Timesuck with Dan Cummins - 27 - ISIS, Syria, and Islam

Episode Date: March 20, 2017

Yup. ISIS. We're talking about them Timesuckers! A brief explanation of Islam, what's going on in Syria, and how President Assad may be even worse than ISIS (and they're pretty bad). An intense, controversial, and entertaining edition of Timesuck!

Just south and a little to the east of Europe sits the middle eastern nation of Syria, a predominantly Muslim country with the population of some around 17 million people. Seven years ago, pre-current civil war, that population was closer to 23 million people. If you're not good at math, that is a huge population drop for only seven years

and exactly why there is an international Syrian refugee crisis going on right now. Boarded by Turkey to the north, Iraq to the east, Lebanon, Jordan, and Israel to the south, and the Mediterranean Sea to the west, Syria is a nation that was once part of the Silk Road, a nation rich in culture and history. One of its largest cities to Damascus, maybe the oldest, continuously inhabited city in the world, with some type of settlement dating all the way back to 9,000 BC.

Thousands of years before humans developed the ability to write and record the details of their metropolises. Basically, for as long as humans have walked the earth, some of them have been stolen, maybe skipping, be hopping around Damascus. It's a reference several times in the Old Testament in the Bible, even in the book of Genesis. So you know it's old, all right?

Everything in Genesis is super fucking old. And like the rest of Syria, so you know it's old. All right, everything in Genesis is super fucking old. I'd like to rest of Syria, it's geographically significant to Muslims. The site of one of the first four caliphates established after the death of the Muslim prophet Muhammad. The guy who hates being drawn into our cartoon, like no one has ever hated being drawn into a cartoon before.

He who must not be drawn. And since March 2011, Damascus and the rest of Syria has been embroiled in a terrible and bloody civil war where anywhere from 250,000 to half a million people have died, depending on which news source you choose to trust. Millions more have lost their jobs, homes, and way of life possibly forever. And since at least 2013, the media has been reporting about a new and influential player in this war, ISIS. Who are they?

What do they want? Why has their name become synonymous with evil? What really is going on in Syria? Is ISIS even the worst thing going on over there right now? Does the US have to worry about ISIS crossing the Atlantic? Why did I choose this clusterfuck sweet mother of God? What kind of worms that I just opened? How many death threats am I going to get for this shitstorm of a topic for today's episode? Find out all this and more on TimeSuck.

Happy Monday, you time sucker motherfuckers, downloads, ratings, and subscriptions are up again. So that means I know that more of you have been really sucking this past week. Thank you. Thank you for sharing this suck. A lot of wanting to suck on this upcoming Scientology bonus episode that we're now only about 25 iTunes reviews away from. 400 reviews, and you get a dissection of. Ron Hubbard's greatest work of fiction. Even sucking deep, you've been sucking hard, your next probably little sore, little stiff. These aren't little teaser sucks you've been given.

You've been sucking all the way to the back of your brain. Thanks to Cody, Florida for suggesting this topic a while back via email at adminattimestockpodcast.com. Also thanks to Steven Rock for suggesting Sasquatch last week, and I know some of you suggested Nelly. Can't remember who, I apologize. I haven't busy sucking on some ice this week. While many of you went deep on Sasquatch, locked Ness Monster, a little bit of Hitler,

I can tell when many of you listen midday, which means you're probably blown off for responsibilities and well played. You know, work and wait, when it's time for time suck. Your boss ever gives you shit, you look him or her, or it if you work for some kind of asexual robot cyborg situation, and you just say, I'll fuck, I'll get it, I'll get to work,

I'll get to work when I fucking get to it. Right now, I'm gonna keep on sucking, I'm gonna keep on sucking. Big thanks to all of you who chose to click that little PayPal donation button at the top of timesockpodcast.com and contribute to the show this past week. Very generous. Seriously, thank you guys so much.

All donations can just hang tight and a little fun, it gets a new equipment and whatnot. Thanks to all you time suckers who have also chosen to click the Amazon button at timesockpodcast.com, by what you were gonna buy anyway. Help out the show while doing a little bit of shopping for yourself. Love how much your timesockpodcast.com. Buy what you were gonna buy anyway. Help out the show while doing a little bit of shopping for yourself.

Love how much you time suckers suck. And now for some really good news. First ever time suck t-shirt is here. Bum-bum-bum-bum-bum. Time suck store is open for business. Click a little button, just under that PayPal button called Shop, and you'll be taken to the time suck Shopify store where the first product awaits.

A Heather Gray, Bella, Tribe Land, Cotton Tea, Soft, with a time suck logo right there on the front, always and forever. Will it be the first generation t-shirt of time suck? You can be time suck OG, getting on the ground floor of this movement of curiosity. And it's quality shirt. This isn't some stiff ass,

stands up on its own, carny bullshit tea. You got it, your kids, you know, school band fund razor. No, I'm not going to do that to you. My sweet bearded merch man, Eric, quality controls, each one before centered out to you, all folded up neatly, nicely placed in your mailbox, maybe placed in your doorstep, for a price, you'll probably even be willing to sneak into your house and force that teacher to ponder. Maybe hold you down, maybe hog tie you, maybe pull

that sweet tee over your head. You'll suck on that. Slap you on the ass and go about his day. So check that shit out. The more merch you guys buy, the more merch I'm gonna create. You want some new designs, some stickers, maybe a maybe a real live chupacabra branded with the time suck logo, like as part of some kind of whole pack of time suck chupacabras. Where you gotta got to get this t-shirt first. I hope you do, and I hope you enjoy it, and I hope you wear it.

And then I hope you take a picture of yourself wearing it and send it into me, and I'll put it on Instagram at Dan Comet's comedy, as long as you're wearing something in addition to the t-shirts, that is, you know. Crazy Instagram and their pure tanical image standards. And hopefully you've noticed that the time suck volumes a little louder now, you asked for it, I delivered it, okay? It's best I can't hold it's good enough. I'm no fucking tech wizard with the current equipment I'm using this is the loudest time suck is gonna be without massive volume distortion So if it's not loud enough still get some new goddamn speakers all right stop listening to those fucking

1996 radio shack speakers Thanks for the heads up on that thanks to the various time suckers who offered their audio tech expertise this past week and now before we get into the meat of today's episode before we explore and expose ISIS amongst other things Let's find out why I even went there at all with some time sucker updates Updates, get your time sucker updates! First update comes from Anduin Vade via Time Suck email and it's another thought on the Flat Earth episode, episode 19. Some new perspective, I like it. Anduin writes, I have thoughts as to why I believe people can become so invested in such

dumb fuckery as the Flat Earth theory, or similarly, the anti-vaccinators, which I need to do another time talk about by the way. I know several of you have requested an episode about anti-vaccination proponents. For those younger, say under the age of 21, it's simply because there's an ever-growing desire-slash desperation in the world to make one's own way, and simultaneously to belong. In these cases, I believe it's more so that these ideas are shoved into their heads while they're still malleable, reinforced in a fanatical, firm fashion, then little by little the thoughts become reinforced habits and over time those habits become a lifestyle. Ah, then it's well written. I agree. And actually this feeds perfectly into some info about why I think young people join ISIS, I'll get into at the

end of this podcast. You know, the desire to belong and be accepted by some group is a powerful one. Okay, so back to Andrew. And a lifestyle is like a person's religion attacking it will force them to spew bile and brimstone defending the ideas no matter how ridiculous. I suppose that's more so off the hip observation, perhaps almost cliche, but I believe it true nonetheless. And I believe it also, I think telling somebody what they believe is stupid, it's basically like telling them that they're stupid. And I've noticed people generally don't like to be called stupid, especially in my observation if they actually are pretty stupid.

They tend to just double down on their infuriatingly ignorant beliefs. Okay, back to Andy Win. Another thought on the matter is a lot of these counter-culture, counter-comments and ideas inherently stem from a simple human nature of going against the authority, whatever that authority is. I believe the prevalence of such theories as flat earth are due to an all-time high disapproval in government in the way society is led and conducted in all-time high amount of deception, which in invasion of our privacy thinks

to the social media age we've allowed everyone, authority included exponentially into our lives. Thus, we've garnered more rules, regulations, and laws than ever, more of which are blatantly corrupt. My idea is that flat earth type thinking is a direct result of people feeling increasingly pressured and bossed around by the various stems of authority in their lives. Just like any parent knows, human nature is such

that the more you tell a person what to do, the more they will try to rebel. Very true as a parent. I don't know if deception levels are an all-time high. I think propaganda has been around in our country and the world in general for a long, long time. I think there's definitely maybe the awareness of propaganda, is it an all-time high? Thanks to alternative media sources and the web, and people can find out they're being

manipulated easier than the past. Kids do naturally push back. That's for sure a surther individualism. I'd like to, you know, if I think my daughter and Roe is going to be amazing, it's something I almost don't want to tell her. Because I know the odds are she's not going to want to do it anymore just because I think it's cool. All right, so back to wrap up with Andy Winn.

So what would otherwise be Ja, a gay, baffling proclamations in theory now carries whole herds of disgruntled put upon masses regardless of education and intelligence. Although, as you've stated, I'd be interested to see a study correlation between education level and flat or theorist versus non-theorist, because I suspect having less of an education places less of a bullshit meter barrier

between yourself and whatever. And I think that what is going on is that people feeling most depressed are having this emotional slash psychological reaction. One, they cannot temper it with rational, educated thought. But as much as they may try to vault evidence for their arguments on the whole, their theories do not come from rational place,

keep on sucking and doing. Wow, man, I get so many emails like this, by the way, it blows me away. You guys are so kind to have smart, it actually makes me nervous. It makes me, the more people listen to the time, say like the more anxious I've been getting, that you're all gonna figure out

that I'm actually a lot more curious and Tenacious than I am intelligent But maybe that's part of the appeal. I don't know, but it keeps me pushing to raise the bar man The more stuff you guys write and I'm like man, I gotta I gotta be the top of my game. There's gonna be a revolt Well written peace and to win. Thank you for those thoughts Yeah, highly intelligent people can believe in highly unintelligent concepts because we're not robots, you know, not yet Not yet. Maybe it'll be cyborg someday, some robots with some human winners, robots with human winners. That's gonna be a theme song for my new cyborg show called RWH. No wait, that's not right.

RWHW. Robots with human winners. Okay, Andy went in a few few other time suckers also gently mentioned that maybe I'm cramming in too many segments, you know, disrupting the narrative hearing that initially pissed me off. Because that's exactly what my wife told me not to do before I did it. Just like we were just talking about, I rebel. Regarding one segment, the fancy pants word of the day I agree. It's gone for now. I know it's something you like it, but I do think the episode subject should be the focus. I mean, you know, doing the little updates,

I like that kind of serialize the show a little bit, include what you guys were thinking, and writing better than that. I should focus on the fucking story. All right, this next update takes me all the way back to episode one, the lizard illuminati. Someday, I feel like I'm gonna do a second episode about those goddamn space lizards.

This comes in from Sue Nutsen via TimeSuck email. Knootsen, probably, K-N-U-D probably, KNUDSEN, probably a Knootsen pronunciation. Alright, Knootsen. So I came across a David Ike podcast interview that I just had to share with you. It was three hours and the guy he was talking to was a true believer. And by the way, if you haven't heard this TimeSuck episode one, David Ike is the proponent of the lizard luminary theory. First let me say to this guy is even more fucked up in the head than you made him out to be. He is also a terrible speaker and it amazes me that people can even get through his lectures and interviews.

I only got through about one hour before I couldn't stand listening anymore. Anyway, I just listened to your Hitler podcast and heard your comparison to Trump. While I agree I was hoping to ease your mind by letting you know that for the first time in US history we do not have a lizard as our president. David Ike says he was blown away at the election results because clearly Hillary should have won since the Clinton family are descendants of the lizards. He then droned on about how Trump is bringing up fake news because he does not understand it's important to the lizard people.

I got a little confused and kind of zoned out a bit at that point so I don't really understand exactly what his point was. But he shifted gears and got my attention again. When he started talking about politicians doing children sacrifice. Yeah, that is an attention grabber. Apparently, when children go missing all around the world, he believes they are actually being taken by people in power, being satanically sacrificed and having their blood drank. He says that the illuminati feeds out the energy of children going to puberty.

Oh, and of course social services are in on it, and that is why children take it away from their parents for no good reason every day. So, hey, maybe Trump will figure all this out and put an end to children abduction since he is not a lizard. Or, as I said, what is more than likely going to happen is the Illuminati will kill him. Uh-oh. I also didn't realize that he ties in directly to the flat earth society. He believes in the ice wall, but he believes that the other side of that wall is the meaning of life. And that is why the government is actually hiding in front of us.

These fucking guys. Oh, and of course, we are in a second dimension. If you look at Russia through Google Earth, you will see a second sun confirming this theory. And last, but I'm sure not least, different races are nothing but an illusion to separate us. So we can turn ourselves with something that doesn't matter so that we can be, so that we are blind to the world as it truly is.

Unfortunately, I will never get back that hour of my life, but I feel better now that I share what I learned. Keep on sucking. Love the podcast. Sue Knutson. Ah, wow. I will keep on sucking. Sue, holy shit.

Trump may be killed because he's not a space lizard. And he can put it into the satanic sacrifice of pubic children, so the Illuminati, you know, because they're being sacrificed so they can get that sweet pub energy. And the meaning of life is behind the ice wall, of course, this. And we're all on some kind of second dimension, so much wonderful, crazy. David Ike has to be the most highly functioning paranoid schizophrenic life today. Why satanic sacrifice? Why did the lizards have to worship Satan?

Are they Satanic space lizards? I thought lizards kind of replaced Christian mythology, but apparently it's all wrapped up together and tied to flat earth. Oh, David Ike, you're one of my favorite lunatics ever. You and Manchin, you and Charles Manson should write a book together before he dies. Oh, and for you Trump supporters,

for the record, I don't think he's a new hiller. I just think he shares some dictator like tendencies. You know, he used to be in the boss man, comes from the corporate world and he's always had it his way. He loves that my way of the, or the highway kind of type of doing business. And I think given the slightest opportunity, he'd become the ultimate boss, the ultimate, the fireer, a dictator, you know, if you love to do, you fucking know I'm right. You know he would strip Congress, the Senate, Supreme Court, and the media of all his power in a second, if you could pull it off.

Alright, one final update. I can't get to all of them anymore. I probably won't even get to this many next time, but I just love these three so much. But I do give back, I will give back to you. If you haven't heard from me, if you sent me an email, just give me a little time or check your spam folder, I will give back. This last one comes in from Dan Drake and it sets up today's show. I have been a fan of yours for years, both as it stand up and as it's talking head

of world's dumbest. Love, time, suck, and genuinely appreciate all the work you do. Thank you, Dan Drake. A problem with you, here we go. Is that even though as a proud atheist, you're afraid to criticize Islam. You're afraid to criticize Islam. You've got a serious bite when it comes to silly old Christianity, but your balls shrivel up and you get quiet about Islam and got quiet about Islam in the Hitler special.

You can't honestly believe that in modern times Christianity is even one-tenth as chaotic harmful and downright evil in terms of religious fundamentalism. I'm also an atheist from a state where that is very frowned upon. West Virginia by God. And I know what it's like to stand up against religious fundamentalism and be hated for it. I love the show and listen to every episode, but it pisses me off that you willing to sink your teeth into religion every chance you get. And the first time you bring up Islam, you just sort of casually dismiss it. I find it cowardly to gut one religion and then back off another, stick to your guns against

religious fundamentalism and strive to get people to think for themselves. You're still in a mile-time favorites and I will listen to the show every week until people listen to it. I like when I disagree with people because I think it's an opportunity to see the world through someone else's eyes. I think you feel the same way and that's part of why I respect you so much. You're not afraid to speak your mind and even have an open dialogue about controversial issues.

I can't wait for the next episode. Please don't ever ease off the gas full speed ahead. Alright! Well, first off, that's email fired me up, Dan. I got it late late the other night. I was tired. I started thinking, fuck, have I been a coward? I'm on podcasts.

Am I that hard on Christianity? And then I calmed down. And I chose to really think about what Dan wrote. And he's right. I do attack Christian fundamentalism a lot. And I'll tell you why. My grandpa, his penicostal minister, was a penicostal minister.

He'd be tired. He's still freeaches from his computer. I lived next door to a fundamental pastor for years. I was raised in a town full of Christian fundamentalism. And for me, it's personal. Christian fundamentalists are the ones who told me repeatedly growing up that I was going to burn in hell. Told me my grandparents and my mom's side who aren't religious that they were going to burn in hell. My great grandpa, John, he was a gentle man and old Swedish immigrant who built a beautiful life for his family, never said a cross word to me, could get little robins and other little birds to eat

out of his hand, he was such a gentle dude, and he's gonna burn in hell. But the town drunk across the street from my mom's house who abuses his wife, he's going to heaven because he shows up at church here and there when his deadbeat asks his sober, man, fuck that. My mom and my sister, they're gonna burn, you know, I was permanently banned from a local youth group

for asking too many rational questions. You know, a lot of the Christians I happen to grow up around just had no use for me being me. And, but, I have to remind myself that I've also known and know many wonderful Christians. Warm, non-judgmental, intelligent, loving, giving people. People who traveled to Africa, build homes for the poor, people who adopt babies from impoverished areas

of the world raised them as their own. I have to remind myself that I become, from time to time, the exact type of judgmental asshole I despise. So if I come a little hot here and there on Christians, I do apologize. Love that neighbor. I always like that one.

I should remember it a little more often. It's the organized religion belief system I've beefed with, not every one of its believers. I hate oppression in all forms. And if religion becomes a vehicle for oppression, as it often has throughout history and still does, then I hate that vehicle. And like Dan says, I just wanna set you free.

You know, I wanna set you free from guilt, shame, the right to question your life. You know, if you believe Jesus loves you, that's fine. Maybe he does, maybe he's real. I sure as hell don't know, I haven't been dead, haven't come back. But know that in my own way, you hateful as I can be, I love you too.

And my mess just actually do come from a loving place. As far as Islamic fundamentalism goes, I realize that I don't go after it with equal vehements because of ignorance. It's not cowardice, I just don't know. It's a lack of personal connection. I've never, never personally been mistreated by a Muslim. I've never knowingly had my family judged by a Muslim. I'm a white dude who grew up in Idaho. I haven't fucking known any Muslims. Not really, you know? And I try not to go hard after something

I know nothing about. So it's time I learn. It's time we all learn a little something about Islam, especially radical Islam as it pertains to Syria. It's civil war, it's refugee crisis and ISIS. So thank you for making me think Dan. I do like it when we disagree. I like how you frame that disagreement man

That's that was that was a perfect template for criticism man start nice Then as a criticism and then nice is beautiful You know opening up some dialogues one of the main purposes of this podcast. So let's uh, let's take that energy Let's take this this this energy to learn something new and get into today's shit Thanks time suckers. I needed that. We all did. ISIS. What is it? You've probably all heard the term ISIS, which of course you know stands for Irish Seder Intercourse Survivors. Basically, ISIS is an international support group for people who've been sexually penetrated

by Irish setters, survivors that deal with a lot of guilt and shame. Did the dog pick them? Because secretly they wanted to be fucked by a beautiful Irish canon with that red silky sexy coat. Is it because they were carrying around a stick of beef jerky in their pocket? I'm kidding. ISIS, as you know, stands for illegal, sharp, instrument society. A group of people who have a strong desire to carry around disease-infected needles,

or who want to bring their switchblade to Hawaii for vacation. It's illegal there. Or maybe they want to walk around with a pocketful Chinese throne start in Kansas City, Kansas, which you can't do legally there. Okay, for real. ISIS, for real, the time of stands for the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria, it's also been referred to as ISIL, ISIL, the Islamic State of Iraq and the 11th. The 11th is an ancient geographical term.

What Western Europeans used to describe everyone east of Italy in the Mediterranean region and included land presently occupied by Egypt, Turkey, Israel, Iraq, Iran, Syria, etc. So if you hear that acronym, now you know. And ISIS is a militant extremist group associated of radical members of the Sunni branch of Islam. Islam, a religion with more than two billion followers worldwide, has two main branches, Sunni and Shia. But before we even delve into those branches,

what it means for Syria, what it means for ISIS, what even is Islam? So I can get my head around it. I checked out Islam for dummies, seriously. I love the dummies, series of books, website articles for simplifying complex issues. I feel no shame reading a book with dummies written on the cover.

I do wish they could maybe not make them all bright yellow. Like a fucking, might as well have them just glow or maybe have a strobe light on them, just to alert everyone that you're reading a dummy book. You know, they could tone it down a fucking, my soul, my soul have them just glow, or maybe you have a strobe light on them, just to alert everyone that you're reading a dummy book, you know, they could tone it down a bit, but whatever, Islam defined, let's get into it. Muslims are followers of the prophet Muhammad. Muhammad was a dude living in the city of Mecca,

a city in present day, Saudi Arabia, around, and around 610 AD, the angel Gabriel appeared to Muhammad and started chatting him up. Now Gabriel by the way, he's like God's postmaster. He runs God's Amazon delivery service or at least he used to he hasn't show up a lot anymore But he used to pop in all the time back in the olden days The angel Maroni took over for Gabriel to tell Joseph Smith about starting Mormonism in the 19th century Maybe maybe Gabriel was tired that day. Maybe at the day off. Maybe it wasn't his territory Maybe Gabriel was tired that day. Maybe had the day off. Maybe it wasn't his territory. Maybe Gabriel

Handles like the Middle East and Moroni handles the the Eastern U.S. Seaboard Seaboard. I don't know. It's very confusing. It's almost like it's crazy But anyway Gabriel was working a lot back in the day He spoke to Daniel in the Old Testament of the Bible. He told Mary about Jesus and the New Testament and he showed up in Islam Well Gabriel tells Muhammad. He's got some big news, like super big, he's like, yo, Muhammad, you are God's guy now. I know a lot of people are real hot on Jesus right now, and he's cool, he's fucking cool, you're cooler.

You are God's new and final prophet. And from that moment until Muhammad's death in 632 AD, Gabriel tells Muhammad a ton of shit. And Muhammad writes it all down, and he creates a Quran, Islam's holy book, moment until Muhammad's death in 632 AD Gabriel tells Muhammad a ton of shit. And Muhammad writes it all down and he creates a Quran, Islam's holy book, Islam's Bible if you will. And in 622 Muhammad and his small band of followers immigrate from Mecca to the town of Yathrib, which would become Medina, and the first Muslim colony is born.

And it takes up quick, just like Justin Bieber, after his first album, just bam, it's there, it's not going anywhere. And 630 Muhammad leads the army of his growing Muslim community against Mecca, which submits peacefully, and now his empire has begun to grow unearnessed. By the time of Muhammad's death, just two years later, most of Arabia has accepted Islam and become part of the Islamic community. Muhammad is then succeeded by a series of rulers, Caliphs, under whom Islam, burst forth as a new major power on the world's cultural scene. In the seventh century, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like

Hansel and Zoolander, just so hot right now, so hot right now. And less than a hundred years, Muslim armies have incorporated most of the lands from the western border regions of northwest India, in the east to Spain and in the west, into a single empire called a caliphate. Now caliphate is a kingdom ruled by caliph and a caliph is a Muslim civil and religious ruler believed to be a successor of Muhammad. He's kind of like the like the Muslim pope combined with the medieval king. He's he's technically the shit. He's a

Pope king Caliphate dude. And as far as a beliefs go, a lot of similar beliefs in Islam to Christianity and Judaism, Islam, Christianity and Judaism comprise the three major branches of the Abrahamic religions. They all come from the same spiritual source and the teachings of Abraham, one of the first patriarchs of Judaism. Just like Christianity, more at a Judaism, so did Islam. And Muslims believe similar to Christianity amongst many other things that God created the world and all that is in it. It's a monotheistic religion, same as Christianity. One shouldn't worship other gods, or money, or power, or oneself. At the end of time, God will judge all people. If a person had fulfilled the divine command, he or she will go to heaven.

God calls upon all people to submit to his will as embodied in his revealed law. In fact, the world Islam means submission. Islam comes from the same root as the word for peace. Islam is often thought of as a religion of submission to God. So basically Islam is like fiduciary grade, or Muslims. They're the girl who gets tied up and God is the one who pleasurably whips them or whatever. I don't know, I never actually watch that movie.

I hope that reference though brought at least a few of you a smile because I'm probably gonna get some never actually watch that movie. I hope that reference though, brought at least a few of you a smile, because I'm probably gonna get some death threats for that one, you know. This episode in general is definitely gonna hurt my Islamic fundamentalist audience base. Actually, this podcast has been downloaded zero times in Syria, like exactly zero, I just checked. I got boosted up those middle eastern numbers. This is probably not the episode, it's gonna do that. But anyway, that's some of the basic tenets of Islam. And of course, there's the whole thou shalt not draw a picture of thine profit, Muhammad, especially a picture of Muhammad

with a dick on it, especially if the dick is near his face. That's extra bad. That's like one of the worst pictures you can draw in Muhammad. It's at Muhammad with like a dick touching his mouth. That's basically you've drawn yourself a jihad invitation. Actually, fun fact, there is no Islamic law against drawing Muhammad. Nothing in the Quran strictly bars portrayals of Muhammad, nada, but the faith like the Hebrew Bible's 10 commandments

has long discouraged any graven images. Scholars say to avoid the temptation towards idol worship, which is a big no-no. In some ways early Muslims were reacting to Christianity. They believed the believers had been led astray by conceiving of Christ not as a man, but as a God. Muslims, by the way, believe that Jesus was a prophet. They just don't think he was the son of God

or the final prophet. Anyway, they don't want the same thing to happen to Muhammad. They don't want his picture getting float around, a little cross is floating around. You know, it says, the prophet himself was aware that a people saw his face portrayed by people. They would soon start worshiping him, said, Akbar Ahmed, who chairs the Islamic Studies

Department at American University. That's what he told CNN. He said, so he himself spoke up again, such images saying, I'm just a man. All right, well, a couple more things about Islam, a couple more questions I had that I thought you may have as well. So why do Muslim women cover themselves up?

I've always wondered that. Well, here we go, the purpose of his job, HIV, J-I-B, Valiant in Islam is primarily to inspire modesty in both men and women. Women are admonished in the Holy Quran to cover their heads and to pull their coverings over their bosoms. Men are instructed in the Holy Quran to lower their gazes.

That seems like a fucking fair. Women, you gotta wrap everything up. Dude, you gotta look kind of downward. That's fair, right? Okay, chapter 24, verse 32 of the Quran, Allah says, according to the dude who said, he had the authority to talk to God on behalf of all humanity through Gabriel,

and say to the believing women that they restrain their eyes and guard their private parts, and they display not their beauty and embellishments except that which is apparent thereof, and that they draw their head covers over their bosoms, and they display not their beauty or their embellishment thereof, save to their husbands, or to their fathers, or the fathers of their husbands, or their sons, or the sons of their husbands, or their sons, or the sons of their husbands, or their brothers, or the sons of their brothers, or the sons of their sisters, or their women, or what their right hand possesses, or such of male attendants who have no wickedness in them, or young children who have not yet attained any concept of the private parts of women.

And they walk not on a style that such of their beauty as conceal is noticed, and turn you to all-all-t out altogether O believers that you may succeed. God fuck. It's like they got paid by the word back then, isn't it? Man, just on and on. And the brother of thy brother, and the sister of thy brother, and the brother of thy mother of thy sister

of thy brother's mother's lover. Wow, man, tighten it up. It's like nobody had editors back then. So basically, Muhammad was an anti-boner. He, Muhammad was anti-boner. He was even more anti-boner than the Christians of the Jews, which were also pretty anti-boner. It's a lot of boner, hate, a lot of boner, hate back then. Dude fucking hated boners, and he didn't want you

scandalous women with your scandalous women parts, getting our evil boners, our worked up, and ready for Satan's work. Cause you know what, because Satan loves boners, you guys. If you take away one thing from this episode, it's that Satan loves boners. Satan has yet to come across a boner,

he didn't think was top shelf. Satan himself is probably never limp. How side would that be? A limp, limp dick devil. That is no way to run hell, bro. First rule of hell. You gotta rule it with a hard dick. Alright, so the Muslims, they also do believe in

Satan, but their devil is a little different than the Judeo-Christian devil. He's not a fallen angel. He's a gin. Gin are a separate group of, and that's not G-I-N. It's not like I'm talking about liquor, talking about J-I-N-N. There are separate group of beings created by Allah before humans, and they live in a separate dimension. How cool is that? Man, aw, shit. Getting into some extra dimensions here. Extra points for creativity, Muhammad cool is that? Man, aw, shit. Getting into some extra dimensions here. Extra points for creativity, Muhammad. Maybe that second dimension, David Ike was talking about with lizard people.

Maybe that's where they are. So the Jin, they're kind of like a dark counterpart to angels. All law created angels and Jin's, but unlike angels, Jin's don't have to be good. Angels are just good. They don't have a power of choice. But the Jin's, they can be naughty, or they can just good. They don't have a power of choice But the gins they can be naughty or they can be good They get their supposed to worship a law just like us and then just like us. They don't have to they have free will

They have families and they leave their lives and their parallel gym dimension Except they live longer lives, I guess and they have more powers than we do because gins are kind of like genius They come from the same Arabian mythology So they have some magic powers, you powers. They can probably do fucking card tricks if they want to. They can enter our dimension, they can take on whatever form they wish, they can appear as a human or as a tree

or as a space lizard. They can possess people. You can be taken over by a gin and then a Muslim cleric or a mom can banish it from your body. Kind of like a priest performing an exorcism. I wonder if you're transitioning from like Catholicism to Islam or vice versa.

Like you got kind of like one foot in each world, could you be possessed by a demon and a gin? Wouldn't that be, wouldn't that be just a shitty day? Talk about being stuck up shits Creek without a paddle on two different creeks at the same time and two different Creek dimensions. Ooh, and jeans can be evil like demons. They can possess objects and turn them be evil, like demons. They can possess objects and turn them into evil objects.

Most Muslims believe that Satan known in Islam as Iblees. It's a gin. Satan is also known in Islam as shaytan. And Iblees is the worst gin. He is a nalli gin you guys. He's fucking sonati. You'll be like, Iblees, are you gonna be good? Are you gonna be cool today?

And he'll be like, yeah, yeah, no, I'm gonna be super good. I'm gonna be super cool. And you come home a couple hours later and there's no milk in the fridge and he ate your last fucking banana. He's got a little banana in his beard. You know he's guilty. You know it's the one you were saving for a sweet smoothie.

And you're like, dude, that's not fucking cool, Ables. And he's like, dude, what did you expect? I'm the devil. Okay, so hopefully I'm getting all this right right I've been on it so many Islamic message boards and fundamentalist websites this past week I am positive I'm on an FBI watchlist I've been googling jihad and ISIS more than an actual terrorist I've been carrying around a book called jihad academy around at the airport that's that's a good way to get a lot of concerned glances.

I'm gonna tell you that. Okay, another question I had is, why do dudes wear turbans? Well, actually, Muslim and don't need to wear turbans, Dan. Some do, out of a wish to emulate the Prophet Muhammad, because he wore one back in the day when it was fashionable in the seventh century, but he don't have to, has nothing to do with the Korean.

Seeks, they wear turbans, and that's a completely different religion, Eastern-based. Odds are, if you see a Muslim wearing a turban, you're probably a little bit racist. You're probably in fact seen in Indian who you think is a middle-eastern person. So let's talk about the branches of Islam a little bit. For Christian comparison of those main branches, I mentioned a while back, the Sunnis and the Shias, think Catholic and Protestant kind of. Not that the analogy works perfectly at all. Maybe Sunni's for starters can kind of be like Catholics in the sense they're the biggest group. Sunni's dominate Islam more than the Catholics

dominate Christianity statistically speaking, where Catholics still a little bit more than half of all Christians are right around half. But almost 90% of Muslims worldwide are Sunni, and Sunni followers believe that Muhammad had not appointed a specific successor, and many years after his death and significant debate followers chose uh... abu bakir sedic who became the first caliph and abu was one of muhammad's father-in-law one of his father-in-law's i.e. he had multiple

wives at one point uh... muhammad had nine wives at the same time dude these dudes love to have multiple women to sleep with didn't they? just religious justification for polygamist fornication. Ah man, a lot of those anti-boner dudes love getting down with multiple women. How does that not tarnish the message? Because the world's fucking insane, that's how. You know, it shows up in Judaism, Christianity, Islam,

Mormonism, whatever. Just preach sexual suppression and then go bang one of your many wives, you hypocritical dickhead. People love being part of a group, no matter how crazy that group is. It's how religions, cults, obvious pyramid schemes, all that kind of shits, tarts. So one of the positions within the Sunni religion

is that if a mom's a type of priest, although one doesn't have to be formally ordained. One under Sunni, I believe, in a mom is like a prayer leader. A Muslim's pray five times a day by the way, dawn before sunrise, midday after the sun passes high. It's point, late part of afternoon, just after sunset, between sunset and midnight. Must be a bitch from Muslims

living near the Arctic Circle up in Sweden. Like when in June, the sun rises at 3.30 AM, sets at 10.08 PM. Devout, Islamic, fundamentalists living in northern Sweden. They must hate their lives so much. For so many reasons. This is coldest fuck here. I want to five people in town who aren't white.

Everyone's terrorism all day long, and I get four hours of sleep at night. Anyway, the ritual of Salat is intended to keep Allah at the forefront of one's thoughts throughout the day. That's why they pray so much, to keep thinking about Allah. Students also believe that individuals can approach God directly and that he will present himself

on judgment day. And again, so many other boring elements that will just bog down this narrative. Students also believe that individuals can approach God directly and that he will present himself on Judgment Day. And again, so many other boring elements that will just bog down this narrative. So, it was getting to Shia. Shia is the next biggest group. Shiaites. Shia believed that Muhammad did pick a successor and then it wasn't Abu Bakir Sadiq. Oh shit, it's on now, motherfuckers. You put the wrong dude, Sunnis.

Oh, you messed up. It was supposed to be Ali, I'd be in I'd be Talib. Muhammad Sunalau, you blew it, you blew it. I'm kidding, I'm kidding, I'm kidding, the Shiites are wrong. You blew it, Shiites. If I'm gonna cater to a group of Muslims,

it's gonna be as soon as they have by far the biggest numbers. So if any of you as soon as you're listing, I just wanna take a second to say, you guys get it. I just listen, it's the crazy Shiites that believe in Ali, Abin Abid, to leave, like what the heck? You guys are totally right.

Sorry about the irreverent jokes earlier. Those were all directed to the Shiites, all of them. The Sunis are so much more right. You guys are so much more right than Shiites. I get a lot of your wars now. I do, I would attack those heretics as well. They don't get it. They don't fucking get it. To leave, get a lot of your wars now. I do. I would attack those heretics as well. They don't get it. They don't fucking get it.

To leave. Get out of here. All right. This branch of Islam is less about the individual's relationship with God and more about the clerics' interpretation of the Quran. And moms have more power with the Shiites. So in a way, they're more like Catholics actually than Protestants. Unlike Sustani, the Shiites do not believe that humans will see God on Judgement Day.

So I guess that's another point of contention. And then there's numerous other Islamic derivatives. There's the Okhmedia, Branch of Islam, a newer branch formed in the 19th century. There's the body, a variation dominant, only in the small Middle Eastern and Muslim nation of Oman. One of a few groups who oppose the rule of the initial

Umayyad caliphate, there's also the Sufis. Sufis isn't really a branch per se, it's a mystical version of Islam. They can be practiced within Sunni and sheyah faiths, like while all Muslims believe that they are on the pathway to Allah and hope to become close to God and paradise after death, after the last judgment. Sufis also believe that it's possible to draw closer to God and to more fully embrace the divine presence in this life. And they're like hardcore, like fucking dance around and shit. possible to draw closer to God and to more fully embrace the divine presence in this life. And they're like hardcore, like fucking dance around and shit. There's the Druze, who are related to Islam, but are not really Muslim.

The Druze faith originated in Egypt during the reign of the 6th Fatimid Khalif, Al-Hakim, Biyameer al-Ala, some Islamic theologians began to proclaim Ala-Kim a divine figure. They're interesting cats, the Jews. The Jews consider Socrates, Plato, Aristotle as prophets as well. They don't consider other Abrahamic religions false, just different parts of the same truth. The Jews respect Muhammad as a prophet, believe the Quran was sent by God, yet they believe their new beliefs are kind of have, you know, it's like another newer testament super seed Muhammad's teachings and

most interesting to me the the droves have permitted no conversion to their faith at all since 1043 AD That's that's not a good way to get a big religion you guys You know with the droves you either got in on the ground fucking floor or you were born in Too bad more religions can't do that just stop accepting new members. You know at least droos you either got in on the ground fucking floor or you were born in Too bad more religions can't do that just stop accepting new members, you know at least the rest of us alone There are there are no droos at missionaries not part of their deal All right, so now we understand a little bit about Islam Let's understand a little bit about Syria and civil war which gets us into ISIS All right, Syria became an independent nation in 1946 following a brief post-World War II period of occupation

by the French. Prior to 1946, the area now known as Syria had been ruled by approximately a ton of people. So did it's time to explain that with a quick, some time, line. 5.83 BC, Syria becomes part of the Persian Empire. 3.32 BC. It was conquered by Alexander the Great and becomes part of his empire. 300 BC becomes a Greek colony. 64 BC becomes a Roman province.

278 BC, the Syrian queen, Zinobia, proclaims herself queen of the east and overthrows the Romans. 636 AD, the Byzantines rule Syria until his Lament forces overthrow them in 636 and by 661, the Umayyad caliphate is formed. 750 AD, the Umayyad caliphate is overthrown by another caliphate, the Abbasid dynasty.

A dynasty that lasts until the Mongols destroy in 1258 AD. Listen to Time Sox 6 about the Battle of Nishipur, if you want to hear about how the Mongols treated the Middle East. 1516 AD, the Ottoman Empire, and the Turks take it over. 1831, the Egyptians take it over. 1840, the Egyptians are like, nah, that's okay, never mind, I'll give it back to the Ottomans. 1918, an Arab prince, prince Faisal. He takes it over from the Ottomans. He becomes king and 1920, and then almost immediately gets his ass kicked by the French who take it over and try to turn it into a Christian country. A constitution is drawn up that requires the Presidents to be Christian, the prime minister to be a Sunni Muslim, and the speaker of parliament

to be a Shiite Muslim. That lasts until 1946 when the French leave. After some jockeying for power and the vacuum left by the French void there between various Islamic factions and secular political parties, the Ba'ath party emerges as the main player. And that's weird for me to say, so I'm just going to say bath, although I think it's Ba'ath. I like to say bath. So just go along. 1947. So it's 1947. Syria has been ruled by various versions of the Bath Party, a secular and socialist political party in theory. Initially, there was a parliamentary democracy democracy then a military coup in 1963, then another military coup in 1966. Basically battles for control from various members of the same party.

Hafez al-Hassad eventually gains consistent control over the military and the government by 1968. Hafez al-Hassad creates a constitution, formalizes a parliamentary system of government, adopts a permanent constitution for the country, which had been ruled by military fiat in a provisional constitutional document since 1963, and then he rules until his death in 2000. So then 2000 AD, Bashar, Allah Assad succeeds his father as president and rules to this day. Timeline out. Good job, soldier. You've made it back.

Barely. BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! So, as you can see, non-stop fucking turmoil for a few thousand years. As detailed as my timeline was, I left a lot out because it's just too much information.

It's so dense. Various other groups that, you know, taken power for a few years here, a few years there, even during the reign of one group, there was continual in inviting, posing leaders, taking the reins at various times, tons and tons and tons of battles and wars. Different ethnic and religious groups were migrating

in and out of the area over the years. You know, various Jewish people settled in. Syria a long time ago, the Crusades brought Christians, the French brought more Christians, Ottomans brought Turks, etc., etc., other smaller regional tribes, you know, settling in the area, you know, various little tribes of religions outside of Christianity and Judaism and Islam,

that it, you know, been in the area since the Mesopotamian days. It's very complex. Monarchies, caliphates, Roman provincial governments, on and on and on. And now in 2017, Syria is a democracy, in name only. In reality, it is absolutely a dictatorship. President Assad has the power to appoint members to the Council of Ministers, issue laws,

amend the Constitution, declare war. Just as he sees fit, approves government five-year plans. Per the Constitution, the president's supposed to only serve a seven-year term and maybe reelected just one additional time. But after serving his two terms, his 14 years, Assad changed his own democratic law, because he can do that. And, you know, runs, runs quote unquote for a third term in

2014 and receives 88% of the bullshit popular vote is fucking nonsense most academics and journalists believe the whole thing was blatantly It's an authoritarian regime Where Assad does as he wishes and now long last, we can begin to understand ISIS. OK, so ISIS started off as a splinter group from Al-Qaeda back in 2004, when Abu Mustafa, Al-Zakari, established Al-Qaeda and Iraq. Al-Zakari, Zarkawi, was one of the most wanted men in the world.

The US put a $25 million price on his head. He was a self-described jihadist. Now, a jihadist is someone who believes in a religious war in which Muslims will fulfill a series of prophecies that will result in bringing about Armageddon during which all righteous Muslims will be glorified in heaven. And this is very important to understand, because this is the reason that ISIS

and other groups are fighting, at least some of them, at least the ones who are not just going along to, I don't know, fucking rape and pillage or whatever. So they believe they'll establish a new and final series of caliphates leading to the final caliphate, which will bring about the final hour of human history, the Islamic state. Also believes that there will be a monumental confrontation,

essentially Armageddon, between the Muslim and quote unquote Roman forces, which now is just translates to the Western forces in the small Syrian town of Debeek. Now this is why their propaganda magazine is named Debeek. After the Muslims defeat the Romans, the remaining one-third of their victorious forces will then proceed to Constantinople, now in San Boul, to supernaturally conquer it by shouting al-Uqbar. This is why the Turkish language propaganda magazines title translates as

constanable. At this point, the first of 10 greater signs will appear, namely the anti-Christ or the Jal, to spread evil throughout the world, but not to worry Jesus, who is not crucified on the cross according to Islam, will return to earth over the white minaret of the Umayyed Mosque in Damascus, propped up by the wings of two angels, he will then kill the Dejol, with his 70,000 Jewish minions at the gate of Lod, or modern-day Lod in Israel. This is when Jesus will break across, an important symbolic gesture that proves that Christianity is a corruption of his truth.

Finally, all sorts of bizarre supernatural shit happens leading up to a bodily resurrection of the dead and the final judgment. It goes all fucking walking dead at the end. So I feel like a great movie, actually. Just jihad, sorry, and Jake Gyllenhaal, Duane, the rock Johnson, and Keanu Reeves, as white dudes, plain Middle Eastern dudes, Ray Leota, as a racist American general, directed by Ridley Scott.

I don't know. Anyway, Zaukawi and Bin Laden, they were aligned somewhat with the Taliban Muslims. That's a lot of us already know. Al-Kaeda had similar ideals to the Taliban, and the Taliban is just a fundamentalist group within the Sunni Muslims. They're like the Pentecostal snake charmers to the moderate Sunnis, even tempered kind of Lutheran type Christian. But Zarkawi is different than Bin Laden.

Bin Laden was born into extreme wealth, like extreme billionaire wealth, ran in wealthy social circles. Zarkawi was born a poor son of refugees raised in a slum in Jordan. Bin Laden used to send out eloquent, radical messages to his followers. The first times Zarkawi appeared to the world,

he was sending out a video for my rack in 2004, mutters a few words with a knife in his hand, then savagely cuts the head off in American hostage named Nicholas Berg, and that is exactly how you get a $25 million bounty put on your fucking head. So while Al-Qaeda kind of focused on the enemy abroad, Al-Qaeda focused on like kind of Western infidel,

non-believers, including America. So, Akawi, he focuses on the enemies nearby. Mostly the Shiites. ISIS hates Shiites. They hate it more than Christians. More than it hates the West. They consider Shiites, fake Muslims, who misrepresent Allah. And for that, they're going to die.

You know, kind of reminds me of my Pentecostal grandma trying to talk me out of going to Gonzaga because it was a Catholic university. She told me that the Catholics were fake Christians say Tannic even they had intentionally Manipulated and ruined the Bible with her awful interpretations of scripture and they were all gonna burn in hell aha fun times Well in Iraq the Shiites were the majority of Muslims and most parts of that country and Zarkawi wanted them dead authority of Muslims in most parts of that country, and Zarkawi wanted them dead, and tried to ignite a war

against him, but on June 7th, 2006, he's killed in a US airstrike, and he was after US people as well, because he felt like they were on the side of the Shiites, and there were infidelism blah, blah, blah. But as legacy lived on, the direct followers of Zarkawi, along with new fighters from both inside and outside of Iraq hysteria, broke from Al Qaeda, renamed itself the Islamic state of Iraq and late 2006, almost four months after Al-Zakari was killed.

Islamic State has grown steadily stronger over the next eight years, drawing Sunni Muslim fighters from across the Middle East and Europe who wanted to fight the Americans and to kill Shiite Muslims, ISIS, has been fighting the West. Shiites in any religious and ethnic minority that happens to be in its way ever since. And they've made a lot of progress in Syria, taking over much of the nation's territory, thanks to a large Sunni population,

and thanks to President Assad making Syria such a fucking shitty place to live for most people, that they would rather have a lunatic fringe group of Muslims trying to bring him out Armageddon in charge of their fucking town than Assad. Like how terrible are you at your job when they're like, ah, fucking, I'll go with ISIS. They seem a little better. So you know, is ISIS, you know, really the bad guy then in the Syrian civil war?

No, I don't think so. They're one of the bad guys. For sure. They're crazy, but I don't think they're the baddest guy. ISIS is bad. You know, they have done some horrible shit. Let's talk about that for a second before I talk about how much worse I think I saw it is. Between August 3rd and 14th of 2014,

Islamic State forces cut off in surrounded thousands of Yazidi civilians on Mount Sinjar in northern Iraq. At least 500 men are slaughtered, execution style with an unknown number of women being captured and sold in sexual slavery. At least 70 kids reported to have died of thirst. Jesus, well at least 50 of the elderly perished. The Aziti by the way are that's mostly Kurdish, ethnic minority who have their own separate ancient religion that goes back to Mesopotamian days. And because they're not Sunni Muslims, ISIS, you know, they don't give a fuck about them.

On February 15th, 2015, ISIS released a video showing the beheading of 21 captured Egyptian men. I saw a couple of stills. I do not recommend it. All Coptic Christians, which is the largest Christian denomination in the Middle East, the video states, calls them, refers to them as people of the cross. The massacre took place on a Libyan beach. After capturing the strategic town, just five miles from Al-Hazad Air Base,

where 320 US Marines are stationed alongside Iraqi forces. ISIS rounded up 45 civilians, some thought to be Iraq security forces and their families, and then burn them alive. Burn them in some cages. I don't know, I'm sure you've heard about that. If I can burn in people in cages, horrific. After a Syrian woman was found breastfeeding in public,

which is strictly against Sharia, Islamic kind of fundamentalist interpretation of the Kran law, like, you know, traditional religious law. A group of all female religious police called the Al-Khanzapagade tortured the women with a bear trap device clamped to her breasts. Tortured the woman, I think I said women. But yeah, ah, December 2014,

reports began to come out of Northern Iraq that some 3,500 captured Yazidi women had been sold to sex slaves, sex slaves, tortured, repeatedly raped, and they've done so much more than that. That was just random examples. I could go on and on and on for an hour about the atrocities.

And they intentionally do very heinous shit because they acknowledge it. They use terror itself as a weapon. They don't want to just kill their enemies, which is why there's so much fear around ISIS. They don't want to just kill you. They want to publicly humiliate and torture you, record your death, and then blast it out on social media

and YouTube, they're very technologically savvy that way to enrage the world. They want these videos to get spread around because their ultimate goal, remember, is to bring about Armageddon. And they feel like if the West comes over to fight them because the West is so pissed off about all these fucking atrocities, then the West is going to fight them in their land.

They're going to they're going to defeat them, you know, in that, in the city where they think the fucking Armageddon is going to go down the beak or whatever. And it's all part of their apocalyptic nightmare. It's vision. But but to look at ISIS as the big spooky bad guy in Syria, and elsewhere in the Middle East, it's to do yourself and the Syrian people a huge disservice. ISIS is fucked up, undoubtedly. But why is a group that seems so obviously horrific

able to recruit new members? Why are they able to take over Syrian cities? You know, they controlled up to 30,000 square miles of Syria, and many of it cities, as recently as late 2016. Is it because the local Syrians love them? That many of them want to caliphate as well? No.

Most Muslims are moderates, just like most Christians. Most Christians don't strictly adhere to the Bible. Any more than most Muslims strictly adhere to the Quran. ISIS is alive and well largely because Assad is even worse than ISIS. If you're being persecuted and oppressed by a tyrannical authoritarian regime that uses torture, willy-nilly

Just on the regular like Assad does you're gonna fight back eventually And Assad fucking he does love the torture reminiscent of early Nazi concentration camps and detention centers in the early 1930s The top you you end human human rights official on Tuesday March 14th 2017 just this past Tuesday Said that for thousands for tens of thousands of detainees to be released from serious prisons, he called for them to be released, oh, sorry, and also called for their torturers and executioners to be brought to justice as a part of lasting peace, like torture is a big thing with Assad. And in his torture and oppression, partially explains

ISIS's growth. Eventually, the beaten dog usually will bite you back. And even though, you know, you yourself might think ISIS is crazy, you know, you might still join it or at least support it or at the very least not getting this way if it's attacking the regime has been fucking you over for the last few years. Maybe the last few decades. Lack of social and economic opportunity, mistrust of a government, that's the perfect environment to grow extremism. ISIS would not be as nearly powerful as it is if life was good for the average person

in Syria. Well, like without Assad or someone like Assad, there's a very good chance there's no ISIS in Syria. They have a very symbiotic relationship. You know, Assad can kind of maintain his holding power saying, like, well, you know, if I'm gone, think about what's going to happen with ISIS, they're going to take over. So then people support him, even though he's fucking worse. Ah, if Syria had a strong and fair democratic government

that represented Kurds and Shiites and Sunnis and Turks and Assyrians and Christians and the Yazidi people and secular non-religious types, ISIS would probably be squashed out. But ISIS isn't going anywhere with a fucking tyrant like that in charge. A lot of citizens who support ISIS see it as the lesser of two evils.

They really do quote from Syrian citizen about ISIS, about the controlled city of Jerusalem. It says, at the beginning my parents were against Islamic State, but today they still prefer their authoritarian behavior to the anarchy prevailing in places controlled by the free Syrian army. That's Assad's army. It is true with the FSA, we were free to do as we pleased, but with them the city was not secure and we could be kidnapped by gangs at any time. So there's also that thing too. The ISIS is crazy.

They have at least some semblance of order. And the situation is so horrific for the average Syrian. Millions of regular people, man, trapped between Assad, who represent a theoretically secular government aligned with the Shiites, and then ISIS, who aligns with the Sunis, both fighting for control of the very same nation. They're constantly destroying Sunis, Shiites, other ethnic and religious groups, all cotton in the middle. We went over some ISIS's atrocities. Now, let me compare them with Assad.

Here's some stuff on him. More than 21,000 people were killed in the Syrian conflict in 2015. Most of them civilians, according to the Syrian network for human rights, the Middle East Monitor reported. The report indicated the Islamic State group, known as ISIS, has proved less deadly than the Syrian government this year. The regime of President Bashar Assad has been responsible for 75% of the casualties, mostly civilian according to the report. Of the 15,748 people reported killed by government forces of vast majority, 12,044

were civilians, 38% of civilian casualties were women and children. For comparison, ISIS was reportedly responsible for the deaths of 2,098 people, 1366 civilians. Oh, man, that's crazy. Counting serious, dead is become nearly impossible. This is from the New Yorker. The UN stopped trying more than two years ago, but groups monitoring the conflict to have estimated the number to be almost half a million. With the pace of killing accelerating each year, the war has emptied out the country

with some five million Syrians escaping neighboring countries and to Europe, straining the capacity of even those countries who are willing to provide asylum and humanitarian aid. The chaos has also played a fundamental role in the rise of ISIS, the bloodiest of the G-Hadi groups that have used Syria as a staging ground to expand the reach of terrorism. This is from the Guardian. Bashar al-Assad's Syrian regime is committing war crimes and crimes against humanity by systematically

using barrel bombs to kill civilians and destroy infrastructure in Aleppo, says Amnesty International. Based on more than 100 interviews with current and former residents, many of them survivors and activists, analysis of images and videos from the besieged city, the 74-page report documents quote, unthinkable atrocities, these include airstrikes that have killed mostly civilians, as well as arbitrary detention and torture. The city of Aleppo is withstood more than six millennia of pillage and insurrection, but the past three years have damaged more of its civilization and displaced more of its

people than perhaps all of its earlier conflicts. The ancient metropolis, one of the oldest continuously inhabited cities in the world, now split into two halves. The Syrian regime runs the west, and the armed opposition controls the east. God, the destruction in Syria is almost unimaginable. I'll put some photos up at timestackpodcast.com. And I want you to really good advice piece on a while back a couple months ago.

And it's, I mean, it's just, it's crazy the images you see. Like, imagine a neighborhood or a city that numbered in the hundreds of thousands a couple years back that's now a ghost town of just rubble and ruin, just fucking bombed to nothing. But there's still like a couple families trying to live there. Few kids playing amongst the mortarshell casings. That's a lot of Syria now.

I mean, this thing has been fucking torn apart by a ruthless regime struggling to maintain some power and wealth amongst the wreckages and a group of religious fanatics trying to bring about Armageddon. And most Syrians are just ordinary people caught in the middle. Just people who want to raise a family on a little piece of land, laugh, watch their kids grow up,

baby said the grandkids, pet the dog, have sex in a home, they don't have to worry about being bombed at any moment, walk down the street with that worrying about being beheaded. And because of that turmoil, so many Syrians are fleeing. In 2016, the UN identified 13.5 million Syrians requiring humanitarian assistance of which more than six million, or internationally,

or I'm sorry, more than six million or internationally or I'm sorry more than six million are Internally displaced within Syria and over 4.8 million refugees outside of Syria Wow, man, and so what do we do about this man? Should we ban refugees? Should we let Trump ban Muslims? Sure if you're a simple minded asshole if you want to shit on every ideal America was founded on ISIS has no fucking interest in coming over here and fucking shit up in the US. It's not a priority, I should say. It's not a priority, all right?

They want to mess up Syria. They want to bring us to Syria. That's where the caliphate is gonna be set up in their lunatic minds. They're not trying to set up the caliphate in North Carolina, right, oh. They know, that's not part of their religiously misguided insane plan.

So let's stop pretending they're a huge threat to life in the US. Our healthcare system is literally more of a threat to our lives than the ISIS. And stop thinking the average Muslim is a threat to the American way of life. 99.9999% of Muslim refugees hate ISIS. More than we could ever know, I'm sure. We haven't been terrorized. First hand, by those assholes on a daily basis for years, they have.

They just wanna get the fuck out of there, right? They wanna get away from those caliphate idiots. Man, the notion of banning Syrian refugees to prevent ISIS terror cells from establishing themselves in America, I think it shows a lack of understanding about ISIS as a gender. They're much more concerned with Shiites, and Turks, and other minorities in Syria

than they are with America. I think promoting American fear of ISIS is just mostly political posturing. When Trump tried to ban a Syrian immigration, somebody leaked a Department of Homeland Security memo stating that country of citizenship is an unreliable indicator of terrorist behavior in the US. All right, that's the Department of Homeland Security.

That's their fucking area of expertise. I think they know a little better than some other people in politics right now, no. So all that being said, would I want to live in a predominantly Muslim neighborhood? If they were just letting them all in? No, I wouldn't. I'm not glad you, I would not want to live in a predominantly Muslim neighborhood.

But I also wouldn't want to live in a predominantly Jewish neighborhood or Mormon or Christian or Hindu neighborhood. I don't want to live around, being surrounded by a bunch of religious people in general. I think it's all fucking nuts. Maybe I'm wrong, but what I really hate about the Muslim band is that it's obviously racist and xenophobic. Can't we act a little better than that in 2017?

And if you think I'm being dramatic right now, just replace ISIS with IRA. Think about that. Replace it with the Irish Republican army. Do you think for a being dramatic right now just replace ISIS with IRA think about that Replace it with the Irish Republican army. Do you think for a second? We'd start banning Irish refugees From coming over to America. Do you think for a moment? We'd sit back and watch the Irish citizenry torture bombed gas and killed and mask Get the fuck out of here. You look well. Well, they haven't they haven't been you know terrorizing the West They've terrorized white people. They've terrorized British people, right? They bomb fucking British people, whatever. You know, it's really not that different.

It's actually a pretty good analogy. But, you know, do you think we just let the Irish citizenry be tortured, bombed, gas, killed, and mass? No, we wouldn't. You know, God damn well, we'd never let that happen. So why are we so okay with letting that shit go down in Syria? Why is genocide okay in Africa? You know, it's because they don't look like white people.

I really think that's a lot of it. You know, if this stuff was going down in Britain or Iceland, we'd intervene. And I don't think that racism is specific to white people by the way. I think America was colonized by Muslims, you know, from the Middle East, instead of Christians from Europe, we'd be in Syria right now.

And we also wouldn't be helping Ireland, you know? If it was, it's just, it's just, God, it's crazy, man. We're just, we're herd animals, I guess. You know, we're more concerned with what's going on in our herd, or concerned with, you know, other cattle who look a little more like us than cattle who don't. And think about all the concern that Obama may have been in Muslim. That always drove me crazy.

Why should that matter? Especially as I read more about this stuff, it doesn't matter. I'll tell you why it does matter. It matters because a lot of uneducated hillbillies think Islam is evil, just inherently. Are there horrible messages, violent messages, misogynistic messages in the Quran? Yeah, there are.

But there's also the same type of messages in all the Abrahamic religions. Be fucking honest with yourself. Islam is no more fucked up than Judaism or Christianity. Saying one is worse than the other. It's like arguing that a goblin is scarier than a troll or scarier than an orc. It's assing night. But to many the word Muslim has become synonymous with evil, synonymous with terrorism. Fabama was Muslim, then he also must be evil. He must hate America, he must want to destroy it.

Man, I wish I could be the guy who thinks that sometimes. It must be nice to feel that just certain about the world, just to paint it only in black and white, how simple and convenient, how literally you have to think. What about the members of ISIS themselves? Man, are they just evil, cartoonish versions of humans, simple-minded bloodthirsty creatins, with no nuance, no complexity, just 100% evil, huh? Just all evil, full evil, no good in them.

God, come on, that's bullshit. Most of the members of ISIS probably don't even believe in ISIS. They probably don't even believe in fucking our kiddin' I've read some a lot of articles about how a lot of them don't even really know that much about Islam in general They're just middle eastern kids who've seen their families bombed gas shot at their whole lives They live in this rubble and ruin with no hope for a future that includes anything other than more rubble more ruined. They have no hope and I hate when you know when I hear people talk about how break them to America, it's just gonna spread that rubble and ruin over to this country.

Yeah, okay, right. Like letting Irish immigrants into the country back in the late 19th century during the potato famine, spread that potato famine to America. That is bullshit, come on. No, they'll come over and most of them are gonna lead normal lives. Will the few people kill and praise a law?

Yeah, yep, I'm not an idiot, of course they will. But you know what, Muslims and Middle Eastern people, they have murderous nuts, just like white non-Muslims do. You know, they'll kill some people, just like some fifth generation white American will kill some people, just like some fucking white idiot, white Christian idiot, whatever, you know, might go into a mall and shoot people up.

Yeah, it's not to create more of that. It's just like in some, some horrible new way. It's just going to, yeah, people fucking kill people sadly, regardless of color, regardless of religion. I think most of these fighters just dumb kids, they found a group that gives them some kind of measure of inclusion and controlling their lives. You know, I think about when I was a young, uh, counselor back in Spokane, Washington,

I was fresh out of college working with this group group home as a crisis counselor, working with these teens. And I remember hearing about how one of these kids staying with us, he was a neo-Nazi. I could not figure out why he would ever join that obviously horrible group. But then another counselor who had been doing it for a long time broke it down for me. She explained how this kid has no family. How they had how they've been out on their own, no one to watch over, no one to care for them, just taking advantage of their whole young life abused

as a kid, molested, living out on the streets, no hope for a better life. And then suddenly some group of dudes come around and just treat some like he's awesome. Like he's cool, be friends him, give them a place to stay, give them a job, give them a sense of purpose and family, give them someone to blame for all the wrongs he's endured in his young life, and that's how you create a skinhead. And that's how you become an ISIS jihadist as well.

And if we don't think about why people are joining groups like ISIS, if we don't think about the conditions creating a group like ISIS, then we're never gonna fix the problem. You can't just keep killing new members. And you know, you get, like what? That they're never gonna fix the problem. You can't just keep killing new members and you know, you get it, like what? They're just symptoms of the problem underneath. You got to, you got to fucking get to the source.

But now before we get to takeaways, let me go back to the beginning. Time-sucker Dan Drake's original assessment was that Islamic extremism is currently worst in Christian extremism, and I do think it's currently worse. I do agree. I do agree. Muslim extremist groups like ISIS and Boko Haram are doing a lot of evil shit right now. Like they're way worse.

There is no current Christian equivalent to a group like ISIS. Religious extremism is awful in all forms. But let's not confuse extremism with the rest of the converse. Islam is not evil. Muslims are not evil. Most of them are as kind and loving as most Christians are.

Now with all my preaching, do I think for a second I actually know what the fuck to do about ISIS? Assad, extremism, Syrian civil war? The refugee crisis? No, hell no. I would win the Nobel Peace Prize and be named Man of the Century. Probably Man of the Millennium, if I could solve that problem. The problems in Syria are so complicated. Even Syrian intellectual Haseen Al-Haj Salay, one of the most influential, influential Arab writers and dissidents as well as prominent intellectual voices of the Syrian Revolution says when asked what the West can now do to fix Syria. This is what he says. It's too late. It is far too late. That's that's the biggest expert out there. It's like, yeah, and that is just,

it's who knows. So who knows how to fix it all? But what I do know is that the average Muslim is no worse than the average Christian. That's why I really feel like I educated myself with on this week's episode. They're just different, you know? And I know I know that we should be kind of Muslims

and not xenophobic. It's hard on Christianity as I can be. I am nice to Christians in my regular life. I know and love many Christians. And now, after doing my research, I hope to know and love many Muslims, man. And I hope you do too. Life is so complicated, isn't it?

It would be so much easier if we could just say, like those people are evil, they're over there, like some fucking politicians always do. That's the problem, and this is the good part. Ah, that's not how life really is. And I think you all know that. But enough preaching for one Monday. Let's get into some top five takeaways. Time suck, top five takeaways. Number one, Syria is super fucked up right now. Roughly half a million dead since 2011 when the

war started and estimated 11 million displaced from their homes, and you thought your Monday was rough. No wonder I don't have any Syrian downloads. It is pure, horrific chaos. 2. Syrian refugees should absolutely be vetted for terrorist group associations before they come into this country, but banning all Syrian refugees is just as heartless and idiotic as banning all the citizens of any other nation.

Most Syrians are not terrorists. Most hate terrorism in a way most Americans will never even understand. And I think personally, banning Syrian immigrants is just gonna create more Syrian terrorists who hate the US. If we let oppressed Syrians believe a nation of immigrants doesn't care about their particular persecution,

doesn't care about their murder and mass. Well, you don't think that's going to piss them off. You don't think you see in that. You see in America just say, get the fuck out, stay away from us. You don't think that's going to leave some serious resentment. Add to their feeling of hopelessness, which is going to add to more ISIS recruitment. I think it will. Number three, Islam is divided into two main branches.

As soon as inshites and millions are dying because back in the seventh century, some ancient dudes thought Muhammad's son-in-law Ali was his rightful successor. And some other ancient dudes thought Muhammad's father-in-law, Abu Bakir was the successor. Q death and destruction for hundreds of years. Yay, crazy religion.

I do think, by the way, though, if we got rid of organized religion, we'd still kill each other. Something, it's something in us. Talk about like the symptom and the actual disease. I think religion is the fucking symptom of a disease as much deeper in humanity. We would still find other reasons to hate each other. Number four. Syrian leader Bashar al-Hassad is a ruthless motherfucker. His brutal Syrian leader Bashar al-Hassad is a ruthless motherfucker. His brutal, Assad the Naya prison, a special place to hold, torture, and kill those who

oppose him, has been called by some human rights activists, quote, the worst place on earth. That's pretty harsh criticism. One of the few who made it out recounted this to the Guardian, a detainee recounts details of the welcome party. The terrifying initiation ceremony that awaited new rivals fresh off one of the meat-fridge trucks used to transport prisoners close to the whereabouts until the doors clanged open. Beedings with metal bars and cables

were followed by so-called security checks during which women in particular were subjected to rape and sexual assault by male guards. As we waited for our turn, we heard the sounds of beading of people falling out of the truck. We heard people scream, said Jamal Abdul. Everyone was screaming, the guards and the prisoners.

This is the kind of shit that Syrians are trying to get away from. And number five, ISIS is insane, completely and totally insane. They actually think they're going to actively bring about a religious apocalypse. Millions and millions of people have believed the apocalypse is right around the corner for centuries now, and they've all had one thing in common. They're wrong. And yet thousands more are gonna die because of their fanatical beliefs. May have fundamentalism.

How could a word with fun in it be so tragically and completely devoid of any actual fun? Time suck, tough, right takeaway. Ah, we did it, time suckers. Episode 27 is in the can. That was an intense one. That was an intense one. Hopefully some of you are still gonna tune in for episode 28. I had to have horribly offended at least one of you

with that episode. That was the challenge you won. But I like it, man. Thank you for challenging me, time suckers. I learned so much when you do. I'm sure I made a lot of mistakes, but I now know far more about Islam, Syria, and ISIS than I ever would have if you had not kept pushing me on this project this whole time. So keep listin, man.

So keep on sucking. And tour dates coming up. I'll be the Jacksonville comedy club this weekend in Jacksonville, Florida. Got Cleveland coming up. Gonna be a hilarities downtown Easter weekend. April 14th through 16th punchline in San Francisco may 10 through 13th. And a couple of Phoenix dates just added. Gonna be the tempi improv on Thursday and Friday only April 6th and 7th. Gonna be working with the dudes from the Crime and Sports podcast on that one's gonna be a blast.

By the way, if you are a jihadist, I'm I'm going to be in Telehassy for the next three months, hiding in a bunker. I'm going to be in a Tally Hassy bunker. I was just kidding about all my tour dates and that's where you're going to find me. So until next time, enjoy your life. Enjoy your life. Keep thinking about all this stuff we talk about. Write me, if you disagree, write me if you do agree. Use that TimeSuck podcast.com, Amazon button. When you do your online shopping. And go get one of those hot, soft, tight, new TimeSuck t-shirts. Thanks, TimeSuckers. Thank you.