TigerBelly - Ronny Chieng & Bobby's 90s POS Origin Story
Episode Date: April 19, 2023Bobby plays the heel. Ronny thinks Koreans have too much fun. We talk fighting Mr. Rogers, a John Cho text-off, and the Tai Chi attack. www.tigerbellylive.com ...
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Why are you looking at him like that?
No, he's trying, he's already trying to-
He's doing the Jedi.
Yeah, he's Asian.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, he's trying to psych me out, plus he's already trying to figure out how to-
I'm not doing anything!
I'm not doing anything!
He's trying to figure out how to-
You are showing off your leg like that.
I've never seen this move.
Yeah, this is a- this is a- trying to show some dominance.
But I know- I know Kung Fu, so I can like-
You don't know Kung Fu?
I know tons of Kung Fu, man.
I do.
I know two different styles.
Alright.
Don't even talk.
Okay, let's just start this fucking thing, because I need to leave as soon as possible.
Wait, what's your- you have a hot-out?
I have a hot-out, yeah.
What's your hot-out?
As soon as possible.
I want to get the fuck out of here as soon as possible.
Dude, I want to get out of here.
I know, we'll go!
We'll go!
I feel very comfortable.
Yeah, I know, that's how you do it in LA.
I know- okay, fucking let's just do this shit.
I know in LA you guys don't believe in editing.
No, no, no, no, we edit.
We'll take care of it.
We edit.
We edit.
We edit.
Yeah, you guys can do the podcast.
No, no, no, we don't do that.
We're inventing three-hour podcasts, everybody.
It's exactly what the world needed.
Yeah, we don't do that.
We edit, dude.
Because there's so much goddamned traffic in the city that you guys need three-hour podcasts-
That's a good wordt.
What did I say before he got here?
You said he-
This is what he's going to do.
He said grievances.
He has grievances.
The wrong-keeping.
And he has issues and he complains a lot and I love it.
I said that before you even came here.
Oh, you tried to M&M me.
You tried to M&M me.
See all the shit I'm gonna I'm gonna do no, no, no, no, I didn't do that. You try a maomi you try
You're gonna do this. Who's a mile? Who's a movie a movie a no M&M slim Shady? Oh, I love it
I know ranching one of his music video. Yeah. Wow. You're a legend
Don't be like that. You're an American legend. No, I have a lot of stuff. Stop stop stop stop stop. Stop. All right
Nobody even started
We haven't started no one's even pressing record. So let's just go let's go. Let's just go because I know we what I need to
Wanna we're good. You don't have to get out. You just as long as we go. No, I need to leave
You'll leave when you there's very combative energy. I need to get out of here. It's not my god. Oh my god. Oh my god
Anyway, go ahead. Oh
Welcome to another podcast Tiger Valley. Oh my god, I was so looking forward to this. Yeah, and then something welcoming me
You make my throat sore. I
Make your throat. You literally fucking hurting my ears right now
You make every time I run into you my throat gets sore
In New York that one time
Okay, well, maybe God boost immunity. Maybe I knew it is really bad. Yeah, maybe you leaving the house is bad for you
So anyway, why you have this little man cave here. So you don't believe your house
Okay, what are you talking about this thing? This right here. It's my garage. You don't have a garage. No, we don't people don't have garages
I'm in New York. No in New York. All right, stop. Stop. I'm gonna let me introduce you
Okay, and then we can start start what an honor to be with
Adobe what a comedy legend you are. Oh, I I've been watching myself as a kid
I hate what you're doing right now. I've been watching your mad TV sketches. Well, that's everything about you is legendary
You're so famous everywhere. And then I meet you and then this is what happened
I've never met your heroes never meet your heroes. All right. So anyway, um
So anyway, I um
Yeah, I learned about this guy about three years ago
You know I mean and I met him briefly in an elevator at Montreal. I don't if you remember you're wearing a suit
When was this what yours is three years ago only? Oh, I've been that was the first time
I know you've been around for a while. I know I'm saying you've been around for a while
So I feel like I know you because I've been watching you for so much
But you know actually it's only been but I physically met you okay three years ago
Okay in an elevator at a hotel in Montreal. Yes, you are very you are sweet. Yes, you are very nice
Very sweet. Although I have to say right when we when we exchanged
Information, right you gave me your email
Yeah, but that and only recently did I get your fucking phone number and let me say this right?
I know I don't know stop. I know that other comedians have your fucking phone number and you gave me
First of all, it was an honor to meet you first was on an elevator, right?
I couldn't believe I was seeing you and you're so nice to me and I later learned that you being nice is actually not the norm for you
So I I'm actually exactly. Yeah, so you were super nice to me
Which I and also I was super respectful for to you, right? Was I not respectful to you in the elevator?
I would I couldn't believe I was meeting you. I was oh my god, Bobby
You're a legend. Oh, you don't remember. Okay. Okay
Okay, the second of all email is how I do business. So when I give people my email
You know, it's business. Yeah, but we're not doing business. What what kind of business that you and I why did I give you my email?
By the way, I don't know
Anyway, but you know email is how you message me anyway, I understand that yeah, but when somebody else had your number
This is a cultural thing. You're very American
Okay, so you take email as an insult where I come from. Okay. Okay, when you I read the email is business
Okay, email is what you give to people you respect and people you want to communicate with not personal
Yeah, it's not personal. I want to be personal with you. Yeah. Oh, oh, yeah, phone number. Oh, yeah
Yeah, so now I have it. Yeah. All right. So that's the beginning. Okay. Say on text. What would you say on text?
What would you have said if you had happy birthday?
Okay, you would have googled. Yeah, great job on that. What Megan this great job. Great job on Megan
This guy doesn't understand that
Nowadays you use email to text because that's the frickin. Yeah, it's Apple. I'm old. Yeah. Yeah. So why is that my problem?
You're too old to understand technology and then now you're accusing me of personal
Okay, you know what I apologize. Thank you. All right. Thank you. I have your number not I apologize
Yeah, okay. Thank you. Thank you for trying to reach out. I'm just going to the history. Let's replay that apology
Yes, you ever apologize anyone ever? Rarely, right? Thank you. Secondly, I have other issues with you, right?
So many gripes. Yeah, I've said I have another
podcast ready
Second issue my ears are my second. Please you do Neil Brennan's podcast before mine
That's insane this guy. I also want to say this. Okay, listen to me. All right. Oh, yeah
I look up to you. You're you know me. I grew up watching you. I have respect for you. Okay?
I love all that stuff that gets me hard. Okay, but let me say something and all these people are like
Oh, we're gonna do Neil Brennan's we do we're better. We do better numbers. Wow better numbers or no, I think so first of all
I don't podcast period. I don't know podcast for numbers. I don't give a fuck about podcast
Okay, I didn't come to America to get on podcast. I could do podcast back home. You know, I came here to do podcast
Oh, you came here. Okay, so I don't like to do podcast. So I don't do a set for okay second of all
Second one is number one. Fuck podcast
Fuck podcast. Yeah, okay. I came here to be in movies. I make money. I didn't come
I didn't come here to help you make money on your free podcast. All right, I'm not gonna pay for this
Okay, second of all, all right when you asked me to do a podcast. I live in New York City
I don't live in LA. Everyone LA for some reason thinks everybody lives in LA. Everyone's always like hey come and do my
Pocket, I don't live in your city man. How much was it do your podcast?
I'm calm down. You have to calm down rebuttal Bobby rebuttal my rebuttal is he what he's saying is ridiculousness. This is okay
I'll tell you why. All right. Number one. Yes, it's free, but right. It's gonna help you
Okay, because
Believe it or not, right?
The people that listen to this podcast are my fans, right? Why are you covering your eye?
Because what why are you covering your eye? Why are you trying to make it sound like you're doing me a favor right now?
I am doing your favor. We're doing each other a favor. How what good? I'm gonna tell you how this works
Okay, Ronnie. All right about eight years ago when this new podcast phenomenon started, right?
The reason why you knew eight years ago so new
Well cutting edge
Don't say a well on the cutting edge of media right now
I just speak into microphones and oh my god. Okay. Oh my god. This is like our NFT Bitcoin
Podcast all right. So anyway, what happened was the East Coast and the West Coast at Lake comedy scene, New York comedy scene
What we did was we did each other's podcast. We all grew together. All right, so in my mind. We're a family
Okay, you know what family means
I know I know family. Yeah, exactly, right? It's where the heart is
Home is where the heart is. Okay. Am I not right? Are you talking? What's he talking?
I would I'm talking about this is this so what we're doing right now is
Brothers and sisters and family members getting together and helping each other by you doing my podcast. You're helping me out
Okay, I need your help. Oh, you do me a fucking favor. Yeah, this is that's why you're here
Okay, no, no problem. By the way, I love to be here. You asked me if I'm like, oh my god Bobby Lee asked me
He's podcast. Yeah. Yeah, huge a bunch of time. I asked you. Yeah, I again
Here we go. So last thing I want to say is this okay. Thank you so much. Thanks to me you
Gilbert George. All right. I grew up in Southeast Asia, too. Oh, where'd you go? I grew up in the Philippines. Oh, yeah, cool
I grew up in Austria or wherever he's from. Oh, where is it? Australia?
Americans literally do not understand Southeast Asia. So don't even worry about what Bobby is saying right now
Southeast Asians we get it. Okay. Oh
I'm gonna you don't think I seem you don't see the pop-ups now. Why are you a Asian? Why are you a self-hating?
I love them. I love the jungle. I do have a question. I love Korean fruit. Do you always shit on Southeast Asians though?
Yeah. Oh, here we go. This guy. I thought you were Chinese. He thinks Koreans are the best
I think I think Koreans are a lot of fun
No, I think we're funded like hang out with yeah, they're cool. I think they understand live performing
I think they make great audiences. They're great performers. They know how to have fun
I love it. I got nothing but good things about careers
The only thing I mean you could argue that maybe they have too much fun. You know, I mean
I got to take it down with the fun, but that's not a you know, that's the worst thing you can say about Korean
I mean, I'll take that. Well, what the fuck this guy said about Southeast Asians
He says we're basically I'll tell you this he calls Filipinos. What do you call it like my mud people?
Why would I say this? Why would I am I on this podcast? Why would I my associate? That's a fucking insane?
Never one. All right. I said the skin is similar to mud
All right, but I never called you my people. All right, that's insane. This right number. That's number one, right?
Why we keep counting things down?
Because I'm old I have to fucking you know, I mean, yeah, what else should I even bother educating this guy?
Yeah, educate me. That's why I'm here. I want to be open. Do you even give a fuck?
Educate me. How did the coconut come? Is that what you're saying? Is that what you were saying?
Yeah, I don't know what is why you're self-hating Asian. I love you think I'm self-hating. Yeah, why are you self-hating?
I love my people. You have your area. Oh, yeah. Why do you talk shit about selfies?
I'm not talking shit about it. No, you talk. How many Asian friends do you have?
Thousands. Name one. Name 10. Name one. John Cho. Name one. John Cho is your friend. John Cho is my friend.
I'm gonna message him right now. Yeah, message him. Message him. We're talking about Haru and Kuma, John Cho.
Yeah, I was in Herald. How about you both, how about you both text and who responds to John first?
Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. You wanna play a game? You wanna play a game? All right. Yeah, yeah. I only know him on Instagram.
Oh my god. All right. So, John Cho, Steven Yoon. How about one non-Korean Asian? Oh, shit. Oh, you wanna go there?
Name one. Aquafina. She's half Korean. All right, but she's still my fool.
Oh, Oli Wong. Oli? Oli Wong. Oli Wong is your friend. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My Muslim friend, Oli.
Oli Wong. Yeah, Oli Wong. Steve Byrne. He's half Ken Jeong. I mean, I can rattle it off. Yeah, you're riling off Koreans.
You keep saying a lot of Koreans. Michelle Yau. Congratulations on the Oscar. Your friends with Michelle Yau. I did a movie with her.
Didn't she hate you? She does. She hates you. I don't think she hates me. She's just probably, I'm not in her orbit.
And also Jamie Lee Curtis. Congratulations. She's not Asian. I know, but I did a movie with both of them.
Okay, man. It sounds like you're really biased, man. You're either like Koreans or famous people.
What about normal Asians? Oh, yeah, because if I named them, you won't know them.
Name one. Frank. Frank what? Olo. That's Latino.
Frank the door guy at the comedy show? Yeah, I don't know his last name. Castillo. Castillo. He's not an Asian.
Because you put me in a corner. You couldn't make up an Asian name. You said Castillo? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You threw me in a corner. Listen, I know a lot of Asians, man. You know, and I love young Asians, man.
You know, dad fan.
Did you Dragon kick him in the chest? No, he kicked me in the face.
Oh, okay. Well, you're not friends. You're not friends. He kicked you in the face when we were younger.
That doesn't sound like friends. I know, but it's, you know, we know each other.
We're Southeast Asian and you guys are Asian. It doesn't sound good so far.
Wow, he's been super, you know, Bob, every time I've met up with Bob, you're spoken to him. He's always been super nice to me.
And I hear these stories about him having fighting, literally having Kung Fu fights with everybody.
I'm like, what happened, man? Like, yeah, someone tried to kick you in the face. I've been beat up a lot, but my point is this.
By like half the people on that poster, I think. But I've, but here's the thing, dude, I'm a survivor.
You know what I mean? And I also don't like, um, I don't take shit. Okay. And I'm, you know, I'm confrontational.
Really? But I fight for my, I fight for my stage time. Yeah, that's not the. Do you fight for stage time?
Do I fight for stage time? Yeah. Back in the day. No, when you're younger. When you're good, people give it to you.
I know. When you were first starting out. Yeah.
When you got, you got stage time right away. When you're good, people give it to you. Okay. Oh, you don't have to fight people in the.
All right. You just made me mad. Ron. Let me tell you something. Let me tell you this. Okay. Let me tell you this, right?
Of course I fought for stage time. I didn't kick someone in the face for stage time. I don't know what you're talking about.
I know, but can I say that? I grew up in comedy. That was a completely different of ours. Here we go.
Here we go. In the 90s, it was so much fucking harder. The villain origin story. This is why I'm a piece of shit.
In the 90s, it was so much harder for me to be hot.
You know, I understand why it's like to be a man TV and be nationally famous and super talented.
Ronny, the only way this is going to work, right, is we have to do a tit for tat. Let me get what I need to get out.
So in the 90s, there was only a couple of us and it was much harder to get stage time when you were a minority.
I feel like now it's much easier. Not that I'm saying it was hard for you, but it was a completely different environment.
So back in the day, I had to really fucking scrap to get my time.
But what does that mean?
What I'm saying to you is that that's why I have all these issues with these fucking people.
But why did this beef come out? How does this come about specifically?
Obviously, we all scrap for stage time, but I never fought another comic to be like,
fuck you, why did you get stage time? The scrapping was like a metaphor.
The scrapping for stage time was like, I need to try to...
Because back in the day, if you had two Asian comics in San Diego, where I started,
you're already like, it's hard enough being one Asian guy.
I know they pin us against each other.
The Mexicans fought each other.
Like George and Carlos Mancia didn't get along.
So they get pitted up against it, but it's a white people's fault.
Because they weren't inclusive.
So they made us fucking...
So you don't take responsibility for your own behavior?
I don't. I refuse.
I refuse.
That's very lightened.
Let's go back. So here we go. Let's start from the beginning.
Oh my God.
What I'm going to say to you is this, alright?
I love you so much. Thanks for doing this.
Do we intro him properly?
But the last thing I want to say about him, and this is all I'm going to say about...
What?
Do we intro him properly?
No, let him finish his thought.
Alright, let's go. Ladies and gentlemen.
Ladies and gentlemen. Ladies and gentlemen.
He was at the Daily Show.
Yeah, where are you going?
He was in a movie called Shang-Chi.
I auditioned for it, and I was second.
I would have given it to you.
They gave it to you?
I would have given it to you.
I would have given it to you, and you got it.
I helped you with that audition.
Do you remember?
It's Sarah Finn, yeah.
In here?
Yeah.
Exactly.
Number two, he's in a new movie called Megan.
Number two.
He's on a TV show now.
That he's working, that's why he's in LA, right?
Yes, I mean...
Very funny stand-up.
Thank you.
Nice guy.
What a...
Ronnie Chang.
Wow, thank you.
Thank you for having me.
Thank you for having me, Bobby.
I've been watching since I was a kid.
It's a real honor to get to know you as a friend personally.
You've always been very supportive and encouraging to me, and I really appreciate it.
So it's nice to finally be on your podcast.
It's an honor to be on this widely listened podcast that you do.
Thank you.
Can you guys both look at each other?
I will the second.
Yeah, I don't know.
This might be you.
I just need a second.
I need a second.
Can I get a second?
Can I get a second?
Yeah.
Can I get a second?
Yeah.
Because my neck hurts, my throat hurts.
What do you call it?
Throat polio, right?
I have throat polio.
Yeah.
From Ronnie Chang.
Throat polio.
The last thing I wanted to say is the last time I saw you, you know, a lot of grievances
about LA versus New York, and I have to ask you a question.
Please.
In New York, can you buy a house like this?
No, in New York, you cannot.
You cannot buy a house like this unless you're all very successful.
No, exactly.
And what I'm saying to you is that one point LA, zero points New York.
Okay.
So what about the traffic, the lack of traffic in New York, the fact that there's no traffic
in New York.
You can't even get a car.
You can get anywhere in 20 minutes in New York.
Right.
You have to take the fucking subway.
Yeah.
And you know what?
Subway.
Yeah.
I've seen the movie The Warriors.
Oh, really?
All right.
All right.
And I don't want a guy to come make up to beat me up with a bat.
I've seen the movie.
What was it?
Like Escape LA.
Yeah.
That's a post apocalyptic.
They're both post apocalyptic.
In a weird way.
Right.
That was not fair.
We go through the food list.
Just the food list alone.
Korean food.
Better.
New York or LA?
LA.
100%.
Probably LA.
Thai food.
Probably LA.
Probably LA.
Indian food.
But not Chinese food.
Indian food.
New York, I think.
Indian food.
New York, yes.
I don't know enough.
But Indian food in New York is pretty good.
I had Chinese food in New York all day.
All day.
All day.
All right.
Really?
You had Chinese food?
Wow.
What made you do that?
I thought you only do Korean stuff.
What do you mean?
I never said that.
Yeah.
I never said that.
I thought it was a nice thing about Chinese person.
Say one nice thing.
Say one nice thing about Chinese.
There's a lot of them.
Yeah.
You have a lot.
Oh, that's a great one.
There's a lot.
Quantity.
Quantity.
Quantity versus quality.
That's cool.
All right.
Why?
What's up with that?
Your divers?
What's up with that?
Your divers?
Chinese divers are great.
Chinese divers.
Olympic divers.
Olympic divers.
Come on.
They're like fucking robots.
Cool.
That 12-year-old girl, whatever that girl was in.
Right.
Anyway, killing it.
So what else?
Chinese.
Better martial arts.
Martial arts.
Yeah, yeah.
Hapkido versus every...
Yeah, okay.
But your martial arts stars are like legendary.
Jet League, Jackie Chan, etc., etc.
Bruce Lee, etc., etc.
Korean entertainment right now is really going through a boom.
That's all I wanted.
It's a little fucking compliment.
What the fuck?
I've given you nothing but talk.
You're a legend.
You're a legend.
Nothing but your compliments.
Koreans have better zombie movies.
We have better zombie movies.
Better zombie movies.
Right, right.
So LA versus New York.
Oh.
Yeah.
Also, you get more stage timing.
Yes.
More stage timing.
That's a big win.
Yes.
I saw you in New York.
I was at the cellar one night.
We were back-to-back.
And Bobby went on, and I've never seen Bobby in New York perform.
So I went down.
I risked death in New York City, walking, leaving my house, risking death to go see Bobby perform.
I just came down to the cellar.
No, you were on the list.
Oh, yeah.
I was also-
You were on before me.
What are you talking about?
Why do you lie?
It was headlighting.
You fucking lie.
No, I forgot.
Because a week before, I go, what's the list?
And they showed me Ronnie Chen was right before me.
I genuinely forgot.
I genuinely forgot.
That doesn't change the fact I risked my life to do it.
No, you didn't.
You were already there.
I risked my life.
I risked my life to do a spot.
You were there every weekend?
I look at the light.
I know.
I risked my life every weekend.
Okay, okay, okay.
Every weekend, I go, and I watched Bobby, and he fucking destroyed it.
You did, too.
We both killed it.
You killed it so hard.
I was like, oh, my God.
This is- I've only- I've only- there's only one or two people who I've ever been like,
man, I can't follow it.
Well, not that I can't follow, but I actually feel nervous to follow.
You can follow anyone.
What the fuck are you talking about?
I've only been one or two people where- not that I'm that good.
I'm just saying that.
You're amazing.
What are you talking about?
I'm just like- just in terms of confidence levels.
There's only been one or two people where I'm like, oh, damn.
This would be tough to follow.
I had to follow it.
Okay.
But I had to follow you.
And that was hard as well.
No, you fucking destroyed it.
It was amazing.
I was watching you.
I was like, oh, yeah, this is why he has this garage in LA because he's able to kill it
so hard.
But then I'm also like, why doesn't he- why take it so long to perform in New York?
You know?
Because I'm never there.
Yeah, why?
Like, you have problems with LA.
Yeah.
Right?
You have problems.
I need a reason to be in New York.
Okay.
And so when I'm shooting there, I go.
Right.
But I'm not going to take a vacation or go there for stage time.
More stage time in New York.
You have to admit.
More stage time.
Way more stage time.
It's almost too much for me.
You know what I mean?
I mean, four-
Too much.
Well, yeah.
Too much money as well.
What?
You make way more money in LA.
Well, no, no.
I'm just saying-
Did you stand up?
What do you mean too much?
Like, too much stage time?
Too much stage time.
You're at the fucking spot.
Oh, shit.
I got to be here in 10 minutes.
Yeah.
So you're running?
It's called hustling, grinding and getting better at your craft.
So you have a problem with getting better at, you know,
Mastering your craft.
Mastering your craft.
So let me ask you something.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Are we very similar in many ways?
Oh, yeah.
It's pretty great.
From the same cut, from the same cloth.
You want him?
That's what I said before.
Same kind.
Yeah.
We're the same kind of guys.
I think I'm way nicer than he is.
No, no, no.
No, no, no.
Reputate my reputation.
Roll back the tape.
Yeah, roll back the tape.
Roll back the tape.
Roll back 30 years and keep kicking the face.
Yeah.
That fam who, by all accounts, seems to be the nicest guy on the planet as well.
He is one of the nicest guys on the planet.
Yeah, and you try to kick him in the face.
I miss the Rogers trying to attack you.
How much of a dick are you?
That's so true.
That big bird tried to kill you.
You're right.
Yeah.
But I'm pretty sure they tried to kill Groucho.
What's his name?
Oscar the Groucho.
Oscar the Groucho.
Groucho?
Groucho?
Groucho Marx?
Groucho Marx is different.
Oscar the mouse.
Oscar the mouse.
No, he said Oscar the mouse.
Wait, did you know Oscar the mouse?
How are you born and raised in America and don't know?
I don't know much.
I don't know much about anything.
Did you go calling?
No.
Oh, okay.
I'm just a guy.
Naturally talented.
Naturally talented.
I don't even know that.
Stubborn.
Just very naturally talented and stubborn.
Didn't want like just wanted to go perform, right?
Like you knew you're going to perform.
I don't care where this leads me.
It was by accident.
It was all by...
You accidentally became this person.
No, I was just walking down the street in La Jolla.
I was working at a coffee shop.
And you fell off a ladder.
No.
And I was walking by the comedy store in La Jolla.
And then you're like, I can do this.
No.
In 1995.
1995.
And the coffee shop that I was working at closed that day.
And I was like, oh my, I need a job.
I was walking.
It was right next to the coffee shop.
I mean, the comedy store was next to the coffee shop.
And they had a help wanted sign.
And I knocked on the door.
I go, hey, do you need help?
And they're like, we need a bar back.
So I got a job as a bar back.
Has he ever told this story before?
Yeah.
He has?
Okay.
So that's 95.
And then flash forward one year later where you're literally fighting that fam for stage.
It started off so innocently.
And then when you're literally like, fuck these Asians in San Diego.
Why can't you all win?
That's my problem.
Why can't you all?
Why did you have to fight them?
You let the white people turn you against your own race.
You let the white people turn you against your own people.
You let the white people turn you against your own people.
You got to take some personal responsibility.
I take responsibility for that.
Okay.
Right.
I let them control.
You let them control you.
Right.
But can I say this though too, right?
Back then.
I think that is the polar opposite of in terms of Asian than I am.
We keep saying that, but I'm using him as a placeholder abstract.
I don't mean him personally.
I just mean in general.
I don't want to make this as though this is that fam versus you.
Right.
What I'm saying though is that I feel like there are two types of people.
Yes.
And for me, I'm a fighter, right?
And I don't like when I'm a bucket trapped in a corner, right?
I fight my way out, right?
He's more passive.
Okay.
Okay.
When you put two of these kind of guys together, it's not a good mix.
Okay.
But then how does that explain every other beef you've had with other Asians?
Because they are the type, that fan type.
Passive, generally nice.
Dr. Ken physically assaulted me.
Is that crazy?
Is that crazy?
The nicest guy on the planet.
But he physically assaulted me.
And we're friends.
And we're friends.
Ken Jeong is the nicest guy on the planet.
Probably.
Yeah.
Me too though.
I don't know what you guys are doing.
So what I'm saying is that I've had, you know what I mean, with passive guys.
Do you know what I mean?
Some sort of, there's been conflict.
I wouldn't say passive necessarily.
Okay.
Passive is the wrong term.
Tell me.
I think you are just like the, like, especially at that time, like they were the good Asian.
You were like the dirty scoundrel Asian.
Exactly.
So you're playing a heel.
Oh my God.
You're playing a heel.
You're the undertaker.
What does heel mean?
No, that's a WW.
How do you not know all this shit?
How do you not know this American?
Explain me heel.
Okay.
Heel in wrestling is the bad guy.
So in other words, you're playing the role like you feel that role of like, you know
what, I'm going to be the villain here.
And then you start adopting that persona.
Like, you know, like it's not even you, you, you're playing the role of that.
Exactly.
I feel like I'm forced into that role and I'll go out play it to survive.
And do you feel like that's a younger thing that you did.
And then now that you're older, you'll, you have more perspective and you're more encouraging
to younger comics.
And then when you are starting out, you are like, fuck this.
Listen, Ally Wong in her book, she has a little thing in there about how I was.
And she moved to LA.
What did she say?
She basically said that he was like, he didn't, he was like an older guy.
He, when I moved to LA, he took me to restaurants and showed me the ropes.
And I was very kind to her, right?
That's a nice story.
Yeah.
But also I want to say this is when I see younger talent that I feel is good, I go out
of my way and I'm very nice.
Because with Ken and I, the problem had nothing to do with comedy.
It had to do with where we were at in that place in our lives.
I was in the downswing of my career and he was in the upswing and my anger and my resentment
and my jealousy got in the way.
What?
No, please continue.
I don't want to interrupt this.
What was this then?
No, no, I'm like, this is a breakthrough right here.
This is, this is dude is I never, have you, have you ever discussed it?
Yes, I have.
Oh, okay.
In the past, I'm sure I have.
Okay.
What I'm saying is that he was on the upswing, right?
He was killing, starting to killing, kill it.
Okay.
And I was on my down and I was bitter and angry.
Wow.
And I probably behaved in certain ways that I'm not that proud of.
Wow.
What?
What?
What?
And there's some context to this.
It's a lot of it's stuff also from the MySpace top eight.
What?
That is the dumbest shit.
So what happened was, what happened was right?
He bumped you down.
I was in his top 10.
MySpace.
Top eight.
Top eight.
MySpace.
And then he started killing it and all of a sudden Judd Apatow and Seth Rogen were
in his top eight.
Right.
So I was giving him a shit one night.
I go, oh, you fucking Hollywood piece of shit.
I'm out of your top eight.
This and then he goes, fuck you, fuck you.
And then it became a thing.
Oh, yeah.
Dude, this is hilarious.
Why?
Why it's crazy.
Dude, you guys fought over a defunct source.
Top eight is so.
I know.
It's stupid.
It's so stupid.
And retrospect is stupid.
But at the time it felt real.
I've made for you.
Yeah.
It was real.
It was very real for me.
Okay.
Well, yeah.
I'm glad you told me that, man.
I don't want to get on your bad side.
I'm not like that.
I'm not like that.
Have you heard anything like that about me?
No.
On the side.
What are the negative things you've heard about me?
Come on, Ronnie.
I've never heard anyone say anything bad about you.
Exactly.
I've never heard anyone say anything bad about you.
Because I vet people a lot.
I'm like, hey, is this guy a fucking crazy person?
Yeah.
Is this guy a creepy person?
Yeah.
He's great.
He's the best guy.
And then, yeah, no.
I've never heard anyone say.
No one said, at the very least, no one has like explicitly had any like this, this,
this grievances.
Right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't.
Because I think I'm generally a nice guy.
Oh, cool.
What do you think?
I think so.
Right.
So I think so.
I think so too.
Yeah.
I don't intend to know you.
I know.
We don't know you that well.
But yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right.
But you've always been cool to me and I appreciate it.
But, but, you know, I've been in the business since 1995.
It was when I started.
You made that clear.
Yeah.
Right.
1995, we get it.
Oh, gee.
Oh my God.
95.
Oh my God.
Oldest comic.
People starting in the 70s.
I know.
But so through my history, I've had scraps.
Sure.
In 2009.
Yeah.
Not that long.
I've never had a scrap.
Yeah.
Because I'm a genuinely nice person.
I think so.
I don't just tell people I'm nice on my podcast.
Yeah.
I actually live.
I walk the talk.
Yeah.
I know.
And I've talked to other comics about you before, right?
And they've said great things about you.
Oh, great.
Yeah.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
So, I think you can see themselves in this image.
Yeah.
But those are your socks.
These are my socks.
They're not my names, honestly.
And Ronnie J.
Do you sell those socks?
Yeah.
My in-laws make them.
Oh, really?
So how do I get your socks?
I'll give them.
Are you kidding?
No, I want to buy them.
No.
I'll give them to you.
It's on your website?
No.
Don't worry about it.
I'll send it to you.
Send me an email.
And I'll email you.
Send me an email.
Oh, so it's honest thing.
It's soft.
Yeah.
So it's affordable.
But is it because your in-laws have a sock factory?
Yeah.
So adults is made by adults in Australia.
Everyone always thinks we're going crazy.
Well, also sweatshops.
Yeah.
It's adults in Australia.
I couldn't make it.
Yeah.
Happy adults.
Well, you say adults.
Are you 16, 17?
What do you mean by adults?
I mean, these guys are old.
Like, they have kids.
All they have kids are old.
Okay, all right.
These are old.
And so they have a sweatshop in Australia.
They have a factory.
They have a factory.
And then they make out of, I think, is Australian cotton.
The whole thing is Australian.
Like, this stuff is very well made.
It's not, I didn't, like, drop ship.
I don't make merch.
Oh, shit.
I don't make merch by, like, the stuff around here.
Godzilla.
Godzilla's knocked over.
I don't try to drop ship my merch.
I don't come from Nameless.
Stop doing this.
I don't know where you get your merch from.
I actually make my merch by hand.
By hand we make it, you know, by hand we see it.
No, you don't.
No, you don't.
I watch them make it.
You don't watch it.
Yeah.
I have a whole video.
Don't pull up the video.
Don't pull up the video.
So what you're saying is that you pick the cotton.
Yeah.
I pick the cotton and then I fucking weave it.
Really?
Yeah.
There's cotton in Australia?
Yeah.
There's a lot of natural resources.
Dude, he might be the first guest to take his shoes off before coming in.
He asked me in the front door.
It was crazy.
Because I'm a real Asian.
I'm a real Asian in this room.
Thank you.
I might be the only one in this room, by the way.
Wow.
What are you talking about?
What do you mean?
I take my shoes off.
I know.
Let me say something to me.
There's no one more Asian in this room than I am.
Than you?
Yeah.
Really?
As Asian as fuck.
Right?
What did you eat for dinner last night?
For dinner last night?
You had a young king.
You had Chinese food.
A Chinese food?
Oh, wow.
With my Asian friend Jean.
What race Asian?
Korean.
Well, there you go.
There you go.
It's an established pattern here.
Established pattern.
I'm here.
I don't know about you.
I'm Chinese, Malaysian.
I'm here hanging out with Koreans and Filipinos.
Yeah, but how is Chinese, Malaysian, Southeast Asian?
Malaysia is Southeast Asian.
Singapore is Southeast Asian.
We're all kind of in this little area.
There's a difference, no?
No, because like we still have like Filipino, Chinese.
There we go.
But still, you know, geographically.
All right.
You fucking asshole.
No, I'm not being an asshole.
I'm just saying that I feel like.
You know what your Koreans do in the Philippines?
What?
Really, really sus.
Yeah, what we're doing in the Philippines is not good.
And I have to tell the fucking Koreans in the Philippines, chill.
Chill out.
Thank you.
I don't even like them when I'm there.
I know.
I'm on your side.
Thank you.
If there was a race war in Cebu.
Yeah.
I'd be fighting.
Well, it was because we were dating.
But now that we're not dating, maybe I'll sigh with the Koreans.
I don't know.
It depends if we were there.
We were just there without.
We were there for the first time when we weren't dating.
Right.
And we got along pretty good.
We did.
Yeah, yeah.
Did you know that we dated?
I heard, yeah.
I heard, but I didn't know.
To be very honest, I didn't follow all the gory, whatever.
The details.
Yeah, you don't need to.
You don't need to.
No, I didn't.
Yeah, I didn't.
Was that your wife when I met her at the cellar?
Yes.
We were dating.
Oh, she's the best.
Yeah.
Vietnamese, because I hang out with people outside my race.
And nationality, Australian.
Oh, she's from Australia as well.
That's where you met?
Yeah, I met in law school.
I met in law school.
You were in law school?
Yeah, I was in law school in Australia.
Oh, my God.
Melbourne.
Melbourne, Australia.
Melbourne's got good food.
Melbourne's produces amazing.
Best coffee.
Oh, yeah.
Best everything.
They have the greatest coffee.
I heard.
Let me ask you something, though.
When you're in law school, when did you decide to stand up?
The final year of law school.
So you passed your bar?
So, okay.
So I was in my final year of law school and then I started doing stand up and I graduated
from law school and then I passed the bar.
Wow.
And then you, so you never pursued law, you just did stand up then after that?
I just did stand up because I wasn't a very good law student, to be honest.
I had very bad grades.
I couldn't really get hired.
So I was just doing stand up and I was finding more success with stand up than I was trying
to get hired.
So I just kept doing it.
What's the open mic scene like in Melbourne?
Australia.
Melbourne is the comedy capital of Australia.
And even then, it's like, you know, if you're doing one gig a week, you're killing it.
Wow.
Yeah.
Because this is not enough stage time.
If you're doing two a week, you could do like three a week, but then you're not doing
that every single week.
But is that like that now still?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Wow.
I mean, it's only 25 million, 30 million, that's 10 times less and, you know, Melbourne.
But one thing that Melbourne does have going for it is that it has the Melbourne Comedy
Festival, which I think you've never been out there.
You've been asked.
You just never.
Oh yeah.
You can't, because very American, you can't travel more than five hours on a plane.
But I know this whole, I know this whole vibe.
You know what?
I'm going to let that go.
I beat you like a poke.
It's like a poker table.
I read all your moves.
Okay.
I'm from Southeast Asia.
I know you don't want to go to Australia.
Okay.
I know you don't want to.
I'm not going to go down the road with you.
Netflix.
I know you don't want to do all this stuff.
You want to sit in your garage during your podcast.
I know this.
This is an archetype.
Okay.
First of all, dude, I want to do what you're doing as well.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Go to Australia.
What do you mean?
Well, that's what I do.
I go to Australia.
No, no, no.
I mean, in terms of like the other things that you're doing, like movies and something,
I mean, I want to do it.
Oh, right?
So I'm not just sitting here.
You're doing your dream as well, but you've been doing it too.
Yeah.
I've been doing okay.
Yeah.
It's fine, right?
It's not a competition.
Yeah.
It's not a competition.
It's a no.
Magnum PI is awesome.
What?
I'm not even joking.
I love Magnum PI.
Oh, but it's a great show.
I love it.
I love you on it.
And the show loves me.
Yeah.
And by the way, everyone, because we have the same crew.
I worked on Doogie, Kamel, Oha and Hawaii.
Oh, that's right.
That's right.
They spoke very highly of you.
They said, you're super funny.
You're so funny and you are a nice person.
I'm nice on the set.
It's just there last week, you're on Best Behavior now.
Really good.
After your reputation.
Yeah.
No, nothing bad.
No, nothing bad.
You're starting to try to turn it around and it's working.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Your PR campaign is working.
There was a bunch of bullies back then too.
Oh, here we go.
I'm going to say something right now.
Yeah, please.
Okay.
Yeah.
Bunch of bullies.
Look at one's one right here right now.
Yeah.
But when you're bullied, how do you survive?
You become a bully.
No, you don't.
You don't?
No.
You go the other way.
You go the other way?
No.
Well, what do you mean bullies?
You go up three hours, like we'll pump you, do three hours.
It was a very hostile time, especially at the Comedy Store in Hollywood back then.
You know what?
When I came to America, I was always just like, wow, I'm so excited to be here.
This is a dream to come here.
I didn't even care about any of the negatives.
So I'm just saying maybe a bit of gratefulness would have changed that around instead of
just seeing all the shit.
What did you see?
Oh my God, this guy's amazing.
He managed to do an hour.
No?
Okay.
You're not, I don't think you understand what you're talking about.
Let me say something.
You don't understand what you're talking about.
So what I'm saying to you is when you have two spots in a week, you have a 945 spot.
It's on Bunsen.
I'd be so happy.
Exactly.
You show up at the club at 945.
And then you realize when you're there that you're not going to be going up that night
because there's three other guys that are going to pump you.
I'd be so grateful.
I'd be grateful that I get to see these guys who are amazing.
Whatever happens for years.
I love it.
That's great.
So you'd never go up?
No, that's amazing.
You're wrong.
Yeah.
I'll be thanking everybody for the opportunity to watch these guys who I only saw when I
was a kid.
Okay.
Can I say this then?
Yeah.
My bad.
You know what?
You rolled over somebody.
I rolled over.
You know what?
You're right.
I'm pure evil.
I'm diabolical.
I'm a bad guy.
But that's not how I roll.
Okay.
This is how you got to combat this.
Tell me about Tai Chi.
No, you just got to...
Give me some Chi.
Tell me about the Tai Chi.
Kill you with kindness.
Don't try to fight.
Let me ask you about Tai Chi, right?
I'm going to Tai Chi.
That's not really a martial arts.
Is it?
It's not a martial arts.
It's for well-being.
All right.
If you like well-being.
So what's all this?
What does this do?
Meditative.
It's meditative.
So this isn't...
When they're doing this, that's not a fucking punch coming in.
No, man.
Okay.
No, not necessarily.
But is Tai Chi considered a martial arts?
Maybe.
It is listed as a martial arts.
But what I'm saying is that this is very American to think of martial arts in terms of killing
someone else.
Right.
Only American.
No, it's very American.
It's a defensive...
No, because martial arts is a psychological practice.
What are you talking about?
Thank you.
It's a psychological practice.
Like you...
It's for mental health.
Yeah.
Let me say something.
This is very American.
It's not American, all right?
The whole purpose of Kung Fu, even though it's defense...
This is American.
It's not American, dude.
Listen to what I'm saying.
I'll let you finish because you're getting angry.
I'm not getting angry.
I might need to use some self-defense.
I'll let you finish.
I'll let you finish.
I'll let you finish.
All right.
What I'm saying is that, fine, these fucking martial arts were created for being defensive,
right?
But it's still created to hurt somebody.
Wait.
I just had a point.
Go ahead.
I think we have the best martial arts.
Filipinos.
Machetes.
Arnis.
Grima.
I didn't know machetes was a martial art.
Fantastic.
Night fighting.
Night fighting.
All the weapons fighting?
Yeah.
Kali.
Yeah, Kali.
It's the best.
Filipinos.
Holy shit.
It's killer, yeah.
All I'm asking is fundamentally, is Tai Chi a martial art?
Yes.
No, you see, this is a very American.
Okay.
Explain that.
It's very American to think of martial arts in terms of how effective can I kill this
other person with it?
If I can't win the UFC championship, then this is bullshit.
It's a very American way of thinking about martial arts.
Okay.
Because if you want to win the UFC championship, you're already, okay.
First of all, in UFC, you're already discounting the fact of like multiple combatants, you
know, like it's one-on-one, there's a referee, don't kick you in the dick, you know, there's
rules.
I'm not saying it's not effective.
They'll beat the shit out of anybody.
It's like, it's like saying, I got this shotgun, right?
And I meditate with it.
No, no.
It's not.
That's also very American.
I hold it in my, I hold it in my hand.
It's the most American idea.
Right?
No.
The whole purpose.
No, it's not.
It is for defensive.
Okay.
All martial arts is restrained.
Practicing a discipline.
I'm going to straight not shooting this guy with a shotgun.
That's an American.
It's the same thing.
Let's talk to a real martial artist.
It is a martial art.
Thank you.
But Gilbert, you've trained your whole life.
Tai Chi is a real martial art.
What is martial arts to you?
So it is for combat, but also to get those skills for combat, it is also for spirituality
and it's also for discipline.
What I'm saying though, right?
What I'm saying though is in Tai Chi, all I've seen is this, right?
How is this going to hurt anybody?
Because you are meditating and trying to be calm while doing that and restraint and then
in a real fight, you need to be elusive.
Bruce Lee, be like water.
Yeah.
You know that scene in Sicario?
Yeah.
I've seen the movie.
When they go like, nothing will make sense to your American years.
That's what's going on right now because if you're thinking about like, if you think
about martial arts like cars, okay, a F1 car, well, sorry, I didn't know what you said.
Oh, cars.
Yeah.
I thought you were like John Kennedy saying car.
Car.
I know he's very American to not understand the accent, so I'll try to be like super
American.
Well, also guess what, Ronnie?
You're in America.
Yeah.
All right.
Why don't you change for us?
All right.
I'm trying.
Or get the fuck out.
I'm trying.
What do you think of that?
There we go.
All right.
There we go.
What do you think of that?
That's the real Bobby coming out right now.
No, because I'm tired of this fucking.
Americans don't understand.
The reason why I don't understand anything you're saying is because I've been America
right now.
He's Tai Chi-ing you right now.
Yeah.
He's Tai Chi-ing me right now.
Tai Chi-ing?
He's up right now on the scoreboard.
Okay.
Okay.
So Tai Chi back.
But he says you're American.
Tai Chi back.
You're Australian.
No, no, no.
You're supposed to Singapore.
No, no, no.
You're supposed to say I'm very American.
Educate me.
That's how you Tai Chi me back.
I don't need to be educated.
But that's the thing.
I don't need to be educated.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm American.
No, you don't.
I'm American.
Yeah.
Let me say that.
You can't be very American.
Right.
You don't have to be anything other than American.
You don't need it.
No, you don't need me to tell you.
I'm just saying.
I'm just trying to give you my perspective.
Yeah, but I'm tired of foreigners coming into my fucking garage.
And telling me what I'm what I'm not and not doing it.
I was not welcoming the foreigners into your garage then.
No, I'm glad you're here.
This has been a great part.
No, this is great.
I'm glad you're here.
How much fucking longer do you want me to do this?
We're not even close.
Oh my God.
We're not in LA.
Can you learn how to edit in Los Angeles?
We do edit on this podcast.
What's up with not editing in LA?
That's what Neil Brennan and these fucking hoodies do.
Yeah.
We edit in this fucking podcast.
You can't do 21 minutes.
Kill me now.
I can't do 20 minutes in this garage.
We're fucking the angriest guy in comedy.
Let's go back to my American mindset.
Okay, so in terms of martial arts.
Okay.
If you're thinking about cars, okay?
F1 car will beat any other kind of planet all the time.
F1 is like, F1 car is like mixed martial arts.
If you train MMA every single day, you will beat anyone else one on one.
Probably any other martial arts one on one.
But like the dedication and the destruction to your body that you need to do to maintain
that level.
Is it worth, is that what you want to live your whole life doing in an MMA gym?
No.
So the alternative is why not drive a BMW or a Mercedes?
For example, Wing Chun or Brazilian Jiu Jitsu or something else where you can enjoy your
life and still get to where you need to go.
Can I go Prius?
Yeah.
Right, if you use a Mercedes to fight F1, yeah, you're not going to win.
But that's like saying, so we should all only drive F1 cars.
There's other cars that might suit your day to day life.
Not all of us want to destroy our shins kicking banana trees.
So Tai Chi is Prius.
Tai Chi would be like, I don't know, it would be like a mental.
A smart car.
A smart car.
But again, this whole thing is like, that's what you get out of it.
Maybe you get calmness out of it.
Maybe you get, you know, for people who only sit in their garages doing podcasts, you get
some movement out of it, right?
You get off your ass and you get to move a little bit as opposed to sitting down doing
three-hour podcasts every single day, right?
Yeah, and also there's a whole lot of like, like intensity.
And getting angry and angry inside.
Yeah, I'm not even talking about you.
I'm not even talking about you.
I'm not even talking about you.
I'm saying that instead of seeing your garage getting angry and angry and not moving, you
could go and do Tai Chi and let go of anger and have some movement with your body.
Because there's a whole lot of like, think about it, Bobby.
You, because he does yoga.
You're really good at yoga.
You love it.
Thank you.
But then how Tai Chi is similar, there's a lot of intentionality behind every move.
Like you're very connected to your fingertips.
I know, but yoga, is it a martial arts?
You know what I mean?
Yoga was, no one did, I'm going to do a fucking downward dog, right?
And this is going to defend against that fucking knee kick.
Well, right?
If you did a downward dog.
And did it in front of a knee kick?
If someone did a knee kick and I did a downward dog.
As the guy who has actually been in a fight.
That would be ridiculous, right?
All I'm asking, it was Tai Chi created as a, as a, no, but the premise is very American.
Okay.
Let me answer your question.
You can't use Tai Chi.
Okay.
That's all I want to say.
Yeah.
Wow.
You've reproven a point here that you cannot use Tai Chi.
If you use Tai Chi, you can't beat John Jones and the UFC Heavyweight Championship.
Okay.
You want to hear?
It's pointless.
Okay.
Great.
It's Tai Chi pointless.
Yes, it is.
Well, I mean, some people in this room could probably benefit from it.
For example, you know, moving and, and, and letting go of anger.
But hey, you know, what do I know?
I'm just a fucking foreigner.
Right?
Oh, you know what?
I'll pick up a black belt and Tai Chi then.
Okay.
Great.
Go do that.
All right.
Also, it's interesting to bring up yoga because yoga was from India, which is where Buddhism
came from.
And then Buddhism spread to China and they brought the yoga with them.
So that's why the Shaolin Kung Fu has yoga elements.
They do a lot of stretching and all that.
So a lot of the martial arts came from yoga.
So again, it's very American to go like, this is useless.
Why the fuck anyone do this?
But they don't see like how stuff evolved from other stuff, you know, it's just super
American to be short-sighted and to not appreciate anything around you and to just don't know
how to criticize.
Okay.
Not think long-term.
Yeah, you're right.
But you are born in America.
So your mindset is very American.
Yeah.
You know what?
Can you even speak Korean?
Oh, you can?
Great.
Yeah, yeah.
Is that only phrase, you know?
No, I don't watch Parasite.
You turn the subtitles?
I do.
You do?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay.
That's, you know, because...
All right.
So it's like...
So what I want to say is I could probably watch a kid's show right in Korean and not turn
on the subtitles.
No.
Yeah, because I was born in San Diego.
Yeah.
Right?
I've made that very clear.
Exactly.
Yeah.
And I want to re-clear it and clarify.
Sure.
I was born here.
Okay, great.
Okay.
And I don't know much.
I didn't go to college.
I didn't go to law school.
Did you even go to high school?
He got an empty diploma.
I got an empty diploma.
Wow.
That's amazing how talented you are.
Despite very little school.
Yeah.
Well, I went to my first rehab at 15.
Really?
Yeah.
Whoa.
All right.
So I had some problems.
Where'd you learn how to read?
I know how to read well.
Oh, okay.
See me at table read.
Yeah.
Why don't you do this?
Write me a fucking movie.
We'll do a table read.
You guys should do a movie together.
I think it'd be funny.
Someone mentioned like they should do an odd couple.
You guys should be the odd couple.
I do think so.
I don't think we can afford him.
No.
But I could play his dad.
Could you?
No.
I could play your dad.
What's the age difference?
Because he looks young.
So he's not enough to be my dad.
He looks like he's my older brother.
Your very well preserved for your age?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's a good thing.
Sorry.
Sorry.
I know you're very American.
Well preserved means like you look good for your age.
Yeah.
I've eaten jam before.
What?
Like jam.
Preserved.
That's preserved.
Yeah.
Okay.
preserve in a thing and then you'd put it on fucking bread okay toasted bread
all right that's you preserved kimchi is very good very good five stars right
and it's also there's a lot of probiotics in kimchi all right amazing so
there's certain things I do know good for you and I know how do you spell
preserved P okay R wait what yep we got it good e s preserved no no let me try
okay let me finish okay er e s er ve preserve okay good good here I have a
question for you is that right yes correct what about why did you say no
when I saw I was trying to psych you out oh I was trying to psych you out don't
be a don't be a spelling bee fucking judge all right the kids would freak
that I have a challenge could have could have c o u ld a process a process a
prostitute a prostitute a prostitute fe ve ve very good yeah all right give him
one give him one anybody who grows up in Asia like our spelling is impeccable
give him banana give him banana it'll throw him for a loop banana b a n a n a
whoa that was crazy I couldn't do that but that is hard for me I always put
two ends together when I say car what do you hear car cartoon yeah that's no you
say cartoon yeah it's there's no R when you say it and then are you one of those
agents can't say they are I think I can say that my name is Ronnie that's
fun that's true yeah yeah yeah but what yet he doesn't come so funny but I don't
know what I'm I don't know what you guys hear when I talk when you say what I
are at most of the words I can't understand you can't understand I'm
saying this I understand most of the words right but when you say are it's a
little weird you say it in a Bostonian way Austin yeah it's not Asian it sounds
more Bostonian well I use I spent some time in New Hampshire does that oh did
you really yeah yeah when I was a kid I was I grew up in New Hampshire a little
bit oh oh I didn't know that that's interesting and just in New Hampshire oh
I didn't know that so maybe that's where you gotta what are your thoughts on
someone like Hilaria Baldwin like fully adopting a Spanish accent you hear
about that no I don't know who that is I like Baldwin's wife and she grew up in
the United States but she used to spend some summers in Spain but then now she
speaks like these like como se dice like accent oh and people are calling her
out on it being like hey like you're kind of like I don't know that yeah I
don't know either I don't know anything about it if I knew about it I'd have a
comment but I could come on on this right yeah I know that you know you can't
pick up an accent if you were raised you know I mean as a kid you can yeah you
can't there is what they get to a point in your age development that if you have
I was raised in America for ten years and I went to Australia I would pretty
much still have an American accent oh yeah yeah yeah that is true don't you
think that's probably what happened to me I lived in Australia for ten years yeah
because I see I hear a lot of Australian when you talk you do oh I dole like what
what's what was that by the way what a self-hating guy who can't who can't
what's Australian what what do I say there's Australian it just I don't know
specific word they're just there is a Australian undertone to it really yeah
to when you're talking wow there is a little gookie-gook too in there oh that's
oh that's the self-hating coming off self-hating no what you know you don't
you have a bit about that what about what how black people have the n-word and
then you say the g-word always that related to what you just said what I'm
saying is that I can use the word gook oh yeah but you but you oh on another
Asian you can use another yeah that's what I'm saying yeah but you when you
say it there's no love behind what I mean there's no love behind you're saying
it because you know when I saw each other straight right what's up gook you
would never do that why because my gook because I'm my gook yeah when you say
that there's so much hatred behind it okay that's what I want to say me you
don't say it because you don't hate me okay I want to do it so that it feels
authentic and it feels no way to do it yeah I'm gonna try I'm gonna try and we're
walking on the street I see each other I'm walking what's up yo what's up why
you in that yeah why now you know fending everybody you're fending
alright you're right my bad all right I'm just working it out I'm working this
character out all right you be Bobby hey what's up gook yeah that's horrible yeah
you can't okay doesn't roll off no it doesn't roll you see it to me then I
don't think I hey what's up gook I don't think I don't think I don't think
I don't think you can use gook in anyway I'll go what's up dude yeah what's up
dude yeah right but what I'm saying is what's coming up what's coming up you is
this agent self-hatred and we can all hear it that's why it's not working I
don't have don't stop it's Tai Chi it back all right you have self-hatred as
well holy yeah yeah why do you hate your people so yeah this is not Jedi
mind okay I love my people and I want to say that I was raised with a lot of
whites and when I moved to LA 20 plus years ago I was amongst you know that's
you know I've been trying to reach out I've been trying to become more of who I
am connected you know okay when you're raised in the suburbs of the you try to
conform and you know you there's also these little micro aggressions that
happen this and then you absorb all that stuff and now as a lot of people yeah
I'm trying to I love you man thank you man yeah yeah I love you so much thank
you do you think that there is an upside to having been like Asian growing up
somewhere else like I think there is for I think there's an upside he's more
evolved but for certain please let him continue
hold that thought I could feel like I always think like when I when I first
came here when I was 15 I was like you people like you had the advantage
because I was like oh he grew up here he doesn't have like you know he doesn't
need to live in this limbo like where the fuck do I belong I was a fob but then
now I think I have the advantage you do because like I have a true sense of like
I don't know like my Asian identity doesn't feel challenged ever because it's
like I grew up in the Philippines I speak the language like I feel very
connected to it like I can understand how yours is a little bit more like
fractured that identity mm-hmm does that make sense I do feel it I'm yeah I I
don't know who I am whoa this is this is man I'm not real I don't know who I am
and I want to know more about who I am or where I come from and the culture and
all that stuff but I don't know how and I don't think it'll ever happen let's do
a show my work here is done but I did it but but that being said that being said
I am very proud of myself when you go to Korea do you feel like who I am you feel
like less than in Korea I feel like nobody because it's like they don't have
like in the Philippines if you're Joe Koi right he's gonna be because they speak
English they love you know American culture you're mean the music films and
whatnot right but in Korea it's like they have their own thing going on so
whenever whenever I'm there nobody knows who I am not a single person right and I
just feel like a complete alien but you know a good way what I mean like in a
good way or bad way when you go that you feel like I'm anonymous now I can just
know it is interesting right a bad way okay in a bad way yeah well okay well
because you know because you when you're you know an American Korean American
comedian and some of the things that I've done in America like last 30 years
when they don't respect it or even know about it it hurts it doesn't okay a
little bit no you don't care I like in Singapore I say this without bravado I
say I'm not I'm not trying to make it sound like I'm so tough or whatever but
I like I'm not that famous in America I got nothing on you
you are but like I don't think in Malaysia or Singapore they really know
about me and I'm like okay I'm totally okay with that I don't I don't want to
say I don't care as though like I don't care what these people think it's more
like oh I first of all what we do is counter-cultural anyway if you do stand
up comedy it's already counter-cultural like you shouldn't be looking for
everyone to give you a round of applause already okay so that's that's one and
then two it's like I left there to come here so why would I be angry at them for
not knowing me like what I do isn't wasn't for them I wasn't trying to okay
okay so like what you know you are huge in Philippines though I don't know about
that you're massive there you're massive though what okay it's always
news to me because I don't have any I don't tour there I don't you know so you
know I'm don't get me wrong I'm happy when people like what I'm doing but it's
like I how why would I be angry at them for not knowing me it's like you have
their own thing going on Philippines has their own entertainment industry you're
absolutely going on correct you're right there's some shame there you're right
no there's no shit no no I want you right I want to be better what you're
right it's called you're so good man you're very good it's very
counter-cultural what we're doing let me finish sorry sorry everyone's gonna love
what you do right and I'm okay with who I am and what I'm doing is he praying
right now I'm not praying I'm doing Tai Chi oh my mental Tai Chi well learn some
actual Tai Chi I've learned so much about myself today and I want to I want to
grow okay well that's all right I guess my work so your work is not done because
we have an unhelpful advice yeah we got a question so when the no we have one
last fuck it's almost done end this shit we will we will we have a fan five
minutes five minutes five five minutes so we have a fan question couple people
brought this up is that they know is that Ronnie question yes I'm a question
okay go ahead so this is a lot of people mentioned like hey Ronnie is actually a
very good BJJ practitioner presented just these are real martial artists is there
a way we can convince Bobby to do BJJ Ronnie I want to just show like there
are a lot you can't fill a cup that's already things is full how big is the
cup look in a mirror it's thick it's thick it's a milkshake it's a milkshake
when you drop drop it it never breaks or it's just fucking shatters in me that's
all right and Bobby look yeah a lot of other comedians that are doing BJJ I
feel like Joe Cohen Joe Cohen's doing it a lot Joey a coco's been doing it for a
minute so can I be honest with you I don't know what belt he is oh he's blue
no Ronnie he's blue right I feel like I can with no skills at all with that out
ever I feel like I could go go into a fucking mat I feel like I'll be able to
but you know that's wrong that's that's not wrong that's right you have a
extensive wrestling background I do so you can already grapple I can grapple
yeah yeah you can I'm just saying that it's not gonna be in a walk in the park
yeah cuz you can already take it's not gonna be a walk in the park all right
Bob right no no I'm not right you're the no no no that's not right the toughest
but no that's not what I'm saying okay right I think that your your European
mind or your foreign mind or whatever I whatever it is right right is is very
closed that's the word you were looking for I've a closed mind you have a closed
mind right I'm willing and what you don't get is sheer will there you are yeah
you don't understand that sheer will oh sheer will route surviving in America
survivor yeah yeah right this is a vibe right and this guy right here right there
this dude is still in me this isn't right somewhere I can do a double tech
double leg oh really I could do a double leg a single leg right and what I'm
saying is is that it'll take you a while for you to fucking tap me I would you
probably beat the shit out of me but I don't have any I've tried to submit him
a couple times and right very no neck okay yeah but I'm willing to take a
class what class do you take please tell Ronnie well I mean the real goal with
all this honestly is mental health so if you can go to this and you get something
I'll tell you what this is very meditative because when you're doing
this you have to stay in the present you have no choice but to stay in the
present because I was trying to kill you so you have to stay in the present and
so when you're living in the present you're not thinking about the future
you know the past it's very meditative what I tell you about these Asians it's
like do you hear him say Asian I'm looking at mirror man I'm
terminator yeah and your T2 you turn into liquid he's still Arnold wait but
doesn't T2 lose they both lose all the terminators we all John Connor's the
white guys I don't know what yeah what I'm saying is that you're more evolved
Asian okay and it's just I love learning from you kids man oh thank you right
but you're a better model than me well that's very kind of you to say but for
the record that movie T1 held his own against T2 in a underdog that is true
but so I get that I don't overanalyze it all right so Ronnie any want to
plug anything no why I don't what his social media worry about it don't worry
about it don't go anywhere and just talk about just fucking if you're
listening to Australia switch up by any other shit just I don't care about that
shit all right don't do anything yeah don't follow me in fact you follow me
unfollow me okay about any of that stuff just I'm last question please have
you been playing the store lately I've been lucky to get on yeah that's great
it's the yeah it's great are you gonna be there this week I'm this right there
this week I'll try yeah I'll try yeah I'll try yeah I'll try and then I love
the improv and logo as well everyone in LA has been very welcoming to me so thank
you all the comics for you're great you know being being so kind and like you
know it's always you know when when some guy comes from out of town and it's
always like looking for stage time but everyone here so it can get very kind
of tiring you know when you when you see some we don't have anyone like you but
no that's very kind yeah thanks for thanks everyone for welcome me I'm glad
it wasn't Roddy Chang a round of applause combative experience get around
get to fuck