that but once I started doing stand up like 17 years ago it was like serious. Yeah, I'm always in awe of people like you

because I think I put you in the category and just let me finish before I throw some names on and just let me finish. I love it. Theo Christina Pivinski. Pazitski. Pazitski, yeah. Theo Von, Theo Von Christina Pivinski.

That's esters. I've never heard of either of these, go ahead. The way you say it. I know. Maybe I had an aneurysm or something. There are certain people, right, that were doing one thing in show business, you know what I mean, related,

that had to kind of redefine themselves and kind of almost start over, which is so hard to do. What were they, what do you think, Thea, doing reality show? They were both like MTV reality show people. I didn't know Christina was. She was. What was she doing?

Road rules are one of those. I was gonna say, she was on with Theo. She was on with Theo. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't know that at all. Yeah, so for them to go from, oh we're on a. I remember Theo.

Yeah, yeah. I remember, cause a girl I was dating, this is 99, actually said, you'll think this guy's funny. Right. Like, and I watched and I was like, this guy's fucking funny. Really?

Yeah. And I've brought Theo up like that and he got mad at me. Yeah, he doesn't want you to bring it up. Yeah, but it's like, dude, I don't, I think, I thought you were funny when I was in comedy and you weren't. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And people, he did come come to me and go,

hey man, don't talk about whatever MTV, ever again. Yeah, it's like he figured out a way to be funny in a fucking interview about riding around in a bus. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, you don't even know this, but Jamie Chung, she started off in MTV's real world, San Diego, I think. Oh, she did? Yeah. Oh yeah, so I mean, but it's difficult to do. She's super good looking, right? Yeah, she started off in MTV's Real World. San Diego, I think. Oh, she did? Yeah.

So, I mean, but it's difficult to do. She's super good looking, right? Yeah, she's super good looking. But you did, you know. I have masturbated to her? Yep, go ahead. I went to Israel with her. Yeah, I remember.

Okay, anyway, Bobby, I'm Jewish. Not now. Okay. Yeah, not now. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Give it like two years. Oh, yeah, you're right. You're right.

Anyway, but it's hard to like redefine your something is to go different direction probably. That's why I'm in awe of you guys. It's, yeah, it's, you don't have, I had no, I'm not like I had no options, but I didn't want to do, I like did the Piven movie, it didn't do good. And I was like, fucked.

I was kind of fucked. Like I could have kept, you could have been, probably would have saved it. And so yeah, I didn't have any and so I started doing it and the thing was like I wasn't as good as everyone else. Do you know what I mean? Doing stand up you mean? Yeah. Yeah. Like everyone was better than me. Yeah. I don't know. I don't remember you back then. Yeah. I only remember you back then. Yeah, I only

remember the the good Neil. You met me 20. I never watched you though. I can't watch. Yeah. Yeah. But there was one time where I was like, you're doing well. Many, many years ago and I walked in and I went, Oh, there was always that moment where you see another guy, a guy or girl take it to the next level, and you're like, okay, I saw that with Sebastian when he was fucking terrible, and then one day he destroyed out of nowhere. I was just like, oh, he's there.

It's fun to watch that, people's transformation, or when something clicks. And it's like your first instinct's like jealousy, and then you're like, no, but I can't really be mad at, if you like comedy, you can't be mad at somebody else. People rip off Matt Rife, I'm like, you know what I mean, where did this kid come from? And I'm like, I knew Matt.

Yeah, you see him in the lobby at the Laugh Factory forever, 15 years ago. Grinding it out, that kid. Fuck you. He did it, he's not an anomaly. You know what I mean? Yeah, you get it, he's a very out that kid. Fuck you. He did it. He's not an anomaly. You get it. He's a very good looking kid. I don't think that's the major complaint

is that he made it. What do you think the major complaint is? I mean we can cut it out, but what do you think it is? The major complaint I mean. But we might not cut it out. Go ahead. It's not, it's that he turned on his fan base, right? Which is predominantly women and girls. Is how that's the whole like, you know, the beef,

the cancellation. Oh, I know, yeah, I know. It's not that he rose to the top. He rose to the top because girls absolutely latched on. We love that he's good looking. We love that he's funny. We love that he does great crowd work. Like it was like put him right at the top.

And then he came out with a special that was basically like what they, what a lot of girls felt was like shitting on girls in general. The one bit I saw though about like the restaurant, the host, the black eye, is that what you're referring to? No. No, it's not from the special? It is from the special. He just did like a woman beating joke.

To me it was just kind of like, why are you doing that? Yeah. But I wasn't, I didn't, it just seemed like an unforced error, but it didn't feel like premeditated. I can also see why he's sitting there like, this is edgy and kind of clever or whatever in his mind. So I can understand why he, because a comic doesn't want to hear somebody go, don't do that joke. Then we want to double down and do it anyway, you know what I mean. Whatever in his mind. So I can understand why he, because a comic doesn't wanna hear somebody go, don't do that joke.

Then we wanna double down and do it anyway. So I don't know what his mindset was, but I forgive him for that. I mean, it's a joke. It's so hard to do the right thing all the time, you say. It's like, unforced errors will lead to a cancellation and it sucks that it has to be that way. Yeah, what are most of your unforced errors as a person?

What do you mean unforced error? Like just like, ah, why do I keep doing that? There's so many. Just rank them. No, I mean, name me an unforced error that you think I have so many. Just rank them. No, I mean, name me an unforced error that you think I have. Oh, god. I mean, we- Thank you, guys.

I mean, what the fuck, guys? Let's say maybe, like, let's take even the airy spears. Unforced error in your life. You didn't have to start a beef with that guy. Okay, here's something I wanna thank you for bringing it up because. I'm more than air about to have it. It just hit something, you just hit something.

I wanted to talk to you about it and you just reminded me of it. Okay. Okay. And I'm glad you're here because I want you to hear it. Okay. And I wanna name names. You want these names bleeped? Yeah, can we bleep these names?

Yes. All right. I'll just cover them in my the coffee bottle. Yeah, cover. Do you remember... It's like being in the Yakuza. Oh yes, okay, yes. We talked about this. We talked about it? Yeah, you hit me up. You called me. I know, but I was wrong. Wait, tell the whole story. Alright, so here's the thing. Over the years, okay, me and another comic have had... By the way, Steve Harvey thought you were a. . . .

All right, so over the years, especially, we were pitted against each other when we grew up doing stand-up, and you know, I just, you know, there was a time where he was doing better than me, right, and I got jealous, and because we were never friends or whatever, and then once- When were you? What did you do?

Way before that. Yeah. 95. Really? We opened mics. Okay. We both started in the same city. So he just figured out a few jokes out sooner

than you or something? No, he was a cleaner version of what I was doing. I was so unhinged and crazy, and he was kind of like polite and, you know what I mean? He was like Christian. Yeah, and I was more naked kind of the devil. Yeah. Naked devil, and the people,

the local comics in San Diego. That was your headshot, said Bobby, leave the naked up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they backed him and they didn't back me. And so I didn't have any friends. Anyway, so when we did this podcast, in the early years, I would kind of do some slams or whatever, right? And it was a little mean.

And I feel shame about it, I really do. So a couple of weeks ago, I'm at the comedy store and somebody goes, he's here. And he hadn't been there in years. If somebody says he's here. I already know. To you, you all probably know who it is. I know who it is.

There's a list though. What? There's a list of, he's here. He's number one though. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But not, no, it's, he's here, but then there's, he's here. You know what I mean?

And I responded to this one. He's here, you know what I mean? I ran to the patio. To see him. To say hi. Great. I hugged him. Great.

Oh yeah. And as I'm hugging him, right, his wife is there. So I reach my hand out like this, and I go, hi, her name. And she looks at my hand out like this, and I go, hi, her name, and she looks at my hand, and she goes. Right? And as I went back away, I literally almost started crying. I felt so much shame, you know what I mean,

about my behavior, and just like, why are you doing, this is so dumb, you know what I mean? Do you think you're mean-spirited though No, I don't either. Thank you. You're welcome. I love you so much. I know I'm crazy about you. He can be oh boy What shut the take his mic away? As I pulled away I well isn't it just Go poverty of spirit and not mean-spirited. Can he be jealous? I'd rather be mean-spirited than poverty.

Poverty is positive. Yeah, poverty doesn't sound, anyway, go ahead. I can be. Yeah, but all of us can be. Yeah. No! When we have a good shit-talking sesh,

I mean, it's all mean, it's as mean-spirited as it gets. We all jumped on it, too. Oh, yeah, we all did. Oh, as mean-spirited as it gets. We all jumped on it, too. Oh, yeah. We all did. Oh, let me finish. May I finish? Sorry. And I texted Gilbert right away. And I told him what happened.

And he goes, we just got to apologize. I didn't have his number, so I DM'd him. And I wrote a pretty long DM that was very heartfelt. The classic big fan. I've never written a celebrity before. First time caller. It was pretty heartfelt, you know, and I really, I do love this guy, I do love him. If I think about my history, I just love him.

And I just kind of expressed myself in that way, and then he texts his back, he DMs me back, and he goes, no problem, dude. Do you think that he means that? I don't know, but because I go, let's meet for coffee, he didn't really address that either, right? So I just thought, he just says, no problem, dude, I'm okay or whatever, right?

But then something happened I didn't tell you about. Uh-oh. A week later, his wife texts me, DMs me. I was hoping they'd be like, she's here. Hey! Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. And she goes.

I mean, man, man's, that man's wife. Yeah. And she goes, her DM was, I'm confused. She goes, she goes, I didn't see your hand. Oh. So you wrote that message for nothing. She goes, I didn't see your hand. Oh, so you wrote that message for nothing. It was dark, you shook her hand in a dark place. I'm glad I made the demands, but it's one of those cases. Oh, but your conscience is clear now.

Yeah, my conscience is clear, but it's one of those cases where I perceive things, that's my point of the story is I perceive things that aren't really happening. I mean, I, I, I, you know, to me it's like, Oh, it has to be this, even though I don't have enough evidence. Right. And I believe it, which is something that's like, I do that in every, in everything. Well, the thing that I've realized in the past few months is most of our inner monologue is just like science fiction.

Yes. It's not real at all. Fear, false evidence appearing real. Yes. And it's like, I'm just the king of that. I'll even say bold statements like, oh, Netflix hates me. Yeah. Which is not even true. There's so many people that work there.

What are you talking about? You know what I mean? But I'll believe it. Like the thing I've talked about in terms of like the talk shows, right? I'm like, yeah, that's not true because if I saw Seth or Jimmy on the street, they would hug me and we'd be like so friendly.

You know what I mean? Of course. Yeah, and it's like, they don't think about it. Why would they? You know what I mean? Why, because I was like eighth lead on splitting up together, they're gonna have me on the fucking show? No, I get what it is. Yeah, I get what it is. But it's this thing that I have to fucking,

you know what I mean, convince myself that there's, what, go ahead. Uh oh. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but. Here we go. This is a situation where I truly don't think you've made it up in your head. They have good reason to absolutely hate you.

I think they're not saying it, but I think that the wife hates you as she should. Do you have an acronym for this? I don't know what this is. I don't know what it is. Real evidence of bearing real. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Rear. Rear. This is rear.

Rear. Rear. This is rear, dude. So, what do you mean? I'm saying you now think that you've created this idea that you've either pissed him off or that the wife is upset with you. But given all of the shit that we've talked about him in the early Tiger Belly episodes, they have real reason to dislike you, and I do think that they don't like you.

They probably don't. They probably don't. Yeah, and his response of, all good, dude, is cool. It's probably just like- Politics. No, it's not politics. It's just like, I'm not trying to connect with him. I don't want anything from him. I don just like politics. No, it's not politics. It's just like he's I'm not trying to connect with him I don't want anything from him. I don't like him

I will say the things like the kind of I'm sorry to say they see or however you're gonna do this He seems like the kind of guy that Wouldn't have any awareness of people talking about him I think that's true and then if the wife did hate him, which she should, would she DM him? The reach out is interesting. I'm confused, I didn't see her hand. It's one thing, I think you're right up to that.

And if she didn't like me, and she still put that message out, there's something going on with her too. Well, that's what I'm saying. So. Oh my God, it gets deep. I think it is a chess game at this point. It's a chess game. We gotta win.

No, that's not. No, no, no, no, no. You won, you apologized. You beat that mission, you apologized. I gotta double that. I think Gilbert's correct. You felt better after you apologized. It's all good.

Please leave it at that. Yeah, yeah, okay. But I think that her response. Maybe we shouldn't even air this. Because may I remind you, this is not the first time she has messaged you. Okay, yeah, yeah, right. So two years ago, a year and a half ago,

she did message me going, I need to talk to you. And I go, what about? And she never responded after that. Rear. Rear? Yeah. It's rear. I wanted to ask you both just in general,

what are your thoughts on forgiveness? Cause I think we've, you know, I've lived a whole life thinking that is like such a value to forgive people and to offer forgiveness, even though it's like really difficult and they've done shitty things to you. But now my idea is that I don't need to forgive anyone and I can just like completely X that out of my mind

to move on. Mm. Interesting. Fuck, I wish Steve Harvey was here. By the way, like, I got this idea. Very interesting. I got this idea from Amber Rose, of all people. I have a long, like, answer to this, which is,

I've talked about ayahuasca and DMT and all that shit, which we'll talk about later, but. I do wanna talk about later. I do want to talk about it. I did MDMA, I've done MDMA every three months or so for the last year. And I did it last August and I had just instant forgiveness for a bunch of people, for my enemies list, right? And I thought the next day I was like,

why was able to do that so easily? And it was because I'd been most of them I had when I was on MDMA, I had serotonin dopamine and oxytocin just flowing through me. Right? Normally I just have adrenaline and cortisol. Those are my two main chemicals. I'm flooded with them all day. So you see the world through justice and recrimination and revenge, and I'm gonna show them and fuck them,

and they wrong me, and grids of hatred. And so I realized that that's what I think is a personality, or what I thought was personality, is just those chemicals in me all the time. What I was like- Deficient in the others. Yeah, so I was like, I'm gonna try to ignore that thing. Like it's like, I said, like I have a, it's like a restaurant where it's just serving me

like lead sandwiches from the kitchen and I'm serving like, I'm riding this good and it's fucking garbage. Yeah. So now I'm to the point and I'm serving like I'm riding this good. It's fucking garbage. Yeah. So now I'm to the point where I'm, I'm way less, you know, in my head about if I catch, I'll catch myself doing it and be like, don't do this. What I realized is we become repot. We become carriers for a negative feeling.

And so I'm bigger on forgiveness than I've ever been, but I do set boundaries. So I'll say, like I had a disagreement with a buddy of mine and he was like, can we solve this before one of us dies? And I was like, we don't, it's fine. We don't, there's no solution here. I asked you for what I needed. You said I cannot do it. There's no more discussion. Well, I think that's like a perfect example. Like you don't need to have a resolution there or a closure or forgiveness.

It's like, okay, this is just what it is and I can move on. But that is closure to me. Yeah. Like acknowledging that that's what it is. I can try to like magically think it into something better, but like that's what it is. And I'm not gonna, I can't, I wish it weren't that way, but that's what it is.

When you make amends in AA towards people, are you, do you do it trying to seek forgiveness, or is this just to say that you're sorry? That's an interesting question. No, your sponsor generally tells you. Not a nurse, go ahead. Yeah. Yeah, your sponsor generally tells you that like,

it's like in anything, you don't live in results of like if I if I do stand up and I dedicate my life to that We don't know what the results are gonna be. It's either you're gonna be famous or you can become a road comic You might even make not make it at all. Right? No, it's just you know, I mean you just do it right because we don't have Maybe maybe not we don't have clear evidence or whatever. With amends are the same thing, where you want the result of, yeah, thanks man, and I hug, and I forgive you or whatever.

Sometimes it goes the opposite way, but it's just you have to clean your side of the street. You know what I mean? Whatever their side is, it could be cluttered or whatnot, but I just, I have to, because it's baggage. And if they come back with, fuck you, you've done irreparable damage. Like the DM that I did to the guy, right?

It wasn't what I wanted, I mean, expected. What I would like is, yeah, let's meet Wednesday at noon, have coffee, and then maybe I can get him to do this podcast or whatever, right? Which is what I ultimately want. Example though, so let's say I'm him. You want podcast guests. That's the want behind.

No, I mean, it would be magical for me to have him on, you know what I mean? And just kind of like do it. But if the response I'm saying in regards to forgiveness is you make amends and I say, fuck you, you've done irreparable damage. You can only remedy this and I will only accept it if you do A, B, and C.

No. So you stop at the amends. Financial amends is you have to pay them back. Okay. Right, so it's like if I stole money from you. Do you need to puke real quick? That was a wild sound. It's just a trapped burp, that's all it is.

Yeah, it was a trapped burp. Can you not look at me that way? What are you doing? I'm half expecting you to puke on me. I've never puked in my life, so you'll be fine. Yeah, you'll be fine. Let me get a real point. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He's a diarrhea boy. I'm a diarrhea boy, like only diarrhea. But yeah, but you know, financial means you have to pay him back, but you know. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah. it's just don't live in the results of anything. Also, no work you do will be as good as this podcast. Uh oh, what do you mean?

I mean that like. What the fuck, do you have to do fighting work? No, no, what I mean. You like to fight fire with fire. Anyone with a popular podcast should just do that and fuck all asking people for permission to work with them. That's not true. I have a question about MDMA.

I love it. When you. No, no, no, do you want, let's, let this guy. Let me just, we'll go to, I swear to God. We will let MDMA, but let me. Rear. Right, but let me just address this part, is um you're right okay podcasting you know we fell into we say I feel like we won the lottery because we weren't

expecting you know an audience and it feels I'm so proud of our work you know you should I had that as someone who did like a great sketch show, I would argue that these, some of these podcasts are such great communications of talent. That's what I'm saying. Why are you asking to be the fifth lead? Because, you know, when I did that movie, Sweet Dreams, it's coming out, it's in theaters now,

and it's coming out on. Stole the show, go ahead. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Because that movie was about a recovery, and I got to do Theo's probably first movie, Vaughn, right? I never with Johnny Knoxville, and when I watched it on the big screen,

which is the first movie I ever watched with me in it, I was really proud of the movie, you know what I mean? And it's a different kind of expression. You know what I mean? Acting is a completely different expression. Storytelling is a, you know what I mean? So it's like, I wanna do it all, Neil, right? You're right.

This is probably in terms of, you know what I mean? The way I make a living, this is, yeah. But this, you know, I mean, it's, that movie, Sweet Dreams, is the best recovery movie I've ever seen in my life. Really? I've ever seen in my life. Great, okay, great.

I mean, there were scenes in that movie, Sweet Dreams, that J. Moore plays Johnny Knoxville's sponsor, all right? And they have little segments, like montage segment, of them talking. And in the theater, I looked at that and I went, I've never seen that. I've never, that's the realest sponsor sponsor. The AA meetings, when I shot the AA meetings, right,

we showed up, it was a men's meeting, and everyone, it was 50 guys, they're all in the program, people I know. He like, Lige invited everyone from his men's group to come and do this movie. And when I sat there, I turned to Johnny and I go, this is the most realistic AA movie, I mean AA scene, the way they got it, because usually when you see

12 step groups in a movie, they're in some sort of gymnasium, it's in a circle, right? And it's just so, I've never been to a gymnasium in 88. I don't know where they got that. But my point is that no, this, it was disheveled. The lines were very on point. So it's just like, in many ways, yes, there are some movies I've done where I'm like,

why did I do that? That was pointless. But there are sometimes you'll do something that you're kind of like proud of It's a different kind of I get I mean I I don't I'm not saying it's totally invalid. You'll never direct anything again I just I I'm I'd be shocked if I'm it I direct commercials. I know you do. I know you do but can I I want to say I think you should get on that pony again Is it the wrong response or animal get on the horse? I don't well not a pony horse What they don't really make comedy movies anymore?

I know but what I want to say is that movie would you did with Piven right was your first movie? Right and that Shyamalan's first movie. I don't even know what it was. It wasn't success, right? But um It was like some sort of romantic comedy or something. I'd rather do Stand Up. I understand that, but I believe though. M. Night Shyamalan's movie had Rosie O'Donnell in it. Was it, is it a comedy? Yeah, look at M. Night Shyamalan.

It's like a Christian, it's a Catholic movie, I remember. It's a Catholic movie, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because he's from Philadelphia, so my mother sends me articles about him. Praying with anger. Three days a week. Yeah, so it didn't do well. My point being is that I think that you

would be a great director. No, I... And go back on the horse. I know, but then it's... That's it. It's... Is that, that looks like a student film. Yeah, it doesn't look like, that's the movie.

I think that's it. Made up. Did you make that on... You AI'd that. Intelligent? Anyway. Thank you for saying that, I'd rather be a comedian. Okay, go back to MDM Empty empty time go. I just have a question about it. Yeah When you're flooded with serotonin dopamine all of these like happy chemicals forgiving chemicals in your body

And then that session is over. Is there, do you carry all of those feelings into you're now deficient in all of those again? Yes, it's amazing. Well, that's the, I did enough ayahuasca to have that all the time. And then I did five MEOMT, which was insane. I can't recommend it, but it was helpful long-term.

So now every time I do MDMA, it is Ayahuasca. But I carry it with me. My girlfriend, we did it two weeks ago, and she was saying I still feel the glow of it. Yeah, because that's my question, right? Because like a lot of times, let's suppose, like any other drug, like when you're on a high, you love everybody.

But then you get back to real life and you're no longer in that state. Like you're forgiving of everybody in that state because you've all that right all chemicals in your body. It's easier. But it's good to know that you can carry it over into your everyday after that. Yeah, I'm very lucky in that body. It's easier. But the, yeah. But it's good to know that you can carry it over into your everyday after that. Yeah, I'm very lucky in that regard.

Cause I don't, I think if you do it, I think people do it the wrong way. They do it to party and fuck. Yeah. Which you know, there's a time and place for that. Yeah. And party. You've always loved fuck. I love it.

He's big on fucking party. Fucking party is my thing. Yeah. My jam. And so I'm lucky, I get to like carry it with me and it's, I've gotten into like gratitude. It's real corny, my life. No, no, no.

I see a change. We see a change in you. That's, I believe that's why the- You're so much nicer. I'm also's why this. You're so much nicer. I'm also so much lighter. That you're also approachable. Yeah. There was a time where I was like, I'll go this way.

Yeah. I didn't know you before, but I've always really liked you and given you like, we've always had deep hugs. That's, that's post ayahuasca. Oh, okay. Yeah. Pre, no, no, he was fine. But remember I was, I was going to do it with you. I was going to tell anybody. Grrr. No, no, he was fine. But remember I was gonna do it with you.

I was gonna tell everybody. Yeah, I was gonna do it. No, you told me. Right, but. You told all of us. Many times, many times. So, but here's the thing. Now I'm gonna ask you a question, okay?

My therapist would rather me do this. There's a place in, I shouldn't even say the state. There's a place in I don't even say the state. There's a there's a place in Florida There's a place how about there's a place there we go, okay, there's a place All right, where they do it through a therapist like a licensed therapist So what this may do ayahuasca or you have DMA ayahuasca? So what you when you go through the process, you're in a facility, okay?

And they take notes and stuff, right? And then they process what you're going through afterwards. Right? So it's like, what do you think of that way? I feel like it's a commodified version of what ayahuasca really should be. I feel like MDMA, I've done ketamine like with a therapist and a doctor. You did it. version of what ayahuasca really should be. I feel like MDMA, I've done ketamine

like with a therapist and a doctor. You did it. Yeah, and MDMA same, like I would do it under those circumstances, but ayahuasca feels like a different thing. Like there's something ceremonial. It's like real God-y, and therapist wouldn't be bad,

but you don't wanna be talking the whole time. It has to be between you and the connection. It also just feels so like it should be a ceremony. It is so like ritualistic. And doing it with other people I think is important. A lot of people, Theo doesn't like doing it with other people, but like I kind of think. He leaves, I heard.

He doesn't leave during ceremony. The funniest one is him and Roy Wood did it together. I heard that, he just got up and left. He doesn't leave during ceremony. The funniest one is him and Roy Wood did it together. That's hilarious. Which again, I would have paid fucking money to see it. And at the end, in the circle, everyone was standing up, holding hands, praying, and Roy took a knee. Really?

Yeah. That's so funny. It's so funny. It's so funny, dude. It's so funny. That's so good. So yeah, I think you should do it with people. There is like a spiritual connection shared. There's also a thing where like several people

in the group will have a shared vision. That's not necessarily positive. Like I was at one where three or four different women in the circle pictured concentration camp with barbed wire. Ooh, that's a good one. Yeah, I thought you'd like that. Great vision. Really great.

Shared vision, guys. So I would argue that it should be more spiritual. Because there is something about AA meetings. It's like the the the Communal aspect right so I want to say that not that I'm committing to it or not. Okay, but hypothetically And I'm gonna ask you a favor. Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah hypothetically If you were able to go this is what when I'm going to do it next, and see what my schedule's like, can you do that or no?

Yeah. I thought of that today, actually. And then I'll consider maybe. Not to be a naysayer, but it's not. I don't like this setup. I don't like it either. It's so negative. Is it possible?

Because it's something that I have. Sounds like something a naysayer would say. Yeah, go ahead. I have witnessed a person in my life almost become a worse version of themselves each time they did I was fine is that it can that be true it's yes it's like they it's like they were if you have a like a big ego you've if you with narcissism. Yeah, I was thinking that. Like if you have a basis of already,

like you're a malignant narcissist, and I would think that maybe ayahuasca would give you sort of like a messiah complex even more. That's generally what happens. That's terrifying. I don't have narcissism. You don't, you don't. Thank you.

He has. have narcissistic. You don't. You don't. Thank you. Dude, your eyeballs are crazy. Yeah, anyway. Yeah. Okay. Damn. But TBD, I guess TBD, if you come out like a worse person, then we'll know if you were a narcissist to begin with. Alright, right, right. No, I don't think you're narcissistic, but I would think you would get, you are one, you have a very big fear mechanism. And I, not like I would worry, but I pictured on the way over here, I was imagining us doing it together, and you being like, I gotta get the fuck out of here,

and just fucking bolting, like Theo did it. No, no, no, no, no, no, I'm in it for the long haul. Yeah, I gotta get the fuck out of here and just fucking bolting. Like Theo did it. No, no, no, no, no, no. I know I'm in it for the long haul. Okay. Yeah, I will commit to it. And Theo didn't leave in the middle of a session. Okay, okay. I've heard different stories, but anyway.

But yeah, he I wouldn't do it with, but I would do it with you. Great. There's something comforting about you. Oh, so you know, I've been, you know, it's so funny. In the last year, and I have to say this, you and I have become, you have actually become somebody like a master to me.

For some reason- Has it helped, though? No. It's made life so bad, but no. Of course it's been great. With girls? We're talking about- In general.

Great. Life things. Career things, even, you know? And you've been very helpful to me, you know, you've become, you know, the bridge. Your face. What's my face? To what?

What? Terabitia. What? Nothing. No, you're the bridge, I think you're the bridge to common sense for me. Ooh, great. Yeah, you're the bridge to like, okay're the bridge to common sense for me. Oh, great. Yeah, you're the bridge to like, okay, let's try to get some a seep. Let's get injected with a

little bit of reality here and a, you know, an objective opinion. More rational. Rational opinion. Yeah. On things. Yeah, yeah. And so yeah, with ladies too, you're great. You're gonna have to go. I mean, you're like the Messiah of that. Yeah, I think you were the reason why we changed all of your Raya pictures, right? Because Neal's were really great.

I never changed it. You never did? No. You still had pictures with other celebrities in it? Sarah Jessica Parker, yes. Yeah. Did you? You had a picture with Sarah Jessica Parker on your riot?

Yeah. Yeah, I'll show you. Still Bobby? I'll show you. You used to have Logan Paul. Oh yeah, I had Logan Paul. It's better now that it's just Sarah Jessica Parker. I think before that he had one with CEO and I was like, you have to take that out. Yeah. Look at Neil's face. I mean it looks so photoshopped yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I mean it looks like you're together we were together but I'm saying in actual life I mean you look

like a couple that's great you look this is what I wanted I just hang with when I'm in New York I just hang with SJP. Because women love that movie. I'm sure I mean. So it's like, you know, they go, oh, he's friends with, I felt like it's like a- Did you feel like it was gonna be weird if they were like, can we call SJP?

And you'd be like, I don't have her number. I do have her number. Fuck. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Would you call her? No, never. I have so many numbers I would never call. Do you have that or no?

I have like a bunch of numbers that I would never call, but they're on my phone. Whose numbers do you have? Well, I mean, I have Billy Ray Cyrus' number, I've never used it. And it's a real number of his because then I cross-checked it with somebody else. Oh wow.

Yeah, yeah. Who'd you cross-check it with? A girl I was dating because she was his assistant or something. Great. And I go, is this his number? And she goes, yeah, that's actually his number. I go, oh, yeah, I got it then.

Where did you get it? That's the mystery of it. I literally never met him before in my life. Whoa. How'd you get it? I don't know. I have numbers on my phone where I have no idea why. Text him and ask him.

No, no, no, no. This is like the hangover, but you wake up with Billy siren Billy In your cell phone, yeah, I have a lot of those and then I have like Like celebrity. It'll just say celebrity number one or something. I don't even know who that is You know, it could be Tom Cruise. I have no idea But it's I have some I will you have numbers in your phone that you'll never to use or no I I'm trying to think if I if I do Because I know a couple of guys that have Brad Pitt's phone that you'll never use or no? I'm trying to think if I do. Because I know a couple of guys

that have Brad Pitt's number, but they never use it. But they have, they'll show me, look who's number, you know what I mean? I got lucky, it looks like trading cards, like Pokemon cards. I have someone's number, but I'll never use it. Can you just believe it and, ooh. You won't believe it.

Gotta use it. I know why. Stop it. Stop it. Don't even give any tips on why. Guess why. They just don't guess. Yeah, let's guess. Why? Raya. No.

Why do you, why, because he wants to fuck her. No, no, it wasn't even that. Don't go say fuck so fucking. I don't think it's even romantic or sexual. It was not romantic or sexual. Well how do you know his number? Well we're not gonna say. You can say it now, we'll cut it out.

No, no, it's fine. Are you sure this is his real number? I will never know. Okay, give it to Bobby. Do you wanna text him? I'm not, I've never done that. No, I'm never doing it. Just text him.

That's interesting. You should text him. Is this awkward? I also have, I have Jamie Lee Curtis' number. Never use it. You did a movie with her, right? Yeah. Just a bunch of people, you know?

Yeah. But anyway, it's interesting. I have, yeah. What do you mean? I don't, I have, people, I have people think I name drop, so I'm gonna just leave, I'm gonna stay out of it. Can we talk about that for a second? Name dropping is a funny, interesting thing.

How do you talk about people then? I'm sorry, but you and I, because of the nature of what we do for a living, you will have certain people that are big stars. So it's like if I was working at Pep Boys, and I worked with a guy named Raul, for instance. You know what I mean? Hypothetically.

Hypothetically, right. I'm sure there is a guy somewhere in Pep Boys, a guy named Raul. My point is this. And I'm talking to other people, right, and I go, yeah, Raul has that. And it's like a normal thing, because I work with Raul, right?

And my point is, why can't we do that in the business that we're in? And why is it in Colton- You know what I realized, and it used to make me fucking furious, and then I stopped being furious about it, is because they don't think we deserve to have that person's number.

Oh my god, so deep what you said. You're right. They don't think we deserve it. They're like, why do you have that person? Like, so then they go, your name drive me. It's like, no, I'm peers with that person, but they don't like that. You're right. They don't like that your peers with Cate Blanchett. Right. They don't like that your peers. It's usually in these circumstances, if I may touch you. I wish you would.

It's people that are just, it's people that knew you before maybe the transition. OK? Transition. The transition into a different light. Before I had top surgery. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So for instance, like, you know,

somebody that you weighted tables with that you still talk to, right, that saw you pre-caterpillar, right, before the moth, right? And it's like, because moths hang out with other moths, let's be honest, they don't hang out with caterpillars. Moths be mothin'. Yeah, I mean, have you ever seen a caterpillar hang out with a moth?

Never. You've seen moths fly together, though. Science, babe. So one of my pointers is that when I was a caterpillar, I had a whole caterpillar life. Yep. All right. We're moths now, y'all.

Yeah, we're moths now. I have a really sad confession. Do you know how I got his number? Oh my god. Oh, what? Oh, God, you've been. Oh, what? We did all that because. Again, this is, you just have to let them,

let me give you some mentorship. Treat women like cats. Let them come and go. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Just let them do their thing and they'll come and they'll finish their the story whenever they on their time I would love to say he wanted to fuck me I would love to say we got it we exchanged numbers mutually But a friend of mine happened to find the cell phone of the girl he was dating

And he was like while he was trying to figure out the owner of the cell phone, he saw pictures and then looked for the phone number and he was like, oh my God. And he was like, Kailila, what do I do with this? I was like, call her, give her phone back. And he was like, but do you want so and so's phone number? You know what, just to have it, yes. Just to save it, yes.

Just to save it on my phone. It's illegal the way you required it. Definitely not putting this on it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's illegal. We can't just say his name. Delilah, you're going to jail. Yeah. Meow, meow. Meow, meow.

Meow, meow, meow. This kitty is going to jail. Wow. Is that weird to say that we're moths or no? No. No, moths. When would that we're moths or no? No. No, moths. When would you become a moth? That's what I wanna, somebody said to me,

I'm like, I fucking, I wanna do it. But I wanted to just be like, who are you talking to? What could I have done that would qualify me to say that I know somebody? Also, Filipinos never kill moths we think of moths. We don't need a real you know. I'm just saying we like moths. Why is she in shit business? I don't know what's going on. You should be in a nurse estate. An analogy. In Long Beach where you found you. Shout out Long Beach. Love can miss you. Long Beach. So Neil, check out his special on Netflix. You know, I think every year you should come back on here.

I would love to. Yeah, as long as we do it. And I just think that we're friends and I love you. I love you too, bud. Give him a round of applause. Neil Brennan. Neil Brennan, crazy good. Take it on Netflix. Let's go.