Timesuck with Dan Cummins - 105 - Nikola Tesla: A Strange and Beautiful Mind

Episode Date: September 17, 2018

Nikola Tesla. The prototypical "mad scientist". He slept only a few hours a night and devoted his life to science like none-other. A rags-to-riches-to-rags visionary who was a giant in the field of sc...ientific invention, he created the first alternating current (AC) motor and was a pioneer in the field of wireless information transmission. He helped build the world’s first large-scale hydroelectric power plant at Niagara Falls. He even pushed scientific rival Thomas Edison into electrocuting pets to prove that his direct current technology was better and safer than Tesla’s alternating current. It was a AC versus DC, War of Currents nerd fight that lasted over a decade. He was also a strange man who fell in love with a pigeon and once claimed to have created a "death ray". And he gets sucked today, on Timesuck! Timesuck is brought to you today by Hims! Go to forhims.com/dansc and save $20 off your first month's anti-aging kit! Timesuck is also brought to you by Leesa! Go to leesa.com/timesuck and get $160 off a Leesa mattress or $235 off of a Sapira mattress and FREE shipping by entering TIMESUCK at checkout! Merch - https://badmagicmerch.com/ Want to try out Discord!?! https://discord.gg/tqzH89v Want to join the Cult of the Curious private Facebook Group? Go directly to Facebook and search for "Cult of the Curious" in order to locate whatever current page hasn't been put in FB Jail :) For all merch related questions: https://badmagicmerch.com/pages/contact Please rate and subscribe on iTunes and elsewhere and follow the suck on social media!! @timesuckpodcast on IG, @timesuckpodcast on Twitter, and www.facebook.com/timesuckpodcast Wanna be a Space Lizard? We're over 3000 strong! Click here: https://www.patreon.com/timesuckpodcast Sign up through Patreon and for $5 a month you get to listen to the Secret Suck, which will drop Thursdays at Noon, PST. You'll also get 20% off of all regular Timesuck merch PLUS access to exclusive Space Lizard merch. You get to vote on two Monday topics each month via the app. And you get the download link for my new comedy album, Feel the Heat. Check the Patreon posts to find out how to download the new album and take advantage of other benefits. And, thank you for supporting the show by doing your Amazon shopping after clicking on my Amazon link at www.timesuckpodcast.com

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Nikola Tesla, a giant in the field of scientific invention. He created the first alternating current AC motor and was a pioneer in the field of wireless information transmission. He helped build the world's first large-scale hydroelectric power plant on Niagara Falls. He pushed scientific rival Thomas Edison into electrocuting pets to prove that his direct current technology was better and safer than Tesla's alternating current, AC versus DC. Tesla rose from rags to riches and then fell back to rags during his strange, turbulent life.
Starting point is 00:00:33 He's the prototype for a modern mad scientist stereotype, a man obsessed with invention who only slept a few hours a night and devoted himself entirely to his work. He was both a genius, who we have to thank for much of our modern technology, and also a man who never had a single romantic relationship in his long life, but did fall in love with the pigeon. For real. He was a rising scientific star who went from being broke in Europe to becoming a successful scientist in America to digging ditches, to become a highly successful man again to getting kicked out of one New York hotel after another for not paying his bills to making a series of strange claims
Starting point is 00:01:12 in his last years about stuff like having built a powerful death ray. Nikola Tesla was a brilliant weirdo and I like weirdos. So let's get weird. Let's get real weird and dig into the strange genius of Tesla today on TimeSuck. Happy Monday, TimeSuckers. Hail Nimrod! Praiseable jangles of Begon, Lucifina. I'll trust you today. I'm Dan Cummins, aka the master sucker, and you are listening to Time Suck.
Starting point is 00:01:50 You're inside the cult of the curious, and I hope it feels also right. You beautiful, wonderful meat sack. Has anyone told you that you're perty today? Well, you are. You're super duper perty. Recording in a Renaissance in an Oxford California today. Actually a Renaissance, that'd be more exciting. A, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a Dungeon this next week if Nimrod wills it. Thanks to the time suckers who came out to the levely live in Oxnard this past week.
Starting point is 00:02:26 And we got work to do to build the time suck following an Oxnard. But the time sucks who are there? Time suckers? Die hearts and fantastic meat sacks. Keep spreading the suck. Thank you for the wonderful gifts. Trying to get better about posting your gifts on Instagram at DancomasComedy. You spoil me.
Starting point is 00:02:44 Thanks also for continuing to review the suck and spread it around the web. Appreciate it greatly. Next to Word of mouth, ratings and reviews spread to suck like nothing else. Reviews on iTunes specifically keep the podcast on iTunes charts, which is the best way to kind of help get exposure and new listeners. Also since some of you have been asking, no, I will not have the vinyl record for maybe on the problem to sell at shows here in the next month or so at least. You can only get it at the moment
Starting point is 00:03:12 through Romantic Records. Happy to sign it if you do order and bring it to a show. A link to these wax beauties, these custom limited edition pressings in the Romantic Records store in today's episode description. The lizard gold custom album and the one off wonder bundles already sold out. So thank you very much for picking up those super limited editions. Tri-colors black and bruised, positivity, blue, splatter, limited edition albums, moving
Starting point is 00:03:41 fast. While I won't have the new album, I will have Lindsay with me in Portland, Oregon, this September 27 to 29th, back at Helium, flatters tour, stand-up shows continue and a live metamorphosis, Narco Satan is called podcast on September 30. Lindsay will be with me at the post show, meet and greet, merch table each show. So come get some picks. Come say hi back to SoCal October 5th and 6th at the rec room and Huntington Beach. That room looks like an awesome place for a show. Lindsey will not be with me that week, but I'll be there.
Starting point is 00:04:12 I'll be there entertaining the shit out of you. And then back to the Northwest as a Tacoma Comedy Club October 11th through 13th. I believe Lindsey will be there. That one. And then another live Madame Morales Narco Satanist cult podcast on October 14th. And then those will be my only Seattle area shows this year. The rest of the year's tour dates, Dan Cummins dot TV Columbus Ohio Buffalo, New York, Spokane Washington, St. Louis, Missouri. Grand Rapids Michigan coming down the 2018 tour pipe. And now it's mad science, it's time.
Starting point is 00:04:42 It's Tesla time. It's time to light up this electric addition of time stock. Okay, first things first, Tesla Motors has no direct link to Nikola Tesla. He didn't invent the electric car. He never started a car company. The name of modern day mad scientist Elon Musk car company is a homage to Nikola Tesla though. Elon had nothing to do with the name choice specifically. The Tesla founders Martin Eberhardt and Mark Tarpening came up with it and Elon Musk was brought into run Tesla shortly after those guys incorporated. Elon is actually pointed to Tesla rival Thomas
Starting point is 00:05:21 Edison as being more of a personal hero to him than Tesla. Still, on an old post on the automaker's website, the company did state that without Tesla's vision and brilliance, our car wouldn't be possible. We're confident that if he were alive today, Nikola Tesla would look over our 100% electric car and not his head with both understanding and approval. So clearly, they all hold him in high regard as they should. Tesla filed for more than 700 patents for everything from wireless communication to fluorescent lighting in his lifetime. He lit a long, interesting, inspiring life. So let's stop dicking around. Let's just get into it with today's TimeSuck timeline.
Starting point is 00:06:03 with today's time suck timeline. Shrap on those boots soldier, we're marching down a time suck timeline. Nikola Tesla was born on July 10th 1856 to Militin and Duka Tesla, ethnic servants in the village of Smyjjan, Lika and the Austrian Empire. Side of present day Croatia, he was the fourth of five kids with three sisters, Marika, Angelina, Milka, and older brother Dane. His father, Malutan, priest in the Eastern Orthodox Church, aka the Orthodox Catholic Church,
Starting point is 00:06:40 aka the Greek Orthodox Church. And his mother, Duka, was an altar boy. Kidding, kidding, wrong Catholic Church, aka the Greek Orthodox Church. And his mother, Ducca, was an ultra boy. Kidding, kidding, wrong Catholic Church. And I know most Catholic priests aren't into kids. Maybe, not positive, but I'm pretty sure some priests are not into kids. With the volume of scandals and well documented practice of hiding predators, who knows how many Catholic priests
Starting point is 00:07:01 do or do not want to molest kids today? I'm guessing slash hoping the overwhelming majority do not have any interest in doing that tough times for priests man If they were a stock right now that they would be trading it all time lows But that's not what we're talking about today Tesla's dad is an Eastern Orthodox priest and Tesla later described his mother as a Very handy woman around the house who was known for her abilities to make tools and appliances as well as memorize great poems. Tesla would also later say in regards to his mother, my mother was an inventor of the first order and would I believe have achieved great things
Starting point is 00:07:36 had she not been so remote from modern life and its multi-fold opportunities. As dad was also known for excellent memory, ability to write well, and his eloquent sermons and speeches. And Nikola also found him to have an exceptional wit. So clearly, both parents, despite not being academics, possessed exceptional intellectual abilities. Both of his parents also had the clear expectation that young Tesla would grow to work as a member of the clergy, like his father, which unfortunately for them, Tesla
Starting point is 00:08:05 had zero interest in. Tesla's birthplace, Smeja, there I'm saying it right, in the mountains of modern-day Lika, a rural region of present-day Croatia, was a small village with a recorded population of 2,090 people in 1857. The population has been steadily declining since then with a total of 418 people in 2011. A lot like my hometown, a Regan's, almost the exact same current population. Man, it's like we're the exact same person. Just two regular old geniuses.
Starting point is 00:08:36 One invented a whole bunch of stuff that modern communications technology and so much more is based on. One can barely pronounce the words of a single language who often forgets what day of the week it is, but other than that, same. The area of Smeger has been populated since the middle to late Bronze Age, it's across the Adriatic Sea from the eastern coast of Italy to quiet farming communities surrounded by low wooded hills with large mountains in the distance. It's charming and quaint.
Starting point is 00:09:02 Today, you can find Tesla's childhood home in his father's church, which was restored in 2006 after the Cruation War of Independence that served as museums in the Tesla Memorial Complex. Okay, so you know, I don't exactly have that in my hometown. No one, no museums, no one even actually has a street name after me. I'm actually not even the most famous person from Riggins anymore. Not after Dallas Cowboys, you know, they selected Riggins Sem River High School graduate Layton Vanderech in the first round of this past year's draft, and then that's not a bitch that he may be at heart of me in an ESPN interview.
Starting point is 00:09:37 Damn it. So you know, not quite museum level of respect from the tiny hometown, but other than that, we're kind of the same. You know, maybe I'll just have to buy my own statue someday. Maybe I'll buy a statue of me, just, you know, soft cocks, broken, just chikotilo style. The locals will then have to protest. What is a big deal? Why not you like statues? Why you discuss about Russian murders statue across straight from grade school? Why sign petition? Not let Park be renamed Chikotilo-Raslin Field. It's wrong Russian name. You know what time suck?
Starting point is 00:10:10 You know understand dark joking of things. Typical American, prefer football over subversive podcasting. In 1961, five-year-old Nikola, a 10-school for the first time, he graduated college six weeks later. That's fucking crazy talk. Now, he starts school and is viewed by his classmates as a huge weirdo because he was. This is how Tesla would be able to describe himself in early grade school. He said, I had a violent aversion against the earrings of women. But other ornaments as bracelets please me, more or less according to design. The sign of a pearl would almost give me a fit, but I was fast and it would the glitter
Starting point is 00:10:49 of crystals or objects with sharp edges and plain surfaces. I would not touch the hair of other people, except perhaps at the point of a revolver. I would get a fever by looking at a peach, and if a piece of camphor was anywhere in the house it caused me to keenist discomfort. Even now I am not insensible to some of these upsetting impulses. When I drop a little square as a paper and a dish filled with liquid I always sense a peculiar and awful taste to my mouth. I counted the steps of my walks and calculated the cubicle contents of soup plates, coffee cups and pieces of food. Otherwise my meal was unenjoyable. All repeated acts or operations I performed had to be divisible by three, and if I must, I felt impelled, or if I missed, I felt impelled to do it all over again, even if it took hours.
Starting point is 00:11:35 Up until the age of eight years, my character was weak and vacillating. I had neither the courage nor strength to form a firm resolve. My feelings came in waves and surges and vibrated unceasingly between extremes. My favorite line of that was, he wouldn't touch anyone else's hair unless it was at the end of a revolver. At first, I took that, at first I took that to mean
Starting point is 00:11:56 like he would be holding the revolver. Now now I get it literally be someone, holding the revolver with him, like before he's in hand with the gun to touch somebody else's hair. But at first it was even funnier to me to stop sounding so close to me. Back away at once, my God, you filthy hair almost touched me. I almost vomited the thought of that.
Starting point is 00:12:12 The only way I shall come into contact with your disgusting hairs if I press the cold steel barrel of a pistol against the side of your nasty head. So, if you think, man, like the way Tesla describes himself, it sounds like you may have had asperers. Well, you might be correct. Nikola is strongly suspected by many to have had Asperger syndrome. So what is Asperger syndrome? Well, it's a very unique developmental disorder related to autism and characterized by higher
Starting point is 00:12:40 than average intellectual ability coupled with impaired social skills and restrictive repetitive patterns of interest and activities. I'm sure we'll suck autism someday, or at least it'll pop up in an ancillary topic like, or ancillary, excuse me, ancillary topic like anti-vaccinations, you know, the anti-vaccine movement that's led to, that will lead to a lengthy explanation of autism.
Starting point is 00:13:03 If I recall correctly, actually, the valedictorian of my graduating college class suffered from Asperger syndrome. I truly thought this guy's Zeke, I believe his name was, I think I thought he was mentally handicapped for several years. I didn't think he was even a student at the school, turns out he graduated with a double degree
Starting point is 00:13:22 in English engineering. I think it was civil engineering, straight A's in every single single class nothing but a's the whole time he's in college Academic genius who seem to struggle through a casual conversation. I just think it's fascinating how the mind can work Fascinating how people who may not have the required skills to even stay alive like in one generation Like I think about like if Tesla would have been born, you know a earlier, you know, his skills would have not helped him out really at all, but then can be one of the most important people alive in their generation. Time mean really can be everything. Tesla was also an avid reader and read so much that his father became concerned about his vision. Losing your sight because you read too much
Starting point is 00:14:05 is an urban legend, by the way. That was one I thought might be true, or probably was true until this week. According to the fine folks that prevent blindness.org, although extensive or prolonged reading of fine print can cause eye strain, there is no evidence to suggest that it will damage or wear out your eyes. While Tesla's dad believed in this myth enough to hide all sources of light, candles, lamps, etc.
Starting point is 00:14:29 to prohibit Tesla's nighttime reading sessions. So naturally, Tesla being the young, inventive genius he was, he just made his own candles. Just kept reading away. Tesla claimed that prior to turning six, he'd already fallen in love with the process of creation. It would be the only real love of his long life. His first moment of real inventive, Lori came when he wanted to catch frogs with other boys but had no hook, so he just made his own hook, which was a considerably better hook than the other boys, and he was able to catch frogs better than they could. He also enjoyed taking apart clocks, made himself a pop gun, and more.
Starting point is 00:15:01 And then in 1862, Young Tesla dies and is buried in a local cemetery, and his family won't see him again until he comes back to life in 1865. He was able to invent himself back to life. Incredible. It's fucking truly incredible. In 1866, it was revealed that the 1862 stuff, I just said was actually made up in 2018.
Starting point is 00:15:24 For real in 1862, six-year-old Tesla and his family moved to nearby town of Gospels on present day Croatia, where his father continued to work as a local priest and Tesla continues his education through middle school. Yeah, ghost pitch. These words, I missed a few pronunciation next to them, but Ghost Pitch, man, they're trickities, Serbian Croatian words. It was a bit larger, had a 2011 population recorded
Starting point is 00:15:52 it 12,745, and while no exact figure is given for its 1860s population, it seems likely based on what other stuff I read, like 5,000, 10,000 person range. Rains a lot in Ghost Beach. Most of the year, snow's a lot during most winters. Sounds fun. Sounds like a good place for a young inventor to grow up because it sounds like some place which is really fun to go outside. The area has been settled since the Stone Age. As long as we look to it's an area for avid outdoor recreation,
Starting point is 00:16:19 hunting, fishing, hiking, that kind of stuff, rest near the leak of river, where Tesla would have a near death encounter, he claimed that a vision ran through him, just as he was near drowning from exhaustion in the river, and then he could clearly see how to maneuver himself to alleviate the force of the water and provide the necessary reprieve from his struggle.
Starting point is 00:16:37 So, early sign of genius, he had this very clear vision of like, oh, I need to do this, and then this, and then this to not drown. Unworked. 1883 when Nicola was only seven, one of those life defining moments would occur. He would witness his older brother, Dane, die.
Starting point is 00:16:54 Tess' older brother, Dane, died by falling off a family horse. And some accounts indicate that Tesla may have inadvertently contributed to his death by spooking this horse. One account says that Tesla caused the horse to spook when he uppercutted it in the dick and then grabbed onto his balls with both hands and just yelled, most historians place a lot of doubt on that account because it was made up by me and I wasn't there or alive even to see any of that.
Starting point is 00:17:25 Well, whether he accidentally contributed to Dane's death or not, what's known for sure is that Tesla adored and looked up to his older brother. And after his death, he felt though that he could never live up to the potential of his brother's talent, or perhaps his brother's death actually helped contribute to his relentless pursuit of technological invention later in life. Tesla would save his brother years later. I had a brother who was gifted to an extraordinary degree. One of those rare phenomena of mentality
Starting point is 00:17:50 which biological investigation has failed to explain. His premature death left my parents disc, inconsolable. And also he says, I witnessed the tragic scene and although 56 years have elapsed since my visual impression of it has lost none of its force. The recollection of its attainments or the recollection of his attainments made every effort of mine seem dull in comparison.
Starting point is 00:18:13 Anything I did that was credible, merely caused my parents to feel their loss more keenly. So I grew up with little confidence in myself. That's pretty incredible that, you know, all the acclaim that Tesla would get throughout his life for just being like a very, very, very intelligent person. He still thinks years later that his older brother named was more intelligent than he was. Crazy if that is true. In 1870, 14 year old Tesla moved to the roughly 50,000 person Croatian city of Carlobuts on the Austro-Hungarian military frontier
Starting point is 00:18:45 at the time to continue his school in at the at the higher real gymnasium. And no, he didn't go to school in gym. And I wasn't just studying Dodgeball, Batman. Germany, some schools were and are called gymnasiums. Classes were taught in German. Tesla became enchanted with physics while there. He lived with one of his aunts and her husband, a retired military colonel. Also claimed that he spent the entire time in a torturous level of near-starvation due to his aunts' insistence that he only eat a little bit due to his delicate constitution. Sounds delightful.
Starting point is 00:19:14 Aside from the constant level of borderline starvation, he found his time there to be pleasant. He found his aunt and uncle to be kind, refined and generous. It's a weird description. Oh, they were great. They were kind, they were generous. Always trying to starve me. Was the one kind of, one thing I didn't love was the, always just kind of being almost starved. Other than that, I mean, very refined and kind of generous.
Starting point is 00:19:38 He used every spare moment to learn and move ahead and accelerate at pace, graduating in three years instead of the standard four. It was also during this time that it became enamored with the study of electricity. The area of innovation he would arguably contribute the most to. In 1873, 17-year-old recent grad Tesla would nearly die.
Starting point is 00:19:56 After catching a bit of cholera, it all cholera. After returning to Smeja, damn dirty water, you know, as soon as he's done with school, what a graduation gift that is, get all the cholera in your system. He'd be bedridden for nine months in a desperate attempt to help alleviate some of the pain of Tesla suffering. His father promised his son that he would be sent to the best technical school in the world to study engineering if he could only recover. So Tesla was the rare person to get something good out of catching a cholera.
Starting point is 00:20:22 If you don't recall from the Donner party's suckered and catch that one, cholera is disease spread by bacteria and contaminated water. It's a dirty water disease. And it can be fatal in mere hours if untreated. cholera's symptoms, as quoted from the Mayo Clinic's website, are diarrhea. Diaries, a big one. cholera-related diarrhea comes on suddenly and may quickly cause dangerous fluid loss. As much as a quart, about one liter, an hour, diarrhea due to cholera often has a pale, milky
Starting point is 00:20:48 appearance that resembles water in which rice has been rinsed. So that's pretty gross. Then there's the nausea and vomiting which often occur at the same time as diarrhea. For extra fun. Vomity may persist for hours at a time and suffer as occasionally vomit blood from vomiting with enough force to tear the lining of the arosophagus. Phew. And that's where the blood comes from. It's force to tear the lining of their esophagus. Whew, and that's where the blood comes from. It's the other tearing up their esophagus.
Starting point is 00:21:08 Dehydration can develop within hours after the onset of cholera symptoms. Depending on how much body fluids have been lost, dehydration can range from mild to severe, loss of 10% or more of total body weight indicates severe dehydration. And then, you know, other symptoms, you know, is irritability, you know, you're irritable
Starting point is 00:21:24 for your puke and your shit and your guts out. Lothargy, sunken eyes, irritability, I bet, about your irritable for your puke and your shit and your guts out. Lothargy, sunken eyes, dry mouth, extreme thirst, dry, shriveled skin, slow to bounce back, would pinch into a fold, little or no urine output, low blood pressure, and an irregular heartbeat. In all terseated consciousness, seizure, coma, death, I'm guessing crying a lot of tears
Starting point is 00:21:44 is a symptom of cholera. I'm guessing begging God to not die is a common symptom. I'm also guessing that begging God to just to go ahead and kill you just get it over with is probably another symptom. And all of those symptoms can be alleviated by today's response. Time suck is brought to you today by McGill's pop prevention supositories. The minds of McGill's pop have created an effervescent suppository you insert into your rectum to keep from dying from cholera, and equally important to keep from dying in the most cholera of ways from literally blowing off your bottle. Don't wait to hear that fateful pop. Don't shoot someone's innocent face eye out with your angry brown eye, shove some McGill's
Starting point is 00:22:24 up into your tummy's exit ramp, and when you feel that bubbling, you know it's working. The suppository dissolves and then re-hardens to form a colon dam that keeps liquid from continuing to be violently ejected out of your anal paper shredder. Then it releases enzymes that migrate over into your stomach, calm it down, and then heartens again to form a second blockade, keeping liquid from being vomited out of your neck entrance ramp. And then it releases another enzyme that makes you think about staring into a gentle ponies, sweet hazel eyes. Because that's maybe the most soothing thing you can possibly do for yourself. Just look at that pony. Look at the pony, look at his eyes. It's all going to be okay. Look, ponies, that's so. Ponies nodding. So's all gonna be okay. Look, pony's that's so, pony's not in.
Starting point is 00:23:05 So go to McGill's pop dot, protect your butthole and enter the promo code, don't blow it off. And of course, that is not today's sponsor. That is a call back to a joke in the Donner party if you're thoroughly confused right now. Time suck is actually brought to you by hymns. Some things get better with age, like wine or a nice single malt scotch. Unfortunately, that's not the case when it comes
Starting point is 00:23:27 your skin in your face. Damn it! Why face? Why can't you be more like scotch? Luckily, there is something you can do to fight the effects of aging and try not to look like an old raisin the somebody stepped on and then got stuck on the bottom of her shoe and then walked across the desert with that shoe. For Hems.com is one stop shop for skin care, hair loss, sexual wellness for men, hymns anti-aging kit is a custom prescription cream tailored to you that can keep your skin looking youthfully smooth by reducing the appearance of wrinkles and fine lines. The secret is Trinatoin. Oh, that's a tough word.
Starting point is 00:24:01 Tray, Trayta, Traytanoin, Traytanoin. Okay, that works to renew word. Trey, Trey Ta, Trey Tenoin, Trey Tenoin. Okay, that works to renew and restore skin by increasing collagen. Hymns connects you with doctors online who will evaluate your skin needs, and it can't prescribe you a custom anti-aging treatment. No more awkward in-person doctors office visits.
Starting point is 00:24:18 Products are shipped directly to your door, sweet. When I'm not an idiot, and I remember to use my man lotion, I noticed less fine lines, more consistent skin tone, and less feelings of, uh, seriously, that is my face. That's my face. When I look in the mirror, it makes me feel good about my face. So get some, it's your skin.
Starting point is 00:24:37 Do you want to be a face in the crowd, or do you want to be the face in the crowd? Order now and save $20 off your first month of him's anti-aging kit. Lock in those hands and looks now. Get your first month of anti-aging for $20 off. Go to 4himms.com slash dan s c d a n s c. That's f o r h i m s dot com slash dan s c. 4hennet dot com slash dan c. Link in the episode description to make it easy. Direct link to the discount with the him sponsored button at the time, so app and website. Okay, so now back to Tesla,
Starting point is 00:25:13 having a shitty cholera field of life in 1873. His big accomplishment that year was not dying from cholera. In 1874, according to some sources, 18-year-old Tesla had sounded the small Serbian village of Timangash, a tiny village of less than 50 people today. Not sure if I pronounced that one correct, because there was no pronunciation for it, because no one in the world gives a shit
Starting point is 00:25:35 about that village right now. What, maybe 50 people, tops, living out of the fucking woods. That's where he went. He had to avoid being conscripted in the Austro-Hungary Military. According to Tesla's autobiography, he didn't move to avoid joining the army. He was just a two week still recovering from cholera. What sounds like, you know, probable?
Starting point is 00:25:53 His father insists that he spend a year regaining his health through physical activity and the natural setting of the mountains. Either way, he did spend about a year's time hiking and reading, reflecting and planning. Mark Twain, who later went on to become a friend of his, was one of his favorite authors. The following year, in 1875, 19 year old Tesla moved to the small several hundred thousand person city of Gratz, Austria, and began attending
Starting point is 00:26:16 Austrian Polytechnic on scholarship. Founded in 1811, the school still operates today and is known as the Gratz University of Technology. Tesla's drive and borderline obsessive desire to learn and impress his parents led him to complete nine exams. Nearly double the requirement, start an ethnic served club on campus and earn the highest marks in the school will never miss a single class in this first year. Crossed his first year. He also started his work at 3am each morning and continued working until 11 p.m. each night, seven days a week, even on holidays. And now we've reached the point in the autobiography of a great notable historical figure, where
Starting point is 00:26:55 I feel like a weak whiny, wide-oven bother, trying pieces of shit. Like, I pride myself on hard work, but good God. Four hours of sleep, a night, every night, no. After about three nights like that, and I start feeling highly mentally unstable. After a week, I feel very fragile. Emotionally, I start worrying about dying a lot. After a few weeks, I start getting nosebleeds,
Starting point is 00:27:17 and I start thinking the death sounds fantastic. Six hours a night, I can do for a while, but even that doesn't feel healthy. Eight. Eight hours of sleep, four of few nights in a night, I can do for a while, but even that doesn't feel healthy. Eight. Eight hours of sleep, four of few nights in a row, and I feel like a borderline, superhero. Tesla was a machine, and he would actually get us, we'll find out even later sleep, less than, like, later on in his life, or even less sleep later on in his life. So, I had to, like, try and look, listen for a second there.
Starting point is 00:27:43 I apologize if there's any sound difference in the room right now. I've turned off, my wife and I were talking about this, Lindsey, there's this weird thing that I don't know if it's broken with the air conditioner, but you can turn it off, all the settings to off and it turns off for a little while and just like a little bit later, it's like, you know what, we're going to be on again now. So that's fun. But you probably can't hear it. I bet Joe is fixing it out.
Starting point is 00:28:03 So I'll just, anyway, I'll shut up about it. As impressed as I am with Tesla's work ethic, his father at the time did not seem to be impressed. He returns home from that first year of school where he just dominated. He's now a recognized scholar and his dad made dismissive comments about the feat crushing Tesla.
Starting point is 00:28:19 Dad just didn't seem to care. However, years later, after his father died, Tesla found letters from his professors that expressed great concern over Tesla's obsessive nature. They have written out of worry for Tesla's health and had advised his father to remove him from the institution before he literally worked himself to death. So it's possible that Tesla's dad
Starting point is 00:28:40 just didn't want to encourage his son to work himself to death. You know, also, Possible's father was a dick, but I'm but probably the thing who just have concern I mean, that's crazy when you're like the valedictorian your crush in school But then you're the professor like I don't think he's you come back like we think that he's probably gonna die if he comes back The dude just will not go to sleep like what we are we're encouraging him to study less He's the only student in the history of the school Well, we're like man, and take it easy. Have a drink every now and again.
Starting point is 00:29:07 Relax. When Tesla returned to school to follow in year in 1876, he was just heartened by his father's lack of apparent pride or even approval and his accomplishments and he started gambling a lot. Not taking school as seriously this year. Playing mostly card games, also some billion games he'd bet on,
Starting point is 00:29:23 and he ends up losing the scholarship. Just damn it, even geniuses can't consistently win a gambling, very depressing observation for any would-be gamblers. During his second year of polytechnic, he also begins to question his professors. He's outgrowing their genius, and they're not intelligent enough to appreciate his. So, it's becoming less and less of a good fit. In 1877, things could even worse for Tesla. His third year, he sings into failure even further,
Starting point is 00:29:45 continues to gamble, continues to lose, and actually loses the money he needed for tuition, and the money he needed to live on. Luckily, he was later able to recoup the loss through even more gambling and repay the debt to his family. So, gambling does work, yay gambling. But all of his distractions with gambling led him to being completely unprepared
Starting point is 00:30:05 for his examinations and he was denied an extension to take them and he got no credit for the courses. So boo, bad gambling. Tesla would later credit his mother for helping him finally kick his gambling habit. He'd write, one afternoon, I remember when I had lost all my money and was craving for a game, she came to me with the role of bills and said, go and enjoy yourself. The sooner you lose all we possess, the better it will be. I know that you will get over it.
Starting point is 00:30:34 She was right. I conquered my passion then and there, and only regretted that it had not been 100 times as strong. I not only vanquished, but tore it from my heart, so as not to leave even a trace of desire. Man, mom guilt! One of the most powerful tools of persuasion in the universe. Nothing like your mom confronting you with not anger, but just utter disappointment in who you've become as a human being. It's making me think about turning into a shit around.
Starting point is 00:31:04 After my mom confronted me when I was accused of stealing stuff from the grocery store I worked down in high school, which I denied doing, even though I did do it, she looked at me and she just said, I know you couldn't have done something like that, but she looked at me in a sad way in a way that I knew that she knew that I did do it. I just saw the disgust and just utter disappointment. Like I failed as a parent that look in her face, never stole anything again. Other than some street signs of college,
Starting point is 00:31:29 but that didn't feel like stealing. Even though I got charged with city theft, that was more anarchy. I filed that under anarchy. I filed that under crazy pranks. Anyway, a Tesla stop gambling. However, he didn't recover at school. Instead of returning and taking his exit exam
Starting point is 00:31:45 as an 1878, he ditches town and hides from his family. Yeah, he was ashamed of himself. And in December of 1878, he cuts communication with everyone he knows, moves to Meribor, currently the second largest city in Slovenia, and around a hundred thousand where he worked as a draftsman. Yeah, he just shamed himself. He so ashamed he didn't even mention this little period,
Starting point is 00:32:04 many years later in his autobiography. In March of 1879, Tesla's father finds even Maribor, pleased with him to come home. Sadly, Tesla refuses, ends up suffering a nervous breakdown, only to be sent home a few days later when he's unable to present proper residency documentation to local authorities, and is essentially deported. He moves back home to Ghost Pitch. Well, the following month, April 17th,
Starting point is 00:32:27 Tesla's father dies. He was 60 years old and his health failed in the face of an unknown illness, possible stroke. Curious timing makes you wonder if the stress of Nikola hiding from his family led to him having like a stroke possibly. You know, he's kind of killed two family members now.
Starting point is 00:32:44 Who knew? This would secretly be a true crime, serial killer podcast episode. Hey, Lucifina. Tesla was a murderer. A murderer. 23 year old Tesla remains in Ghost Pitch for the rest of the year, teaches it as old school.
Starting point is 00:33:02 And in January of 1880, two of Tesla's uncles pooled her funds together and paid for him to go to Prague to continue his education. Unfortunately, he misses the enrollment deadline and is unable to do so. And then both uncles fall into financial ruin and take their own lives. Murderer Tesla has a murderer.
Starting point is 00:33:21 Now his uncles do know such thing. They're both justarily disappointed in appointed in him. I'm sure the renumer's talks about not living up to his potential. You know, maybe a lecture about like, do you want to kill your mother too? Is that what you want? Do you want to hurt also dive embarrassment? Is that what you want? You murderer. No, in addition to missing the enrollment deadline, Tesla also lacked some prerequisites for enrollment.
Starting point is 00:33:40 He wasn't literate and check or Greek as was required. He ended up sitting in on some philosophy classes, but never received credit for any of the courses taken. And then in 1881 Tesla moves to Budapest, Hungary. He gets a job at the Budapest Telephone Exchange. Now phones were brand spanking new at this time. Alexander Graham Bell had only made the world's first telephone call five years earlier in 1876 and Boston, Massachusetts, and the system itself was not operational yet upon his rival. So he was put to work at Central Telegraph Office as a draftman, was in a matter of months
Starting point is 00:34:12 he was promoted to chief electrician. So hey, things are looking up. He's chief electrician now, he's on his way, right? Wrong. Now he'd have a nervous breakdown. In his autobiography, Bell recounts, not excuse me, Tesla recounts having a complete breakdown of nerves at this time.
Starting point is 00:34:30 His sight and hearing were amplified to excruciating levels. He claimed to suffer so much from his hearing that he could hear the ticking of a watch, three rooms away, and flies land on tables with a thud. The sound of distant trains were unbearably painful. He claimed that in the dark his senses were reminiscent of a bat. He could sense objects 12 feet away with the peculiar creepy con sensation in his forehead. And he said his heartbeat, vassalated, wildly became twitchy and physicians seemed unable to help him. Luckily, over the course of the year, these symptoms
Starting point is 00:35:02 faded and he was able to regain his health Yeah, he's this is this is something he would kind of you know He push himself too hard and then have you know a little breakdowns kind of a kind of one of his things in 1882 Tesla moves to Paris and opens up a bagel shop the end. Thanks for listening everybody. It's a hell of an episode today This is the best the best No, he goes to work for the continental Edison company and begins working for his future nemesis. He worked on a project involving installing incandescent lights and buildings around the city. This was a completely new process and he quickly became an expert in electrical engineering.
Starting point is 00:35:34 And then he suffered another nervous breakdown, little one, and then he was back. He pushed himself to the brink of sanity once again collapses and back. And again, you know, this is his style, man, all of that. By the way, the now 26 year old has yet to go on a single date. Not one, not one romantic encounter. A few scholars in Tesla was a closeted homosexual. Most things to do just didn't have an interest in sex. At least not an interest that was stronger than his obsessive interest in technological innovation. Just no time for boobs. Begone loose to fina. I got an equation boner. I got a satisfy. I got to rub one out to these numbers. Mmm, sexy numbers. Math and wires and sparks and
Starting point is 00:36:12 thingamajiggers feel so good. Want to rub some of these gizmos and gadgets on my ding dong. That was probably what some people would refer to as a bit much. Also in 1882, Tesla was out of the park one day with a friend, and while he was reciting Fost as nerd, sometimes do, he was struck with the idea of how to solve a problem creating and utilizing an alternating current AC power. After a few years of working, and this is gonna be like his thing
Starting point is 00:36:41 that he focused on for most of his life, after a few years of working for the French branch of Edison's company, one of Tesla's supervisors, Charles Batser, gets sent overseas to the US to run Edison Machine Works in New York City in 1884, and he recommends a Tesla be brought along with him. His recommendation is accepted, and on June 6, 1884, Tesla arrives in New York City and begins working for the company on Manhattan's lower east side.
Starting point is 00:37:04 And then in July, Tesla has another 19 nervous breakdowns. He does not. I keep expecting him to have more. He does have a very stressful trip to the US, Trip is nightmare. He had his ticket luggage and money stolen. We'll try and get to the ship. Then, after he finally gets aboard, a mutiny breaks out during the trip, nearly resulting in Tesla being thrown overboard.
Starting point is 00:37:25 When he finally makes it to the US, he literally has four cents left in his pocket. He also has a few poems on a handful of other belongings. And thank God, he also had a job waiting for him. Think for a second about how much better travel has gotten in the past few centuries. I know we've talked about this before, but he almost got thrown off a fucking ship during a mutiny.
Starting point is 00:37:44 I haven't heard of a single mutiny happening on a passenger ship in the world of my lifetime It's just like like laughable like you imagine some carnival crews 74 people died on a carnival cruise ship and Caribbean this afternoon when there was a mutiny aboard It's insanity Think about the boy just I talked about in the about in the immigration stuff like people dying on the boat left and right 19th century. Not really that long ago. Man travel a lot better like I've flown hundreds of times this point, literally several hundred flights, easy, not one death. I know of not one medical emergency series now to even have the plane landed
Starting point is 00:38:19 and airport it wasn't originally intended for. Seems like every trip during Tesla's time and before was just filled with death and despair. So, you know, a little, a little bright spots to take away from this episode. As annoying as life can be sometimes, way better now, way better. Tesla was initially unimpressed with New York in America. He'd write, what I had left was beautiful,
Starting point is 00:38:38 our test to confastinate in it every way. What I saw here was machined rough and unattractive. Tesla was impressed by Edison. He found him to be a wonderful man and he respected how much he'd accomplished despite not having any early advantages or any scientific training. His opinion of Edison would soon change. Quick few words on Thomas Edison. Thomas Alva Edison was an American inventor and businessman born on February 11th, 1847, just nine years before Tesla, in a little 1,000-person town of Milan, Ohio,
Starting point is 00:39:09 just under 60 miles west of Cleveland. His mother taught Edison at home, so, hmm, homeschooler, oh boy. Much of his education came from reading RG Parker's School of Natural Philosophy and the Cooper Union for the Advancement of Science and Arts. Edison also developed hearing problems at an early age, you know, another disadvantage. The cause of his deafness had been attributed to a bout of scarlet fever during childhood and
Starting point is 00:39:30 recurring untreated middle ear. In fact, he wasn't completely deaf. He just had, you know, some hearing loss. He let her sold candy and newspapers on trains running from point or ports, excuse me, her on Michigan to Detroit, sold vegetables to supplement his income as a young man. He studied qualitative analysis and conducted chemical experiments on the train like a young genius does. Later Edison obtained the exclusive rights to sell newspapers on the road. The first venture in Edison's long streak of entrepreneurial success, he'd found 14 companies over the course of his life, including General Electric, which is still one of
Starting point is 00:40:03 the largest publicly traded companies in the course of his life, including General Electric, which is still one of the largest publicly-grated companies in the entire world. He was one of history's premier inventors developing many devices that greatly influenced life around the world, including the phonograph, the motion picture camera, the water balloon, and the long-lasting practical electric light bulb. Dubbed at the Wizard of Menlo Park, he was one of the first inventors to apply the principles of mass production and large-scale teamwork to the process of invention. And because of that, he is often credited with the creation of the first inventors to apply the principles of mass production and large-scale teamwork to the process of invention. And because of that, he is often credited with the creation of the first industrial research laboratory.
Starting point is 00:40:31 Man. Uh, oh, and he also did not invent the water balloon. No, that was nonsense. Funny if he did, though. Funny if he did, and if it was also considered one of his finest inventions. We award the Nobel Prize to none other than Thomas Edison for his pioneering work with water balloons. Joy brought to the lives of millions of children, cold wet anguish, also brought to the lives of millions of children. And of course the occasional eye injury.
Starting point is 00:40:59 Edison and Tesla would soon become intense rivals, but you know what? It's not Edison's suck. So fuck Edison's suck. So fuck Edison right now. Back to Tesla. While working for Edison, Tesla was tasked with repairing malfunctioning lighting aboard the SS Organ, a record breaking British passenger liner
Starting point is 00:41:15 that was the fastest ship to cross the Atlantic in 1884. The organ was delayed in its sailing due to this lighting issue. Edison was irritated by it. It was a difficult task due to the way the system had originally been installed. He's having trouble figuring out how to fix it. And then Tesla shows up and fixes it in less than 24 hours.
Starting point is 00:41:30 Works around the clock. He goes in for work one morning, stays until the following kind of early morning and then has the problem fixed and walks home. While walking home, Tesla encounters Edison by chance. Is Edison and others or heading home from a night of drinking? Edison makes a comment about Tesla being out all night as well, the reference to party and you know, whatever. Tesla corrects him and explains that now he just stayed up and fixed that problem with
Starting point is 00:41:51 the SS organ. All good now. Edison didn't say anything, just kept on walking with his friends, but Tesla apparently overheard him in a short distance away, say the Tesla was a damn good man. And then Tesla and Edison continued to work well together for about six months before Tesla abruptly quit over essentially would amounted to a bad joke shortly after fixing the SS organ Edison told Tesla he'd pay him $50,000 for an improved design for some DC dinimose
Starting point is 00:42:18 His direct current electric generators. Well these dinimos were the first instruments used as electrical power suppliers After months of long nights and experimentation, Tesla presented Edison a solution to his dynamo problem. And when Edison liked it, he asked for his $50,000. And then Edison allegedly said, Tesla, you just don't understand our American humor, you know? The whole like, no, I was kidding about that. And then Tesla got super pissed and quit.
Starting point is 00:42:41 Now, I'm sure there's a bit more to the story than this, but that's the gist. I bet Edison was not joking as much as he did probably didn't think that Tesla could actually fix it. You know, so you just threw out some crazy talk. I'm like, oh, sure, yeah, if you can fix that, I'm fine, whatever, give him $50,000. And then he actually fixed it and he's like, oh, shit. Pretty balzy for Tesla to walk out over that,
Starting point is 00:42:59 considering he'd only shown up less than a year earlier in a country where he had zero relatives, didn't know anybody, except for that one business connection, and he had four cents in his pocket. Also Tesla tried to convince Edison to switch from using direct current DC to alternating current AC power while working for him, but Edison was not interested. This disagreement over which type of current to use would define a long standing future rivalry between the two.
Starting point is 00:43:23 Early the following year in March of 1885, the 28-year-old Tesla would launch his own company, it was called the Thomas Edison can lick my Serbian ass in corporation. No, it was called the Tesla Electric Light and Manufacturing Company. Tesla tried to patent an AC-AKA Alternate and Current Arc Lighting System through Lemuel W. Cerell, Edison's patent lawyer, and he went on to set up a meeting with Robert Lane and Benjamin Vale, who were convinced to fund Tesla's endeavors. This is how Tesla Electric Light and Manufacturing was born. Tesla works on this arc lighting system and also earns his first patent in the U.S. for
Starting point is 00:43:57 an improved DC generator, which drew praise from fellow innovators. Unfortunately, despite this praise, Tesla couldn't rally financial support behind his alternating current proposals, and he struggled to gather investors. And he ends up selling patents to the company itself in exchange for stock and anticipation of great success, but that success doesn't come. Instead, his investors pulled a plug, the business is deemed too competitive for them, and they move in another direction. And now less than a year after leaving Edison's company, Tesla's broke and doesn't even
Starting point is 00:44:24 own the patents for his own inventions. So Tesla spends a better part of 1885 and 1886 working odd electrical jobs and digging ditches for $2 a day. He would describe this time of his life with the phrase bitter tears. Holy shit, can you imagine that type of quick fall? Like you work in Paris for a few years, working your way up. You're becoming a rising star, doing a good enough job, your company that you're brought over to New York City to their headquarters, where you're immediately, you know, you impress a founder of the company,
Starting point is 00:44:54 and you quickly become a top researcher. Feels like a, you know, like definite financial success lays in your immediate future. And then over a miscommunication regarding the sensual bonus, you you walk away launch your own company line up potential investors you're feeling like a million bucks right it looks like it's the right move to leave success is right around the corner you know just this will teach you Mr. Edison huh get ready to place your lips on my dairy air Thomas I'm going to bury you Mr.
Starting point is 00:45:20 Edison I'm going to fucking bury you we will find out how much you enjoy my Serbian humor. And then a few months later, your flat broke. No lucrative job prospects and you're literally digging a ditch to put food in your stomach. Just shoveling, digging that ditch, thinking about Thomas and his Edison still out there kicking ass, you know, just damn you, Mr. Addison. Damn you. I bet you expect me to beg for my old job back, you know. Take it back and have pay, huh?
Starting point is 00:45:47 Ha, okay. Oh god, these blisters are killing me. I wonder if he would give me my job back. Oh god, please, please Thomas, please, please give me my job back. I'm fragile. You know that I'm fragile. I have a delicate spine. I get cholera at that time.
Starting point is 00:46:00 I have a delicate mind. I'll die in this ditch, Thomas. Please, I'll die in this ditch. In 1886, while he doesn't get a good new job or his old job back, he does meet Alfred S. Brown, a Western Union superintendent, and he also meets New York attorney Charles F. Peck. And these business partners are intrigued by Tesla's ideas enough to offer him financial backing and help in the handling of his patents the following year. So in April 1987, these three men, they formed Tesla Electric Company.
Starting point is 00:46:28 They split profits equally amongst themselves with a third going to each man and they build a laboratory, a laboratory for Tesla's 89 Liberty Street Manhattan. So, huh? So coming back around. I'm back, Mr. Edison. I'm back. The next time I touch a shovel, it will be to bury your cold-like-less body.
Starting point is 00:46:44 I murdered my brother and my father and in time I so shall murder you. For I am a murderer. Testless alternating current induction motor starts to take off in both Europe and the US in 1887. It serves long distance high voltage needs well. Has a simple self-starting design generates a rotating magnetic field. It doesn't require a commuter and doesn't require the frequent maintenance of other motors that use mechanical brushes. Then a May of 1888 Tesla receives a patent on his AC motor, pecking brown work to have it advertised and the press and seek to showcase its improvements over other existing options.
Starting point is 00:47:18 Basically, they want to show the public that it's better than Edison's shitty design options. And that pisses Edison off. He'll soon go to insane lengths to show that his favorite DC current is Vassie Superior to Tesla's AC current. These are highly competitive times, given the, you know, given the controlled electricity was a new and rapidly expanding field and high demand with vast fortunes to be made,
Starting point is 00:47:38 Westinghouse, Edison and Thomas Houston with the three current heavy hitters in the field. And then on May 16th, 1888, Tesla demonstrates his motor at the American Institute of Electrical Engineers. News of his invention travels to George Westinghouse, the owner of a Westinghouse Electrical Manufacturing Company. And then by July of 1888, Brown and Peck strike a high-end deal with Westinghouse for the license of Tesla's AC-Polephase induction motor and transformer designs. The deal was for 60,000, roughly 1.5 million today, royalties of $2.50 at $62.30 in today's
Starting point is 00:48:12 dollar per AC horsepower produced by each motor and stock in the company. Tesla was also given a one-year contract by Westinghouse where he would receive the equivalent of $50,000 a month in today's money as payment as a consultant for the Pittsburgh Laps. So not bad man, not bad at all. He is not in the slightest bit concerned with digging ditches now. The only ditch he's possibly daydreaming about
Starting point is 00:48:34 is that one to bury Edison in, with a shovel made of fucking solid diamonds. Things are looking out for Tesla, but then Edison comes back into his life and ruins everything again. By taking the first shot and what will become to know or what will come to be known as the War of Currents nerd fight. So here are the basics of the war of currents. Tesla was arguing for an advertising alternating
Starting point is 00:48:56 current AC and Edison was utilizing and promoting direct current DC and one day during a heated argument. They kind of did one of those chest bumps that dude sometimes do, like you know chest to chest, and when they did, their penis is touch, tip to tip. And that's how Angus Young was born, and that's how the band ACDC came about. And that's what this song, Back in Black, is really about if you pay close enough attention to the lyrics. Back in Black, they bumped the sacks, and touching tips, electric man, my two dads, I'm a magic man.
Starting point is 00:49:27 Sprung forth, try to smoke after, to tip, I'm a, something like that, you know. And I'm back in black, and it's tip to tip. Okay, enough of that nonsense, I was probably painful for everyone. Now beginning in the 1888 Edison really did kick off the War of Currents with Tesla. Tesla really did advocate an alternating current method of electrical fulfillment. Edison really did advocate a direct current method. The current or electric charge only flows in one direction
Starting point is 00:49:54 in the case of direct current. But an alternating current electric charge changes direction periodically. Not only current, but also the voltage reverses because of the change in the current flow, which is better. Well, in most instances, while of the change in the current flow, which is better. Well, in most instances, while better, may not be the best word,
Starting point is 00:50:08 alternating current has been more efficient and cost effective over the last century in change. Direct current has been more difficult to transmit over long distances because it loses a little juice along the way. Has to be kind of reboosted. And upgrading to a higher or lower voltage requires expensive circuitry.
Starting point is 00:50:29 Alternating current can be more easily transmitted over long distances, can be also conveniently converted to higher or lower voltage using transformers, which are essentially a coiled up wire that steps up or steps down the magnitude of AC voltage. Those power lines you see taking electricity to your home around your neighborhood, those in all likelihood carry AC power. However, this is changing in some parts of the world in recent years where more efficient DC power, transmission techniques are being developed. Also portable battery power devices,
Starting point is 00:50:55 such as laptops and cell phones use DC, direct current power. How do they convert your homes AC power to DC power? Well, you know that little black box that is part of your battery charger or like the little white box, if you user that you know that little uh with the actually the plug goes into that little tiny white you know like square. Well that that box little square thing whatever that's an AC to DC power converter. Now obviously there are more differences of variety of other advantages and disadvantages and we could get way too bogged down and unnecessary
Starting point is 00:51:21 details for today's narrative and put everyone to sleep. We're not going to do that. I guess the main thing to know is other than the basic explanation I just gave is that during the war of currents, Tesla's AC was actually the better choice. It cost less than DC, and despite what Edison would say and try to prove, it was not more dangerous. Both AC and DC equally capable of producing enough voltage to shock your dick and or tits off. Okay, so the following, let's go get into this war of current, good historical reminder, to not believe the hype all the time.
Starting point is 00:51:54 Just because all your friends and family and media might be telling you something, that doesn't mean it's true. Marketing, marketing, often mixed with so much disgusting, blatant lies and manipulation. It's okay, so 1888 Edison's a big deal. He and his company are already very established in the field of electricity. He's making a shit ton of money off of technology and he wants to keep making that money. And he's put all his chips, you know, or all his eggs, I guess, in the DC basket. And after developing the first incandescent bulb in 1879, he supports direct, or supported by direct current.
Starting point is 00:52:24 The new lucrative electricity market has opened his arms to him, he's printing money. His invention was guaranteed to change the world. His invention was Godlike, a whole just let that be light, revolutionary phenomenon. Edison, while quickly understanding that his invention was guaranteed success, also knew to have limitations. Now, it's a very smart guy, he's a genius himself.
Starting point is 00:52:42 He knows it has limitations when being used over long distances. And when former ungrateful employee, Nikola Tesla shows back up, He's a genius himself. He knows it has limitations when being used over long distances. And when former ungrateful employee, Nicholas Tesla shows back up, starts strongly offering an advocating, this cheaper AC method of transmission, he's not happy about it. He's not happy about it. He becomes, in short, a ruthless, lying, mean-spirited asshole to try to turn public opinion away from alternating current. Or maybe he was already that kind of person, and he just revealed his true nature to the world now.
Starting point is 00:53:07 Edison launches a very mean-spirited propaganda campaign that's wildly effective. He consistently presents Tesla's alternating current as being very dangerous and unreliable. Edison actually stated, at one point, just as certain as death, Westinghouse, which is Tesla's AC system, will kill a customer within six months
Starting point is 00:53:26 after he puts it in a system of any size. He knew this wasn't true. You don't only see companies do that anymore, by the way. Can you imagine if the CEO of Ford showed up in a commercial and just said something like, go ahead, buy a Chevy. And then when it hits someone, and you're doing, you're done watching you You're dead children's blood off the inside of the windshield. Maybe you'll be ready to buy a Ford
Starting point is 00:53:51 Ford tough It's fucking crazy just to like you know to say that your competition is going to just kill its customers Back in 1887 Edison had actually already laid the groundwork for his AC power will kill you smear campaign against Tesla and his West and House backers. When a dentist from Buffalo reached out to Edison in the hopes of finding a more humane way of capital punishment. Alfred P. Southwick found hangings to be inhumane. But a recently seen a man accidentally electrocute himself and he thought that an answer to a more humane type of execution may allow or may lie within this new science. Edison was always publicly opposed to the death sentence,
Starting point is 00:54:27 but he saw the opportunity to associate his competition with death so he recommended the Westinghouse company and their use of alternate and current to Southwick and it worked. AC current would be used for the electric chair starting in 1890, on August 6, 1890, convicted murderer William Kimler would be the first person to be killed in the electric chair in Auburn, New York. And it was horrific. The generator was charged with 1000 volts, soon to be inadequate amount to induce quick unconsciousness.
Starting point is 00:54:54 And then cardiac arrest, the chair had already been thoroughly tested. A horse had been successfully electrocuted the day before. Current was then passed through Kamler for 17 seconds. The power was turned off and camera was declared dead. However, he wasn't. Witnesses noticed, camera was still breathing. The attending physicians come forward to examine camera confirm he is still alive.
Starting point is 00:55:13 A doctor calls out, have the current turned on again. Quick, no delay. Camera was then shocked with 2000 volts. Blood vessels under his skin began to rupture and bleed. And some witnesses would actually later claim that his body caught fire. The New York Times reported that an awful odor began to permeate the death chamber.
Starting point is 00:55:33 And then as though to cap the climax of this fearful site, it was seen that the hair under and around the electrode on the head and flesh under and around the electrode at the base of the spine was singed. The stench was unbearable, so they're cooking the sky. Witnesses reported the smell of burning flesh and several nauseated spectators unsuccessfully try to leave the room.
Starting point is 00:55:52 The execution ends up taking eight minutes. The competitive newspaper reporters covering the camera execution jump on all these abnormalities. Each newspaper tries to outdo the others with sensational headlines and reports. The head of Weston House Tesla's company, George Weston House later would comment, they would have done better just using an axe.
Starting point is 00:56:12 Huge PR win for Edison. Weston House's alternating current became so associated with getting electrocuted that people began to refer to getting electrocuted as getting Weston House. Man, how happy did that make Edison? Do you want my clean, safe, not shocky power? Or do you want Tesla's death juice?
Starting point is 00:56:31 Want my dependent, will make America great again, zip-zap? Or do you want Tesla's commie skin, sysler? And how much that suck for George Weston house? Man, to have your actual name associated with horrific death. Weston house, by the way, had tried to prevent this very strong. He had thrown $100,000 into an appeal for Kamler to keep that dude from being electrocuted to try to prevent alternate and current from being used in his death. And this just a small part of this war of currents.
Starting point is 00:56:58 This wouldn't happen until 1890. Meanwhile, back in 1888, Edison was just sitting around hoping for an opportunity like that to present itself. He making should happen he was touring the US putting on presentations or at least funding presentations if he wasn't there himself about how dangerous AC power could be. You know he he started publicly electrocuting dogs horses and even electrocuted an elephant with AC to make his case seriously this isn't just some of my weird shit he really did this like what in the fuck bounce around the web and you'll see, you'll
Starting point is 00:57:27 read stories about him, electrocute all kinds of creatures. Well, Edison didn't actually electrocute these animals himself, but you know, he paid to have the demonstration carried out. So he paid to have him kill, same difference. Often he paid to have him killed by an engineer and anti-alternate current advocate, Harold Brown. Stray dogs, straight cats, horses, rangatang. Yeah, that elephant, we'll talk about it a little bit. June of 1888, he started, he set up a public display to warn of the dangers of alternating current at a dog's water dish hooked up to an AC dynamo.
Starting point is 00:57:55 And when the dog went to get a drink, he had fucking shock to death. Man, times were different. Again, can you imagine getting away with doing anything remotely like that today? You know, just like my god Just the public backlash. Well, I mean the laws you'd break and everything too But just to prove that my co-abinated life bubble soda is far safer than my competitors big bubble cola This might be just as bubbly. I had five of these pigeons drink life bubble and five drink big bubble
Starting point is 00:58:22 Now now oh sorry. What is it life bubble? So yes life bubble a five drink five life bubble and then a five drink big bubble Now now oh sorry What is it life bubble? So yes life bubble a five drink for five life bubble and then the five drink big bubble what now? What's carefully see that that page is exploded? Oh? Started that one oh in the other three all five of the big bubble cold drinkers just had those stomachs blow up You see I'm talking about oh, oh shoot. Okay. That's one of ours. Just actually exploded as well. Oh shit. Okay, two bars Oh, they're okay three damn it damn it But okay, that seems to be it. That seems to be it. So five of their pigeons exploded to death two of ours lived so life bubble the safer bubble drink By the way, pigeons blown up from drinking carbonated beverages seems also be just urban legend as does the alcohol Things blown them up probably best not to test it though, don't test it.
Starting point is 00:59:05 Edison would test it though, if he could, he clearly didn't give a shit. Well, George Weston House, he sees how this is playing out. He writes Edison a letter at one point saying, I believe there has been a systemic attempt on the part of some people to do a great deal of mischief and create as great a difference as possible between the Edison company and the Weston House
Starting point is 00:59:22 electric company. When they're ought to be an entirely different condition of affairs. So he's like, come on man, we can get along. We can make this work for everybody. Edison does not bother writing back. He does continue purchasing stray dogs for 25 cents each to use in many more presentations. So really this war of currents, less of a war, really just a continual assault against Western House and Tesla has preferred alternating current AC
Starting point is 00:59:45 electricity. In 1889, while Edison is electrocuted in stray pets to increase his company's bottom line, Tesla travels to Paris for the exposition, a universal, where he finds inspiration and Heinrich Hertz is electric experimentation that proves that electromagnetic radiation, radio waves are radio waves, radio waves are in fact real. And this led to the invention of his Tesla coil in 1891.
Starting point is 01:00:11 On 1891, Tesla demonstrated a wireless lighting by, excuse me, by electrostatic induction at Columbia College. He would later go on to claim that his new system of wireless lighting, he'd work on it for more than a decade, but eventually lead to a system which signals and possibly power will be sent through the earth without the use of wires. Sound familiar? Sound like pretty much what most of us, based most of our lives around now. Wireless technology. Incredible.
Starting point is 01:00:36 How important this contribution is to modern tech and the internet. It's like this dude was trying to get the internet going back then. July 30th, 1891, Tesla became a citizen of the United States patents is Tesla coil What is a Tesla coil a Tesla coil is an electrified cock ring What excuse me? No, Tesla coil produces wireless electricity. You probably seen a version of one in the museum Even some fries electronic stores have Tesla coil displays. It's a metal coil that shoots out what looks like a lighting bolts Little of our arcs of electricity, Tesla would stand near an arc for demonstrations, hold a light bulb in his hand, and the electricity would pass through him into the bulb, lighten it up.
Starting point is 01:01:14 The concept behind the coil is actually fairly simple and makes use of electromagnetic force and resonance, and they're powerful. These Tesla co-employing copper wire and glass bottles and amateur electrician can build a Tesla coil that can produce a quarter of a million volts. Wow, 1892 Edison and Thomas Houston merged into a new company, may have heard of, called General Electric. Right, Edison's working on their other names previously.
Starting point is 01:01:36 Now it's General Electric. They celebrate by electrocuting and then stomping a hundred cocker spaniels to death. Hey, I'm in rock. No, they don't do that. Tesla, Lexus and London in 1892. In 1893, Tesla and Weston House finally scored a major victory, defining it a victory
Starting point is 01:01:53 in the ongoing war of current. Which really isn't like, you know, directed at Edison, you know, in this case. I feel like Edison's, you know, battle or battles or moves during the war of current were very direct, like just very much directly shitting on AC and Weston House, where in 1993, Tesla and Weston House, they just do something successful, which I guess is, you know, their side of the war.
Starting point is 01:02:16 They win the bid to light up the world's Colombian exposition, also known as the Chicago World's Fair. Now we talked about the world's fair back in the HH Holmes murder cast episode, suck number 25. HH Holmes killed an unknown amount of random tourists who came to stay at his murder castle while they were in town for the expo or working at the expo or moved to town because of the work provided by the expo.
Starting point is 01:02:38 Well Edison General Electric had originally proposed to power the electric exhibits at the expo using direct current as the cost of 1.8 million and when that was rejected They got through a bit all the way down to 554,000 I love that difference You know just like Edison like we can't do it for a penny less than 1.8 million That's that's the the least expensive way we can even possibly do it with the technology Well, that's that's far too expensive Thomas.. I'm sorry, but we're going to have to look elsewhere. Oh, oh, oh, hold on, hold on. I just got some new figures in my head. Half a
Starting point is 01:03:11 million. We can never have a million. Like he cuts it by over a third. All right, I'm sorry. He cuts it. Yeah, it's down to like what, like almost like 70% less than the original offer. Well, then Westinghouse, their offer comes in at $399,000, so cheaper than the cheap new option from Edison. And this is a historical moment for Tesla because they win the bid, and now they're able to showcase their beloved AC on a big, big stage. Thomas King, Dickhead, Edison, tries to reign on Tesla's parade by banning the use of Edison's lamps at the Expo, but Westinghouse's company quickly designs a double-stopper light bulb, which allows them to sidestep some Edison's patents and they're able to light the fair anyway.
Starting point is 01:03:48 And it was a wild success, as Eric Larson describes in the main source I used for the H.H. H. The lamps that laced every building in walkway produced the most elaborate demonstration of electric illumination ever attempted, and the first large-scale test of alternating currents. The fair alone consumed three times as much electricity as the entire city of Chicago. There were important engineering milestones, but what visitors adored was the sheer beauty of seeing so many lights ignited in one place at one time. Every building, including the manufacturers and liberal arts building, was outlined in white bulbs. Giant search lights, the largest ever made and said to be visible 60 miles away, had been mounted on the manufacturer's roof and swept the grounds and surrounding neighborhoods.
Starting point is 01:04:42 Large colored bulbs lit the hundred foot plumes of water that burst from the McMoney's fountain. It was like getting a sudden vision of heaven. So, you know, very successful. So that's awesome. That was a nice year for Tesla. Next year, 1894, Tesla begins experimenting with what he referred to as invisible kinds
Starting point is 01:05:03 of radiant energy, which led him to possibly taking the first X-ray photo by accident. Tesla was trying to photograph a buddy Mark Twain in his lap. No big deal, no big name drop. But the only image that came through was that was a metal piece on his camera lens. So maybe kind of technically the first X-ray photo. 895 Tesla with the help of new financial backers, able to open the Nikola Tesla company. The aim was to market and develop a variety of Tesla's previously patented inventions and pursue new work as well. Alfred Brown from Tesla's earlier days joins in, brought patents from Tesla's work under Peck and Brown.
Starting point is 01:05:39 Very little ended up coming from it all other than the fact that they continued to manage Tesla's patents for years and years to come. Then on March 13th, 1895, Tesla has what is inarguably a terrible, terrible day for a scientist. His lab, catch us fire and burns to the ground. Notes, research, models all go up and smoke, and he is crushed. The New York Times quoted him as saying, I am in too much grief to talk. What can I say?
Starting point is 01:06:03 I can't imagine. I've had hard drives crash and that feels terrible You know my photos my documents My old emails that are all likelihood I would never looked at again, but gave me great comfort to know that I could if I wanted to no November of 1896 Tesla finishes work on a project on a brand new dam at Niagara Falls using his AC system The power generator from the falls will produce enough electricity to power all of Buffalo, New York. Now, this is considered by some to be his crowning achievement.
Starting point is 01:06:31 Niagara Falls, the first major hydroelectric power plant in the world. Dr. Charles F. Scott, professor emeritus of electrical engineering at Yale University, former president of the American Institute of electricalrical Engineers would say at the time, the evolution of electric power from the discovery of Faraday in 1831 to the initial great installation of the Tesla Polyphase system in 1896 is undoubtedly the most tremendous event in all engineering history. So, you know, high praise. Now wealthy for the first time, Tesla becomes a scientific free agent, spends the next 12 or so years bouncing around Manhattan,
Starting point is 01:07:07 rent in various spaces as the laboratorias. He can often be heard, muttering under his breath, just fuck Thomas Edison. I'll bury him yet. bury him in one of those ditches he reduced me to digging. We'll see who laughs last Edison.
Starting point is 01:07:20 Yes, we shall see. In 1898, Tesla freaks out an audience at Madison Square Garden. When he demonstrates his tele-automaton boat that was radio controlled, basically the first remote, the world's first remote control boat. People witnessing this hard to mentally process event because they never seen anything like this. They attributed the small boats ability to move to either magic telepathy or to the small monkey that appeared to be capped in it. Seriously, they had like a little monkey on the boat
Starting point is 01:07:53 and they truly believed that the monkey was the one controlling it. You know, just a totally normal boat captain monkey. Tesla tried marketing as mentioned to the US military but they didn't buy it at the time. Radio controlled item stayed fixed in the realm of play things until World War One When countries would begin to utilize it
Starting point is 01:08:08 Sadly, he did not decide to tour the world with his boat captain monkey and develop the rest of his life to fuck with people's minds That'd be great I introduced to you Zanzibar the world's first monkey boat captain tell him what he'd like him to go and he'll do it He understands all human language all of them and no one navigates the sea like Zanzibar. Tesla, Godfather remote control cars and drones. Dude, how cool is that? 1899, Tesla moves to Colorado Springs, Colorado,
Starting point is 01:08:35 and starts smoking so much weed. He gets good at hacky sack, becomes known for baking the most magical brownies you've ever tasted. He subscribes to a big, political, and spiritual ideology of just be cool, man. Just let it all happen, man. Don't need to just don't worry about it.
Starting point is 01:08:49 He stops eating meat, stops washing his hair, spends a long time with some musician friends playing 20-minute-long solos full of oh so many deeply grubby guitar riffs. No, he doesn't do that. He sets up an experimental station. He chose the location for its high altitude as he was interested in studying
Starting point is 01:09:03 the conductive nature of low pressure air. All this guy cared about was a scientific work. Still no romantic life. The dude would never ever date a single person. No rumors of love affairs. No strong indication. You know, he ever had a sexual experience of any kind. Probably shocked as Wayne every time I got a boner, you know, just until he conditioned it to just stay limp. What does big deal with limp dig? I like this. I feel like he understands you go to him on some level. He focus on Sparrow gun line. I focus on Jorke and Rassel. Get out of here, Chuck Tilly. You already showed up in the episode. You sound of a bitch. You had no place here. What is big deal? Go and get. Tesla really did unlike Edison. Focus is only on the scientific life. Edison was actually
Starting point is 01:09:39 father of six children. He's married twice. Dude, you know, found time to get it on. 1899, Tesla also looking for the ability to create a much larger working space for his growing experimentation Colorado. He announced his plans to create and deliver a long-distance wireless telegraph from Pike's Peak to Paris. So basically in 1899, he really is trying to invent the internet. Think about what this dude could do if he was alive now. Like if he were working on some kind of teleportation machine,
Starting point is 01:10:07 be him in a surround like Star Trek. Elon Musk would probably be his assistant, or maybe he and Elon would push each other, maybe they'd be rivals, like him and Edison. You know, be the war of space travel instead of the war of currents. I'm so amazed by the genius of people like this. Also in Colorado, he built a massive coil
Starting point is 01:10:23 that was new lab that was capable of producing millions of volts. He's able to produce lightning that could travel up to 135 feet with this. He studies it in depth. He also scared the shit out of the locals. He was like a dark wizard to these people. They couldn't comprehend him. What he was doing, he was a mad scientist. They probably thought he was working on some kind of Frankenstein up there.
Starting point is 01:10:39 Tesla began to know to strange signals from the receiver and his lab around this time. He began to speculate that he was picking up messages from outer space, from other planets. The media caught hold of this and had a field day mocking him. Playing with a Tesla was, you know, talking to Martians. Tesla himself went on to wonder about this for at least a couple years, making occasional remarks about it, but never solidifying whether the message was originated from or what they meant. He was widely mocked as geniuses sadly often are by the ignorant masses who just aren't
Starting point is 01:11:02 intelligent enough to begin to understand him. You know, he may very well have been the first person to pick up radio waves from space. Satisfied was experimentation in Colorado and June of 1900, Tesla moves back to Manhattan. And into the famed Waldorf Historia, the most prestigious hotel in New York City for decades. Kings, Queens, Presidents, Actors, Actors, Artists, and more stayed there. President Herbert Hoover actually lived there for 30 years after his presidency.
Starting point is 01:11:27 Gangster Bugsie, Siegel, owner department in the world of a story. Marilyn Monroe stayed there for several months. I may have at least walked by it once or twice. I might have been glared at by some hotel concierge who knew it and belong there. They know pretty good hotel in July of 1901, 45 year old Tesla plans to build a more powerful transmitter, with the aim
Starting point is 01:11:46 of advancing his radio-based wireless transmission system, finds himself in a race. Now against 27-year-old Italian inventor Guielmo Marconi, whom Tesla was convinced was using his own inventions to try and beat him in this race. Tesla secured $150,000 over $3.8 million in today's money from JP Morgan to build the Wardencliffe tower, aka Tesla tower and Shorm New York, an experimental wireless transmission station in this race. Tesla intended to transmit messages, even images across the Atlantic to England and ships see based on theories of using the Earth to conduct the signals.
Starting point is 01:12:18 Again, dude is trying to invent the internet at the dawn of the 20th century. Well Marconi won the race by transmitting the letter S from England to Newfoundland in December of 1901 and history has credited him as the inventor of the radio. Tesla was quoted as saying, Marconi is a good fellow, letting him continue. He is using 17 of my patents. To me, that's nerdspeak for, I still win. Marconi's technology is based on my technology.
Starting point is 01:12:45 When he makes money, I make money. When he invents I invent, I win Tesla's God. Tesla is the greatest scientist who ever lived. I don't know. Maybe Tesla could have just beaten Marconi outright. If he'd have just gotten a little bit more sleep, maybe a little better sleep. Maybe he should have set aside a little time
Starting point is 01:13:03 to invent a time machine and zip up to the future to grab himself a Lisa mattress That's right. That's right. Time suck is brought to you today by Lisa. Do you find yourself distracted? Forgetting things, making mistakes to work, not being able to quite beat another mad scientist in an ongoing nerd battle? Well, get some better rest. You stupid sleepyhead. Sorry. I shouldn't yell at you like that. At least it doesn't like it when I yell at you like that. A quality night's sleep really does make so much difference. And the right mattress is the difference between resting
Starting point is 01:13:33 and just laying down like a silly asshole who thinks you know how to sleep now. I'm sorry, sorry again, that was still too aggressive. Comprised of three foam layers that provide cooling pressure, relief, body contouring and support over 300,000 happy Lisa sleepers agree that Lisa mattresses give them the rest they need. So order your Lisa mattress online at Lisa.com,
Starting point is 01:13:52 slash time suck with the promo code, time suck. Try it risk free for a hundred nights. The Lisa mattress ships direct to your door and a convenient box with free shipping and free returns. Find the right mattress for you at Lisa.com slash time stock, get the rest you need tonight. You know, like my leg hurts, my back is stiff today. Probably because I've been on the road for a week and a half, not sleeping on my least mattress.
Starting point is 01:14:13 Damn, you hotel mattresses. I miss the memory foam. You know, that memory foam like feeling on my least, I miss the feeling of the mattress, not trapping my body heat, not trying to, you know, and then trying to sweat me out, who likes sweaty sleep, not me, not me. And by the way, it was confusing body heat, not trying to sweat me out, who likes sweaty sleep, not me, not me.
Starting point is 01:14:26 And by the way, it was confusing, it's not memory-photomy, it just reminds me of that in the best of ways. So again, get up to $160 off the Lisa mattress or $235 off the luxury super mattress and free shipping on the Lisa mattress at leesa.com slash time suck, enter promo code, time suck and check out, do it. Link in the episode description, you can also link over by pushing the lease button in the new improved time suck app and at the time suck website. All right.
Starting point is 01:14:53 Now back to Tesla being pissed off at Marconi, beating them in their battle to develop essentially radio. Not essentially, it is radio. Despite playing it off, you know, like always well out from Marconi wins this race, Tesla becomes obsessed with advancing his wireless technology beyond that of Marconis. It sends over 50 letters to his financial backer, JP Morgan, asking for more money to compete in advance the Wardencliffe tower of the next five years. He's able to complete construction and move his lab there in June of 1902. But other investors are busy dumping more money
Starting point is 01:15:22 into Marconi than Tesla, and the media also begins to turn on Tesla. Edison also still not done with Tesla in 1903. He further proves the statements about the dangers of AC power at Coney Island now, when he has that elephant executed for an audience of thousands. Top C was the circus elephant who had been labeled as too dangerous to stay alive after having killed three different men. To be fair though, at least one of the men she killed had tried to feed her to lit cigarettes. You know, making him a complete asshole
Starting point is 01:15:47 who deserved to be stomped out by an elephant. Edison built the poor creature, copper sandals, and then ran 6,000 volts to her system with AC power. Ah, 1904, or JP Morgan and other Tesla inventors were either cut and supported entirely or limiting funds to the point that Tesla had to take out a mortgage on his tower, to cover his living expenses at the Waldorf Historia. Astoria, excuse me, my 1906, his precious Tesla tower had been abandoned.
Starting point is 01:16:13 In 1906, Tesla opened offices at 165 Broadway in Manhattan, trying to raise further funds by developing a marketing in his patents. On his 50th birthday in July 10th, 1906 Tesla demonstrated a 200 horsepower, 150 kilowatt, 16,000 RPM bladeless turbine. Cool, but unfortunately this invention making very little money and his financial problems continue. In 1909, Mark Coney receives a Nobel Prize for contributions to the field of wireless communication. This apparently just about breaks Tesla. And then at the awards presentation ceremony, he tells the crowd gathered there that the award is dedicated to his mother for always being there
Starting point is 01:16:48 for him and always supporting him and also to Nikola Tesla who could quote suck his dick and die and go to hell. While this remark is a standing ovation and Tesla is devastated. Now, of course, that never happened, but Tesla's feelings were hurt. He'd yet to have one of them Nobel Prize and he felt he contributed so much more than Marconi. Tesla would actually never win a Nobel Prize. In 1910, Tesla sets up another lab at Metropolitan Life Tower where he'd stay until he could no longer afford the rent there, has to move out in 1914. 1913, his primary backer, JP Morgan, dies. 1914, he rents some space in the Woolworth building till he could no longer afford that rent either.
Starting point is 01:17:27 In 1915, money was continued and Tesla loses the Tesla tower now completely. No longer has been used for almost a decade anyway, but now it's lost to foreclosure, the tower is demolished. Also in 1915, Tesla sues Marconi's company for infringement on his wireless patents and loses his case. Also on November 16th, 1915, a Reuters news agency reports from London that Tesla had
Starting point is 01:17:51 won the 1950 Nobel Peace Prize in Nobel Prize, excuse me, in physics, that it was given to Thomas Edison and Nikola Tesla. However, on November 15th, a Reuters story from Stockholm states the prize is being awarded to Sir William Henry Bragg and William Lawrence Bragg for their services and analysis of crystal structure by means of x-rays. Some Tesla biographers believe that Tesla and Edison were actually supposed to have won that award. They were offered at first, but that they hated each other so much that they refused to
Starting point is 01:18:21 share the award. Now the Nobel Foundation has said that this never happened, but the rumor persists. Tesla moves around Manhattan for some years after this, retten various spaces, struggling to find any investors, then moving out leaving piles of unpaid bills behind him. He continues to ask Morgan's JP Morgan's son after JP had died for for money, but doesn't get it, ends up in near bankruptcy. 1922, 66-year-old Tesla moves from the wall to the store, to the St. Regis hotel now, where he stays for roughly a year,
Starting point is 01:18:52 continues to struggle with money, and falls in love with the pigeon. This is that pigeon thing we mentioned while back. Seriously, that's when you know your life as in complete shambles, when you fall in love with the pigeon. No one falls in love with the pigeon in any kind of romantic way while their life is working out really well and they're terribly mentally stable. Tesla began to fixate on these local pigeons during this tough time during his life that he would visit daily in a nearby park and then moves on to feed them from the window of his room. And then he claims that one of
Starting point is 01:19:20 particular visited him and regularly and becomes injured. And then it's rumored that he's spent over $2,000 building the contraption to help this little pigeon help her broken wing heel and her leg, she heard a leg and her wing. And then the mess from these birds and more unpaid bills of course leads to his eviction. And Tesla would later say these birds, I have been feeding pigeons thousands of them for years. But there was one, a beautiful bird, pure white with light, gray tips on swings. That one was different. It was a female. I had only to wish and call her, and she would come flying to me.
Starting point is 01:19:55 I loved that pigeon as a man loves a woman, and she loved me. As long as I had her, there was a purpose to my life. That is so funny slash sad to me. In late 1922, then Big Scandal for Tesla, he and the pigeon get married, and then the pigeon dies from eternal bleeding when Tesla tries to consummate the marriage on the wedding night, and that is insane. I don't know what ended up happening that pigeon. I don't know what happened to Tesla's sexy love pigeon.
Starting point is 01:20:23 But I do know for the next several years Tesla continued to bounce from one hotel to the next, leaving more and more unpaid bills as patents on his previously profitable inventions, ran out, and new inventions are not being used. In 1931, Kenneth Sweeney, a young writer who had been associated with Tesla for some time, organizes a celebration for the inventor of 75th birthday. Tesla received congratulatory letters for more than 70 pioneers in science and engineering, including Albert Einstein, and he's also featured on the cover of Time Magazine.
Starting point is 01:20:51 The cover's caption is, all the world's his powerhouse. It notes his contribution to electrical power generation. And the party went so well that Tesla made it an annual event for a while, in occasion where he would put out a large spread of food and drink and invite the press over to see his inventions. And here's stories about possible new inventions, the claims of an increasingly mad scientist.
Starting point is 01:21:12 1931, longtime rival Thomas Edison also dies that year, not also dies like, but he dies that year, the age of 84. So really, you know, between the 75th birthday party and Edison dying, pretty good year for Tesla. And then following this pretty good year, Tesla starts to really kind of unravel mentally a bit. It is 1932 birthday party. He claims he's invented a motor that runs on cosmic race. And no, that never happened. That is not a thing that exists. And then in 1933, he tells reporters that he's on the verge of producing a new form of energy. He said it could be tapped with an apparatus that would be cheap to run, and then it would last 500 years.
Starting point is 01:21:48 He also tells reporters he's developing a way to photograph the retina to record human thought. No, he's not developing any of that. And then Tesla takes his crazy talk even further in 1934 when he says he has now built a super weapon called a death ray. He has now shifted into the character of the cartoonish mad scientist Super villain. On surprise, he didn't hire an assistant called Igor at this point. Igor, should I find folks who have come to our party that I'm quite serious about my death ray?
Starting point is 01:22:15 Of course, Master Tesla! It once Master Tesla! Igor, point the death ray at Markonnie's laboratory. Yes, Master Tesla, at once, Master Tessler. Yes, can you sense your imminent death, Mr. Marconi? Are you ready to be exploded or disintegrated? Or this rated, perhaps evaporated? Even I am not sure what the death ray will do to you.
Starting point is 01:22:39 It's not quite finished. You'll find tuning in the death ray, but soon. Oh, yes, soon, I will death ray you. you should have never crossed a murderer, Mark Coney. I'm a murderer. 1934, Western House Tesla's former financial war of current backer begins to pay him $125 a month, probably $2,100 in today's dollars. In addition to covering the cost of his rent at the hotel New Yorker, to kind of keep him afloloat This would he do this for the remainder of Tesla's life And it was listed as a type of consulting fee despite limited consult consultation ever taking place The rationale for why they did this kind of varies depending on the source
Starting point is 01:23:16 But but a likely theory is that rather than doing it purely for humanitarian charitable reasons Western House were just concerned about the bad press that would come from Teslas, demise, given his current struggles, and he's their previous star inventor. In 1935, Tesla makes another crazy claim, as birthday party. When he turned 79, he announced his invention of a pocket-sized oscillator
Starting point is 01:23:39 that would destroy the Empire's state-building. That's not a thing. Following this party, Tesla became a recluse for his final years. Tinkering on various inventions, talking about having built death rays in the like after dying of a heart attack at the age of 86 on January 7th, 1943. He's talked about so many death rays, no sound of things before, but after he's discovered by a maid, his body is, the FBI sends the alien property custodian to seize his belongings despite him having been a citizen in the US for years.
Starting point is 01:24:08 And then John G. Trump, professor at MIT was asked to inspect his items over the course of three days. Make sure he's got no death race. Nothing similar. Funny that they were worried enough about what he was capable of inventing that they thought he may have in fact built a death ray or some kind of a super weapon. But check it out, you know, after he dies, make sure the whole hotel is not going to explode. Random trivia, by the way, John G. Trump, President Trump's paternal uncle. And while this Trump never found a death ray,
Starting point is 01:24:35 despite some conspiracy theorists thinking he did and then it now belongs to the Illuminati, of course, he did find an issue of a comic book called Pudy and Juju. They found issue number 107 from January 1919 called the Electric Mad Wizard, an issue dedicated to Nicola Tesla. In this issue Pudy takes a job as Tesla's laboratory assistant and is not allowed to tell Juju what's going on with this new job. After a few weeks, Juju can't take the mystery and simply must know what Pudy is up to. Especially since Pudy came home one day with so much static electricity that their cat, Dr. Dingles, was nearly shocked to death and then hit under the couch for three days.
Starting point is 01:25:13 So Juju snuck into Tesla's tower to see what was happening only to find Pudi strapped down to an examination table like Frankenstein. Juju watches Tesla pull a switch and then giant arcs of lightning stab to the air hitting Poodoo I'm putting Poodie with enough juice to make Poodie's bones glow Juju screams don't do it Tesla. Don't you says are my Poodie? And he punches Tesla in the face knocking to the ground and flips the switch back down and then Poodie yells at Juju Why'd you just put the zip on my zaps Juju?? We were playing who can be the longest light bulb, and now Tesla wins. He stayed lit for two whole days.
Starting point is 01:25:51 And then Juju said, I didn't know how Poodie. I thought he was killed in and you. And then Tesla popped back up, punched Juju in the face to return to favor. After Juju fell to the ground, Poodie yelled, watch out Juju. And then little dizzy birds circling around Juju's head. Juju yelled back, too little, too little, Pudy! And then Tesla smiled and said, put that in your lunch box, surely. And they all laughed and laughed and laughed.
Starting point is 01:26:19 And then they took turns, shocking the ever-loving, but Juju's out of one another and saying cruel things about what a jerk Thomas Edison was the Ant and now back to the death of the real life Nicholas Tesla January 10th Tesla. This is January 10th 1943 Tesla honored by the New York mayor at the time Fiorio Fiorio Fiorio fucking His last name is LaGuardia. He's the man who LaGuardia airports named after him.
Starting point is 01:26:45 I should have looked up pronunciation guy in his first fucking crazy ass to tell you name. Fiorello! Fiorello! Fiorello LaGuardia! Uh, who read a eulogy over the WNYC radio, violin music played in the background. Two days later, Tesla's funeral witnessed by 2,000 people before his cremation. Uh, few months after his death, US Supreme Court overturned Markonney's patent in favor of Tesla, and the credit do
Starting point is 01:27:07 was finally bestowed on Tesla for the invention of the radio. Now this may have been nothing more than a political move, just so they could save money by not having to pay Markonney. Because Markonney was suing the US for using his patent, so we're all one. But either way, the verdict stands and patent wise, Tesla now technically the inventor of the radio. While most historians feel that Markoni is still, it's still, excuse me, the real inventor.
Starting point is 01:27:29 A 1952 Tesla's nephew, Sabah Kuzanovic, received the remains of Tesla's estate in Belgrade. The entire shipment contained 80 trunks. Tesla's ashes currently reside in the Nikola Tesla Museum there. And that is enough. That's it for today's time suck timeline. Good job, soldier. You made it back. Barely. Nikola Tesla came a long way for the little Serbian village city.
Starting point is 01:28:03 Comedish locked that son of a real priest and a homemaker Impressive. He possessed an extremely special mind devoted his entire life to the exploration of his many many ideas And sure he had some wacky ones towards the end But as they say it's a fine line between genius and madness and he exemplified that and I have a few more things to say about his life But first I found a video on YouTube called the Genius of Nikola Tesla, David Ike. Yes, Space, Lizard, Whistleblower, and King Wacadoodle, David Ike has posted his thoughts on Tesla. So we have to do an idiot of the internet. Idiot, I'll be into that.
Starting point is 01:28:43 Ike posted a nine minute video of his thoughts on Tesla on October 5, 2017. And long story short, the gist of Ike's thoughts are that the Illuminati didn't want Tesla to succeed, because he wanted to make the world a better place by handing out free energy. So the reptilians and their slaves and bloodlines continually worked to discredit him and blocked the success of his many inventions. Of course, that is what I believe. Let's see what the geniuses in the comment section of his video think. User Dizzy Dish has some interesting thoughts. Dizzy Dish types,
Starting point is 01:29:14 the world does not have any geniuses being born in this modern world. They are not all caps, being taught and or trained to think outside the box. I often wonder how many geniuses have been aborted by a woman that has no morals. I don't agree with either of your thoughts here, Dizzy Dish, and also your thoughts don't agree with one another. If the modern world is incapable of fostering genius because no one is trained to think correctly, then aborting babies wouldn't matter when it came to killing future geniuses.
Starting point is 01:29:50 You got to pick one stupid argument there. Either modern society doesn't allow for geniuses, doesn't cultivate genius, or we don't have geniuses because of abortion. You don't need both in there. User task goes a little harder on Dizzy Dish than I just did. Posting Dizzy Dish, you need help. Such poor grammar and a clear inability to think. It's a shame that your mother didn't abort you.
Starting point is 01:30:14 Yeah, Dizzy Dish hadn't overplay for that. And then true moron, YouTube user investigator posts, just like we're brainwashed into thinking that Einstein was a great genius, were also brainwashed into thinking that Tesla invented wireless communication. I arrest my case. Here's his case, you guys. He rest his case. Who cares that he didn't actually present a case? Who cares that he didn't actually have a case?... or that he didn't even hint at a case he just threw out a few opinions that the entire or near-entire scientific community would strongly disagree with
Starting point is 01:30:50 and then he rests uh... okay what an investigation he is i don't like bats and also i find slugs repulsive iris my case hey math is harder for some people to learn than others. And I like my iPhone, okay, but I kind of wish I had a new iPhone now.
Starting point is 01:31:10 I rest my case. Spaghetti is delicious, but if you think about it, some people prefer sushi, huh? Case rested. Fuck it idiot. Uh, and last one today. Uh, Proteus Games. These the pseudo, excuse me, the pseudo intellectual, the internet, the person with all the answers who was impressed by nothing. Proteus isn't impressed by Tesla genius because he or she doesn't
Starting point is 01:31:37 believe in individual genius just as a concept. Posting, an idea does not have an inventor, an idea has a time. The idea you perceive to be unique is pondered by others subconsciously. Perceptive individuals share information when in a meditative state. An inventor, by way of patent, is only the first person to articulate and lay claim to the idea. Translation, I'm as smart as Tesla. I'm as smart as Einstein. I know all there is possibly to know about everything because I'm a perceptive individual who can enter a meditative state. Translation, I have very little formal education and
Starting point is 01:32:15 rather than feel bad about that or be jealous or insecure or even at least respected, you know, that others have it and it has value. My ego has led me to denounce it across the board and elevate myself to the level of genius without having to put any work into education or anything whatsoever. I just clear my mind and bam, I'm a fucking genius too. Meditation.
Starting point is 01:32:38 Well, I'm gonna say that no amount of meditation in the world is gonna give me the ability to create a hydroelectric dam or revolutionize the use of fucking anything in the technical world whatsoever. I have no problem admitting that other people are way smarter than I am. And Tesla, pigeon lover or not? Way smarter than me. You know, way smarter than me when it came to tech and probably most other things, if not almost everything else.
Starting point is 01:33:00 I'm no genius. Thankfully, I don't think I am also an idiot of the internet as well. It is an internet. It is an internet. It is an internet. Okay, so time for some last thoughts on Tesla before we wrap up today.
Starting point is 01:33:17 At the end of Tesla's life, he hit a mast roughly 300, at least 278, but the numbers a little hard to pin down is they spread around 26 countries, patents around the world. While many of his inventions have not been utilized, he was instrumental in the development of much the technology we take for granted today. Like, you know, if something you use uses AC power, alternating current, you know, you have Tesla to thank. So you very likely have Tesla to thank for the for your house, being lit up at night, your appliances, you know, you're able to run because of the power
Starting point is 01:33:47 coming into the house, even if they're working on DC voltage, it's likely that the power is being transformed from AC to DC inside the house. As work with Weston House spread the use of electricity immensely, the Tesla coil helped with the creation of radios and TV, Tesla developed much of the groundwork that was likely used by Marconi in his radio development and just so much more.
Starting point is 01:34:08 And part of what may have enabled Tesla to be so productive and revolutionary with the ideas he had was the possession he had of a photographic memory. Now most psychologists or many at least claim that a true photographic memory, where you can recall anything you've ever seen with perfect clarity is impossible. But Tesla claimed to have it or at very least he may have had something very close to it.
Starting point is 01:34:28 He was known for his ability to seemingly memorize entire books. He spoke eight languages, a Serbo creation, a Czech, English, French, German, Hungarian, Italian, and Latin had the uncanny ability to create his inventions without drawing or physically mapping them out. He preferred to just visualize their construction in his head, which is unusual. He'd have this to say about his ability. He'd say, when a word was spoken to me, the image of the object, it designated which presented self vividly to my vision.
Starting point is 01:34:58 And sometimes I was quite unable to distinguish whether what I saw was tangible or not. This caused me great discomfort and anxiety. I mean, if that's true, it's like, I mean, God, this guy, it's almost like a curse that kind of intelligence he had. Can you imagine just like you're able to imagine something so vividly that you're basically able to trick yourself into thinking like it may be a tangible thing? Like, it's like he had a certain amount of, like the properties of like LSD or some kind of powerful hallucinogenic drug in his system at all times. He was able to channel it will, but it sounds like, you know, like would channel more
Starting point is 01:35:35 powerfully than he would have liked. This was particularly troublesome for him when his mind would fixate on something horrible. You know, like his brother's death, it would just feel like it was happening right there again. He began to practice the art of controlling these visions by fixing his mind and other things. And he wrote that he exercised the skill habitually, pushing his own bounds, saying, this I did constantly until I was about 17 when my thoughts turned seriously to invention. Then I observed to my delight that I could visualize, with the greatest facility, I needed no
Starting point is 01:36:01 models, drawings, or experiments. God, if you could just like troubleshoot shit and tell your head like that. with the greatest facility, I needed no models, drawings, or experiments. God, if you could just like troubleshoot shit and tell your head like that. Tesla was plagued by what he referred to as luminous phenomena his entire life. It was something that he felt he had no control over in any regard and they seemed to generally manifest
Starting point is 01:36:16 or in stressful, exciting, or dangerous times. He claimed that visions of flames, occasionally accompanied, they're kind of like little lights that he would see as well as distressing pain. As though his brain was on fire In one instance described in his book he claimed that he had gone on a shooting expedition in Paris And then the following three weeks were plagued by the phenomena
Starting point is 01:36:34 He was then invited to attend another and he quickly declined Alluring to the possibilities of phenomena possibly being like some kind of premonition So who knows what that's just about like Like I said, special mind, rare genius. And now let's talk about how little sleep he got. I'm just amazed by that. Tesla claimed to only sleep two hours a night later in his adult life, and just take occasional small naps,
Starting point is 01:36:58 or like a little additional tiny cat naps throughout the day. This claim may seem outlandish, but accounts were verified during his youth of playing cards or pool for stretches up to 48 hours, continuously with limited impact. He also spent a stretch of time working in this lab in which he was up for roughly 84 hours straight.
Starting point is 01:37:14 That's three and a half days. Friend and journalists can, a suizi confirmed that Tesla almost never slept. I do not understand how in the hell that is possible. And it's not like it destroyed his health. It clearly wasn't that detrimental. I mean, lived until he was 86 years old. He may have lived a long life partially due
Starting point is 01:37:31 to consistent exercise and diet. Very consistent. He was never out of shape from 1888 to 1926. Right, so for almost 40 years, Tesla remained virtually exactly the same physically. So for almost 40 years, Tesla remained virtually exactly the same physically. He was six foot two inches tall and 142 pounds. Dear God, I've never been that consistent. You've seen pictures of me from 10 years ago.
Starting point is 01:37:55 And pictures of me in the past few years have seen me recently. You know, I don't look the same. I'm about 80, 90 pounds heavier. And the same height, man. Yeah, this meat sack has a little more meat in their sack than Tesla would have. That's crazy though, and just to be that consistent, he walked eight to 10 miles a day.
Starting point is 01:38:11 Another form of exercise, weird form of exercise, he claimed to utilize was, he would curl his toes 100 times per foot each night. He thought that helped stimulate his mind. And he also just very regular with his meals, he had a regular dinner often alone at around 8 p.m. every night. He was convinced that others ate too much and exercised too little. Well, you know, no argument there.
Starting point is 01:38:30 That's probably most people in society. He was proud of his well-maintained physique and health. He eventually became a vegetarian and then went on to a much more extreme diet later in life. It was essentially nothing more than milk, honey, bread, and vegetable juice. God, this legendary self-discipline. And once again, during the biography of a legend, I feel like a lazy, slop slash monster.
Starting point is 01:38:51 I almost don't want to take a drink from my iced milk right now, but I'm going to. One last thing before we wrap up. Let's hear Tesla's thoughts on why he remained alone throughout his life as reported in a newspaper interview in 1924. Now I really do want to take. I don't know what, no. During the research I was drinking them, I'm not going to drink on the mic. I think that's rude, but now I'm looking at Mocha. This is what he said. He goes, I always thought of a woman as possessing those delicate qualities of
Starting point is 01:39:21 mind and soul that made her in respect far superior to man. I had put her on a lofty pedestal, figuratively speaking, and ranked her in certain important attributes considerably higher than man. I worshiped the feet of the creature I had raised to this height, and like every true worshiper I felt myself unworthy of the object of my worship. But all this was in the past. Now the soft, voice gentle woman of my reverent worship has all but vanished. In her place has come the woman who thinks that her chief success in life lies on making herself as much as possible like man, in dress, voice, and actions, in sports, and achievement
Starting point is 01:39:56 of every kind. The world has experienced many tragedies, but to my mind, the greatest tragedy of all is the present economic condition, wherein women strive against men. And in many cases actually succeed in usurping their places in the professions and in industry. This growing tendency of women to overshadow the masculine is a sign of deteriorating civilization. Practically all the great achievements of man until now have been inspired by his love and devotion to woman. Man has aspired to great things because some woman believed in him,
Starting point is 01:40:25 because he had wished to command her admiration and respect for these reasons he has fought for her and risked his life and his all for her time and time again. Perhaps the male and society is useless. I am frank to admit that I don't know if women are beginning to feel this way about it and there is striking evidence at hand that they do, then we are entering upon the cruelest period of the world's history. Our civilization will sink to a state like that which is found amongst the bees and another insects, a state where in the male is ruthlessly killed off. In this matriarchal empire, which will be established the female rules, as the female predominates the males are at her mercy.
Starting point is 01:41:03 The male is considered important only as a factor in the general scheme of the continuity of life. The tendency of women to push aside man, supplanting that old spirit of cooperation with him and all the fairs of life, is very disappointing to me. And now it's from this, yeah, interview of Texas paper and Galveston actually in August 10th, 1924. So, Tesla, you know, was a genius, but also very much a product of his time. You know, dude, worship women for a while and then became easily intimidated by them when they wanted, you know, God forbid, to join the workforce. Translation for his rant to me is, women are confusing to me and that makes me feel stupid. So, you know, fuck women. Even geniuses can be real dumb dumbs. They're like even geniuses can be real dumb dumbs. Now let's move it along to today's top five takeaways. Time, suck, top five takeaways.
Starting point is 01:41:54 Number one, Nikola Tesla contributed mightily to the development of the alternate and current electrical system that's widely used today and discovered the rotating magnetic field, the basis of most AC machinery. Number two, Tesla and Thomas Edison battled publicly over what was the better power source, alternating current or direct current. Edison won the battle initially and made a great deal of money. Tesla won the battle in the long run, but died broke. Number three, next to Edison, Tesla's main scientific nemesis was Italian inventor.
Starting point is 01:42:26 We all know Markoni, who's credited with inventing the radio, even though after Tesla died, Tesla was given credit for inventing the radio first based on patents. Number four, Tesla did not invent a death ray, but hilarious and awesome that he claims as much. And number five, new info. Did Tesla as many conspiracy theorists and places on the internet claim create free energy? In a word, no. There is a belief in certain parts of the web
Starting point is 01:42:55 that big businesses want to keep the truth of free energy away from the public because too many companies would go bankrupt if free energy was unleashed to the public and given to the public. It's the same rationale behind the argument of the, you know, or the thought that cancer has actually been cured, but Big Pharma is keeping that truth from the public because of the money they would lose.
Starting point is 01:43:13 And look, I get that logic. I see that motive, and I don't put that past people to do. However, that doesn't mean it is true. Tesla worked himself into bankruptcy bankruptcy trying to produce wireless energy based on Tesla coil principles. You know, was the purpose of his Tesla tower? Did he think it was possible to create enough wireless energy to someday power the entire world, essentially for free? Yes. Did he figure out how to do that? No. And no one has since, although many have tried, the United States and Russia both had test facilities, developed during the Cold War,
Starting point is 01:43:48 based on Tesla's wireless power theories where they tried to do that, but no one has been able to figure it out. It may not even be possible. Time suck. Tough five take away. So there you go. Tesla is sucked. I hope it made some of our science suckers happy with that one. Tesla let an incredible unique and interesting life. Now it's happy to suck him. And based on what I know about him, I think it's safe to say that this is the first time he's ever sucked.
Starting point is 01:44:17 Unless that pigeon lover had a bigger beak than I'm imagining. Big thanks as always to the time suck team, the high priestess of the suck harmony belly camp, Jesse Guardian of Grammar, Doberner, Reverend Dr. Joe P always to the time suck team high preesis of the suck harmony belly camp Jesse guardian of grammar dobner reverend dr. Joe payasley time suck high priest Alex dugen the bitlixer team danger brain space lizard merch wizards access to peril queen the suck embossed of everything Lindsey Cummins big thanks again to OG bow jangles research assistants and my sister Donna Hale what's her nickname how about uh how about Donna the dumb dumb destroyer? Maybe the dummy destroyer. You know, she's a teacher
Starting point is 01:44:51 after putting education in the brains of uh of children every every every nearly every day. I'm gonna go I'm gonna go with dumb dumb destroyer. I like that at least for today. And so what's up next week? Next week we suck Andrew motherfucking Jackson. Andrew Jackson's seventh president of the United States and also a goddamn savage. When a man named Charles Dickinson called Jackson a worthless scoundrel, a paltrune, a coward in a local newspaper, an H-06, the future president of the United States challenged his accuser to a duel. At the command, Dickinson fired.
Starting point is 01:45:24 He fired first. He hit Jackson in the chest. The bullet missed Jackson's heart by barely more than an inch, in spite of a serious wound Jackson stood his ground. Didn't even fall down, raises pistol, fired his shot to struck his foe dead, killed him. Jackson would carry around the bullet in his chest, as well as another bullet from a future duel for the rest of his life. Historians estimate that old Hickory may have participated anywhere from 5 to 100 duels. Jesus, so much to learn about that crazy bastard next week. It's going to be very
Starting point is 01:45:58 exciting. Right now, time to hear from you with today's Time Sucker Updates. Alright, hilarious first update from Faith Wolsey, who unintentionally used one of the Time Suck Apps new features to her detriment. Faith wrote in via the app saying, I've been listening on Spotify from last can finally decided to download the Time Suck app. The first episode I decided to listen to is the drunkest fuck episode. Towards the end of the episode you sounded way more shit-canned than I expected. I.e. slow talking slurred speech.
Starting point is 01:46:34 I chalked it up to the obvious and carried on with life. Next episode I listened to is the same. Unbearably slow slurred speech. I'm like, what the fuck? Is he just doing all his shows fucked up now? I mean, cool that you're thinking all, but damn Lucifina. Anywho, I decided to check out two more episodes to see if the trend continued. Sure as shit it did.
Starting point is 01:46:55 It then dawned on me that perhaps there was a lag or some technical term I'm not aware of that caused the app to slow down just enough to make you sound like consistently drunk as fuck. If a drunk is fuck episode, hadn't been the first episode I listened to on the app, I wouldn't have listened to three more fucking episodes at three quarter speed. Thinking you were totes wasted, good times, hail Nimrot.
Starting point is 01:47:19 Haha, oh my god, thank you for sending in this message. Yeah, you can listen to the episodes now at different speeds. It sounds like you were at actually half speed. Because we don't have the three quarters. It goes all the way down to half speed. And yes, I sound very, very drunk. I just, I love so much that you powered through three more episodes. I mean, my god. That had to take you about four hours each episode. You poor thing.
Starting point is 01:47:44 I appreciate your dedication. I think I would have given up God, that had to take you about four hours each episode, you poor thing. I appreciate your dedication. I think I would have given up, I would have smashed my phone or something. I'm glad that you are literally up to speed. Now yes, you can set it to the, obviously the normal speed on the app, which I would recommend for long term listing.
Starting point is 01:47:58 Another speed, as far as very old speed, and more related update comes in from Time sucker in space as they're Jason King Who writes dear great sir doctor Reverend doc Dan come into third last the Mohik Mohicans I am currently writing this from Nimrod's ball sack as indeed I finally joined the secret suck and have reached the final operating the Level of true freedom within the cold to the curious all Jess aside I did want to leave an honest and heartfelt message about how the suck has touched me in so many intimate ways.
Starting point is 01:48:29 I would like to give a shout out to my fellow space lizard, C. Hughes 92. For introducing me to your podcast just under three months ago, in that time, I have binge every damn episode and have to just say, wow. You, my friend of create something truly spectacular and so powerful that even Jim Jones himself must smile down from heaven as he rhythmically converts dough and tea
Starting point is 01:48:48 to his pelvic and client faith. The fact that I can already say so much of these references today speaks volumes about the amount of knowledge you have decimated and your ability to do so in a professional yet side splittingly funny way. Enough praise for your shame, cocktail. I want to share just a brief note on what time suckers meant to me. If you haven't guessed, for my ostensibly chosen username, I am in fact in medical school
Starting point is 01:49:09 at Michigan State University, hoping to graduate soon and go into pediatric neurosurgery. Sorry, I didn't write the username in the notes. I was such a long career ahead. At times, it is oh so easy to fall into ruts, both in school, friendships, my marriage, three years, exclamation point, and life in general Yet this all changed when one of my longest known friends introduced me to your podcast I shit you not the very first episode was the Andre Chiquitillo one if I became after If I became after just that episode I guess if you become part of the curious after this episode
Starting point is 01:49:42 I am just as messed up as you are or you do one heck of a job as a podcaster. Either way, your podcast became the means by which an old friendship was recandled, as well as my interest back into medicine and making a difference. Time and time again, your episodes showcase the need for humanity to open its mind a little bit and be curious. From your personal support of various causes,
Starting point is 01:50:01 organizations, movements to the incredibly uplifting stories of various time suckers out there, making this flat ice wall circumcised globe a better place. I knew that I'd found a home. So with a long winded, thank you for sucking me these past four months. I wanted to leave you with something I hope makes you smile just a little bit.
Starting point is 01:50:16 While I assume this has been talked about before somewhere, with the secret suck chat room, social media, or other emails, regardless, you need to listen to your episodes on double speed every once in a while. Seriously, your green river killer or golden state, I always mix them up. High-pitched, small dick voice skits on double speed kill me every time. In fact, since I'm in med school and listening to everything on double speed, oh, wow, for time's sake, I didn't realize what you actually sounded like until I was halfway through the available episodes. Hopefully, get a chance to hear some of those skits.
Starting point is 01:50:45 No, it is pretty ridiculous. Triple M on double speed is great too. And also I would like to personally suggest Dr. Jekyll Mr. Hyde is a future suck topic. Yes, that would be a great, great suck. Wouldn't be a complete email without adding a suggestion. Once again, thank you so much for the incredible body of work that you've put together so far.
Starting point is 01:51:01 I hope my donation continues to fuel your desire to keep the suck strong. It does hail Nimrod and his gloriously intact hymen. Damn lose of feet in her lascivious lascivious. Excuse me, lady lumps, praise be to both jangles and his worship inspiring trans millennial heroism and keep on stroking that limp shame, cock master sucker. You'll get there someday, Dr. J. Man, thank you, Dr. J.
Starting point is 01:51:24 What a wonderful message. I love hearing these podcasts affect some of you in ways deeper than just, you know, some weekly laughs or some trivia. And don't get me wrong, that's okay too. I love that I can provide an escape from the heart sense of life. But when I hear stuff like this,
Starting point is 01:51:36 it feeds a cycle of inspiration. I inspire you. Then you in turn truly inspire me, which allows me then to inspire others. I really, this reciprocal relationship, and if you've heard my standup, it can be pretty negative. Right, I can get, that's where I let out my angst, and it's because I just, my travel, I see so many people,
Starting point is 01:51:54 not seeming to care at all about other people in society. Just so selfish, they don't seem to pay attention to their kids in public even, they don't pay attention to anybody around them, especially in only like strangers, obviously, they don't seem to pay attention to their kids in public even they don't pay attention to anybody around them Especially not only like strangers obviously they don't hold up indoors or say thank you or say please or or let someone cross the street at the Dam crosswalk They loudly curse at a family restaurant when there's clearly kids around they play ignorant hateful music It's full volume with the windows rolled down as they drive past a grade school or a park right right? As if everyone definitely wants to hear that they're talking
Starting point is 01:52:25 their speaker phone in the middle of a coffee shop, speaking louder than everyone else, you know, and not giving a shit how obnoxious they are. You glare at them, they glare back at you twice as hard. I see people treat their servers rude at the restaurant. I had a Delta ticket counter employee, profusely thank me the other day for allowing an elderly confused woman to accidentally cut in front of me in line.
Starting point is 01:52:50 This woman thanked me so much, not the woman who was confused, but the countrary to thank me so much that I asked her. I'm like, what was that weird? I mean, would most people really just what, just yell at that poor woman that there wasn't a turn? Excuse me, ma'am, I was next. Would they really do that? I mean, she was shuffling, not even walking, at least 90 years old, and she's by herself, you know, trying to make it through a travel experience. And this counter is instead that, yeah, most people would actually say something. Most people would actually, you know, point out that it was their turn, it was next.
Starting point is 01:53:15 She said she saw almost nothing, but just rudeness from people. It was just so refreshing to see that little thing, that fucking cost me nothing. What a way, one more minute to go then, wait at the gate, and that's a big deal now, how fucking sad is that? And I see all that, and I wanna just give up on the world.
Starting point is 01:53:31 I wanna just flush it down the toilet. I want some apocalyptic event to just purge the earth of the foul people that infected like a disease, and then I meet you guys, and then I get emails like that. And I'm reminded that so so so much good also exists So thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for the container reminders that there is still a lot of beauty and kindness and Curiosity and a yearn for learning and progress in the world and That's that it's also exhibited by people who don't mind a chikotilo joke as well here in there
Starting point is 01:54:03 So who would have guessed that? Not me, man. Not me, so I appreciate it. And now one more, another spider email from Time Sucker and Space Lister, Trisha Cotour, will end on a little comedy. I love these. Trisha writes, Dan Cummins, you evil son of a bitch. I listened to you as I'm getting ready in the morning for work and getting out the door.
Starting point is 01:54:23 Because I have to go and pack lunch and Some other assorted mom shit from my child aka aka the white devil sometimes I hear your bullshit and pieces but never hear you claim You were just fucking around it took me until the secret suck to realize that there are no row-nope spiders Damn you learn my lesson. I will now keep my ear pods in my listen holes instead of walking away from my phone I realized that the white devil freshman high school was listing two when she kept saying BABABLA, BABABLA, BABABLA, BABABLA, BABABLA Damn you Cummins, well played I love you, I love that, that is awesome, thank you, I love chicken Joe, man, once you come back, who knows now?
Starting point is 01:55:00 With a little cast of characters, who knows when they feel inspired to pop back into an episode? Does it make me want to do it? I still crack up randomly sometimes when I think about people believing that the spiders would work together. That was my favorite part of that lie. They would work together and that one spider would actually lift up your eyelid to allow another evil spider to crawl into your eyeball. And then like, I guess to let the eyelid snap down so that you had a hard time getting that spider back off your eye.
Starting point is 01:55:27 That would just be like the most cartoonish evil spider ever. Thank you again, everybody, for sending in your messages. Sorry, if yours didn't make it on the air or if you didn't get a response, you know, we try to respond as a team to all the messages, but sometimes I'm sure, you know,
Starting point is 01:55:41 some faults of the cracks. Never out of disrespect, never out of disregard. Appreciate you making time for us. Thank you all for making this community something to truly be proud of Thanks time suckers. I need a net. We all did well. That's all time suckers Thank you guys so much for listening talk to you spaces on Thursday talk to the rest you next week Have a great week. Don't devote your life to competing with Nemesis to the point that you fall into financial ruin and end up talking crazy talk about death race.
Starting point is 01:56:13 And most importantly, keep on sucking. Spaghetti is delicious. Spaghetti is delicious.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.