Timesuck with Dan Cummins - 388 - How To Rid Yourself of Demons: A History of Exorcisms

Episode Date: February 19, 2024

Today I share the real practice and history of the classic Catholic exorcism that so many of us have seen in films like 1973's The Exorcist and 2023's The Pope's Exorcist. How does an exorcism actually work? Who qualifies? What is the official ritual? What is the history of exorcisms? All this and more - including an exploration of the real life exorcism that inspired the 1973 movie -  in this demon-infested episode.  The power of Christ compels you!  (to listen to this week's episode) Watch the Suck on YouTube: https://youtu.be/KcRC0dcafDYMerch and more: www.badmagicproductions.com ÅTimesuck Discord! https://discord.gg/tqzH89vWant to join the Cult of the Curious Private Facebook Group? Go directly to Facebook and search for "Cult of the Curious" to locate whatever happens to be our most current page :)For all merch-related questions/problems: [e-mail] (copy and paste)Please rate and subscribe on Apple Podcasts and elsewhere and follow the suck on social media!! @timesuckpodcast on IG and http://www.facebook.com/timesuckpodcastWanna become a Space Lizard? Click here: https://www.patreon.com/timesuckpodcast.Sign up through Patreon, and for $5 a month, you get access to the entire Secret Suck catalog (295 episodes) PLUS the entire catalog of Timesuck, AD FREE. You'll also get 20% off of all regular Timesuck merch PLUS access to exclusive Space Lizard merch. And you get the download link for my secret standup album, Feel the Heat.

What do you think when you hear the power of Christ compels you? The power of Christ compels you? For me, and I think for many, those words conjure up images of projectile vomit, furniture levitating, heads spinning around and around on shoulders, people with blood spilling out of their mouths, speaking in tongues, dark demon-like eyes, children saying the word fuck a lot, low, gravelly voices, and a bunch of other creepy, unsettling, spooky shit. I think of the ultra-violent exorcism that Hollywood delights in making movie after oftentimes terrible movie about, but sometimes they kill it. Watch the 2023 horror flick,

the Pope's Exorcist, to get in the right headspace for this episode after Molly Box's recommendation, and it was great. Anyway, I think of Hollywood when I hear those exorcism words, right? Horror movies. Some great, many not so great. Nearly all of them claiming to be based on a true story. I've actually gotten so used to hearing based on a true story and then seeing a bunch of crazy over-the-top CGI nightmare scenes. Sometimes I forget that they actually are based on a true story, that there's some truth behind many of these stories. At least, you know, people are claiming it's true. And the truth for these people is that exorcisms are real. Not saying with scientific certainty that the demons supposedly possessing those being exercised are real, but the ritual at least

is for sure real. Exorcism, for sure, they do exist. Outside of movie sets and are an integral part of the faith for many Catholics and other members of Abrahamic religions. In fact, did you know that it is required for Catholic children to undergo an exorcism prior to getting baptized? Now, granted, it doesn't look at all like the ones we see on TV, but it's a form of a minor exorcism, technically just the same. The rights for the baptism of children in the Catholic Church include prayers that designate

minor exorcisms, prayers that can be used during or before the baptism ceremony. So that's what they're saying in Latin, right? To hell with the devil! What we see on TV and in film is a representation of what is known as a major exorcism, which is only ever used in cases of proven demonic possession and can only be performed by an ordained exorcist. Now is proven being proven in a laboratory setting? No, but damn it, if there isn't a lot of spooky as hell stories out there that sure make it seem real. I'll be sharing a classic amongst those stories today. Let's push past the Hollywood glamour and prosthetics and fake blood and Russell Crowe

and a priest's vestment to see what a real Catholic exorcism looks like. In today's demonology, ethics of theology, get out of here devil! You're listening to Time Suck. Happy Monday, MeadSucks. Welcome to the Cult of the Curious. I'm Dan Cummins, the suckmaster guy who needs to get some new glasses to keep my eyes from being too evil. Guy who keeps trying to get Greg to wake up. Stop sleeping through other people's nightmares, Greg. And you are listening to Time Suck. Hail Nimrod, hail Lucifina, praise be to good boy Bojangles,

and glory be to Triple N. Protect us from these demons. A couple quick things, and then today's show. For this month's charity announcement, as you know by now, I love New Orleans. It's a place that has touched Lindsay and my souls. About to take my grandma there, grab a Betty, and a place that we love to spend time in when we can. One of our favorite places there is Preservation Hall, small, intimate musical experience like nothing else in the world. Through their foundation,

they aim to protect, preserve, and perpetuate New Orleans music and culture through musical education. Supporting them, supporting musicians, supporting history and traditions are all things that matter to us here. Also Tyler C. loved this place, so for the month of February in honor of Tyler moving on from bad magic, we're going to be donating to the Preservation Hall Foundation. Checks a lot of boxes for us. Donate in $12,930 to Preservation Hall and put in $1,430 into the scholarship fund. Thank you so much to our Patreon Space lizards for making that donation possible and now for this week's merch announcement

And then it is storytime got a giant new collection in the store So many cool new designs to choose from adding to the ever-growing yearbook collection Which already includes time sucks tables such as Albert fish at Kemper We now have Jody Provo float areas Ronald d, Ronald Dandelion Puff, Dominique, Jeffrey Skidmark Lundgren, Alex, it's Alec Murdoch, Dennis, use me already, Nielsen, Rose loves a bad boy West and Fred, bad boy West. We got the Gigadantee for our bigger risted listeners, out there fucking wrist-moggin' moggin' people. We got the Sweet Riverside Chili Cook cook-off tea for those who know. We have a dead giveaway dead giveaway dead giveaway And how about the 2024 Twin Flames love soul retreat official ceremonial attire also a Colonel Danders

Some stuff a time suck whiskey glass a design that absolutely has nothing to do with Pat Sajak Subtle office polos and more so much stuff aticProductions.com where you can find our store now. Take a browse through the cool designs, also launched a bunch of scared to death merch for Creeps and Peepers as well. And speaking of scared to death, if today's subject matter really interests you and you haven't checked it out, please do check out scared to death. Now there are new nightmare fuel episodes, dropped into the scared to death feed, fictional horror written and presented by me, fully scored as well to add maximum chills

Gonna want to put the headphones on when you listen to those if possible. That's it now Let's talk about the devil the power of Christ compels you to listen to all of today's episode episode. To begin our adventure into the pits of hell and the glories of heaven, we're first going to lay out the groundwork for what an exorcism actually is according to today's Catholic church. And hopefully demystify something that for so many of us exists only in A24 and Blumhouse films. Love those production companies, by the way. We will cover how the church defines exorcisms and the different types, who's allowed to perform them, and how they get authorized to do so, as well as how the church determines whether or not someone is actually in need of an exorcism. After that, we're going to go through the step-by-step process of how an exorcism in the modern-day church is performed. We'll examine everything from the script the exorcist recites during the ritual, to who is permitted to be in the room with him, and to possess while it happens, to what the Church says the possessed, i.e. the devil, is likely to do and say during an exorcism,

then will travel down a treacherous time-sucked timeline to investigate how the Catholic exorcism became what it is today, along our route between the worlds of good and evil. We'll also encounter, in addition to more than a few nefarious demonic entities, a parallel evolution happening as the Catholic exorcism developed over time, so did the non-Christian public's perceptions of it. During the timeline, specifically the closer we get to the 21st century, we'll unearth more than a few instances where things in the secular world like pop culture have impacted the perception of an exorcism.

We'll start our journey in the first millennium BC with Mesopotamians and their tactics for expelling evil spirits. After that, we'll proceed through each major event that impacted the evolution of the exorcism, including the birth of Christ, approximately 2,000 years ago, as well as that fateful day in 1973, when the supernatural horror classic, the iconic movie now, The Exorcist, hit theaters, became a cultural phenomena. Because today we're only focused on the historical and practical aspects of exorcisms. We're only going to cover one of many documented cases of demonic possession. But don't worry, we'll spend a lot of time with it.

Almost like a mini-scared to death episode snuck in here. The particular case we'll talk about is that of Robbie Mannheim, or Roland Doe, whose violent possession at the age of 14 inspired the book, The Exorcist, that led to the movie of the same name. Finally, we'll end the timeline in the year of our Lord, 2024, where demand for exorcisms have reportedly increased tenfold. Quick heads up for the listener until we get to the timeline. When describing Satan, God, demons, angels, possession, and exorcism, I'm going to do my

best to avoid using words like supposedly, or theoretically, or presumably. I'm doing this partly because hearing according to the Catholic Church and Catholics believe that, you know, before nearly everything I say about how these entities and rituals work, that'll get pretty old pretty quick. Also doing this in order to convey the information from the perspective of the Catholic Church itself instead of as an outsider looking in. And I will, other than when we're talking about pre-Christian history, be focusing pretty much exclusively on Catholic exorcism. Other branches of Christianity, other branches of Abrahamic religions also do carry out exorcisms, but I'm not gonna get into all that. The classic exorcism is the Catholic exorcism.

No church has performed more exorcisms or been performing exorcisms longer than the Pope and his collared homeboys. With all that out of the way, let's get started. Well, you know, actually I'm hesitating because, technically, I believe there were some Judaic exorcisms before, but again, it's not the totality. It's aligned with the Catholic Church. So for you guys who really know your exorcism history, I think there were some Jewish exorcisms before the Catholic Church got.

Actually, there definitely were. You know, Jesus performed exorcisms before the Catholic Church was a thing. I know, I know. But the Catholic Church has the most robust history. So what is a Catholic exorcism? Well, the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops simply says that exorcism is a specific form of prayer that the Church uses against the power of the devil. In the Church, there are two types of exorcism, major and minor.

I did not know that before this week. I was only familiar with major exorcisms. I just thought that was just what an exorcism was. I didn't know there was a minor and major. It was kind of embarrassing to admit for somebody who has co-hosted a paranormal podcast that features a lot of demonic possession stories for about five years now. Major exorcisms are the dramatic ones, right? The scary ones, the ones movies get made about

They're reserved only for the most severe cases of proven demonic possession and can only be performed by a trained priest with the blessing of his local bishop In an exorcist tells his story by the notorious former exorcist of Rome the Pope's exorcist Aka the guy Russell Crow. Are you not entertained? Portrays in the movie The Pope's Exorcist. Father Gabriele Amorth defines demonic possession as follows in his book published in 1999, in Exorcist Tells His Story. Demonic possession occurs when Satan takes full possession of the body, not the soul. He speaks and acts without the knowledge or consent of the victim, who therefore is morally blameless. It is the gravest and most spectacular form of demonic afflictions. In addition to demonic possession, there are four other types of what Father Amorth calls demonic afflictions, also known as extraordinary satanic activity that only require a minor

exorcism, which can be like a quick, you know, prayer. In addition to possession, which is the only one that requires major exorcism, the four other types of extraordinary satanic activity are demonic oppression, demonic obsession, demonic infestation, and the least known demonic patty cake. Demonic patty cake is when you hear a demon nearby and this demon will not stop singing. Patty cake, patty cake, bakers man, bake me a cake as fast as you can. Pad it, prick it and mark it with a B,

put it in the oven for baby and me. But the demon does it in like a scary voice. Patty cake, patty cake, bakers man, bake me a cake as fast as you can. Pad it, prick it pick it market with a bee Put it in the oven for baby and me and the only way to get the demon to stop is to firmly Ask it to stop a three times. Oh patty cake patty cake but stop doing that Patty cake pets. I said stop it. Patty cake but stop it. That's enough

All right fine. Now you suck and shit and then they're done and it's over. I know the fourth one is demonic subjugation quick note I Know that was ridiculous even more even more than usual for me a quick side note in addition to extraordinary activity There is also what is known as ordinary satanic activity. That is temptation Where extraordinary activities rare even the milder types that don't require major exorcisms The devil's temptation is said to be all around us all the time. Okay, like I said, the first type of extraordinary satanic activity that only requires a minor exorcism is called demonic oppression. In cases of demonic oppression, the evil entity has not yet infiltrated the victim's body

or gained control of their actions, but it is present in their life. The victim still has their autonomy, so they don't say or do anything involuntary or unconscious, but things like their comfort, health, mental state of finances, employment, relationships, all impacted by the unholy thing that has attached itself to them. The second form of minor activity is called demonic obsession, unlike possession. Again, in these cases, the victim still has total free will. The demon assaults the person instead by harassing them with reoccurring and constant evil images that it puts into their mind.

That sounds absolutely terrible. Like having nightmares when you're awake. Maybe Carl Watts from last week will coral theal, the Sunday morning slasher, had a case of demonic obsession. Obsession is complicated because it often appears to be a prelude to possession, but it can also be difficult to detect because of its similarities to mental illness to help avoid confusion instead of demonic obsession. Some exorcists refer to it as psychic demonic vexations or interior demonic vexations or personal demonic infestations. In an essay titled The Extraordinary Ways to Devil Attacks, a head exorcist in an Italian

diocese, Father Paolo Carlin wrote that, obsessions can take on diverse forms, levels and intensities, and finally completely dominate the mind of the person. Given their similarity to psychiatric illnesses, the detection of diabolical obsessions is not always easy. The third form of demonic activity is called demonic infestation. Unlike the previous three. In these cases, the demon does not attach itself to a person but to a place. Demonic infestation can be identified by unexplainable sounds, odors,

lights, shadows, and temperatures. In that same essay, Father Paolo writes that other manifestations one might experience during a demonic infestation are noises or blows on the roof, pavement walls, doors, windows, or furniture, showers of hailstones that fall as from nowhere on the roof or even in the house. Noises of invisible steps, fireworks or explosives, the clanging of chains and irons, mysterious voices, cries, laughs or uproars, invisible bells that clamor, the disappearance of objects that are never found again or are found in the most unusual places in the house,

pictures that are detached from the walls and fall without a comprehensible reason, underwear, sheets, blankets and chairs that levitate in the air. Animals such as ravens, bats, reptiles, owls, dogs or cats that suddenly appear and soon vanish. Sudden, intense and untraceable burnt odors of excrement. Sulphur, rotting flesh or incest and so forth. Just about every second episode of Scared to Death, that podcast contains at least one example of a possible demonic infestation. The final form of a demonic

activity, which is not included on every list, but Father of North mentions it, so we'll mention it too, is not demonic patacake, but demonic subjugation or dependence, aka satanic worship. This type of demonic affliction is voluntary on the part of the human and is most commonly achieved by getting in a blood-packed with the devil or making an open and genuine declaration of allegiance and reverence to Satan. Demonic subjugation as well as demonic infestation, obsession and oppression do not require a major exorcism for the evil force can be expelled For the evil force to be expelled only requires a minor one Minor exorcisms are used to ward off and weaken evil spirits influence on a member of the faithful and actually occur

fairly regularly in the Catholic Church For example during a baptism priests perform multiple prayers of exorcism over both the child getting baptized and the salt that is placed in their mouth. To do so, the the priest will recite the words. This is the translation obviously not the original Latin. Do not fuck with this baby demons. God's vengeance will be swift if you shall. For everyone baby touched by a demon, God will literally fuck a thousand demons to death in hell. Not those words actually. He re-stites these words. I exercise thee, O creature salt, in the name of God the Father Almighty, and in the charity of our Lord Jesus Christ, and in the might of the Holy Ghost.

I exercise thee by the living God, the true God, the holy God, by the God who created thee for the protection of the human race. That's just one example. Of the many minor exorcisms woven into the daily fabric of the Catholic faith. Exorcism is just one small part of a wider theological battleground. Catholic faith teaches that the war between God and Satan is an ever-present one. And that we are all a part of it. The faithful and non-faithful alike.

In this war, demonic possession is just one of the many, many assault tactics used by the Prince of Darkness and his minions against the light of the Lord. And major and minor exorcisms are just two of the many, many defense systems the light has in place to protect its people from its mighty foe. Alright, getting back to the difference now, between major and minor exorcisms. Like I said earlier, while minor exorcisms helped to ward off evil or diluted influence over a person, major exorcisms are only authorized in cases of extreme evil, muy malvado, where demon has accomplished full possession of a person and has complete dominion over both

their soul and their physical body. Although both major and minor exorcisms are used to combat the devil, they face two very different threat levels. Is the bad guy coming at you with a small pocket knife? Or does he have a boomstick, a gauge, an army of darkness? Because of the varying threat level, exorcists approach the devil in two very different ways. Minor exorcisms are deprecatory, which means they are prayers, oftentimes short prayers directed at God, not the devil, asking him, as in God, to step in against the evil spirit, afflicting someone. Major exorcisms are imprecatory, which means they are prayers directed

point blank from the priest to the devil. Like if I was fighting the devil, I might be like, go on devil, you get, go on get out of here you rascal, get, go on, hey, hey, ah. And that would be some imprecatory shit, right? Imprecatory shit, there we go, imprecatory. I love these words, these technical words that like you never say in conversation unless you're like an exorcist.

Imprecatory, imprecatory, God, there we go. The St. Paul Center for Biblical Theology describes it like this. Major exorcism is imprecatory prayer, a direct command. It is critical to understand that imprecatory prayer directly commands a demon, which is a tacit acceptance to a personal battle with that demon, while deprecatory prayer asks God to act against the demon, which brings us to the last big difference between major and minor exorcisms. Who is allowed to perform them?

If a minor exorcism is being used for a specific sacrament, such as an official church ritual, then the only person permitted to perform the exorcism is the priest or deacon assigned to that specific ritual. To be clear, though, it is free country, and anyone can say whatever shit they want. The church might not like it. But if some demon is after me or somebody I care about, I'm gonna say all kinds of shit. I'm not gonna ask anyone for permission. Go on, damn it, get it!

The power of Christ compels you to, he-he-ya, hell on out of here! However, there are a few prayers of exorcism that Catholics are permitted to use in private for personal matters. Major exorcisms, on the other hand, far more exclusive, much, much more. Before we move on, another quick note. Going forward, whenever I say exorcism now, solely referring to a major exorcism, not a minor one. We're done with that minor bush league farm team bullshit, only major spooks from here on out. Okay, not just any old priest, can be an exorcist. Exorcist does need to be an older priest though, but just not any old priest. The approximately 25,000 Catholic priests in the US, only 62 of them,

currently are ordained to perform a major exorcism. However, that number used to be a lot smaller. In 1991, there was one, like one dude, one ordained exorcist in the entire US. By 2005, there were still only 12. God, who's that one guy? I picture some old dude just working overtime, fighting demons constantly, just rushing from one exorcism appointment to the next. Just so put upon.

He's so fucking over it, right? He's just so jaded, seen it all. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fuck me. Fuck God. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Damn, he's something new jaded seen it all. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Fuck me. Fuck God. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Damn myself to new already a hacky demon. I think I haven't heard all this shit a thousand times. Come on Mock me priest and the boy dies Go ahead. I've already saved four kids today, motherfucker one dies my batting average still excellent kill the boy dies, my batting average, still excellent. Kill the boy or get the hell out of here. If I miss golden girls again, I'm going to kill myself, find you in hell and spend eternity

tormenting you. 2012, there were only 250 exorcists priests in the entire world. 2012, slow year, bad year, down year for the devil. Say it was tired. He was exhausted in 2012, just straight up burnout from so many centuries of battling God. Or maybe on vacation, right? I don't know. It's got to be exhausting just trying to claim all of humanity's souls all the time. I mean, he must have paperwork stacked on his hell desk that just piles up almost all the way to heaven. By 2023, there were 905 exorcists in just 11 years, the number had already quadrupled. If you could buy shares of hell on the stock markets, share price soared going into 2023. So much extra evil going on that had to be battled. We don't have any stats for the new year, but assuming not much has changed probably from 2023 to 2024.

Currently of the 905 exorcists, 483 are in Italy, 48 in Mexico, 46 in Brazil. Like I said earlier, 62 in the US, just three in China, 48 in Mexico, 46 in Brazil. Like I said earlier, 62 in the US, just three in China, two in Taiwan, and all of the rest are scattered globally across 52 other countries. Man, so much evil in Italy right now. Why isn't there a travel advisory? Warning, if you are planning on traveling to Italy, please be aware that there is an advisory in place.

Demonic forces have taken over much of the country. The Vatican has deployed nearly 500 exorcists in an attempt to take back control of the nation, but several cities, such as Naples, Florence, and definitely Pisa, are currently controlled by the devil. If you still choose to travel to Italy, especially Pisa, please be on high alert for the sounds of scratching in the walls, disembodied voices, little girls with heads that spin all the way around, and various people usually but not always an attractive young woman scantily clad with long dark hair, crawling across a ceiling like a creepy nightmare spider. These are but a few indicators of demonic presence.

In the last two decades, both the number of exorcisms performed and the number of ordained exorcists in the US has grown exponentially, a trend which many Catholic sources attribute to arise in pagan and occult practices within our mainstream culture. Fuck. How much evil have like my Whipple ads alone just added to the depraved and morally decaying world? Ugh. Speaking of Whipple. Today's Time Suck is brought to you by Whipple! Demon Edition! Whipple Demon Edition is made out of 30% lesser demons, 40% major demons, and 50% the devil himself. Each 16 ounce can of Whipple Demon Edition is packed with torment, anguish, sinners being ripped apart, a little bit of that green puke from that girl from the Exorcist, a tiny bit

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So anyway, there are two ways. I haven't done that in a while. Two ways a priest can become an exorcist. He can either be appointed to the office in perpetuity and thus be an exorcist for as long as he is a priest. Sounds pretty badass. I got to say to have that as your exclusive job title, uh, or you can be granted the title for a single occasion. Interesting.

These substitute teacher equivalent. Not sure I'd feel great about getting that priest. You know, if my kid needed to be exercised, how many times have you done this before? Before, before, uh, no, never. No, this is my first exercise. These things are scary. Hopefully my last. Ugh.

Don't worry though. I watched a lot of movies and I can probably do it. The process of getting a major exercise improved is a long and arduous one. And in most cases, if the church or diocese, which is an ecclesiastical district under the jurisdiction of a bishop does not have an exorcist, which is very common.

There's still lots of time to call in an already established exorcist from a nearby diocese. The person who has the power to appoint both career exorcists, that's what the church calls them, or that's not what the church calls them, that's just what we're calling them. And one hit wonders is the diocesan bishop. And again, and I guess you'd be probably got and probably the Pope. If he wants to, you know, if the Pope was like Father Randall, I point to his ex-assist. I doubt some cartels could be like, shut the fuck up, Pope. It's not your job.

Stay on your lane, bro. What is the diocesan bishop? Well, he has one link and all these positions are he's no no women's bicycles allowed in the giant chain of priesthood command. At the bottom of the Catholic hierarchy are the faithful who are not part of the clergy just regular ass Catholics paying tithes you know repeating refrains probably barely ever being molested just pretending to hear that last part one up from them are the priests each priest presides over a single church,

which is a part of a wider territory of churches known, again, as a diocese. And the diocese as the whole operates under the pastoral control of the diocesan bishop. There is no hard and fast geographic rule for what constitutes a diocese, but you can think of them as about the size of small towns. Each diocese, part of a wider territory of diocese, and altogether they make up. Each diocese part of a wider territory of dioceses and altogether

they make up an archdiocese. Archdioceses presided over by, you guessed it, Archbishop. Archbishop's report to cardinals, some of whom live or at least hold office in the Vatican. Together they compose up the College of Cardinals and many of the cardinals report directly to the Pope and everyone reports to God but mostly the Pope does that. That's a heavily summarized version. It just gives us the gist. To dig in a lot further, we just kind of bog down the narrative too much. So only a diocesan bishop can appoint an exorcist, but it is not required for them to do so. In fact, many dioceses do not.

Belief in the devil as an entity that shows up like it does in movies like the Pope's Exorcist varies a lot amongst Catholics around the world. Belief is very strong in Italy, for example. Hence why they have so many Exorcists. 483 in a nation of 59 million people, where 60 to 75% of the nation is Catholic. So on the high end, roughly one exorcist for every 92,000 people. Belief less strong in the US, 62 exorcists in a nation of 332 million people, where between 18 and 23 percent of the population is Catholic. On the high end, roughly one exorcist for every 1.2 million people. Clearly, a lot of Catholic diocese either don't believe the devil is capable of possessing someone like we see in Hollywood productions here in the US or think instances of actual demonic possession are exceptionally rare.

According to a 1614 liturgical text called Latin, it's gonna be tricky, de exoraisandes obsesis ademno, demonio, very hard for me to properly pronounce anything. I'll try my best to say. Latin translates to on exercising the possessed by the demon. The first time the Catholic Church published how to perform their official rights of exorcism, there are a few non-negotiable qualities a priest must have in order to be appointed to the office of exorcist. The priest must be an older, experienced member of the clergy, exact age not given, of outstanding

repute and humble attitude, especially wise, prudent, and must be well-read in what the Bible and Church have to say about the exorcism process, as well as be familiar with all major cases of demonic possession that the Church has faced both in recent years and in the past. The exorcist must be equipped to carry his work out with charity, humility, and confidence. Most importantly, the priest must have a set of giant stone balls and be prepared to face the devil in battle head on. In addition to these qualities, an exorcist, hopeful must in most cases also have prior

experience with assisting in an exorcism. For a great many reasons, we'll soon get into exorcisms are almost never performed by one priest and one priest alone. An exorcist is usually accompanied by one or two other priests who are not ordained to exorcists to reinforce his spiritual power with prayers of their own. And if need be to help restrain the possessed person, should they become too violent? This assistant exorcist, if you will, or these assistant exorcists are known officially as weak little baby priests.

Every strong manly, tough guy, giant stone bald exorcist will bring a few weak little baby priests with him to, to, I don't know, just basically give him some to do, you know, make him feel important, you know, they can go grab him water if he's thirsty, make him a sandwich if he's hungry, rub his back if he's tense, you know, soaring stuff. Weak little baby priests, you know, pretty important part of the exorcism ritual. And of course, I kid, there's no special title for these other priests for assisting there just, you know, just called priest.

In addition to the exorcist and extra priest during the ritual, the exorcist, also usually has a small team of other members of the faith that he is charged with praying for the victim while the case is ongoing. So when seeking an exorcist, a bishop looks to priests who have already been a member of one of these teams who have witnessed the process firsthand. In past years, after a priest was selected, they were sent to the Vatican to be trained in person. Now approved candidates are able to get approved remotely.

Program is run by the International Association of Exorcists, which of course is based out of the Vatican. The aim of the course is to ensure well-founded principles and safe guidelines of behavior for future exorcists by helping them to learn those fundamental criteria of discernment in the implementation of the delicate and difficult ecclesial service that will be entrusted to them. In addition to teaching the liturgical action of exorcisms and how to properly perform them,

the course is meant to teach candidates how to identify between demonic possession and mental disorders. Over the years, to their credit, and yes, you are hearing me give the Catholic Church a lot of credit here, the church has worked harder and harder, worked very hard to make sure that more people don't die, you know, malnourished, tortured, tied to a bed, because you know, they were they were mentally ill, needed medical attention as opposed to spiritual attention. And sadly, that has happened a fair number of times over the years. All right, now to answer the question everyone's been waiting for.

Why do people get possessed? And how do they get possessed? Is there a way to avoid it? Am I going to get possessed? Before answering those questions, you have to deal with this sponsor break, unless you're a Spaceman on Patreon for five bucks a month. In that case, you don't have to deal with this sponsor break unless you're a space on patreon for five bucks a month In that case you don't have to hear it and you got this episode a few days early Thanks for listening and now truly time to answer the questions everyone's been waiting for why do people get possessed?

How do they get possessed is your way to avoid it? Am I gonna get possessed? Short answer is that if you listen to this show you're clearly not a very righteous person and just kind of ballparking it. I'm going to say there's a 65 to 90% chance that you're going to be possessed by demons at some point in the next few years. If you're not already currently possessed, the devil is going to almost certainly make a skin house out of your soulless corpse and parade you around like a stupid, foolish flesh puppet who you've always been I Imagine somewhere around 50% of you are fucking riddled with demons like stuff to the gills with demons right now

Like every time you burp or fart one or two lesser demons slip on out of you tell the truth I Have one of that about myself sometimes I mean who hasn't actually let a fart out on occasion has like an inhuman odor to it Right, should I be worried? Back to the actual information now The truth is that in order to answer the questions how and why people get possessed we first need to understand who and or what demons are But in order to understand demons we first have to understand Satan aka Lucifer the Prince of Darkness Beelzebub Beelzebub, Mephistopheles, Barthomet, the Antichrist, Pat Sajek, the King of Hell, Old Harry.

Old Harry really is what some people used to call Satan. Doesn't pack the same punch as some of Satan's other nicknames. Begone Satan! Leave this place, Prince of Darkness! I forsake you back to the pits of Hell, Old Harry! Also some of the names I listed like Baphomet considered to be the name of a demon, not the devil himself. Now we don't have enough time to cover the great deceiver's wretched backstory in its entirety, because frankly it's too long and too confusing, but we'll cover the most basic premise of it. We all know that Satan was once God's favorite. In fact, he was once the most perfect being created by the hands of the Lord and in heaven's hierarchy surpassed all other angels.

He was once, if you will, God's goody-two-shoes-daddy's-boy-sweetie-pie-angel-buddy-dude. But my how he has changed. His name wasn't Satan. As an angel in heaven, he was Lucifer. Interestingly, in early translations of the Bible, in the late 4th century, Vulgat, prepared largely by St. Jerome, one of the first translations of the Bible into Latin, Lucifer appeared not as the name of a devil, but as the Latin word Lucifer uncapitalized, meaning the morning star, the planet Venus, or as an adjective, light-bringing. Lucifer grew dissatisfied with his position in heaven. As powerful as he was, he didn't want

to be subservient to God. He wanted to be God. He had an ego bigger than his wingspan and he started a rebellion to usurp his creator. According to the book of Revelation, a third of the angels joined Satan in his unsuccessful insurrection and his punishment, both he and his mutinous followers were thrown out of heaven and into the bowels of hell for eternity. Revelation 12 7, uh 12 verse 7 through 10,

and war broke out in heaven. Michael and his angels fought with the dragon, and the dragon and his angels fought, but they did not prevail, nor was a place found for them in heaven any longer. So the great dragon was cast out that serpent of old called the devil and Satan, who deceives the whole world. He was cast to the earth and his angels were cast out with him. Since then, Satan and his fucking demon goon dipshit friends have only had one goal, to enslave and torment all of humanity by getting them to obey their god and turn their souls over to him in hell. A statement from the fourth Lateran Council of Pope Innocent III explains Lucifer in his posse like this, fourth Lateran Council of Pope Innocent III explains Lucifer in his posse like this,

the devil and the other demons were created good by God, but they became evil through their own fault. Okay, expected to be a little bit longer, but oh yeah, that's fine. While most consider Satan to be a metaphor for evil or an abstract conceptualization of morality, according to scripture, that's heresy, Satan is not a metaphor. He's a real living entity who we all must be wary of lest we fall prey to his evil ambitions. However, that doesn't mean that there isn't some disagreement, even within the clergy, about the specifics of Satan's life and how big of a threat he poses to mankind. For instance, Father Amorth takes a very literal,

or took, he's passed away, but took a very literal stance on how God's favorite fell from grace. In an exercise that tells the story, he wrote that not only was Satan the most perfect and powerful being created by God, but that in heaven he actually had an actual throne to sit on, and was in charge of governing certain dominions and principalities. How does he claim to know this? I would guess through the study of the teachings of various theologians, many of them from medieval Europe and through biblical interpretation. And he wrote,

God never rejects his creatures. Therefore, even though they broke with God, Satan and his angels maintained their power and rank. Those thrones, dominions and principalities, even if they used them for evil purposes. And regarding the devil's evil purposes, Father Amorth writes, Saint Augustine does not exaggerate when he claims that.

If God gave Satan a free hand, no man would be left alive. Meaning if Satan had God's power, humanity would already be lost. Because Satan just can't kill us all willy nilly, he tries the next big thing to piss off, excuse me, Earth's Sky Daddy. And that's to get us to disobey God, turn our backs on the Lord, just as he did. He was somewhat successful with Adam and that OG shrub slut Eve, if you know you don't. And it seemed he would continue to be successful until Christ came along and established the kingdom of God on earth.

A spiritual realm for us to lowly earthly meat sacks where God reigns as king. However, although Jesus destroyed the work of the devil and established the kingdom of God on earth, that wasn't the end of the battle and the war between God and his fallen angel is still ongoing. This is because between the last time Jesus stopped by and his next scheduled visit, the second coming, Satan is trying to gather as many souls as he can to use an award against his enemy. In his arrogance, he thinks he can destroy God and he's throwing anything and everything he has at humanity to prepare for his big fight. He's coming for all of us, but he's making a lot harder push for some of us Some of our souls and others Satan does not target a single group

He targets all people no matter where they live how old they are what they believe and one interview Pope Francis said What is certain is that the devil tries to attack everyone without distinction and tries above all to strike those who have more responsibilities in the church or in society. We are human beings and he will always try to attack us. So while he tries to attack everyone, he tries a lot harder. He prefers to target the most faithful and or and or most important people. And that's, uh, it's kind of hard to hear actually, actually because I don't I don't think I've ever been targeted You know and it kind of bothers me. The devil hasn't come after me. I mean is devil just down there thinking Cummins who gives a shit that loser is a complete waste of my time

Well, fuck you to be honest above I don't even care. You don't want me my feelings are even hurt a little bit. You see water my eyes. That's allergies, man Bro, I have year-round allergies. Okay Anyway, Satan is waging war against the light does not care how many casualties are caused, you know Left in his path to total dominion total domination. So we attacks on a global scale however according to the church during periods of great sinfulness Satan's presence is more evident and Apparently we are currently in one of those periods. Is that why so much good music is being made right now? Is that why it's easier than it's ever been in my lifetime to find good quality party

drugs and psychedelics? Is that why there's so many fun sex toys on the market right now? Incredible lingerie. So much high-def, totally free porn featuring the best bodies on the planet. Thank you, Satan, I guess. I know demonic possessions are not fun but maybe a little bit Satan? I don't hate it. Hail Lucifina. In addition to an increase in western consumerism, materialism, socialism, communism, and hedonism, Satan's success is largely attributed to a decline

in the number of people worshiping the Christian God via the Catholic Church. And before I share what Father Amorath has to say about that, I want to add that I'm not surprised at all that communism is on the list of Satanic things. I fucking knew it was evil! Sodable jangles. Regarding that dip in Catholicism, Father Amorth writes, we can see the proliferation, especially among the young of spiritism, witchcraft, the occult, yoga, okay, zen, Transcendental Meditation. These are all practices based on reincarnation, on dissolving the human person into divinity, or in any case, on other doctrines that are unacceptable to Christians.

Anyone else think it's funny that yoga got thrown in there? I mean, I guess I'm not totally surprised that yoga is a little satanic. I mean, seeing women in yoga pants, sometimes for sure gives me devilish thoughts. Hail to Sofina. Whoever helped popularize yoga pants, thank you. Back to our original question. Why slash how do people get possessed? Father Amorth describes four primary reasons people fall victim to extraordinary satanic activity. The first reason is simply that God allows it. In these cases, the victim is completely blameless and has done nothing to increase his or her chances of demonic affliction. They've simply fallen

prey to the external actions of the free will-haven devil. But also, you're a sinner, right? All of you. Sin is what allows all possession to take place, so maybe you're not 100% completely blameless. If you could have just never, ever sinned once in your life, not one time, you'd be okay. It is through sin that the devil gains influence and eventually dominion over someone's soul, which opens him or her up to possession. If you do get randomly possessed, it's important to note that this doesn't mean that God has abandoned the person who was randomly afflicted. Father of Morth writes,

Nothing happens without God's permission. God always allows normal satanic activity and gives us all the grace is necessary to resist it with the resulting good of strengthening our spiritual life. In the same manner, God at times also allows extraordinary satanic activity to increase our humility, patience, and mortification. Interesting. So, to God in a roundabout way, kind of the reason we have all this porn right now, God wants us to have it. I mean, to increase our humility, of course, but you know.

The next reason people get possessed is because they don't go peepee in the potty like good boys. God hates it. We don't go peepee in the potty like a good boy, or like a good girl. And he will for sure allow the devil to slap your soul around and torment you. No, the next reason people get possessed

is because they're the target of an evil spell. Like those in the first category, people subjected to a curse are in no way guilty for their current condition. However, unlike the first category, where the only autonomous action comes from Satan, in these cases, you know, there's some human activity involved. When someone falls under an evil spell and becomes possessed, it is because another person has invoked the devil and besieged him to intervene on their behalf. Should be noted that far from all members of the church or even members of the clergy do believe that evil curses cast by humans

are like a thing, a possibility. This belief is much more prevalent in medieval times. So if you do get cursed, take some comfort and knowing that there's a, there's a real good chance that literally no one is going to believe you. If you get cursed, take, please take some comfort and knowing that you are fucked. No one's going to ever help you. I guess that's probably not very comforting. Uh, the final reason that people get possessed is because they associate with evil people or evil places. Uh, father of Morse writes that this category includes the practice or assisting in the practice of

seances, witchcraft, satanic cults or sex, which culminate in black masses, the occult, as well as associating with warlocks, witch doctors, or certain types of card readers. These are all activities that make us vulnerable to evil spells. If we go so far as to desire relationship with Satan, there is such a thing as consecration to Satan, the blood pact with Satan, attendance at Satanic schools, and the election to the priesthood of Satan. Father of Morts words here have really led to me doing a lot of serious reflection, a lot of contemplation. I had to ask myself over the last few days, have I ever associated with warlocks and you know what I don't know

I honestly don't know I feel stupid saying this But I don't think I've ever screamed my friends and family for warlocking Or for witch doctoring and that's a big mistake as I'm seeing now When I get home tonight, I'm gonna make sure that neither Lindsay nor my daughter Monroe are fucking warlocks If either one of them says yes or I don't believe them when they say no, immediate punch to the face. Be gone warlock. Get out of here to hell with the devil. Lindsay does fuck around a lot with crystals. Feels witchy. Makes me nervous. Also, can dogs be warlocks?

If one of my dogs is a warlock, oh, it is for sure. Penny pooper, ginger bell, much too sweet, or is that a trick? I might have two little warlock doodles at home. Sorry, I'll try and push pause on my sarcastic bullshit. After this next day, I'm going to say satanic schools. I'm pretty sure that's not a thing. Uh, if you know of any satanic schools, please shoot me an email or DM with the link. I'd be curious what you're studying. I'd love to hear more about it.

Okay, now that we know who Satan is, what he wants, why he goes around possessing folks, let's meet the last piece of the possession puzzle, the fucking demons themselves! According to prominent Italian 13th century Dominican friar, priest, philosopher, theologian, virgin, Thomas Aquinas, demons like Satan were made by God and they were made to be good. Also like Satan they became evil through their own fault. Demons are the angels that joined Satan as I mentioned and his rebellion against God were cast out of heaven for doing so. In hell they continued to be subservient to their prince of darkness. Despite their excommunication to the underworld, demons still maintain some angelic qualities,

though. For instance, a lot of them can still play real mean harp. Check out this little ditty, recorded by the demon Gargamel. I mean, uh, GammaGin. It's nice, soothy. I mean, not bad. Apparently completely self-taught. Color me impressed, demon.

Color me impressed. Wow, okay. Oh, real quick before I move on from this silliness, when I tried to figure out how to properly say the demon, Gammigan's name, I came across this video that was cracking me the fuck up. This channel is working Dragon Mystic and the video is titled the demon Gamigans slash Samminga. This one always found interesting because if you'll notice with the goetic sigils when you look them up on Google or anywhere, you'll notice the name of the entity is around the sigil.

There is a G in the names of this, so it never really caught my attention. However, when I was working with this entity and talking with it, the entity corrected me on its name and asked me to please call it Sam Gina. Sam Gina. Okay. Okay. I said Samina. I kind of threw me off for a little bit, but when I looked at the sigil, I realized if you look around the border, the sigil I was using and online, that's actually what's on the border of most of them.

How nice of the demon to, you know, really point out like that. No, no, no, no, it's, uh, it's, uh, uh, Sam, Sam, Sam, a G or whatever fuck he said, Saminha, Sam, Samgina. There we go. Thank you, Dragon Mystic. Dragon Mystic, by the way, looks like a satanic private detective from the 1940s. Uh, very interesting, uh, kind of, kind of a tire. I like it. It's just, you know, it's unique. Okay, like angels

of light. Demons are immortal and powerful. Each has unique capacity for knowledge, intelligence and skill. Additionally, like angels, demons also desire to be part of a hierarchy. Hence, their allegiance to Satan, right? Everyone likes a little structure. Children, students, demons. All demons, including Satan, who is demon himself, albeit the most powerful, also have the ability to change to take on any desired form, including that of an angel of light. Although demons are sexless, it is also possible for them to appear in the form that is alluring and beautiful to someone in order to seduce someone into sin. Hail, Lucifer! If I do have to be

attacked by a demon, I want to be a sexy ass lady demon. Much of our western conceptualization of demons' appearance comes from artists and authors from centuries far removed from the writing and or compilation of the Bible, such as Francisco Goya's 1798 painting The Witch's Sabbath, which depicts a goat, Satan, with large horns and a crown of oak leaves, sitting like a human man with some witches laying around him. While the devil is rarely depicted in any form with a biblical basis, the association between demons and horns actually does have its roots in the Bible. Revelation 13.1 for example, describes a beast rising

out of the sea with 10 horns and seven heads and on its horns with 10 diadems and on its heads with blasphemous names." Sounds like Cthulhu's cousin, some kind of Lovecraftian monster. Later, Revelation 1311 details another demon that rose out of the earth. It had two horns, like a lamb, when it spoke like a dragon. Although the Bible doesn't give any exact statistics about exactly how many demons are roaming around in hell, philosophers, theologians, priests, preachers throughout the centuries, random dipshits like me have made guesses. Based on the biblical statement that a third of Heaven's angels were cast out down to the underworld

in 1467, Spanish priest Alfonso de Spina claimed that the total population of demons was 133,316,666. And that's a shit ton of demons. Not sure what kind of special demon calculator helped him get to that number. 1583, another estimation was put forth by physician Johann Weir, Johann Weir who just declared that there were a 4,439,622 demons in total.

That's way less How did that guy come up with that number? Well easy. He said there were 66 demonic nobles who governed 666 different demonic legions and each legion comprised of six thousand six hundred and sixty six individual lesser demons It's a lot of demons still Now those exorcist totals, you know, they went over earlier seem extremely low Right back in 1991 the US had one ordained exorcist totals, you know, that went over earlier seem extremely low. Right. Back in 1991, the U.S. had one ordained exorcist, even though there were 250 million people in a world of 5.4 billion people, right? That's a lot of souls that were at least four and a half million demons in the

world, possibly so many more since the U.S. had 4.6 the world's population. That means that it also had a little over 200,000 demons over 200,000 demons for one exorcist God, I guess that guy must have died from demon exhaustion Maybe there were fewer demons back then there is quite a bit of debate on whether or not the total number of demons remains constant If you know fixed or changes Some argue that because demons are the original fallen angels none can be subtracted or added to their ranks Thus the number of how many of them there are never changes. Others argue that because they are occasionally

referred to as evil spirits in the Bible, that means that a malevolent and sinful person could maybe become a demon in the afterlife. How many of the serial killers that we've covered here are still fucking with people on earth as demons? Sunday morning slasher from last week? Ho ho! For sure a demon right now. This is possible. Some also think that sometimes demons are created when humans fuck angels. Or when angels fuck humans. Not kidding. This does actually happen in the Bible. Genesis 6 verses 1-2, 1-2 read, Then began to multiply on the face of the land the daughters were born to them. The sons of God saw that the daughters of men were beautiful, and they took wives for themselves, whomever they chose. And these sons of God, seen by many as angels.

The human angel hybrid hypothesis doesn't actually have a lot of supporters though, which is a bummer because it sounds pretty hot. Whether or not demons can also be, in addition to fallen angels, the spawn of the sons of God and the daughters of man or the hostile souls of the dead. One thing that the university agreed upon by believers is that there is a flock ton of them. Despite this, the Bible only mentions a few by name. The demon Abaddon, for example, referenced in Revelations 911, where he is described

as the angel of the bottomless pit, a destructive force from the underworld whose main prerogative is inflicting woe and despair upon mankind. His name is derived from the Hebrew word for destruction or doom. Also described as the king of an army of locusts. In the Vulgate, he is described as a destroyer of souls. Described as an insatiable entity, always lusting for more power, more destruction, more pain. Interestingly, some Methodist and Jehovah's Witness publications have described a badden as one of God's angels, though, not one of Satan's minions, described as a powerful

warrior entity who fights not for the devil, but for God, a stroyer of evil forces. Another demon called out by name in the Bible is Molec, who is at his most powerful during the reign of King Solomon. Molec is a particularly fucked up demon in demonology lore because his favorite thing to do is trick people into thinking he's a god of light and worshiping him and eventually tricking them into sacrificing their children in his name. Molec was once an ancient Canaanite deity, often depicted as a bronze, bullheaded idol with outstretched hands over a fire. And there are so many other demons that come mostly from the musions of medieval theologians or cultists.

Many of the names of demons spoken about in demonology circles today come from the lesser key of Solomon. An anonymously authored, Grimoire, a book of magic or sorcery, that names 72 powerful demons, such as Zappar, a great Duke of Hell who commands 26 legions of inferior spirits. He is a demon of lust and sodomy who loves to trick women by showing up as their lover and then leaving them barren with his touch. Vlaak, the demon from the conjuring universe, shows up in the lesser key of Solomon.

He is a great president of Hell, mighty, having 30 legions of demons under his command, often depicted as a small boy with angel wings riding a two-headed dragon, or maybe as a scary-ass demon nun in recent days. Then there's Greg. Greg is the sleepiest of all sleepy-ass demons. Greg demon appears as a normal-looking dude, shows up in places where people are about to get murdered. In order to give victims false hope and have them think that there's someone nearby who is going to call the police or help them in some way like a fucking normal person would. But Greg instead just nods off and falls asleep after seeing you start to be attacked.

He doesn't do shit. He just straight up just lets you get murdered. Little nod to last week's sucker if you're very curious what the hell I'm talking about right now. During the nexicism, if a demon reveals his name to be one from the Bible or a traditional name for Satan, such as Bielzebub, Lucifer, Zebulun, Rydian, and Asmodeus, then that means they are especially powerful and difficult to exercise. Although evil takes many forms and acts in unpredictable ways, there are a few things

an exorcist can be sure to expect from a demon during an exorcism. First of all, the demon will do everything he can to avoid being discovered. Oftentimes, it's not until the power of the exorcism ritual makes it suffer so much that the demon is forced to reveal itself, but even then, it might take a few tries. Father Amorth writes that sometimes, it is not until the second or third blessing that the demon will reveal itself. He writes that, At times the revelation is progressive. Some possessed appear to have a different sickness at each session.

Some possessed individuals are silent and immobile, and if provoked, any reaction is limited to the eyes. Others fling themselves about and unless they are held down they harm themselves. Others wail, especially if they are blessed with the sign of the cross or with holy water. During an exorcism demons are also very reluctant to talk. If one does speak it will continue to lie about its identity until it is no longer able to. It will also do everything it can to distract the exorcist from his task and avoid his questions. Hurl threats of harm and perversion at him and reveal the ugliest sins of each person

in the room. Can you imagine if that actually happened to you? Like if some person seemingly possessed by a demon, right? Revealed some some deeply held secret of yours. Something that you had never told anyone. Like you knew it couldn't know that naturally. Don't lecture me about God, banana peel fucker. Do you still think about Rhonda and her big titties when you see a banana Daniel? Do you still want them? Do you want to take it into the grocery store and fuck the peel?

Right and then everyone present in the exorcism is just staring at me like, what? What did that demon just say? I don't know, that was weird, that's crazy. That's crazy shit that the demon thinks that I did, I definitely, I never did. That's real weird. Are you going to also deny fucking your stepmother's

throw pillows Daniel? Going to bed soon Daniel? Oh shit, this is crazy. It's clearly not the amount of possession just the ramblings of their mental ill. I'm gonna take off, you know, since there's definitely not a demon present. This is a waste of our time.

Time to go home and eat five or six Oreos Daniel. When you, no one's looking and then act like you don't know why your weight is not going down, Daniel. For real, though, someone started looking all fucking crazy and they started sharing secrets of mine. I knew I had not told anyone. Oh, that changes my life a lot. I am now a very firm believer, devil demons, God, all of it for the rest of my

life. That would be the most terrifying, but also maybe weird to say about demonic possession, but most beautiful experience of my life. Like undeniable proof of the supernatural. How cool. I mean, I mean, even if revealed in a horrifying way, how amazing to really know that a world apart from science 100% exists. A telltale verbal sign of a demonic presence is that they're unable to speak holy names. Instead, the demon will only refer to God and Jesus as he, Mary's her, or slurs. When a demon's strength and hold on their victim begins to weaken, the rhetoric will change. Father Amorth writes,

For a demon to leave a body and go back to hell means to die forever and to lose any ability to molest people actively. He expresses his desperation during exorcisms with words such as these, I am dying, I am dying, I can't take it any longer. Enough, you are killing me. You are murderers, hangmen, all priests are murderers and similar sentences. I hadn't heard about that before, that the demon has banished hell forever. It's not how it works in the movies. All right, now let's go over step by step on how to perform an exorcism according to the, again the Latin coming up, di exo sanzis obsesis adam demonio, on exercising the possessed by the demon. Published in 1614, the first official version of the ritual ritual this version of the right of the exorcism actually went unchanged all the way until 1999

When it was completely rewritten by the Holy See the central government of the Catholic Church led by the Pope The title of the new version of the ritual is more Latin de exosimis it's supplicant supplication bus quiz bustum Something like that, or of exorcisms and certain supplications. Although it's acceptable to use either edition, we're gonna focus on the English translation

of the original 1614 text, and then just give a brief summary of how the 1991, or 1999 one differs. The exorci-sandis begins with some preliminary instructions for the exorcist and reiterates the qualities he should have. We went over these a little earlier, but preliminary instructions for the Exorcist and reiterates the qualities he should have. We went over these a little earlier, but just to recap, the Exorcist should be old, well-read, devout, humble, someone swinging a huge pork sword, aka tube steak, aka lobotan, aka one-eyed,

wonder weasel over those giant stone balls, and have exceptional integrity. Just forget about the wiener talk. The introduction to the ritual offers a very brief warning to the exorcist. Claims that he should not believe too readily that the person is possessed by an evil spirit, but he ought to ascertain the signs by which a person possessed can be distinguished from one who is suffering from melancholy, or some of their illness. As we'll see later, this was one thing that the 1999 revision made significant changes to in the ritual, where the original is not unconcerned, but less concerned with the possibility of misdiagnosing an exorcism. The new version puts ensuring that a person is actually possessed and not suffering from any mental or physical ailment is a top priority for the exorcist.

In fact, the 1614-day Exhorazandis even warns the exorcist that the devil might try to trick him by making the position appear like a worldly condition such as mental illness. It says, The evil spirits place whatever obstacles they can in the way, so that the patient may not submit to exorcism, or try to convince him that his affliction is a natural one. The devil might also try to deceive the exorcist by answering his questions and confusing in maddening ways so that he gives up or By making the victim appear to be liberated

Before I read what the book says about this. I need to share something Not kidding as I first began to work on this part of the notes And as I'm recording this was just like yesterday afternoon for me. I looked out into my backyard I'm sitting at home working on it and I watched I think it was a small hawk Pretty small land on what looked like a sparrow. I'm not at home working on it and I watched, I think it was a small hawk, pretty small, landed on what looked like a sparrow. I'm not a bird expert. So who knows when I'm getting these bird names right? But one bird about the size of what a small hawk I think

is landed on another bird that seemed to be about the size of a little sparrow, just straight up fucking smashed him. And the bigger bird seemed to squeeze and suffocate the smaller bird with its talons. And it just fucking stood there, seemingly staring at me through the sliding glass door Standing on this little bird that's fluttering trying to get away as it's dying

And then the bird stops fluttering and this creepy bigger bird flies off with a dead little bird and his talons That happened right as I'm getting to this part like never ever have seen that happen in my yard before or in anybody else's yard It was creepy-ass timing The devil sent me a message! And now here's what the book says about the demon tricking the exorcists. Once in a while, after they are already recognized, they conceal themselves and leave the body practically free from every molestation, so that the victim believes himself completely delivered. Sometimes the devil will leave the possessed person in peace, and even allow him to receive

the Holy Eucharist, to make it appear that he has departed. In fact, the arts and frauds of the evil one for deceiving a man are innumerable. Another way a demon might try to trick the exorcist is by insisting that it is not a demon, might as said claim to be a spirit of a saint, to cease to love one, even an angel from heaven, but no matter what the exorcist must, never give credence to the devil. The preliminary instructions also include a short list of potential signs of possession, and these are, the ability to speak with some facility in a strange tongue, or to

understand it when spoken by another, the faculty of divulging future and hidden events, display of powers which are beyond the subject's age and natural condition, and various other indications which, when taken together as a whole, build up the evidence. Like we went over earlier, the exorcism should take place in the church, but if the victim is too weak to be moved, then their home is acceptable. Either way, it should always be performed in private. If the victim is in good enough physical health, then in preparation for the exorcism, as well as during it, they should fast regularly, go to confession as often as they can, and receive holy communion as much as possible.

During the exorcism, the priest should keep a crucifix at hand. If it is possible, they should also take the relics of saints, such as their personal items or manuscripts, secure them in a safe container, and place them on the breast of the victim. It is vital that no harm is done to the holy objects. The Exorcist should also only stick to the script during the ritual, even if he is tempted. He should never ask, quote, superfluous questions, superfluous questions, excuse me, or questions that are prompted by curiosity, particularly if they pertain to future and hidden matters, all of which have nothing to do with his office. Instead, he will

bid the unclean spirit keep silence and answer only when asked. However, there are some questions, the exorcist is authorized to ask the demon. For example, it is acceptable to inquire about the names of the demons, how many of them there are, when they possess the victim, and why they possess the victim. And yes, multiple demons. You can be possessed by more than one demon by legion of demons. You can have a demon orgy going on inside you. The exorcist is also permitted to ask through what means the demon is possessing the victim and quote command the devil to tell whether he is detained in that body by necromancy, by evil signs or amulets.

In the Catholic Church, amulets can be defined as any sort of perceived to be magical object associated with superstition and therefore paganism. In today's world, an example of an amulet that would be seen as heresy by the church is the evil eye, a talisman shaped like an eye thought to protect people from the evil eye, evil eye as supernatural belief, that a malevolent glare can be a sign that you're being cursed. The belief has existed since prehistoric times with amulets to protect against this dating back about 5,000 years.

The use of crystals, Lindsay? Also prohibited! The anti-amulant and subsequently anti-magic charges date back to the 4th century AD when the church decreed that members of the clergy were forbidden to be sorcerers, conjurers, or to wear amulets. Should a member of the clergy be found practicing magic or wearing slash owning an amulet, they will be excommunicated. They are very souls condemned to be separated from God's love forever. Now you might be asking yourself, doesn't the Catholic Church basically have amulets

of its own, like the pictures and medals of saints, or those relics of martyrs we were just talking about? Aren't those basically amulets? Well, the Church would say no. No they are not. According to multiple sources, unlike amulets, these objects are not thought to have any inherent power or divinity within them, or simply just by themselves can ensure anything like safety or success.

They are used, quote, not because it is believed that any divinity or virtue is in them, for which they are to be revered, or that anything may be asked from them, or that any confidence can be placed in the images, but because the honor which is exhibited to them is referred to the prototypes which they represent. Just a little reminder, you know, to be a good person because you got a little picture of a good person, hang around your neck. Okay, back to the 1614 day exoracandis. It goes on to say that should an amulet be assisting the devil and possessing the victim, it must be removed immediately. If it is found that the victim has ingested the amulet,

sounds painful, then, quote, he should be made to vomit them. The exorcist always being conscious of the potential requirement, this be done by a competent physician. If he has them concealed on his person, he should expose them. And when discovered, they must be burned. It is stressed the victim should reveal to the priest if he feels tempted to continue hiding the amulet,

or to ingest it again. During the exorcism, the exorcist should pose every question, prayer, demand, and threat with a commanding and authoritative voice. Prior to the start of the ritual, the exorcist should also know the full, proper name of the victim as well as their nicknames so they can address what they say directly and distinctly to them and not to the demon. The Exorciandis warns that the more authoritative the priest is, the more vex the demon will become, and the more it will try to undermine his power by, with, like a better word, a goofing off.

In that case, the priest should do his best to ignore and denounce the devil's games and mockery. Quote, As for all jesting, laughing, and nonsense on the part of the evil spirit, the exorcist should prevent it or condemn it, and he will exhort the bystanders, whose number must be very limited to pay attention to such goings-on. Neither are they to put any questions to the subject. What kind of nonsense do demons get up to? Non-picture and some possessed person standing up doing a lot of fucking big hip chyrations and

thrusts. You know weird grin on their face while saying super weird nonsensical shit like I bet you wish you could chew on the ice cream don't you priest chew it up and spit it out and then they pretend to ride an invisible horse just around the room he's just what a sexy monkey looks like Auntie Roger still skin but you can't guess my toe jam can you priest it's like weird giggles and shit what is this father saduchi it is nonsense father Luigi this is demonic nonsense if any Toejam, can you priest? That's like weird giggles and shit. What is this, Father Saduchi? It is nonsense, Father Luigi. This is demonic nonsense.

If any swelling, irritation, cuts, bruises, or other physical wounds appear on the body of the patient during the ritual, then the priest should trace the sign of the cross over the afflicted area and sprinkle it with holy water. Although the exorcist is not required to trace the sign of the cross, using oil that has been anointed, it is advisable. One of the few people permitted to attend the exorcism is the exorcist's

assistant, who can either be another exorcist or more likely just an experienced priest. The assistant's primary job in addition to prayer is to restrain the victim should the demon become exceptionally violent. Additionally, the assistant is tasked with keeping the holy objects like the cross, holy water, saints relics on hand and safely guarded. Because of the sanctity and potential danger of the exorcism ritual, the priest, assistant and victim should be the only people present for it. That is, unless the possessed person is a woman. If that is the case, then the exorcist is required to also be attended, or the exorcism is required to also be attended by several reputable female relatives of the woman, quote, who will hold on to the person when she is harass to also be attended by several reputable female relatives of the woman,

quote, who will hold on to the person when she is harassed by the evil spirit. Can't have the priest touch her. Can't can't leave those priests around a possessed lady. The devil would certainly use her to test their ability to remain celibate, to resist seduction. In order to protect himself from Satan's cunning, the ritual book also says that the exorcist should be prepared to have the demon reveal the exorcist's sins, especially those which he has forgotten and not confessed and those for which he has not received absolution. It therefore is prudent that the exorcist confess and receive absolution immediately prior to each exorcism session, but not merely to avoid embarrassment, but primarily to protect his own immortal soul. And that is exactly what Russell Crowe had to deal with in the Pope's Exorcist.

Once the exorcist is fully prepared to take the devil head on, he can begin the ritual. For the exorcism of a single individual, the priest begins by tracing the sign of the cross over himself, over the possessed person, and over the bystanders, and then sprinkles everyone with holy water. The possessed person should be placed before the priest either standing, sitting, laying down or if need be restrained in either of the last two positions. The exorcist then kneels and prays the litany of saints and after each line the bystanders in the room recite the accompanying response. The prayer starts with Lord have mercy on us.

Then all the bystanders repeat, Lord have mercy on us. Christ have mercy on us. And then all the bystanders repeat, Lord have mercy on us. Christ have mercy on us. Christ have mercy on us. And then it goes on for 122 more verses of call and response. The final line, the bystanders recite is, deliver us from evil. After that, the exorcist delivers Psalm 53, which is meant to imbue those present

with courage against powerful forces of evil. And recites a prayer asking for strength from God the exorcist then speaks directly to the demon reciting I Command thee unclean spirit Whosoever thou art along with all thine associates who have taken possession of this servant of handmade of God that by the mysteries of the Incarnation passion resurrection and ascension of our Lord Jesus Christ by the descent of our Holy Spirit by the coming of the Incarnation, Passion, Resurrection, and Ascension of our Lord Jesus Christ, By the descent of our Holy Spirit, By the coming of our Lord unto judgment, Thou shalt tell me by some sign or other thy name, In the day and the hour of thy departure. I command thee, more ever to obey me to the letter, I, who though unworthy, am a minister of God,

Neither shalt thou be emboldened to harm in any way this creature of God, nor the bystanders, nor any of their possessions." Pretty cool shit. After that, the exorcist reads at least one of the selected passages from the Gospels over the possessed person. The exorcist then fortifies himself and the possessed person by making the sign of the cross, placing the end of his stole at that long narrow scarf-like vestment that symbolizes a priest's authority and role as a mediator between God and the people, on the neck of the victim, his right hand on their head,

and speaking another prayer imploring God to help with what is to come next. Then the priest begins reciting the first actual prayer of exorcism. It's approximately 2,000 words long, broken up into three sections, can be repeated as many times as needed until the victim is delivered from Satan's grasp. Although it does incorporate a few more prayers to God, this portion of the ritual mostly consists of commands and threats addressed directly to the devil. It is like what we were talking about earlier with, right?

Major exorcisms being imprecatory. This is where the priest, strengthened by the light of God, enters a one-on-one battle with the demon to force it out instead of God, enters a one-on-one battle with the demon to force it out instead of asking God to do it for him. The first section begins with the priest commanding. I cast thee out on clean spirit. Go on and get your little evil rascal. Get the heck out of here. You're not a little bad boy. You don't ever got pee pee on the party know-how! You quit it! You just quit it! In the name of Lord Jesus Christ I need you to not get the heck off! No one likes you here! You little liar liar, pants on fire, wicked, poopy face boy!

I choose what it really says. I cast thee out, thou unclean spirit, along with the least encroachment of the wicked enemy, and every phantom and diabolical legion. In the name of our Lord Jesus Christ depart and vanish from this creature of God. For it is he who commands thee, he who ordered thee, cast down from the heights of heaven into the nethermost pit of the earth. Hence, pay heed Satan, and tremble, thou enemy of the faith, thou foe of the human race, for thou art the carrier of death and the robber of life, thou art the shirkler of justice in the root of all evil, the formenter of vice, the seducer of men,

the traitor of the nations, the instigator of envy, the font of avarice, the source of discord, the exciter of sorrows." More intense shit. The Existence then makes a sign of the cross cross three times over, the brow of the possessed person. Should the victim resist, the assistant will step in to ensure they receive the blessing by holding them down. In the next part of the exorcism, the exorcist besieges God to look upon his son or daughter who has fallen prey to Satan. A quick side note. Each time the pronoun of the victim is used, the original text indicates he or she, however that's getting really clunky to read. So I'm just going to read it like a priest would for a male victim. And for demonstration's sake, we'll just make up a totally random name. I'm just going to pull out a thin air for our

victim today. A name I sure can't recall ever using before. How about we, I don't know, how about we just go with Patrick L. Sayjack. Let's say Patrick L. Sejak is possessed because he's been doing a bunch of nasty occult shit. Let's say he pretends to be some super wholesome dude, but really? But no one's watching. When he's not the public eye, he has kids in cages in a secret basement beneath his house. And when his wife and kids and grandkids aren't around, he heads downstairs and he fucks those kids and he kills them. He drinks their blood and he does all that to please his lord and master Satan. Let's just say all that about Patrick Elsajak.

And then one day some coworker of Patrick Elsajak named, I don't know, whatever Vanessa M. Whitey notices that Patrick is for sure possessed by demons. Then an exorcism has to be done. Now that this made up scene has been set during this part of Patrick L. Sajak's exorcism, where the exorcist besieges God to look upon his son or daughter who has fallen prey to Satan, the priest would recite this. O God, Creator and Defender of the human race, who hast form man in thine image, look down with pity upon this thy servant, Patrick Leonard Sajak, who we often call Pat, for he has fallen prey

to the craftiness of an evil spirit. The ancient adversary, the arch enemy of the earth, enshrouds him in shuttering fear. He renders his mental faculties befuddled. He keeps him bewildered by making him so afraid. He holds him in a state of perturbation. Uh, perturbation, yes, as he strikes terror within him. Drive out, O Lord, the power of the devil, and banish his artifices and frauds. Let him the wicked tempter be routed afar by the sign of thy name."

The exorcist makes the sign of the cross, and the victim's brow. Let thy servant be protected and safeguarded in both body and soul. The prayer goes on for a bit longer, with the exorcist tracing the sign of the cross over the possessed person's breast at three different times. In the next section, the exorcist again addresses the demon directly. It is also the longest passage he is instructed to recite without interruption. A portion of it reads, I adjure thee, thou ancient serpent, by the judge of the living and the dead, by thy own creator, by the creator of the world, by him who has the power to consign thee to hell That thou speedily depart in trembling along with thy raving followers from this servant of God

Patrick Leonard say Jack whom we often call Pat who's done terrible and speakable things to children But now who seeks refuge in the bosom of the church? I adjure thee once more not by my own weakness, but by the might of the Holy Spirit. Be gone from this servant of God, Patrick Leonard, say, Jack, who the Almighty has made in his image. Yield therefore yield not to myself, but to the minister of Christ. For it is the power of Christ that compels thee. The Exorcist then recites another prayer with the bystanders before continuing to the last exorcism. I cast thee out, every unclean spirit, every phantom, every encroachment of Satan. In the name of Jesus Christ, for thee, O evil one, and for thy followers there will be worms

which never perish. For thee and for thine angels is made already an unquenchable fire, because thou art the prince of accursed murder. Thou the author of lettery, Thou the leader in sacrilege, Thou the model of vileness, Thou the teacher of heretics, Thou the inventor of every obscenity. Depart then, O evil one, depart accursed one, Depart with all thy falsity, For God his desire that man be his temple. Be gone now, be gone thou seducer. Thy places in solitude, thy dwelling in the serpent.

Man thou canst betray, but God thou canst not mock. It is he that drives thee out, for whose eyes nothing is hidden. When the possessed person is fully liberated from the demon, the exorcist is encouraged but not required to repeat three prayers over the victim. And the bystanders as many times as he deems necessary. The three prayers are the Our Father, the Hail Mary and the Athanasian Creed. After that, he's instructed to recite in order Psalms 90, 67, 69, 53, 117, 34, 30, 21, 3, 10, and 12.

Lot of stuff. Finding the very last thing the Exorcist says during the closing of the ritual is the prayer following deliverance. We beseech thee, O Almighty God, that the Spirit of Inequity may no longer have any power over thy servant, Patrick, Leonard, Seijak, but rather that he may depart afar and nevermore return. At thy command, O Lord, let there enter into this man a disposition to goodness finally. And the peace of our Lord Jesus Christ, by whom we have been redeemed, and that his fear no evil, because the Lord is with us. Who liveth and who reigneth with thee in the unity, with the Holy Spirit God for endless ages?

And then everybody responds with Amen. in the unity with the Holy Spirit God for endless ages and then everybody responds with Amen. Okay, that was the 1614 Exorcism Rite. When the revised version of the ritual was released, I mean condensed obviously, when the revised version of the ritual was released in January of 1999, it caused some controversy. In a 2002 edition of Latin Mass Magazine, one article, I haven't read it surprisingly, one article describes the new rite of exorcism as defective, laughable, scandalous, and dishonest. Some things that angered people the most about the new revision was that 12 of the 21 steps in the preliminary instructions were removed, more emphasis placed on identifying the difference

between mental illness and possession, and consulting with medical professionals, and that much of the language was simplified to make the difference between mental illness and possession and consulting with medical professionals, and that much of the language was simplified to make the ritual easier to understand and more accessible. Many argue that because exorcism should only be performed by the select few, whether or not the ritual is easy to perform is irrelevant. In regards to this, part of that 2002 article reads, The preface of the new edition provides translation of the right into myriad languages. But what on earth for? If an exorcist does not know enough Latin to perform the prayers in Latin, he should not be appointed to the office. Fuckin' boom! Yeah! Mic drop what he said. Take that,

Pope! Good folks at Latin Mass Magazine, not afraid to speak their minds. Now let's keep this demon train, moving down the hell tracks, and jump into our Time Suck timeline to investigate how the Catholic exorcism became what it is today. After today's second of two, mid-show sponsor breaks. Thanks for listening, supporting this show, and now it is Time Suck Demon Timeline. Time. Shrap on those boots, soldier. We're marching down a Time Suck Timeline. In ancient Mesopotamia, during the first millennium BC, Sumerian exorcists performed ceremonies to expel demons from the bodies of the innocent.

While I think most of us link exorcism so strongly to Christianity, specifically to the Catholic Church, they were happening prior to Christianity. Back then in Mesopotamia, which was largely made up of what is now Iraq, Kuwait, and Syria, magic was an integral part of the culture and an everyday reality for the people that live there. When something unfortunate happened to you, you got it, you got sick, you had a broken arm, your crops failed, or your livestock started acting weird. That meant that a gosh dang demon had taken up residence in your body or on

your land or in your, you know, pig or whatever. The demon might have been acting on its own for you well, but it also could have been sent by a sorcerer, a warlock, right? That pissed you off. Uh, although Mesopotamian exorcists occasionally were associated with particular temple, they mostly just worked independently. It's private contractors, right? Had their own clients.

Uh, during nexism, only the exorcist and the client could be present in the rituals lasted anywhere from a few hours to a couple of days. Through a series of incantations, the exorcists would call upon an element like oil or fire, or an actual deity to aid them in their cause. The exorcism would end with the demon getting imprisoned within an inanimate object like a wooden figurine which was then burned or thrown away. How many little demon boxes are now buried beneath the desert out there? It's not like the start of a scared to death story. In the last couple centuries,

prior to the birth of Jesus, exorcisms show up in the Jewish faith Even one of the 48 Jewish prophets King Solomon born approximately 970 BC reportedly performed multiple exorcisms King Solomon the demon slayer a lot of demon talk around Solomon The lesser Kia Solomon I mentioned is based on the Testament of Solomon. A book said to be written by King Solomon, son and successor of King David, the man who built the first temple in Jerusalem. And in the Testament of Solomon, Solomon battles so many demons. The book begins when a demon named Ornius harasses a young man who is favored

by Solomon by stealing half of his pay and sucking out his vitality through the thumb on his right hand. That's crazy. Solomon praised the temple received from the archangel Michael a magic ring with the seal of God in the shape of a pentagram, interesting, which will enable him to command the demons. Solomon lends the ring to the lad who by throwing the ring at the demon Ornius stamps him with the seal and brings him under control. Then Solomon orders the demon Ornius, take the ring, and similarly imprint the Prince

of Demons, Beozaboo. With Beozaboo, not spelled Beozabub in this book, under his command Solomon now has all the demons at his bidding to build the temple. And Beozaboo reveals that he was formerly the highest ranking angel in heaven. And a bunch of demon shit happens in this book. A lot of exorcisms. A man named Flavius would also write about Solomon and his demon fight in ways about a thousand years later.

In 94 AD, Jerusalem-born Flavius Josephus wrote a 20-volume work that describes the history of the Jewish people from the creation of Adam and Eve as it is described in the Hebrew Bible all the way through the first Jewish Roman war in 66 AD. The massive work is called the Antiquities of the Jews and contains multiple references to the gifts of exorcism that God gave Solomon, as well as how the tactics used by Solomon to evict evil spirits were still being used in his own day. Quote, This method of cure is of great force unto this day, for I have seen a certain man of

my own country, releasing people that were demonical in the presence of Vespasian and his sons and his captains and the whole multitude of his soldiers. In approximately 670 BC a Babylonian or possibly a Syrian king calls upon an exorcist to expel evil demons troubling him. On the king's estate the exorcist performs a ritual which translates to the burning. The burning was one of the most common forms of exorcism during this time, and this particular case is one where we have the most detailed report of it. The ritual began at dusk, lasted until dawn. During it, the exorcist recited over a hundred incantations,

placed magical items around the victim's room and anointed him with oil. So definitely some similarities between this type of exorcism and ones that will come later within Christianity. We can ascertain more of what the exorcist did during the ritual because we still have the instruction manual for it. The directions for the burning were inscribed on a series of nine tablets. Eight of the tablets are inscribed with the full incantations. For the exorcist to recite during the ritual, the ninth is inscribed with the full incantations for the exorcist to recite during the ritual.

The ninth is inscribed with the accompanying actions. Small fragments or simplified versions of the burning ritual were found both in the royal libraries from the period as well as in private libraries of known exorcists, such as a medicine man named Kasir Asur. Interestingly enough, Kasir Asur not only one of the earliest exorcists we know of, but one of the earliest healers in recorded human history. According to the Corpus of Mesopotamian anti-witchcraft rituals by the University of Würzburg in Germany, the basic structure of the burning is fairly similar to that of most exorcisms.

During the ceremony, quote, The victim is transferred from a state of imminent death back to life. He is purified and his bound state undone. Sorcerers and sorcerers are assigned the fate they had intended for their victim by sending the witchcraft back to them. Oh shit! You just got reversed, cursed! During the third century, BC, ecstasisms directed at demons that caused disease and illness

are taught by the Jewish faith. A set of ancient manuscripts called the Dead Sea Scrolls from this period outlined how one can charm a demon out of a victim's body using incantations and songs. And some of these songs have been translated into English and performed with full musical accompaniment. Pretty cool. You can find the videos on YouTube. I hear one of many. What a fool to believe.

He sees no one's back home. Oh, oh, oh. So reason away. Incredible! Michael motherfucking McDonald's! Demon Slayer! Additionally, passages in the Dead Sea Scrolls describe how those who have fallen under the influence of false prophets or mediums also required an exorcism. Calder moves from 1 BC to 1 AD by the way. And in approximately 28 AD, Jesus and Baphomet mud wrestle. Sunday Sunday Sunday! At the Bethlehem Pacific Center and Auditorium on University Street

across from the Hallean Express and KFC, the Son of God takes on one of Hell's mightiest demons! Two deities enter the cage. Only one will survive. Jesus is the betting favorite since he's the son of Almighty God, and also God himself. It's complicated, but far from it. It's pretty scary looking with goat-headed wings.

Will fear be a factor or will faith prevail? We'll sell you the whole seat, but you only need the edge. For real now. 28 AD. Jesus is baptized in the River Jordan at Bethany by John the Baptist. Immediately afterward, he departs for the Judean Desert for 40 days and 40 nights with no food or water. During his fast, head demon, Satan, tries to tempt Jesus away from God three times, and each time, Satan fails. When he returns to the desert, Jesus brings teaching and performing miracles, one of these miracles being exorcisms.

He does this until his crucifixion in 30 AD. In Mark 1, chapter 1 verses 23 through 26, a man with an unclean spirit entered the synagogue, screaming and shouting at Jesus. According to the King James Version of the Bible, Jesus rebuked him, saying, Hold thy peace and come out of him. And when the unclean spirit had torn him and cried with a loud voice, he came out of him. In another instance, described in Mark 5 verses 8 through 13, Jesus is met by a naked and wild man with superhuman strength living amongst the tombs of Gadarene

What if that dude had a boner? Come on. Am I the only one anyone else that I wonder that? I mean kind of an important detail It's never made clear in scripture, which is unfortunate because this fucker You know he's scary either way, but way more scary If you got a boner. And how big is it? Six inches? That's a little bit scary. Ten inches. Thick as a baby's arm. That's terrifying. Two inches. Not much bigger around than a soda straw. Pretty funny, actually. It's clear that not only is the man possessed, but he'd been possessed for a long, long time.

During their encounter, after proclaiming, uh, come out of the man you unclean spirit, Jesus speaks directly to the demon and asks its name. Though the possess, uh, through the possessed man, the entity responds, my name is Legion, for we are many. That's a badass quote. It's one of the spookiest quotes to me at least in the whole Bible. Uh, for context, a Roman legion consists of 6,000 men. So although there might not have been exactly 6,000 demons, uh, excuse me, possessing the man's body, it was clear that there were a lot. He was infested. You know how they say the human body is mostly water? This dude, you know, mostly demon. In the face of the Son of God, the legion of demons begs Jesus not to send them out of the area, but to send them out of the man and allow them to enter the bodies of a herd of pigs nearby.

Not sure why they would beg him for that's never made entirely clear to me at least. Jesus obliges and the unclean spirits came out and enter the swine and the herd numbering about 2000 rushed down the steep bank into the sea and were drowned in the sea. Sounds like although there were a lot of demons, none of them are real smart. That was a legion of dummy demons. I hope if I ever have to battle with a demon or demons, they're dumb as fuck. Right? Give up Daniel. God will not save you. Resistance is futile. Your soul is mine.

I don't know, Damon. I don't think you're strong enough to take me. I bet you're so weak. You couldn't even possess this tiny little ant here on the counter. You don't think I'm strong enough to possess an ant you fool No, I don't I mean if you could if you could possess that little ant I'll just give you my soul watch me fool And then I look down at the counter and the little ants head starts to spin around and it's bam Just fucking squish it Fuck you dumbass and demon. It'll be a nice demon battle for me by the third century AD Christianity is spreading rapidly across the world the purpose of exorcism

Well, that's world the area the known world for the people living there Middle East a little bit Europe Become solidified within the church the success of Christianity relied heavily on the admonishment of paganism aka any belief system that is not Christianity in such during this period paganism starts to be seen as something evil, something that requires exorcisms. For the first time in the 4th century AD, minor exorcisms become an integral part of the rite of baptism, or a minor exorcism. Going to jump way ahead now, during the Middle Ages, approximately around the 12th century, 13th century AD, the rite of exorcism becomes more widely available through the publication of Pontificals. Small portable collections of ceremonies a priest can perform. However, unlike the ritual Romano, which standardized the ceremonies in 1614, Pontificals were produced

by individual monasteries or cathedrals and thus each had slight variations. During this period, Christian scholars start to study demonology, which helps legitimize the practice of exorcism. For example, in his Summa Theologiae, written in the 13th century, Thomas Aquinas writes, Demons cannot work miracles, nor can any creature, but God alone. Since in the strict sense, a miracle is something done outside the order of the entire craft-created nature, under which every power of a creature is contained. But sometimes, miracle may be taken in a wide sense for whatever exceeds the human power in experience, and thus demons can work miracles that is things which rouse man's astonishment

by reason of their being beyond his power and outside his sphere of knowledge. Because more people now had access to the instructions for expelling Satan, it is also during this period that a form of exorcism starts being used to SUMMON Satan. Most famous example of an exorcism used for paganism takes place in the 1400s as written about in the Book of Incantations, Exorcisms, and various Fascinations. The only surviving copy of this book is housed in the Bavarian State Library in Munich, Germany, and it's thus most often called the Munich manual of demonic magic The Munich manual is what is known as a grimoire textbook of magic and this particular grimoire teaches a type of European sorcery called Goisha and

Random side note when I looked on YouTube for a video on how to pronounce Goisha The first video that came up was posted by none other than recent suck subject Damien Eccles One of the West Memphis three. I thought that was pretty cool really copy half guard First video that came up was posted by none other than recent SUCK subject Damien Eccles. One of the West Memphis Three, I thought that was pretty cool, really caught me off guard. Very intelligent, well read, well spoken dude, by the way. Posts about all kinds of esoteric, interesting shit. He has a Patreon YouTube channel dedicated to magic, MAGIC. Very knowledgeable about stuff like Lesser Kia Solomon, Wiccan beliefs, Thilema and

more. Anyway, the Munich Manual contains instructions on how to cast spells for your every need, Leicester Kiasolomon, Wiccan Beliefs, Thilema, and more. Anyway, the Munich Manual contains instructions on how to cast spells for your every need, including but not limited to seeing the future, finding a lost item, becoming invisible, resurrecting a dead person, Nick Romanzi, arousing hatred between friends, obtaining a horse,

obtaining a boat, obtaining a castle, obtaining a boat, obtaining a castle, obtaining a throne, obtaining a woman's love, or one of my favorites, for obtaining information about theft by gazing into a fingernail. Ah, yeah, totally. Looking at a fingernail long enough, and I guess you'll start to think, you know, you've learned all sorts of shit, probably because you're completely out of your mind. Also I like the range of power regarding these spells, right? You want to spend a bunch of time figuring out how to get a spell to work regarding obtaining probably because you're completely out of your mind. Also, I like the range of power regarding these spells, right?

Do you want to spend a bunch of time figuring out how to get a spell to work regarding obtaining a horse? Or do you want to learn how to raise the dead? The manual also offers a directory of various demons and their individual specialties, as well as how to conjure each of them. And these demonic conjuring rituals use the exact same language as that

of the Catholic exorcism. The ritual for calling Satan forth, for example, is almost identical to the rite of Exorcism. Interestingly enough, this is because both rituals are centered around the Exorcist or conjure invoking the power of God to force the devil into submission. For example, a section of the rite of conjuring Satan reads, Conjuring Satan reads, might walk across without hindrance. So too I command you to obey my precepts day and night, at all hours and moments, and be subject to my precepts. So by invocation of our Lord Jesus Christ, I command you to obey me without delay, without harm or deception to me.

If possible, would be pretty cool to be able to conjure control the devil. Right? Have a bunch of friends over for a party. We all be able to conjure control the devil. Right. Have a bunch of friends over for a party. We all just sit around, just make the devil entertain you. Satan Satan, I command thee to break dance for two straight minutes. Go now, Satan. Satan, now I command thee to do an impression of Christopher Walken singing. Miley Cyrus's flowers. Do it now, devil! Alright, jumping forward to June 17, 1614, when Pope Paul V authorizes the publication of

the first edition of the rituale romanum. As we know, it was the first time the Vatican put forth a single uniformed text on how to perform all the surgical related ceremonies and rituals, including the right of exorcism. 1704. The Vatican forbids the use of any text except the official right of exorcism to perform the ritual. This includes all the work done by revered exorcists from the previous three centuries, including a Franciscan friar

named Giorlamo Minghi. Minghi, who died in 1609, had contributed heavily to both the church's understanding of exorcism and the scholarly pursuit of demonology. His most famous work on exorcism was the Flegelum demonum, the Devil's Scourge. In 1576, which emphasized the profundity of the battle between good and evil and the fact that anyone, including holy persons, could become possessed. In his work, Menghi also drew heavily from European folkloric and magical traditions of the demonic and incorporated them into his Christian convictions.

Menghi's texts, as well as many others written by renowned exorcists, would end up added to the Vatican's index of prohibited books. However, in more remote areas of the colonized New World that Catholic missionaries were working in, the official right was largely ignored. Instead, the beliefs of the indigenous people and slaves of the areas merged with the mengi-style exorcisms. I've talked about this on scared to death, but not here, but I'm intrigued by how religions old and new and cultures all around the world. From the present day, going back to the beginning of the written, you know, word, and I have to imagine long before that, have their boogeyman, right?

Their demons, their monsters, their gin and devils makes the mystical side of me think, what if, what if, you know, these beliefs, you know, all are possibly at least somewhat based in something real. And I know there are plenty of explanations for these, you know, commonalities outside of the supernatural, but what if that innate fear of the other, fear of the boogeyman, of demons, of a danger lying just beyond our home or town, past the edge of the woods in the dark forest? What if it's not just based in our imaginations and primal fear of the unknown because real

things from the unknown would show up and kill us quite often in ancient times? What if it's based at least partially in some spooky supernatural shit? 1949, the demonic possession of a 13-year-old boy, sparks a new era of fascination with exorcisms in secular America. Although the story made national headlines, the true identity of the boy was concealed and he is only ever referred to by the pseudonyms of Robert Mannheim or Roland Doe. I told this story in a different way than I'll present the info here back in the fourth episode of Scared to Death, Making New Friends. The iconic 1973 horror film The Exorcist, inspired by the 1971 book of the same

name, that book inspired by this case of alleged demonic possession. While I won't give this abbreviated telling the full scared to death treatment, you'll have to go over there for that. Bringing back some of that creepy music from before is going to make it more entertaining. Growing up as an only child in the quiet town of Cottage City, Maryland, Robbie was a little bit of a loner. His favorite person to hang out with was his Aunt Harriet. Unlike his Lutheran parents, Robbie's aunt was a practicing spiritualist. She devoted a good deal of her time to communicating with the other side, and shared all she knew about Ouija boards and seances with her curious nephew. Robbie was immediately hooked. He

and his aunt would spend hours dabbling in the occult, and then roughly a year after all this dabbling began, Robbie's Aunt Harriet dies in early January of 1949, due to what is possibly cryptically been described as natural causes. Very soon after her death, demonic activity begins. Robbie's home was infested with the sounds of liquid dripping from the ceiling, scratching from inside the walls and against the floorboards, and heavy footsteps when no one was around to make them. Furniture moved in his presence. His bed was seen levitating while he slept in it by multiple witnesses, and at school,

additional multiple witnesses, classmates, watched his desk jolt and shake into the aisle without his feet ever touching the ground. All the while, Robbie continued to mess around with his Ouija board. He became obsessed with trying to contact his dead aunt. He also began to grow morose and withdrawn and soon his family sought help. After psychiatry proved unsuccessful in curing Robbie of his new condition, the family turned to Reverend Luther Schultz, the 43-year-old pastor of the St. Stephen's Evangelical Lutheran

Church. They were part of his congregation in Maryland. While visiting their home, Schultz later will claim he witnessed numerous untouched objects move in Robbie's presence. And he started organizing prayer circles around the boy, hoping the power of prayer would be enough to dispel whatever ills were afflicting him. However, he did not know how to perform an exorcism. The Lutheran faith does not validate the concept of the type of demonic possession that would

require an exorcism, and therefore they have no ritual or guidelines regarding how to confront it. At first Schultz believed Robbie was somehow manufacturing the phenomena himself. In attempting to catch him, he suggested Robbie spend a night at his house. That way the boy wouldn't be able to perform any of the tricks that he did in his own home. On February 17th, 1949, Robbie and Schultz each tucked themselves in to one of the twin four poster beds, sitting parallel to each other in the master bedroom. Throughout the night, the minister, who stayed awake, witnessed Robbie's bed shake in the armchair. He then sat in after leaving his bed move as though it was being dragged. Dazed and frightened, the minister decided that

the safest place for Robbie to sleep was the floor. But at 3 a.m. Scholl's witness Robbie in the blanket he was sleeping with slide as a single unit from the foot of the twin bed to underneath it. Terrified, Scholl stooped over the side of his bed and saw Robbie laying completely flat on his back and seemingly in a trance. Bouncing up and down, harshly against the hardwood floor and the exposed springs at the bottom of the mattress. Robbie did not flinch as his face was cut, sliced over and over by sharp metal. The next morning, Scholl's return, Robbie home defeated. As Robbie's parents remembered it, the last thing the minister said to them was, you have to see a Catholic priest. The Catholics know about things like this.

On February 26th, thin wounds like cat scratches began spontaneously appearing on Robbie's arms, legs, and chest. Desperate, the Mannheims, greatly worried about the health and well-being of their child, took Schultz's advice and sought a Catholic priest out. They found Father Albert Hughes to the nearby St. James Church.

Like the minister before him, what Hughes saw terrified him to the core. He even claimed Robbie spoke to him in Latin, a language he did not know, claiming to be the devil. Although he was not an ordained exorcist after informing the Archdiocese of the situation, Hughes was granted permission to perform an emergency exorcism on Robbie. All the while, Robbie's condition was worsening exponentially. From February 28th through March 2nd, Ravi was hospitalized at the Jesuit-run Georgetown University Georgetown Medical School complex in Washington, and there he underwent his first exorcism.

To protect his privacy, Ravi was admitted under a false name. To protect everyone around him, he was strapped down to his hospital bed. Attending nurses and physicians, so many witnesses reported Robbie speaking in tongues, tools and trays flying across the room, furniture moving in one instance. Robbie even demanded a doctor remove a cross necklace that was hidden under his surgical gown. When Hughes began speaking, the first prayer of exorcism, Robbie tactfully slid his hand from the leather restraints, removed a piece of loose mattress spring, and slashed the

priest's arm from shoulder to wrist. Hughes ended the exorcism there and went into hiding. Reportedly, he went on to suffer a complete mental breakdown. Back at home, the family now discussed seeking help in St. Louis, where they both had relatives. That night, the word Louis appeared brutally scratched onto Robbie's chest. Apparently with the demon on board, the family packed their things and headed for Missouri. In Missouri, the manhime stayed with another one of Robbie's aunts, and her and his uncle's house with her older cousin Elizabeth.

Worried for her cousin Elizabeth sought the help of one of her professors, Father Raymond Bishop. After much deliberation and consulting with higher ups, Bishop decided to go visit the boy. On Wednesday, March 9th, he arrived at the house to observe Robbie and offer blessings. From what he saw there, Bishop included Robbie with suffering from demonic obsession, not possession. However, he later retracted that claim. After seeing Robbie lay perfectly still, while his mattress

hovered in the air, moving ever so slightly from side to side. On March 10th, Bishop sought the help of a close friend and fellow priest, Father William Bodern. Three days later, the two priests returned to Robbie's house to speak with his family. While speaking with the boy's parents, aunt, uncle, and cousin in the living room, they were interrupted by a sudden burst of agonizing screams coming from upstairs. They found Robbie in his room, looking terrified, yet scratches covering both his forehands. On Wednesday, March 16, Father Boda received permission to perform the Rite of Exorcism over Robbie, with the

assistance of Father Bishop and 26-year-old Walter Holleran, who was not yet an ordained priest but practicing to become one. They began the ritual that evening. By the way, Father Bishop, what a confusing name for a priest. Makes you wonder if there are any father-popes out there. Anyway, here are a few excerpts from notes made by Bowden during the exorcism. In them, he uses R to refer to as Robbie. From Wednesday, March 16, he says, Marks were made of the boy's body more than 25 different times during the course of the

evening, each mark causing the boy to double up with pain. Friday, March 18, he wrote, The prayers of the exorcism were continued, and R, Robbie, was seized violently so that he began to struggle with his pillow and the bed clothing. The arm's legs and head of R had to be held by three men. The contortions revealed physical strength beyond the natural power of R. He spitted the relics and at the priest's hands. He writhed under the sprinkling of holy water. He fought and screamed in a diabolical high-pitched voice. He stood up in bed and fought all those around him. He shouted, jumped,

swung his fists. His face was devilish. He snapped his teeth in fury. He snapped at the priest's hand in the blessings. He bit those who held him. Then on Saturday, March 19th, R went to bed at 8 p.m. and the routine of the exorcism was begun again. Violent shouting with fiendish laughter were part of the phenomena. The shouting resembled the barking of a dog and the snapping of R's teeth was truly diabolical. It should be stated again that the violent reactions always followed upon the prayers of the exorcism. There had been no violence from the boy before the exorcism was begun on the night of March 16th. On March 21st, increasingly ill and violent, Ravi was taken to the nearby

Alexian Brothers Hospital, where he was locked in a room with no interior doorknob and bars on the windows. Ravi returned to his uncle's house the next day, but only stayed there for one night. Bodern had arranged for Ravi to have a room in his church's rectory, where the priest himself lived. On March 23rd, Ravi was brought to his room in the rectory, which had two beds so that his dad could stay with him. That evening, the exorcism resumed. This time, Bodern, Bishop, Halloran, and Ravi's dad were joined by Father William Van Roo. So many would have a hand in these exorcism rituals.

As part of his post-ordination, uh, Tertian ship, Van Roo had just been assigned to Bodern as a general assistant. Apparently, Bodern greeted the newcomer just a few days earlier-ordination, uh, tertianship, Van Rue had just been assigned to Boedern as a general assistant. Apparently Boedern greeted the newcomer just a few days earlier by telling him, Bill, I've got just the project for you. When the exorcists started reading the Litany of Saints, Robbie immediately began to kick, scream, and spit. It took Bishop, Halloran, Van Rue, and Robbie's dad, who was reluctant to do so, all holding him down to keep Robbie from hurting himself.

At one point, Robbie abruptly stopped his tantrum, looked wide-eyed at Halloran with a gentle smile and softly he asked, please let go of my arms. You're hurting me. Halloran refused and Robbie shut his eyes and immediately returned to violently thrashing and shrieking. Halloran held on tighter. Van Roo then said to him, this, there is no sense in having to hold his arms that hard.

You're only making him uncomfortable. Although Halloran disagreed, uh, as he had seen the demon set similar traps before, because Van Rue was a priest and therefore his superior, he let go of Robbie's arm, and in a split second with his eyes still closed, Robbie slammed his small fist directly upwards into Halloran's nose, then struck Van Rue precisely in the middle of his face. Although the priest knows only blood, Halloran's was broken. When Bodern began to say, I command the unclean spirit, Robbie started urinating, laughing in a low demonic howl, and a stench filled the room that was so vile, it nearly caused

the men present to vomit. Amidst his diabolical cackles, Robbie then began to shout, I am in hell, I am in hell. While sitting straight up in the bed, Robbie then slowly turned his head to face Bodern. His eyes were still closed, a massive grin plastered across his face. He said to the exorcist, I am in hell, I see you, I see you, you're in hell. It's 1957. Agonizing, scared, the father paused. This was the first time that Bodern reacted in any way to the things that the demon said

or did. Something terrible, terrible. Clearly it happened to him in 1957. He didn't want to think or talk about it. Something he knew Robbie shouldn't have been able to know. Robbie was also recorded as sane and or writing the following during his exorcisms. You addressing the priests, have big pricks and you like to rub them up and down. Dead Bishop.

Robert will suffer forever. I am the devil himself. Go to hell you sons of bitches. God damn you sons of bitches. Stick it up your ass, Refrigerator Crucifix. And you will die tonight. You will die tonight. You will die tonight." Although some progress had been made in vexing the demon, it was decided by the exorcism team that Robbie would have a better chance of being liberated if he converted to Catholicism. Robbie's parents had previously been planning for him to get confirmed in

their Lutheran church, but told their son religion was his own choice. He chose to convert. April 1st, 1949, Ravi was baptized, but not without a fight. As soon as he was placed in the car that would take him to the church, he immediately became violent and hostile, even going so far as yanking on the steering wheel after wriggling free from his dad's grasp. Excuse me, the actual baptism took a very long time because Robbie repeatedly fell into seizures and trances where he would spout the same insults and blasphemy that he had been doing for the last couple months. One particularly difficult roadblock was when the priest asked, does thou renounce Satan?

And the boy launched into another violent rampage. Eventually, Robbie was lucid for enough small increments of time to answer questions required of him and was officially baptized. Next day, April 2, Robbie makes his first Holy Communion with just as much struggle. The exorcism lasted another 16 days, during which Robbie continued to exhibit unnatural strength during his violent outbursts, such as scratching, biting, kicking and punching, slapping, throwing glass items at people's heads. Words continued to appear in his skin as if burned or carved into his skin.

In moments of lucidity, Robbie also complained about the men down there, how they harassed him, as well as the unbearable pain he felt all over his body, particularly in his penis. During this period, the threats made by the demon became more alarming. By April 17th, he was no longer simply promising that those around him would all end up in hell. He was now threatening to send them there by killing them with a knife. Many sources guess the demon increased the severity of his threats at a desperation, although Ravi was still being tormented, it was clear that the demon's hold on the boy

was weakening. The Exorcism team started identifying signs of deliverance, such as being able to recite more of his prayers without succumbing to a fit of violence or agony, and his physical health occasionally in short increments returning to a semi-normal state. Robbie started to ask for things like water and food to call his mom that he missed. On April 18, Robbie asked to borrow a Catholic book of poetry, the kind that three months prior he would have immediately destroyed or desecrated. Instead, as Baudurne describes, our thumb threw several stories as he sat in bed.

Finally in a boyish way, he took to balancing the book on his knees and on his head. Unfortunately, the spell of normalcy was then broken, while attempting to balance the book on his head, his eyes suddenly shut and he went completely stiff. The book then flew violently across the room without his arms touching it and thumbed against the wall. Robbie again went into a fit of seizures. That evening, Baudin resolved to try something new. Instead of speaking in his usual authoritative voice, he took on a quiet stern tone while performing the exorcism. Throughout the night, Robbie's violin outburst and freakish feats of strength, his vulgar tirades and the wounds that appeared all over his body, the supernatural movement of inanimate objects around the room, and the murderous prophecies he declared, all

were as profound in dire as they'd ever been. But this time, whenever he came to, Robbie did weekly attempt to pray the rosary. Throughout the rite, the exorcist maintained he composed, you know, his composed tone of voice, excuse me, while Robbie wailed and screamed in agony, his body contorting in unnatural ways. When Baudurne spoke, the last amen of the ritual, dead silence enveloped the room at that moment, a powerful, distinct voice reportedly erupted from Robbie, who was lying limp on the bed. And the voice said, Satan! Satan! I am Saint Michael, and I command you, Satan! And the other evil spirits to leave the body in the name of Dominus immediately, now, now, now!

What followed is what Bodern described as, quote, the most violent contortions of the entire period of Exorcism. Then after this big, demonic crescendo, it was over. The Exorcism was complete and the demon was sent back to hell. Intense shit, right? I mean, if true, imagine how seeing all that might change your perspective on the nature of the universe. Or, you know, strongly reconfirm what you already believe.

August 20, 1949, The Washington Post publishes an article titled, Priest-Freeze Mount Rainier Boy Reportedly Held in Devil's Grip by Journalist Bill Brinkley. Despite the priest's attempt to keep the case under wraps, news quickly got out about Robbie's miraculous possession and headlines like this splattered on front pages across the country. It was this particular article that William Peter Blatty read as a student at Georgetown University and later it would inspire him to write the Exorcist. Also, I should note here, there have been plenty of skeptics who think this is all bullshit, right? That the kid faked it all, that William Peter Blatty embellished a lot of details about us, that some of the priests lied, you know, on and on and on. Who knows? It's a he said, she said, maybe a demon said.

1971, William Peter Blatty publishes The Exorcist. He based it on Robbie's Exorcism, but changed the gender of the possessed kid to a little girl. Upon release, the book was massively controversial, as well as super successful. Spent 57 weeks on the New York Times bestsellers list, 17 of which it was consecutively at number one, good money, and well-told demon tales. 1973, the Exorcist, directed by William Friedkin, hits theaters. Like the book it was based on, the movie sparks both outrage and adoration from viewers across the world.

Although most churchgoers that were outspoken about the film detested it, there were a few members of the clergy that praised and or promoted the movie because of the way it spoke to the fight between good and evil, as well as the urgency of the fight. According to a 2012 interview with Friedkin, after the movie was released, he received multiple calls from higher-ups in the church accrediting the film for a spike in priests and nun applicants. That's wild. Two clergymen who were not big fans of it,

however, were Father Boedern and Father Halloran, who saw the movie in theaters. According to Halloran, I don't know exactly how to pronounce his name, his fellow exorcist did tell him on the way out, however, there is a good message that can be given by this thing. That evil spirits operate in our world. Jumping to 1986 now. Father Russell Crowe, I mean, Father Gabrielia Morth is appointed to the office of exorcist in the Diocese of Rome by the Pope's vicar, Cardinal Hugo Poletti Maserare No Quirinceladas Pegueros Estar Antonio Banderas. Sorry, sometimes that makes up my languages now.

It's confusing to be so perfectly trilingual. Uh, his name was Cardinal Hugo Palletti. Amorus claimed to have performed between 70,000 and 160,000 exorcisms during his career in the Vatican. If you're bumping on that number, yeah, me too. However, only a hundred of these were cases of genuine possession. He said they required a major exorcism, right? A lot of the rest is like a minute here, a minute there. He comments on this ratio in his book and exorcist tells his story, quoting famous French exorcist Father

Tonkadek who said, There are a vast number of unhappy souls who, while not so in science of demonic possession, turn to the exorcists to be relieved of their sufferings, such as stubborn illnesses, adversities, all sorts of misfortunes. Those possessed by the devil are few, but these unhappy souls are legion." I like that quote. Sad, but profound. The exorcist was fervently outspoken about the devil and the danger he possesses, which both benefited the church as it legitimized their practices. If the devil's real, that means so is God.

But he also caused quite a few controversies in his time. For example, in 1986, Amorith commented on a statistic that 80% of the exorcisms performed in Rome each week were on women, saying that was because women are, quote, more vulnerable because they are the ones who mostly go to see clairvoyance, mediums, card readers, attend seances, and belong to satanic sex. It could be that the devil wants to use them to get it men like Eve did to Adam. That's it! I have to submit my wife Lindsay before a crystal bullshit and fess our entire house with demons! I'm probably gonna have to tire to the bed when I get home. Probably naked, you know? I might

need to get naked as well. And then, you know, when it comes to the exorcism ritual, I'll probably just wing it, you know, maybe draw a cross on my penis and see how she responds to that, then wash it off, draw a pentagram on my wiener, see how she responds to that. I'll stop. 1994, the International Association of Exorcists is established in Rome by six priests, including Father Amorth. The exorcists, as stated, had started, excuse me, meeting unofficially in the early 1980s, didn't formalize their association until 94. January 26, 1999, with the approval of Pope John Paul II, the Vatican Congregation for Divine Worship, publishes an updated version of the Rite of Exorcism, called, what I said earlier, de exorcisme.

De exorcism, exorcism is, it's a supplicanis in the bus, quizbustustam of exorcisms and certain supplications. The new edition created a stronger link between baptism and exorcism and placed more emphasis on the need for a proper medical examination before one gets authorized to receive an exorcism. June 13, 2014, the Holy See officially recognizes the International Association of Exorcists as a private association of the church. The organization currently has a public website, AIE, international.org, where you can read about their history, their admission statement, recent testimonies from exorcists

and persons who have been possessed, as well as purchase books they've published and even keep up with latest news. At the time this episode was being written, one of the most recent articles on the site was titled, Hell Has Never Been As Accessible as It Is Today, written by a 20-year-old Tuscan girl. In it, the anonymous girl writes about how the insidious environment adolescents grow

up in today and the bounds the prince of evil is weaving between his kingdom and the young souls are pretty scary. September 25th through September 30th, 2023, the 14th International Conference of the International Association of Exorcists took place near Rome, Rome, according to the press release, 203 exorcists and 100 assistants attended from all around the world. Some of the topics presented during the conference were whether or not it is biblically permissible for non-exorcists to command demons, the importance of collaboration with doctors for discerning between possession and mental illness, and the overlap between the

Ministry of Exorcism and anti-cult efforts. Finally, jump it up to today. According to many church sources in 2024, demonic possession and demand for exorcism is on the rise. The increase has been growing steadily for the last two decades, prompting a response on multiple occasions from Pope Francis. While the Church is ordaining more and more exorcists to combat the devil and his demons, they don't do this because they think they can stop demonic possession. They just want to help more people who they believe suffer from it. As one priest told Vatican News, the fight against the evil one started at the origin of the world and is destined to last until the origin of the world and is destined to last until

the end of the world. Before I share some final thoughts, I have a sponsor I need to squeeze in here real quick. Another one, if you want to skip ahead, just do. This sponsor sucks. You pay us quite a bit of money, which is odd because it seems like you need quite a bit of money and that's why you got this commercial, but it sucks, not a good way. And I certainly would never ever hire him. Hello.

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Again, I will say that the existence of demons, you know, has obviously never been proven scientifically. No one's recorded in a laboratory, you know, setting, like, you know, there's no way this film could have been doctored kind of way. Somebody's limbs contorting unnaturally or somebody levitating or someone suddenly being able to read the minds and memory banks of the people around them Or possess superhuman strength and suddenly fluently speak several languages that never been spoken before But also so many people have claimed to see so much crazy shit in this regard I say this all the time. I'm scared of death

Are all of them lying? Or hallucinating? Or misremembering? Imagining every single one in all of human history? All we need to believe in the existence of something paranormal in this space is for just one single story to be true. Just one person to have ever been possessed by a sentient entity that doesn't actually have a physical body at least not in this plane of existence. I personally hope demons are real. I really do. And I know that's some weird shit to say, but I do hope so.

The world is already pretty damn interesting. It's already amazing. But with demons, now it's magical. And if demons are real, you know what else is real? Angelic beings? Who the fuck knows? I'm not going to go full Chad Daybell. These thoughts create some kind of demon zombie lightworker scale. is real. Angelic Beans? Who the fuck knows? I'm not gonna go full Chad Daybell. They

start to create some kind of demon zombie lightworker scale. I just want to believe that something magical is out there. Something that will make every horror movie you watch a little scarier and every death of a loved one a little less sad because you know there's truly a good chance that their consciousness could live on because now anything's possible. At the very least pretty fascinating to think about how many people claim to have witnessed something demonic or have been afflicted or possessed. Interested to think about people like Father Amorth who have dedicated most of their lives to literally battling demons.

Father Amorth died in Rome at the age of 91 in 2016 and he was either a con man, easily deluded, mentally ill, or a guy who occasionally actually exercised demons. He did once explain to an interviewer that he would never perform an exorcism based solely on someone's claims of possession, that he always directed people to psychiatrists and doctors first. That's pretty cool. He also said that reading Harry Potter literally leads one into evil, which is weird. I can speculate about all this for another hour. I still don't arrive at a concrete answer with stuff like this. I'll have to see it, you know, to truly believe it. And if I do see it, uh, man, I hope I'm not the one possessed.

Or there's not, you know, somebody in my family. If you get possessed, that might be pretty, pretty cool. If you listen, go get possessed, chew me an email, and I'll try and make it to your exorcism. I'll, I'll be in your prayer party, right? I'll be there to watch, deal? Okay, cool, thanks. Let's head to today's takeaways.

Time suck, tough five takeaways. And number one, there are two forms of exorcism in the Catholic Church, major and minor. Minor exorcisms are used regularly to ward off a weakened demonic influence in a person's life. Major exorcisms, extremely rare, only using cases of proven demonic possession. At least proven in the eyes of the clergy.

Only an ordained exorcist is permitted to perform a major exorcism. Number two, the Catholic Church says that there are four main reasons that people get possessed slash become victims of extraordinary satanic activity. One, God is allowing them to, uh, just as he, uh, allows, you know, ordinary satanic activity, uh, they have been cursed by a sorcerer.

Two, three, they've been, uh, fucking around with satanic things like Ouija boards, yoga crystals, tarot, and four, they sold their soul to Satan. Um, yeah. Sorry. I, yeah, I think I messed up a word in number one. God is allowing them to, you know, become victims just as he allows ordinary satanic activity. I just want to make that clear. Number three, the first official instructions for the right of exorcism were published by the church way back in 1614. The ritual went unchanged until 1999,

when it was completely revised by the Vatican. The new version of the ritual, shorter than the first, places more emphasis on identifying the difference between demonic activity and mental illness, and now includes an appendix of exorcism prayers in the back for members of the faithful to use in the privacy of their own homes and lives. Number four, exorcism has been around a long time.

Religious leaders in ancient Mesopotamia conducted their own versions of exorcisms and Jewish people were performing them way before Jesus ever proclaimed, Come out of the man, you unclean spirit! And number five, new info. In 2021, the magazine, The Skeptical Inquirer, revealed the identity of Robbie Mannheim, the boy who was possessed in 1949, and inspired the exorcist.

His real name was Ronald Hunkler. He was born June 1, 1935, died a month before his 86th birthday, May 10, 2020. For the remainder of his life, after the demonic possession experience, Hunkler kept his past completely hidden and, according to multiple sources, lived in fear of being found out as the haunted boy from Maryland. He continued living in his home state of Maryland until his death and from the early 1960s all the way to 2001 worked as an engineer at NASA, even patenting tech that helped shuttle panels withstand extreme levels of heat.

Doesn't sound like the kind of person who made it all up. Doesn't mean he didn't make it all up. But doesn't sound like somebody who did. Could the devil and demons, or some type of paranormal and malevolent form of spiritual entity actually be real. Time Sucked! Tough Five Takeaways! A history of exorcisms, how to rid yourself of demons has been sucked.

Thank you to the Bad Magic Productions team for all the help in making Time Sucked. Thanks to Queen of Bad Magic, Lindsay Cummins, Home Boss, Party Planner. Thanks to the Art Warlock, Logan Keith for recording today's episode. Thanks to Logan again for creating the merch at badmagicproductions.com. You can also link to it through badmagicmerch.com still. Thank you to Mollye Jean Box for the initial research. And thanks to the all-seen eyes moderating the closely curious private Facebook page, the Mod Squad, making sure Discord keeps running smooth and everyone over on the Time Suck subreddit and Bad Magic subreddit.

So many fantastic sacks doing so much within this community. making sure Discord keeps running smooth and everyone over on the Time Suck subreddit and Bad Magic subreddit. So many fantastic sacks doing so much within this community. And now, let's head on over to this week's Time Sucker Updates. Time Sucker Updates? Get your Time Sucker Updates! Complete and Total Maniac, Chris Williams. Fart Survivor Sack. Complete and Total Maniac Chris Williams fart survivor sack right stand with the stinky but also sweet message you'll see I mean Daniel there's no fucking way I apologize for the length of his email and I give you three out of five

stars this is the celebration of a hero the poodpiper I consider myself a highly educated man you add up all the years I went to school who else could repeat eighth grade thrice and senior year a couple of times? You are flatulent tale of the silenzio lady. Oh got me. I had to rewind twice to catch it you fibbing fucker I was so excited I was so excited to hear of another lady person having an issue with the breeze between the knees My mother was known for her raucous bronx cheers. We called her We called her the war potato. Because she would sit on the plastic covered sofa watching Xena warrior princess and barking orders at her reluctant brood.

We all know the slight lean a person does before they execute their quote raspberry beret. The foisting of the prominent cheek foisting up of the prominent cheek, the uncurled lip with the grimace of the cheek, art. My mother, she would announce the incoming quote, bunny hunt, by executing a shoulder dip from her sitting position, asked just to skew on the plastic, like, like lips on a flute, and exhale loudly as she expelled her quote, Pillsbury dough biscuits. They never stank. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha would guess what each batch of butt dust was saying. Each mouse on the Play-Doh exhibited the tones of speech.

One, the Crescendo of a question. Two, the Trivial Statement. And three, the Dreaded Explanation Point. Here are the popular balloon knot statements. We remember to this day, one, dog died like a furr. Two, hmm, that's a long hallway. Squish flat. Three, disease, like a door the dad of a teenage girl slams so hard it does not shut.

I had a last wish, a final wish. If you read this email, please shout out my siblings, Carrie, Josh, Amy, Abby and Mandy. It would make our year as we prepare for our mother's memorial in the spring by vlogging us all taken abide of a Wendy's Baconator with all who loved and endured her with t-shirts. The world was her ashtray. Yours in ass. Oldest bro Chris. P.S. I have inherited some of her orifice acumen.

Only all my rim shots say keep on on sucking. Hard slap, burning refrain, and it'd be woldering an enduring lip clap. My God, Chris, that email was art. I laughed so hard when I first read all that. Your mom sounds like she was funny as hell. I love that you and your siblings made your mom's farts into a fucking game. Bunny Hunt, Pillsbury Doe Biscuits, Carrie, Josh, Amy, Abby, and Mandy. What a fun family you have. May your mom rest in peace. I hope she's up in some type of heaven somewhere,

just farting her funny ass off on a plastic couch. Hail Nimrod, you beautiful weirdos. Next up, Elderly Protecting Super Sucker, Becca, last name redacted. Writes in regarding last week's Lady of Silence episode. I guess it was two weeks ago. Excuse me. As you hear this greetings, Lord and savior, suck master. You can call me Becca, no last name for professional reasons.

I'm a long time listener, first time writer and elder abuse investigator. That's so cool. The lady of silence suck was definitely a hard one for me to listen to and I'll give you some background as to why and then I want to tell you about some funny moments in my career. I Graduated college with the BS in criminal justice after school

I worked as a case manager for a residential treatment program for Cys and then I worked for a program called family finding Essentially, I got paid to Facebook stock people and build family trees for families in the system I burned out and left the world of CysS and moved on to the next vulnerable demographic, the elderly. I started working as an older adult protective service worker a few years ago. I investigate physical, emotional and sexual abuse. I mean, I'm so sad, uh, as well as reports of neglect and financial exploitation. Uh, I've seen some shit literally and figuratively and I've been through some shit literally, literally and figuratively. I've helped people escape from their abusive homes

in brief windows of opportunity when their abuser was out of my house. I've traced scammers to the best of my ability. I've gone toe to toe with hospitals advocating for my people. I've assisted with guardianships. I work in tandem with local and state law enforcement agencies. I've even helped state police work a missing persons case.

Most importantly, I've seen so, so, so many naked, elderly people. I've always had a dark and morbid sense of humor. And I credit that for keeping me as sane as my brain will allow. So let me give you some examples of when I found humor in this job. One, I love the pleasantly demented.

You know who I'm talking about. The older adults with dementia, Alzheimer's, TBI, et cetera, who are just happy to be here. I'm not a medical professional. I can't diagnose, but I can perform some cognitive evaluations to determine if I'm going to allow someone to sign documents and to have an idea about the direction the interview is going in. One question that I asked 99% of the time is, who is the current president of the United States? I recently had an older adult answer that question with, quote, the Jewish one.

They then proceed to add, but I know for certain the Queen of England, but I know for certain the Queen of England is Elizabeth. Now I had this interaction a couple of months ago. I didn't have the heart to break it to them. They were just way too excited about Queen Elizabeth. Two, romance scams are so fucking abundant. I had a case back in the fall where the older adult believed themselves to be in a romantic relationship with retired US Army general Austin Miller, a man whose image and name is infamously known to be used in

romance scams. In fact, there are dozens of Facebook groups dedicated to exposing General Austin Miller Catfish. Why is this hilarious? Because old people will never get the hang of social media. These groups are of course public and honestly I can't believe this entertainment is free. These groups are pretty good. 50-50 split between people currently enthralled in the scam and those who

are spreading awareness of the scam. It's almost a cage match between people defending their love and others basically ask them why they're so gullible. Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Cat Lady Carol versus Bible study barb in the comment section. Who will take home the championship belt? Lonely love struck Carol or recently catfish by Nigerian Barb. We'll sell home the championship belt? Lonely, love-struck, Carol, or recently catfished by a Nigerian Barb? We'll sell you the whole seat, but you'll only need the edge.

That's awesome. Three, every time I go on vacation, my cases go off the rails. The day before I went on vacation, I had attempted to file a 302 in voluntary psychiatric hold on an older adult presenting significant harm to themselves and others. They were taken to the hospital and I had requested

a urine test because I believed they had a UTI that was exasperating the mental health concerns. I was immediately put on the ER social workers shit list, spent the rest of the day being berated and insulted for forcing this poor little older adult into the hospital. Turns out the 302 was denied and they were discharged without doing a single test. I'm literally six hours into my vacation the next day when I get a call from my supervisor telling me that this older adult ran their adult child over with their car immediately after being discharged. The adult child was injured but recovered. They sent the older adult back to the hospital and that psych hold was promptly granted and

guess what? They had a UTI. I was very smug with the hospital social workers when I returned from vacation and relished in their embarrassment. I don't know, meet sacks, just do your jobs and I won't have to laugh at you being humbled by your own negligence. There are other fun stories like the time I had a gun trained on me, almost being beaten with a cane after serving in court order, and the time I argued on behalf of my older adult with a high ranking state police officer in the middle of an emergency room. Maybe I'll write again someday with those stories. On a more serious note, while I find humor, I also acknowledge that my job is dangerous. I don't have a service weapon. My On a more serious note, while I find humor, I also acknowledge that my job is dangerous. I don't have a service weapon.

My only defense is my wit, instincts, clipboard, and pen. Your podcast is a testament to how depraved and violent the world can be. Every week I tune in, learn, and apply. Before I go out to a home, I'll look it up on Google Earth, figure out at least a couple ways to escape the property either on foot or in my car. I email my entire agency when I leave for a visit and where I'm going so someone can

check on me. Whenever I get a gut feeling I listen and I get the fuck out by making an excuse about running late for another meeting. I've had state and local police accompany me on visits for my safety. I just want you to know that I'm laughing but I'm safe while I'm doing it. Just as a rule of thumb meets acts, remember that people have done a lot more for a lot less so watch your back. I hope you had a good laugh and if you don't read this during time sucker updates, that's okay

But it'll be super cool if you do. I've lost my last marble Becca PS wake up. There's a gas leak Becca oh my god. I love you. You are so funny You're doing good shit and you don't take any shit you hate incompetence and others you also clearly care so much about your clients I love hearing from awesome people like yourself. And I'm glad you're being careful. Yeah. It's fucking real psychos in the world like Carl Watts and Wannabaraza. People who just kill you just for the fuck of it. It's because you remind them of somebody or just because they're fucking crazy shit.

Stay safe. And I hope to hear from you again. And now maggot meets sack Jeff. Last name redacted. Wants to teach us a thing or two about maggots. How's it good for us? He writes, Hey Dan, or whichever team member decided to click on that subject line, I've been listening to Time Sucks to 2019, when I had a job on a golf course in mode for 8 hours a day. Eventually, music got boring, so I started looking for a podcast, found your Russian

sleep experiment episode, and I've been hooked ever since. Thank you. Anyways, this is the first time I've sent anything in since I've had nothing interesting to say until now. Did you know that adding maggots to an infected wound and bandaging that area to keep them in can save your life? On the Hugh Glass episode, yeah, that short suck, you mentioned that when the Sioux Indians found him, they helped nurse him back to health, which involved removing maggots from his bare wounds. This sounds like the most putrid shit, and it actually might be, but there's a major benefit. There's a technique called maggot therapy, which involves letting maggots into a large

wound since they will only target and eat dead tissue. This was first documented by doctors in Napoleon's army, who noticed that soldiers with maggot-infested injuries were living longer than soldiers with similar injuries which were already cleaned. Since the rotting flesh was completely eaten away, the infection spread much more slowly, and swelling was seen to decrease. I wonder if this was something taught to Hugh whenever he lived with the Indians and he intentionally kept the maggots in.

The most fascinating part to me is that this isn't just some sort of old remedy. This practice can be so effective that it's still used in some situations today. On a totally different note, if you slow your podcast down to.5 speed, you sound absolutely hammered. Sometimes my employees and I slow down your podcast down to.5 speed, you sound absolutely hammered. Sometimes my employees and I slow down your podcast to hear you stumble through the details of a murder and laugh our asses off. Also, I really enjoy the new short sucks, but can't believe you didn't go with Quicky Quickies for the name, just adding some fuel to your dirty dirty mind for shame.

If in the chance you add this to your Time Sucker updates, it would be awesome if you could give a shout out to my buddy Cooper, who falls asleep to time suck. My buddy Tyler, who listens with me at work and my fiance Brooklyn, who's 21st birthday is tomorrow. Jeff. Jeff, man, thanks for sharing that info, dude. I appreciate it. Had no idea. Maggots were so helpful.

I always just thought they were pretty fucking disgusting. Cooper, what strange dreams you must have. Hope they're not like Carl Watts dreams. Tyler, thanks for joining in with Jeff, enjoying these weird tales of work. And Hail Lucifina Brooklyn. I've always loved that name. Hope you and Jeff are enjoying being engaged at such a special time. And finally, last message, a firefighting sack Bryson J. Breedlove wants to get pooped on. He loves it.

Loves to get pooped on. Bryson J. Breedlove is a poop lover. I'll let him explain. He writes, we'll find out what he's up to. He loves it. He loves to get pooped on. Bryson J. Breedlove is a poop lover. I'll let him explain. He writes, Well fuck me, meat sack on high. I was in the midst of my 72 hour shift.

I'm a firefighter slash paramedic in California. I just happened to be re-listing the Jeffrey Lundgren series when my captain asked me if I wanted to lead a workout. I paused your wonderful podcast, headed over to the workout room, where five other fellow firefighters were awaiting me. Without even thinking about it, I hooked up my phone to the speaker and pressed play. Much to my, my fellow firefighters' shock, we were not met with any sort of metal music. Instead, we were met with the dulcet tones of you, Dan Cummins, crooning to us with the words, I do you want to get pooped on. I do you want to get pooped on. I do you want to get pooped on.

I nearly pooped on my own self and quickly turned my phone off. Needless to say, I had so many, needless to say, I had many questions to answer, and none of which were answered. By fast forwarding to the episode to show everyone it was just a podcast. Fuck my life and fuck you. JK, I love you. 3 out of 5 experience, respectfully.

Bryson, J, Breedlove, Firefighter slash Paramedic. I love it Bryson. Whatever music I found online to sing that little stupid jingle too, Bryson J. Breedlove, Firefighter slash Paramedic. I love it Bryson. Whatever music I found online to sing that little stupid jingle to is weirdly catchy. I also sometimes have that pop into my head. And I don't, even I don't want to get pooped on, but I will sing sometimes. Do you want to get pooped on? Do you want to get pooped on?

Thanks for doing what you do. Keep saving lives and try not to get pooped on. Thank you for listening to another Bad Magic Productions podcast, Scared to Death, Time Suck Each Week. Short sucks at nightmare fuel on the Time Suck and Scared to the Feeds some weeks. Try not to get possessed by any demons this week. Don't enroll in any satanic schools. Take it easy on Harry Potter and keep on sucking. And magic productions.

Hi everyone, it's me, Nadeeman Carl Watt. The artist formerly known as the Sunday Morning Slasher, former client of Ron Kaplerfitts. I hope you enjoyed today's show. I certainly did. My favorite part was when the boy was tormented by the demon. I also greatly enjoyed watching the pulps exercise with Russell Crow. Everything was good except the ending. I was rooting for the demons. Anyway, I hope you see me soon. I want to see want to see your eyes your evil eyes and I want to close them And grab your Ouija board and hit me up if you want to talk and play

And let me make you into a beautiful butterfly Okay, I think that was enough creepy shit for today.