Timesuck with Dan Cummins - 4 - Sociopaths and Psychopaths

Episode Date: October 10, 2016

What is a sociopath? What's a psychopath? Do you know one? Are you one? Dan breaks down the clinical definition of both and defines them in his own terms as well before nervously taking both a sociopath and a psychopath test himself. Take the tests with him and join Dan in this mentally ill edition of Timesuck! http://illnessquiz.com/sociopath-test/  http://vistriai.com/psychopathtest/

The fourth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders or DSM4 defines sociopath as an anti-social personality disorder characterized by a lack of regard for the moral or legal standards in the local culture. There is a market inability to get along with others or abide by societal rules. Individuals with this disorder are sometimes called psychopaths or sociopaths. That came out in 1994. In 2013, the brand spanking new fifth edition of the DSM, the go-to guide for diagnosing mental illnesses, puts the term sociopath under the umbrella term antisocial personality disorder,

with diagnoses assigned to individuals who habitually violate the rights of others without remorse. I define sociopath right now in this moment as one of those just creepy bastards you meet from time to time, who have that little glint in their eye, that little glint in their eye, that when you see it, like you just kind of know in your gut

on like an id instinctive animal level, you know they would fucking stab you in your sleep if they knew that they wouldn't get caught and had something significant to gain by doing so. The last kind of person you'd want to be lost out in the woods with. Basically, someone who truly does not give a single fuck about anyone but themselves. So get ready to go full-s-social path on this uncaring, emotionalist and pathological edition of TimeSug. All right, now I've always been fasting with the social best.

I was a psych major in college, I graduated with a little psych degree. Just a bachelor's, nothing marketable, nothing you can make money on. But I was just fascinated with, you know, social path, psychopaths. But basically, I feel like I'm always thought of as people with no conscience. You know, people who just essentially just didn't feel guilt

about, you know, whatever they did. And just such a crazy way to live. And I definitely feel like I've known some, if I've known some comics who are like this, you know, it's like, I've done bad things, you know, I've done things I'm not proud of. You know, like one of the things that I, like I bring to myself the most shame

is in one relationship, you know, this girl I was dating, I cheated on her several times and then just kind of, ah, you just, I just feel like I cheated on her several times and then just kind of, I just feel like I could dick to this day. And when I was younger, I'll give him this a little bit later by stole stuff for a while. And I just, I feel guilt over all of that still. And I feel a lot of guilt when I did it.

And I feel like basically a sociopath is somebody who can do those things and they don't want to get caught Like they don't want to get in trouble, but they don't feel bad They don't lay in bed at night and just be like oh such a piece of shit Like god, I suck as a human being You know that that sinking feeling of oh my god, what if I hurt somebody, you know What is this store owner? Really, you know, I really hurt his profit is gonna help him go to business

What if this you know this poor girl, I'm messing up her vision of men and setting such a bad example and you know, have to be accountable to my own kids someday about the actions I've taken. You know, that kind of stuff haunts me. But some people are just like, man, whatever, I can guard by a damn dude. Hey man, you know, this is actually in the past bro,

you know, whatever advance, and fucking doggy dog world, you know, you just gotta get your It's actually for some people's we're gonna find out a little bit on this episode You know helps them be very successful because they're able to just climb and just step on people and just whatever You know, they deserve it for being weak. Who cares? It's all about me me You know has a lot of elements of narcissism. But that's all just me talking out my B hole. Let's get into some actual, what if I actually literally was doing that? That would be an impressive feat. What if up until now on this podcast,

I was literally, I had the mic up to my butt and my mouth shut. He's a wizard. So anyway, social path further defined in the DSM-5. Ah, crap, let's remember I sing to myself, I'm an idiot. I'm like a fucking stupid and 10 year old most of the time. Okay, so social path further defined from the DSM-5 failure to obey laws, norms and norms by engaging in behavior which results in criminal arrest or would warrant criminal arrest, lying deception manipulation

for profit or self-immusement, impulsive behavior, irritability and aggression, manifested as frequently as assaults on others, engages in fighting, blatantly disregards safety of self and others. I would think most of the others, but hey, I'm not gonna put words in there in their book. A pattern of irresponsibility, a lack of remorse for actions to go even further. The DSM-5 individuals with anti-social personality disorder, so sociopath, slash psychopath, tend to be charismatic, attractive,

very good at obtaining sympathy from others. That's weird that they would throw an attractive You know like like that's the one That's the one benefit of being like super ugly is that you you have a smaller odds of becoming a sociopath Maybe because it doesn't work Well for you because like if you're ugly people won't put up with that lack of remorse as much as like a like people like do do put up a lot with a hot chick I'm like, god, she's such a bitch. Whatever, man, she's so selfish, but she's so hot

that I just wanna sleep with her, so whatever. In vice versa, I think women, you don't hear about it as much, but we do that with the guy, they just think he's like, or if he's like a good earner, and he's very attractive, and they'll rationalize itself as well. But if you're ugly, you gotta be friendly.

Okay, if you wanna get ahead of life, have you ever heard of that song? Ugly people, you gotta be friendly if you wanna get ahead. That was the Aario Speedwagon song, I think 82. It was never released or written. But, okay, so to go back into this, study suggests the average intelligence of antisocials higher than the norm, this has been disputed, antisocials possess a superficial charm.

Have an intuitive ability to rapidly observe and analyze others' determined their needs and preferences, present it in a manner to facilitate manipulation and exploitation. They're able to harm and use other people in this manner without remorse, guilt, shame, regret. Widely stated, the anti-socials are without empathy. However, this can be disputed as sadistic anti-socials. We'll use empathy to experience their victim suffering and derive fuller pleasure from it, which I don't know how that's not empathy.

Like if you're just trying to like feel bad, be like, what empathize? Cause you want to like psychic vampire suck up their pain. But for your pleasure, I don't know, I don't feel like empathy to me. Um, yeah, yeah, so just very like so that analyzing thing, man, I've noticed that with people that I've in my past thought to be sociopaths, hang around where they just like really watch, observe. They're just like studying humans, but almost like in an alien kind of way.

Like since they don't instinctively know how to be a good person, it's like they're just watching and like, oh, that's interesting. That mother seems to be sincerely hugging their child. So that's what love looks like. Do okay, make a note of that. So that's what love looks like. Do okay. Make a note of that. So I can pretend to do that.

Really weird. But yeah, I have gotten vibes from people who are like, man, you're just not right. You, you, again, you would stab me in the woods if you thought you would never get caught and didn't like you get some money or something out of the deal. Okay, so prevalence. Let's talk about that.

So how common is this? According to the DSM-5, the prevalence of anti-social personalities order is 0.02%, 2, 3.3%. But when the criteria from prior DSM additions are applied, this is from the American Psychiatric Association, the little APA 2013. It says somewhere between little less than one

and a little over 3% of people are sociopaths. That doesn't sound like a lot at first, but that's actually pretty common. A little over three, let's say it's on the high end, so a little over three out of 100 is roughly one in 30. Odds are, you know, 30 people. And statistically, one of them would be a sociopath. Or based on some other things,

I'm not gonna cite the statistics from, but things that I read of a variety of articles talked about like incarcerated felons, there's a much higher percentage of sociopaths there. So if you're listening to this podcast in prison, you know, I don't know if that's a thing. If you are, God bless you. You know what, I'm not gonna,

I'm not gonna fucking turn away prisoners from putting this fun into your ear holes. Mm-mm. You probably know a lot of social paths though. Probably a good chance maybe you are one. Now this is a scary thing I did not know. I'm fascinated by this. So that's the prevalence.

Now let's talk about treatment. I had this surprised me. I thought it was treatable, possibly. I don't know why I thought that, or maybe I just hadn't really thought about it, I guess. If it was treatable or not, I guess I'd assume that most disorders are treatable, like schizophrenia, you know, you can give medicine for it,

or whatever, but the consensus is, according to the DSM-5 again, which is the Bible of psychology, there is very little in the way of effective treatment for anti-social personality disorders, as individuals with APD may have to be contained by the, this is a quote, contained by the criminal justice system through some combination of incapacitation, incarceration or supervision and monitoring, you know, like parole, probation, house arrest,

informal monitoring by local law enforcement to contain their harmful behaviors to others, to the greatest extent possible. And incarceration may not be a deterrent to the anti-social individual, as those with APD have difficulty learning from mistakes, rigid indecision making, make poor decisions, and are unresponsive to punishment. Shit. So, you know, you can't treat it it and they tend not to care about being punished. Wow, so I think the big lesson from that is get the fuck away from them. Like, you know, if you're in a relationship with somebody, they can diagnose and I know this is me talking. This is not the APA or anything or any kind of psychological agency. I mean, I think they would say like, yeah, but you can work around it. And maybe they would say that.

I don't know, maybe some people think that, but they still deserve love. Ah! You know, it's basically, it sounds like, it's almost like a birth defect. You know, like some people are born, you know, without the, what the cleft palate thing, like they're born without some part of their,

or their mouth slash jaw, something, something's, they're born without, I know that they're, maybe they're born without a cleft. I don't know, I shouldn't have brought out that example because clearly I don't know, no, any of the terminology at all. Let's just go arm, that's an easier. I know what an arm is. I've seen them, I have to.

If you're born without one, you know, you're just like, shit man, you don't got it, but I guess you could get a prosthetic arm. You can't get a prosthetic conscience. So it's even worse. It's even worse than being in a way. Just like you're just born without that part of your brain in a way, I'm gonna actually get into the science.

So I should probably just stop bullshitting. So I'll explain a little bit more of the, the actual organic kind of reasons people get this disorder. But yeah, but anyway, the point is, get away from them. If you're dating somebody and they find out they're sociopaths, you really think they are, you're not gonna change them. They're not gonna go from Christian Bale, American Psycho,

to just like, you know, laid back and just chill as fuck, and cool. That's not gonna be a transition they're gonna make. They're not gonna, you know, they're not gonna go from Christian Bay, to American Psycho to, oh my God, say anything, I know you're listening right now, you're already thinking of this guy.

Oh no, I have to, I have to, this is gonna drive me crazy. Say anything, John QZAC, boom, zap. That's who it is. I just channeled my inner day weight there. So yeah, you're not going to make that transition. But I want to talk really quick too about, because I was fascinated by this, sociopath and psychopath.

Because those terms are thrown around a lot together to the point that they almost feel synonymous. And clearly, it's even, I feel like a little mercier still than it used to be with this umbrella term of anti-social personality disorder that they both kind of get thrown underneath. But there is a difference. And so I always picture a psychopath

as like obviously crazy. Like another bit I did talking about people who do like mass murders, like they seem to be like photogenically crazy. Like you could diagnose mental illness from a picture taken to them Like a wild-eyed blatantly mental mental mentally ill like Jack Nicholson in the shining kind of crazy like that Here's Johnny, you know when he fucking smashes through the door with his axe like like you're not thinking Oh, I wonder if there's something wrong with that guy. You're like, oh, crazy and dangerous.

I know, I'm no doctor, but I know crazy and dangerous when I see it and I see a psychopath. To me, and after doing some research, it turns out, I was kind of right. According to medicaldaily.com sociopathie, while the less understood of the two disorders can be congenital or acquired. So you can be born with it, is what they're saying?

Or through socioeconomic and kind of environmental circumstances, you can become a sociopath when you were born perfectly healthy. However, psychopaths, that is generally considered a confluence of genetic and chemical imbalances. So it is like your brain was not formed correctly. Psychopaths lock the lack the proper neurological framework to develop a sense of ethics and morality. So to me, it's scarier. They don't have the neurons aren't firing

in the right places. Like that little place in your brain, where you're like, no, I'm not gonna fucking take an ax and kill that person. That's a human being with their own desires and right to live and hopes and people love them and would miss them and who am I?

Psychopath, yeah, but it'd be fun. Oh, I wonder how their blood would look if I just, you know, axed away. Yeah, sociopaths interact with the social worlds in a meaningful way, but their moral compasses need them. Like, need a massive tune up yesterday is basically the problem with them. Both tend to be charming despite being unable to empathize

normally with others. They offer convincing systems of fear and disgust, but tend to lack both. But here's the main difference. Psychopaths cross the line. Sociopaths may hold up in their houses or remove themselves from society, but like a psychopath is busy in his basement,

Reagan shackles to the furnace. And that's not, I mean, that's like something I would say, but that's actually from daily.com, medicaldaily.com. And again, to kind of use the movie reference earlier, Christian Bale from American Psycho, that's psychopath. I feel like it's straight up psychopath, whereas like a Dexter Morgan from the showtime series Dexter, more of a sociopath.

Or like Jake, you know, Jill and Hall's Lou and Nightcrawler, which is a fantastic movie, by the way. Really good movie. Like one of my favorite movies of, I believe it was last year, the year I saw it, I just was just like blown away.

I like him as an actor, but I really thought that was great. But he's a sociopath. And if you haven't seen that movie, he's just a dude who, yeah, he's not gonna take an axi. He's not gonna go out of his way to kill you, but if you are causing a problem, and he creates circumstances

that make a situation very dangerous for you, like I don't wanna spoil stuff. But if he, you know, were to do that, and you were to die, you know, sweet. He's not gonna call an he, you know, were to do that and you were to die, you know, sweet. He's not going to call an ambulance, you know, he's going to let it happen because he has something to gain from it. Whereas Christian Bale is going to fucking go chain saw Johnny and just go, you know, full berserker mode. He's going to go doom berserker on your ass. And psychopaths are dangerous. Like I just said, they're violent and cruel and this is going back to themedicaldaily.com.

Oftentimes downright sinister, they show no remorse for their actions, usually because of a lesion on a part of their brain responsible for fear and judgment known as the amygdala. Amygdala, there we go, amygdala. Psychopaths commit crimes in cold blood, they crave control, and impulsivity, impulsivity, possess a predatory instinct, attack proactively rather than as a reaction to confrontation. That's interesting. A 2002 study found that 93.3% of psychopathic homicides were instrumental in nature, meaning, you know, like they planned it out, compared with 48.4% of the homicides by

people who weren't psychopaths. So twice as many, almost exactly, like psychopaths, so maybe the examples I was using earlier weren't totally correct, they plan out their murders. But again, to go to what they're saying, more likely to just straight up murder you than a sociopath. And I guess sociopaths can be result of lesion brain regions, but upbringing may also play as I said earlier, a larger role and a child becoming a sociopath versus those diagnosed as psychopaths.

And again, sociopathic behavior is manifested as convincing and deceitful despite an outward appearance of trustworthyness or sincerity sociopaths are often pathological liars. Which if you know my standard, I know I'm fasting with that. I, this bit Rick got this CDI-D years ago, and special, the guy slapping the salmon, which is based on a real dude, that actually his real name, if you're a fan of trivia of my stuff, he called himself Wolf.

He was this dude who always wore wolf t-shirts. And he was like, I have people call him a wolf, but he was that kind of guy where it's like, no, you call you Wolf. And then he say people call you Wolf. Like you are perpetuating being called Wolf. Not like it's not some Native American chief was like, he will be called Wolf from this day forward.

That was a weird half Indian half Native American accent. But I have met a pathological, other pathological liars and they are fascinating. There was this lady I worked with at this when I did counseling briefly, very briefly before comedy, at this group home and this lady who is the cook there. I won't give her a name, but if you worked with me, you know who you are, you know who this lady is.

And she would tell so many lies that we used to joke about like we almost did it. I wanted to do it, but maybe I didn't, I don't know, I just didn't take the initiative, but I wanted to keep a journal that we could, like me and the other counselors could write down her careers. She would like, she would reference like the timeline

in that, she would reference like being a truck driver for seven years. And she was a high school teacher for eight years. And she was a park ranger for 14 years. And she was a chef at this other restaurant for seven years. And she was like 45 years old. But she's told so many things that just doing like a rough estimate. I'm like, she's told me 150 years worth of shit over the past six months.

So like the overwhelming majority of this stuff has to be lies. And if she's lying about that, what, she clearly probably just lying about everything that she says. And you know, so maybe she was a sociopath. Maybe that was just, you know, one of her things manifesting. So why being a sociopath? But now here's the thing though, I kind of mentioned earlier about, you know, you could, you could kick some ass

Not having a conscience and there has been some interesting studies done about like CEOs like you know the percentage of CEOs You know being psychopaths and then the study I came across said 5% Compared to 1% of the human population are actually social or psychopaths for CEOs, or four to five percent. So the roughly four times more likely to be is like a psychopath in the average person. According to journalist John Ronson,

he spent two years reaching this published a book called The Psychopath Test, Journey Through the Madness Industry. And I need to talk about how a bunch of CEOs have demonstrated psychopathic traits like Steve Jobs, former Apple CEO, famous for just screaming and berating his employees, denied paternity of his own daughter for years. Like the dude was just so selfish and cold-blooded. But when you have that, when you have that, you know, you can really just focus on climbing the ladder, because you're just

not worried about being a good person. It's just, you know, the career climb is a game, and you're just like a video game, your life is a video game, and just how can you get to high a score? You're not concerned of how your score affects others. Donald Trump built a brand, and this isn't my words, and I'm probably some of you are tired of hearing me like, Bash Trump, but this is just, even if you are in favor of Trump, I would think that you have to realize, I hope that you have to realize he's clearly a sociopath. I

mean, the dude, I mean, he's famous for saying you're fired. He likes to get rid of you. Like, he just, he's, you see his face on the debates, he's so fucking cruel, like outwardly cruel. And you could tell just ego maniacal. And would do, like he, I wouldn't trust him in a second. Not that I'm saying I trust like other politicians, but I trust him so much less. Like I would think, you know, with him and Hillary,

I think Hillary might at least feel guilty about Hillary, maybe she needed to, I don't think he, I don't think he would lose a wink of sleep. So yeah, I don't wanna be alone in the woods with him. But another example is former CEO, Al Chainsaw Dunlap. He was praised for ruthlessly downsizing failing companies, turning them around in 1994. He was brought into downsize a company called Scott Paper. He fired 35% of employees in a restructuring that raised the stock by 225% and published a book about his methods called Mean Business, How I Save Bad Companies and Make Good Companies Great.

To me, which is like a rationalization of the titles. Like, I'm doing it for the betterment of everybody. No, dude, you are doing it for the stockholders. You are just fucking over the little guy in favor of the stockholders in this book. I guess like some interviews and stuff, his wife reportedly told her that he wanted to know what human flesh tasted like. And he skipped his own parents' funerals

in favor of work. That is a sociopath. And now I'm gonna take a test here in a second to find out if I am a psychopath. I went, I try to find sociopath and psychopath tests. You know what? I'm going to find out both. No, I'm going to do both.

We're going to find out if I'm a psychopath or a sociopath. And I promise, answer in these honestly. But before I do that, the last other thing is here's the little graphic I found of careers that there's studies done that where they they find the lowest amount of socios, the last psychopaths, and the highest amount of sociopaths, the lowest one to ten, care aid, nurse, therapist, craft person, beautician stylist, charity worker, teacher, creative artist, me, Dr. Accountant, so those are the people who, at least likely, to be social best, like Beth, highest, one, CEO, lawyer, media, TV radio, other way, the fit. So maybe I am salesperson, surgeon, journalist, police officer, clergy person, chef, or civil

servant. Man, don't trust the man, it's what I'm getting for that. Many get police officer. Remember the clergy, civil servant. Mm, I've always been a leery. I've always been a leery of people in power positions. And you know what? Maybe there is some good instinct in me that. Because it looks like a lot of those power players

that I just referenced sociopaths. I do think that's weird that surgeon is like number five for most likely, whereas doctor is, you know, on the nine, but for like lowest, that's weird. I guess surgeons, maybe you got to be more cold-blooded to pull that off. Okay. So this is the psychopath test. This is from this try. It's like v is t r i at-r-i-i.com,

backslash psychopath tests. So if you want to take this, again, it's, you know, HTTP or www.v-i-s-t-r-i-i.com psychopath test. You know, what is your age? 39. What gender do you qualify as? Male. Mark each of the others below is true false when applied to you. I never get tongue tied if he false anyone

It's seen me live You know that it takes me a lot to put some of the jokes together I just even on these podcasts. I definitely get tongue tied like my brain is going in one direction my mouse going in another In important ways, I am superior to most people. This, I, I know, some of these answers are not gonna make me look good. I say true, I do have a little bit of a superiority complex. But that's mostly because I think so many strangers are pieces of shit who have no decency and manners and don't give a fuck about others.

And you know what, I care about that stuff. So yeah, I do feel superior. Suck it. I am prone to boredom. True. I am prone to boredom. I am a squirming herman, like a little antsy. It's hard for me to sit down and chill out. I lie to make things go smoother. It doesn't make me sound good, but I must say true. Sometimes not on like big things, but sometimes, you know, if someone's like, man, do you think my, do you think this is a good thing that I wrote? This is a good screenplay. I might think it's shit, but I just, I don't want to, I don't want to be the guy.

You know, sometimes I will. I go back and forth, but sometimes I'm just like, fuck it. And I know I can find out from somebody else, and I'm like, yeah, it's great. I'm totally lied to make it go smoother. I cheat people out of things. Hmm, false. Uh, no, I don't, I don't, I don't. I cheat people out of things. Fals. Uh, no, I don't, I don't, I don't try to cheat people out of things. I rarely feel guilty. That's false. I am an emotional person, true.

I rarely connect emotionally with others. That's false. I often get others to pay for things for me. I wish. Uh, that's false. That sounds sweet. I wish I could get people to buy me shit. That sounds great. I am impatient. Yes, true. Oh my God, super impatient. It's one of my biggest flaws.

Like, it's made me almost quit comedy so many times because I think I should be getting certain career goals immediately. And then when I don't, I just get like insanely frustrated. And when things, even when something good is on the horizon, I just get so angry that it hasn't happened yet. Always struggle with page, if you've ever watched me assemble anything,

you know that I have no patience. I go from following instructions for the first 10 minutes, and then first thing goes wrong. I go to screaming and hitting things. I am promiscuous. That's false. Maybe in the past, at certain points, maybe that would be true, but overall false. I was a problem trial. That false. I was kind of a mom's boy to be.

I did do some things, but they were sneaky, but I wasn't a problem to my parents. That's how I'm interpreting that question. I've difficulty staying committed to long-term goals. True. I've given up on a lot of creative projects. I'm impulsive. Yes, true. I've given up on a lot of creative projects. I'm impulsive. Yes, true. I frequently perform sloppy work. False.

I try not to be sloppy with my work. My housekeeping skills is another story. I try to evade responsibility. False. My romantic relationships usually fall apart quickly. No, false. If it long, several long term relationships, I committed some crimes as a juvenile. True. I'm going to save that for another episode. But yeah, I got old

sticky fingers going for a couple of years there. And I don't have time to get into it right now, because this would be a marathon episode. It would take a bunch of, it would derail the topic. But yeah, yeah, I got into a couple of years, I got into, you know, swiping some shit, got way to end to it. Thought I was a little criminal. Like I was gonna be some bank robber some day, took it a little far. So yes, I have violated probation order false. I've committed many types of crimes, true. I am neither shy nor self-conscious. And the true thing is, you know, I, you know, yeah, shoplifted, I burglarized, I have DUI in my record.

So that's, you know, I have Melissa Smith-Jiff in City theft in my record, another story. So there's truth there. I am neither shy nor self-conscious. I speak with authority, false. I am exceptional. I think I'm exceptional. I like to think of myself that way. I say true, but then I'm kind of bipolar that way.

Sometimes I think I'm a piece of shit. So I don't know, but I put true. I need to take risks to feel live. True. I'm a gambler with my career. And yeah, I do feel dead if I'm not taking risks. I basically am an honest person. I think that's true. God, there's a lot of fucking questions on this one. Jesus Christ. I feel bad when I trick people. True. Someone deserves it. I don't feel too bad. True. I struggled with that one. I don't know. They're really dumb.

It's like it's a harmless trick, whatever. I think strong emotions are for the weak. I do get a little bit of a head sometimes. I don't like a cry baby. I'll put true. It's just, no, it's like, dude, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, being a bake, it's like crying.

It bothers me. I think if people get offended, that is their problem. True. On that one for sure, true. It's like people in the audience, you know, it's like the kind of person like, you know, clean comedy, you're so much harder to do,

you have to use a lot of cursing and profanity. What are you fucking child? You fucking baby. Couple words, bother you, you're so sensitive. Go fuck yourself. I've always taken care of myself. True, yeah, I think I'm pretty independent. You know, as far as taking care of myself,

I never act hastily. That's false, some people do that. I think sex should not be taken lightly, or I think sex should not be taken lightly. I don't know, false, I've taken sex pretty lightly in the past, you know, didn't mean much. I was often in trouble at school, false, I lacked direction of my life, false,

I never gave it to temptation, false. I always keep my word. I'm gonna say false on that one, because who always keeps their word? Probably some people who are better than me. That makes me sound like a dick, but you know, that always sometimes life changes and you know, and I fucking can't keep doing the things

because some other shit came out, which I could. Our problems are mostly the fault of others. True, makes me sound like a dick. I don't like to commit in relationships, false. I was a bully in high school, and I put true on this because I was bullied by some people. I was, you know, back down from fights, kind of thing, which I'm ashamed of to this day. But also, it was like a verbal bully, which is ruthless, you know, and cut people down.

I feel a lot of guilt to this day about that. So there was some bullying. I don't like to come in. Oh, yeah I have been held in contempt of court false. I am not or would not be proud of getting away with crimes That's false. I was proud of getting away with some stuff. I thought it was pretty good at it So I submitted all that and drumroll I scored an 18 30 or higher. There's 40 total questions indicate psychopath tendencies. So take the test if you want, find out if you're psychopath.

And this is a shorter test. So I'll do this real fast. Am I a sociopath? And this is from ilnessquiz.com slash sociopath-test. Ilnessquiz.com. Do you joke about yourself or like it when people joke about you. Pulse, I don't like it. I don't like to be made fun of. Even though I make fun of stuff all the time, I think I do it abstractly. I talk about behaviors not individuals for the most part. I don't like being singled out.

I don't do that in the audience. I don't go after somebody unless they're disrupting the show. Do you fail to learn from experience? False? I learn from experience. Do you particularly care about how others feel? Yeah, I care about how others feel. You've just heard someone's feelings.

How does that make you feel? I don't like it. I learned from experience. Do you particular care about how others feel? Yeah, I care about how others feel. You've just heard someone's feelings. How does that make you feel guilty? Though I may not be proud to admit it. It is not my fault. It is normal for me to hurt others. Guilty.

I feel guilt. Next one, R5. Are you aggressive or cool headed? Are you in the answers aggressive, cool headed, or depends on the situation? I put depends on the situation. Most time I'm cool headed. And again, if you've been at certain of my shows,

you've seen me physically threatened bodily harm on an audience member in a moment of rage, which would count as aggressive, I think. Are you generally an anxious person? Yep. I'm anxious right now. I'm anxious right now. I am anxious at this moment, because I arbitrarily set this podcast length at like 30 minutes.

I wanted it to do it, and it's 32 minutes right now, and I swear to God, I'm just like, that is crazy. Like someone's gonna write back to the show, you know what, man? Fuck you and your podcast. I have a 30 minute drive exactly to work, and now I am a few minutes late,

because I needed to find out about your test, and you promised it will be 30, yeah, I get a few minutes late because I needed to find out about your test and you promised it will be third. Yeah, I get a little crazy. Do you tell lies or say instance your things? I already said that above. We already covered that. So that's true. Are you responsive to others socially?

False. I'm kind of a bad friend. I don't get back to people on text sometimes. I just get real like anti-social and hermity and I just don't want to talk to somebody. And that's not good. Are you superficially charming and intelligent? That's really like derogatory, but I put true.

I think I bullshit my way through certain conversations for sure, which I would consider like superficially intelligent like because I don't want to be called, found out about being stupid. So I just, you know, I just try and hang Past a point where I should hang. I'm trying to get better about that. I'm trying to get better about like that I'm out. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I'm talking about anymore But I can turn on charm if I want which seems superficial. It's not because it's not all the time

You have delusions or other signs of irrational thinking false that might be debatable if you know me Your behavior is anti-social for no good reason true illusions or other signs of irrational thinking. False, that might be debatable if you know me. Your behavior is anti-social for no good reason, true. And that kind of goes back to me not getting back to people earlier. Being like, hermity isn't a good reason to be anti-social. You have poor judgment, true.

True, I've made a lot of stupid, you've ever seen my, this is not happening on YouTube story about taking a lot of LSD in Vegas. That is poor judgment for sure. It's not like I was 19, I was like 35 when I did that. Okay, your pathologically egocentric and incapable of love, false. You generally lack the ability to react emotionally, false.

Your sex life is impersonal, trivial, or poorly integrated false. I have a good sex life with my wife. When you say, I think I have a suck of shoe that pops on the microphone right now, it's like nope. Your sex life, oh sorry. When you say you're sorry,

you usually don't mean it false. I mean it when I say I'm sorry. You often act before you think about the consequences false. You got in a lot of trouble when you were a kid. False, I did a lot of shitty things, but I didn't get caught, so I'm not gonna count that as trouble. You were very good at manipulating people in situations. False, I try not to manipulate stuff.

You have been cruel to animals. Oh, man, I don't like saying true on that, but true as a kid. My sister, Donna, had a cat named Toby, and I would put Toby in my mom's nylons. I would stuff the cat into the nylons because I thought it made it look like a burglar. It's smush her hair. Or fur would get all patted down. And then she wouldn't like it. And then the worst thing, and then I just took it further, and I would swing her around like a helicopter.

Like this poor cat is smushed into the nylon, and I would swing her around like a helicopter. Like the sport cat is smushed into an island and I would like to fucking helicopter around the room. Like I could have killed it. That's cruel. That is cruel. There was definitely a period of childhood when I was cruel to animals that so messed up. Here's results. After all those answers, the test came back and it says, I am a 30% sociopath which means

I'm not. I don't know what to cut off, I don't know if it's like 51. I got 30%, I got third. Okay. So instead of five takeaways, I wanna do a top five this time, examples of sociopaths. Okay, Sherlock Holmes, interesting.

Number one, this is the BBC one where he is a high-functioning sociopath from fiction. A Louvre, he does not realize that he's hurt the feelings of his closest companions, Watson, Mrs. Hudson, cares little for social regard, quick to anger when people can't keep up. Okay, clockwork orange, Alex, the lead character,

and this dystopian novella runs, yeah, you've seen the movie, you've seen it, you lead character, and this dystopian novella runs this, yeah, you okay? If you've seen the movie, you've seen it, you haven't, but he, uh, not a good dude, uh, not a lot of empathy. Um, and then he gets sent to prison to experiment to remove all this violent intent from him. Uh, okay, this one I've seen, the, the ice man, and this is a list by the way from psychologist.org, top five famous social paths. It's Richard Kalinsky or Kuklinzki aka the Ice Man. Now, this was a famous hit man and there was this documentary down on him.

There was also Michael Shannon played him in a movie, if you look it up, but he just, he was like a fairly good dad in his own way, like not an emotional, but provided for his family. But he just, you know, if his, if his, he was like following orders kind of thing, if his boss, you know, wanted somebody dead, didn't matter if you begged or not, you were gonna be dead and he was gonna go home

and have dinner that night and, you know, watch a show and not fucking worry about it. Yeah, oh, crazy. Just how casually this dude would talk about murder. And then there was a number four, Will Cornick, his kid born in Leeds, England, 1998, came from a loving family up until 12 years old, model student, but from age 13,

when he was diagnosed with a life limiting illness, doesn't say watch his behavior changed. For three years, he carried a pathological hatred of a Spanish teacher, 59-year-old Ann McGuire, writing posts on his Facebook page about how she deserved to die. And then in April 2014, age just 15, he walks up behind her, unprovoked,

stabs her in the neck. She dies instantly. That's one hell of a stab. Afterwards, then he just sits down next to some friends, saying, good times. So apparently he's stabbed her in front of them and then just sits down like, hey, that was cool, right? No conflict, no provocation.

Wow. That's the kind of shit I conflict, no provocation. Wow. That's the kind of shit I joke about, like I joke about. I feel like I'm a joke sociopath, or it's like, yeah, I talk about how fucking love just to go stab strangers in their necks. But I really wouldn't. I really wouldn't, and unless they were, now I'm having to think about it.

And let's say we're like really just really bad people. Like if they're like pedophiles, yeah, line them up, and let's commence next-abbing Okay, five Miranda priestly from the devil words Prada fictional fashionista guru I know my wife love this movie, but the little to her assistant anyone who does not come up to her standards quick to anger Vile and violent temper make no allowances for weaker people just trouble making and keeping friends except those who are Seeku is enough She's ruthless as a devil is for weaker people. Just trouble making and keeping friends, except those who are sequest enough. She's ruthless as a devil.

Okay, you know, I am into the top five takeaways after that. We're just, this is gonna be a 40 minute episode. You're getting to bonus 10. Trying to keep these short, but I'm just so fast in this topic. Excuse me. Number one, take away from this episode. If you're gonna be a sociopath, go into management. You know,

it's the best place for your heartless skill set, you son of a bitch. Number two, despite not feeling bad when I trick people, having a juvenile criminal record and thinking that my problems are mostly the fault of others, I am not a psychopath or sociopath. I took a test on the internet as proof. Since the odds, number three, since the odds of you being associated path, there's somewhere between one and one and one and 30, you probably are not a sociopath, but you for almost sure, or for almost for sure, have met several and probably at least have known one.

So think about that when you're laying in bed. Number four, you're better off running across a psychopath than a sociopath because a psychopath, at least you can see him coming. You know, at least you can like prepare to defend yourself. I feel like the sociopath's the one, you know, that again out in the woods, like stabs you in the back, the psychopath,

you know, come and towards your screaming, wielding an axe, you can get a little head start. So better to come across, you know, in a weird way, a psychopath, unless you're like in an alley, a dark alley. Then I think that I would rather come across the sociopath because they're less apt to kill you just for the impulse thrill of it than a psychopath. So really I guess really number four is just staves better off not running into either.

Better off staying away from either one. Number five, three of the top careers for sociopaths are civil servant government employee, you know, which is the same thing. A police officer and like clergyman slash priest. So you know, as I said earlier, don't trust the fucking man. Trust a creative artist like me. Forget about the media on the fucking sociopath side. Focus on the artist like myself. I consider myself a comedic artist.

Trust me. And you know, just keep listening to Time Suck. And take a second to rate Time Suck on whatever platform you happen to listen to it on. The more ratings it gets, the more people know to sit, the more people listen, and the more incentive I have to take all this time, it takes to research and deliver episode after episode

which I do enjoy. But it just makes me wanna do it more if you like it. And if you're new to me as a standup, check out one of my five albums on iTunes, Amazon's, wherever albums are sold, listen to it on Spotify. Make a day in Cummins Pandora Station. Do that, it's free. Make it, put it my name in the Pandora search box.

Get all the stand up, you can handle for free. I was annoying. I annoyed myself with that noise. I didn't work out like I hoped. And if you want to reach me with a question about one of the shows or if you have a comment to add, leave it on my Facebook page, Instagram, Twitter, Twitter, Squatter, sonograph. She starts saying random words like like his sonograph. I haven't heard of that social media thing. It's probably it's probably starting to be like sonograph where you just put pictures of fucking unborn babies and compare them and share them and rate them. Or just email me directly at Dan at deadcomands.tv To talk at you next week, probably for not quite as long. But who knows? Who knows? You know, I try to keep it tight.

But then I just get to yapping and it gets a little long. Sometimes on, suck.