TigerBelly - Tim Dillion & "I’m a flake, I’m a liar”

Episode Date: April 16, 2025

Tim Dillion finally makes it to the studio and makes a reservation at the top-rated restaurant Shin Chon Son. We chat Crazy Rich Asians, Yogurtland, first kiss, incel movies, alien feet, spicy chili wonton soup, Joker 2.  Thank you to our sponsor www.helixsleep.com/belly  Visit www.bluechew.com for more details and important safety information, and we thank BlueChew for sponsoring the podcast. Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial and start selling today at www.shopify.com/tigerbelly 

🎵 Music 🎵 You're good. How miles must- Hey, don't look at me You can look at me You can look at me You're good How miles muscle Get out of my seat, man Get the fuck out of my seat, man What are you doing, guy? Don't ever do that again You fat Mexican fuck

Hey, say hello to our guest We don't have a woman today She hasn't been on it for like six months Oh? We don't have a woman today. She's not, she didn't come. She hasn't been on it for like six months. Oh, I don't know. It's my favorite show. I should have noticed. I should have noticed that. Yeah, you should have. It's one of those things.

I didn't realize. Nice to meet you. How are you? Good, Tim. His name is Tim. Yes. He said your own name. How are you doing, Tim? What's going on? Yeah, no worries.

I thought his name was Tim as well. That's very interesting. I've never met a Mexican named Tim, have you? Not yet, but I'm for it. Maybe when we have a baby, Tim. I'd love to. You'd adopt a baby with me? I don't believe in adoption.

Oh, steal. Would you steal a baby with me? I don't believe in adoption. Oh, steal. Would you steal a baby with me? Yes. So, uh... I don't know, let's start over. Can I have more volume? Okay. Dill, Dill, Dill, D volume, okay. Tim, Tim, Tim, Dylan's here. Fourth time's a charm.

Thank you for having me. I'm sorry I canceled seven other times. It's okay. Tim Dylan, give him a round of applause. What a wonderful, wonderful. Yeah, I hate fruit flies. So we have Tim Dillon. He is probably one of my favorite comics right now. I don't know why.

I appreciate that. It's very nice of you. And you've said that other places, and I always appreciate it when you say it. Okay, anyway. You know, we've had our problems. Our differences. We have have many years. Yeah Yeah, I don't want to dig back

History back. No. Yeah. Yeah It was What it was very silly. Well, what do you think it was? It wasn't like a deep-seated anger. It was we were What do you think? We were like mad. What was it? I was we were like mad what was it I can't remember what it is what was it no you remember because you fucked up you remember I I was supposed to do something and I didn't do it yes that's that's your whole life though but Bobby that's also a little bit of your life now. Ooh, reversal. What do you mean?

A little bit. No, tell me. You also just don't do things sometimes. Yeah, who do you think is more flaky? We're all, we also do think, well sometimes you also will forget a thing, right? No, I'll do things, I won't do things because you won't do them.

Oh, okay. Oh, so I'll give you an example. I'll give you an example. I'll give you an example. Right? RFK. Yes. Right?

I do like that. Right? So even by the way, even when we were mad at each other, we were still back channeling on what we should and shouldn't do. It was like when Russia and the US were about to nuke each other. They were still back channel negotiations to try to prevent that. Even when maybe we weren't happy with each other, we're still like, we're not gonna get on a boat

with RFK and Cheryl. Like the Cuban Missile Crisis. Yes. There was back channeling going on. We said we're not gonna get on a boat with Adriana from The Sopranos and talk about vaccines for two hours in Santa Monica. But one incident has nothing to do with the other,

that's my problem, though. Yeah, but I'm trying to remember what it was. I'm gonna tell you what it is. I was in New York, right? Yeah, but I'm trying to remember what it was. I'm gonna tell you what it is. I was in New York, right? Yeah, can I tell you what it is? Yes. All right, so it was for our 300th? Yes.

400th. 400th. Yes. So, you know, we're coming up on our 500th, right? It's a big celebratory thing. Yes. You know what I mean? It's like when Koreans turned 60, it's a huge thing.

It's a big deal. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We had a choir. We had a choir. Did we have an El Marachi band? No, that was Bad Friends, we had a big deal. We had a choir. We had a choir. Did we have an El Marachi band? No, that was Bad Friends, we had a choir here. We had a choir here that came in. We had a whole thing set, we had balloons.

I feel very bad. I'm not, no don't, because I'm going to tell you what we had. And it was a big, we were so excited to have you. Yes. And then like maybe 20 minutes before the show started, I called you and you go, I'm in the Hamptons. That's a great answer.

In my mind, when I sleep at night, I hear that sometimes. I'm in the Hamptons, I'm in the Hamptons. I felt really bad because I was eating a lobster roll. And it made it worse. I felt bad. And I felt bad, but I apologize. You have, but I'm just saying, and we'll never discuss it again, right? Yes.

But you doubled down on your thing. Yes. You know what I mean? Because I think what happens is you get defensive. I got defensive. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you know what, you're here now. I'm here now because

What? I believe in a path forward for the country. Oh, you do. Wow. Because you're a big proponent of tariffs. I believe in tariffs on a level that no one does. I know. So much tariffs on things.

I believe in emotional tariffs. Oh, you do. Where you levy and you make someone pay to be who they are. Wow, I don't know what that means. I don't know what that means, but I like it. If I get a mail order bride from China, there should be a tariff on that.

How much money do you think? We gotta slap 30%. On my Asian wife, Chinese wife? On the mail order. She has no titties. 20%. All right, we can go down. Flat ass.

Flat ass. 15%. Okay, too flat of a face like this. Oh God. Bobby, it's getting to a point where we don't even, I don't think it's worth it. The tariff? It's not worth it.

I think the person. Yeah, yeah. Another thing is I've noticed about you is, if I may. Yes, you may. Okay. He's weight. Excuse me? You gonna talk about his weight?

I thought that was gonna bring it on my bad team. You never said that was gonna bring it on? Oh that's insane what you just, you just. I thought it was, I thought the other's gonna bring it on my bad team. Oh Never said that we're gonna bring that oh, that's insane what you just I thought the other one was good. I was excited I've no idea who this guy I'm sure the nice guy. I thought it was the other I know I know I thought it was her I had a whole Asian stuff. I thought that's what this one was. But it's not, it's a different one. It's a different one. Okay, sorry.

And it's a... But it's got me excited. I'm also offended by that question. No, I'm excited. Jaime, and fuck off. Is Jaime, is your name like Jaime, like a derogatory name for a Jewish person? No.

That's the craziest Jaime. know. Jaime. That's what we call Jewish people where I'm from. Yeah, yeah. I apologize for saying that. Go ahead. What was? Oh, go ahead. No, I apologize. It's Jamie, but then it's okay. Anyway, we don't do Hispanic. Yeah, we don't do Hispanic the election happened Just memorize that I see e and that's your future if you don't fucking shut the fuck up I see What does that spell? Huh? I? see dead people Exactly Huh? I see dead people. Exactly. So we got one of those ones that like,

you know, tried to cross the fence. He climbed too high. He fell and his head, he hit his head on that rock. That's okay. Yeah, it's okay. And he was like, whoa, boy. It's a good act. This is gonna be tough to deport.

Because when ICE is asking questions, he's gonna throw them in different directions where they have no idea what's going on. Yeah, yeah. Anyway, I don't think Mexico would want you back. I'm not even from Mexico, I'm from Texas. Okay, anyway. So we buried that hatch.

Yeah. Thank God. So we buried the 300. Well, that's good. But then we've had some recent, some joyous experiences. We've had lovely times. Yeah. One being a full blown nightmare for me.

And I'd like to bring it up if I may. You're so famous, it's unreal. That's really what it comes down to. That's not what I was going to say. OK. But that is true. I was shocked. I realized you were known, but to the level was crazy.

What? Do you think I was an open mic or what the fuck? You know what's offensive about you Tim? I never thought that. You know what's offensive about you Tim, right? Yes. You're shocked that people know who I am? No.

Are you shocked that people know who the fuck you are? I'm shocked that anyone knows anyone. Exactly. It was so many young people and it was, the amount of people and the age range and the different cultures was amazing. It's actually impressive. The blacks?

Well, that was a little startling. Yeah, yeah. But no, but it was a lot of people that I was like, wow, that's awesome. Well, I'm, you know, I don't know much about anything, right? So my comedy level is very kind of young. Yeah. And I think that maybe that's the reason why it is.

But the thing is- Everybody was so happy to see you. But you took me to a rapper. Yeah, we went to a rapper's party. So this rapper's gonna fly in on a helicopter. Birthday party. It was me, Tim. Marcello.

Marcello Hernandez. And Annie. And Annie Letterman. And we're in your Rolls Royce. Oh wow. We drive to this thing on Wilshire. This building, you know what the building looked like? You know, remember in Die Hard? Yeah. Yeah This building, you know what the building looked like, you know remember in diehard. Yeah, the first one, you know, I mean Yeah, I like that. Yeah, we're going up and you know, we're a white rapper that old rappers now are white

Yes, and that I mean this they're the best kind now You're right, you're right, you're right. Yeah, maybe take that out. This one's really good. He's very good. He was really talented. What a great performer. Netspend.

Netspend. Net. Net. Net-nyah-ho. Net-nyah-ho. He went to go see Bibi Net-nyah-ho. He did rap music. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And it was good. And he threw his little head thing into the grave. Yeah, took the hat. What do you call those? Yamakas? Yamaka. Yeah, Yamaka. That's another thing. Are you Jew?

I'm not. You're at the Grove. Yeah. Right, and you wanna act Jew. What do you do, you know? I'll tell you what I do. What do you do? What?

I throw a penny down and I grab it really quickly. That's good. I put on, I get a smoothie and I put on scenes from Gaza and I laugh. Like, I laugh. Oh my God. And people go, wow, that's, you're like, I have that. And they go, interesting, and I go, I know.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, just subtle ways. Just subtle ways. Just subtle ways. Very good. Just kind of get in there. Very good. What are you though? Irish, German, just kind of white.

Oh, you're just a white guy. Just white. And your family's white, apparently. I think. Yeah. No, they're white, they're Irish. Grandfather came over from Ireland, legit Irish. Wow.

And then how many, because I don't know anything about you, like we hang out sometimes, I don't know anything about you, what? No, I'm just being adjusted. Please please not do that I'm trying to listen to his Ireland okay you know where Ireland is yeah where across the sea exactly that's right you're genius anyway um and that's where you tell them you're from if they give you a problem from Ireland across the sea. Do your

best Irish accent. I got here first and then I can repeat it. Can you do one? It's hard. Yeah, can anyone do it? I'm after me Lucky Charms. Go ahead. I tell you pussy, I go, kakakakaka. And they're like, stop that. Just lick it, no. Kakakakaka. Seriously, stop. No, no, no, no, kakakakaka. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they like it, you know? But anyway, so I know anything about your background.

You grew up in New York? Yeah. Yeah. I actually grew up, this is funny, I actually grew up in Malaysia. No, seriously, grew up in Kuala Lumpur Are you being real? That's serious. That's why yeah Malaysia in Kuala Lumpur, you know Kuala Lumpur I grew up there and I spent a lot of my formative years at a prep school in Kuala Lumpur

I put hockey there because my parents were working for a Multinational import-export company Wow, So I lived in Kuala Lumpur. You grew up with a little wealth. We were incredibly wealthy. And I lived in Kuala Lumpur for my whole life. You did, like went to high school and everything. Everything, until last year. How'd you learn everything?

I'm good like that. You absorb information. So you're serious to me. If I find out you're lying. Bobby. You grew up in Coeur du Mont-Lor. Wait, say it one more time. Bobby, of course I'm lying. Of course I didn't grow up in Koala, Le Port.

Maybe on a military base. I don't know, you learned English on the military base. No, I was from Long Island. All right, all right! God damn, dude. Koala. God, you're from Koala, Le Port, all right? So listen, you grew up in Long Island. Long Island. All right, all right! God damn, dude. Kuala Lumpur. God, you're from Kuala Lumpur, all right? So listen, you grew up in Long Island.

Long Island. Is that near Malaysia? No, it's near Manhattan. All right, Manhattan, yeah. Okay, and how many kids were in the family? One. You're the only kid. That's it, it's just me.

And then your parents are still together? No, my mother has died. I'm sorry. And I killed her. Oh, very good. And it's an open investigation, but. Are still together? No, my mother has died. I'm sorry and I killed her Oh very good and it's an open investigation, but When did she die? I know you don't like this. No, I don't mind this question But I'm just trying to it's such an exact like I'm gonna get it wrong and the people gonna go

How can you not remember and I'm gonna go well, that's your family tariffs. Yeah Amazing. It's kind of cute. It's a cute, your mom's pretty. She was pretty, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then, and they see. That's the communion in the Catholic thing. You get the communion. Yeah.

And that was. You were a problem child. Look at your, you look like Damien from fucking Omen. I was, I like to, I like a little chaos. Yeah. Even as a kid, you were like a rambunctious. It was fun to have fun. It was fun to smoke cigs and do drugs.

I was doing blow at like 13 and stuff. I did math at 12. You did math at 12. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, and what is that about us? Something's wrong. Is that what it is? Something's not, I've already said that.

I'm going off. There's something wrong with me. No, anyone doing math at 12 or blow at 13. Yeah, that's not the ideal but something I know it's not the ideal but that's something happened before to trigger it because I know my thing I was just a why was an actress little kid. I was acting like six years old Mmm, and I was like this crazy kid Mmm, but I was never like molested or I was never abused or beaten up or like burning with cigarettes.

I didn't have to do the blow. But I did. And were your parents concerned? It wasn't great. But they didn't know, they didn't know I was doing that. They were just like, oh, we'd maybe smoke weed, that's bad, they hated that. But I was bad kid.

And your dad's still around? He's still around. I mean, can I ask you an honest question? Is he proud of you? I think so. Yeah, I mean, you're killing it. Yeah, I think he's happy about it. I think it's a weird world, meaning like, you know,

I think it's an odd thing to do for a living. What we do? Yeah. It's an odd thing to do for living what we do. Yeah Yeah, it's all it's hard for people to understand. I think he knows he's very proud. It's going well But I think I think it's weird for anyone to understand it Yeah, like if I was a regular person with a regular job and had two kids and lived a regular life Maybe they would like that more maybe yeah, right? I don't know. Yeah. Yeah, cuz my mom doesn't any grandkids Right. Yeah, she asked mom doesn't have any grandkids. Right. She asks questions like, are you gay?

Right. No. Yeah. My father says that in the same voice. He calls up in an Asian voice, are you gay? Really? It's the craziest. It's crazy.

I don't know why he does it. Why would he make that choice? He won't stop. You think the groundlings or something? He wants to find out as a gay, as an Asian woman. Wow. Wow, wow. Yeah. Go ahead.

So I think they like don't know, I think they're proud, but they don't, you know, it's a weird thing. Yeah, what's, I mean, as a parent, if I had a kid, it was like, I want to do standup. Yeah. I would be worried because you can see that first five years being so brutal.

Yeah. Was it brutal for you or? It was hard, I didn't have any money. It was fun. It's fun, yeah. It's a lot of fun. You get addicted to it, it's fun, but it's like, it's dopamine hits.

It's another drug. Yeah, it's a big drug. And I don't think they cared that it would be hard. I think they were just kinda like, they were like, okay, good for you. I hear us how I know we're similar because a couple of weeks ago on a Monday, you called the club and goes,

do you have any spots for me to go? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I do the same thing. Is there anything I can do because I can't be in here? Sometimes it's depressing in Los Angeles because people are upset and their houses are all burned out in there. And it's too their houses are all burned out. And it's too much.

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It's my no and I get angry were you scared that your house is no no house is okay, right? It's all Listen yeah I mean listen. Yeah. So what if it didn't burn down? What does that mean? I'm unaffected? I'm affected. You're not affected.

I'm as affected as someone who's home burned down. Oh, you really are. Oh, tell me some of the feelings you're going through, you fuckface. Because the thing is, I don't like this idea that just because someone's house burned down, they're more deserving of sympathy than I am. That's crazy. It is crazy.

We're part of a human fucking connected. We're part of a human community. And when I went to the montage in Laguna Beach and I said, I'd like an ice cream sundae. And she said, oh, we don't make them after 11. I said, oh, I'm sorry, my house burned down and they brought an ice cream sundae and then I ate it in the lobby. And I pretended to be on the phone with an insurance person. And my friend goes, why are you saying all this stuff about insurance to me? Yeah, and I said just do this for a minute

Oh for the ice cream lady. Yeah. Yeah for her and then she goes and I said and here's some money and she goes You know what? It's on the house. I said, yeah Yeah, it's it's like when I see you know, like when Tragedy happens with Asians like when Virginia Virginia Tech happened. You're affected. I was affected by Virginia. And also, since it was a Korean guy, for a year I was Chinese. That's right.

You can do that. I knew a guy, I was roommates with a guy who's Russian, then the Ukraine war happened, now he's Ukrainian. Yeah, exactly. He just decided he's Ukrainian. Decide. You can decide. Yeah, yeah.

I can decide. Yeah, it's my choice. So that's why I called the club. I was really depressed because everyone here's got to get to act together Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. What do you mean with this with this city? I know I know you have to be it is long It is glum. It's it's gloomy. It's gloomy. It's gloomy. Yeah, and it's all day. Everyone's about oh, I have no job My house is burned down. I can't work. There was a home invasion that tied my wife up. And I'm like, hey man, not what this is about.

It's not what any of this is about. I don't wanna hear any of this. Come to me with positive, happy things. Let me be a neighbor. Hey Tim, I know my wife died, but I be a neighbor. Hey Tim, yeah, I know my wife died of a butt. Right. I found a butterfly. No, this is what LA is now.

LA goes like, LA used to be this. LA used to be like, how are you? You're doing good, I'm doing good. I'm doing so good, I don't even wanna talk about it. I hear you're doing good. You're like, I'm doing actually great. You're like, I'm doing great. Here's what LA is now.

How do you think that girl from Buffy died? Why did her liver fail? Wait, who was that? And I go, I don't know why her liver, and they go, they told her her liver was gonna fail if she didn't do it before. And then it failed. And then I go, hey man, not what I want.

Yeah, exactly. So I think we just gotta get happier. Oh, so you know what I don't like either? You're driving by the Viper room with some friend from out of town. Sure. And they go, is that where River Phoenix died? No.

It happened the other day to me. So long ago. It happened the other day. And then you gotta pull over and take a photo with the guy, you know what I mean? Exactly where you're in, I mean. And I love, what a great talent. And I'm so sorry, Joaquin, go ahead.

I did a film with Joaquin. Oh, you, oh yeah, Joker too. Your explanation of that fucking, that day is so fucking. Well, yeah, and you know, listen, I'm. It's so funny. I'm grateful for the opportunity. Were you nervous? It was so nerve wracking because he's like the best actor

of our time, right? Of all time. One of them. One of them, yeah. And then I'm not. You know what I mean? I'm not terrible, but I'm really not. We're good for comics.

I'm not in the conversation. I'm never in the mix. I'm never in the mix. No, the Daniel Day-Lewis, him? It's not me. Yeah, yeah. You're better than Snow White. I'm better than her, yeah. I'm absolutely...

Look how good I am in this. Push pause, push pause. By the way, I actually want you to review this and tell me if I'm good. You've done more acting than me. Don't lie to me. Tell me if I'm good. Okay. We can't hear. I told you before, I've set up an exclusive interview next month.

Okay. I've seen enough. What are you telling me? I'm not. You only said one line. I've seen enough. He wants to show you. Let's review.

Push pause. Hey Flack, can you sign my book? Yeah. Pretty good. It's not bad. Yeah, yeah. Natural. I mean, Mark Maron would have done better.

It only took. Oh, let me just give you a list of- I wish he did this. Yeah, the Mark Mar, Mark Maron would have done better. It only took. Oh, let me just give you a list of- I wish he did this. Yeah, the Mark Maron and Santana would have done better. By the way, I wish they both did the movie. Yeah, fortune films are way better. Dude, she would have been too goofy.

Oh, you think so? Yeah, but not, I don't think she would have done the movie. Dude, you also look completely different. You transform. They made me look different. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, that's what acting is. That's exactly it. Exactly what acting is. Is, yeah. Well, that's what acting is. That's exactly it. Exactly.

Is that what acting is? That's what acting is. Oh my God. It's actually acting. They never taught me that in class. Look at this, look how good I'm doing right now. That's him. Now look how scared I look.

Look, I bite my lip because I'm scared. Oh wow, that's amazing. That's a good choice. Yeah. And it only took 30 or 40 takes to get that. Yeah, what was, okay, let's push pause. What was that like? Because in my mind, if I'm like,

you know, because I come from the open mic system. Ghetto, ghetto, ghetto. So did I. There's no glitz to it. Yeah, yeah. And then finally one day they ask you to do something and you show up. And it's, because I've been on movies this big

or where it's a big to do, there's a huge crew. It's a huge deal. It's a huge deal. You have a guy just, you know what I mean, this way, this way, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's a whole thing. It's a whole fucking thing, and it's like, and you're nervous.

Yeah, so nervous. I was so, I called my agent going, I shouldn't be here. I know, me too, I do the same thing. Yeah, I do, and he's like, everyone calls and says that. When I was in the dictator, I told my handler, I don't I do the same thing. And he's like, everyone calls and says that. When I was in The Dictator, I told my handler, I go, I don't think I can do this. Yeah, I was like, I don't know if I'm good for this. And then I did it, ended up being fine.

But it is nerve wracking. Because these guys, like Joaquin's brilliant. He is. Brendan Gleason's brilliant. Oh my god, amazing. You're in a scene with them. And you're in a scene with these two guys. And this is like the first scene I've done in any movie.

Well, except for your head getting chopped off. But that was after this. This came out later, because they edited it for two years. Oh, so that was your first movie. It was the first scene I've ever done. Oh my god, they edited it. And it's Joaquin Phoenix and Brendan Gleeson. I've never done a scene at all,

and that's the first one I do. And you know, I mean, I carried it a little. I think that's seen, yes. I think that part of it is me carrying it and putting them on my back and walking around. I wouldn't go that far, but very good. Have you seen Gaga in that? It's a big mess.

She made a big mess. I know she did. She did. She did. I don't like this. And then you, during the shooting, do you think it was gonna be that bad though or not? We all thought.

You really thought? We all knew. No way. You know. I thought Borderlands was gonna be a hit. They did. Yeah, I thought it was gonna be a great movie. Did you really?

No. No, I don't, but here's why I don't believe you. I almost got that role. I know you did. You guys auditioned for that. I tried really hard. No, no. No, no, it's not that when I was always for the same role and he got Said no, no you know you Russian the Russian guy. Yeah, so um when I was in Budapest and I met Eli he the first thing he came I was like Tim. Oh Tim almost got this movie. I was like, oh fuck He's right with you.

I did it. Yeah, yeah. And then they said, they said we went with someone else and I went, okay, thank you. And then, by the way. What with his childhood friend? He went to, grew up with. But here's the other thing.

It is funny because that movie ate it. So it would, Borderlands didn't do good. Yeah, it did. So it would be funny if I was in Joker. I don't know, and Borderlands. I think God saved you it would be funny if I was in Joker. And Borderlands. I think God saved you. You think he saved you? I think it was good to not be in two bombs.

Studio bombs, massive studio bomb. Massive loss of income for people. I mean, I've never been in anything that's like, I've guest starred on things that were pretty good, but it's like, I've never been in like a movie or that was a hit or whatever It's so hard. Here's what I thought we were in Joker and we're sitting there in the scene. This the sets amazing Well, I got 10% what a joker. What do you think Joker to go? Let's see if you beat it 7% 17% Tim wins 31% Oh

But dad those people are crazy Lock those people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're sitting on set. They built the Arkham Asylum. It's fucking amazing. Amazing. And we're sitting there making it rain.

They're doing all this crazy stuff. Yeah. And then we hear Joaquin go, For once in my life, I have someone who needs me Someone who needs me and I remember and and I just look at the guy next to me. Yeah, and we went oh no Wow, I would have done the same immediately. We're like this is not at all what anybody who was a fan of that first movie Yeah, wanted to see yeah. Yeah, it's an odd choice that first movie wanted to see. Yeah, it's an odd choice.

It's an odd choice. Yeah, and this is, I mean, usually I don't like executives getting involved, but somebody, I really don't. I think they didn't like the fan base of the first movie. They thought it attracted like incels or whatever, politically volatile people, and they said maybe if in the next movie

we make it like a gay show tunes musical, that will make people want that. Well, incels deserve movies as well. Well, for sure. Crazy Rich Asians for Asians? That's a great movie. Dead Presidents for Black People? Bro, that's one of my favorite movies, Crazy Rich Asians.

Yeah, they wouldn't even see me for the movie. Let's not bring it up. I'm sorry about that. There's a lot of things that they didn't want to see me in. But it is a good story. Yeah. Of rich people in Asia. I've never saw it. Okay, tell me. Explain the movie to me because I've never seen it.

Here's what happens. A hot guy meets... I'm a studio exec. You're the writer. Ready? Well, I gotta do the intro. Okay. Who's that? I don't know. You're the writer. Ready? Well, I gotta do the intro. Okay. Who's that? What? I don't know. He is an intern. I'm Chinese. Yeah.

Yes. By the way, I'm Chinese. He intern. I don't know him. Okay. Okay. Excuse me, Mr. Dion. Yes. I would like to hear about your movies.

It's about- Hold on a second, right? Where's your bow? My bow is in. Oh my bao. I thought you meant my bao bun and I was going to say I hate my bao bun. Excuse me, you're in Beijing right now. Yes, yes.

Yeah, yeah, so bao. Okay, thank you. And excuse me, toko. Yes. Yeah, boba, milk tea from him. Me, I want fried shrimp, sweet and sour. Yes, I will have some of the shrimp as well. Wait, so what, white rice? Okay, more white fried shrimp, sweet and sour. Yes, I will have some of the shrimp as well.

So white rice. Okay, more white rice. White people like white rice. Okay, anyway, bye bye. Okay, bye bye. Bye bye, Toto. I don't want to hear you say no no. He got a good movie script for you.

You buy, okay? Oh, you pitch it to him for, what the fuck? I tell him a little bit. Wait, in the lobby? You pitch it to him in the lobby. In the lobby, you pitch it to him in the Robbie? Good, you buy, you buy. I'll buy if I like.

No, you buy. How about you buy milk tea, you buy fucking shrimp. Anyway, get the fuck out of here. Go ahead. Sorry. It's a live read room. This reminds me of a Chinese restaurant in New York City where when a black person comes in they go, you pay now.

It's very racist. Okay, here we, here we. Crazy, yeah, crazy. I say the way I say. Rich, crazy. Crazy, rich. Rich. Asia.

Asia, okay, very good, very good. And it's about a man who needs a woman. And they're both really good looking. I've been trying to, oh my, I don't see any. No, they're almost white. That's what's good about this. I'll put the note down. Almost white.

Almost white, there's a tiny kiss evasion. Oh, oh so it's Keanu Reeves? He's like that. He's almost white, almost a little kiss. It's a little zest. They use the tongue. And then. a little zest. They use the tongue. And then, they use the tongue. And they use the tongue.

The tongs. Oh, tongue, oh, tongue. And the tongue. Yeah, yeah, okay, I like this guy. Yes, see, he could be Cuban. Oh, that's right. He could be Cuban, and that's what's good, but he's actually Asian.

Yeah, of course, I thought that guy was the kid, remember the kid from the 90s where he was the tub. Yes. Yes, you know, what's his name? Yeah Elon Musk Musk it don't break character Anyway, tell me what that story I don't care about we're casting later casting later. He's rich. Oh here he is. He's really rich You're crazy too, huh? No, no, no. He's not crazy. Oh, he's not crazy.

He's not crazy. He's the rich part. Yes, he's rich. Yeah. But no Asian. And he goes on a date with a woman who's poor, but Asian poor. What kind of poor? Very well educated.

What kind of Filipino? And she's doing, well, no, no, no. Not that. What the fuck? poor but not but Asian poor meaning I know poor very well educated Filipino and she's doing well no no no not that we're not gonna make movies with us that's she's look at my sign on the wall yeah no Filipino allow okay go ahead hey man oh I'm sorry just you know my yeah my wife you know my wife? You know my wife? What the fuck man? What the fuck? Coco? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, you know what? You put her in a basket. Yeah. You spin spin.

Yeah. You get hot. Yeah. Wine, very good at that. That's good. Anyway, Coco, go back in the cage. Now look at her. Oh my Lord!

Now listen to me, that is an Asian person. 100% Asian, oh my God. I can't believe it either. The AI or oh no. She's a white woman who's tired. Oh, oh. She's got a red-eye fright. That's how Asian she is.

Or maybe she look at the eclipse or the sun or something. She burn her eyes with sun. Now here we're starting to get more Asian. What the fuck is a this? Well this is funny, comedy. Oh that's a, oh. Comedy funny. I guess. Now we get crazy. This is crazy. What the fuck is that? Well, this is funny comedy. Oh, that's a comedy funny I guess now we get crazy. Oh, yes. Look at him. Now. He's crazy. He's crazy

And then what do we got here? Well to the left you have funny funny funny on the back. Yeah. Yeah black Black Little black and buck-buck is her line and then hot hot accomplished accomplished Cuban Cuban Very good sold 200 million. No. Yeah $4,300 Very good. Thank you so much. I write oh you also know the script

Very nice, so this that's what's about it's a rich Asian guy meets a poor Asian never seen it No, I was he refuses. It's actually a really good movie because I have a beautiful home and it's fun and it's good Are you being real with me, dude? I'm dead serious. Oh, I've said it three times. It's actually not a bad movie. So then is it better than my fat Greek wedding? Here's why it's not. Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Not when I'm drinking, okay. So tell me why it's not. Here's why it's not.

Yeah. The fat Greek wedding is just a big disgusting There's only one fat lady right it doesn't matter. Okay. Okay. They're heinous people. Yeah furry and the food's good cream foods good You love food, but the food's good, but the Asian food is good, too but it's true what what what crazy rich Asians is good because old Asian ladies will But what crazy rich Asians just could because old Asian ladies will get very serious in the middle of it And they'll pull someone to them and go into my country We have a tradition right and then they make a dumpling very quietly. Yeah, you know

There's something intense about that right and beautiful But my big fat creek wedding might be funnier because there's less There's no in there and these Greek ladies are loud when they make baklava. They're loud and they're silly. But the Asians are kind of very serious about it. And they're like, we have a tradition. And they play marjong. Right, or they go...

And they play porhaba. I may watch it when I get home. Porhaba. They're so good. How do we attack porhaba? Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, so you think Greek weddings not as good then? No, I think it's better as a comedy.

I remember, cause I seen it a couple of times. I remember back in the day I liked it, the Greek wedding. Yeah. Yeah. It's fun. But what's your- We need to get back to those. Are you a film guy?

I love films. Really? Bobby. Yeah. Like what? Like what do I think are- Like if I was like from an alien I'm an alien from a different planet Yeah, I come down. I go to my favorite movie and like well, let me act it out. Okay That's me walking, okay, cuz I've been to your house your old house Cause I've been to your house. Your old house.

Yeah. Ooh, that sounds like an alien outside. And then I knock, you open the door. Hi. Oh my God, it's a marshmallow. What? You Asians? Aliens talk like Asians too.

Oh my God, it's a gigantic marshmallow like in Ghostbusters, the first one. But then you would giggle because Asians would love that. Oh yeah. They would love that. We would love that. Yeah. Would love it.

Yeah, yeah. Tell me my friend. Yes. Bop bop bop. You're still walking, right? Yeah, oh I walk and play. Oh, that makes sense. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Also, you're so big I can't get through you. Yes. So I keep walking. It's a scene from Pokemon. Yeah, and your head. Yes. This is your belly. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. And then you ask about films. Tell me about movies. The best movie of your time. Pop five. Yeah. It's be real. Number one, Easter Sunday. Number two, Easter Sunday.

Number three, Easter Sunday. Number four is no um which I love I love my godsend is legitimately Filipino I know and I'm sorry for that joke earlier about the plaque and all that it's actually wrong okay he's also Taiwanese and Chinese okay um well then throw that out first okay top five movies the bird cage is one of the great movie funniest movie one of the best screenplays ever written Nichols in May, Legen. Amazing. Okay, amazing. Casino is one of the best movies.

One of the best movies of all time. Of all time. Maybe not the best, of course, easy movie. No, but of course, but I think that's a great movie. I would go Bean Street, but okay, go ahead. Okay, that's fair. Okay, and we're not Cisco and Lambert. We should have a show like that.

We absolutely should. Number three? Number three, I would say I'm gonna go with Tommy Boy. Classic. Really good movie. Yeah, yeah. As a classic comedy. Yeah, yeah.

In that pantheon of comedies. Doing that Theo Von movie with Dave. Yeah. I mean doing a scene with them. It's wild, right? It's wild. It's kind of like a dream almost. It's a dream. Because you don't feel like you're,

you know, like Joker 2 or Borderlands where you're nervous or whatever. It felt more like we're at a club. You want to have fun. Yeah, and you want to make mistakes. You can make mistakes. You want to do the right thing. Right, and they're like,

just do whatever you want. You know what I mean? I like that. So, Tommy Boy 4. There's an Oliver Stone movie called Nixon, which you've never seen I love Nixon. You've seen it. Of course. I've seen every all really good. So Andy Hopkins is amazing I know I know isn't it Wow, by the way Wow Nixon

Interesting. Okay, by the way. Yeah. Thank you What were you joking with? No, no, I was shocked that you've seen it. I've never seen it. Oh my god Oh my god. What did I lie? I'm a fucking liar dude. My whole life is a lie. No, it's not. Yes. It should come to no surprise Okay, I've never seen any of those movies said um, that's not Casino Burkage and I would say, I would say in the rounding, and this is just off the top of my head, so people.

Yeah, I hope it's from the top of your head. I did prepare. Okay. I would say like number five, I'm gonna go with. ["Shub-A-Five"] Shub-A-Five. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Shopify. Oh my God. We have a business. We have an online business. Yes, we sell merch.

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and start selling today at Shopify.com slash Tiger Belly. Go to Shopify.com slash Tiger Bell go to Shopify.com slash Tiger belly Shopify.com slash Tiger belly Go with Something like I would say something like It's gonna take me an hour I would say something like it's gonna take me an hour I would say I'm like the Dark Knight oh yeah you know what I'll tell you what about the Dark Knight yeah it's because there was so much anticipation for me when you saw

the ads coming out and you know the pre photos Heath Ledger, I thought it was brilliant. I really as good as you can get with that exactly. Yeah, so amazing to me Those are all thought I had five good ones. Yeah Very good. Yeah, so there's you know, if the Cullen Brothers I Do I was just off the top? All right. Yeah, I mean Rais raising in Arizona would be one of them I mean if you haven't seen that movie defending your life with Albert Brooks is oh my god. I love that scene is one of yeah Very very good not Meryl Streep Julie Haggerty doesn't matter. No, wait

No, oh defending your life. You're right. I'm lost in America. I'm talking about you're right defending your life is brilliant Sorry, but I'm doing a trick on you. That was a trick? That was a trick. Oh, what a trick. Wow. You rabble-roser. Wow.

That's a trick. Wow, I'm dizzy now. Jesus Christ. That's a good movie. You have no idea what the fuck you're talking about. I was wrong. It was so stupid. I'm sorry, I was wrong. You know, like E talking about. I was wrong. It was so stupid. I'm sorry.

I was wrong. You know, like ET. I'm sorry. Schindler's List. Schindler's List is a really good movie. It's really good. It's so good. It's sad.

It's sad. Isn't it sad? Well, yeah. It's like the saddest movie. Yeah. I've ever seen. Yeah, very, very sad. Yep. To some. It's sad to me. movie I've ever seen. Yeah, very, very sad. Yep.

To some. It's sad to me, special coming out on Netflix April 15th. It is the saddest, very sad, and it happened. I watched Schindler's List, and this might seem extreme, once every two to three days, to just remind myself of man's inhumanity to man. Yeah. Some people might say it's too much.

I love Holocaust movies in general. I never get enough of them. They make what, 12 a year? All of them I consume. I bust out my lube. Even the new ones where it's not even about the Holocaust, it's about someone having a shrimp cocktail near the Holocaust. Oh yeah.

What was that movie? The family that lived near the Holocaust. Yeah, yeah. What was that movie? I forget. What did they call it? It just came out... It just came out... I talked 10 minutes and I was like, I can't watch this. Yeah, no, it's just the Holocaust is going on in the background and they're having like tea. Imagine having sex with your wife and you're hearing the background. Yeah, I forget what it's called. It's not The Brutalists, right?

No, no, no, it's called... You like that baby? I was like... It's something else. I don't know. It's about the Holocaust, but not... Yeah, it's about the Holocaust. I want more movies like that where the Holocaust is going on, but it's more about people having a lunch in a courtyard. Right. Or maybe like, I know a good story, maybe opening up a yogurt land. Yeah. Like you and I are opening up a yogurt land near Oshawa. Yes. Right. And we don't have to see we're fighting about flavors. We're arguing about flavors. Yeah. Yeah.

And you even say to me, you go, there's a Holocaust going on. We shouldn't fight like this. Yeah. Yeah. And then I go, you know what? Yeah. This is important too. And that's the pivotal moment. How about this? I'm you realize you're like, oh, what we're doing is important.

Right. We can only control what we control. The here and now matters. Right. And it's a big pivotal moment in the movie. Or maybe you're like, you know, you can't do that flavor. And I'm like, well, I think, you know, munch, football, bagel, yogurt. And you're like, right now, I don't think the timing's wrong. I'm going to commit to this flavor, dude. Right. That's a good point. We could have a little funny scene with that.

We could have a funny scene. Super funny scene. I think it's a great idea. I think it's a great idea. Yeah, thank that. We could have a funny scene. Super funny scene. I think it's a great idea. I think it's a great idea. Yeah, thank you. We will write it up. It's not a bad idea. Yeah.

Were there yogurt lands back then? I don't know. No. Or maybe Pinkberry. Whatever. Something. Yeah, something like that. The self-serve frozen yogurt trend during the Holocaust isn't a parable.

You know what I mean? Yeah. It's not a bad idea. Because there is something about, like it's whispered tones, because that's what all these movies are that are Holocaust adjacent. So someone comes in and they're putting the graham cracker on their original tart flavor.

And we go into them and we go, it's horrible what's happening. And they go, yes it is. And then you put a cherry on it. Right. Because that's what it, it's just the Holocaust. Cherry can like divert your attention to happiness, I think.

Of course. You know what I mean? You're like, oh my uncle, my uncle's, and then put a cherry on it and go, wow man, did you see Casablanca or whatever? I don't know if Casablanca was around back then. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Two SS officers come in.

Okay, oh, oh, you're gonna Mozart it, you're gonna make it better. We're very, we're very, this is the writer we hired. We're very conflicted, we're very conflicted about serving them yogurt. And we have a fight in the back and you go, what they're doing, you know what they're doing

and they wanna come in here and have yogurt. And I go, everyone has the right to yogurt. Everyone. Wow. Wow. And you know what, you go, you know what, you're right. I think you're right. You're right.

Well, because in the movie, I would be Japanese. You're Japanese. So I'm kind of, you mean? You're Japanese. Well, the Japanese and Germany at that time were allies. I'm pretending to not be Jewish, but I'm actually Jewish. That's great. It's actually amazing.

Right. And then at the end, you pull, you rip my shirt and you see the Jewish star and you go, I knew it. Right. I knew it. And then what do I do? I can't sabotage it. We're best friends.

No, we're friends. And we're also lovers in it. We're lovers in it. Lovers in it. And it's like, I'm in love with you. And then you go, you go, you go, you go, you go to the camps, you fat bitch. This is the end.

Wait, I say that? Well, you say that, but you have to deliver it in a very, you gotta nail it. Wait, so you go to the camp, you fat bitch? Yes, but I have after doing the Japanese accent. Yeah. Well, then you go to camp, you fat bitch! Yes.

And then I go, and then I go, and then I go, gladly. Credits. And then credits. And then I walk out powerfully. No, cause yours is black and white and you're red. Powerfully, I walk out powerfully. Credits. And then the credit. And then I walk out powerfully. No, because you're black and white and you're red. Powerfully, I walk out. You're wearing a red dress or something, yeah. And I walk out.

And I walk out. And you don't really know what happened, but you think that I voluntarily went to the death camp, which was like the most badass thing ever. Right. It's like badass. Can I put like a part two in there? You get to the camp, they can't fit you into the gas.

What they do is they, right, so they go, we're gonna build a bigger one, you know what I mean, we're gonna keep them alive. I suck off all of the guards. Oh, right. Or the whole. Protein. The whole army. You survive with that. I suck off the entire army.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then Hitler brings me to Argentina because I was so good. And I suck off Hitler. So when he escaped. He lived in Argentina. He did. He lives in Argentina for 20 years.

Yeah, yeah. And I suck off and then literally I bump into you down the road, this is years later, you're on a family vacation. You've gone straight now. While I'm hiding my gay. Yes, you're hiding your gay. You're in a bar and I You've gone straight now. Well, I'm hiding my gay. Yes, you're hiding your gay.

You're in a bar, and I'm in a bar. In Argentina. In Argentina. In Argentina, and you go, I can't believe you're alive. You fat bitch, you went to the kid. And I go, I've been sucking off Hitler for 20 years. 20 years. And then it's over.

Then it's credits. I think it'd be more, can we just do more of a like a Bridge over Madison County is that the word movie River Kwai that no not River Kwai. No Madison County is the boring one Oh, yeah, is that the one bridges of Madison County? What is it with eight Clint Eastwood? Yeah, we should it's about unrequited love so when you're I'm with my Japanese family yeah right yeah and there's a bar with a swastika swastika yes right but then maybe a circle and no to on right because you're trying to rebrand okay right I'm like hey Hitler's trying to rebrand brand Hitler's rebrand yeah and I would well

Hitler's rebrand is a great idea yeah that's a third movie. Where is Ted Sarada? Let's sit him down. Let's sit him down. Yeah, yeah. And let, can you imagine him at a table just, and it's just me and you talking? And he's just like this, he's like, and I go, and I go, and then I go, I've been sucking off Hitler for 20 fucking years. Yeah. And he goes, yeah. Okay. Okay. But let me pitch my idea. So you're in there sounds like another Bordelands movie Sometimes you're on I'm listening to your movie. Yeah. Yeah Let me just pitch this idea dude, and I walk by the window. I see you sucking off Hitler. Yes, right? Yes, and I look Inside like with through the with my hands on the window, I see you sucking off Hitler. Yes. Right? Yes.

And I look inside, like through the window, my hands on the window, right? A tear. Single tear, yeah. Right? And a little shake with my hand. Yeah. Right?

And then you, you're sucking, but then you look, right? We lock eyes. Yeah. You have a tear. Right. But we never see each other again. I just walk in. Interesting. And in my tear, you just see the swastika

light in the bar. Dude, you zoom in. You zoom in. And there's a reflection in your tier of the swastika. That's right. But with a circle that says no too. That's right. Right, right, right.

So Ted. Ted, what do you think? Ted. He might let us do it. Yeah, he let us do it. He might let us do it. Let's go back to your family. I forgot how we got it. Oh right, I forgot that was about my family.

I think it went for 30 minutes. I forgot that question was, you have a family. I forgot that was the question. Because it ended with me sucking off Hitler in Argentina. Of wild. And yeah, no, I didn't realize it that start. Okay, sorry. I'm Irish. If you did suck off Hitler, you think he would like it?

I don't know. Is it hard? You know, it's a blow job and he's Hitler. But there are good ways to do it. Oh, that's a good boy. I don't know. It's like he's saying, it's anal, but it's magneto. Okay, no. Don't look at me. That's what it sounded like to me.

Anyway, what do you mean? Like Hitler is jaded? I just mean that like he's been through a lot. Yeah. A joy or hardship? He's jaded? I just mean that like he's been through a lot. Yeah, a joy or hardship. He had a very tough go of it. Right, you think so? Well, he contributed to it. Yeah, right.

With his actions. Exactly. And words. Exactly. Actions more. You make a mess of life sometimes. Like I think when Hitler was sitting in Argentina, he probably said, I've made a mess of this.

Yeah, probably moments of him just like this Yeah It would have been wild Had he been maybe really well adjusted in my happy there, right? But he's got he's human So there's got to be moments. It's like So many so many yeah too many he's had a hard decision to make, you know? Okay, explain to me what that means. Better defend yourself, buddy.

Yeah, can I ask you something? Has there ever been a Mexican tyrant? Yes, has there ever been one that is? Because China, we had Genghis Khan, he was a tyrant. Is it like the cartel or not really? No, we let the people live. Like, yeah, yeah, we'll explore it. Go ahead. The Mexican cartel is not that it's bad, but not as bad as Hitler. No, of course not. We're not. Yeah, we're not saying they don't have decisions like Hitler. Okay. He had a choice. Yeah, they do several people's heads though

Oh, yeah, the behead people. Yeah Why that to send a message? Okay, don't give me head get it. Yeah Where is the wife Where is that? No, I'm kidding. Yeah I love, I watch cartel stuff all the time. I think it's great. It's crazy. It's crazy, I think many of them have got a bad rap, to be honest.

Do you know that website, gore.com? I've never done that, what is that? Right when the internet started, there was the, you remember that? Is it like Live Leak? It was worse. Wow. It would show like motorcycle accidents in Thailand

Right, you know some guy just severed from the head and his hand is up up in a fucking Do you think white lotus kind of blue because it was in Thailand? Let's be honest Right, I didn't only saw the first episode so I haven't seen that. Too many fruit flies right? There's like bugs in here Yeah, yeah, I know Why is there so many bugs here today? No idea. Is there food? I know there's no food. There's no real papaya. Yeah. Yeah, I know why is there so many bugs here today? No, I do know is there food and there's no food. I real papaya. Yeah. Yeah, it's weird. I'm so sorry guys It's okay. We just move on because the camera can't catch that So you could have just let it go No, I just say that he has it like a little twitch or something, Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, I'm ignore me. Go ahead

No, I'm talking. Oh, I'm not talking. Yeah, yeah, you read a Thailand. No, no Is there a good cartel thing? I should watch it cuz you're a killer. Yeah, we tell doc or a killer cartel movie. Yeah doc Cartel land Do you know anybody you know, but it MS 13 people no, you know anybody to that's. That's a good one. That's a big one. Do you know any MS-13 people? No. You don't know anybody? Two. That's a different country.

It's all different country. Oh, so there's no Mexican MS-13? No. There's Mexican mob. There's Mexican mafia. Okay, okay. And then there's different cartels. Yeah, and little towns in Mexico.

Little towns, Calisco, what is that? Jalisco. Jalisco. Jalisco, yeah. They got it. They get it going Yeah, they're gonna come and then there's anti wanna and T1 and the chapeau comes from Sinaloa Is that right? So Sinaloa is big. I want to go to Mexico City, dude It's one of the most beautiful cities in the restaurants. I food's great. Have you come to pooh yo or no? Pujol pooh yo I have

Be your honest opinion about it because I think about it every night. It's great. It really is. Yeah. Because they have Damien, the same owner, downtown. Is it different than Damien? I think Pujol is better. Wow.

Pujol's here actually, this month. Where? Damien, they're cooking out of Damien this month. Much of this March? month. This March? April. We're in April right now? Yeah. Can we make reservations?

Have you been to Shenzhen? No, fuck off. No, Bobby. Don't make up shit. I'm not making up shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, Shenzhen. What is Shenzhen?

Bobby. What is it? It's a restaurant. What is it in Mexico City? Yeah, right. It's No, Shen Chun Shin. What is Shen Chun Shin? Bobby. What is it? It's a restaurant. What is it? In Mexico City? Yeah, right. It's the top restaurant right now, Shen Chun Shin. In Mexico City?

It's in Studio City. Oh, really? It's in LA. Oh, so it's the Shen Chun Shin. It's called Shen Chun Chang. I don't even know. Are you being real or not? Yes.

Okay, how about this? It's called Shen Chun. I think you're making fun of me. Bobby, no one's making fun of you. I don't really like it. It's the top rated restaurant in LA. The timing's weird. It's called Shen Chen Chen.

You sing it different every time. No, it's not. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's called... It's called gook gook gook. It's like what? It's called Shen Chen Chen. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's good. The chef is famous. All right, then prove it to me. I'll take you anytime you want. By making a reservation next week. I'll make it right now. And you and I are going to go to I'll make it right now.

I'll call Shin-chan Jin right now. I'll call it right now. Because this is bullshit, dude. No, it's not. Yeah, it is. Shin-chan Jin. It's gotta be real, huh? If it's not Shin-chan Jin, if it is,

welcome to Arby's I'm gonna be What's today Next Wednesday next Wednesday We get that's why I'm gonna answering because no if there's there's gotta be a fucking voice. I hate- A message. Just go- They don't- Hot, fresh, crust, don't answer. Keep going! Keep going!

Okay, I'll call them back. What's the name? I'm calling them back. What's the name one more time? It's so hard for me to- It's Shen-shin-shen. Why don't we know what it is? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Shut up! It's fucking bullshit, though. It's not bullshit! It's not bullshit. Okay, hold on. Just- I'm calling them again. But leave it to the voice. I want to see if they're welcome to hi. Hi. Hi Hi, they know me. I'm there all the time. This is a restaurant. This is Shenzhen Sun

I would like a reservation on Wednesday next Wednesday at 530 for four people. Is that good? Thank you so much. What's the restaurant called? What's the restaurant called? Shenzhen Sun, right? Shenzhen Sun. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Check that. Yo, check that.

They don't want people having their number. But literally... Bobby, can you apologize to me right now? Oh my god. Bobby, please you apologize to me right now? Oh my god. Bobby, please. I can't believe it. You accused me of being racist. It's the best restaurant in the studio city.

I can't believe it. It's so good. I go all the time. The spicy wonton soup. That's not right. It is, Bobby. There's no chili. Bobby, they have fried shrimp ice cream and they give you a sticker at the end.

Oh, they do? And it's a sunflower. Okay. All right, so we'll go. I'll go, we're going Wednesday. Next Wednesday. I have the reservation from that Chinese man who is. We're the other two.

The Chinese man. We're the other two. I think we should take less privileged, underprivileged, less fortunate people. just the people that we see and who should bring I There's a kid that works at the conference. I think he's open for you before his name is Luke. Yeah, he's fun. Bring him He'll go he's also young and poor. He's poor and then there's another one with the big hair. I like him Oh, Joey, yes, he's got a White and he made fun of last night. Yes, He looks like a muppet. Bring him.

Shen Shun Sen. Yeah, Shen Shun Sen. Those two boys. It's pretty good. Yeah, and they're gonna be in awe. Will they be in awe? They're gonna be, why are we having Dylan with Tim Dylan and Bobby Lee?

I know, they're gonna be like, how are we there? But when they have the ube pudding. At the Chinese restaurant. Yeah, because it's actually fusion. It's actually fusion. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's actually fusion. Yeah, it's actually It's actually when they have the jambalaya What that's from New Orleans and not Asian and the stroganoff I'm gonna tell you right now

What the fuck are you talking about Bobby? It's fusion because a lot right now. It's about solidarity. It's not about differences Okay, so you like fusion. I don't want to commit to one thing. I like all the different things. They have edamame Okay, missy move. Yeah, but he's okay. Yeah, they do and they have sushi sometimes do you Korean food? Of course, I do. What's your favorite in Korea time? Gossi gopchang. I love it for late night. It's great late night, but I have to take it to Chosun. I'd love to go to Chosun. You'll love it. I'd love to. Okay. And after I take you to Chenchenchan. Oh, you take me to Chenchenchan, right? Okay. That's what it sounds like. Puppy. Yeah. Puppy. Puppy. It's actually a good restaurant. When we're sitting here, you're going to go, oh,

this is actually crazy. Would you say it's the top five restaurants in LA? It's right now it's the top five because it's so hard to get a reservation. Oh, good, good, good, good, good. They know me. Yeah, do you like Bestia? Bestia is one of the best restaurants, Michelin star restaurants, phenomenal scallops,

very good. Yeah. There's an attitude there where sometimes you wanna walk in and hit them with a bat. Exactly, yeah, yeah, yeah. And you go, hi guys, I don't know if you know this, but you're slinging pasta and you're slinging in the middle of Skid Row and you're gonna die in the street alone like a dog.

Okay, so the agent's not calling back, the manager's not calling back, there are no auditions, the thing you're doing now is what you'll always do, get the pizza and shut up. But I do love best yet, I'm kidding, but it's no Shenzhen son. Really? It's not? You got Shenzhen Sun. Really? Yeah, maybe new rule.

Don't say that again. It just hurts me when you say it. Okay. Because I feel like you're accentuating it. It's no good fusion restaurant that I like. Okay, good. It's real. I've seen him call it.

Yeah, I believe him. And then said the call ID, he said, Qin Chengsheng. Oh, he actually got, he was a little more racist. Yeah, he really was. He made it way more racist. A little more racist. Way more racist. Let's be honest.

That was very, that was really racist, but I get it. Yeah. There's a city called Qin Chengcheng. Where? Well, I don't. Where would that city be? In Magaland. Wait, it's weird, look at them. Yeah. What? It's real, look at them. What?

It's in like in China. It's a city, it's a cyberpunk. Why are you looking at us? How do you spell it? It's Chongqing. It's not Ching Chong Chong. I didn't say Ching Chong Chong. We have to be very careful here because some of it is coming off racist.

It's not. OK, good. OK. And the city. All right. Anyway, OK, we believe you, dude. Thank you. Right. So what else is a good place? The Hobbit Tavern. Do you what's your favorite Italian? Austria, Maza, Nancy Silverton. Oh, yeah. Highland and Melrose.

I know. Yeah. She's really nice. Yeah. Yeah. Fennelman. Really? Well, yeah. She's really nice. Yeah. Yeah. Friend of mine. Really? Well yeah. You know what's strange about you, is everyone seems to know you. I know a lot of people.

I know, but not just fans. Yeah. High up people. Some people do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How'd you? Sucking Hitler off. When you suck Hitler off, people come up to you

and it's an easy conversation. Because when you had your... Let me ask you a question. You're partying. Yeah, your party is. That you invited me to. Yeah. I mean, how do you know... What's Bruce Jenner's name?

Caitlyn Jenner. Caitlyn Jenner. Well, Caitlyn's a very fascinating person. She is. Yeah. And I love her. That Netflix documentary about her, I think it's a... I like someone like that who really just says,

hey, this is what I'm about. Yeah, I like. But how do you meet somebody like that? You know, we had a mutual friend who said you guys would get along, and we got along and she came to the Christmas party. That's amazing. She's a really cool, fun, free spirit.

Yeah. You know? There's a lot of people that were, I like your parties because it felt really comfortable. There's cool people. It's a nice mix of like some industry, some writers, you know what I mean, different kinds of people. Yeah, yeah, it's cool people.

It's like, it's like Caitlyn Jenner. And you, and my agent. It's a group. By the way, I mean, this is actually, you should actually be embarrassed. I mean, you should actually be embarrassed. Yeah, I'm fucking so embarrassed. You're right, you're absolutely right.

So he got a text from the restaurant saying that. Confirms the restaurant. Yeah, I think what it is is um I'm fucking good It is but there's certain ways to say certain words. Let's just say that Okay, I didn't mean to say it the way I said it and I have to sit with that and believe and I have to be With myself because outside when you saw Gilbert come up. You're like what kind is that or something? Well because I didn't know if he wanted me to do a traditional greeting. I was trying to be nice. He's just an American guy.

What the fuck? It doesn't matter. What kind is that? Remember in White Lotus, how when they all come off the thing and everyone stands and greets? Oh. I was doing, I thought it was that.

Oh yeah, it's not that. I thought it was that. It's not that, it's not that. I thought it was that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's the opposite of that. I thought it was that it's not that it's not that I thought it was that yeah Yeah, it's the opposite of that. Yeah, I thought it was that yeah, okay um Trying so hard to find this restaurant Good me like well. Here's why you're not gonna find it online is because exclusive spots, and I'm not trying to offend anyone

It's not like chilies calm Right right right when a great chef has a pop-up restaurant in LA, they don't put it online so that they can field millions of calls. They soft launch it to very reputable people. So whenever these things occur, these soft launches or little boutiquey things that pop up, could you invite me to those?

I would love to. I would love to. But you never do. I just did. You never fucking do. I just did. Because I fucking put you in a corner. I invited you because I thought it was gonna be and I still think it's gonna be a great evening. Oh, it's gonna be a wonderful evening. Yeah, especially with those two boys. It's gonna be fun. Men I mean. Sorry about that. Yeah, and thanks for doing my show last night.

Of course. Yeah, but do you have a watch? Of course. Yeah, but do you have a watch? Well, you know you said 915 Yeah, that's what I thought the show was I didn't know that was my spot if you look at the tax I said what time tonight and you stand 15. I should have thought that was my spot I thought that's in the shut you the lineup I'm sorry. Well, thank I thank thank God. I was able to follow the rest of the people there I show up to a show which was to be a stand-up show. I walk into the showroom. There's three white ladies with acoustic guitars. I didn't love it either.

And a man singing. They're singing some sort of mama and papa, you know what I mean? Hippie shit, right? And it freaked me out. Oh, Ireland. Oh, Ireland. What was it? No one in the audience is Irish, no one in LA is Irish. And they're up there just going,

oh, higher line. Oh, higher line. And the people in the audience are like, wide-eyed, like what is this? And they're like, have you ever been to higher line? I go to higher line. And me and him are, we just feature. I was in the back.

Same for us. We like a very similar type of audience and we don't really want the Indigo Girls. My instinct was to leave. But it ended up being a great show and we love Greg. We love Greg and I apologize to Greg many times already. I'm a flake and you are too. But that's what makes us great.

It does? I'll be. I'll be. You gotta own it. I'm a flake, I'm a liar. Let's, you know what? For once in my life, let me own my own. Own it. All right. I'm a flake.

I'm a liar. I'm a bitch. I'm a mother. I'm a sinner. I'm a saint. I will not be ashamed. I'm your hell. I'm your dreams.

Sometimes I masturbate with three fingers. So what? My bad. No, you're good. I get a bitter grip. That's right. My bad. I get a bitter grip. I get a bitter grip. I get a bitter grip. I get your dreams sometimes. I masturbate with three fingers so what?

My bad. No, I get a better grip. That's right my bad. Yeah, yeah What else am I I mean, but there are some good things about me. I'm sober. I try to help people generous Yeah, you're a good guy. Just to generosity. Yeah, like last night you know we did my new joke night, and I met this kid on this movie. I did a couple weeks ago and You started the movie we were talking on set We're in Oklahoma City, and he mentioned that he was curious about doing stand-up So I go go up on my new joke night, and he showed up Went up first. Oh man, and he was not nervous at all. I was I that's a sociopath

That's a sociopath. That's a full on sociopath. Actors, a lot of them are full on sociopaths. Yeah, yeah. He was up there like, hey, you know, just not shaking. Hey everybody, I'm a sociopath. What's going on? I watched my little sister drown and felt nothing. Anyway, I'm at one of the most famous clubs in the world with a huge comedian giving me an opportunity and I'm not fazed. I'm completely unfazed. Who could put somebody in a gas chamber? I could because I'm a Nazi sociopathy. Right.

Were you nervous the first time? Yeah. Yeah, petrified. I'm nervous now. When I get up on your show last night, I'm like, I hope this goes well. Yeah, yeah. Because I'm like, it's Bobby. Should I want it to do well?

It was a new joke. nothing you could have done wrong yep Bobby would have been wrong how did he do he didn't get huge laughs but he wasn't fazed by it which is right but I had a guy I had a guy who's a friend of mine who's an actor he was at American Comedy Code me in San Diego and he goes let me just get up for you did five minutes didn't get any laughs and he didn't care he walked off stage and went, that went well, that was kinda cool, because, I'm gonna say it again, they are sociopaths. They do not, they're not,

cause like what he's doing as an actor, he's going, I'm a stand up comedian tonight. It doesn't matter if they laugh, I'm this thing now. And then tomorrow he goes, I'm a cop. You know what that means? I'm a detective. That makes sense. I'm a detective. That makes sense. Because he's sitting in a thing and he overhears a conversation he goes I bet that actually the you know the killer was and then he's a detective right and the next day he's a he'll put on a cowboy hat and he's a folksy you know these I know these Woody Guthrie.

Right. I know these actors, they LARP as like working class guys, like they'll build like a table. Yeah. And they're like, I like building tables. And like one of them said to me, he goes, I can't believe you live in like the Beverly Hills area. I go, yeah.

He goes, I like to be like out of it. I don't like to be in it. I said, call your agent and quit. Yeah. My cousin works at Wendy's in Pennsylvania. If you really want to be out of it, go there. Go there. Yeah.

In Chapel Rowan, I don't want to be famous. Go work at Wendy's. Right. That's what she used to do. I hate when they say that shit. She goes, I hate being famous. I go, then go work at Wendy's. By the way, you get a lot of privacy at Wendy's.

Yeah. It's almost like you're not alive. That's how much privacy you get at Wendy's. It's like you don't exist. So go to Wendy's and be private or you're going to not do that, win Grammy. One time I was at the cellar, I can't say who it was, but it was a pretty famous guy. And after my set, he grabs me and goes, hey, let's go hang out somewhere, have a cigarette, whatever.

And there was fans, there were people out there waiting in line for the next show or whatever, right? And he was like, I don't want to see people. I don't want to see people.. And there was fans, there were people out there waiting in line for the next show or whatever, right? And he was like, I don't wanna see people, I don't wanna see people, you know what I mean? And he's like, yeah, yeah, like no photographs, I'm uncomfortable about it, it's fame. It's so weird. And it's like, dude, that's why we do it.

Yeah, dude, it's so weird, you gotta be, you know? That's why we do it, you fucking idiot. You dreamt about it, joked off it. So did the actor kid go, thank you so much for having me? Oh, he was so grateful. He was like, can I do it again? That's a psycho. Again?

Yeah, yeah. I went and put him on again. Can I do it again? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was good. It's weird. But not all actors like that, because I know, I've heard of this,

but Meryl Streep gets super nervous. She'll vomit before the day before. She's the greatest actress of all time. Maybe her and the kid in the belly room last night have slightly different constitutions. You know what I mean? Yeah, what do you mean? She's maybe like really good at the thing

and he's like a guy. No, he's a really good actor. Like Meryl Streep is? Well, he's a kid. Exactly. Right. He's not Meryl Streep. But he played Nicole's kid's son in this movie kid. Exactly. Right. He's not Meryl Streep. But he played Nicole Skidman's son in this movie called...

No one cares. Movies are done. Movies have been done. You know what I mean? Enough of that. You and I have that conversation all the time. Enough. Host cards from the edge.

How great's that? Meryl Streep. Yeah. Come on, Charlie McClane. That line. Yeah. Being there. You ever see that?

Great. Who's in it? What? Who's in it? Peter Sellers. Okay, very good. Yeah, yeah, yeah being there you ever see that great Was it what was it Peter Sellers? Okay, very good. I'll be sometimes you think I'm Defending your life. I mean we're gonna talk about at the restaurant. Yeah, yeah all movie talk the whole movie talk Go ahead and change some Sun. Okay. Anyway, I I'm into horror movies. You ever see Let the Right One In? Yeah. What is it? It's a good one.

What is it? Well, what happens is that you have, like, this weird situation that's hard to describe. Yeah, yeah, okay. It's ominous. Yeah. It's two kids. Okay. It's two children. Yeah, yeah.

And... and... You go, did we let the right one in it's that kind of? Right, you know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Here's the thing If you know if the wrong ones in it's all kinds of problems, right? That's the way I feel never thought of it that way. That's the Trump immigration So that's really what they've been doing right now, yeah The answer is no train to been doing right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did we look the right way? The answer is no.

Train to Busan, you see it? Yeah, zombies. There we go, now you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've been to Busan. Killer, killer. Do you like Korean men? Restaurant, I like Asian men, yeah.

I don't know the difference between Korean and another kind. What do you mean? Well, have you dated a Korean man? No, but I don't know the difference between, like if you said to me a Korean man verse a Chinese man or North Korean man. Oh, there's no difference there. Well Bobby. I don't know that It's like East and West Germany. It's actually a huge political difference. There is that true. It's a massive political difference I'd like I find North Koreans are more amenable to me the ones that are living in Korea now What do you mean the ones who are still in North Korea.

I do very well with them. You've never been there. Well, I speak to them online. I speak to them online. Yeah, yeah. North, South. I'm, you know... You're more into the North. I gotta be honest. Well, you want a little leverage.

This person looks like they got it, they're going, they have a great life. Yeah. This is a person who goes. Yeah, I haven't eaten in three weeks. Yeah, he goes, we're going to Craig's. Imagine going there now though. Well, imagine if Trump goes, we got North Korea and you guys are gonna be the first Americans to do any kind of business there.

It'd be amazing. What would you do? I would go. Yogurt land. We would go. Open a yogurt land? We would go do a comedy land. We would go. Open a yogurt land? We would go do a comedy show. Yeah, but what can it,

if he's like, you guys have a year to prop up businesses. Yeah. What would we open there? I think frozen yogurt's a great idea. Yeah, yeah. Poke balls. Right. Poke balls.

Poke balls. You've never had a poke ball. They've never had a poke ball. And then, you know what? We can do a pop-up pooh yo or You need a viral dessert. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. We also karaoke. No, they do that or another. Yeah Yeah, we gotta give America. I know what's a spearmint rhino. Sure. I Fly in LA strippers. Yes, it would blow that guy some country guy

Just sitting that his day would go and then fly into this fucking sky. That's right. Yeah LA strippers yes it would blow that guy some country guy just sitting there his dude would go and it fly into this fucking sky that's right yeah yeah yeah through the woodroof dude I imagine I would be some blonde with fuck oh my god huge tits with the areolas or I mean just have like a clear area like an emaciated starving yeah yeah yeah he had a dumpling a year He's just the cap is over his big right still has a like a bowl of rice on his head balancing amazing, right? I hope that you go pop right through the fucking sky. I hope that's what Trump's get trend. Yeah, I hope we're doing that Yeah, what else who could we um? What you know what I would like to introduce to them any any technology

That can get fuck it up quick Why because we're here to make money and get the fuck out. You're gonna start fighting You want to keep them happy? Let's get them fed first. Okay. Okay, let's get them. All right, right some entertainment some entertainment You know, I mean, let's get him some movie theater. Here's the movie. You know what Othello Rick Denzel and Jake you look Here's the movie. You know what? Othello. Rick Denzel and Jake Gyllenhaal there. Oh, how about Broadway?

How about this? Bill Burr and the... Harry Potter. Wow. Oh, they're just a movie. Yeah. It would blow their minds. It would blow their minds.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. There are wizards. They've never seen a wizard. They have no idea. Yeah. They would go nuts. There's a lot of people, black people. They've never...

But dude, here's what we put up fucking Malcolm X Yeah, if they'll blow their mind. What about this? Joke or two they still know it sucks It's so stupid No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I hate borderlands! We rather the actual border. They go to the DMZ? Wow. Yeah, I love, it's crazy that they're just so isolated, but anyway. It is, but you know what? It's happy, they're happy.

I don't think they are, dude. I think a lot of them are. You don't know what you don't know. Oh yeah, you know what? That's a great, you know what? We gotta start thinking. Love on the spectrum. The new season, do you see the new season?

They're happy. Have you seen the new season? Not a lot. Connor. Connor. Fantastic. When he kisses that girl, I mean, if you haven't seen it, I'm just gonna give you a spoiler. He has his first kiss with this girl.

Right. And he almost faints. Right. He goes, I don't know what's going on, right? Right. And then his last line was, I can't feel my legs. Yeah. Right? After one kiss.

And I think that's the one thing that I'll never know. Is that? Numbness in your legs? No, I've had several strokes. I have diabetes too. But no, I'm being real here. It's, I think I'm so jaded throughout the years of being a comic that a kiss does nothing for me.

You have to stick your two fingers in my butthole to get any kind of response. And my point is, that's a little extreme, but when I saw Connor kiss, the purity of that, the innocence of it, and I think that's what love is. I think you're right. And I think you and I fucked it up. Well,, and I think that's what love is. I think you're right.

And I think you and I fucked it up. Well yeah, I think it's the drugs and everything. Yeah, when meth. Yeah, it's all the drugs. I think it's the drugs and the copious amounts of drugs and alcohol. Yeah. That would be my guess.

That's my guess. That would be my guess. No, because I remember in my early 20s having those feelings of like, like, oh wow, what is happening? You know what I mean? The longing, you know what I mean? And then you get knee deep in it.

You can get it back. I don't think you can. No you can't, I agree. I don't know if a kiss, you know what I mean? Also you're talking about a show about autistic people. That's Love on the Spectrum. Yeah, I know. What if I didn't know? That's how I am. You're experiencing the world differently. It's not bad, it's just different. Yeah, but

I do think that in my early 20s, I haven't finished my point. I agree. You wanna get out of here, is that what it is? No, I agree. We're almost done. I know what you were gonna say. What was I gonna fucking say? In your early 20s, you felt that kind of magic. That's what I felt, right? So I think it is in me, right?

So I think the way to do it, because last night I contemplated it, and I rewound that scene over and over again. It made me cry, The purity of it. Well, that's beautiful. I don't believe you. Well, I'm not. But anyway.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm being fucking real with you. I'm being real too. I also cry. And I was like, and I thought about it in bed, I was like, I think the only way I can do it is if you stay absent for a couple years. Yeah.

Right? Cut out all the porn, strip clubs, all that stuff. You know what I mean? And then just like work on myself, focus on what I need to focus on, and maybe magically I'll meet somebody that's gonna take me off my feet. That's what I want.

Don't you want that, Tim? Sure. You wanna be in love. It'd be nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And to raise a family or not, whatever. You wanna raise a family? He. Whatever you want to raise a family No, I'm just you want to raise one baby

Okay, do you really want to raise a family? You don't want one baby. I'm I I don't know. Yeah, you do I don't know. You'd be a great father. Well, of course I would but that's I think that more considerations same Imagine that kid but he'd be so creative. Yeah, you know your kid will be great though It would be good. I think your kid would be absolutely good. It's not who my wife is what? What my wife is? Not so much, but maybe genetics genetics Listen do we have the lifestyles where we can raise children?

Think about it. Let's be very honest. Are we Selfless enough to raise children. That's a hard question. Here's the thing when Esther you'd be a great father So would I probably but like it's it's we have to really we'd have to tone down. We're very into us But don't you want to change? I'm not saying it's not possible or it wouldn't be preferable, but you have to think about, can you give that child so much of your time?

I think I can. And I think that, like, I spent eight hours a day playing Stardew Valley. Okay. This game, great game. And you could do it with the kid. Or I can spend four hours, you know what I mean? Yeah.

Being with the kid. That's right. Right? And what I'm saying is that like, the only, what you sprung up for me was Esther having a baby, you didn't see her for a while. Right. Right? And it's like, I want to still be in the game. But maybe a guy can do it. I don't know.

You know what I mean? I don't know either. I don't know. These are hard questions. Are they not? Yes! We're gonna talk about. I know, but I just don't talk about things like that

with you. That's why it's weird. Well, that's why we're gonna go to dinner. Yeah, but what are we gonna talk about? This. Yeah, blowing fucking Hitler. No, we're gonna talk about being fathers. We can pretend those guys are our sons.

That's what we're gonna say. Which one do you want? It would be more realistic with the big Joey to be. I don't want the one without the lip. I get that one. Both lips are gone. I know how did that happen? God wasn't creative that day. Right. It's sometimes like... Tired, yeah. Well sometimes when you see a factory right and some guy misses something like a bolt. Human error, yeah. Yeah, a whole human error and he's just born and then God went, sometimes when you see a factory, right and some guy misses something like a bolt human area Yeah, a whole human error and he's born and the guy They'll love the restaurant they'll be excited about it. And I think we will talk about having children

All right. So when does the special come out April 15th? Do you have fun here? I loved it. I had a great time Join now join that I love that join now. Where'd you shoot it? At the mothership? We shot it at the mothership. Rogan was very kind to let us do that. Is it a good place to shoot, you think? It's a fun club. It's a great club. I have no dates on the market. You don't? No.

You directed your own special. Would you recommend Bobby does that with his special? Yeah, I think so. I think it's fake. The director? It's fake. The director? It's fake, they call me special. It is? It's kind of fake. It seems easy.

It's point the camera at the stage. I mean, unless we're doing something. Or maybe have Tim direct yours. Yeah. Do you want to do the Chen Chen Sun? No, I already got it. I'll do mine. You know, we could talk about this.

They have a back room. Yeah. Anyway, watch Tim's. Watch my special. It's special, and then anything you wanna plug. That restaurant. That restaurant, and. And that restaurant, and I have a podcast,

and call the Trojan Experience. And just that restaurant, go to that restaurant, go to it. We're gonna go together Wednesday. If it doesn't happen, we'll have to revisit it. It's actually great. Okay. I love it. Give Tim a round of applause.

Thank you. That was so easy. How great is my Realtor for doing that? It's a little fake restaurant, obviously. The way he jumped on so fast. My realtor texted me back everything. Of course I am. It's fake. Dude, the text back was amazing.

Put it back on. It's alright. How did you get fooled? How were you fooled? 5, 4, 3, 2, we're back. So we ended the podcast. And I admitted the restaurant's fake. It was my real estate agent who accidentally did that text. We're not going to tell him that was brilliant.

We're not going to Dinner Wednesday. Bobby sat. No, we can, but not at that fake restaurant I made up. You didn't know it was fake. I swear to God, I'm my mother's life. You said it was a Chinese man and they had the most American accent. Yeah, it was a guy, I was like,

Shenzhen, and he was like, hello. But it was, but you know what? It was a great moment for all of us. It was a good bit, the show worked, everything went. It hit, people love it. People are- Don't feel, I Googled like five different names to try to find it and I couldn't, so.

I was really- That's the only reason I didn't- But the believability is that sometimes some of these restaurants. You don't know. You don't know. But that's what a good lie is. Damn.

And then you had a guy text you that whole thing. Brilliant. With actual Asian character letters. That's it. And I didn't even tell him to. I didn't even tell him to. That's absolutely incredible. It was a great bit.

Yeah. I prepared this for two months. It was a bit. It was a bit. We worked on this for six months. I'm gonna get revenge. It was a great bit. Yeah. I prepared this for two months. It was a bit. It was a bit. We workshopped this for six months. I'm going to get revenge. It's fair. OK. That's fair.

I look like a fool. I don't think you look like a fool. I do. And I'm going to get revenge. And you know how I get revenge? You guys know, right? It's deep. It's deep.

Yeah. It has to be. I hope it's very deep. Yeah. So anyway, OK. Tim Dillon. So anyway, um, okay, Tim Dylan. What's up, my little Mexican Bean? Yeah.

Oh, my name is Bobby. And my real name is Robert. I have a little bit of a, identity issues. And a little bit of identity crisis. Laughing your own song, I love it. I've never heard such a loud laughter for your own song.