Timesuck with Dan Cummins - 341 - The Kirtland Cult Killings and Jeffrey Lundgren: 1 of 2
Episode Date: March 27, 2023The craziest cult story I had never heard of. Jeffrey Lundgren was a cult leader and a mass leader before being caught, imprisoned, and executed. What a wild ride he had before it all came to an end. ...Twisted sexual desires, doomsday predictions, and more.  Today I tell the first of two parts of this tale. Who was Jeffrey Lundgren? How did he twist RLDS/Community of Christ teachings to convince his followers that he was the prophet Joseph Smith preached of who would redeem Zion for the faithful?  After giving a refresher on the foundations of Mormonism, how the RLDS split off from the LDS, and explaining some key theological concepts Jeffrey would manipulate - we're off and running on a wild-ass, cult! cult! cult!  timeline...Want to apply for the Cummins Family Scholarship fund? Click this link!: https://learnmore.scholarsapply.org/cummins/ Deadline for application is April 24th at 3PM CT. Wet Hot Bad Magic Summer Camp tickets are ON SALE!  BadMagicMerch.com Bad Magic Productions Monthly Patreon Donation:  We were able to donate $14,014 dollars this month to Sleep In Heavenly Peace. Sleep in Heavenly Peace is a group of volunteers who build, assemble and deliver beds to families in need. Never getting a good night’s rest - has you starting every day off at a disadvantage.   This wonderful organization has chapters all across the US.  
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Transcript
Discussion (0)
Does God talk to people?
Throughout history, several big names have claimed to be prophets, with some of them starting
massive religions, Moses, Jesus, Muhammad.
But even if some higher power really once gave us prophets, is God still talking to select
people?
Well something so.
Jeffrey Lungren thought so, thought he was one of them.
The most important living prophet, or at least he claimed to be, I can't believe it took
so long for me to hear about this guy.
When one of our producers, Sophie Evans, sent his information my way for him to be considered
as a topic, I searched his name, checked his Wikipedia page, which is not a great place for
in-depth research, but it's a perfect place to get a feel for a topic.
I only needed to read the first half of the first sentence to know he was right for time
suck. Jeffrey Don Lundgren with an American self-proclaimed prophet, co-leader, and mass murderer.
Uh, yes, sold.
Stories wild.
Even wilder than it sounds after that brief intro.
Born in Missouri in 1950, Jeffrey Lundgren grew up in a household where his parents were
both solidly middle class, also prominent members of a Mormon splinter group, the largest
other splinter groups, the restored church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
Jeffrey himself didn't have much of a thing for religion as a kid, but that would change.
Would it ever?
After high school, Lungren enrolled at Central Missouri State University, where he met
Alice Keeler, a fellow member of the RLDS Church.
The two were married in 1970 after which Lungren enrolled in U.S. Navy,
serving during the Vietnam War, honorably discharged in 1974 by which time he and Alice had two
kids, and they would go on to have two more. Jeffrey could have had a nice life, a small
town family with two sets of involved grandparents, a good job for Jeffrey based on his church
connections, lots of friends, helpful neighbors around, nice little slice of the American dream for many.
But that would not happen.
Instead, Jeffrey constantly stole from his jobs, leading him, leading to him getting fired
over and over and over, going further into debt.
Debt made worse whenever he made extravagant, often secretive purchases, which he often
did.
Meanwhile, Alice continued to believe that, you know, the man she had married, a man who
was quickly turning out to be no good, was the prophet that she had envisioned.
When a camp counselor once told her in high school that she would marry someone important.
And in the end, I guess she did kind of marry someone important, just in the worst of
ways.
In the early 80s, Lungard and his family would move to Kirtland, Ohio, where he became
a guide at the Kirtland Temple of the RLDS.
Around this time, he became convinced that he could see a secret pattern in which messages from God revealed
themselves to him, something that made him super special, something that made him important
a true prophet.
Peddling this to other all RLDS members, especially those who were dissatisfied with the recently
more liberal leaning RLDS church, they were now allowing women to have a greater
say in church affairs, Jeffrey soon amassed some followers.
And then he would tell his followers to call him and Alice, mom and dad, give him their
incomes, follow his teachings, move in with him and a rented farmhouse.
And it wasn't long after that, the Jeffrey declared himself a true prophet, a sticky finger
prophet.
As a temple guide, he embezzled between 25 and 40
thousand dollars from the temple. He was fired. His family evicted from their lodgings in October
of 1987, but by then, Lunggren had already started building a little church of his own.
A small but very devoted church. A cult that included but dozenish people and their small children.
And then a vision from God, one of many told Jeffrey it was time
for Christ's return. But first, they are needed to be blood. Jeffrey and his followers needed to kill.
Everyone living around the RLDS temple he'd been fired from and he needed to be head the man who
fired him and behead the rest of that man's family. Blood sacrifices must be made in order for
Jeffrey, his wife, Alice, their son Damon and nine others to become the new 12 apostles of the n times
And this is just a small part of the twisted insane story I'm telling today just a few details from the first half
Part one of two of the incredibly twisted story of Jeffrey Lungren and the Kirtland cult killings today on another
Doomsday killer Christ cult cult cult edition of time suck.
This is Michael McDonald and you're listening to time suck.
You're listening to time suck.
Happy Monday made sacks.
Welcome to the cult of the curious yet again.
Another interesting topic to examine thoroughly today.
I'm Dan Cummins, a suck master, some time idiot of the internet, possible deep state puppet
meat sack who has never been tapped to join a secret society.
Why not?
And you are listening to time suck.
Hail, name, rod, hail, Luciferina, praise, beat, abode, jangles and glory, beat, a triple
M.
Thanks again to those of you who have come
to any of my recent standup shows this year,
had a blast in Seattle recording this right after
being there, both shows so fun to Neptune.
The late show, man, one of my favorite shows this year,
wow, by the time this episode drops,
only two cities left for the Bernadale Down Theater tour,
Cleveland and Columbus, come on Ohio!
Let's fucking go! We're gonna be in Ohio for most of today's Suck and Next Weeks Suck.
And then it's gonna be Phoenix, Bloomington and Madison. Yep, Madison was
constant, Bloomington and Indiana. You know where Phoenix is. Pumped to be working on new bits,
those shows always have such a fun energy to them, links to all tickets at Dancombs.tv.
And then hopefully it will not be too long
for the new special I recorded back in December
to be live in somewhere where you can watch it.
It was directed by a longtime friend of mine,
very talented, awesome dude, Michael Dare.
Odare worked his magic on the new survival series
on Netflix, Outlast, 16 players working to win a million dollars
in the Alaskan wilderness, so check that out.
I don't wanna spoil it with more details,
but Odare worked on it, so it's amazing.
And then there's the show he created, Making Fun.
You know, this show, man, my friend of mine,
their kids is like their favorite show ever,
is Making Fun.
Expert maker of just about anything,
Jimmy DeResta, Field's kids' ideas
for delightfully pointless inventions.
And then if he's in the mood, he'll build those with his pals. to $14 to sleep in heavenly peace. Sleep in heavenly peace, a group of volunteers
who build, assemble and deliver beds to families in need.
You know, if you're never getting a good night's rest,
you're starting off every day to disadvantage.
And this wonderful organization is chapters all across the US.
If you want to get involved,
you want to offer up your skills,
you can go to SHPbeds.org to learn more.
We were able to add also $1557 to our scholarship fund had a lot of applicants
so far this year, which was awesome. And you can apply all the way up until April 24th,
3pm, central time, easy way to get the application. Just go to badmagicmerch.com, look for the
Cummins Family Scholarship Fund on the top of the page, the link, click it, follow the
instructions. And finally, just a quick merch announcement,
going a little more classic this week with a traditional monogram lock up on premium
teas and hoodies available in a few colors. Kind of earthy vibe. I can see outdoorsy
suckers enjoying this set. You can go to badmagicmerch.com to check it out. And now back to the realm
of cults for this week's episode. The first of a two part series on Jeffrey
Lungren, safe to say the name Jeffrey was already ruined forever here in the sock first
thanks to Epstein. If not, Lungren is going to finish a tarnishing off into oblivion.
In some ways, we have covered stories like Jeffrey Lungren's before, but man, but not
this one. I laughed harder so far during the the extra research and just going
through Sophie's research that I have for a topic in a long time. I got, but we've done a deep dive
in the Mormonism, the Church of Jesus Christ, the Latter-day Saints, which would form the basis
of Lungren spiritual teachings and touched on other French Mormon sects that have done people
harm in that episode, like Warren Jeff's F. L. D. S., the fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ
of Latter-day Saints. We've also
covered cult stories that look similar to how Lunger and structured his, going back to the Manson
family and Spawn Ranch. Like Manson, Lunger would have his followers live with him in squalor,
form a sort of family. Like Manson Lunger would pressure his followers to murder as part of a
Doomsday prophecy, but instead of Helter Skelter, a coming
race war, he taught that if they murder some sinful people, God would start the judgment day
process.
And Lungren's followers would inherit a new cleansed earth after fighting literal battles
against demons.
And like both man and former Suck subject, a manual David, that fake prophet, Lungren would
claim also to be a prophet.
Like a manual David, Lunggren lived mostly from theft and grifting
But in other ways the story of Jeffrey Lunggren is completely unique
He was not born in poverty like Manson didn't come out of a cult like environment of his own like with the FLDS
And instead he was well brought up church-going but not extremely devout as youth
Came from an established well to do family and
independence Missouri didn't really start saying he was anything special you know like a profit
until he was in his 30s even after he started seriously putting together some cult leader like
religious beliefs it would still be several years before the Lungren family packed up and moved
to Kirtlin Ohio with a few followers his his prophethood was a slow burn and, I could say more, but I'm gonna stop.
I don't want to spoil some surprises up ahead.
I want to let this very little known,
so fucking crazy story unfold with you not knowing
which come in around the corner.
[♪ INTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪
Let's talk some structure.
This will be the first of a two-part series,
as I mentioned, on Jeffrey Lunger in his
cult, though we've covered cults and murderers in less time.
We're doing this as a two-party because there's simply too many fascinating details to
cover in one episode.
You know, sometimes just limited to the source material and luckily with this one, we got
some great stuff.
A big thanks to authors like Pete Early, who wrote Propheta Death, the Mormon Blood
Atonement killings,
captured so many juicy details.
His book and others about Jeffrey were written in the 80s,
not all of them made it into digital form,
the story they captured did not make it to the digital age,
like many other frankly less interesting stories.
To understand somewhat how Jeffrey was able to pull
his cult shit off, to understand why his followers truly believed he was a modern day prophet. We have to learn a bit about the RLDS
and its beliefs. The reorganized church Jesus Christ the Latter-day Saints, known since 2001 as the
community of Christ. Second largest denomination in the Latter-day Saint movement. The church
headquartered in Independence Missouri reports roughly 250,000 members and 1100-ish
congregations in 59 countries.
And to understand the RLDS, I'll need to provide a little refresher on Mormonism overall,
covering some important points from the church's history.
Then we're often running in a timeline starting with the future cult leaders' birth.
In that timeline, we'll cover Jeffery's childhood, as well as some of the childhood of his wife, Alice, and how RLDS church teachings was taught
that the important prophet, Joseph Smith predicted, uh, or, you know, what he predicted was still
to come. How this opened the door for some to believe that Jeffrey was the prophet that
Joseph Smith had envisioned before he died. Well, we'll cover how Alice should have never married
Jeffrey. Holy shit. Did she ignore so many massive red flags? Get ready for some super
kinky sex shit that I am strongly guessing. Many of you will find upsetting. We'll cover
their early days as a couple. Jeffrey's failed stints at multiple jobs. How Jeff restarted
the study scripture more and believed he had unlocked a secret pattern through which he
could speak to God.
And again, I don't give a, I don't want to give away too much.
But maybe just maybe this lunatic had his cult watch Rambo first blood, not for escapist
action, but for inspiration in planning a bloody revolt.
So much weird shit's coming ahead.
Let's get into all this absurdity. Diving back into Mormonism.
We previously covered all the Mormonism,
or about as much as you can cover in one, two and a half hour long podcast,
in episode 157 back in September of 2019.
We talked then about how some say that Mormonism is a cult,
but also that the line between new religion and cult can be pretty blurry for many.
It is a bit subjective. In that episode, we generally fell somewhere in the middle,
saying that Mormonism was a little culty. If you consider modern prophets, more strict emphasis
on tithing than many churches and rigorous social schedules that don't really allow for spending time
with non-Mormons culty. The LDS is strict with tithing. I don't know if I really mention that in that
suck. You're simply not allowed to access certain sacred spaces and saving rituals of a Mormon
temple unless you donate, you know, consistently, 10% of your income to the church.
And this still goes on today, according to some recent Salt Lake Tribune articles. But still,
there are a lot of other so-called religions with similar practices. Jeffrey
Lungren, no doubt about it. With that motherfucker, he certainly ran a cult, a cult informed
and inspired by some of the teachings of the RLDS. The, you know, RDS, sometimes you
heard it was a spunter group from the mainstream LDS church, but you could also make an argument
that the LDS is a offshoot of the RLDS.
Most Mormons belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, LDS.
Headquartered in Salt Lake City has more than 15 million members worldwide.
Mormons believe in the crucifixion, resurrection, divinity of Jesus Christ, same as other Christian
churches.
Followers of Mormonism also claim that God sent more prophets after Jesus' death, making it different for most other Christian churches.
One of these prophets was, of course, Joseph Smith, who would write the book Mormon, allegedly copying it down from some golden plates he found, and then publishing it in March of 1830.
The book Mormon states that around 33 CE, after Jesus' crucifixion and resurrection, Jesus Christ appeared in North America and
preached to the Nephites, a pre-modern Hebrew tribe, who supposedly made it to the Americas,
many centuries before Columbus, who were in constant conflict with another Hebrew tribe
that made it over the Lamanites.
And the Lamanites would eventually forget all about their Hebrew God and become ancestors
of American Indians, and the Nephites.
They would do all sorts of cool shit and be super righteous early Mormons, but then
be slaughtered by the damn Laminites around 400 CE.
Luckily before they all died in 385 CE, a Nephi prophet named Mormon gave his records of
a ton of early American events, including Jesus' extra teachings over here in America to
his son Moroni. And then Moroni,
literal last survivor of the Nephites added more scriptural materials before sealing up what
will become the book of morning, Mormon, what will be revealed to Joseph Smith in 421 CE.
And what archaeological evidence is there for any of this? Zero. Literally nothing. Outside of
the LDS church and his offshoots, no one seems to believe the Nephites and Lamanites ever existed.
The beginning of Joseph Smith's involvement with all of this would begin centuries later.
Of course, Joseph Smith confused about all the infighting between different Christian denominations,
claimed he went into the woods in 1820 near his home in Western New York,
near the town of Palmyra, to pray for guidance.
When he just 14,
as he later describes it,
he witnesses a pillar of light,
descending from heaven,
followed by an image of God in Jesus Christ.
This is called the first vision by Mormons.
Three years later, September 21st, 1823,
the young Joseph Smith,
fearing that he had, as fallen off the right path,
prays for forgiveness,
for all his sins and follies and receives another vision, this time of the angel Moroni. And Moroni now tells him about
a sacred book written on some golden plates buried on a nearby hillside. But Joseph is not
allowed to dig them up until four years of past on September 22nd, 1827. To read the tablets,
Joseph Smith apparently has some magical spectacles and some precious
stones called interpreters.
Smith was no stranger to the use of stones called seer stones often.
His dad was a treasure hunter who believed in basically sorcery.
And seer stones were literal stones used by treasure hunters to try and receive relations
from God, revelations to find buried treasure.
Joseph's senior and his sons spent part of the warm weather months
treasure hunting using various divination tools,
including seer stones, that when viewed at the bottom of a hat,
were said to convey a special sight.
Well, when Joseph Smith Jr. placed the right rocks
and the right hats, he said a piece of something
resembling parchment would appear
and on that appeared the writing.
One character to time would appear and under it was an interpretation in English,
all according to Smith, of course. And less than a dozen other supposed witnesses
according to LDS doctrine would see some of this shit. And a lot of other stuff happens. You
can hear all about it in the full episode of Mormonism. But the important part is that due to all
these visions he's receiving, Joseph Smith says he's a prophet. And early Mormons affirmed this,
and Mormons to this day continue to believe this.
The entire religion is based 100% in Joseph Smith
being a latter day saint, a modern prophet.
In Doctrine and Covenants,
basically a list of Smith's revelations,
a core book of scripture in the Mormon faith,
Smith would declare himself a prophet outright,
with doctrine and covenants 28 saying,
But behold, verily, verily, I say unto thee,
No one shall be appointed to receive commandments and revelations in this church, accepting my
servant Joseph Smith, for he received with them even as Moses,
And thou shalt be obedient unto the things which I shall give unto him, even as Aaron, to
declare faithfully the commandments and the revelations with power and authority unto the
church.
And now, in saying that he was a prophet, Joseph Smith not only kicks off his new fledgling
religion, he also permanently opens a door in this religion.
Well, at least open so far for anyone else to claim that they are also a prophet
That they have had another divine revelation from God and that they are you know the one who's actually right not the main church
A core ten and a Mormonism basically from its outset is that the LDS movement
Begin with the revelation from God which began a process of restoring gospel of Jesus here on earth as in to be continued. And there is a belief that it continues today.
This type of revelation could technically go on forever, or as long as the church exists.
A term known as continuous revelation. Continuous revelation provides individual
Latter-day Saints with a testimony or testimonies. Described by Richard Bushman, another dick,
dick Bushman, and an American historian at Columbia University as one of the most potent words in the Mormon lexicon. A testimony is usually defined in Mormon denominations as knowledge or assurance of a truth
that a person declares by the convincing power of the Holy Ghost
and sharing testimonies is a very important part of the latter day's saint experience to this day.
This was canonized for Mormons in something known as the Wentworth Letter,
the last section of which was canonized as the
Articles of Faith. The 5th, 6th, 7th, and 9th articles state the essence of Latter-day
Saint belief concerning revelation. Starting with 5, we believe that a man must be called
of God by prophecy and by the laying on of hands by those who are in authority to preach the gospel
and administer in the ordinances thereof. We believe in the same organization that existed in the
primitive church, namely Apostles, Prophets, Pastors, Teachers, Evangelists, and so forth. We believe
in the gift of tongues, prophecy, revelation, visions, healing, interpretation of tongues, and so forth.
And finally, we believe all that God has revealed, all that He does now reveal, and we believe
that He will yet reveal many great and important things, pretending to the kingdom of God.
Right?
So heavy emphasis on continued prophecy.
Most if not all Adder Day Saint, offshoot denominations, believed that the Lord will
yet reveal many great important things to his church through modern apostles and prophets,
some go as far to claim that all leaders of their churches are called of God by prophecy.
And that each member of the church can receive personal revelation to strengthen their faith
and guide them in their own lives.
Each Adarday Saint is expected to use personal revelation to determine how best to apply gospel principles
and the commandments in his or her life
and a path towards perfection.
It is accepted that not all members will agree
on how to interpret the same scripture,
rather each person is responsible to determine
how it should be interpreted for himself or herself.
So thus, parents can receive revelation related to raising
families, individuals can receive revelation related to raising families. Individuals can receive
revelation to help them meet personal challenges. Church officers may receive revelation for those
they serve, apostles and prophets may receive revelation for the entire church. And because of,
let's say, interpretive confusion. Mormon denominations do not believe that all revelations are
created equal, if you will. They're not all absolutely true as the person sharing them believes
them to be true.
Some revelations are inspired, yes, but also not infallible, which, uh, so feels like
after a lot of prophetic confusion, the churches early days, early leaders realized that they
had to make it clear that not all prophecies are the same.
Otherwise, the early church would have just torn itself apart.
And I bet this loophole, not that other Mormon loophole,
was designed shortly after a few church members announced that they were prophets
and then said some shit that almost no one else was on board with
or that would have ruined the church movement.
Behold, Tisai, the prophet Josiah.
And God has given me a great and powerful revelation. We are
to relinquish all earthly goods and rely only on the kindness and generosity of strangers
alone to provide us with shelter and sustenance as we travel the land, bare foot and humble,
preaching God's salvation with no care for our own earthly needs, only care for God's glory. Uh, yes, okay, Joe, that is, that is really great.
That is nice.
Truly.
But you know what?
I also had a revelation yesterday and now I know why.
God told me that while he does send many of us prophecies, some of them are, you know,
kind of him shooting from the hip and not really taking the time to think through what he said.
Some of them are out.
You know, fallible, like it's still God's word, 100%,
but not like a good idea.
Think of these prophecies as God's little jokes.
He likes to get around with this.
And that's clearly one of the jokes you'll say.
I give him all of our stuff.
That's a good one.
Thank you for sharing that obvious God joke
about selling our things and living only for the God
for the Lord. Oh, that was great.
I needed that, buddy.
One early church leader wrote,
we consider God and him alone and fallible.
Therefore, his revealed word to us,
cannot be doubted,
though we may be endowed sometimes
about the knowledge which we obtain from human sources.
And occasionally be obliged to admit
that something which we had considered to be a fact was really only a theory. That's a very
diplomatic way to say that we can change our mind. If the culture determines that we're not in line
with the culture based on what we thought God said, we can then realize that we kind of fucked up
and didn't interpret things correctly.
And we can change it.
Why do these get lost in translation?
Telephone game.
You know, it's hard.
Don't even worry about it.
Breaking the young Joseph Smith successor taught that the greatest fear I have is that the
people of this church will accept that what we accept, what we say as the will of the
Lord without first praying about it and getting the witness within their own hearts
That what we say is the word of the Lord
I think it's pretty easy to see how fucking confusing these kind of statements can make LDS theology
Hey, hey, we do talk to God and we do share his messages
Correctly, but also don't take our word for you should talk to God yourself and see if what God says to you
word for. You should talk to God yourself and see if what God says to you matches up with what God said to us, but it needs to because what we say is for sure God's word and if you're
not getting the same kind of thing on your channel, then your channel is scrambled.
You know, shouldn't all knowing all powerful, I'm an epitome deity, have a more clear and less
confusing way to speak to his followers. I mean, it sure feels like it would be a lot cleaner if God just showed up on Earth, spoke
to all of us at the same time.
We can all hear the exact same message, each in our own language, each of us in words that
make the message perfectly clear to us, then after God's done, we can all talk about what
we just heard, it'll all match up, we can all be global citizens sharing the same guys,
sharing the same message, the same religion, how fucking beautiful.
But instead, it's incredibly all powerful and insanely intelligent being communicates in a way that makes
speaking to a customer service agent who barely speaks the same language while working
in a noisy call center with a two-second delay, see my deal. Although Latter-day Saints believe
that personal revelation is an essential part of the plan of salvation. Leaders of the
church emphasize that true personal revelation should never contradict official revelation
from the leadership of the church.
Right, if you don't rank in the church hierarchy
and you think your God is telling you something different
than what we've taught you, well, new slash,
you're probably on the line with the devil.
Hang up, sinner!
Of course, those who are a power hungry
don't pay attention to the part about official revelation.
Right, they see a revelation in a way of, well,
Joseph Smith, he wasn't a church official.
He was able to share some stuff that God forgot to tell everyone else, you know,
through Jesus back in Gatally and Judea. Well, then by God literally, they can also share some new
shit. Jeffrey Lungren would be one of these power hungry people. He would say that God gave
him the power to truly understand kiasmus and see the pattern
that unveiled powerful prophecy in scripture.
We'll get more into it in the timeline,
but Kiasmus is basically reading certain words
repeating the Bible to uncover some hidden secret messages.
Because again, God is an unusual communicator.
He could make everything clear and easy to understand,
but yeah, it challenges fun, challenges are fun.
You know, instead of making things clear,
he acts like a marketing exec working in Ovaltean
in the 1950s, mailing kids at Captain Midnight Dakota Ring.
If they send in three Ovaltean Lids and a dollar.
Why?
Well, no one knows, mysterious ways.
Don't worry about it, just believe.
Jeffrey would argue that because of Kiasma,
he discovered that God expressed himself through mirrored pairs,
like two branches on a temple building
or two lines in a verse that surround the same
or the sound the same, you know,
like God's the fucking riddler from Batman.
He then claimed that the pattern allowed him to communicate
with God, making him a very important,
riddle-solving prophet.
But Jeffrey didn't immediately spring this on his followers. No, of course not.
God's profit should be just as confusing and indirect as God himself. Got a got a massive communication technique to seem divine.
Jeffrey and his wife Alice were cagey about this for years when their followers spoke about their wishes to meet a real profit.
They would say something like
You wouldn't know profit if he sat in front of you who wink wink not not towards Jeffrey
Over a period of years Jeffrey slowly graduated from an in-depth reading of scripture to understanding the pattern to hear revelations directly from God
Or you know over a period of years a blatant con artist devised a more honed a con
Figured out how to introduce it make it work
By the time he was claiming to be a real profit
and later claiming to be a God himself,
his followers had already been handing over their paychecks
and living with the Lungrens communally,
which put to big hole in the theory
that Jeffrey himself actually believed he was a profit
as much as anyone,
and argument his lawyers would advance at his trial.
They would use something similar to an insanity defense
saying that Jeffrey had been so much treated as a child. He began to have grandiose delusions. Was he even abused?
We don't know that. Might have just had strict religious parents. And if he truly had grandiose
delusions, how come he only declared that he was a prophet after his followers had turned
over all their money and autonomy to him? How come he told the line with conservative LDS
teachings until he controlled his followers' lives? If he truly believed he was a prophet, wouldn't he be like one of those crazy guys, one
around the street with a shirt off, talking to nobody?
How do you hold down several jobs, released a couple months at a time and keep it all quiet?
How was he accepted by polite society at first until it no longer served him?
Okay, almost time to really start getting to know Jeffrey now.
Just need to take a look.
First, at the reorganized
church of Latter-day Saints to understand some more teachings, teachings Lundgren would build on
to form his cult. Before digging into those teachings, this feels like a not too disruptive spot to
take a mid-show sponsor break. Thanks for listening to me, Zach. Hope you like some of the deals you
heard and used our codes and landing pages to save money and let our sponsors know you listen.
Now back to the show picking up with the learning to reorganize learning about the reorganized Church of Latter-day Saints to understand some more teaching teachings Lungen would build on to form his cult.
Formerly known as the reorganized Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
Known as that in Jeffery's day, The religious organization now known as Community of Christ, regards itself as the true embodiment
of the original LDS church organized in 1830 by Joseph Smith.
Importantly, Irrigar Joseph Smith III, the eldest surviving son of Smith, to have been his
legitimate successor to the church leadership, not Brigham Young.
Let's go back to 1844.
The death of Prophet and leader Joseph Smith that year left a fledgling religious group with a political power struggle, a power vacuum.
Since the Church's inception in 1830, Joseph Smith had been telling Mormons to follow him to Zion, this mythical land where they would be able to flourish and restore the kingdom of God.
But he was having a hard time setting up that kingdom. He kept getting kicked out of all the places where Zion was supposed to be like Independence
Missouri.
In 1844 Smith announced his candidacy for the presidency of the United States, although
he did not have nearly enough appeal to win the very idea of Smith as president, really
got a lot of people nervous and increased anti LDS sentiment.
Meanwhile a group of dissenting Latter-day Saints began publishing a newspaper that was
highly critical of the practice of polygamy and of smith's leadership.
Smith had the press destroyed.
The ensuing threat of violence prompted Smith to call on a militia in the town of Navuilanoi,
who charged with treason and conspiracy by Illinois authorities in prison with his brother
Hiram in the Carthage City jail, and then on June 27, 1844, an angry mob stormed in and murdered
the brothers.
And this immediately created that power back to vacuum. jail, and then on June 27, 1844, an angry mob stormed in and murdered the brothers.
And this immediately created that power vacuum.
Smith had been guiding Mormons again to Zion for a long time, according to his own revelations
about where Zion was, but now that he was dead, where were the Mormons, where were the
Mormons to go?
Who would take them where they needed to go?
The answer for the mainstream LDS church was Brigham Young, an early convert to Mormonism.
Brigham had come across the Book of Mormon shortly after its 1830 publication when a missionary
sold a copy to his brother.
He studied Smith's teachings for two years before being baptized in the Mormon faith in
April of 1832 and 1833.
After the death of his wife, he followed Joseph Smith's call for church members to gather
in Kirkland, Ohio for much of our story story will take place today, arriving there with his two
children in September of 1833.
After Smith's death, Brigham Young proposed that the so-called Quorum of the Twelve Apostles
run the church, along with him, and most of the Mormons who lived in Naboo, Illinois
agreed with him.
The Quorum of the Twelve Apostles is the second highest leadership body of the church,
Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
The first presidency being the highest, young would be the first president.
Young plan for a mass migration from Illinois to the Valley of the Great Salt Lake, or
he hoped Mormons could be free from the persecution that had already driven them from Ohio and Missouri.
But some Mormons did not like this plan.
Joseph Smith's widow, Emma Smith, chose to remain behind with
the three children instead of following him to Utah. In other Mormons believing that the next
leader of the church needed to be one of Smith's descendants stayed behind with her. In the so-called
Splinter Group would eventually become the new organization of the Church of Jesus Christ of
Latter-day Saints. They would hold their first conference in June of 1852. Then the RLDS church would officially form in 1860
when Joseph Smith, the third oldest of MS3 sons,
agreed to become head of this new church.
And he would hold his position for 54 years.
This Joseph Smith said in his inaugural address
to the reorganizations general conference
that while he respected those who had gone to Utah,
he thought they were being misled.
And were controlled by an authoritarian system which held them, if not against their
wills, at least in ignorance of other more righteous possibilities.
The RLDS claimed the same date as the LDS church for its formal organization, April 6,
1830, both will claim to be the OG LDS church.
Through the community of Christ,
shares a lot of tenants of mainstream Mormon theology.
Of course, it does since it started out at the same time.
It also has important differences from the LDS Church.
The first biggest, most obvious difference,
acceptance of Brigham Young's teachings.
This is important to understand how Jeff was able to pull off his shit.
In 1834, Joseph Smith declared that God would someday raise up a leader like Moses.
Who would redeem Zion?
And what does it mean to redeem Zion?
Well, it took me a lot longer than I wanted it to,
to figure that shit out.
Holy hell, there was a lot of theology and Mormonism.
It is the building of a New Jerusalem,
the building of a holy city, where Christ will come down
to reign personally, and the curse of Adam will be lifted.
Millennium will start in this city.
This concept of Mormonism means for a thousand years there will be a period of peace and
righteousness in this great land.
During this time Jesus will personally reign on the earth.
Satan will be bound, have no power over the people in Zion due to their righteousness.
For a thousand years, mostly in the earlier years Zion missionaries will spread the good word to the rest of the world. Then, after a thousand years Satan will kick off a
final fucking big battle, killer Christ, second coming stuff. An indoctrine and covenants,
misrevolutions, the Lord said that Zion must be redeemed by his power. And he called on the saints
to use their power even to armed conflict and loss of life if necessary to redeem Zion.
And again, that's important to understand what Jeffrey will do, right?
Create Zion through bloodshed or what he will try to do.
Back to the death of Joseph Smith now,
well, many Utah Saints felt a Brigham Young fulfilled a Joseph Smith prophecy about a leader
that would rise up to redeem Zion.
Young they argued had successfully led the Saints out of bondage and Missouri into the new promised land of Utah where he had redeemed Zion. He had given
them a holy land, but such talk was heresy to the saints in Missouri. They considered young to be
a false prophet. Zion was supposed to be built in independence. And Joseph Smith had intended never
saw like city for the all de for the R.. Oh my God, for the R LDS.
It's always the four letter acronyms. I'm always like, ah, don't worry about the tongue,
the same ways the three letter ones, but I dismissed 1834 promise of a new Zion head,
still not been fulfilled. They were still waiting. They are still waiting. For God to send them
this important prophet who will redeem Zion for them. And Jeffrey Lunggren will declare
himself to be that very prophet, right?
RLDS teachings put the cult leader ball on the tee,
and he took a swing.
Not the first to do so, not the last.
There are other differences
that the early RLDS church has with mainstream Mormonism.
During the 19th century,
the LDS church strongly emphasized the practice
of plural marriage as a requirement for exaltation.
Although this requirement was officially abolished in 1890 as a condition for Utah statehood,
funny how God's vision for his chosen people sometimes is thwarted, changed by American earthly
politics, it was and is still taught that polygamy will be practiced in the hereafter.
I don't think I mentioned that in the original Mormonism suck it.
And I'm not sure that a lot of Mormons even know this, but plural marriage remains very
much a part of Mormon doctrine.
In Shrine and Scripture, practiced at least through so-called ceilings in his temples.
Many members believe polygamy will be re-instituted in the afterlife, and even the late Latter-day
Saint Apostle Bruce R. McConkey, part of the quorum of the 12 apostles from 1972 to 1995 Wrote that this holy practice will resume after Jesus Christ second coming
Polygamy also exists in the here and now in a sense
Divorced or widowed men can be sealed a K.A.
Married for eternity and later date St. Temples to multiple wives
But women generally can only be sealed to one husband bummer ladies
If a man gets a divorce he can be sealed again to another wife,
without canceling the first ceiling,
while women are required to get that cancellation.
As written in a 2019 Salt Lake City Tribune article,
one elderly gentleman was widowed and sealed twice.
And while in his 70s and considering a third wife,
declared he would only court a woman
who was already sealed to her first husband
It was a question he posed on all first dates with perspective mates because as the man said at the time two wives on the other side are enough
Fuck sake the strangest ways we overly complicate our lives
There's something really funny about getting divorced and forgetting to cancel a K unsealed that first marriage
Then get him married again
Then dying and finding out that you're stuck with the woman you couldn't handle being married to for decades in this life now for eternity
You know, oh my lord. Oh, thank you. Oh wonderful God for granting me immortality
And I get my own solar system. How wonderful. How blessed.
Oh, and there's my wife, Cindy R.
How I've missed her, Lord.
This is amazing.
I'm so filled with joy and, Karen,
get what are you doing here?
Oh, no, oh, no.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
And heaven quickly becomes hell.
The RLDS in that are hand is always denounced polygamy,
although it does not deny that it was practice
in the churches early years.
Well eventually Jeffrey Lungard will conveniently say
that he has some new revelations,
you know, talking about how God does want polygamy,
but that's next week.
While both Mormonism and RLDS claim God ordained
the organization as the true restoration
of fallen Christianity, the LDS church is the one of the two
to continue to insist that it alone represents the only true church,
more closely emulating primitive Christianity.
The RLDS will drop this notion in the 80s as it liberalizes.
Lundgren will be able to play with this.
Other liberalizing efforts included then included, have included, then President Wallace B. Smith's decree in 1924,
which let women become priests, something
is Jeffrey strongly opposed, and he used this opposition to galvanize his small group of
conservative RLDS members.
Women cannot lead in a male dominated cult.
Now, when the leader has polygamous aspirations, come on, everybody.
A dude gets to lead, women get to get fucked.
That's Colts, yeah, 101.
God's chosen profit is to spread God's
love to the hottest female members through his hot hard father daddy God did covered in prophecies.
As these RLDS members gather to discuss what the church they wanted to attend would look like
Lungren saw an opportunity to gain the following he thought he deserved
becoming a sort of spokesman for the conservative RLDS movement in his temple.
This would even bring him into direct conflict with RLDS leadership, like Dale Luffman, an administrator in Kurtland, who found himself going head to head
with the group of people who increasingly looked less like a Sunday school scripture,
study group, and more like a cult.
And before long, groups opposition to daya would crystallize into a plan to take over
the Kurtland temple by force.
And after which the temple was to physically rise up to heaven as prophesied, all the group
members would get to meet God, a fuck out bro, Zion has been redeemed, the Millennium
has begun.
And I think that's all you need to know.
About the RLDS and Mormonism, to gain a full understanding, a good understanding, I guess,
of how Jeffrey was able to recruit who he recruited.
So now, well, let's fucking go.
Shrap on those boots, soldier. We're marching down a time-sug timeline.
Jeffrey Don Lundgren will be born May 3rd, 1950 in Independence, Missouri.
Later on, he'll consider May 3rd as a special day.
This is birthday.
The birthday of Samir Mordel.
No, no, no, much more than that.
He will prophesy that it'll mark the return of God, the coming of the apocalypse, the beginning
of a spiritual war.
Oh, shit.
But not yet.
Jeffrey was the older of two sons born to Donald and Lois Lungren
Donnie and Lois power names for parents of a new prophet of God
Imagine a instead of mother Mary if it was mother Lois
Mother Lois not not quite the same ring to it. No eliteration a little softer sounding at the end weird
Did you ever came from a well-pedigrid RLDS family?
Everyone in the family, aunts, uncles, grandparents,
all big RLDS people.
Lois' parents, Alva and Mod Gadd Berry,
helped found two RLDS congregations in independence.
Of course, they did Alva and Mod.
How could they not do so much with these powerful names?
Lois and Mod in one family, Alva and Donnie.
Alva was a pastor at both, mod ran the Sunday school programs.
Then on the lungen side, it was Donnie's mother, Mabel,
was the religious stalwart.
Oh, fuck yeah.
Lois, mod and Mabel.
Sounds like a trio of women the golden girls would have met
in some episode set on a cruise ship.
Maybe I'd converted from the Lutheran faith as a young mom and had seen to it that her kids rarely missed an RLDS service.
Maybe later taught Sunday school for 30 years at the slower park.
RLDS congregation and independence, one of the more prestigious congregations in town.
Everyone called her grandma Lundy.
Adorable girl granny Lundy
That she always had some hard candy nearby
At least a few root beer barrels butterscatches in her purse. Let me put some of that good shit
Strawberry hard candies with a soft juicy centers strawberry bonbons I
Guess that's what they're actually called even though I've never heard them called that
Donnie and Lois had met a church that married in 1948. Don rose to the rank of elder high ranking
post in an RLDS congregation. On most Sundays, he and Lois can be found sitting and holding the
hands of the sanctuary adorable. Don spent his early years in rural South Dakota where he'd learned
to hunt and fish and where also according to a younger sister, Mary Bennett. Don had been a
tear and a bully. Don has started a career as a construction worker,
was put in charge of a work crew
that installed microwave towers for a telephone company.
I'd never heard him call that,
but that's what the source is.
By the early 60s, he'd been earning $100 a day.
When the average salary in the nation was $100 a week.
Fucking Donnie war bucks, Donnie dollars, Donnie duckets.
Donnie would make an up to later put up $5,000 to help his brother-in-law, George Cadbury.
Keep his formal wear rental shop open.
Eventually he would buy out his brother-in-law, put Jeffrey to work there, had the store
generating a good profit for a little while.
Not while Jeffrey was working there.
As an adult, like he was, as a kid, Donnie was still seen as a tough guy.
A man's man who spoke his mind.
He served the Navy with a staunch patriot who detested slackers.
I'm sure he fucking hated free loving hippies, damn long hairs, eroding the moral fabric
of this great nation.
Donnie would allegedly tell anyone who asked him that no one had given him anything.
He'd earned his own way, and I'll buy himself.
One of those guys, I did it all myself.
I get the sentiment. I really do.
But do any of us literally do it all ourselves?
No, we don't. Not ever.
Plus in your ass, your increases the odds of success.
Hell yeah. As does coming up with a good plan, stick into it, mental fortitude,
perseverance, all good and important qualities, but still someone has to hire
you or buy your shit or give you a loan, watch your kids while you work, something.
But again, I get the sentiment.
Respect, Donnie.
Respect.
But also that attitude can really read as arrogant.
Maybe unsurprisingly, neither Donnie nor Lois were very popular among other church
coars.
Donnie was regarded as too opinionated as arrogant.
Lois was seen by many as too flashy.
We got ourselves a couple of prideful mother fuckers in this congregation.
In every church, you have your show people who see if they can dress better than anyone else.
A church member would later explain, you know, the type of someone shows up in a fur coat one week.
They have one the next week.
That was Lois Lungren.
Appearances were everything to her.
They have won the next week. That was Lois Lungren.
Appearances were everything to her.
Jeffrey would later joke that the reason his dad earned so much money
was because of his mom spending habits.
Lois' home was full of oh so many knickknacks.
Apparently it looked like a museum.
Anyone else picture in a shit ton of humble figurines?
Like the good ones.
Appletree boy and girl.
Hungarian girl.
School boys and school girls.
The rare stuff. Those actually are the names of school boys and school girls, the rare stuff.
Those actually are the names of real expensive rare humbles by the way.
Lois would search area and take stores and bring home their finest pieces.
Each room in the house was said to have looked as if it had been arranged to be photographed for display in a magazine.
These two sound like a couple of characters.
As kids, Jeffrey and his brother Corey, who was nearly six years younger,
were permitted to sit on the living room sofa only when guests visited.
All other times, they would sit on a rug on the floor,
dropped in front of the TV.
Don't dirty up the sofa.
Come on, for fuck's sake.
Did I say a couple of characters?
I want to change that to a couple of rigid, fun, hating assholes.
A way to concern was status and what the neighbors think about them.
Not letting the kids sit on the living room couch unless guests over, that's fucking gross.
Philly Jeffrey and Corey spent their childhood walking on egg shells.
Lois's appearance too set her apart from other all RLDS members.
She had chestnut hair, ivory skin, and a curvy figure that other girls envy according
to sources.
Even as an older woman, she bleached her hair blonde dressed immaculately
and seemed to have a youthful sparkle, a walking elder boner maker. Jeff would say that his mom did
not sparkle at home. He would say that she was always cold to him. What? The lady who would only
let her kids sit on the couch when company was over is cold. Ah, it's crazy talk.
Jeff would say that instead of unconditional affection, his parents were only affectionate when he performed well,
like after he played a good game at school.
No hugs for fucking losers in the Lunguin family.
Not in Donnie and Lois' house, God damn it.
When do you ever play this first basketball game in sixth grade,
he scored seven of the team's 11 points.
And did that get him a hug after that game?
No, it did not.
After the game, his mom criticized him
because of the ploppy noise that his feet made
when he ran up and down the court.
She was apparently so embarrassed.
She made him practice running on his toes
in the kitchen for weeks.
How pathetic.
And of course, I'm referring to Jeffrey.
Pick up those dumb feet.
You little plop-plop, he dipshit.
Maybe because of his parents, Jeffrey wasn't all that popular in school. He only had one close friend, Sarah Stotz, who
lived down the street, who Jeffrey had met in preschool. Oh, Jeffrey and Sarah quiet kids.
Uh, that didn't stop Jeffrey from becoming an excellent shortstop on the baseball team in
William Christian high school and independence. He lifted weights almost every day by a senior
year. He could allegedly throw a pitch close to a hundred miles an hour, but he was awkward.
Other students still considered him socially off. Girls not interested. He did go to senior
prom, but not with anyone romantic. He asked his good friend Sarah to be on the be his date.
She accepted platonically. And Jeffries 1968 high school yearbook picture, he will stand out
among the photos of smiling boys and t-shirts, you know, band t-shirts and shit with long hair.
Jeffrey had a 50s buzz cut, dressed in a crisp white shirt, narrow tie and jacket, very stiff, not smiling.
Donnie and low, it's not raising some happy idiot. Some smiling dipshit, all joyful for no good reason.
Some smile and dip shit. I'll joyful for no good reason
Backing up to the year after Jeffrey was born now
Alice Keeler the future Mrs. Lungren born January 21st, 1951 also an independence, Missouri oldest of four kids
Her parents have both moved to independence because of the RLDS's church RLDS's
RLDS churches there we go belief that independence would be where Jesus Christ will return and, you know, build Zion as Joseph Smith once preached a
perfect city of peace and beauty and
Look, nothing against independence, Missouri. It looks like a fine place to live. I've never spent time there only driven through it, but Zion
Paradise on the outskirts of Kansas City. I doubt it. I love Kansas City. Cool City, but especially scenic?
No.
Uh, human is fucking the summer, freezing balls in the winter.
Great football team.
Great rock station with legendary Johnny Dare,
loved that beautiful weirdo, cool shopping,
good restaurants, nice bars, museums, but not paradise.
Alice's father Ralph Keeler had met her mother Donna
at an RLDS church service shortly
after World War II.
They married in 1947.
He went to work as a welder.
She stayed at home and raised the four kids.
I tell you, it was 13.
Alice grew up in relative comfort.
Even though her dad didn't earn a huge salary, but both Ralph and Donna put the kids' needs
first, buy new clothes, new shoes, give them spending money.
But that would change for Alice in 1964. One morning Ralph woke up with the pain his leg. By nighttime he had lost
all feeling in it. The next day doctors diagnosed him with having multiple sclerosis. How terrifying.
It was soon difficult for him to walk. He was put on disability and Donna who had never
finished high school is now forced to work. She's hired as a cook, but an all night cap, Faye, works from seven in the morning to seven at night, leaving Alice to run the house.
Now she's in charge of, you know, taking care of her sister,
sisters, Susan and Terry, who were 11 and seven and her two-year-old brother Charles.
Susan and Terry were Tom Boyes, who often made fun of tricky and prissy Alice. That's interesting, tricky and prissy.
So escape from her family, Alice would turn to the church. She's interesting, tricky and prissy.
To escape from her family, Alice would turn to the church. She'd officially been baptized
at age 5 by none other than Carlos Croson, Jeffrey Lunggren's uncle, and as a teenager, she
felt she truly started to understand her religion. Rarely missed a service, participated in every
youth activity and held her beliefs with conviction, and all of that faith will really come back
to fuck over her entire life.
Not kidding.
It will be a Friday in the spring of 1969, which he finally met Jeffrey Lunggren.
The man she would soon come to think of has her night in shining armor.
The man she should have ran from, literally, if need be.
Alice was a senior in high school writing a paper about the origins of the book of war.
Wanting to use the library at the Central Missouri State University,
not the central Missouri, which was 40 minutes away from independence in Warren's Burg.
She cut a ride to campus with her youth minister. She finished up the library earlier than she expected,
decided to go across campus to a two-story house that had been converted by the RLDS
into a student union, Alice Spotted a friend who then introduced Alice to her friends,
including a young man in a neatly pressed white short sleeve shirt with pinstripes.
His shirt matches blue, corduroy slacks, he was wearing brown, pennies loafers with no socks,
he looked sort of ridiculous to Alice, but she was still charmed by the future cult leader.
Can't be a cult leader, and now be mysteriously appealing to at least a few people.
They only talk for a few minutes.
Alex returned home shortly after taking to talk into him, graduated, spent a week at a
church run summer camp, but she didn't forget Jeffrey.
One of the girls there had just finished her freshman year at CMSU and had gone out on
a date with Jeffrey.
She heard about it.
Alex asked her about him and the girl confided.
He tried to get me drunk and take advantage of me. Alice then punched
that line bitch in the mouth. Repent Harlett. How dare that. Speak ill of the new
prophet of God. No, he wasn't profited. So she of course never said that. Alice
was troubled. She couldn't believe that the friendly boy she met would be so
pushy especially since he was RLDS just like her, you know, supposedly holding out for marriage.
Alice sounds pretty sheltered. Just what a young man was pushing about sex with a young woman. What?
But what about his relationship with our Lord and Savior Jesus?
During evening Vespers, aka evening prayers at the camp, Alice decided to ask God whom she would eventually marry.
At the bonfire, she prayed silently with the other campers.
After several minutes of silence, one of the adult counselors stood up and began to prophesy. How fun!
One by one, the counselor called out each campers name. He was being moved by the spirit, or just being weird and dramatic to prove he fit in, and belonged, and he knew doing this would
be appreciated by other church members. And he would give them messages from God. The man
proclaimed unto my sister, Alice, thus sayeth the spirit,
I have seen your tears and I've heard your prayers and I will never leave you comfortless.
I will direct your path and I will hold you alive in the palm of my hand. For there, I have engraven
you." Okay, cool story, bro. Now very helpful and not at all vague and meaningless.
Although the guy didn't mention anything specific, Alice thought he must have been talking
about her future husband.
Or more specifically that God was telling her
about her future husband, okay?
Man, reading into the stuff, projecting.
On the final day of camp,
the group held its Sunday morning testimonial service,
another opportunity for people to channel God's messages.
The campers were told that the fellowship
they had created had been acceptable in God's eyes
and that it was quote, please you not to him.
No, I'm glad God could find time to let them know that.
Dear Lord, I'm sure you're busy saving starving children
and African stuff, but if you could just,
no, no, no, no, no, busy at all, Braxton.
Ah, keeping kids from starving, it's depressing.
Ugh, a lot of work.
I prefer to lounge around and listen to people,
worship me.
I love it. I love to hear
about how much y'all love and fear me. Really gets my dick hard. If you know what I mean.
Don't stop. Keep telling daddy how great he is. Now tell you I'm so pleased.
There's Stakes Patriarch, a member of the RLDS priesthood called to give patriarchal blessings to
people. Also said that their generation was the one that would see the establishment of
God's kingdom on earth and they would be instruments in his hands. It's always the current generation.
Always the one coming up. You guys, you're the special one. You're the best.
Oh, and a stake is an administrative unit composed of multiple RLDS congregations, same as LDS.
And then the patriarch addressed Alice directly saying, and and unto you, my daughter, Alice, thus, sayeth the Lord. I like that they have to add
the sayeth like, I've said this before. I think I said this in the Mormon one. But I love
how they still talk in King James. Like, that's just how God talks. Like, the Bible wasn't
originally written that way. That was like a medieval translation that ended up sounding the way because that's how some people talked at that time.
It's just weird that like for a lot of these religious like they think that God is just stuck in like
the fucking you know Middle Ages or something. Thus sayeth the Lord, thou in thee shall have that.
Okay, but he says that you shall have the answer to your prayers. You shall marry a companion whom I have prepared to bring forth my kingdom.
And he shall be great in the eyes of these people and shall do much good unto the children
of men, for I have prepared him to bring forth a marvelous work and wonder.
Alice is amazed by this.
She hadn't told anyone about her prayers for her husband, but thought that the man's words
meant that God had been paying attention.
Give me a fucking break. Every girl at this camp is praying for a husband.
They've been bred. They've been pressured for that their whole lives.
It's all about like the RLDS faith. Like for young women, it's all about
Gidmarry. Gidmarry. Gidmarry. Have kids. Have kids. Have kids.
What? God knew that I, what moment about the
college wants a husband more than anything?
Huh? Crazy.
So that a few weeks after summer camp ended,
Alice was asleep in her bedroom at nights,
and she felt something pressing down upon her.
She would be crushed by what she would later describe as an evil presence.
The wait seemed to hold her down endlessly until she started to pray.
When she called out Jesus's name, the wait suddenly lifted.
It's going on here. Sleep paralysis, demonic presence. The wait seemed to hold her down endlessly until she started to pray. When she called out Jesus's name, the wait suddenly lifted.
It's going on here. Sleep paralysis, demonic presence, jeffery trying to Cleveland steamer.
That last single makes sense later. She would describe her experience the following Sunday at the RLDS church in Odessa.
Members congratulated her afterwards saying that she was clearly destined to do great things for the church. Rejoice! Hail Alice!
What an amazing future, definitely awaits her!
If it doesn't, if her life ends up becoming complete and total shit, which it will, it's
almost like this prophecy mumble jumbo doesn't mean shit!
Alice would enroll at Central Missouri State University in nearby Warren's Burg, the fall
of 1969.
Go Mules!
And Jennings.
They have different mascot names for each gender.
Here in Warren's Berg, one of God's most important cities clearly.
She would remeat the boy she had met months before.
Jeffrey Don Lungren.
He was playing cards with his best friend Keith Johnson at the RLDS
student union, student lounge, whatever you want to call.
Jeffrey didn't seem to remember her, but Keith invited Alice to join their card game.
Afterwards, they all went to an ice cream parlor,
how wholesome.
Keith then said that he was having a picnic
at his parents farm that weekend.
He had a date, but you know, Jeffrey doesn't wink wink.
Jeffrey asked Alice if she wants to go.
Alice asked if there's gonna be anyone else there.
Keith said that, oh yeah, eight or nine couples
are gonna be gone.
And since that seems safe, Alice agreed. But then all of these other couples mysteriously drop
out, leaving only Keith and his date and Alice and Jeffrey and Alice grew incredibly anxious.
What would Jeffrey try? Would he try to finger her? She'd heard about finger blasters.
Her parents had warned her. Missouri was rife with dirty, dude finger blasters back in the late 60s, early 70s. Thank God she had worn six pairs of panties
that day and fortified her generals with saran wrap. They would be no finger blasting.
As a sham of a picnic. Now she was fine. Alison, Jeffrey guys are talking, finding out that
their upbringing were very different. Alison, grown up poor, Jeffrey comparatively had grown up with every luxury available
to him.
Now, now those parents were rich, they weren't, but you know, firmly middle class, but upper
middle class.
Alex will later remember being a little surprised, but I wanted Jeffrey's comments when he said,
my mother isn't going to like your name.
She'll think it's much too plain.
That's a weird thing to say to someone on a first date.
A really fucking dumb thing to say.
Even if you know it's true, why would you ever say that?
Quick relationship advice in the middle of the suck.
If you're going on a date, don't say negative shit about the other date on any level.
Oh, so your name's Alice?
Mom's gonna hate that.
What are you doing, you fucking weirdo?
Even though she had heard that
Troubling story about him before you know about the pressuring girls to you know be sexually promiscuous get him drunk
Alice's relief Jeffrey doesn't even try to kiss her none of the picnic the four teens then drive back to campus
Jeffrey is scorched Alice back to her women only dorm at point, he does ask if he can kiss her good night.
And Alice accepts.
And now so much future horror will start, right?
One of the guys of him being a gentleman now.
Now that now from this point forward, oh boy, I was loving this.
Shortly after Jeffrey left, Alice's hall phone rang.
They was Jeffrey asking what time she was getting up in the morning.
Because he wanted to walk her to every single one of her classes the following day.
Holy shit!
We have our first major red flag.
Maybe second after Alice's friend warned her about Jeffrey.
But this is big.
They have gone out on one date.
This is way too fast.
He almost seems very unstable or something.
Well, true to his word, Jeffrey is waiting
for her the next morning.
Now, Alice has started to think that Jeffrey
might be the answer to what the RLDS had taught her
her entire life, that the church was waiting for a prophet
to lead them to the new Promised Land,
but on the New Zion, she's already thinking this.
She's crazy too.
Right? There was a guy camp who told her,
you know, that her generation would establish Zion,
there was gonna be this guy for her, you know,
woof.
Well, she wonders, you know,
is Jeffrey gonna be this prophet?
If not, at least he seems like a good boyfriend.
So Jeffrey now sends long stem roses to Alice
every single day during the first week they date,
waits outside every morning to carry her
books. If Alice needs to go to the library, school cafeteria, the gymnasium, anywhere, he escorts her.
Everything he does revolves around Alice, everything. Smothered much? Even after Alice had gone into the
dormitory at night, he will call, give her advice on what she should wear the next day,
He will call, give her advice on what she should wear the next day, before abruptly telling her that she ought to go to bed. Whoa! If one of my kids dated someone who started doing this kind
of controlling shit, especially that early on, I might just have to terrify them into breaking
up with my kid, or maybe make them disappear. This is a huge fucking red flag, right? What a
controlling possessive nut job. Someone starts telling you what to wear, when they go to bed, maybe tell them to go get fucked.
Maybe don't pick up the phone when they call anymore.
Well, Alice would pick up the phone.
She would take these calls.
Afterwards, she would hang up.
She would put the outfit that he wanted, get it ready for the next morning, then go to bed.
The next morning, he would be waiting there with the compliment.
If she wore that, few times she didn't
and he seemed angry and disappointed. Run Alice Run. Nothing ever comes from an insecure jealous
controlling piece of shit. And more than once she now catches him and this is early on. This is a
week one of the relationships. More than once she catches him watching her through the window while
she's in class. That is so fucking creepy.
Alice though, she thought this meant he was devoted. She liked the attention.
Alice's parents did not do a good job talking to her about healthy relationship boundaries.
Someone acts like this with Kyler Monroe, right? I will be mocking that creep, making sure my
kids understand how insane that is. Then just one week after dating, he asked her to marry him.
kids understand how insane that is. Then just one week after dating,
he asked her to marry him.
This guy's just a walking collection of red flags.
1969, women could get married at age 18
without parental consent and Missouri,
but men, random, had to be 21.
Jeffrey's 19.
He knows that his parents will not approve of Alice,
who is poor, doesn't have status in the church.
Maybe the proposal he gave then was not meant to be accepted.
Maybe he just wanted some other things to happen.
Because soon after he proposed, he begins to pressure her for sex.
Her friend was right.
And not even finger-blasting.
He jumped straight to fourth base.
And she doesn't turn him down.
Now all Jeffrey wants to do is have sex.
Week two.
It was contrary to everything Alex had been brought up to believe, but for her doing this
was a sign that she loved him and that he loved her back. So they're, you know,
fucking costly. Uh, and whatever, but it's just the way this is all set up. I don't like
month or so later during Thanksgiving break, Alice and Jeffrey go to visit Jeffrey's parents
and independence. Jeffrey tells her before they go that there is no way his parents are gonna like
her and that they're gonna think that she wanted to marry him for his money.
And again, more weird shit, which, Jeffrey, why would you say that?
Like, giving her a heads up about his parents?
Okay, that's nice.
If you're doing the right way, telling her that there's no way they're gonna like her,
that's just cruel.
During the meal, nervous as shit, Alice hardly says anything, of course.
She thinks Don and Lois are both gracious and friendly, but she's too scared to talk
to them now.
Afterwards, she and Jeffrey go to see the movie Romeo and Juliet.
And apparently she spent most of the time with the theater throwing up in the bathroom.
Her nerves are shocked.
Back at school after the break, Alice is surprised what a friend tells her to tell Jeffrey
to study for his final.
This friend says, you know he's never been the class.
An Alice is shocked.
She confronts Jeffrey the next day.
He says, yeah, no, he's been going to class,
just no one sees him.
Mm-hmm.
Meanwhile, both of their grades are dropping.
Jeffrey's grades drop a lot more than Alice's.
Jeffrey fails literally every class that semester.
Not even a single D.
And he's told he cannot come back in the spring.
Well, panic, Alice now thinks that they need to get married right now. What? This dip shit flunks out of all of his classes, all of them is very first semester, the easiest semester
oftentimes, of course, load wise and she thinks, we need to get married. I need to lock this champion
up now. Some people are truly
their own worst enemies. The prospect of spending time away from each other is terrifying
for Alice, especially since sex have become a major part of the relationship. So major that
Alice thinks he's going to lose interest in her without it. And he has already lost some interest.
At home, Jeffrey is confessing his love for his old friend, Sarah, telling her that Alice
has been pressuring him to get her pregnant because she has a bad
home life and needs to escape. Sarah, having found more
confidence in college, turns him down. So now Jeffrey returns
to his consolation prize. This young relationship keeps getting
more and more sad in this functional. Few weeks after the spring
semester starts at CMS, you Jeffrey and Alice drive to Odessa
to talk to her parents now. They thought of a way to try and
force Jeffrey's parents to give marital consent.
This is how Alice's mom, Donna Kebler, remembers what happened.
She said, we were sitting around the kitchen table when Alice and Jeffrey asked us if we
would tell Jeff's parents that Alice was pregnant.
I immediately asked her if she was, and Alice said no.
But they wanted us to lie to Don and Lois so they would have to agree to the marriage.
Well, Donna said no, we're not going to do that. Then a month later, Alice and Jeffrey returned to talk to Don
and Ralph. And this time, Alice says, no one's going to have to lie because she is pregnant.
These fucking idiots literally getting pregnant just so they can get married. This is all so doomed
from the start. Jeffrey called his parents from the keyboard kitchen, broke the news, Don and Lois
are furious. Jeffrey asked Don and Ralph, if they will go with him, you know, and Alice to face his parents
and they agree.
And this meeting is ugly, to say the least.
At the Lungren house, Don rips into Jeffrey, right in front of everyone saying that he had
embarrassed the entire family and literally ruined the Lungren name.
Oh boy.
He said that he and Lois could barely
show their faces at church now. Alright, so go to a new church if you're going to be
such a fucking baby about it, Donnie. Lois claimed that Alice had trapped Jeffrey even called
Alice a whore in front of her parents. Lois class act. Donnie came to her daughter's
defense as the fighting came to a head, Jeffrey packed a few things and then left with Alice
and her parents. Following Monday morning, Jeffrey, Alison, Donna, drive to Independence Courthouse to
Independence Courthouse to get a marriage license. So on all that mess, the Lungrens do
accept that they're going to get married. I guess it's less shameful.
Still during the spring semester on May 5th, 1970, Alison, Jeffrey, do get married at the
RLDS church in Odessa. Odessa's in between Warren's burgundy independence. None of Jeffrey's family members show up.
Zero.
After we're juicing the, sorry, I forgot about this part.
For a second, God, this fucking killed me when I came across the first time.
After this, using $600 that Donna and Ralph gave them for the honeymoon, Jeffrey takes
Alice on a honeymoon to six flags in Arlington, Texas.
Oh, fuck yeah, bro.
Taking your pregnant young bride to a roller coaster park.
That sounds like the kind of idea hats from the mind of a dude who literally flunked every
single class he took in college and also stared at his new girlfriend while she was taking
classes from outside of the window like a fucking creep.
Alice is feeling morning sickness and understandably doesn't want to ride any roller coasters. Instead of
throwing a call on the thing off, now they still go. Jeffrey just
leaves her in the hotel room while he goes and enjoys the park by
himself. What a piece of shit, right? Yet another overtly bad sign
with this guy, one of so many, one of so many more to come. When
they get back from their honeymoon, I could not stop laughing when I first learned about this honeymoon. They had no car, no money, no job, no place
to live. These two are dumb as Apollo bricks. They solve the last problem by staying with
Don and Ralph and Odessa, who must have been overjoyed. And now Jeffrey starts worrying
about being drafted. I bet Don and Ralph prayed that he would be drafted. Maybe that he'd be killed in action. By January of 1970, some 40,000 Americans had already been killed in Vietnam.
10,000 of them had died during 1969 alone. To try and avoid the war, Jeffrey decides to
enlist the Navy under a delayed entry program that did not require him to report until
late 1970. After months off of mooching off of his new wife's family, like the complete
fucking parasitical loser, he was Jeffrey reports from Navy training in San Diego, California. 1970. After months off of, of mooching off of his new wife's family, like the complete fucking
parasitical loser he was, Jeffrey reports from Navy training in San Diego, California, November
8, 1970. Only Alice's sad to see him go, arrest the family, had long grown sick of the man who
lived with them yet never held a steady job and never chipped in, chipped in for anything,
not even gas or groceries. The story's so good.
Three weeks after he left, Alice gives birth to Damon Paul Lundgren.
She called Jeffrey, told him that he had a son.
Mostly Alice's little sister Terry
and Sue will end up taking care of the baby
because Alice will claim that she's too tired.
And then she'll tell her mom,
who works overnight shifts now,
that she was the one who'd been up all night with the baby.
So then Donna, her mom will take care
of the baby you're in the day. What a pair. Jeffrey and Alice champions
both. Jeffrey comes back to Odessa just in time for Valentine's Day, arriving the day before
February 13th, 1971. And he tells Alice two things. One, he's been studying scripture
a lot more. Two, his father has agreed to bless Damon, which is the big event in the Mormon faith.
As parents had already chosen a time date in place for the ceremony, the next weekend,
Jeffrey and Alice take Damon to meet his grandparents. Lois and Don are kind to the baby,
ignore her entirely, cool, what humble faithful servants of the Lord. The blessing ceremony takes
place following Sunday at the Slow-Report congregation and afterwards Alice, Jeffrey, and Damon, they go to Don and Lois's for a party.
And much to Alice's surprise, now her mother-in-law Lois throws her arms around her and gives her a bigel hug.
Ha! All the anger and hatred she had felt towards Alice had melted away during Don's Blessing of Damon, she explained.
Alice was now truly family and Lois began introducing Alice to her friends
as her new daughter.
Okay, Lois, I guess I gotta give you some credit here, good on you for bearing the hatchet
in your own weird way.
Confused but happy to finally have some acceptance, Alice now agrees to move to California with
Damon to support Jeffrey.
If you ever have been assigned to work as an electrical repairman on the USS Speary, a
supply delivering repair ship that served submarines.
But it wasn't scheduled to leave San Diego Harbor
for several months, so he was temporarily assigned
to work as a lifeguard at a base swimming pool.
All right, the fucking Jeffrey is crushing it.
They recognize his greatness and they put him
in one of the most important positions
you can get base swimming pool lifeguard.
I guess somebody has to do it.
Even though Jeffrey Dallas now regularly spend long happy days by the pool their marriage is struggling
Jeffrey is not what you would call a budgeter
He's blown his entire Navy paycheck every time he gets it forcing the couple to call both sets of parents every month asking them for more money
And because of the grandchild they get it the grandparents enabled this fucking walking turd to just be an irresponsible
dipshit. Sex is a problem too. All Jeffrey wanted as before was sex, but the sex did not
involve Alice's pleasure, like at all, all about him. More on Jeffrey's very specific sexual
taste later. Oh boy. And the spring is 72. Jeffries now transferred to the USS Shelton,
the battle tested Korean war destroyer with the crew of 275 men and two twin five inch guns.
And on May 30th, Jeffries told the ship is heading to Vietnam. Uh oh, his state side life
guard duties are over. On June 13th, Jeffries kisses Allison, Damien goodbye. 27 days later,
the USS Shelton arrives on the coast of Vietnam.
On the ship, Jeffrey will later say he spent all his free time reading the Book of Mormon.
One verse in particular interested him, verse 65 in the second book of Nephi, which said,
for the Spirit is the same, yesterday, today, and forever.
Jeffrey was intrigued by this idea of God, who always seemed to intervene in others' lives
like Alice's, but not his.
Hmm, when he could his intervention.
On October 15th, 1972, the USS Sheldon comes under attack.
All three shots missed the ship.
Four days later, enemy artillery began again.
But 35 minutes, enemy guns exchanged fire with the USS Sheldon and a nearby cruiser, the
USS Providence.
The two US ships fired more than 120 rounds of the enemy,
but neither US ship is hit. Same thing would happen in December when more than 190 shots
are fired at the Shelton, but none hit. Two days after that battle, more than 700 shots
are fired at the USS Shelton by a group of shoreguns, despite the repeated attacks, not
a single round hit the ship, and the captain will write in his notes that it was a miracle.
Can you see what this is heading for Jeffrey?
The US as Sheldon would sail out of the Gulf of Tonkin on December 22nd, making his way
home while the crew and celebrated their good luck.
Well Jeffrey had a different explanation for what happened than luck.
He would literally tell his shipments that he was the reason they had not been hit.
He was the only saint on the ship, a latteratter-day saint he said, and God had shown
him a sign by protecting them all. And so it fucking begins. Jeffrey's weirdest fuck believes
would not stop him from getting recognized for his wartime contributions. When the USS
Shelton returned to San Diego, January 13th, 73, Jeffrey will receive the National Defense
Service Medal, Vietnam Service Medal with one bronze star and the combat action ribbon.
And normally, I love that shit
Now what Jeffrey his ego does not need to be fueled
The South Vietnamese government also issue him
It's Republic of Vietnam campaign metal and it receives a special letter of accommodation for the outstanding job
He had done keeping electronic equipment aboard the ship in good working order
His evaluations by his superior show Jeffrey was an above average sailor,
skilled at his job and eager to please. Damn it. His dip shit
is a hero now. Or at least as being told he is. When he gets
out the ship, Alice is there to meeting with her son, the
end up staying at the home of Louise and mural stone,
mural was a chief petty officer assigned to the US Marine
Corps recruit depot.
Louise had grown up attending the Slover Park congregation and new Jeffrena's family.
Mural, who sometimes went by his nickname of Sonny, and Louise would not think that the
Long Grins had a very good marriage.
Sonny and I both thought that Jeffrey was tremendously rude to Alice.
Louise would say later, Jeff would make decisions without consulting her or even telling her about them.
He had complete control and all decision-making and he just expected Alice to accept that.
Right there we go. That's the Jeffrey I know. Not the decorated sailor,
the misogynistic shitfates. Alice wasn't allowed to even touch their checkbook,
literally not allowed to touch it, much less know how much money Jeffrey had in the bank.
She cleaned cleaned she cooked
She changed diapers wash clothes took care of Damon without complaining meanwhile Jeffrey had begun to work on another ship the USS
Showfield
Louise would also remember how fixated Jeffrey was not only on his own sex life, but on her and sunny sex life weird
Where's the remote details regarding why she said that but they're aren't
The Jeffrey sex obsessed a future coal leader?
Yeah.
Uh, October of 1973, the couples were not speaking much at all.
Jeffrey, not a real likeable guy to most.
He had almost no friends growing up.
Everyone he lives with other than Allison, his parents quickly end up hating on him other
than some followers he'll get.
November 23rd, 1973, Jeffrey ship leaves San Diego for Pearl Harbor. First
stop on an eight month trip that will take it to the Indian Ocean. Allison Damon returned
to Missouri where they move in with Allison's parents and Alice has learned that she is pregnant
again. As he had done a Vietnam, Jeffrey spent much of his free time with the Book of Mormon.
Shipmates later remembered a man who was always studying scripture, didn't curse, shuned coffee,
wouldn't smoke,
and wrote two or three letters to his wife every day.
And if that was some people, I would say good on them.
But fuck, Jeffrey.
Jeffrey will also claim to have a very odd experience during this time.
One night, of course, allegedly, Jeffrey said he had gone up on the deck to lift some
weights and exercise.
He was all by himself.
The night was clear except for one cloud. The cloud he said was weird. It was inky black darker than the rest of the
sky. He noticed that the cloud seemed to be following the ship. As Jeffrey watched
it suddenly zoomed down and attacked him, taken the shape of a human hand and pushed him
up against the railing as though it was trying to knock him overboard. So he screamed,
my God, save me, deliver me.
And within seconds, the cloud disappeared. He was safe. He'll later say that he believed
the cloud was Satan. And he's trying to keep Jeffrey from fulfilling his God-given destiny.
Yeah, yeah, no, that sounds like Satan. Not going to not going to show up to attack
a some terrifying demonic beast. Now, that's too predictable. Gonna show up as a weird cloud.
Dark scary cloud. You know, it's strong, but not strong enough to knock a regular dude off a fucking boat. Okay. Jeffrey ship returned to San Diego June 5th 1974. I did a few weeks later,
June 24th. Alice gives birth to a baby boy that she and Jeffrey named Jason. A few months later, November 4th, 1974, Jeffrey will be
honorably discharged from the Navy, right?
Said he had to take care of his family off he goes.
He has family now head back to Missouri where they move in with Ralph and Donna.
Now Jeffrey decides to go back to school, Central Missouri State University,
where he had previously flunked out of and he wants to become, he wants to become
a college professor.
Okay. Uh, he'll be accepted. His education will be funded under the GI bill. You know,
quickly get involved again with the RLDS student union becoming a sort of spokesperson for the
fundamentalist RLDS students who don't like some changes taking place in the church that the
liberal side is favoring. Right. The most heated debates are about women in church. Liberal side wants women to be allowed to become priests.
Gross.
Jeffrey and other fundamentalists say that only men
can be ordained.
Yes, that is God's way.
God, I know hates plus.
That's righteous.
Jeffrey would even start a whole meetings for his faction
at his apartment.
Two of his early attendees were Dennis Patrick
and Tanya McLaughlin.
Like Jeffrey and Alice, Dennis and Tanya McLaughlin. Like Jeffrey
Dallas, Dena, Dennis and Tanya had a short courtship just three weeks had passed between their first
date and getting engaged. They would soon become Jeffrey's faithful followers. So obviously they are
geniuses. While still having his meetings, Jeffrey would decide that he wanted to become a priest.
Pretty powerful position in the RLDS community Christ priest priesthood
members run local congregations. Unlike most denominations though, the RLDS does not have
salaried professionally trained ministers or at least didn't when all of this was happening.
Sunday services conducted by men from each congregation who have been called by God to service priests.
These men who worked during the week at non-church jobs, dithy up the chores each Sunday.
They either take turns preaching
or choose one of their own to serve as the regular pastor.
First step to join the priesthood is to receive the call.
At least two priests have to feel moved by the spirit
to recommend a saint as a priesthood candidate.
Once two priests recommend a candidate,
the district or stake office conducts a discrete background check
to make sure the perspective priest is worthy.
All this may seem tough to accomplish in reality.
Pretty much any dude who comes to church regularly and expresses an interest can become a priest.
Jeffrey decides he's on his way.
But though things seem good with Jeffrey's part time job at the university lab, he's making
all A's now supposedly according to him.
You know, family is moving out of Alice's parents house and do a new home, things
soon turn dark.
One day Alice will call up her old friend, Louise Stone, and tears.
So tell Louise that she found out that the family was thousands and thousands in debt,
all due to Jeffrey's bullshit, spend him money on God knows what behind her back.
I'm gonna guess, based on what we will learn about Jeffrey later, he spent a lot of it
on sex workers, porn, sex toys, etc.
Alice we even go to visit Louise where she and Sonny now live in Norfolk, Virginia and complained about Jeffrey for hours until Jeffrey shows up in a brand new Chevy
Carlo he had just bought
Louise then watches an amazement
Well her friend who had just seemed so miserable claps her hands would join
Simply the fact that Jeffrey had bought a new car and come to get her, it was enough for Alice to forget about him, put in their family
and do dangerous debt.
Jeffrey had financed the car through a credit union
that was largely owned by RLDS church members.
His dad was on the board,
and that's why he got the loan
despite a terrible credit rating.
And then within a few months,
Jeffrey's name appears on a list of delinquent borrowers.
He doesn't make his payments.
Donnie who knew nothing about the car loan
is so embarrassed he resigns from the board.
Fuckin' Jeffrey, the bane of Donnie and Louise's existence, or Lois's existence, excuse
me.
By January of 1977, just two years after Jeffrey's naval discharge, Jeffrey and Alice
have accumulated 22,000 unpaid bills that don't include their 22,500-dollar house mortgage,
and then they will be served in a viction notice. And without explanation, at least Alice, Jeffrey
quit school, just a few credit short of graduation. He's back.
This is a Jeffrey wanted to hear about this week. That straight
A student has a shit together, Jeffrey. No, complete train wreck of
a human being, preposterously self destructive Jeffrey. Some
administrators would later remember that there was a
disciplinary dispute. Alice would say that Jeffrey got caught stealing money. Sounds right, considering what he's
going to do in the future. And to top it off, the president of the district RLDS office
informs Jeffrey he is not going to be ordained as a priest. Not community of Christ unpaid
priest, material Jeffrey, you diarrhea of a front butt dump. Now jeffery was so angry that
he decided to drop out of the RLDS entirely. And then through some maneuverings with his
family, he got a job doing some electrical wiring at the Andrew Drum Institute, commonly
called Drum Farm in Independence. Founded in 1930 by Catwoman Andrew Drum is a home for
orphan and indigent boys. The institute was designed to be a work in farm.
Between 1560 boys, 860 to 17, with milk cows, 10 livestock, raised crops on some 360
acres.
And apparently for a little while, Jeffrey did well there.
The director would go on to get Jeffrey a full-time job as a farm manager, the job included
use of a cottage where Alice and the kids could live, and then they would even find jobs
for their friends,
Dennis and Tanya, who would also move to the drum farm.
But, after less than a year on the farm,
Jeffrey suddenly decides to leave.
Huh, others will say it was less of a decision
and more of a Jeffrey got fired
after being caught stealing again,
which sounds exactly right.
Now Alice is pregnant with their third child.
There are two children, seven and four.
Jeffrey tells Alice not to worry.
He's found a job now, a new job at Transworld Airlines
as part of a pre-flight inspection crew
that checks airplanes when they're on the ground at night.
They'll leave home, nine after night,
just before seven in the evening,
and then never come home with the same time the next morning.
And then Alice begins to notice
that things are disappearing from the house, pair of candlesticks, rifle. She asked them, you know, when he's going to get a
paycheck from this new airline job, he says, oh, yeah, at the end of the month, but then six weeks pass
with no paycheck. And now Jeffrey tells her that some other accounting department must have made a mistake.
Sensing all is not right. One night now when Jeffrey is out,
supposed to get work,
Alice decides to go looking for a paycheck,
thinking that he's hiding them from her.
Instead, in his desk, he finds hardcore,
or she finds hardcore porn magazines,
and a note from their landlord telling them
they're about to be evicted.
And he just didn't mention any of that.
Classic Jeffrey.
That's his Jeffrey being Jeffrey right there.
And then the next morning she calls TWA, and they tell her that no Jeffrey Lungren has
ever worked for their airline.
How the fuck did he think the situation was not going to blow up in his face?
What's he been doing?
A few days later, Jeffrey will be arrested for writing bad checks.
He comes home that day, Alice doesn't know how he got released and reassures his wife,
everything's going gonna be fine.
Oh, you should have ran when you had the chance, Alice.
He was fucking staring at you to the window of your freshman college class after telling
you what to wear when to go to bed the night before.
Now once again, Alice, Jeffrey and their kids, moving with Ralph and Donna, who are now
living in Max Creek, Missouri, arriving with no car, no money, no prospects. June 15, 1979.
God, they must have been so overjoyed to welcome their champion of a son-in-law back into their home.
How often did Ralph think about smothering Jeffrey in his sleep? I imagine very often. He's my
son-in-law. Oh, God, I'll be tempting. Jeffrey will, again, find a job, this time repairing medical equipment.
He is good at always getting a new job.
He could be a smooth talker when he needed to be clearly.
Not to his parents though, I notice.
They're not taking him in over and over again.
But shortly after they move back with Alice's parents, she gives birth to a daughter,
Kristen, another kid they can't afford, all not well for the Lungren family.
Jeffrey finds a house to rent for $100 a month, but his first check to the landlord bounces, and then their sexual problems start to ramp up again.
Jeffrey will later say that Alice was frigid. Wouldn't have sex more than a handful of times a year,
but Alice will have a very different story about their sex life. And I hope you're not eating right now,
especially not anything soft and brown. Just before Thanksgiving, 1979, Jeffrey took the kids to Donnis, told Alice that they were going to be spending some quality time together.
Little romance!
At home, Jeffrey tells Alice to go upstairs and take a bath.
While she is still in the tub, it is so absurd.
Jeffrey walks in naked.
He tells her to open the drain, let the water out.
But orders her, you stay
in the tub. He then steps into the tub so that he is facing her feet and how according
to Alice, he just suddenly, no warning, doesn't give her heads up about this, bends down
over her and literally shits on her tits. Showbiz, that's how they do it. Missouri. My
bear can't leave some pipe and hot peanut butter dropped off on those sugar tarts. Showbiz. Uh, that's how they do it. Missouri. My bear can't need some pipe and hot peanut butter.
Dropped off on those sugar totals. Alice will claim that this is when she discovered that Jeffrey
was fascinated with his own feces. He allegedly told her that he had been masturbating with his own
shit since he was 13. Yeah, you heard that right. He would use his own shit apparently as Loub to masturbate.
Some of you have gotten angry about my kingsham comments
in past episodes, but you know what?
Fuck that shit.
If you use your shit or someone else's shit
as Loub to masturbate with,
I don't think you're a bad person necessarily,
because I don't even care that you're doing it,
but holy fuck is that disturbing to think about? and I do worry about your mental health a lot I
would wager there's a very good chance you have some serious mental problems I
couldn't do it because that is disgusting I'm pretty sure you can't jerk off
involvement at the same time it is literally so filthy there's so much
bacteria Alice fell that she had no choice but to go along with this.
And now has shit smeared sex in the bathtub.
But she did have a choice.
She's rationalizing her part in all of this, right?
She absolutely had a choice.
She actually could have left him, right?
Live back at home with her parents without him, but she doesn't want to face reality in
the next half of the position.
She has put herself in with this maniac.
Right?
Who vigorously waved around a lot of red flags within their first 24 hours of
meeting.
The old sunk cost fallacy strikes again, right?
The phenomenon where a person has reluctant to abandon a strategy or
course of action because they have invested heavily in it already.
Even when it is clear that abandonment would be more beneficial, right?
This keeps meat sacks in bad relationships
and keeps meat sacks in cults.
Alice did stand up to him when she felt
Jeffrey crossed the line with her
when he tried to literally smear his shit on her face.
And now she told him to fuck off.
I guess good for her to have some boundaries. Wow, Jeffery needs a psychologist.
Or I don't know, maybe he'd gone with one bullet.
Play some solo Russian roulette.
Jeffrey now starts to disappear again,
telling Alice that he's been taking night classes
at the hospital.
And then of course, she finds out
that there are no night classes at the hospital.
Things come to a head with Alice demanding to know
where he was on Thanksgiving weekend.
Jeffrey had simply disappeared that weekend, vanishedished on Thursday, and then didn't
reappear until Monday.
Jeffrey said he spent the weekend in Springfield, about 50 miles south of Max Creek at a motel
with a woman who also worked at the hospital.
He said this woman wanted to marry him, but Jeffrey claims he did not have an affair.
He explained that he and this woman stayed in separate rooms.
She wanted to make love with him, of course,
but he was physically incapable of having sex, but because he was still in love with Alice,
Jeffrey would say that Alice's behavior towards him had driven him to this other woman.
That it was all her fault. I hate to place blame, but it's all your fault. Why wouldn't
you just let me spare my shit on your face? If you love someone, you let them smear the
shit on your face. Amazingly, Alice, you let them smear the shit on your face.
Amazingly, Alice, thanks Jeffrey
for not coming to the adultery.
And for not leaving her in the kids,
oh, Alice, sad, sad, Alice.
Please meet, say, X, raise your kids
to hopefully make better decisions than Alice.
Let Alice be a cautionary tale of what can happen to you
when you're not taught how the world really works.
Build up your kids' self-esteem,
teach them how to respect themselves,
teach them they don't need to be married.
They can take care of themselves, teach women,
they don't need a man.
That it is better to raise kids as a single mom
than it is to live like this, right?
Fuck all that old outdated patriarchal modalities
that nonsense that women need to stay with the man
even in this situation instead of striking out of their own. Now fuck living like this. Jeffrey now drives all of them back to the
rental house. It was time for bed that night. Jeffrey tells her he wants to make love.
And he literally points towards the bathroom. My God. Now, it's now understands that this
is a condition of having Jeffrey as a husband. She has to put up with his shit literally,
put up with his shit, or he will disappear.
This story is already so much more insane
than I thought I was going to be.
Q-Aless to having so much shit smeared all over her face now.
She must have had pink eye constantly.
Alice would also find out by calling the hospital
that Jeffrey had an affair and did have an affair.
And when she called a list of motel rooms,
they confirmed that, no, he stayed there with the woman.
There was no separate rooms.
Fully blaming herself, Alice decides that she has no choice.
If she wants to keep her husband, right,
she just has to submit to Jeffrey entirely.
Oh boy.
And so their sex life gets weirder.
Of course it does.
You let a guy literally smear his shit on your face.
Yeah, he's probably not gonna stop there.
One night in February of 1980,
Jeffrey brings Alice a glass of coconut vodka,
which shocks her because she didn't drink.
After a couple drinks,
he tells her that he wants her to give him a bath
and washes hair, then comb it and set it in rollers.
Okay.
Then he has her clean and fileless fingernails and toenails
and put on whatever night counts.
Then he shows Alice that's harness with the dildo
attached to it and tells her that he wants her to wear it and pretend that she is raping
him. It is pegging the clock. And shockingly she doesn't want him. I am honestly surprised.
You would think I've taken so much of his shit literally that she would love to aggressively
destroy his but hole, but he doesn't. In argument and so's, they start fighting physically.
After she grabs his throat, he throws her against the wall.
She crawls into the bathroom, locks the door and passes out.
According to medical records, at the lake of the Ozarks hospital,
Alice's spleen was ruptured and was leaking blood.
She wouldn't notice that until two weeks later when she passes out again.
Twice during the surgery to remove her damaged spleen, Alice almost dies.
She leaves the hospital in a march, but complications leave her bedridden while she is groggy
with medication after all this. Jeffrey has sex with her. Sounds pretty raping. That
a few weeks later, she discovers that she is pregnant again. Meanwhile, Jeffrey, still
writing bad checks enough to force him to move yet again and with Ralph and Donna. This guy, this is the guy
who will claim to be God's prophet. This absolute fucking loser. Just before moving with
Ralph and Donna, Jeffrey and Alice get evicted out of their landlord checks that the farmhouse,
that the lungs have been running, you know, don't go through the landlord is shocked
by what he sees. Everything is in disarray or broken. For some reason,
Jeffrey used a saw to cut through the pipe that drained the toilet, leaving toilet paper feces and
urine piling up on the basement floor. This guy loved poop. I never thought we would find someone
who loved poop as much as Albert Fish. Show me, but we might have done so this week. The puddle of
human shit in the basement floor is estimated to be foot deep,
and six feet in diameter.
And inside the bedroom closet,
landlord finds a stack of porn mags,
bondage and sata masochism mostly,
and beside them is a, quote, dirty dildo
caked with beacies.
Who's a poopy boy?
Jeffrey.
Who's a hot, hard poopy father daddy
simply dripping in his own shit.
On August, August six, this is so crazy.
This is someone's life.
On August 6, 1980, Jeffrey announced to his family
that he's quit his job at the hospital.
What his family didn't know was that morning,
a hospital employee had walked into an office
and caught Jeffrey and some lady there
that was his girlfriend embracing.
And he was witness fondling her breasts.
And instead of sticking around and getting fired,
he just leaves.
And he takes off for independence
where he will spend the following four months
likely staying with the family
while Alice is heavily pregnant
with her four childhood home with her family.
Her dumpster fire of a life just keeps burning hotter
and hotter.
December of 1980,
Alice gives birth to a boy and Jeffries pissed.
He wanted a girl. Why? Well well we probably don't want to know
Alice named the boy Caleb after Caleb mentioned in the Old Testament
She would also discover that Jeffrey had taken off his insurance taken her excuse me off of his insurance months before
Pocketing the extra cash and doing God knows what with it. So more money problems
But she still didn't think there was anything she could do about this
Though Jeffrey was still living in dependence. He would come by Alice's parents house on the weekends So more money problems. But she still didn't think there was anything she could do about this.
Though Jeffrey was still living in independence,
he would come by Alice's parents house on the weekends,
you know, and he stopped by,
visit, force Alice to have poop sex
with him in his sunken bathtub, not kidding.
One weekend, Jeffrey told her to strip
and he started to tie her up.
Then after they had sex, didn't untie her.
That idea of sex with her multiple times,
when she said she had to use the bathroom, he simply led her to the bathroom, still tied up, told her to do
her business on him. And she did more poop, never enough poop for Lord Jeffrey, the filer
of souls, God's chosen defecator. He kept her tied up for almost entire weekend. Who
was watching the kids? Well, all this is going on. Who the fuck knows in the story? February
of 1981, Jeffrey once again is arrested for bad checks this time Ralph sister pays his bail. Why?
And how embarrassing Jeffrey has zero shame. She shouldn't let him rot in there
Few days later, he somehow lies is way into another job at St. Mary's a hospital in independence making $32,000 a year
For the first time in their lives as a couple Jeffrey nowery and Alice now have enough cash to pay rent by groceries and
Still have a few dollars left over. So Jeffrey immediately starts buying a bunch of rifles. Yeah, totally. Don't save money, Jeffrey
Don't start an IRA or put money into a 401k. Don't save for a rental or to actually own a house, you know
Mr. Father of four kids. No, how boring?
Fuck delayed gratification. The
second you start making extra money, just start buying rifles. Smart. And the father
of 1911, Alice finds a beautiful two story stone house to rent located directly across
from the Independence Medical Center on East 23rd Street. The rents $400 a month. Man,
those days are sure fucking long gone. You could not rent a shed and battle mountain of out of for $400 a month now. They also start going to church again once they
hadn't done in years. And Jeffrey decides he wants to become a priest again. I mean,
well, why wouldn't he? He has so much wisdom to share with others. At least a lot of relationship
advice. What a great shepherd he could be. Also, he gets fired from his hospital job in
December of 1982. Fucking moron couldn't keep the best job he ever had for even two years.
Despite a desperate excuse me for money again, the Lunggrens hit up their old friends,
Dennis and Tanya for some quick cash, get a loan, they'll never pay back.
Then Jeffrey finds his very last paying job in April of 1983 as a salesman for a company
that sold equipment to hospitals.
And it will not last long at all.
Within just a few weeks,
Jeffry is asked to resign
because of questions over charge, card, and car expenses.
But who cares?
Just a few weeks before another opportunity had come up.
Through his new priesthood training,
somehow let this fucking dipshit in now,
Jeffry had met Dr. James H. Robbins,
a successful area podiatrist who had begun to think that his money and status were getting
in the way of his true salvation.
Sounds like an idiot.
Robbins started to think that the solution to his problem might be something called living
in common endeavor, a concept for Mormons that dates back to its early days.
Early church leaders like Sidney, Rigdon believed that the first Christians mentioned in the
New Testament had lived communally and he encouraged his followers to do the same, which is there actually
is a scriptural basis for this.
One group established a common outside of Kirtland in 1830, but within a year, a year, excuse
me, they began quarreling over possessions.
Of course they did.
Does true communal living, where everyone shares all their shit shit literally ever work for very long.
Or are we biologically hardwired to always be competing for resources on some level?
Over time numerous other devout Mormons had organized similar commons, but none had lasted
zero.
Nevertheless, after undergoing a surgical operation for stomach cancer in 1982, Robins was
more eager than ever to try communal living.
So in February of 83, Jim Robins and his wife, Laura,
told the Lungans that they wanted to help support them
to form a commune with them.
Jeffrey must have wiped so much shit
on Alice's face that night in celebration.
Probably covered himself as well.
Maybe after Alice put his hair up in rollers
and used a dirty dildo to peg the shit out of them.
What Jim and Laura didn't know was
that the Lungans were being supported
by other church
members as well.
They got donations from two other families besides the Robinson's and paid for their rent
utilities from a special fund for poor Mormons.
Jeffrey is such a parasite.
Around this time, Louise Stone visits Alice and is shocked to see that there isn't any
food in the house, not even a crumb.
Then returning with Alice one day, she sees that the front porch is overloaded with groceries now.
When she asks Alice where it has come from, she says that Jeffrey has prayed and worked
with that with God.
Other people have to work jobs.
Alice said, but Jeffrey has things to do for God and doesn't have to work like everyone
else.
Other people are supposed to take care of Jeffrey and Jeffrey is supposed to serve God.
Uh-huh.
Jeffrey needs a fucking hard punch in the face.
Uh, I want to feel bad for Alice.
She is a victim in all of this.
She just, she makes it hard to sympathize with her for me at least.
She makes just so many unbelievably stupid choices.
Uh, just so delusional.
The robins and the Lungrins will take a trip together now to Kirtlin, Ohio,
which will end abruptly
when Jim Robbins still suffering
from some of cancer collapses.
Allison Laura wanna get him to a hospital
but Jeffree is calm.
He says he's gotten a hold of some of Jeffree's poop
from the bathroom the other day.
He's eating it based on taste and texture.
He knows Jimmy's all good, but no, for real.
He said he prayed about it and Jeffree's gonna be fine.
Couple days later, Jeffree told Jim that he'd been praying.
God, give him a choice.
He could either witness one of the visions
that Joseph Smith had seen
or he could cure Jim of his cancer.
And he chose to cure Jim of his cancer
because he's the best guy.
And now Jeffrey said Jim is cured.
Jeffrey's cured him.
He's good, cancer's gone.
After a few baffled moments, Jim thanks him.
Said he didn't know if he was cured
turns out he was in a sense all he knew that he had placed his faith in God when Jim Robbins
went to church that Sunday everyone is buzzing with the marvelous story of how Jeffrey Lungren
miraculously cured Jim's cancer meanwhile during taxis of 1983 Laura and Jim discovered that
they had given the Lungrens over two hundred, oh, excuse me, over two thousand dollars.
I almost really ramped that up.
And they weren't even sure Jeffrey was looking for work.
How are they supposed to live communally when Jeffrey didn't seem to want to contribute
at all?
And this is why communal living doesn't work.
They quickly fall out of favor with one another.
Early October, 1983, Jeffrey is ordained at Slover Park into the RLDS priesthood.
He had been out of work from more than a year
But the elders in the church didn't seem to mind
Years later regular members would still recall his first sermon
He didn't speak from a prepared text instead. He read a series of scriptures
Every one of the verses was about was about God's wrath and how he would destroy the wicked and he seemed to stare at one member of the
Congregation a lot
Jim Robbins would feel like that servant was pointedly aimed at him.
How dare Jim get mad over being irritated with Jeffrey after giving him a $2,000
and not being given anything in return other than the cancer cure.
Jim actually would live 15 more years until 1998.
Yeah, Jeffrey got lucky with that one.
Uh, Jeffrey would not be asked to preach again after his fire in Brimstone than dead a sermon
Also in the fall of 1982 Jeffrey and Alice's son Damon now 13 has an accident breaks a rib. It punctures his liver
Alice saves them in the hospital, but in one night Jeffrey insists that she come home
She does come home, but she wants to head back to the hospital be with her son
When she tries to leave to go check on her son, Jeffrey throws her to the ground and literally rapes her.
She cries for hours until Jeffrey walks in with the rose,
he had put into a vase like nothing had ever happened.
My God.
The next day, Alice telephones Louise Stone
comes clean about everything.
She'd experienced at Jeffrey's hands,
including all the feces stuff.
And Louise tells her, you need to get a divorce now.
But then that night, Jeffrey comes home, tells Alice he'd had a vision from Jesus a vision
Excuse me of Jesus Christ on the cross said he was one of the masses crucifying Jesus
But then he made eye contact with the Son of God and then he morphed into Jesus' consciousness cool story, bro
Then he said he could see all things past present and future and he fully understood God's love for all of humanity.
And Alice apparently told him, that was the most beautiful religious experience I have ever
heard.
And when Louise called her that afternoon to check up on her, she said she can't get
a divorce because if she does, Jeffrey's not going to be able to do his work for God.
Again, sad, sad Alice.
And in the fall of 1983, Jeffrey starts teaching Sunday school classes for the Slowver Park
RLDS congregation.
Apparently, they will take anyone.
His classes are immediately controversial.
Nearly everything Jeffrey is teaching is based on fundamentalist RLDS doctrine, but these
conservative beliefs are no longer fashionable amongst church leaders.
The idea that the RLDS was God's only true church was now being
deemphasized. Some liberals had even suggested that the Book of Mormon was a fictional morality
play, not Holy Scripture, and there was the issue of women becoming priests, which the liberal
side was strongly advocating for, and Jeffrey hated all of this. His lectures were old school,
filled with predictions about God's coming wrath destruction.
Maybe some poop.
There will be poop children.
There will be great shitstorms and they will bring turds to the righteous and the wicked.
No one will be spared from God's shitstorm.
You will have so much poop smeared upon your face as children and it will be glorious.
I mean, horrible.
When in April 1984, the church allowed women to become priests.
Jeffrey is more upset, right?
Women are not meant to be priests.
They're meant to be empty vessels for men to fill with poo for something.
That June, Jeffrey taught a lesson that simply pushed the slower park elders too far,
teaching a Sunday school class to God and Christ were the same entity, not two separate
beings.
What a weird thing for him to do.
Because Jeffrey's comments contradicted RLDS doctrine.
Now they raised questions about Joseph Smith,
Jr.'s first vision.
The saints had been taught that God and Jesus Christ
had appeared as two separate individuals in front of Smith.
Right? That's a different thing with LDS, RLDS,
that the whole spirit, God, Jesus,
there are three entities, not three parts of the same.
Some congregants immediately openly call him a liar.
Others say he's been influenced by none other than Satan, church fight, Jeffrey
reacts by inviting Georgia, Dennis and Tanya Patrick, Dennis and Cheryl Avery, about six
other couples to his house on Sunday afternoons for some private scripture classes of his own.
Dennis and Cheryl Avery will play important and important and also tragic roles in the story.
They were pretty immediately identifiable as outcasts in their community.
Dennis was small, messy, not well liked, Cheryl awkward, as fuck, uncomfortable around strangers.
Both socially awkward.
Cheryl had grown up in a poor family with two brothers, her mom and her stepdad, never knew
her biological dad, who abandoned the family when Cheryl was seven months old, while on
a tour of the Pacific with the army.
Without money to attend college, Cheryl bounced around for a few years until Labor Day weekend
in September of 1969 when she met Dennis.
She was 22.
He was 29.
It was both of their first dates.
Ever.
29 going on a first date.
Unless you are truly asexual, possible big red flag there.
I mean, what is going on socially?
Maybe just super, super awkward, maybe some mental health problems. Anyway, these two will get married
eight months later. Dennis is described as looking stereotypically nerdy with thick frame glasses. He
grown up in Baldwin Park, a suburb of Los Angeles, graduated from high school in 1958.
Excuse me, before working as a clerk at a bank in a mail room, oh, excuse me,
and in a mail room, both were good, well-intentioned people.
Not go getters, but nice.
Dennis had a reputation for being sort of lazy, which, you know, was maybe why they were
always broke, especially when their three daughters came along.
Yeah, who cares about any financial stability before you have kids?
None of the Avery family fit into the Slow-Repart congregation, and so they were glad when they
befriend a Jeffrey Lungren and his wife Alice at first
This new friendship will not work out well for them at all not in the end
Now it is on off brand Sunday school Jeffrey will tell a few people listening that he had another vision that God had shown him two options
He would choose riches live a normal life or he could walk down the Lord's path and serve him
Jeffrey said of course he had chosen God's path
He walked down the path in this vision which featured a rowdy bar where sinners are drinking,
hanging out.
Then he came to a place full of heavy fog.
There God gave him a bunch of poop to wipe all over his face, wiping that good shit,
God shit, all over his face, and of course, all over his not-so-clean-ween, so glorious!
No God gave him gold plates.
Some new gold plates. Not the same gold plates that Joseph Smith had received.
Now, these were identical, but different plates. And like with Smith, God wanted someone to transcribe them.
Almost like he's plagiarizing Smith here. Not imaginative enough to come up with his own vision. He is the generic counterpart to profit,
profit, Joseph Smith.
Like, he could be like in the action figure world,
I've been talking about lately,
he could be the generic version of profit, Joseph.
There's profit, Joseph is name brand,
and profit, Jeffrey is a knockoff.
Even sounds like a knockoff.
You know, whereas profit, Joseph starts an empire,
the largest, most financially successful,
new religion in the last few centuries, he reimagines the afterlife,
makes it better, new levels of heaven are added,
creates an entirely new vision of the Godhead,
the second coming, adds so much rich mythology,
reestablishes polygamy, takes multiple wives,
Prophet Jeffrey, on the other hand,
gets about six couples to come to his house
and bitch about how the church
has let women become priests.
Barely dips his toes into polygamy later, focusing more on pooping on his one wife.
Rips off the same types of visions that Smith had.
He's a, he's especially sad knockoff.
But still happens to be part of the set.
Move from the makers of fighting man, atomic man, flying guy, warrior woman and attack cat.
It's profit jeffery.
Do you need a new profit?
Do you need a new guru?
Do you need a new guiding light?
Get you some paradise, but you don't want to pay too much for a name, friend, profit? Why, he pay for profit?
Joseph, when profit Jeffrey is half price?
Do you want to get pooped off?
Do you want to get pooped off?
Prof. Jeffrey knows what you want, and you want to get pooped off?
Prof. Jeffrey can hear God's truth, God knows what you want, and you want to get pooped on Profit Jeff Figgin here, God's Truth, God knows what you want
And you wanna get pooped on
And you wanna get pooped on
But you don't want to pay too much for a name
Brand profit
Save your money and buy profit Jeffrey
For half the price he can't shit on your tits
Complete your actions, hero people said today
Fighting man flying guy, warrior woman attack cat
Atomic man and now profit Jeffrey
And coming soon karate lady and spy person
Oh poop and actual prophecies not
included you got to make that shit yourself make that shit rub it on your fucking face
okay that might have been too too much or might have been just enough or might
have been the best song anyone's ever come up with in 10 minutes I hope the
neighbors here in the building enjoyed that anyway it is knockoff vision knockoff
profit Jeffrey started taking the plates to the
church.
God told him the church couldn't translate them because they hadn't been faithful enough
to God's word.
Totally.
You know, it's fucking cock suckers.
All this, of course, meant that God wanted Jeffrey to personally bring forth revelations.
Okay, burdens on him.
And it meant that the current president of the RLDS church, Wallace Smith, was a fallen
prophet. And all this made sense to Alice because Alice, as we know, is very bad at thinking,
especially when it comes to Jeffrey. She still believed that the man at her summer, what
the man at her summer camp had told her that she was going to marry a man with a mission
from God. Too bad that summer camp guy didn't give her a heads up about all the poop stuff
that guy was going to be in due.
Soon Jeffery's mission becomes clear.
In July of 1904, Jeffery announces that the family has to go to the Kirtland Temple in
Kirtland, Ohio to fully hear God's message for him.
To go to Kirtland, the family sells some valuables including Jeffery's gun collection.
They take up donations.
The couples who had gathered at the Lunggren's house gave them money for moving expenses.
Who knew it would cost a bunch of money to head to Ohio?
On August 19th, 1984, the family arrives in Kirtland and they immediately go to the red brick
Kirtland RLDS church and visitor center.
And they talk their way into living in a church-provided house there.
Jeffery soon dedicates himself to giving tours.
The manager of the temple puts him in charge of the financial records, not good, collecting
the offerings, offering Cleft the temple, keeping track of sales as the visitor center.
He'd tell the church, which wasn't paying him a salary that he was surviving on a monthly
stipend from an inheritance, which was a lie.
God's prophets love to lie.
This prophet Jeffrey flat broke, but always seemed to have money from somewhere.
How did he blow through Jimmy's compound money already?
Well, I don't know. He blows through lots of money.
Dennis and Cheryl Avery were the Lungrens first visitors at their new
compound, new home, not compound yet.
When she returned home, Cheryl sent a long letter to her mom,
saying that she had found someone with the answers that she had been looking for.
Jeffrey would also run into Kevin Curry and old buddy from the Navy in
Kirtland. Kevin and Jeffrey had, they'd had conversations about
warm and is and wall on duty. And the year since Kevin had lapsed, he got married,
got divorced, even been involved in a, oh no, homosexual affair. And now he wanted to
get a cure him of his desires instead of, I don't know, embracing them on his journey that
they weren't maybe just going to go away magically and possibly live in a very happy homosexual
life. Kevin's religious fervor reignites in Jeffrey's presence.
In January of 1905, Kevin requested transfer
to a VA hospital outside of Cleveland.
And when it was approved, he moves in with Jeffrey and Alice.
He slept on a bed that Jeffrey put in the room
where Damon and Jason slept.
Okay, now I hate Jeffrey and Alice.
Sorry, Alice, I tried to feel sorry for you.
I really did, but fuck you both.
You wanna let Jeffrey shit on your chest?
Okay, but you let him bring some random fucking dude home
and let that guy sleep in a room with your young sons.
Do you want them to end up molested?
Let him sleep in your room if he has to stay with you.
He can poop on Jeffrey while Jeffrey
poops on you or something.
But don't bring your kids into this mess.
Not where, you know, this dude has nightly access to them privately, you are asking for trouble. At first, Kevin gave Jeffrey
money each week for groceries. Then in early March, Jeffrey suggested that Kevin give him
his entire paycheck each month. This according to Jeffrey was so Jeffrey could maintain
household authority in the kids' eyes. And that argument somehow made sense to Kevin.
Kevin earned about $1,600 a month
and now he hands all of that over to Jeffrey. Meanwhile, Jeffrey astounds Kevin with talks
about visions. He's having all kinds of visions. Sure, God could have picked, I don't know,
Michael Jordan to receive visions. MJ has just started playing for the bulls at this time.
He's about to single handedly change the popularity of the NBA, become one of the most, uh, you know, known figures in the entire world.
But no, why waste time with Jordan when you can have Jeffrey, Jeffrey will surely reach
more of the righteous than Jordan.
One night Jeffrey claims to see a ghostly white figure heading up the stairs of the temple.
That figure he said was none other than Joseph Smith.
He said that if only he had been cleaner
a better person, he could have spoken to Smith.
Maybe Smith didn't like all the feces.
When Jeffrey repeated the story at church on Sunday,
everyone was shocked, but also believed him.
Oh boy, though he was still entertained.
Though he was still entertained by Jeffrey Kevin, though,
now not happy with the overall setup.
Once he began giving over his paycheck,
he would start to feel less like a roommate
and more like Jeffrey and Alice's kid.
He had to ask them for his own money
and provide a good reason for needing it.
Jeffrey would always make it clear
that Kevin was using his own money selfishly.
Kevin started to babysit the kids,
clean the house, cook most of the meals,
all while giving his wages to Jeffrey and Alice.
Alice and Jeffrey also start getting close
with the temple's new interns,
especially Sharon Blunchley.
Like the Avery, Sharon was a bit of an outcast.
Never been on a date, never kissed a boy.
She was 27 without a career path or a family.
A few days after Sharon arrived in Curlin,
Alice invited her over, the easy money.
They began talking about Jeffrey,
and in a matter of minutes,
Jeffrey appeared saying that he'd gotten a sense that someone was talking about him.
At the time, Sharon thought he really was having some kind of amazing intuition, maybe
little minor prophecy, right?
This is a spiritual gift.
Later she would think this was a setup, which it was.
During the summer of 1985, Alice shows Sharon how to fix her hair, how to buy clothes,
to compliment her figure, how to do her nails, how nice, how kind.
Then Alice takes a step further and wants to become Sharon's sex therapist of a sort.
Alice, Skidmark Lungren, a sex therapist.
I'm gonna go out on a live and say
that she's very unqualified for that,
but she does anyway.
Alice has Sharon watch a video tape
of Tina Turner dancing,
fucking random, and some soft core porn.
I don't know. That's a weird pairing. Urging her to become carnal, sensual and devolation.
Short time later, Alice asked Kevin to take Sharon on a date. Doesn't lead to anything.
Definitely doesn't lead to Sharon taking a dump on his chest or pegging over something.
But at least now she's been on a date. Eventually Sharon agrees to turn over her salary of $500 a month
to the Lungren household,
and in return they promise to pay her bills and feed her.
Meanwhile, Jeffrey is now focusing on another intern,
19-year-old Danny Kraft.
He tells Danny in a totally not-cream-weight-alt
to call him dad and Alice Mom.
Totally normal.
For a 35-year-old man and a 34-year-old woman
to ask a 19 year old
that they've just met to call them mom and dad. You can trust us. Also around this time,
Jeffrey is sending Kevin out on recon missions, spying on various interns, find out what
they're saying about the Lungrants. And Jeffrey is collecting and keeping what he calls love
offerings from his guided tours of the church, even though he is technically supposed to
hand over all offerings to the temple and the community center, right love offerings
What a nice way to describe stealing from a church
Did you steal tithing from the congregation Jeffrey? Oh, it never you must be thinking of the love offerings
I've been collecting did I accept some generous love offerings?
Of course I did it might not talk to accept love is that what you're saying?
After the summer I went to a close all the interns had departed, except for Sharon.
It was time for the church to audit the books
for the Visitor Center.
Temple manager now discovers that donations were way down.
Much less than they'd been the previous year,
even though a record number of tourists
had visited the center. Huh, how weird.
Wait a minute, the books started coming up light.
When Jeffrey is putting charge of them,
Jeffrey Longrin, Lord shit fingers. The guy God's always talking to. the book started coming up light when Jeffrey is putting charge them Jeffrey Lungren
Lord shit fingers the guy God's always talking to
When question Jeffrey simply blames one of the interns
Meanwhile, he starts teaching his private Coltie Sundays. Well again, is now focused on something called
Chiasmus in a non-religious sense or I'm sorry at this point
He is not I believe this is not private. He's teaching these for the church.
Yes.
And a non-religious sense of chiasmus is a reversal in the order of words in two otherwise
parallel phrases, right?
Like ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country
from JFK, or one should eat to live, not live to eat, Cicero, all for one and one for
all, the three musketeers.
Well, the theological foundation
of this kind of study for Jeffrey was that in everything created by God, the right side is a mere
image of the left side, people who believe in this concept, site, old testament books, such as
Psalms, Proverbs, Lamentations, Micah, Obadiah, Habakkuk, Nehum, and Zephaniah,
saying there are actually long Hebrew poems.
Digging into some deep biblical cuts with Obadiah and Zephaniah,
prophetic books such as Isaiah, Job, Joel, Amos,
Hosea, and Jeremiah also contain lengthy segments of poetry.
But unlike English poetry, old Hebrew poetry
doesn't have rhyme or meter. Instead, ancient Hebrew poems were written in a style called parallelism.
Parallelism, basically instead of rhyming sounds, grow, show, poets would, I don't know,
for lack of a better phrasing rhyme thoughts. Essentially, they would repeat themselves.
For example, in Psalm 19 verse 1, a Hebrew poet wrote,
the heavens declare the glory of God,
and the firmament show with his handiwork.
Both lines say the same thing in different ways.
Chiasm is basically a diagram of when these thoughts get repeated
most often in the pattern, A, B, A.
Right? Verse 27, chapter 2,
of the New Testament book of Mark is a chiasm.
The Sabbath was made for man, and not man for the Sabbath.
The way you would diagram this chiasm is A, the Sabbath.
B, was made for man.
B, and not man, A, for the Sabbath.
Once biblical scholars started doing this, some of them found that chiasmic verses often
had one line that was not repeated.
This line nearly always in the center of the poem. For example, Isaiah, chapter 55 verses 8 to 9 reads,
A, for my thoughts are not your thoughts. B, neither are your ways my ways. C,
for as the heavens are higher than the earth. B, so are my ways higher than your ways.
A, and my thoughts than your thoughts. The chisem seems to indicate that the C line
for the heavens are higher than the earth indicate that the sea line for the heavens
are higher than the earth is the most important line in the text. By looking at scripture this
way, you could supposedly figure out all of God's hidden meanings, right? Find those sea
lines and read between the lines, so to speak, read of the real Bible. Most biblical scholars
say that this is all nonsense, that the sea lines don't actually have anything to do
with the secret message. Instead, chayaismus was particularly popular in the literature of the ancient world,
including Hebrew, Greek, Latin, even ancient Maya, people across the Atlantic,
you know, because it articulated balance in order.
Two things thought essential to something's beauty.
Also intended to be convincing because Kayaismus creates only two sides of an argument
or idea for the listener to consider,
and then leads the listener to favor one side of the argument.
And for that reason, it was favored a lot
by the Greeks in their oratory style,
which would then become some of the foundational ways
in which we think about speaking and writing
in the Western Judeo-Christian world.
Jeffrey would lean in hard to chiasmic interpretation
and take it further than even other fringe chiasmic interpreters.
For Jeffrey, Chiasmus meant that now he had a full proof
way of separating God's words from man's words in Scripture,
separating the true divine message from any messy interpretation.
And he believed this because of the line in the Old Testament book of Job,
verse 14, in chapter 33, which read,
for God speaketh once, ye twice, yet man perceiveth it not.
To Jeffrey, that was clear proof, yet man perceiveth it not.
To Jeffrey that was clear proof, the God spoke in chiasmus.
Meaning, everything divine had an element of chiasmus in it.
He'd take a red pen to his Bible in Book of Mormon, cross out passages where there was
no chiasmus, and claim those passages were not God's messages.
He would even say that the Kirtland temple was an example of a chiasmus because the right
side was a mirror image of the left side. The human body, he would say, is a chiasmus because, you know, if you cut it
down the middle, both sides are symmetrical, ish. The world was so full of secret chiastic messages.
He even claimed that he moved to Ohio because the word Ohio is chiastic. But is it?
Oh, right, the A's match up, the B's, H and I, different letters. But this all made sense in.
And it made him seem to some, to a few, like a man whose interpretations of scripture
were not based on emotion, but something real, improvable, intelligent analysis, which
he said he had invented, which he did not.
The academic study of chiasmus in modern times can actually be dated to the work of Niels Wilhelm Lund, who published articles in 1930 and 1931.
There was a book entitled Chiasmas in the New Testament published in 1942, and it
become a small part of some people's biblical studies.
Before Jeffery started preaching about it, most of his congregants had even read an
article written about it by Ray Treet in the Zera Helma record
about Kaya's missing the Book of Mormon. Still not everyone is always familiar with everything
being taught of their church. And I will say with Mormon doctrine specifically, there is
just so much scripture. There's the Bible in and of itself a massive companion of Information, the King James Version, 783,137 words, the Book of Mormon, 269,320
words. The average novel is between 70 to 120,000 words. There's the Doctrine and Covenants,
the Pearl of Great Price, newsletters, modern prophecies. So much information to process
and digest. It would be so hard to remember that someone else had also come up with a subscriber, seldom used form of interpretation before Jeffrey. So some thought that Jeffrey was
a scriptural genius now, a true modern day prophet, especially Alice, old poo fingers. Truly,
one of God's most important living prophets, maybe the most important. She thought so even when
Jeffrey claimed to find a hidden treasury where Joseph Smith had also allegedly hidden precious
objects in
Chappin Forest. Jeffrey claimed that while of course he had found it, God only told him in
a vision that the treasury would only be opened if God wanted it to be opened. And so if anyone
else went looking for it, it wouldn't appear. You know, they weren't worthy and stuff. You get it.
Classic God, mysterious ways. Jeffrey said that so far, God had only fully revealed to him one golden plate of messages,
but Jeffrey told Alice that he couldn't reveal
what it said because God didn't want him to.
Not yet.
And all of this made perfect sense to Skidmark.
Once you've learned how to accept being shit on,
having shit rubbed on your face,
while you're tied up and fucking stuff.
I bet it's easier to accept almost anything.
What Jeffrey could share with Alice was that writing was about what God, the writing he
saw was about what God wanted Jeffrey Lunggren to do.
And Alice was ecstatic, right?
With her bills taken care of courtesy of Kevin and Sharon and her husband on the precipice
of making a major religious move, she thought it was only matter time before something truly
amazing happened.
All her sacrifices, her weird, horrific sexual sacrifices, they were about to pay off.
There was at least one person who really was not excited about what Jeffrey was preaching.
The Reverend Dale Luffman had become the RLDS stake president in the Kirtland area back
in January of 1986.
As such, he was supposed to make sure that the 12 congregations in his stake operated smoothly
and adhered to church policy.
Loffin was a full-time, salaried employee of the RLDS who answered the church officials at their headquarters and independence.
Educated at Princeton University's Theological Seminary, Loffin was a liberal-leaning RLDS member who did not take to Jeffrey Lunggren's bullshit.
And I know you can argue that all of this, all of religion is bullshit. But
in that sense, he at least didn't, you know, in that sense, he, he at least knew that Jeffries
bullshit did not match up with the official bullshit as he had studied it. Lunger and
immediately told his son, he's school members that Luffman was preaching lies when the latter
spoke about God's love for everyone. Instead, Jeffries said their God was a God of vengeance
who would punish everyone. Nice getting a bit doomsday now.
Be pretty funny if this immediately costs him all of his followers.
What's he free?
God wants to punish everyone?
Why are we going to worship God then?
No, we're going to go pray to the loving God that Lovebun talks about.
No, thank you to this negative Nancy Gobbligook.
Lovebun told Jeffrey that he thought of his teachings.
Jeffrey didn't seem very apologetic, didn't seem to care.
And then while I'm sure he wanted to work towards having Jeffrey excommunicated, complicating
that was that fundamentalist elders of the congregation were rallying around Jeffrey.
However, leftman could still discipline Jeffrey.
The elders in the church had recommended that Jeffrey be promoted within the RDLS priesthood
to the rank of elder.
As stake president
leftman got the first shot at answering or rejecting that request.
And so he rejected it.
But the rejection seemed to win Jeffrey more status.
He was now a fundamentalist folk hero in the stake.
Jeffrey would still or would tell people jokingly that he was Joseph Smith reincarnated now.
Was he really joking?
Then Jeffrey let a boycott of leftuffman sermons in church groups.
Meanwhile at home, Kevin notices the Jeffrey is spending hours talking about how he is going
to lead a revolt of RLDS fundamentalist against Luffman and more.
He's gonna oust Wallace B Smith, the prophet president of the RLDS, he's gonna fire Luffman,
kick all the women out of the priesthood, restore the true RLDS church, and declare himself
new president prophet.
Oh fuck yeah bro!
And then
Jeffrey almost gets himself kicked out of the FLDS. In late April, 1996, Managers the temple
noticed that the money in the visitor center's cash box does not match receipts they had.
$67 is missing. And Jeffrey says, yeah, he did take it. He used the money to buy groceries for his
kids. Even though management knew he had been saying that he had been living on an inheritance.
They decide to let this petty theft go for now.
Meanwhile, Jeffrey decides to go on a lecture tour
to Richmond, Missouri, where he also meets up
with a friend Richard Brand.
Yes, Dick Brand, his old friend Cheryl and Dennis Avery.
He urged all of them to come to Curland
and as soon as Jeffrey got back,
he started socializing with the new summer interns and returning intern at Danny Kraft
Richard Brand would soon take Jeffrey up on his offer and which is great
Got some dick in this cult now. This story keeps getting better
The youngest of three children and the only son of Wilmer G and Twilly a brand dick grew up and what authorities would later describe as a quintessential
All-American home.
His dad was an air traffic controller and ordained RLDS elder, a good provider, Twilia
stayed at home to look after her children.
In high school, Dick was a member of the National Honor Society, the baseball and basketball
teams, and a writer on the school newspaper.
He was a solid Dick, salt of the earth, Dick, cream of the crop, Dick, real top shelf
Dick.
He graduated from the University of Missouri, everyone expects him to go on to graduate school as he was as one professor
described an outstanding young man full of potential and outstanding
dick.
Uh, but then he blow off better opportunities and study with Jeffrey Lungren
instead.
Jeffrey would wreck the stick soon.
Lungren would suggest that Richard Brent, uh, I think it's a brand,
brand to the tea moving with the family. Richard would sell the truck that he paid $13,000 for, for a mere 5,000
at Jeffrey suggestion and hand Jeffrey over that money.
By the fall of 1986, Jeffrey has attracted a core group of disciples. Kevin and Richard
live with him in the house, Danny and Sharon live across the street in student apartments
that they rented from the church. About twice a week, Jeffrey is holding special classes at his house.
Most are focusing on how the mainstream RLDS church is too liberal.
He's speaking about Dachai Asmiss how he is discovered through his interpretation that
every scripture has a secret hidden meaning that he can reveal to them, making him the most
in profit, most important profit.
Now, he tells Alice that the reason he had that vision back in 1983, the one where he
was at Jesus' crucifixion, wasn't a vision, it was a flashback, because he was actually
there.
And what sounded remarkably like the plot of the Highlander, Jeffrey explained that God
had created eight great seers at the beginning of time.
These men had lived in the centuries without knowing that they were immortal until God
needed them.
At that point, God gave them the power to understand who they really were.
It all made sense according to Jeffrey.
He was so special because he was one of these eight.
He had lived other lives before, and now God had unsealed his eyes.
It was his time to rise up and behead the rest of the Highlanders.
They could be only one.
Yes, of course. He'd always known he was special.
He knew it when he showed up his wife's tits in the bathtub.
Without asking her if it was okay, he knew it when he beat her up after she wouldn't
put his hair up in curlers and peg him.
He knew it when he started using feces as jerk off flu with a teen.
He was one of God's most important men, part of the elite and holy eight.
And Alice loves all of this.
Of course, she does.
She's Alice.
If being gullible was a sport, she would be the Michael Jordan that sport.
The pair did not immediately tell everyone else
that he's a prophet though.
Instead, they began dropping hints to their study group,
right?
Same things like, isn't it crazy how God's revealing
all these things to Jeffrey?
Follower Kevin Curie, he's skeptical.
He doesn't understand how words that sometimes
sure look opposite as hell to him
are actually perfectly synonymous
according to Jeffrey.
But if whenever he raises a complaint,
Jeffrey tells him he's not understanding the pattern
because he's not a special seeer.
Sorry, bro, it's above your pay grade.
He also notices that Jeffrey and Alice
are now trying to separate him from the others, right?
As soon as he starts to question things,
start rumors about him that he is okay,
which he might have been, Kevin now decides
to move back to Buffalo.
I'm assuming this was one of the best decisions
that dude had ever made.
Jeffrey and Alice then tell their congregants
that he left because he fell in love with another man.
Meanwhile, Jeffrey is now pressing Greg Winship
to join the group.
He'd come to Kirtland to visit his pal, Dick Brandt.
A brand, Greg was a very interesting scripture,
but more importantly, also from a wealthy family.
Around this time, also, the Avery family gives Jeffrey and Alice their old truck.
And now we jump ahead a few weeks to 1987.
With that explanation, Jeffrey invites Dennis and Tanya Patrick to move to Curland.
In January, two of his early private religious studies attendees, he suggests they sell their
house, bring the money they got for it with them to give to him.
Of course, February 28th, they drive to Curlin in a rental truck filled with their belongings
and stop at the Lungern House.
And then when they get there, Jeffrey is cold to them.
He tells them they are not welcome until they have learned things you have to learn mysterious
ways, yes, to act the part of the Coat Leader now.
Also in February of 1907, Dennis and Cheryl Avery announced to their families that they're moving
to Curlin. This is because Jeffrey told Dennis about the pattern, the chiasmus. Also in February of 1907, Dennis and Cheryl Avery announced to their families that they're moving to Kirtland.
This is because Jeffrey told Dennis about the pattern, the chiasmus.
According to Jeffrey, his chiastic diagrams proved that Zion, the fabled promised land,
isn't Kirtland.
Dennis and Cheryl are so eager to move to Kirtland that they don't bother to list their house
for sale with a realtor.
They sell it for $20,000 to some people they knew even though the house was worth far
more.
All that mattered to them was getting to Kirtland. February 19th, Dennis gives his two weeks notice at sent to your bank. Bank that
will be acquired and absorbed by US banks and afterwards where he worked for 17 years. He
gave up a good job in March. They rent a modest house just down the street from the Kirtland temple.
During the Avery's first two weeks in Kirtland, Jeffrey and Alice stopped by to check on them every day.
On May 4th,
1907, Dennis opens a bank account at the National City Bank. Jeffrey recommended it. Dennis
deposit $20,532.55, which included his savings and the money that was paid for his house.
Besides the Patrick's and the Avery's, Greg Winship has also moved to Kirtland to study
with Jeffrey. He's gotten a job as a tour guide at the temple. Jeffrey now starts to recruit another couple,
Ron and Susie Luff, who had once gone on a tour
to the temple with him.
They lived in Springfield, Missouri,
and Jeffrey's been corresponding with them.
Meanwhile, to his growing group of devotees
and Curland, Jeffrey is teaching scripture kind of,
starts teaching them his version of scripture.
This group includes Richard, Sharon Danny Gregg,
Dennis Patrick Tanya, Dennis Avery, Cheryl Alice, and on most occasions, Jeffrey, son, Damon Lungard,
who's now 16. Jeffrey tells him to erase everything in their minds that they thought they
knew about religion. He says, you must get Satan's garbage out of your memory banks. I will
teach you what to think, what to believe. Literally says that. I will teach you what to think,
what to believe. Cult, cult, cult. teach you what to think, what to believe.
Cult, cult, cult.
And this all seemed to the group pretty legit.
Jeffrey never said anything without having scriptures
that seemed to back it up.
And he would explain each verse and build on each verse piece
by piece until he had constructed this
an elaborate foundation that somehow kind of
maybe seemed to have proven his point.
He would just keep tossing out word salads
until these people are so fucking confused
that they would just agree with any interpretation
he gave them just to have the lesson be over with.
Dennis Patrick will notice that no one can disagree
with Jeffrey.
If they do, they're made to look like they're disagreeing
with God.
Using Kaya as Ms. Jeffrey would tell them
that what a certain piece of scripture actually said,
you know, as opposed to what it looked like it said.
And if the group couldn't see that,
he would just go over with him over and over and over again
until they would agree, right?
He would just wear them down with assertive, repetitive,
nonsense, that is classic brainwashing.
After several weeks of class, as Dennis and Tonya
finally began to feel that they're being accepted
by the others in the group.
Then on a late summer night,
Jeffrey comes to their apartment.
He explains that he wants him to join the family. The Lungrens called their own children
the natural. He explained, Richard, Greg, Sharon, and Danny were now unnatural. You know,
members of this second family. What an unflattering group to belong to. Thank you, Jeff. I'm so excited
to be unnatural. I as well have called them abominations. Well, everyone in the family
called Alice and Jeffrey mom and dad before Dennis and Tanya can become one of the unnatural. On his will have called him abominations. Well, everyone in the family called Alice and Jeffrey mom and dad.
Before Dennis and Tanya can become one of the unnatural's, however, there is something
they have to do.
If they want to be in the family, Dennis Patrick has to turn over his weekly paycheck from
the health spot where they worked.
Jeffrey said that Dennis would then submit a monthly budget to him and Jeffrey would
tell Dennis how much money he actually needed.
Jeffrey immediately got angry when Dennis told him that most of the money they'd come with him
and used to pay bills.
What the fuck you guys?
Bills?
You think your earthly bills are more important
than helping God restore his kingdom here on Earth
through profit, Jeffrey?
Dennis and Tony agreed to give Jeffrey all their cash
and future earnings.
Now that they're in the group,
they're allowed to come over more than once a week.
They could have begun to notice that Jeffrey not only controls the family's money, but directs
everyone's personal lives as well. Jeffrey claims that all of his followers names are hidden in
the scriptures, just as his was, along with the names of their true companions. Spouses God had
created specifically for them. This true companion bullshit is how he convinced Greg Winship stuck in
a struggling marriage to abandon his wife and head to Curlin, where he would have the opportunity to find his
biblically ordained spouse.
Meanwhile Alice tries to match makes Sharon with Richard Brent, saying that the two are
meant to be together.
Jeff Rea firms this on a scriptural basis, right?
Scriptural bullshit basis.
He would say, I looked in the scriptures and they were clear about it.
Sharon was of Richard's flesh.
Sharon needed thy dick.
It's all there if you understand Kiasmus.
This might have been less motivated by scripture, more motivated by an insult, actually.
A couple days earlier, Dick had poked fun and how pudgy Jeff was getting.
Do not mock thy prophet's physique, Dick.
Jeff read that immediately, when side looked at scripture,
finding a bunch of instances in which God was described as heavy and stout Jack that profits physique dick, Jeffrey then immediately went inside looked at scripture,
finding a bunch of instances in which God was described as heavy and stout to say that God
was fat and Richard laughed at that.
Then didn't think about it anymore.
Then a few weeks later, find himself matched with Sharon, the heaviest female member of
the group.
Still Richard agrees to start dating her.
At about the same time, Jeffrey announces that Dennis and Cheryl Avery are going through
their money much too quickly.
Jeffrey decides that he's going to hold a special class specifically designed to get the Avery's
cash.
He and Alice will do most of the talking.
The unnaturals will do their part by agreeing with everything they say and pressuring Dennis
and Cheryl to turn over the proceeds from the sale of their house.
Everyone in the family agrees to this go along with his plan.
June 27th, Dennis Avery comes to see Jeffrey. He and
Cheryl had decided to give Jeffrey a check. They wanted to be one of the heart and they wanted to be
of one heart and of one soul with everyone else and return Jeffrey promises to pay their rent
but with one stipulation. He wants cash, not a check untraceable. So Dennis agrees,
gives him an envelope filled with $10,000 in cash. And within an hour, Jeffrey is at Veef's sports supply by a 45 caliber inter-armed
semi-automatic pistol. Then he drives to pistol peets, another Ohio sporting goods store,
buys a 243 caliber, uh, Ruger hunt rifle, another 45 caliber Colt semi-automatic pistol.
Waits a week returns to pistol peets, buys a Ruger 44 caliber magdom handgun.
During the next two days, Jeffrey buys camouflage clothing, tents, camping supplies,
canned food, and hundreds of rounds of ammunition.
Jeffrey has stockpiling weapons and supplies for his quote storehouse.
And then he'll tell all of his followers what this is for.
Jeffrey tells his followers that major earthquakes are going to erupt during the final days
before Christ returns.
And a huge mountain is going to rise up underneath the Kirtland temple, lifting it up into the sky. This is based on Jeffrey's reading of a section of Isaiah.
And it shall come to pass in the last days when the mountain of the Lord's house shall be
established. All nations shall flow unto it. And many people shall go and say, come ye,
and let us go up to the mountain of the Lord. Once the temple was raised on this mountain,
Satan's armies are going to swarm to Ohio in a final attempt to destroy the temple, kill the last messenger and thereby prevent Christ from returning to earth.
What scripture is all of that based on? That's from the book of Jeffrey, unpublished.
According to his visions, Jeffrey and his followers would be waiting on the mountain for the onslaught, ready to fight Satan, restore Jesus Christ's kingdom, and as they did, they would have to live off the land without electricity, without houses.
Some of them would be killed, Jeffrey said, but they would also shed blood themselves,
lots of it.
So you know the needy guns.
You cannot fight Satan without a bunch of guns.
Everyone who knows anything about fighting demons knows that if you want to kill them,
you have to shoot them in the head probably.
I feel like they probably had zombies mixed up with demons, but you need guns for zombies. You need guns for energy. I don't think you need guns for demons.
By June of 1987, Dale Luffman has been state president for 18 months now. Still has not been able
to get rid of Jeffrey nor quiet to the growing feud that's splitting up his congregation. If
anything, Luffman is losing at this point. The adult Sunday school class at Jeffrey Todd
have become a stronghold for distance.
Yeah, he's teaching private classes at his house and also still able to teach a class
in the church.
Even if not everyone in the Sunday class agreed with Jeffrey due to his core of loyal followers,
Richard Greg Danny, Sharon, the Patrick, the Averys.
People are uncomfortable disagree.
By July, leftman felt the conflict had become in his words almost demonic.
And now he decided to confront his critics head on.
On Sunday morning, he walks into Jeffrey's class, makes a 15 minute plea for peace.
Talks about splits in the church, how they all needed to come together,
how he just wanted everyone to get along without name calling and fighting,
speaks for 15 minutes, and his shock literally no one replies.
They just opened their books and start reading
again. Jeffrey continues his lecture. It was like, Luffman was literally invisible, unable
to be heard. When the class ended, Luffman approached his Jeffrey and fire his. Luffman
is relieved when Jeffrey does not show up to follow in Sunday, but then dismayed to realize
that Jeffrey is still teaching classes, right? just again, you know, more outside the church and living rooms.
And nearly all of his attendees have followed him.
Now Jeffrey orders the members of his group to begin withdrawing membership from the RLDS church.
And in early August,
Kevin Curry knocks on Jeffrey's front door. He returned from Buffalo. He was homesick. He told Jeffrey and wanted to move back in with them.
So one of the best decisions he ever made quickly followed by one of the worst decisions.
Jeffrey said he was welcome to return, but his punishment he made Kevin sleep for a week
in the basement.
And also told him, just stop being gay.
No, Kevin, you really should have stayed in Buffalo.
He had your chance.
Thanks for looking better and better for Lord Jeffrey.
He joked, I'm gaining more followers than Luffin, but then some of old Jeffries recent
transgressions come back to
Biden and the S. A church official happened to notice that contributions to
the Kirtland temple and sales at the visitor center had plummeted to an all time
low. And the church ordered an audit.
Luffin would later say, over the period of time, the Jeffrey Lungren had been assigned
the task of taking care of the financial records two and a half years.
The church calculated he had extracted out of the till between seventeen and twenty one
thousand dollars.
But the church did not file criminal charges and other sources list different amounts.
They didn't have any evidence that Jeffrey had taken it.
The money had just disappeared.
Well, Jeffrey wasn't charged.
Old sticky fingers, lung green.
That guy just couldn't resist trying to fuck up every job he had.
Jeffrey and church officials strike up a deal. Jeffrey will resign his temple
guide and return the church will permit him to continue working for one more
month and will let him stay in his church provided house rent free for a few
more months until October. Jeffrey explains to everyone in this group of followers
that he's been simply ousted for preaching the truth. Now Jeffrey has a new
idea. He begins calling Realtors.
He gets in touch with a man named Stanley Skurbis
who owned a five bedroom farmhouse on a 15.07 acre
tract on the southern edge of Courlet.
Years ago, it had been a beautiful apple orchard
with a comfortable two-story farmhouse,
picturesque red barn,
but the trees have been neglected in the house
and barn were in bad need of repair.
Skurbis was willing to rent it cheap.
The entire acreage for $650 a month,
if Jeffrey agreed to fix up the property.
Jeffrey then called everyone together,
explained what he had in mind.
First, they would pool their money
and rent the Scurbus property.
Then they would repair the house and barn,
work to make the Apple orchard productive.
Over time, they would open the barn
as a combination crafts and antique store.
Jeffrey and Alice would buy and sell the antiques.
Group members would provide homemade crafts.
They'd sell quilts, handicrafts,
even homemade apple cider and apple pies.
Eventually they would buy the farm,
become so prosperous that none of them
would have to work anywhere else.
And then they would just wait on the farm
for Christ to return.
Cult, cult, cult, time to move into a proper compound,
everybody.
Everybody's excited.
They've been pulled in more people.
Shar Olsen, Richard Brands friend and Ron and Susie Luff.
The loves that recently become convinced that Jeffrey was someone special.
Old poop fingers, McGee, growing in power.
Ron quit his job at the James River power station in Springfield.
Listen to his reason for leaving his desired relocation and church work.
Ron and Susie will arrive with their two small
children, Matthew and Amy in September of 1987. As soon as Jeffrey paid the first month's rent
on the skirmish farmhouse, he and his followers get to work. They haul away trash, got the interior,
hang sheet rock, paint, paper, clean and polish. And within two weeks, the rickety farmhouse is
looking like a completely different property. By late September, it's ready. Jeffrey announced
that Kevin Richard Schar, Danny and Sharon will live with his family in the farmhouse.
The Patrick's, the Avery's, the loves, they're going to live in their own apartments, but
we'll still be required to financially support the commune. Of course, obviously, Gregor
men invited to live with the farm, but decided to keep his apartment while not doing renovations.
Jeffrey held lessons. Sometimes it would last until three or four in the morning. Got to
keep those followers tired of confused. Cult, cult, cult. If some of
them had a mistake in interpreting scriptures, Jeffrey had a session with them, his word for
punishment. Most of it was verbal abuse, strong or lessons in scripture, Dennis Patrick,
Susie Love, Dennis and Cheryl Avery received the most sessions and also his wife, Alice.
Guess she got some especially dirty sessions.
Everyone worked at the farm except for Jeffery and Alice.
Profits, obviously.
We're forbidden by God to have regular jobs
because that would require them to submit
to another human being is what Alice told the group.
And I guess that benefit extended to Profits' wives.
And with so many working adults,
the group was bringing in a lot of money now
or at least a lot of money for one man to hoard.
Richard had gotten a $22,400 per year job as a civil engineer in nearby town.
Kevin collected about 18,000 annually as a clerk at a veteran's administration hospital
in their Cleveland.
Sharon earned minimum wage as a cashier at a convenience store.
Shar got a job as a clerk at the Mark or Macro department store.
Danny Fram pictures at Gall Goulouse Fine Art Store,
Dennis Patrick worked first at Scandina Naval House Pa,
later at Chemical Financial Corporation,
earning $20,850 annually,
Greg earned $20,275 yearly as an account
to Astro Travel Service,
Ron operated a forklift at Cleveland Electric
Luminating Company, earned in $17,630 per year,
and investigators will later estimate that
Jeffrey and Alice are collecting between $1,500 to $2,000 a week from followers.
Followers who are also busy cleaning the farmhouse, dusting, doing everyone's laundry, picking
up after the children, doing all the cooking.
Adjusted for inflation, that's where I'll see between $4,000 and $5,400 a week actually
today.
And rent for their compound is $650 a month, about a third of their income for just one
week.
They're fucking killing it.
Jeffrey is supposed to use the income to pay everyone's bills, but classic Jeffrey.
Huh, you know, he doesn't.
Why not?
Well, mysterious ways.
No one but Jeffrey knew how the money was being spent.
Certainly not on anything fun for the followers.
Jeffrey frequently forbade them from even having a pizza night on Fridays.
Meanwhile, Jeffrey would take himself
and Alice out to regular dinners
or would order in from red lobster
and eat that shit in front of the group who did not get it.
What an asshole.
God's profit in his trusty sidekick, Skidmuck.
They need some cheddar biscuits and shrimp, motherfuckers.
Now go make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for yourselves.
The Avery's
were the only ones not making weekly financial contributions at this point. And that's because
you know, Dennis already gave him fucking $10,000 cash. And thanks mainly to that, they're
broke. The Dennis held a slew of low-paying jobs since moving to curling, non-paid more
than minimum wage, and the family had to apply for food stamps just to barely get by.
Even though he's living the high life off of the work of others,
Jeffrey soon begins to struggle with the anonymity of his new surroundings.
Right. He's a prophet.
Why isn't he being sought out for advice by the masses?
Why isn't he being heralded as the true leader of the RDLS church?
I mean, sure.
Red Lobster cheddar biscuits were delicious.
Pupin on skid marks fun, but his soul needs more than that.
Soon, Jeffrey comes up with another bit of theology for his followers.
Now he says that through interpreting scripture, he is convinced that God has given him a new name,
the defecator, the final of souls.
No, the destroyer.
He's the destroyer now.
Jeffrey explains that God wants him to gather the residue of my servants, a symbolic reference to Jeffrey's followers,
and with him, he used to cleanse the vineyard and tell it is saved.
The vineyard is symbolic for the Kirtland temple.
He says, so what he's saying here is that God wants you to take this fucking temple over
by force to do so.
He gets his followers to watch first blood.
The film that told the story of John Rambo, Vietnam veteran, right, took on an entire town's
police force single handedly, right?
Slice the loan.
Holy shit.
They're watching Rambo, not for entertainment value, for inspiration and actual planning.
We're journey.
It's over.
Not in his own.
Nothing.
You just don't turn it off.
It wasn't my war.
You asked me.
I didn't ask you.
And I do what I had to do to win.
But somebody wouldn't let us win. I picture Jeffrey Lung I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man.
I'm a man.
I'm a man.
I'm a man.
I'm a man.
I'm a man.
I'm a man.
I'm a man.
I'm a man.
I'm a man.
I'm a man.
I'm a man.
I'm a man.
I'm a man.
I'm a man.
I'm a man.
I'm a man.
I'm a man.
I'm a man.
I'm a man.
I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a it. We need to do it. Take that temple.
There's one in my war.
They let us know choice.
This follows.
Yeah.
No, yeah.
Jeffery's right.
God, he's better than Rambo.
Jeffrey now also regrees sites increasingly bloody passages from the book of Mormon.
Telling followers that God is not afraid to kill.
Just before Christmas, Jeffrey begins revealing specific details about how they're going to take
over the Kirtland temple.
As he does with almost everything now, Jeffrey ties the temple takeover to the return of
Jesus Christ.
He says the Christ can only return if there's no wickedness in or near the temple.
And that means every man, woman, and child who lives within a block of the temple, some
25 people roughly have to be fucking executed, including the many church leaders and RLDS members
he had worked with back at the temple. And also, Luffman, fucking deal, his wife, Judy, and their three kids, 13, 10, and 5,
they're gonna need to be bound and gagged, brought it at the temple where they will be taken
before Jeffrey.
And then after reading several scriptures, Jeffrey is going to offer the entire Luffman
family to God as a human sacrifice.
And then, behead all five of them. Beginning with
Luffman, moving down the line. Oh, yes. Oh, Jesus would love that. If there's one thing
I know about Jesus, he loves a beheading. Loves to just fucking cut kids heads off. Killer
Christ returns.
Jeffrey now also starts ordering his followers to stop reading their scriptural books. I'll be in the temple.
Jeffrey now also starts ordering his followers to stop reading their scriptural books.
Hmm.
Put your Bibles down.
Instead of following along with the scripture, just listen to me tell it.
That's the only way you're going to learn the will of God.
Through me, I have to be the one.
Through the words and wise, the wise and infallible words of Lord Jeffrey.
And Jeffrey being Jeffrey, he starts, you know, just kind of making them shit up. When Alice confronts him about this,
he shakes her hard and she relents backstown. Meanwhile, to prepare for the coming temple
war, nothing is over. You just don't turn it off. Jeffrey assigned everyone tasks. Richard
was told to get copies of city maps that showed where gas and other power lines were located.
Danny built a replica of the temple and the houses around it put numbers of the ones where
people were to be executed.
My God, they're actually on board with killing all the families who happened to live near
the temple.
They believe that their god wants them to do this.
They might as well worship some random serial killer since Dennis Patrick lived less than
one block from the police station.
He is told to watch it.
Record when the officers change their shifts. Sharon comp compiled the list of gas stations in the area. Jeffrey also gives
everybody nicknames. He calls himself Eagle one. His son Damon now 17 is Eagle two.
Surprise he just didn't call himself John Rambo. Danny is Eagle eye. Richard is talent one.
Dennis Patrick is talent two. Ron is Falcon one, Greg is Falcon
two, the family farmhouse has dubbed the Eagles nest. The red barn is red eagle, the temple
is Eagles mound, Alice is of course, Kidmark. Sorry. And I don't know, she didn't, there's
the list in February of 1988, Jeffrey reveals that he has found the secret prayer that he
was required to say in order to make the mountain of the Lord rice. So that's exciting. He said, God had hidden it in Isaiah chapter 57 verses 13 and 14.
Jeffrey said the key words were cast ye up, cast ye up.
A few days later, Jeffrey makes another exciting announcement.
Says God has given him a specific date for them to attack the temple.
Through looking at the temple door, just like Jeffrey said you might look at a doctor's office door for their posted hours
He discovered that the two large circles and the three small circles you could see meant obviously they had to attack on May 3rd
Now how to two large circles and three small circles out of two May 3rd?
Well, you have to be a prophet understand that. Sorry
If you don't get it's because you're not smart enough. I'm not either don't feel bad
We all just have to trust in Lord Jeffrey and know that it's correct. That's
how it works. Don't think you silly goose. Just believe. Maybe the third also quince, then
I'll leave course, Jeffrey's birthday. Another sign he said that he is God's chosen messenger.
God wouldn't have let his birthday line up exactly with all those circles behind the door.
If he wasn't God's messenger, seemed like Jeffrey was now having new revelations almost every day. One night, Jeffrey
announced that God wanted them to actually take over the temple on May 1st, then hold
police at bay until May 3rd, when Christ would appear.
Oh, thank you, Jeffrey. Blessed be Jeffrey. Where are the heads of the Luffman's Jeffrey?
Dale, Julie, the children. Bring them to me, bring them to daddy,
fly confused on their neck flesh.
Yes, and Killer Christ is hungry.
This is what Killer Christ wants.
This is salvation."
Now the next day, Jeffrey showed the group six gas masks that he had brought to use of
the police fired tear gas into the temple.
His most worrisome prediction was delivered next. Only 12 people are going to survive the takeover
because Jesus had 12 disciples. He said that himself, Skidmark and me now, they're
sundaming, they're guaranteed to survive. But only nine remaining adults are going to
make it. That means four, sorry, have to die. And now things get competitive. Everyone
is vying for a spot on the survival list.
Members start cornering Jeffrey, asking him if they are going to survive.
Like these fucking lunatics actually truly believed all this crazy mumbo jumbo.
Like they're legitimately nervous about this.
Although they didn't know it, anyone who would ask Jeffrey would be reassured that they were safe.
And they would be told, you know, the name of someone else who was going to die.
Sometimes he might be Kevin, because he's unclean somehow.
Another time Jeffrey said he's gonna kill
Dennis and Tonya Patrick,
so the police he's serious.
Basically, he'll tell Kevin that he's fine,
and the Patrick's gonna die,
then turn around and tell the Patrick's that they're fine,
and Kevin is gonna die.
I mean, people are talking.
Kevin will soon realize that they're being played.
How did they not all realize that?
The illusion for him finally starts crumbling,
and he starts noticing that Jeffrey is feeding off the energy of all the new members.
You know, they're constructing this elaborate fantasy together. It's all craziness.
February 16th, 1998 the group has a chocolate sheet cake for dessert after dinner.
Kristen Lungren, nine years old, asked who's birthday it is. And Jeffrey said that it was Kevin's going away cake.
Everyone assumed the Jeffrey was kidding.
You know, Kevin sometimes left, came back.
Kevin thought the message was clear
that Jeffrey was going to kill him.
So the next morning he leaves for work as usual,
but when he gets there,
turns in his resignation,
hurries to the bus station.
This might be the best decision of Kevin's life.
He has a friend called Jeffrey,
tell him where the group's car is.
When Jeffrey finds out,
he tells Alice and Shar that he's going to kill Kevin.
Now vengeful Jeffrey telephones Kevin's mother, but Kevin has already warned her not to tell
Jeffrey where he's hiding.
He is also telephone the veteran's administration hospital where Kevin has worked in Cleveland
and the one in Buffalo too, but Kevin is not left to forward in the dress.
In fact, he will spend the next several months hiding out in Buffalo.
Yeah, he didn't take any of his belongings with him, only $5 in his pocket.
He was that terrified.
Finally, he decides to tell the Federal Bureau of Investigation about the temple takeover
plan.
He looks up to address on a telephone book, has a friend drop him off.
But the FBI agents do not believe him.
Right?
This true story is too fucking crazy.
And you know what?
Honestly, I wouldn't believe me either.
After listening to Kevin's story, the agent dismissively said that the takeover sounded
like a problem for local authorities. He then asked permission to take Kevin's
photograph, probably filed it under many acts to keep an eye on. Uh, Kevin doesn't give
up. He's convinced that Jeffrey's going to kill somebody, right? He now he thinks about
contacting the Kirtland Police Department and good on Kevin. By the beginning of April,
all all of them we can talk about at the farm is the upcoming temple
takeover.
Nothing is over.
You just don't turn off.
I picture them all dressed up like rambore now.
They speculate about what kind of food they're going to need, who's going to take care of
the kids, how fast it's going to take for camera crews to show up and document this.
The group also gets a new member, Jeffery's cousin, Debbie, uh, Oliveras.
Debbie had been in an RLDS marriage for 18 years before she divorced her husband in November of
1976. By the fall of 87, she's heavily in debt dealing with suicidal ideation. She thinks joining Jeffrey's
Commun might cheer her up. Jeffrey now tells Debbie that Greg Winship is her true companion. He read it in between the lines.
April 22nd, Jeffrey goes over the final details of their takeover. Everyone's gonna arrive at the farmhouse on May 1st.
The men are gonna dress up in full camouflage military outfits, faces painted black.
They're gonna hike to the apple orchard behind the farm and follow a right of way on
buying electric power company to the back of the RLDS church property.
Like no one's gonna see that and be like, what the fuck are those weirdos doing and call the police?
They're then gonna split up into two groups.
Ron, Dennis and Greg are gonna break into the temple.
Meanwhile, Danny, Richard and Damon, Jeffrey, they're gonna go from house to house killing
occupants.
Uh-huh.
Then after doing that for a while, you know, within a block radius, then they're just gonna
capture the leftman family, bring them to the temple, where the women and children will
be waiting with the other men.
Then Jeffrey will be head to the leftman with a machete.
Hell yeah!
Cut those innocent kids fucking heads off. Do it for God.
Jeffrey would then say his secret prayer, and on May 3rd the mountain of the Lord will
literally rise up. Jesus will appear to bless the 12 survivors of all this completely
unnecessary preposterous carnage. The Patrick's will leave the house early that night.
Afterwards Jeffrey confides one last part of the plan to the remaining followers.
Ron Susie, Greg Debbie, Richard Sharon, Danny Damon, Sharon Alice.
He's going to kill this Patrick once every one of the temple is in the temple and Alice
is going to kill Tanya with a nine millimeter pistol.
Okay.
April 28, 1988.
Kevin Curie contacts the Kirtland police department.
Go Kevin, go. Hey, well, Kevin.
Police chief Dennis Yarborough immediately recognizes the name Kevin. Uh, uh, uh, or
sorry, the name that Kevin gives him to check out Jeffrey Lunggren. He'd heard all about
Jeffries ongoing feud with Dale Luffman. And what's more, Jeffrey had come to the chief
offices, uh, chief's office himself in 1984, fully complaints about people looking
in his windows.
Few months later, a Yarborough had spotted Jeffrey driving in 1952 green Chevrolet, ran a check on the license plate, discovered it belonged to Danny Kraft, Jr. Curious.
Yarborough asked a few questions, discovered that Jeffrey had attracted, quote, several young
followers. Yarborough believed that Jeffrey was capable of something like what Kevin was talking
about. So he decides to telephone the FBI office in Payne'sville.
The agent there says he can't help unless they have some kind of concrete evidence.
Yarrbo decides to ask his officers what they know about Jeffrey.
Ron Andalusk, or Ron Andalsec, 35-year-old Petrolman says he had buttered heads with Jeffrey
just a few days before.
A neighbor had complained because Geese from Jeffrey's farm were running loose,
and Andalsec had told Jeffrey to keep theese penned. When Andalcick told the neighbor
that the geese were being rounded up, she told him that Jeffery's followers were weird,
mentioning that Caleb Lunggren, Jeffery's son, told her daughter on May 3rd that the earth
was going to open up and all of the devils and demons were going to come up. Now, Yarbo and his
followers felt certain. Caleb had heard his father talking about the temple takeover
Yarbo brief Kirtland mayor Mario Marka Poli asked for permission to pay his officers
Over time so that he can stake out the Lungren farmhouse. They got permission started their sweep
Couldn't see anything going on inside the farmhouse, but Yarbo kept investigating and hail police chief Dennis Yarbo. He'll never run
Here in the next three days Yarbo quietly talks talks with church officials, learns that Jeffrey had been fired
for stealing church funds, is told Jeffrey despises Dale
Luffman, with time running out before the predicted May
first date, Yarbrough decides to confront Jeffrey directly.
Paisam of his, it says that they had gotten some complaints
about paramilitary groups training around the compute,
excuse me, commune.
He acted as though it was somebody else, not Jeffrey's group. He acted as though it was, you know, somebody else,
not Jeffries group.
And Yarbrough asked Jeffries, you know,
if he'd keep an eye out for them,
Jeffries agreed.
And Yarbrough noticed that he looked very nervous.
His eyes would jump it around like crazy while they talked.
On the night of May 1st, now Yarbrough and three of his men
stake out the temple and the church.
And then this guy decided that that's what we're going to
leave off for this week.
Actually, Sophie picked this spot, and I agree.
I know Cliff hangers suck, right?
But it's the best spot to end this week's episode.
Good job, soldier. You've made it back.
Barely.
So, no recap or takeaways for this week, because, you know, we're not done with this
story.
Another is over.
Next week it gets weirder, darker.
Next week involves a, uh, uh, a failed Doomsday prediction of sorts.
Human sacrifice, Jeffrey taking another wife, more devious sexual shit, uh, an FBI raid,
and so much more crazy cult, cult, cult, shenanigans.
Right now some credits, some time sucker updates,
which include me clarifying and opinion
of Tostyle last week.
First, the credits, thanks to the Bad Magic team
for helping production,
Queen of Bad Magic, Lindsey Cummins,
thanks to Logan Keith for direct,
or I'm sorry, to Tyler C, the suck ranger
for directing and producing today.
Thanks to Bitelixer for upkeep on the time suck app the art warlock
Creating the merch of badmagicmerz.com and helping run our socials. Thanks to Sophie Evans for the initial research
Hot damn she found a subject. I have loved adding further research to and immersing myself in
Thanks to the all-seeing eyes moderating the coldly curious private Facebook page the mod squad for making sure discord keeps running smooth and
Everyone over on the time cell can bad magic
reddit threats.
And before we get into some listener updates,
yeah, just some clarification.
Last week I said that I liked that there are girl scouts
and then boy scouts, I don't like it when girls
join the boys' scouts, boys join the girls' scouts.
I have no idea how anyone will react to this
as I record this episode, that episode has not even been
released yet, but after recording it, you know what, Tyler brought up how it will react to this as I record this episode that episode has not even been released yet. But I have to record in it, you know, Tyler brought up how it might get to me.
Meals Lindsey agreed. So I just felt like I should clarify. I still mean what I said,
but I want to clarify why I said it. And all these matters, I really do try and assert, you know,
what I believe is the right thing. Not that I'm always right, of course. In this sense, you know,
like I just want to do what is what is the most fair thing
for the most amount of people and I'm talking about stuff like this. And for this one, I was in
Boyce Gouts when we briefly had it in Riggins and I was in fifth, sixth grades, maybe seventh grade as
well. And I loved it. I loved it. It was just boys because there was none of the heterosexual,
young teen tension that existed at school. No one was trying to look cool in front of you know,
this girl or that girl, no one was trying to look cool in front of you know,
this girl or that girl,
no one was getting butt hurt because Kim Dowdy
seemed to flirt with someone else instead of them.
No one was trying to convince anyone to try and talk
to Sarah Foster or whatever, how to go.
We just got to be goofy, cut loose with each other.
It was beautiful, so much innocent fun.
Adding a girl would have absolutely changed that
dramatically.
No sword fights with our pee streams in the woods.
No tees in each other the same way.
Talking about it further with Lindsey,
she admitted that she likes some women's only groups
like the Jim Curves.
For a while it was the only women in every location.
That seems to have changed in some areas,
but whatever, when would a bummer?
Because Lindsey talked about how some women
just wanna work out in a place
where they don't have to worry about being hit on, being leared at by horny dudes, trying to memorize
the shape of their labia, through their yoga pants, or whatever.
And I think that is fair.
You know, or what about a women's only sexual trauma group?
Or some women going to feel more safe, more comfortable talking about being sexually assaulted
in front of only women as opposed to around some men?
Yeah, would imagine so.
I always think like what makes the most sense feels the most fair, serves the most people.
Unfortunately, too many people historically segregate in ways that I do not agree with
in ways based on being bigoted assholes.
But sometimes some form of this group is not for everyone does make sense to me, right?
Life would just be so much easier if more people could just for lack of a better phrase, be fucking cool and do things for the right moral reasons.
Men and women could maybe even share the same locker rooms. If it weren't for some dudes
trying to rape women or stare gratuitously at their asses or tits while rocking boners,
if we were all just rational robots program to all understand the same code of ethics,
shit would be so much easier. But obviously we're a long way from that.
And I can keep talking about this in circles forever.
Attempting to further clarify my nuanced stance.
Easy to just say never be exclusionary.
But I just don't think that that attitude
fits every single situation.
Okay, that's about all the clarification I can give.
Now let's head on over to this week's Time Sucker updates.
Starting off with a beautiful message of awakening from solid sack Joe Stewart who writes,
ah you miserable mishmouth son of a bitch, List into the three mile island episode and you could have a movie trailer.
I have no idea what in the fucking hell
you were trying to call it.
My ears heard grand monsters.
And I envision elderly folk eating
alphabet generation hipsters
while they vape outside of coffee bars or some shit.
I was instantly drawn to such cinematic excellence.
Obviously I heard it wrong
and it was called something else.
Very disappointed. And that to all that to say thank you. In the last decade, I've been the wingnut
that believed one political party was sent from God and the other was the devil. Since I began
listening to you and hearing how your views have changed over time, I came to realize how ridiculous
my views were. I have a very diverse family. Indian European with the gay son and an adopted Black
White daughter, along with two more
daughters, one that's the top real estate capitalist at 26, another that's a staunch Christian
evangelist.
The baby of the five is our youngest son who turned me on to time suck suffice it to say
our family gatherings are exciting.
LOL.
I'm thankful for you and your challenging ideas to my echo chamber ideals and I'm thankful
for my straight gay black white Indian
Anglo Republican Democrat independent wacky as fuck all American family three out of five
stars wouldn't change a thing Joe and Kansas Joe what a beautiful message. I mean, you know,
I currently think that both major parties might be on the devil's team. We gotta keep an eye on
about maybe a strong new third party will finally rise in the coming decade or something.
The party of common sense and don't be a dick. I don't know.
Anyway, good for you. Love in your awesome, diverse Americanist
fuck family, right? Mix up those creeds and colors. Make something new. I love it.
Hail Nimra. And next up, colt will lose the phenocypocryst rhae.
Has some respect and love he wants to share writing to our great suckmaster.
I've been a massive fan since early specials, praise soft stroke.
I gotta relive that story.
And here comes the Spoon's motherfucker.
After listing the night, which is episode, which was so inspiring and hearing your thoughts
and the lack of recognition of women during the war would get by their governments and
other other soldiers, co-soldiers, I can't help but think of the comparison I see in the
industry that I work in.
I work in coal mining in Australia, where I work with many, many women.
As a heavy machinery operator, I see fantastic and terrible operators of both sexes.
I and other friends that I work with hold no sexist judges on who we work with only on
their ability as an operator.
I've seen some women.
They can run rings around some of their male co-workers, frustrates me to no end to listen
to some male co-workers that simply believe that women can't and shouldn't have a place and what they see as what should be a male only workplace.
I've been lucky enough to meet the woman that I will spend the rest of my life with while working in the industry.
Not only is she the most amazing woman that I've ever met, she's also one of the best operators I've ever seen.
Her efforts have been recognized and she's climbing up the ranks fast.
Praise Lucifena. I've ever seen her efforts have been recognized and she's climbing up the ranks fast praise Luciferina
If you get the chance to read this and please shout out to my queen Amanda the most beautiful mother and partner I can wish for and the most kick-arrest dump truck D11 dozer operator that I've ever seen and soon to be digger operator
That's awesome. Please keep on sucking damn praise. Bulljangles. Hail Luciferina. Hail them right forever
loyal member of the cult of the curious Chris
Well nice message, Chris.
Good on you for reminding everyone again
that the world has changed.
We don't only keep thinking about men's work
versus women's work, we can shift that paradigm around,
get a little more fluid, a little more flexible,
more of a meritocracy with careers,
which is the best way like who should get the job,
the person most qualified for the job, period, right?
Hell never out of Lucifina.
See, I don't always like the men and women,
it's just situational, to be separate.
Now up, Luke, Love and Sac, Jordan Peters
has some knowledge to drop writing.
Dear General Suck Master's Supreme,
Italian language expert at large,
I know I defy the urge to say stupid shit
when I heard one person's Italian's name this week
I wanted to write you regarding the suck on through my island. I love the episode found it to be like most of your content educational thought provoking
One thing that came to mind as I listened was the frustrating story of Vermont Yankee
I didn't know that about the story before you shared it
Enter G's Vermont Yankee nuclear power plant came online in the 70s, and for many decades was the largest energy producer in Vermont, and at one point provided nearly half
of the electricity consumed in the whole state.
But from its inception, Vermont Yankee and its operations, like many other nuclear facilities,
was plagued by protests from anti-nuclear activists until its closing in 2014.
Growing up in the 90s in Vermont, I never knew much about the facility, as it was about
two hours away from where I lived, and my parents seem to subscribe to an ignorance's bliss approach
to many issues at the time, which in retrospect, may have had a controlling stake in the eventual
demise of their marriage. It wasn't until I got out of college and started working in the forest
resector that I learned about the facility and how contentious its operations were. I'll do a
lot of work in the town of Vermont, or I'm screwed, excuse me, in the town of Vernon, where the facility is located during the summer
of 2013. During that time, I noticed a stark difference in that town versus the majority
of other small towns in Vermont. It's pristine condition. Hard pressed, you would be to
find a road not black with freshly laid asphalt, a public building older than 30 years, a tax
rate that was as low as Vernon's. The police, all drove brand new cruisers, had the latest equipment.
The schools were all adequately funded and you got a sense just driving through town,
how much that plant meant to the health of the area.
I spoke to the town clerk one day and remarked how beautiful, well maintained the town was.
Missing Neriya Beach, she got it from her chair, walked over to the window and pointed
to the shores of the Connecticut, where Vermont Yankee lay.
She went on to say that the facility paid so much in taxes that not only
were the residents unburdened by the same hybrid tax rates as other towns, but there were also
many lucrative jobs that were otherwise very hard to find in the area. And speaking with some
of the residents in town, I never heard anything but positive remarks about the plan. And these were
the people that lived within spitting distance of it. Surely, if there was legitimate concern to be had over the safety of these facilities,
these people would have been the first to vocalize it. Instead, there was nothing
to gratitude that the facility was in their town. Fast forward to 2017, I return to Vernon as part
of a work project driving to what might have been well a different world. Shuddered since 2014,
the closure of Vermont Yankee three years prior,
brought with it a substantial job loss
and vastly increased tax burden to its residents,
who once relied on the facilities operation.
I spoke with a gentleman that had built a family
and a livelihood in Vernon since moving there
in the mid 70s, and he was concerned
that he would have to move away
because of the increased cost
that the residents would now have to bear
in the absence of the power plant. It was very sad to see such a change in such a short amount of time,
but it really drove home the point what a loss it was for the surrounding communities.
This is something I wonder if the protesters in Burlington considered.
When they took part in Haroldine in Vermont Yankees closure, I truly understand the concern over nuclear power.
If it goes wrong, it could easily go very very very wrong.
But like you mentioned in your episode, we're not consuming less energy.
They're not making any more oil.
Solar hasn't become the night in shining army, armor energy source that it was touted to
be.
If we truly want green energy in an energy independent future, which I think we need
to strive for, I don't see a better source of nuclear power.
If we invest in the upkeep and safety of these facilities, as well as the training needed
to competently operate, competently operate one, the level seven Chernobyl grade nuclear accidents
could be forever consigned to the history books. My hope for the future is that we overcome our
collective anxieties about nuclear power and realize that it might be our only escape from the
shackles of energy dependence that we currently find ourselves locked in. It might take a little
money to do so, but to have ample, clean, dependable,
cost-effective energy might be a savior
in an increasingly unstable, environmental,
political, and economic climate.
I know this was long,
but if you made it this far without drooling on yourself,
and even if you did drooling yourself,
I thank you for your time and the work you do,
you and your team of succulent,
glistening father-datties put together
an amazing show,
and I hope to see you live in the future.
Love and Respect, Jordan and Vermont. Well, thank you Jordan and Vermont for a lovely message.
You shared so many great thoughts and no, I doubt those protesters did think of the people in
Vernon and there should be no environmental concern long term over nuclear power plants.
If there are some major disasters, the planet overall is gonna be fine. We might not be fine as a species
But earth should repair itself a lot of us dying in a nuclear disaster might be the best thing that's ever happened to mother earth
Right looking at pictures of the forest around Chernobyl men mother earth is thriving over there
Another benefit of nuclear power if Europe currently had enough nuclear power plants
It wouldn't need any of Russia's gas for energy consumption.
I mean, how great would that be, not to need that shit from Putin?
How far could that go towards standing up to him?
And for us, how great to never have to worry about being dependent on any foreign nation
for energy needs if we had plenty of nuclear power.
And finally, something silly that Jody butter eagle, uh, Stan in, she got Cummins lot, hard.
She writes, I don't know where to start
to send this actually, but I just got Cummins lot horribly.
I usually work third shift hours,
so I'm normally up at night.
Typically I go to the laundromat near my house
between one and three a.m.
Another reason I'm going at this time is,
I'm almost always alone.
I can play STD, or yeah, yeah, scared of death,
or time suck, and my Bluetooth speaker is loud as I want and get some shit done. Well during episode
327 on Joseph Mengele, you go on this awesome and hilarious rant about how we love Joseph
Mengele so much that we want him to use his massive Aryan cock with large blue veins
and blonde Aryan pubic hair to impregnate our very souls. It was during said rant to the
owner of the laundromat, quietly walked in and ended up standing only two to three feet for me, well
with a hearing distance. When I finally realized he's hearing all this, I tried to start
coughing, humming, making any fucking noise possible to distract him from when I know he's
already hurt. By the time I cut it off right after Dan says he hopes someone got commas
lod, dude looked at me like I just sacrificed an infant to Satan on his washing machine.
It was more to find and hilarious. I hate you and let me so much his washing machine. It was mortifying and hilarious.
I hate you and let me so much.
Jody.
Yes, Jody, yes.
Wow, that was a brutal one.
I'm going to begin to stink out from that guy for quite some time, which is probably for
the best, probably better than the alternative in that situation.
Like how uncomfortable would it be if he liked it?
Like if he heard that out of context and he was like, ooh,
starts flirting with you,
saying stuff like, oh, I like you.
Oh, you get it.
Finally, someone really gets it.
That's all for today.
Everybody, thanks for sending in your messages.
Thanks, time suckers.
I need a net.
We all did.
Thanks for listening to another Bad Magic Productions podcast.
I cannot wait to complete this story next week.
Please do not, without at least politely asking for mission,
you know, without, you know, oppression, anybody.
Take a shit on someone's tits on the bathtub this week.
They just got clean.
Can't you still come if you or someone with you,
just keeps on sucking?
Hey, baby. Uh, yeah, what are you doing right now? Are you home? Okay, good, good, good. I, uh, I don't know, I just feel kind of inspired. I know we wanted to kind of shake things up. Go to the bathroom.
I want you to take all your clothes off. And I want to shoot on your tits and call you Skidmark.
Hello? Hello?
And she says he's adventurous.
and she says he's adventurous.