Timesuck with Dan Cummins - 45 - North Korea: Prison Posing as a Nation

Episode Date: July 24, 2017

What is happening over in North Korea and why do we not try and stop the atrocities being committed? Just how insane is Kim Jong-un? (VERY) How bad is life for the average North Korean citizen? (HELL ON EARTH) Does the North Korean regime have any redeeming qualities? (UM... NOPE) Find out how North Korea came to be and what life is like in the "Hermit Kingdom" in this totalitarian edition of Timesuck.  Today's episode is sponsored by Mack Weldon! Go to www.mackweldon.com and use the promo code TIMESUCK at checkout to get 20% off your purchase!

North Korea, the hermit kingdom, the most reclusive nation in the world. A strange land where brainwashed citizens are taught that their leader is a living god and severely punished if they think otherwise. A leader Kim Jong-un, a man named a four-star general, without ever having served a single day in the military and then put in charge of nuclear weapons, the third successive leader of the Kim dynasty, the only family to ever lead North Korea, a nation born from the cold war. A dystopian nation, where your every move is monitored by an oppressive regime that will literally work you to death in a state labor camp for the smallest of infractions, like

watching a South Korean movie or taking a propaganda poster off a hotel wall. A nation of hungry, scared people who fear, hate, and also adores their leader. A cult of 25 million posing as a country, find out how North Korea came to be, who has led this secretive nation, what life is like for the average North Korean, why don't just wipe them from the map and so much more in this episode?

Communism, corruption, a cult of personality, and more on today's Tatarian time suck. You're listening to time suck. Terri and Time Suck. Welcome back to Monday, everybody. I'm Dan Cummins, and this is Time Suck. Today's Time Suck is sponsored by none other than Mack Weldon, the fucking champion of the men's clothing game. You know who doesn't wear Mack Weldon boxers?

Kim Jong-un. Kim Jong-un wears tyranny and torture for his underwear because he's a ridiculous asshole. You know who does wear Mac Weldon Boxers? This guy, me. They become my favorite underwear. I like to cut, form-fitting, but not circulation-cutting. I wear the silver line, which are crafted from natural fibers, and are also anti-macrobial. Why? Because I like my balls to air out a little bit if you must know something so personal about me. I'm not looking for my underwear to turn my crotch into a testicle sauna and to a ball sweatshop and to a nut steam bath and to a winy water park and to a genitalia group shower and to a you get the idea. I like some comfort and I like some style and Mac Weldon has a ton of both and I don't like to leave the house to go buy stuff and you don't have to do that with Mac Weldon, a ton of both. And I don't like to leave the house to go buy stuff. And you don't have to do that with Mac Weldon, right?

You just get it online. Get their boxer socks, shirts, hoodies, and more. So get some for yourself. Treat yourself and save some money. Go to MacWeldon.com and get 20% off your purchase using the promo code TimeSuck. Unless you hate yourself and you really hate your balls and don't.

But if you're a decent human being, you go to MacWeldon.com and get 20% off're purchased using the promo code TimeSuck. Enjoy your life. And I hope you've been enjoying your life. You've definitely been helping me enjoy mine. Already up to 750 iTunes reviews and counting. The reviews have been really great. Review 750. Cracked me up. iTunes reviewer, all one shot, said, I listen to this every night. It helps me fall asleep. Not because I'm boring, but because he has such a soothing voice, keep it up, Dan, you are the hero, we deserve. Well, hail, Nimrod! Thank God you kept writing after it helps me fall asleep.

I had me worried for a bit. That would have been a weird endorsement. Just, you know, time suck. Listen to it if you can't fall asleep. Just listen to this shit head, drawing on for an hour or two. That'll knock you out. Anyway, love the reviews. Not a troll review in the bunch.

Over 600 actual reviews in addition to ratings. And I'm honored that you guys take the time to leave them truly. Thank you very much. And thanks to the new subscribers, new time suckers joining the suck, each and every week hitting that subscribe button, new suckheads hitting the shop also at timesoakedpodcast.com

buying all three generations of time suck t-shirts. Sorry, I'm out of size or two, and the men's Bojangles T. I think I'm caught up on the rest, make me so happy you continue to support the show with those super soft exotic animal skin t-shirts. And thanks for all the topic suggestions that have been sent in to Bojangles at TimeSokPodcast.com.

I've had company over my house for no joke, almost two months straight. You know how you tell people like, hey, manage, come out. It'd be fun. Well, I lived in LA for a long time. A city where everyone says they're going to do something, and almost no one follows through. Like you kind of just get used to that. A city where, oh yeah, totally.

Actually means, no, absolutely not, that'll never happen. And I didn't, I just got used to people not taking me up on stuff, and I didn't think any of the invited people would actually come out. Everyone came out. Like literally everyone. And it was great, not a bad guest in the bunch, but it didn't have any of the invited people would actually come out. Everyone came out. Like literally every and it was and it was great. Not a bad guest in the bunch, but didn't have time to stand top of email. So mess. You just had to only had time to stand top of the suck and stand up.

So I hope you're not upset. I haven't gotten back to a quite a few of them. But thanks for continuing to send them in. I do read them all. You know, read them on my phone is they come in. Don't know how I was to have time to craft a thought out response, but they've been great and excited to lay out the next several months topics based on a lot of suggestions.

And I love how many of you were starting to follow the suck on social media. At TimeSuck podcast on Instagram, Twitter, slash time suck podcast on Facebook. Those of you who listened the last week's episode know how you get to vote to determine the next time suck bonus episode. That's right. You get to decide. It's coming up quick. On at time suck podcast on Instagram, I posted three possible topics for the 800 review bonus suck and I'll repost this week. Comment with a topic you want. You can just see how it's

done there again on time suck podcasts on Instagram. You know, should be Project MK Ultra secret CIA experiments involving shit like mind control. Should it be Heaven's Gate, that cult, Secret CIA experiments involving shit like mind control should be heaven's gate that cult Cult that ended on March 26, 1997 when police discovered the bodies of 39 members who participated in a mass suicide You know so they could get on fucking spaceship should be the iceman Richard Cuclincksky a former mafia hitman convicted of killing five But probably killed dozens more dudes you decide whoever gets more votes in the next two weeks and you have to leave the votes on time sucks Instagram page. Just post a topic you want under the post. That topic will be the next time suck. Cut off voting at midnight, Pacific daylight time on July 31st. And then I'll announce an Instagram the following day what the next bonus suck will

be. Currently MK Ultras in the lead. A lot of time suckers want some CIA experiment suck, but still plenty time to vote. And Iceman and Heaven's Gate have also gotten a lot of interest as well. And a lot of you suckheads hit the Amazon button at timesuckpodcast.com this past week to do your Amazon shopping. I fucking appreciate it, really do. And I appreciate the PayPal donations made through timesuckpodcast.com this past week. So generous, you guys are the fucking best. Thanks for supporting this experiment.

And huge thanks to the Lilly Sisters, Sarah and Rebecca Reba, members of the Bojangles Research team, putting together a ton of great research to get me going on this suck. Help me a ton. A lot of info out there and it was nice to get the best stuff kind of already gathered up in one document to just get me going. And TimeStuckers Travis, Ben Sastak, Kevin, Davey, Kleinfield, Matt Clemen, and I'm sure others I missed. Thanks for recommending this topic. Hope you enjoy it. Hope I suck your ass dry when it comes North Korea. And let's get into North Korea right after we get out

with some time sucker updates. It's? Okay, so holy shit, holy shit. I somehow had no idea that being transgender was such a hot button right now. My God, I mean, I knew it had gotten a lot of media attention the past few years, but I didn't realize it was quite so polarizing. Wow, the top of a loan worked some people to fuck up first true anger. I've gotten on social media over topic choice.

First time someone said on Facebook that based on the topic choice alone, they were done with the suck, like they were out. Didn't even listen to it. They were just like, nope, just for doing that out, that really surprised me. Also got some feedback that I was a little preachy with the episode and didn't really make it a debate. It was very one side that I came in with an agenda. I didn't come in with an agenda, but let me explain.

When I titled the episode, the Transgender Debate, I was referring to the fact that there is a debate going on about being transgender as opposed to me having a debate on it during the episode. Without digging into every facet of the discussion, there seems to be two different schools of thought. On one side, there is the, it's wrong. I don't like it. Not my fucking house. Don't approve camp.

On the other side is the, it's fine. I may not understand it, but I don't have a problem with it. It's not affecting my life, so who gives a shit camp? Obviously, there's nuances outside of that, but those are the main camps I see. And I feel like one side of the debate is easy to understand. I don't like it side. That side's argument appears to be largely religiously based

or based in, it doesn't make sense to me. I don't find it natural, and I'm just not interested in learning anything more about it, done. Without being inflammatory, there just doesn't seem to be a lot of scientific research done on that side of the debate. And I used to be on that side, as I explained in the episode. And I didn't research shit when I was on that side.

It didn't seem natural to me. I closed my mind, moved on with my life. And because I didn't know any transgender people, it was easy to move on with my life. And it was easy for my opinion to go on unchallenged. And I just, you know, moved on with my life. And because I didn't know any transgender people, it was easy to move on with my life, and it was easy for my opinion to go on unchallenged. And I just, you know, that's where I stayed. And then I met a transgender time sucker, and I was introduced to the other side.

And on the other side, there was a lot of discussion being had. Research, you know, real discussion, you know, people listening to the shit. Research, you know, being done, and involved with research. If it all would have said, hey, being transgender means intermeanger mentally ill, I would have had a very different kind of episode, but I didn't say that.

Not the stuff I found, I looked at a lot of shit. And I just thought it was an important episode to share with the time-soc community and get more people to ask a question. I recently started to ask myself, what does it fucking matter? You know, whether there's signs behind it or not, if a sex change can make somebody else happy

and it doesn't cost any money out of your pocket, doesn't directly affect your life in any real way. Fuckin' who cares the shit? Why are we so concerned with the other people's dicks and plussies and what they're doing with them? You know, why are we more concerned with their characters? You know, I think, you know, with the very diverge group of listeners, one of the things time suckers about is tolerance and so it felt important to me to discuss. And I did get some of the best messages I've gotten so far from last week's episode.

This one is from a time sucker named Jessica. I'll keep her last name private since it's fairly personal. Jessica wrote it and said, to the Almighty Master time sucker, I wanna thank you for the transgender episode. I'm bisexual and there's only a few that know I am. So I kinda feel like an outcast with my own parents since they don't know.

My husband is totally supportive and then for the season, I think he just wants to treat some. Ah, I get it. I appreciate you covering the transgender subject. It has seriously cleared up a few myths I had stupidly believed, such as raping the bathroom. I have three kids, two boys, one girl, and I've always been up with them and constantly told them

that my husband and I would accept them for who they are. And after this episode, that includes being transgender. Funny thing is that I had a coworker tell me he was going under the knife to become a woman and I had accepted her when she had the surgery done. I'm not sure why I stupidly had a coworker tell me he was going under the knife to become a woman and I had accepted her when she had the surgery done. I'm not sure why I stupidly had a problem with sharing the bathroom, changing room with the transgender, but now I've changed my perspective. Thank you again for being such a master of time, suck, and educating us on the unknown

slash unfamiliar. I'm hoping maybe you can do an episode on the whole illegal immigration, illegal immigrant situation. This is definitely a touchy subject right now with the whole government situation. I'm not illegal, but I do have an insight of look to the whole subject since I married one. Not Hispanic, I'm a short, freckled white redhead. And I hate hearing uneducated people comment on illegals and I always try to educate them on the subject, not with the whole, not with a whole lot of success in some situations. You're more than welcome

to contact me if you want to choose into diving to that subject. Thanks again for being awesome and say hi to both jangles for me. Well, thank you Jessica. Man, illegal immigration, you guys trying to get me fucking killed. What another polarizing topic. I will do that one. I will dive down, but I'm gonna give at least a few months. Gotta space out the ones, the really fucking

royal people's buttls up. You know, I think that's fair, right? You know, do a series of sucks on subjects that no one is gonna have an emotional, like what the fuck are we talking about this? Kind of reaction. And then, you know, slip in one or two to make people uncomfortable. I like that recipe, you know, do too many challenges, you want to the row and a lot of people just gonna be like,

I'm out. Thank you Jessica. Here's the interesting perspective on the transgender bathroom situation. The whole should men who identify as women be able to use the women's restroom and vice versa. It's from Lee House, true to the bar of both jangles, I thought it interesting that you covered the topic of transgender issues a while back as an architect. This issue has held a unique challenge for me and the rest of my profession and certain long and lengthy discussion here.

Lately, the transgender community's push for more gender neutral public restrooms has drawn a fair amount of attention, support, and criticism. I've been sympathetic to many sides of the debate. Of course, transgender individuals should be able to use facilities for the gender, which they live and identify as, and the creation of more unisex bathrooms seems

in general like a good move, particularly with an aging population and a need for universal accessibility. However, it's not always feasible. The International Building Code sets the general standards followed by most U.S. buildings, stipulating what it calls occupancy loads. These loads are calculated based on the number of men and women projected

to use the building. The total number is divided in half and based on the use of the building, such as the school or stadium, there are so many plumbing fixtures such as toilets and sinks provided for the total number of men and women. What is interesting is that most facilities are designed to provide more toilets and sinks for women's restrooms and for men's due to the general perception that women take longer in the bathroom. Often traveling groups, you know, with children or use the restroom for nursing. Plus, your nose don't take up as much space as toilets. Now you know. I just heard some GI Joe music in the background. I said, and now you know, and knowing is half the battle. However, with the building code, unisex bathrooms have to be designed as ADA compliant,

meaning to take up more space in a single toilet in a larger public bathroom. It is usually for this reason that many businesses are hesitant to comply with the idea of converting everything to Unisex bathrooms. They just don't want to deal with costly renovations that take up even more space in their buildings. However, accessible bathrooms, while size based on wheelchair access, actually can benefit a much larger percentage of the population. Several large mercantile chains have already incorporated the family bathrooms into their

standard design plans and many family-orientated concerns such as zoos, museums, conventions and airports have also embraced this feature. Or we can simply follow the IBC International Bull Jangles Code and have everyone choose the same restroom under a tree. Okay, so you know what, I totally get not wanting to pay to make a bathroom unisex compliant, especially for small businesses. If it's a big stadium, maybe that's one thing, but I personally don't think businesses like small businesses should have to pay for a unisex bathroom. Or should I have to put one in at all, really? It should be optional.

If you have the money to do it, great, but it shouldn't be forced. That's me person, that's the libertarian to me. I think it's bullshit to have to do that. It's hard enough to make it as a small business as it is. And we're grown up, so let's fucking figure this out. Either allow transgender people to use the gender of the bathroom they identify with or don't.

We live in a democracy where the majority gets to decide and the rest of us don't have to fucking like the decision. But we have to live with it. And small business owners shouldn't have to suffer because society can't make up its goddamn mind. And I love the IBC, Bo Jangles, totally in favor of pissing wherever the hell you want to. He's a fucking libertarian if there ever was one. And finally, little Christian love to wrap up this update. This is from Time Sucker and Badass motherfucker Dylan Hargiew, who writes in with your doctor preacher, Suckington. You know how much I love a double title.

My God, do I love it. I wanted to start by saying I'm a huge fan of the show and your comedy. I've listened to you for a while. Super excited to find your podcast. I will start by saying that I'm a conservative Christian white male. So you can understand that when I heard the topic of this week's podcast that it was about the transgender debate,

my butthole tightened so much, the jaws of life could not pride that thing open. That is one hell of a visual they're dealing. But given the nature of the show and the mentality that it's a community of different minded people coming together to share ideas and think openly about topics we wouldn't normally give a second thought to, I listened. Now I have always agreed that people should live the way they want to and do what makes them happy But was still defensive as a thought of transgender I want to say thank you for educating me on this subject and making me realize that the trans community has no control over how they feel or who they are I think I'll approach situations a little more carefully and appreciate the pain some of these people have gone through just to be comfortable in their own skin Exactly Dylan when it comes to people just trying to live their life and not bother anyone else

I've got a lot more tolerant and frankly protective of protective of those people is as I've gotten older. You know, goddamn it. I really do think I'm a libertarian. Fucking me and Jesse the body ventura, great. Now having said that, when you got to your section of the edits of the internet, and you talked about the lady who claimed Christianity, says we need to hate trans people,

my butthole tightened even more, and it was fused together. Fused together, so much butthole clinchery in this message. I was worried about you bashing Christians on behalf of this woman's own thoughts, but I was relieved and you called her a fake Christian and even quoted Bible verses to prove her wrong. Real Christians believe God loves everyone despite what they do or who they are. Thank you for not bashing an entire group of one idiot who doesn't even represent with a group thinks. I was able to unclench and enjoy the episode. Love the sock in the community belt. PS, please do a sock on the president Teddy Roosevelt. He was the most badass American

to ever live. And I'd love to hear your take on him. Oh, hell, Nimrod. Well, hell yes, Dylan on the Teddy Roosevelt sock. I've heard some legendary tales of his badassery, like I mean, some crazy shit, like, like taking a bullet during his speech and it's something about like he just kept speaking like you're gonna have to do more than that to shut me up. I got a suck on him for sure. And yes, love my Christian listeners. You know, sorry when I come across contrary to that, your emails have made me a lot more tolerant

towards religion in general over the past 10 months. I was getting pretty hypocritical there for a while, and I'm a high horse. I was thinking about certain Christians being judgmental, you know, and I was a high horse. Always thinking about certain Christians being judgmental, and now becoming a super judgmental fuck myself, judging an entire religion on the actions of a few. And thanks for generally being super cool and open-minded with the topic.

I know many of you do disagree with me on. I appreciate the high level of tolerance within the suck community. And I so love that it's a community of conservatives and liberals and everyone in between. We can all fucking suck, you motherfuckers suckers. I don't even know what I'm saying anymore. And now let's suck on something I'm pretty sure we can all agree on. The North Korea, it's government, really fucking sucks. So let's get out of this update and find out exactly how much. The Korean Peninsula has been inhabited since lower Paleolithic times, the earliest known

Korean pottery dates around to 8,000 BCE. So people have been living there a while. According to legend, Korea's first kingdom, Goshoson, also known as Old Joson, or the Chosun Dynasty, Chosun meaning Morning Land was founded in 2333 BCE by Dengoon, who was said to be descended from heaven. Dengoon was a three-headed dragon. The first head was the head of a tiger, and the tiger head was responsible for guarding the Korean people from treachery from outside his borders, protecting the early Korean people against the Chinese to the north and west, Japan to the east, and an ancient race of mermaid-like people, the Rungu

to the south. The second head was the head of a viper. It was responsible for ridding the Korean people of treachery from within. And the third head was the head of a panda bear. And this head was responsible for being dumb, fat, unmotivated, and selfish. It was in charge of being a burden on society and completely fucking worthless.

You know, typical panda shit. Okay, I just made up the three-headed dragon stuff, but legend has it that Kriya's first kingdom really was founded, and 2, 3, 3, 3, 333 BCE by Dengoon, and the myth represents him as the grandson of the god of heaven who founded the original Korean kingdom. The message in the myth is that Koreans believe they have descended from the Lord of heaven directly. Some scholars maintain that the term Dengoon also refers to a title used by all rulers of Gocho-sohn and that the Wengium is the proper name of the founder. And there really is some funky dragon tiger and bear stuff mixed into the original Korean mythology.

Well until 1961, the South Korean government calculated years from the legendary birth of Denguun called the Denguun era, or Dengu, beginning in 2333 BCE. October 3rd in the Korean calendar is known as Ganchi on Ji-ul, or the festival of the opening of heaven. That is a national day in the Gregorian calendar, a national holiday, excuse me, called National Foundation Day or Dangan Goon Day. And so for that reason, Koreans typically declare that Korea has a 5,000 year old history. And this original kingdom, the Goshosone, eventually stretched from the peninsula to much of Manchuria up north. During the this period Koreans played an important role as a transmitter of cultural advances, aiding the formation of early Japanese culture

and politics. Census records from early Japan show that most Japanese aristocratic clans can trace their lineage back to the Korean peninsula. Japan by the way just just under 600 miles east of Korea. So their cultures have been linked for a long, long time. By the 3rd century BCE, the original Korean kingdom had disintegrated into various successor states in the early years of the common era. The three kingdoms, Gogorio, Shila, and Pakche, conquered the other successor states of Gosha Song, and came to dominate the peninsula in much of Manchuria. And then the Pokemon Venusar showed up with his 230 health points and paralyzed and poised and attacked abilities and everyone was totally fucked.

Now the Korean kingdoms competed with each other both economically and militarily while Gogurio and Pecce had great power from much of the era defeating Chinese invasion several times. The Sheila's power was the greatest. And this kingdom gradually extended across Korea, eventually establishing the first unified state to cover most of the Korean Peninsula by 668 CE. Historians often call this period unified Shia. So soon after the fall of Gugurio,

former Gugurio general, Dai Jo-Yong led a group of Koreans to Eastern Manchuria, founding Bajai as the successor to Guguriog, after Bajai fell in 926 CE, the crown prince led most of his people into absorption by Guguriog. Unified Shia fell apart in the late 9th century, given way to the tumultuous, later three kingdoms period, 892 CE to 936 CE, which ended with the establishment of the Gogorio dynasty. During the Gogorio period, court unified or codified laws, the government introduced a civil

service system and Buddhism flourished. And then centuries later, in 1238, the Mongols, you've heard of them, led by Ogo de Kham, son of Jengus, invaded, and every fucking single Korean was killed, beheaded, head-stacked in pyramids, and their flesh was eaten raw. And now my friends is how soon she was invented. Now you know, wait, that makes no sense whatsoever. No, the two sides signed a peace treaty

after nearly 30 years of war. Then later in 1392, the general Yee-Song-Gai established the Jo-Soon dynasty after a coup and that dynasty lasted all the way to 1910. So now we're getting close to today. And during this dynasty, King Sejong promulgated Han Gul, the Korean alphabet as an alternative to Chinese characters previously the only system of writing commonly used on the peninsula. And man, I cannot even tell you how many pronunciation videos I've already looked up for this yet so far.

That's what it was a little pauses. Like everything on my notes has written in fucking phonetics. So hopefully I'm doing alright so far. Between 1592, 1592, Japan and Vade Korea. But the Korean Navy led by Admiral Yee Sun-sin. Eventually repelled Japan with support from Korean resistance armies in Chinese aid. In the 1620s and 1630s, Joe Sone suffered invasions by the Manchu Qing Dynasty.

Then, beginning in the 1870s, Japan steadily forced Korea out of China's sphere of influence and into its own. In 1895, Empress Mi Young-Song was killed with Japanese involvement in the assassination. In 1905, Japan forced Korea to sign the Ulza Treaty, making Korea a protectorate. In 1910, Japan officially annexed Korea and made a part of its kingdom. There was a lot of opposition to being a Japanese territory, and there was massive nonviolent protests on March 1, 1919. There was a Korean independence movement coordinated by the

provisional government. I was a Republic of Korea in exile, operating mainly in neighboring Manchuria, China, and Siberia. And then finally, with the defeat of Korea in exile, operating mainly in neighboring Manchuria, China, and Siberia. And then finally, with the defeat of Japan in 1945, Korea was free from Japanese occupation and rule, and the United Nations developed a plan to establish Korea as its own independent nation and allow them to govern themselves again. This is how we get to North Korea. Immediately after World War II, the Soviet army swept in and occupied the northern half

of the peninsula, and US and occupied the northern half of the peninsula and US forces occupied the south. In December of 1945, a conference convened in Moscow to discuss the future of Korea and the participants discussed a five-year trusty ship and established a joint Soviet American commission. The commission met intermittently and sold, but deadlocked over the issue of establishing a national government over the entire peninsula. Obviously, the US wanted a democracy and the Russians wanted a communist government.

Well, on September 1947, with no solution inside, the United States submitted the Korean question to the UN General Assembly. And basically, the UN felt that the whole peninsula should have a democratic government. And the Soviets were like, nah, fuck that shit. And the Soviet Union ignored a UN mandated call for democratic national elections and established its own leader in the North. Well, the US went ahead with democratic elections in the South. Now this resulted in a communist dictatorship in North Korea and a democratic republic in South Korea. And then on December 12, 1948, the third general assembly, the United Nations,

recognized the Republic of Korea, the southern government, as the sole legal government of Korea. And the Soviets recognized only the North, with Pyong, as the sole legal government of Korea. And the Soviets recognized only the North. With Pyongyang as the capital as the proper country. So now, the stage for confrontation has been set. One international powerhouse, the UN with the US, is this most powerful participant, saying South Korea should rule all of Korea. And the Soviets saying that North Korea

should rule all of Korea. And then in June 1950, the Korean war breaks out. When North Korea massively invades the South, it goes over the 38th parallel, somewhat arbitrary division of the peninsula, ending any hope of a peaceful reunification at that time. And shit is blocking on. Okay, now a little description of the Korean war.

After the UN intervened in 1945, and the Soviet Union and the United States were tasked with reinstating Korea as an independent nation, an anti-communist Korean exile. Singh Munri is flown into Seoul by the US and becomes South Korea's first president. Kim Il Sung, a major in the Soviet Union, and the grandfather of current North Korea leader, Kim Jong-un, is installed as the leader of the Democratic People's Republic of North Korea, the DPRK, the rules North Korea to this day. Kim Il-sung's North Korean army armed with Soviet tanks backed by the Soviet Union invade South Korea in 1950, quickly overtakes much the nation.

Pretty easy task since the US had just recently withdrawn its troops after that five-year trusty ship was over. So then General Douglas Mitharthor, excuse me, excuse me, General Douglas Mick Arthur, dude, we have to do a time cell on some point. A man who had been overseeing the post-World War II occupation of Japan commands the U.S. forces, which now begin to hold off North Koreans at Pusan as a southernmost tip of Korea. Although Korea was not strategically essential to the US, the political environment at this stage of the Cold War was such that policymakers did not want to appear, quote, you know, soft

uncommonism. Then we're going to let the fucking reds push anyone out of power that they had placed in power, even if it was clear across the world, and, you know, not strategically important to them. They wanted to remind Moscow that no one pushes them around. So with the US, you and in South Korea, you know, forces pinned against the sea at Busan, to of South Korea, MacArthur crosses the 38th parallel and pursues the North Korean army all the way to the northernmost provinces of North Korea. Of course he did. Dude was a military badass.

Dude snapped on fucking bullets. Dude shit those Rambo survival knives with the matches inside and the compass on the handle. Dude wore napalm for Cologne. Well afraid that the US was interested in taking North Korea as a base for operations against Manchuria, the People's Republic of China then joined in on the fight and secretly sent an army across the Yaldo River. The Chinese army attacked the US, UN, ROK forces, and then Lieutenant General Matthew Ridgeway was appointed as commander of ground forces and the US and Chinese communists

battled ferociously. President Truman, meanwhile, has been hoping to end the war quickly, and he's only interested in liberating South Korea. And he presses McArthur to be a little more tactful about been hoping to end the war quickly. And he's only interested in liberating South Korea. And he presses MacArthur to be a little more tactful about how he speaks about the war. You know, don't talk about fucking taking over the whole peninsula. We're cool with South Korea. That's what we want. Well, then the general goes rogue against presidential orders and continues spouting incendiary

lines about his hopes to reunify the entire peninsula. He wants to destroy North Korean Communists, even without presidential backing to do so. He hates communism as much as fucking bow jangles and Michael motherfucking McDonald hate communism. That's when you know you have some serious nuts. When you report directly to the president, he tells you to watch your mouth and you're like,

nope, the only person who tells five star general does this MacArthur, what to say? His five star general does this MacArthur. Well, you generally don't get to defy presidential orders without consequences, even if you are a five star general does this MacArthur? Well, you generally don't get to defy presidential orders without consequences, even if you are five star general. And after gaining the support of the joint chiefs of staff, Truman relieved MacArthur of his command. The move was extremely unpopular in America. MacArthur was a popular war hero from World War Two, and it was talk of impeaching Truman after he fired MacArthur. Ridgeway took MacArthur's

command, and he stopped pushing the war towards China and held off the communist with strong fortifications and entrenchments just north of the 38th parallel, sending occasional offensive against the iron triangle. That was a little communist stage in area for attacks into South Korea just above the 38th parallel. Peace negotiations drag on from 1951 and 1982. The US tries using strategic bombing to intimidate the communists into negotiating a peace treaty, but they won't budge, particularly on the issue of prisoner of war, repatriation. Neither side wants to appear weak until the talks drag on, occasionally breaking down for months of time.

Only after Eisenhower, who was a war hero, and was unafraid of Republican criticisms and see himself as a Republican, becomes president, does the US make substantial concessions to the Communists and then ends the war for our country in 1953 a ceasefire Is agreed to that ends the Korean War Returns Korea to a divided status essentially the same as it was directly before the war Both sides agreed to a demilitarized zone at the 38th parallel in St. Trivia a peace treaty was written up But was never signed by both North and South Korea. So technically those two countries still at war So now you have a divided North and South Korea

with the equivalent of a big wall between them, one side communist, one side democratic. Very similar situation to East and West Germany at this time. Almost, you know, it's almost the same timeline as well. You have people who were able to travel throughout all of Korea, just as recently as a few years earlier, people who have been oppressed by the Japanese throughout the entire peninsula for decades, occupiers who tried to impose Japanese culture in Korea

and minimize Korean culture, occupiers who basically took over all of Korean industry and exploited native Koreans, and then you're free from that oppressive occupation only to have the lands split in two by two massive military powerhouses with very different political ideologies, and then suddenly Koreans above theth parallel, are forced to be communist, oppressed in a totally different way, and Koreans south of this arbitrary line, are forced to be Democrats. And the two sides are a war.

A war that claimed the lives of over two million Koreans, over half of whom were civilians, at a time when the whole peninsula had a total population of a little over 30 million. One in 15 Koreans died in that war. Now if you live in Seoul, South Korea, but you have family in Pyongyang, tough shit, you never get to see him again.

Can you imagine that? If you live in Dallas, Texas, but you're from Chicago, and then another civil war breaks out along the Mason Dixon line, big demilitarized zone, fucking is established, and you never get to see your family up north again,

or your family down south, that's fucking crazy. Although I'm sure we all have a few family members we'd love to have an excuse to lose contact with this. Oh man Uncle Bobby. I uh we would love to have you out for Thanksgiving dinner. You know that but with the whole new civil war it's it's just not going to be possible. It is just not possible. I you know what I shouldn't even be talking to you. I'm not going to talk to you after this. Uh it's It's illegal to talk to you to that are now. What? Oh, it's not illegal?

Yeah, well, you know, I heard it was gonna be illegal soon, so I feel like it's best just to get used to it now. So the DMZ, let's talk about that for a second. This is the board of the divides North and South Korea. Two and a half miles wide runs clear across the peninsula. Within the DMZ is a meeting point between the two nations in the small joint security area near the western end of the zone. That's where negotiations take place. And though the zone separating

both sides is the militarized beyond that strip of this border, one of the most heavily militarized borders in the world. So there's nothing in that little 2.5 mile ban and then on either side of it like the most military occupation, you know, and just kind of you know artillery setups and stuff in the world and Seoul is only 31 35 miles thousand of DMC, which is a fucking bummer since North Korea has as many as 13,000 artillery pieces positioned along that border many of them within range and presumably Aimed directly at Seoul one of the world's most densely populated cities, a city of more than 10 million people. North Korea also has an estimated 300 ballistic missiles, most of which are also pointed at Seoul. Some estimates suggest that the Korean People's Army could hit Seoul with at least 500,000 artillery shells and less

than an hour. Some analysts claim that North Korea could reduce sold to rubble in about two hours. The US, which has several military bases near the DMZ and its allies could then destroy North Korea's artillery units eventually, but not before the destruction of South Korea's capital. The damage could be even worse if North Koreans decide to use chemical rounds or you know, fucking drop some nukes.

That's a fun level of tension to live with, huh? And South Koreans truly are fucking stressed. While the country fun level of tension to live with, huh? You know, and South Koreans truly are fucking stressed while the country has one of the fastest rising standards of living in the world and its kids are among the best educated in the world. Also has some of the world's highest rates of both alcohol consumption and suicide. Of course it does. That'll be stressful as hell. That'll be like living in Malibu, California. You know, I'm just writing down a coast, it's fucking beautiful, but knowing that just over the hill and down the Valley and Burbank, there are hundreds and hundreds of missiles pointed at you and the person who gets to shoot those missiles is a mentally unstable leader.

Or like, you know, like, what if you live in New York City, but then Kim Jong-un is living across the fucking Bay, there are New Jersey. It's crazy. Or across the Hudson River, fucking whatever. There are a large number of troops still stationed along both sides of the DMB. Each side guarding against potential aggression from the other side. The armistice agreement explains exactly how many military personnel and what kind of weapons are allowed in the DMZ. Soldiers from both sides may patrol inside the DMZ, but they may not cross the MDL, which is the military demarcation line that runs through the center of it. And random trivia, there's actually two villages inside the DMZ.

What a fun place to live that would be. One belongs to South Korea and one belongs to North Korea. And they're like a mile apart. The South Korean village of Tae Sung-dong has only around 200 people living in it, almost all of whom are farmers and the farmers. And then the North Korean village of Ki Jong-Tong is believed to actually not be a true town at all. It's like a fake town, they think,

and it just houses hundreds of soldiers who work just outside the DMZ, man and those missiles and artillery weapons and shit. There are farms around that village also, and also a bunch of loudspeakers, constantly blasting North Korean propaganda, like super loud to South Korean village. Can you imagine living in Taisong-dong?

It's fucking insane. Being able to look across the valley and see people who look a lot like you, but lead a polar opposite life and happen to listen to those messages and all, like they run in the messages 24 hours a day. Why would you fucking live there? One side free, the other side ridiculously brainwashed and oppressed. Okay. Enough about the DMZ. Let's talk about North Korea. It's earlier years and life in what has been called the Hermit Kingdom since the formation of the DMZ. I bagged on communism about how press North Koreans are and you'll soon find out why they are so oppressed. But they have had some pretty amazing leaders. Okay. Let's first let's talk about Kim Il Sung, the father of North Korea, the great leader,

the heavenly leader, the son, the originator of the sun dynasty, the immortal, the master of propaganda, the master of popets, Metallica, justice for all, ride the lightning. Sorry, I ran a little long on titles and I got away from North Korean into thrash metal. Many of those Koreans actually do believe that Kim Il Sung is an Almighty God who created the world in seven days as a divine spirit millions of years ago and then came to Earth as a human in 1912 as a Messiah-like figure. Why do they believe that? Well, because they've been taught that their whole lives. And to not openly believe it means imprisonment and death. Anyway, you know, he derts true or he was born in Korea in 1912 in a small village near Pyongyang, sliding out of a small Korean vagina. You know, one of those things is true. And real life, Kim was a son of parents who fled to Manchuria during his childhood to escape the Japanese occupation of Korea and a famine.

He attended elementary school in Manchuria and while still a student joined the Communist Youth Organization. It was either that or go Goth and Kim's father was super against both earplugs and black makeup and he also did not like industrial metal. No. Kim Il Sung was arrested and jailed for his activities with the group of 1929, 1930. After Kim's release from prison, he joined the Korean guerrilla resistance

against Japanese occupation. Sometime during the 1930s, Kim was noticed by the Soviet military authorities who sent him to the Soviet Union for military and political training there. He joined the local Communist Party. During World War II, Kim led a Korean contingent as a major in the Soviet army.

After the Japanese surrender in 1945, Korea was effectively divided between the Soviet occupied northern half, you know, US supported southern half. At this time, Kim returned to other Soviet trained Koreans to establish a communist provisional government under Soviet guidance in what would become Norse Korea. He became the first premier of the newly formed Democratic People's Republic of Korea in 1948 and in 1949 became chairman of the Korean Workers' Communist Party and then president. And fun fact, he's still president, even though he died in 1994.

1988, six years before he died, he was named the eternal president of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea, the DPRK. The Constitution of North Korea was amended on September 5, 1998, to include, quote, under the leadership of the Workers' Party of Korea, the Democratic People's Republic of Korea and the Korean people will hold the great leader, Comrade Kim Il Sung and Hyossteem

as the eternal president of the Republic. And how is he able to rule after having died? Well, because he's not really dead. This fucker is a high lender. He's immortal. Remember, he's a god. A ridiculous cultural personality around Kim has developed since before the Korean War.

Statues of Kim Il Sung were erected around North Korea as early as 1949. A ridiculous cultural personality around Kim has developed since before the Korean War. Statues of Kim Il Sung were erected around North Korea as early as 1949. Now there's over 500 statues of Kim Il Sung around North Korea. And an insane mythology has been taught to the Korean population for decades now. Like they're so brainwashed. Kim Il Sung could control the weather with his mind. And he and he alone made the sunrise for Korea each morning. According to one of his official North Korean biographies,

Kim fought Japanese Manchurian forces from 1932 to 1945, more than 100,000 times, never losing a single engagement. This means it came from an average of over 20 battles a day. Every single day, always victoriousally. I think jerking off 100,000 times in 13 years would be an impressive borderline miraculous accomplishment. Jerking off 20 times a day,

for over a decade would be legendary. But this dude, no, he won 20 battles a day. You know, just flat out won them. Amazing that Japan is still standing at, forgetting his ass kicked 100,000 times by this one dude. Right, how do they find time to fight the US and the Iwo Jima or Bob Pro Harbor when just one guy is fucking them up 20 times a day.

Just kind of, it's almost like a super ridiculous lie. Kim Il Sung didn't fucking play. He didn't, he woke up, he fought like five tempered battles before breakfast and he had some like, you know, eggs on rice or whatever. And then five more battles before lunch, he had some Korean barbecue, maybe some ramen, some soup, whatever, Korean Immortals eat. Then took like a quick nap. Then he fought like five or six more battles before lunch, had some Korean barbecue, maybe some ramen, some soup, whatever, Korean Immortals eat.

Then, like a quick nap, then any five or six more battles had some steak for dinner, because champions of all ethnicities have fucking steak for dinner. Then you won four or five more battles, and then you called it a day. This is the kind of shit North Koreans are taught at school. Like, they're tested on crazy stories like this.

Yet, somehow this professional ass kicker couldn't win a single war against South Korea. You'd think that would damage his reputation as an ass kicker a little bit. Huh, hmm, to spend, doctor. Soon's defeat was spun and told to North Koreans as a story about how he never attacked South Korean in the first place, never attacked them at all.

Now, he wasn't interested in attacking South Korea. Come on, if he was, they'd be gone. The US wanted to attack him. That's what happened according to him and they did but then those evil capitalist aggressors couldn't defeat him how could they he's a 20 battle a day fucking ass kicker and he repelled their attacks basically single handedly and refused to let his country be taken over by imperialistic american scumbags fuck yeah I did he even told his people he he he beat the pit bull bulge angles in a ball licking competition

Crazy stories of impossible victories and this pathologically lying maniac was the first leader leader of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea and there was never anything democratic about it He alone ran shit in the Soviet Union helped him He made sure his Soviet comrade brothers didn't knock him off his new throne too When the Soviet Union started back at another party member shortly after he came into power, the dude, Pachyan, Pachyan Young, a brief leader of the Korean Communist Party, Kim Yel Sung had him killed and he had other rivals killed as well. Perge all kinds of rivals and potential rivals in the first few years of his rule. He had people who disagreed with him killed, people who didn't like killed, people who lived

in funny, had them killed, people who smelled funny were killed, people who were funny were killed. Seriously, you accepted he was a supreme immortal leader of the land or you died. And Kim Il Sung ruled in a living hands-on way until 1994 when he decided to no longer hold his mortal form. And then his son Kim Jong Il took power. And Kim Jong Il may have had even more magical powers than his father. Kim Jong Il was born in Russia in 1941 while his dad was busy with him in 20 battles the

day during World War II. Amazing. He had time for sex with all the fighting. He did so much, you guys. He did so much. First off, just like his dad, he was able to switch his birthplace. That's no easy feat. Even though people not from North Korea know he was born in the Soviet Union because that's where his parents definitely lived when he was born. Legend has it. He was born in the cabin on the slopes of Baytou Mountain, an active volcano on the border of North Korea and China. Fuck yeah, I was. Legends don't get born in some Soviet hospital. They don't get pulled out of their moms vagina by some burly middle aged barrel-chested

Borscht Slurpen Russian nurse. No, uh-uh. Legends are born of volcanoes. Everybody knows that. At the moment of his birth, a new star formed. Yes, it did. And illuminated the sky, which is completely impossible since it takes a very long time for star's light to reach the earth, but it doesn't matter.

The seasons, they suddenly change from winter to spring. I'm talking instantaneously. Again, impossible. If you're not a flat-earther and believe seasons vary with the tilt of our big ball of a planet rotating around the sun, it doesn't matter. And you guys, a double rainbow appeared, which is possible and hilarious. Does they decided to include that detail into his legend? And all this is written in spread of the public as facts by people who don't believe any of it. What a strange job to be a propaganda

person in the North Korean government. I would love to just witness one of their meetings, like where they decide this kind of shit, you know? Okay, okay. So we're going to volcano, right? I mean, we're going go with Tewis born to volcano. Oh, yeah, yeah, definitely, definitely volcano. We decided born in the back of a dragon was cool, but you know, too much. It's just too much. No one's gonna be able to visit a dragon,

see, you know, but a volcano, that's a real place. People can visit that and they can think, oh, yeah, this is where Kim Jong-il was born. This is where he turned winter to spring. Totally, totally, that makes total sense. And what if, uh, check this, hey, hey, check that, check this out out. What if when he was born, a rainbow appeared. And then immediately after that, the guy who said just rainbow is fucking dragged out of the meeting by two armed guards who just appear almost instantly, they rushing out of nowhere,

they grabbing, they dragging on the hallway, you hear a single gunshot and a body hit the floor, and then another calm he just propaganda dude immediately takes his seat. And he just says, what if a double rainbow is formed? The other guy's sweatin' like crazy. Exactly, that's exactly right, double rainbow. Single rainbow, that's dumb. That denotes a common peasant. He's not, he's not a common peasant. And a triple rainbow is absurd. Double rainbow is right, and then they just fucking, they wait for someone to drag them out and then no one does, and the meeting's over. And the legend gets even better. Kim Jong, I sound like Casey Kase in there for a second.

And the legend gets even better this week. Only top 40 Casey Kase in countdown. Kim Jong Il, check this out, he learned to walk in just three weeks, and he was talking at just eight weeks old. That's incredible considering a baby learning to walk just a few feet at six months old made international news back in 2007. Amazing considering that Michael Kerney, a child prodigy who became the youngest person ever in the world to graduate college at age 10 in 1994 supposedly spoke his first words of four months. Fuck first words, Kim Jong Il was running around having full conversations when most babies are still getting their eyes to focus.

While most babies are figuring out a suck on their stupid baby thumbs, really amazing accomplishment for a man who was also a lifelong stutterer. That's why you never hear Kim Jong Il speak on videos, just pictures of him. Dude was embarrassed to speak in public, thought it made him look weak because of the stuttering, he couldn't master even though he started speaking, you know, before he was even two months old, maybe he started too early. Maybe that's what happens when he starts being early. You get a stutter for your rest of your life.

Now, it is interesting, you know, learning to talk at eight weeks, couldn't do it without stuttering at, you know, 60 years old. And what else? Kim Jong-il also wrote 1500 books in three years during his time at Kim Sung- Il University from where he graduated in 1964. That's almost two books a day. That's writing full on books, two, almost two a day

every day for three years straight, not taking day off. Which books you may ask you, think you would know the titles if you wrote 1500. Well, how about the classic history of Korea called Don't worry about it. How about the dystopian fiction trilogy of Trust Me? This shit is great. How about the encyclopedia of stop-ass and so many fucking questions all have your family killed? And he wrote full six full operas in two years. Quote all of which are better than any in the history of music.

Oh, according to his official biography. Again, which opera city he writes, you might ask? Well, you know what? He wrote Phantom of its none of your goddamn business. He wrote The Barber of Seville can suck my magical cock, and he wrote The Divorce of Figaro and subsequent remarriage to some motherfucker who doesn't know shit about shit on the best of everything.

Next question. Still not impressed? We'll check this out. The first time Kim Jong Il picked up a golf club in 1994 as the age of 53 and age when most professional golfers every tire from the PGA and gone on to the seniors tour for PGA golfers over the age of 50 Kim reportedly shot a 38 under par round round on North Korea's only golf course including 11 11 holes in one he then decided to retire from the sport forever 11 Holes in one out of 18 holes the Guinness The Guinness World Record for the most holes in one for one round of golf ever is three set by Patrick Will's in 2015 at Laurel Hill golf club in Virginia and the first time he ever plays golf in 53, he fucking shatters that. That's like never playing baseball, ever, ever, never picking up a bat.

And then just grabbing a bat, going into a major league game, face a major league pitch and hitting like, you know, 11 home runs in your first three games at 53. And you thought you were good at golf. You thought a 33 under par for four rounds of golf was impressive because that's the PGA towards all-time record. Well, Kim Jong-il played one round of golf and he performed over four times better than the best round of golf ever played by the best professional golfer ever. Don't believe it?

Well, you know what? What if we took your entire family hostage and threatened to execute them? Now do you believe it? That's what I thought. Next question. And Kim Jong-il is so much more at the age of 16, comrade Kim Jong-il, having successfully organized a youth league and an organization

for ideological training of revolutionaries set his mind to the task of correcting Korea's housing shortage. Well, within months, by motivating the enthusiasm of fellow student volunteers, he completed building 20,000 of the most comfortable homes people have ever lived in ever. His dad won, he battled the day, and he built a couple hundred, no wait, not a couple hundred.

Yeah, he built a couple hundred of the most comfortable homes ever built a day, every day for months. As a teenager with no prior building experience, man, this family gets shit done. He also controlled the weather with his mind, little tricky picked up from his pop, and he never needed to pee or poo because his body was perfectly efficient.

And he, and he, and he invented the hamburger. Ah, this shit is ridiculous. This stuff is taught in school. Ah, he didn't pee or poo. He controls the weather with his mind, and he invented the hamburger. I love what a weird third one This man he controls weather with his mind

He does not need to defecate and most impressive. He invented the hamburger Even though it'd been invented before he was born. Oh my god never never Peter poo You think the guy who invented the hamburger would have at least taken one big ol' cheeseburger shit in his life But you know what Kim Jong-il was simply the fucking best and when he died on December 17th 2011 North Korea Wept so much weeping so much weeping everyone cried hysterically. You can see the videos So over the top and how are people able to weep so much like an inhuman level of weeping? Well, they had help those who do not know how to fake cry hysterically were taught so to do so by instructors. And those who did not not go into extreme

public mourning were reportedly sent to prison labor camps for six months. Wow. And just like his dad, Kim Jong-il continues to rule and death. His title is General Secretary. You know, that's what he had in life and it was made eternal and he eternally watches over the people in North Korea and helps them rule Fucking sure he does and then after Kim Jong-il's transition to some kind of zombie leader With his zombie leader dad his son Kim Jong-un currently takes the throne And he owes a title of first secretary the third Kim to rule North Korea and just like his dad and his granddad He's a dickhead. I mean, dictator. And Kim Jong-Un is also legendary as fuck.

So legendary, you guys. According to a North Korean grade school textbook, Kim Jong-Un started driving at the age of three. I know that sounds crazy, but when you take into consideration his dad walked at three weeks, it almost seems like it took him too long to learn how to drive, to be honest. Like why wasn't he driving professionally at six months? You know, he probably learned he probably learned to drive 12 weeks but he's so humble you guys. He's so humble. He told everyone to come and tell you who's three just to make him feel better. Well, according to the book, Kim Jong-un's Revolutionary Activities, which I'm guessing is a mandatory bestseller in North Korea. The Korean leader also raised the chief executive of a foreign yacht company and overcame

great odds to clinch the race at nine years old, even though it was his first ever yacht race, even though he probably wasn't big enough to control a yacht. You know what? And in case you forgot, we are all huge fans of Kim Jong-un's music here in the US. He's an internationally famous composer, artist, and musician. This is what North Korea teaches his kids. And we celebrate his birthday over here every year because he's universally beloved

and he's recognized as one of the greatest world leaders of all time. Did you forget that? This is what the kids are actually taught. When Kim Jong-un songs, you know, they fucking hit the charts, they go to the top and they stay there. And what songs does he have?

You ask since he's so famous? Well, you know what, he wrote the summer hit, I wrote every single hit ever. And you also probably remember his song, Holy Shit, the song is fire. And then there's my personal favorite. If you don't like this song, I'll have your family work to death

at a prison labor camp. Man, the more I read about these guys' legends, the more I wish I had Mona Legends. I need to start a time-suck mythology. You know what, I know previously I said that I was born and I had hope, but now that I really think about it, I actually walked fully formed out of Lord Nimrod God of time sucks head

I'm one of four beans not formed from his alpha omega ball sack me bow jangles Michael motherfucking McDonald and Grammy winning soul singer and triple M collaborator James Highlander Ingram Right, we were all born as gods. You may remember James in addition to his immortal vocal contribution to Yamalbi there. Uh, for also singing along with Moka Yamalbi there. I had to get it out. He also sang along with Moka's skinned mama and sweet R&B angel, Patti Austin. The 1983 Billboard hot 100 chart topping single, Baby Come to me. Baby come to me. Let me put my arms around you. This was meant to be. And I'm also glad I found you need you every day.

Gotta have your love around me. Baby, always stay. Cause I can't go back to living without you. Oh, yeah rock. Official musical genre of time. So I can tell go back to living without you. Oh, yeah, rock. Official musical genre of time, so I can tell Nimrod to close otherwise. Also, not sure I mentioned, I'm banned from Jeopardy because I tried out for the show and a couple years back.

And I answered 100 questions correctly, even though I only asked 75 questions. I also played the NFL for one half of action. And the last Super Bowl, Super Bowl 51, Tom Brady was actually taken out of the game a half time. And I pretended to be Tom Brady in the second half. Ork is straight into greatest comeback in football history,

despite not playing a game of football ever. You know, I also didn't go pick up my dog Penny. You know, I have a wonderful dog Penny and I never picked her up, never bought her, never got her from a shelter. I fucking created her, all right? I wanted the cutest dog in the world. I closed my eyes, I concentrated, and when I opened

him again, there was a puppy there that loved me. Also, I created online shopping, I invented mocus, I created chumblewumba, and when I got sick of listening to tub thumping, I had him destroyed, I had him knocked down, and they've never gotten back up again. Oh, and I invented bat tubs, I invented four deflin' fifties, frozen yogurt, and I invented nipples, okay? I invented fucking nipples, so if you defenities, frozen yogurt, and I invented nipples, okay? I invented fucking nipples. So if you have nipples, you're welcome.

Okay, so those are some facts about me, some of the legends surrounding the first three leaders of North Korea. But what do these preposterous assholes actually do in real life? How does their country actually function? Okay, well when Kim Il Sung was placed in power by the Soviets, I think I called him Kim Il-Early, Kim Il Sung. He was placed in charge of a communist nation, the status in charge of everything.

Initially, in the 1950s, 60s and 70s, it actually didn't work out too bad for the average North Korean citizen. Through trading partnerships with other communist nations like the Soviet Union and China, the nation was able to function at a pretty high level. Many North Koreans were actually better off than South Koreans as far as the average quality of life goes. With foreign aid, initially pouring in from the Soviet Union, who were interested in spreading communism worldwide at eventually crushing America and winning the Cold War, they were more advanced than South Korea initially. How officially, in this new communist nation, everything in the country from businesses to

their close-up ones back belong to North Korean state. Private land was given to the state and wasn't there, you know, now owned by everybody. The regime rebuilt Pyongyang as its socialist capital. There was a huge focus on industrialization by the 1960s. North Korea was the second most industrialized nation in East Asia, trailing only Japan. By the early 60s, things appeared to be going so well in North Korea that many several thousand ethnic Koreans in Japan started to migrate back to North Korea, where they believed that they had greater opportunities. An estimated 90,000 ethnic Koreans living in Japan returned to North Korea between 1956 and 1965.

The state provided housing for all citizens. Housing was good for its time. People had electricity, modern appliances, gave it citizens food rations. Enough rations, not to just exist, but thrive on. All the North Korean kids went to school. The state provided hospitals, clothing, everything you worked for and got taken care of by the state and the state worked for and took care of you. Kim Il Sung was genuinely beloved by many of his people.

The new nation seemed to be a socialist paradise. But then the relationship with the Soviet Union began to sour. The communist nation that founded North Korea and subsidized its ability to take care of its people, giving it communist friendly trade rates, supplying it with much of its food and energy needs. That relationship started to wane in the mid-80s. Gorbachev began to reduce age in North Korea after 1985 in favor of reconciliation with South Korea, who's potentially a better trading partner.

They had more and better goods to be had. Military age started to wane for North Korea. The last batch of MG 29 fighter jets delivered by the Soviets in 1989. And then with the disillusion of the Soviet Union beginning in the late 80s, Moscow began losing control of many of its communist states, such as Estonia, Kazakhstan, Armenia, Lithuania, Ukraine,

et cetera. And by the early 90s, aid was cut off entirely to North Korea. Russia had its own shit to deal with. The Soviet block was fucking crumbling and falling apart and shit got real ugly for North Koreans. You don't get your people to believe you're living God unless you cut off contact with the outside world.

It's the only way to effectively brainwash a big group of people. Just like cold leaders cut off ties with cold members' families, North Korea had cut off contact with the rest of the fucking world. Because North Korea is essentially one giant cult that no one is allowed to walk away from. Well, now citizens, and then in this cult citizens have to get permission to travel to different areas of their own country,

to travel outside the country for the average citizen is completely banned. And because of a hostile relationship with non-communist nations, North Korea has few important trading partners outside of the Soviet Union. And when the Soviets abandon them, they don't build new relationships quickly.

And due to occasional skirmishes with South Korea, the US and the UN, and when the Soviets abandon them, they don't build new relationships quickly and due to occasional skirmishes with South Korea, the US and the UN, in addition to human rights violations, there's a lot of sanctions and trade embargoes preventing, you know, North Korea from getting important goods. And unfortunately for the average citizen they also don't have the infrastructure to be self-reliant. And so shiko-south real quick, like for instance they didn't have enough factories to produce chemical fertilizer to keep all of their farms going large farms used to feed a large population And they used to buy fertilizer from the Soviet Union and now that's gone and then due to UN sanctions They can't get it from China either then a series of floods and droughts hits North Korea's agricultural regions in the mid 1990s and the result is not enough food for everyone the result is a great famine

The government also won't make necessary political concessions to get proper international aid. What little food aid they do get to give the military. So the average citizen starves to death. Around 3 million North Koreans out of a total population of roughly 22 million at that time starved to death between 1994 and 1998. The state can't take care of its people. Comments of justice and working but the regime isn't going to relinquish its power, and North Korea becomes a living hell. I read a great book, Research in this episode, recommended me by TimeStuck social media manager and TimeStuck or Sydney Shives called, In order to live, a North Korean girl's journey

to freedom, it's written by Park Young-mi, who lived through the great famine and who lived through other periods of famine in North Korea, and she said things would get so bad that the government would tell citizens not to waste its poop. Basically there was a message of we don't need fertilizer plants will make our own fertilizer. Citizens were encouraged to grow their own gardens on their tiny state apartment balconies you know or in their tiny little state house yards use their own poop for fertilizer to supplement the food rations given to them by the government which become too

small to survive on. And poop became so in demand that neighbors would steal each other's poop. Most people in rural areas pooping in outhouses because the state didn't give most of its comrades their own bathrooms. So then you have to worry about not being able to grow your own vegetables because people were quite literally stealing your shit after shit and bags and stuff and keep it. Man, worrying about poop thieves. What an unimaginable cartoonish level of poverty

and governmental insanity. You're a leader, such a tremendous dipshit that due to sanctions, trading bar goes, not understanding he doesn't have enough farmable land to feed his own starving population and then not being able to buy fertilizer from South Korea because he sunk one of their ships like an asshole. Now you have to fertilize your teeny tiny home garden

with your own shit. Parents actually pressuring kids not to poop at school. You know what? You pooped at school? What are you trying to kill us? I got neighbors stealing my poop and now this. My own son dropping off dudes at this school like an asshole.

Why not just shit in my mouth so I can choke on your traders, defecations and dial already. Wow. Now, did everyone have this bad in North Korea during the famine? No. Most people did.

Not everyone. Most people did and most people belonged during the famine? No. Most people did. Not everyone. Most people did, and most people belong to the lower castes. Kim Il Sung had created a whole new social system from 1957 to 1960 after he consolidated his power in North Korea, created the Songbun cast system. Everyone in this new social cast system were ranked among three main groups based on their supposed loyalty to the regime. Highest of the groups is the core class made up of honored revolutionaries,

peasants, veterans, and the war to free Korea from Japanese occupation or the war to fight off US imperialists or relatives of those who fought or died from the North. These wars make up this class. This class gets the most desirable state homes, the most desirable state jobs, the best rations, access to the best hospitals, the best doctors, or kids go to the best schools, et cetera.

They get to live in better areas like Pyongyang, the capital, Biggest City, North Korea. The second cast is the basic or wavering class, made up of those who once lived in South Korea or had family there. Former merchants, intellectuals, or ordinary people not trusted to be completely loyal to the regime make up this class. And they access to whatever job, schools, homes, etc. aren't being taken up by the core class members. They also get to live in pretty good areas for the most part. There's the hostile class, the third and lowest class of the caste system.

This is former landowners and their descendants. Capitalists, former South Korean soldiers, Christians, religious followers, families, or political prisoners, other perceived enemies of the state. And most don't even get to live in Pyongyang. That's to live in rural areas, industrial cities, little villages, worked the most arduous and menial of jobs. They toil away on state-ran farms, state-run factories for almost nothing,

given the tiniest fucking rations and money, barely enough to live on, or in some cases not enough to live on. And Kim uses this caste system to maintain control of its citizens to hire up in the system to better life is for you, falling far enough down to mean poverty and starvation. And what can get you sent down a level or what you get you put in a lower level initially is fucking ridiculous. The state took over private ownership of land in the first few years of power.

And if you were landowner, that most likely meant you were an elite member of a society friendly with Japanese occupiers, and now you're fuck you buddy, get out. You were in, but now you're out, you're headed to the bottom, you're in a presser, and we've got some new oppressors in town, and one of the things new oppressors hate above all else is old oppressors.

Can you imagine that? One day you have a nice house, you've worked hard for, worked your whole life for. You're living on land, you work really hard to buy. You saved up for a nice retirement. Your kids are going to a nice school. But then some new dickhead takes over and is like, listen up. Everyone who is rich, now you're fucking poor. We're not only going to take everything you worked for, we're also going to send you to the very bottom of our new cast system, which will make it virtually impossible for you to earn any of it back. The poor people who fought along with me, they're going to have your stuff now.

Unless they're a supporter, you know, too well liked by my other supporters, then I'm going to have them executed for being a potential threat. Reminds me of how Vlad the impaler did shit, you know, and last week sucked. Once he got into power, you know, he had the boyards, the wealthy elite impaled or forced into slave labor and invited his henchmen and the poor into the noble class. So as I've said, extremely difficult to move up a cast, but very easy to drop down a level. There are more than 50 subgroups within each Sung-Bun cast

system, and you are constantly being monitored by party members and also by coworkers, neighbors, and family, who are all course to spy on each other all the time and report their findings to authorities, and your cast is constantly being adjusted. Only top cast members are allowed to join the Workers' Party, the ruling Communist Party that Kim is belong to, and the only part of that matters is North Korea where they're given, again, access to the best jobs, homes, educational opportunities, etc.

And success now is suddenly based in this new regime on loyalty, or rather perceive loyalty rather than any kind of actual merit. Can't imagine being that scrutinized monitor. It's already like 1984 over there. The top police are already in charge. Well, okay. So let's dig into exactly how bad things are into a little more detail with some examples and how bad things have been in North Korea with some super scary stuff.

Compiled from a year's worth of testimony from former residents in North Korea, Judge Michael Kirby's report into human rights abuses by Pyongyang published in 2014 run some 372 pages long, and it is filled with crazy shit like, you can be punished for having the wrong kind of baby. Authorities pursued a strict practice of prohibiting families who had a child or adult member with a mental or serious physical disability from residing in Pyongyang. The policy was apparently motivated by a desire to maintain the image of a clean capital city

whose population corresponded to the ideal form of a pure Korean race. According to one of the testifiers, if someone was born with a disability or became a person with a disability, that person and their family, their entire family, would be sent away from Pyongyang to live in the countryside.

But imagine that. You have a child born with Down syndrome and despite being like a good communist, you have been loyal to the regime your whole life, you and your entire family are then forced to abandon your home, give up your life, move to some small village far away from the capital, work some menial job, and a job that is going to entail less food rations, you're forced into a new reality where your chance of starvation

are now much greater, you have far less comfort all because your baby was born with a birth defect. These people are fucking monsters. Defectures are not tolerated at all in this regime. A woman named Miz Kwan Yee spoke to the Human Rights Commission about her brother who was arrested in China in 1994 for attempting to defect from the DPRK. This dude had gone to China in search of food. He was literally starving to death during the Great Famine. He was diabetic. His government wasn't given enough food to live on, he was given him no treatment for his diabetes, a condition which had caused the army to discharge him, left him without a job.

He was arrested for trying to leave. And then as an example to others against committing similar anti-state offenses, he's tied to the back of a truck and dragged around his hometown of Musaan. By the time he reached Musaan, his face is covered in blood from being constantly savagely beaten by guards. His clothes are all torn apart. He falls down when the truck has stopped. They make him stand up again.

She says, even when my brother collapsed, the truck would go on and locals, when my brother collapsed, encouraged by the guards, would beat my brother to make him stand up. Musaan is a big city, but they drove him around Musaan city three times so that everyone could see him and take a shot. Fucking beaten to a bloody pulp for trying to keep from starving.

That's the kind of government North Korea has. Another witness spoke to the commission about having spent five months in prison in a prison work camp. And the camp inmates only received five spoons of boiled corn three times a day with no vegetables or salt. Fucking five spoons of boiled corn three times a day. Imagine living on that. Imagine trying to provide manual labor all day long

on that meal plan. Man, they literally work people to death. All these, and these are not like murderers, rapists, and child molesters. These are people suspected of like, you know, take talking shit about Kim Jong-un or people who tried to escape the country to feed their families.

People who got caught with some candy snuck in from another nation. It's like that kind of crime gets you sent to these work camps. Inmates would also receive some hot water to drink. That's nice. Give them hot water to drink. The witness traded his Chinese quality clothes with other prisoners who received extra

food sent by relatives. Adults were forced to work for 10 hours a day in brick lane, timber cutting and farming. Brick lane and timber cutting on fucking corn, spoonfuls of corn syrup. If they did not fill their day work quarter they had to work longer the witnesses The witness was spared because the authorities thought he was still a child so malnourished He didn't develop properly into adult size and that's got him you know less work in this camp He personally witnesses witness 13 men dying during his time in the camp their bodies were wrapped up and left for days So the other inmates could see them to instill fear in them. The guards would tell them, this is what happens when you abandon your country. Baby murder. Also done a lot in North Korea,

killing babies. It's a totally a thing there for the regime. Babies thought to be racially impure or are aborted or murdered shortly after birth. Here's another story from this commission. Ms. Ji-yeon recalled watching a mother force to suffocate her child moments after giving birth. Here's another story from this commission. Ms. Ji-Yan recalled watching a mother force to suffocate her child moments after giving birth. There was this pregnant woman who was about nine months pregnant who had been forced to work all day in an attention camp. She had briefly escaped to China and there was a possibility that the baby's father was Chinese. The baby was crying as it was born. We were so curious. This was the first time we saw a baby being born here. So we were watching this baby and we were so happy. But suddenly we heard the footsteps.

The security agent came in and the agent said that, usually when a baby is born, we would wash it in a bowl of water. But this agent told us to put the baby in the water upside down. So the mother was begging, please let me keep the baby. Please forgive me. But this agent kept beating this woman, the mother who had just given birth. And the baby, since it was just born, it was just crying. And the the mother with her shaking hands, she picked up the baby and she put the baby face down in the water. Mom forced to kill her own kid, the baby stopped crying and we saw this water

bubble coming out of the mouth of the baby, and there was an old lady who helped with the labor, she picked up the baby from the bowl of water once the baby had died and left the room quietly. So those kinds of things repeatedly happened. This was in the detention center in the city of Chongjin. Beading a fucking mom who had just given birth and having her murder her baby. I'd say these motherfuckers are pure evil, but honestly, most of them are probably just terrified.

Kim Jong-un is pure evil. Most of his regime are probably just terrified that if they don't carry out his fucking evil deeds, they're gonna be killed, because that's what happens all the time. If we can capture Kim Jong-un someday, he should have to stay in the worst prison ever. Like, maybe not even in a prison. Just cram his chubby ass into like a dog house for the rest of his life.

Make him stay inside a carry on suitcase. Make him stay inside a fucking car trunk for the rest of his life. Park it in Phoenix all summer long, you know, in 125 degree heat, put it in Fairbanks, Alaska all winter long. What a piece of shit. The DPRK reminds me of the Nazis. Were the Nazis mostly evil? Or were they mostly normal people committing evil deeds on behalf of a few evil men who

created an evil empire? I think in these situations, it's usually only a few evil people and a whole bunch of other people who follow along on a fear. Which I guess it could be argued is a different kind of evil. The DPRK website, by the way, www.career-dpr.com. It is janky as fuck. The Timesack website, way better than this entire nation's website. And it lists their mission statement ads. The Democratic People's Republic of Korea is a genuine worker state in which all the

people are completely liberated from exploitation and oppression. The workers, peasants, soldiers, and intellectuals are the true masters of their destiny and are in a unique position to defend their interests. Well, if by unique, you mean no, as in they are in no position to defend their interests and by liberated, you mean tortured and oppressed, I guess maybe that's an accurate description. Famine, apparently according to this commission, is entirely avoidable. Most of the time, according to the commission, the great fan of the 90s was entirely avoidable if the government would have just made some proper moves. If the government of the DPRK had conducted

land reform along the lines of what occurred in China during the 1990s, not one single North Korean would have died from starvation. In the late 70s, China divided all land owned by the state and the land owned by some farmers. It dissolved all state-run farms, which incidentally were similar to DPRK's cooperative farms. Ultimately, when Chinese farmers began to work on the land, they owned themselves. The country's agricultural yield increased rapidly. Within five to six years of implementing the land reform, China's food production increased 1.3 times. But the Kim dynasty isn't about to give anyone anything.

These little tyrannical motherfuckers would rather let millions die. Another agricultural expert who used to be a researcher at Pyongyang University noted farmers have to hand over 70% of their harvest to the state, which limits their incentive to produce more. More over, given the isolation of the DPRK from the world economy, farmers lack access to new technologies that are necessary in order to effectively increase crop yield. Again, if they just stop being assholes and start working with the outside world, they're going to do immensely better.

But that would mean that North Korean people could find that they've been lied to their entire lives and their leaders are not gods. And Kim would rather let, you know, like Kim Jong-un, would rather let the entire nation die than no longer be considered a living god. White spread tortures committed to these detention facilities, a former North Korean official described how a special torture chamber existed at an interrogation detention facility in the province where the witness was deployed. The torture chamber was equipped with a water tank in which suspects could be immersed until the suspect would fear drowning. The room also had wall shackles that were especially arranged to hang people upside down.

Various other torture instruments were also provided, including long needles. That would be driven underneath the suspects fingernails. Oh my god. And a pot with a hot chili pepper concoction that would be poured into the victim's nose when they were fucking suspended upside down. As a result of such a severe torture method, suspects would often admit to crimes they definitely did not commit. Yeah, I fucking bet they did. This is why we can't condone extreme waterboarding in other forms of torture in our nation. For good human rights violations, it doesn't work. You don't get reliable information. When you torture someone to the point, they'll just say anything to get you to stop.

A former MPS official revealed that the pretrial investigation bureau in the headquarters of the Ministry of People Security and Pyeongyang made use of a small metal cage for torture to torture people with. Victims would be crammed into a cage for several hours. Cram so tightly that the circulation of blood to their extremities became interrupted and other parts of their body would swell up and they would turn a rusty brown color

like the people would turn that color. After you move from the cage, the victim would then be abruptly unfolded causing excruciating pain. God damn it man, put in a cage until you turn a rusty brown color. This place is living hell. It's like pinhead from Hellraiser was put in charge. Detainees endure squalded hygienic conditions that facilitate the transmission of diseases, medical care is

provided only to those who are extremely sick or not at all. A considerable number of prisoners die from starvation or disease in these detention centers. In August 2011, agents arrested a 17 year old for watching South Korean movies. He was so badly tortured that his left ankle was shattered and his face was bruised and grossly disfigured. They released him after the family raised a large bribe, and shortly after his release, he dies from a brain hemorrhage which he had suffered as a result of constant beatings endured under interrogation.

Beat to fucking death for watching a movie. In a South Korean movie at that, no fence to the South Korean movie industry, but probably wasn't even a good movie. Overall, you don't hear about a lot of great South Korean movies over here. And the ones you do, usually horror action, like the uninvited or old boy. What if he was beat to death for watching Old Boy, a movie where the main character beats don't even know the death of the fuck. Stories like this do make me understand how suspicious the recent death of former North Korean detainee and US citizen was Otto Wombier. You probably heard him audio audio, uh, Otto Wombier was an American university student who while visiting North Korea as a tourist in January 2016, he was arrested and sentenced to 15 years

imprisonment with hard labor after being convicted of trying to steal a propaganda poster from his hotel. 15 years of hard labor in an North Korean, North Korean prison labor camp, the kind where people are worked to death for taking a poster off a hotel wall. And there's surveillance video of the alleged crime you can watch online showing him taking it off the wall, but not showing him take it. He confessed to wanting to take it, but then once he removed it from the wall, he realized it was too bulky to get into suitcase, so he didn't take it.

So really, he got 15 years of hard labor for thinking about stealing a poster, for taking a poster off a wall, one that could be put back on the wall for free. These fucking people are maniacs. I've broken into a hotel office drunk, when I lost my room key one time, and no one was working the desk, so I just went behind the desk and I made and I fucked around with their equipment

and I made my own key. I made my own key. Not one of my fire moments, but it is one of my prouder moments. Now, and show me how to do it. I just figured it out. Figure it out when I was drunk. Not bad. I would be shocked by a firing squad in North Korea for doing something like that. Well, Warme Beard died last month on June 19, 2017. Six days after his return to the US, a return to the US, after surviving in the labor camp for 17 months, he was brain dead. Doctors in the US said his condition was probably caused

by a heart attack, because the blood supply to his brain. Why did a previously healthy 22 year old have a heart attack? We may never know, but I'm guessing it's because he was fucking tortured. Right, put it a little cage. Tell the skin turn brown. Maybe take into the brink of drowning over and over and over again.

North Korean authorities said Warmebeer's coma was a result of botulism and a sleeping pill. Well, fuck that. As of this recording, you can still travel to North Korea, actually, if you want to, just like he did, he can go along with a specialized tour,

but the Trump administration is considering a total travel ban to North Korea. And after researching this subject, that is the Trump travel ban that I actually agree with. And this shit is so common in North Korea. Do you own reported systematic starvation, torture, rape, and many executions at such camps, which hold an estimated total of 80,000 to 120,000 prisoners at any given time in the most registered conditions, which I described. These people lose their teeth, their gums turn black, their bones weaken, they hunch over at the waist, live and die in rags with no soap, socks or underwear.

That's what the Washington Post reported back in 2009. According to one witness, Kim Guangyel, there were hundreds of deaths during his two years and five months at ordinary prison camp. Number 12, Mr. Kim himself was involved in the disposal of bodies of well over 100 prisoners whose bodies would be heaved in a large cart and driven away to be burnt. And then their ash used as fertilizer. Former prisoner sentenced to just 18 months hard labor recalled fellow inmates not surviving amidst the constant beatings and malnutrition. They often work in fields, logging, working minds, no safety measures, working crude factories

where injuries are rampant. And in another account, a man who was arrested as a teenager trying to sneak out of North Korea, Yuck Kim recalled subsisting at a lower level camp by catching rats, drying them out and eating the flesh raw. He said, if he tried to cook the rats, the guards would smell the meat or fire,

catch you and beat you mercilessly. Getting beaten for eating fucking rats. God. And while life is better for the high ranking communists, I wouldn't say life is good. They live in constant fear of being stripped of the rank, kicked out of the party, reclassified as a member of a lower caste, or just flat out executed.

South Korean foreign minister, Yeon Yong-se said that Kim has executed 70 officials since preparing to take over for his father. In late 2011, Kim is alleged to have ordered 15 executions to quell a recent alleged uprising within his inner circle. He recently had his uncle, Zhang Song-Thik, a high-ranking longtime party member. Once rumored to possibly take the throne, killed for trumped-up charges of treachery and

marital infidelity. Analysts say he was probably killed by a firing squad, but there's also a rumor that after he was killed by being stripped naked and then had 120 manchuring hunting dogs that have been starved for a couple days unleashed upon him. Fuck, a man described by the American media as one of the most senior North Korean officials to defect also said Kim had his uncle's wife poisoned

because of her complaints over her husband's execution. God damn, if I can kill this, kill your uncle uncle and your wife's like, I don't like it, you kill my husband. You're like, yeah, well, not your fucking dead. So obviously, North Korea is sorry. So I'm sorry. So I'm sorry. If you really want to get a good feel for what life in North Korea is like, again, read in order to live by Park Young-mi,

written on the book is Yon-mi Park. North Korean names, by the way, are flipped around compared to American names. So it gets a little confusing sometimes. The family name comes first, followed by the given name. That's why it's the Kim dynasty. Kim Lee Park, by far the most common Korean family names, kind of like Smith, Johnson, and Williams

here in the States. Anyway, Park was born in Haesan, an industrial city on the northern border of North Korea, of roughly 200,000 people across the Yalu River from the Chinese city of Chang Bay. And Park talks about a childhood where her family and the other residents of their government housing apartment building,

technically everyone lives in some kind of government housing, some sort would rejoice and literally sing and dance when the electricity would come on. And their shitty appliances would work because it was so infrequent. The power grid in North Korea doesn't provide consistent power to the nation. It's outdated and broken down.

And in high sun, power is important because this place, it can get to 40 degrees Fahrenheit below zero in the winter. And many of its residents, including Park's family, they also didn't have consistently running water. The water system also outdated and broken. So they'd get their water from, you know, Yalu River when the water wasn't working in their pipes. But in the winter, this river freezes over.

And then to get clean water, they'd have to go to one of the cities like very, very, very few wells and pump it by hand. They'd wait all day in line, like hour after hour after hour and 40 degree below zero weather to get a bucket of water to bring home. To make things even more fun, the government didn't provide enough

ration to feed Park's family and they had such little food they could only splurge on one big meal a month for the family. Once a month, Park's mom would make Chinese noodles for everyone instead of the normal meal of a little bit of rice, seaweed soup, and beans. They never got meat, never.

Unfucking real. Think about how shitty that is. You could be poorest fucking this country and still have, you know, get some mac and cheese and some hot dogs. Mac and cheese and hot dogs would be the greatest, most decadent meal Park would have ever eaten in her entire childhood.

So when your kids don't eat their meal, you know what? Talk to him about North Korea. Are you seriously crying? Because I asked you to take two more bites of your stuff, Ravielleys? There are 50,000 North Korean kids who would literally kill you to be able to eat those Ravielleys. Look at your decadent little ass. We're in tiny $80 Nike's.

Well, North Korean kids walking around barefoot, complaining, you don't like your new shirt from Target. You know who would like a shirt from Target? Every fucking kid in high-son. You didn't tie it a little ass hole. You know, who would like a shirt from Target? Every fucking kid in high-son. You didn't title it last hole. Look at you with your chubby little American cheeks. You know, who doesn't have chubby little cheeks? Any kid in North Korea,

not directly related to Kim Jong-un's chubby ass. Don't you fucking dare cry over those raviolis. Park's dad, during the great famine of the mid-90s, had to supplement his income, smuggling shit back and forth across the Allu River, with China to keep his family from starving. And then years later, when he finally gets caught smuggling, he sent to a labor camp in beaten and starved for years.

And without his money, you know, without his extra money, his family almost starves his death, including you on me, the nerve of these totalitarian assholes. And then her entire family's cast status is also knocked down. One time, Park's uncle was charged with raping a student and then her entire family dropped from being party members. This little, not her personally, but like her uncle's family, dropped from being party members all the way down to the bottom cast and they had to move to a smaller town and everything. I mean, punishing the entire family for one family's members' crimes

is huge North Korea. And for some crimes, your entire family can be sent to a prince you can't, like the whole family. North Korea has this three-generation rule, where you commit a crime, and your family can have their cast status dropped for three generations. And in some extreme cases, three generations of a family can be in the same labor prison camp

for one family member's crimes. I read a transcript of a CBS interview with North Korean defector. His grandpa was sent to prison after the Korean war for trying to defect to South Korea during the war. And then, you know, after the war, he sent to a prison camp and also his son is sent there for good measure. So this guy's father.

And then as a reward for good behavior in the camp, years later, this defector's father is allowed to marry another prisoner. So then they had him, and for the first 23 years of his life, he lived in a prison war camp because his grandpa had tried to defect long before he was born. These people are insane in this government over there. Yanyanmi and her mom finally escaped across the river to China, the Yallar River,

where at 13 years old, Yanyanmi is sold to sex traffickers and raped repeatedly. So is her mom. She spends years in China being abused in some form or another before some Christian missionaries risked her life to sneak her and her mom in the Mongolia, where they then are taking the South Korea. 15 years old, she has to restart her life in South Korea, she has a second grade math level, her reading and writing skills are even worse,

and then five years later she's writing an incredible book. After basically cramming an entire grade school junior high and high school education, and doing about a year, and then going to college. Incredible story. But to this day, she's still scared. She has to sleep with eye open because North Korean government wants her dead for ratting out the regime. The North Korean government has released YouTube videos labeling her as a liar and propaganda puppet for the West. I love the irony in a country who doesn't allow its citizens to use the internet at all, uh, releasing YouTube videos. And despite everything you now know about North Korea, the comment section of these videos

are right with people supporting the North Korean government because there are no shortage as you know of idiots on the internet. Okay, for today under a video titled North Korea response to defector Park Yeon-mi released in 2015, user Jo Qing, a special kind of idiot, says, quote, the Christian converts in China to the same shamelessly filthy smear on China before and during World War II. Today, they even stab a huge Christian cross in a heart of China, Nanking, in the memorial ground of the fabricated Nanking mask or to smear Japan. So all Asian countries have been smeared by the Americans and their Asian Christian puppet dogs and cats. Not to mention it was the

all Christian squad that dropped the abombs on Japan. North Korea should definitely lead a united Asia to kick the American nuke monkey out of Asia Pacific. Okay, okay. First off, I don't think atomic bombs were dropped in Japan in World War II in the name of Jesus. I'm not saying US politicians who may have been Christians didn't make an extremely controversial decision in the war, one that took an outrageous amount of Christian lives, but it's not like Truman was like, all right everyone, I'm not a big fan

of dropping nuclear weapons, but I prayed about it. And Jesus spoke to me. And he said, fuck him, Harry. He said, drop the nukes. Now, and of all the countries to lead Asia against America, why are you picking North Korea the most unstable one to lead? China seems like the obvious picked to me, but now you're going to put Kim Jong-un in charge of all of Asia. Okay. And Joe's referring to Christians helping her escape. How is that a bad thing, Joe? I'm not religious, but I have a lot of admiration for

Christian missionaries risking their lives committing incredible acts of bravery. And this is an example of that. And also, does anyone else find a funny that Joe refers to Asian missionaries as Christian puppet dogs and cats? I like that he went with both dogs and cats. I feel like most people would have just went with dogs, you know, like as in lap dogs. You know, used to America's lap dog. But Joe was like, uh, that's not quite covered. Summer puppet dogs, but you know what, not all are puppet dogs, some are puppet cats. Then some other idiot, user Dubzac, someone was way too much free time on their hands,

writes a book basically explaining how the missionaries involved in Yanmi's escape are not in fact puppet dogs and cats. I'm always amazed by this type of person. The time that will spend like 30 minutes writing a several page long YouTube reply to a total stranger who was obviously out of their fucking mind. Trying to explain to them why their comment

doesn't make sense. So these people not understand how many good books are out there, how many great TV shows there are to watch, how many fun things are to do outside. Just, no, no, I'm not gonna go spend the next six hours of my life doing something fun. I'm gonna spend an argument with another moron on YouTube, a moron I'll never meet.

Unreal. And Joe goes back and forth with a handful of YouTubers in roughly 40 separate exchanges. Why? Because he's out of his mind, like way out. Here's one of the best comments in the thread. Since the first full implementation of democracy in the founding of America, the world has seen only two weeks

of peace. America was founded as a military camp. And after the genocide of the natives and got prosperous with free laborers from the blacks, America used the live military rehearsal to launching Killing Springs across the plane to the Asia. And then I like to the Asia to the Asia. And then the other Killing Springs all around the world. And the finale years due in five years in 2020, if I fail to stop it. Wow, what did begin on this one?

The world has seen only two weeks of peace since 1776. I like how specific that is. I wish he had said exactly when it was. Like other than March 3rd through March 17th, 1903, things have been super fucked up. Those two weeks were great. They were great. I'll give you that, America. Literally everyone got along for those two glorious weeks, but then on March 18th, 1903,

America fucked everything up again. I like how Joe, I like how Joe also knows that in 2020, the finale is gonna be here and he's the only one who can stop it. This dude is clearly mentally ill, yes, the edits of the internet continue to try and argue with him. user Brian O'Connor says, Jo Ching, you're blaming Chinese enforcement of modernizing on the West. Well, the Chinese are to blame for inventing basic gunpowder, guns, the campus, ocean going rudders, paper money that expanded aggressive economies, rocketry,

the printing press, etc. Without the West would never have succeeded conquering the world while the Chinese then decided to be backward scientifically as it had dominated over, it's so hard to read these, because there's fucking these people have no grammar, no spelling, and the sentences make no goddamn sense. So typically, as it had dominated over enough wealth of many peoples to become fat and happy,

you paint the Chinese is somehow more humane and noble to their own population into the world. It has happened stance of history with the many destructive Chinese inventions that modern world horrors became born. Okay, Brian, why are you trying to reason with the fucking lunatic? Well, probably because you're insane yourself. But he just said he's the only one who can stop some type of apocalypse battle in 2020. He's clearly out of his mind and you're clearly a fucking idiot to trying like reason with

somebody like that's like walking past. I've never understood why people go out of their way to try and reason with someone who's out of his mind and you're clearly a fucking idiot to trying like reason with somebody like that's like walking past I've never understood what why people go out of their way to try and reason with someone who's out of their mind like It's like walking past some homeless schizophrenic ranting and then the wood chucks chucked wood into the sky and Michael Jackson caught it And he flew it to Jupiter where he built a library for the fire ants That'll be like hearing that and then stopping him like whoa dude What are you talking about? First off, Michael Jackson is dead.

So we can't catch wood, Kenny. And I'll have you know, wood checks don't actually throw wood. And furthermore, people can't fly and you can't survive in space without a space to, can you? Because there's no oxygen to breathe. And it's impossible to live long enough to make it a Jupiter. And fire ants can't even read if you could build a library on Jupiter Jupiter where they can't survive and where there's no stable land to build on how the hell do you expect?

You're fucking idiot for trying to like correct that kind of stuff Well Brian goes back and forth with Joe for like five more rounds my favorite snippets from various other Joe Ching rants are I'm a scientist. Sure you are. A bullshit scientist. And after Japan speaks up in 2020, the Germans will be next to speak up. I guess this is part of that 2020 final battle with various nations, you know, just speaking up and stuff. And I'm here to clear Americans propaganda as well as drug habits. Oh, that's why you're here, Joe. I thought you were here just to be a crazy asshole.

You're teaching, you're correcting propaganda and drug habits. Or because you put a comment between drug and habits, he's here to clear up drugs in general and also to clear up habits in general. I mean, that's a lot of shit to clear up. Do thing, Joe's a scientist. Joe's last rant in the thread is a very long one

where he tries to explain how he's trying to, you know, clear up his intentions. But of course, you know, complicates things further because he's not well. And in the middle of his rant, he says, the Jews brought to Asia opium. The Americans are now trying, trying rebalancing Asia. I have no clue what he's talking about.

But I just find it interesting how often delusional conspiracy nut whack doodles eventually end up blaming the Jewish people for something. Or as they refer to it as the Jews. Part of me was just there really was a small collection of Jewish leaders hidden somewhere and not like a bunker somewhere that just ran everything. At least then we could have an actual real group of people to thank when things go right and then to complain to when things go wrong. Alright, one more idiotic comment.

This one was left by user David Derville, who types, Why are North Koreans tolerating the dictator? Kim family has been ruling North Korea for a long time and they will never give up power unless people just take them out. South Korea is a prosperous and developed country now. South Koreans live in a free society. If North Koreans want a better future, they need to kick out the Kim family. David, you are a fucking douchebag.

Gotta hate that personality type. The person who looks at a complex situation presents an obvious simplistic solution as if no one else has thought of it. In my life, it often presents itself as some version of, hey, you know what you should do? You should get an HBO special. Or you should get another Netflix special.

Or, you know what, you should get your own sitcom. As if A, I've never thought of doing any of those things. And B, once I have thought of it, all I have to do is make a phone call, and I can just make it happen. Like, they could tell me that, and then I could just, you know, call up the president of Shobbiz. I'm like, hey, president of Shobbiz, I'd like a sitcom.

And an HBO special. And you know what, also a new Netflix special. Sure, yeah, no, no, no, no, getting all those next month will be great. Why didn't I call earlier? You know what? I just never thought of it. I never thought of the obvious promotional opportunities

that would come from that and greatly advance my career. But you know, but then luckily, some asshole sit next to me on my flight yesterday, pointed out that I should do all those things. Oh, yeah, yeah, no, she's super smart. She's super smart. She's a 60 year old stay at home grandma who's the only exposure to to comedy has been a Jeff denim special. She's out 10 years ago. But she knows everything. She knows everything about my career.

Look at idiots. Just overthrow your dictator. It's simple. That's what I would do. If I was there, I'd be like, Hey, Hey, things are way better in South Korea. And I want that. Not this. So you know what Kim Jong-un? How about you get the heck out of here? And then I would just like follow them around and I'll kick him in as high as heany, all the way out of Pyongyang, and no one even try and stop me or kill me, or my entire family for protesting a brutal totalitarian regime,

because I'm a complete fucking moron who confidently goes through life thinking I'm a problem solver. Fucking armchair quarterback. Oh, and that's it for today. I'm getting too worked up. I'm getting too worked up. I'm getting too, I can't take any more of these idiots of the internet. So why don't we overthrow Kim Jong-un?

You know? Because there really is no easy solution to the problem in North Korea, you know? Because his nation has an unknown amount of nuclear weapons and millions of South Koreans could die if we do something. He's not to have around 10 nukes, by the way. Millions of innocent North Koreans could die and probably would die in a war with North Korea. While we don't think the North Korean missiles could reach the mainland U.S., Hawaii is now

actively working on a nuclear missile defense program to defend against a North Korean missile strike. And I think a cornered animal is the most dangerous kind of animal. And the quickest to strike, and if North Korea feels threatened enough, they could lash out. Remember, this is a country where people are taught their leaders living got. We don't know Kim Jong-un's psychology about all that. For all we know, he actually believes he's a god. And if he does, he could launch an all out attack with everything they have. I think he's starting to work. It actually win.

And if we take Kim Jong-un out, here's something else to think about. And some sort of old school, you know, Cold War CIA political assassination, we don't know who would replace him because he's killed all his main rivals. And this new person might be even more unstable. There could be a bigger monster waiting in the wings. You know, killing Kim Jong-un is incredibly risky. The clearing war against them is incredibly risky. There's a reason North Korea has been a problem for so long.

Despite what dipshits like David Derville think, there's no easy solution. I've heard people say, you know, just fucking, just nuke them, man. And that's a dumb shit thought. Forget about the Asian collateral damage. This goes along with that simplistic ignorant decision. What if China doesn't care for NUX being dropped right next door? NUX that damaged their country with lethal radiation.

What if then they attack us? Hello World War III and the end of life as we know it. So what do we do? Well let me preface this by reminding everyone that I have never served in the military. I have never properly studied warfare strategy, international diplomacy or anything along those lines. I'm okay at risk and I'm pretty good at strategic. That's about it.

I think we wait. I think we continue to develop anti-balistic missiles used to intercept Kim Jong-un's weapons. We do have strong counterattack measures in place so that if Kim Jong-un does strike, we can decimate basically any and all weaponry he has as quickly as possible. If that happens after that, we do massive airstrikes, do a massive naval attack from the surrounding ocean, and then we send in troops on the ground to overtake Pyongyang and topple his regime for good. We drop UN rations and literature all over the entire country,

showing the North Korea since the citizenry that the world does want to help them because they don't know that. We put South Korea in charge of the whole peninsula. We keep the nuclear system in place. I think we do that. If anything, I think we beef it up to hold China in check.

And now we have a strong ally right in the Chinese border that has nuclear capability. And hopefully while we wait on a plan like this, we're also developing some kind of next evolution in warfare. I think the next evolution is nanotechnology. I'm gonna get crazy for a second. Maybe I've just watched Black Mirror show too many times.

But imagine an entire fleet of like tens of thousands of tiny flying robots. No larger than a bumblebee, each one. And these little robotic insects are capable of biting someone and administering like a lethal neurotoxin, you know, or they're capable of flying into a target nasal cavity or ear tunnel and burying into their brain and killing them that way.

Or they're capable of landing on a target and exploding with just enough force to kill them. If you could develop that type of military technology before your enemy develops some kind of electromagnetic pulse defense or electronic force field, you could take out an entire regime with little to no collateral damage, just a fucking swarm of tiny killer robots, too small to shoot, too evasive to bomb, they could swarm an entire enemy capital and through some type of remote control, piloting, or target-specific programming,

kill only pre-assigned contacts. You know, and just like the Cold War arms race could, you know, developing this technology lead to rogue nations also developing similar technology to use against us, yes. But I personally think weapon systems advancement is just an inevitable part of life on this planet. Maybe someday that'll change, but right now,

I don't think so. Getting 7.5 billion people to agree to end war forever and get along and share the world's resources. Seems like a little far-fetched of a goal at this time. And until that happens, I think we do what we need to do to get crazy motherfuckers like Kim Jong-Un off the planet. But again, that's just my opinion. Also, my opinion, they were pretty lucky

to live in America. The more I researched this episode, the more lucky I felt to be here. Man, this podcast would literally get me executed in North Korea and three generations of my family would live in Squalor, some shitty North Korean village reserve for the lowest song-bun cast.

You know, I should have done this one for veterans day. Research in North Korea made me feel incredibly thankful for the sacrifices of our military. Both my grandpa's fought in the war, the Korean War, thanks Grandpa Bill, thanks Papa Ward, my candy ass appreciates it. America has problems, you know, like any large group of people has bound to have.

The rich and the powerful, rigging the system to favor themselves, like they always have and always will be in one of them. But shit, you know what, we had a lot of stuff right here too. Like having basic fucking freedom. That'll lead Greenwood song, get popular on my head, working on this episode, you know. I'm proud to be an American with least I know I'm free.

You know, freedom, man. I take it for granted a lot of the time. This episode will run to me not to. And now let's take one last look at a place with no freedom. The Hermit Kingdom with some top five takeaways. Time, shock, tough, five takeaway. Number one, the first time Kim Jong-il picked up a golf club in 1994 as the age of 53, Number 1. The first time Kim Jong Il picked up a golf club in 1994 as the age of 53, he reportedly shot a 38 under par on North Korea's only golf course, including 11 holes in one. And I hit three home runs the first time I swung a baseball bat.

Number 2. Some estimates suggest that the Korean People's Army could hit Seoul with at least 500,000 artillery shells in less than an hour and reduce Seoul, which lies only 35 miles from North Korea to rubble in about 2 hours' time. 3. The food shortage is so bad in North Korea that citizens often use their own shit to fertilize small gardens to keep from starving to death. 4.

Kim Miel Sung, Communist founder of North Korea won 100,000 battles against the Japanese over 14 years and controlled the weather with his mind and descended from heaven. And his son started walking to less of them on dold. What the fuck is your founder done? Actually won a democratic election, who gives a shit.

And number five, new info. We can't talk about North Korea without talking about Dennis Rodman, Dennis Rodman, the worm, Pissing bad boy, seven time NBA rebounding champion, five time NBA champion, Michael Jordan, teammate, Hall of Fame member, star of numerous reality shows, boyfriend of Madonna, Carmen Electra, and American diplomat to North Korea and friend of Kim Jong Un. Robbins, the first known US celebrity to ever have met Kim Jong Un. And according to Robbins, Kim Jong Un is a great dad.

He's not a torture and murder you guys, he's great dad. He's also a huge basketball fan. Robin also gave Kim Jong-un President Trump's books The Art of the Deal on a recent trip. Robin appeared on a season of Trump's celebrity apprentice and his reportedly friends with Trump. He's also supposedly friendly with Kim Jong-un. Making Dennis Rodman the only man on earth who is friends with both Kim Jong-un and Donald Trump.

And there's rumors he acts as an unofficial diplomat between the two and the two nations. making Dennis Rodman, the only man on earth who his friends with both Kim Jong-un and Donald Trump. And there's rumors he acts as an unofficial diplomat between the two and the two nations. Who would have ever guessed that Dennis Rodman could be the one person on earth able to keep North Korea and the US from kicking off a nuclear war? Ah, that's scary. God help us all. Time suck, tough, right takeaway. Thanks for listening to another suck.

Hope to see some of you suckers in person on the road very soon. I'll be at the Laughing School Comedy Club July 27th to 30th. The Tampa improv August 3rd through 6th to Syracuse funny bone August 17th to 20th and the Irvine improv August 24th through 27th. Follow the suck on social media at time suck podcast on Instagram Twitter slash time suck on Facebook vote on that next bonus episode, follow TimeSug on Instagram on TimeSug podcast.com, or I'm sorry, on At TimeSug podcast, decide if the 800 review episode

should be Project MK Ultra, you know, Secret CIA experiments involving shit like mind control, the Heaven's Gate cold, or should it be the Iceman, Richard Cooke-Linksky, a former Mafia hitman. We'll cut off Voting on July 31st and then announce on Instagram the next day with the next bonus suck will be. And be sure to listen next week as we journey back to Medieval Europe to suck on another killer from the late 16th and early 17th centuries, possibly the most prolific female serial killer

of all time, Hungarian noblewoman Elizabeth Bathrey, the blood countess. According to Medieval legend, Elizabeth would kidnap young peasant women from nearby towns or lure young women to the castle with the promise of well-paid work and would subsequently torture them to death through severe beatings, burning mutilation, biting, phrasing, or starving. It's not like she would fit in great North Korea.

She was then said to have ordered her slaves to gather their blood in buckets and fill the bath so that she could bathe in the blood of virgins to retain her youth. So, you know, thank God they have lotion now, no one has to do that anymore. What the fuck? There are many conflicting accounts regarding the number of women, Elizabeth Bathory, said to have murdered, but according to one popular story, one witness reported that Bathory had a book where she kept a list of over 650 victims' names. Did she really kill 650 young women and girls? or was she the victim of a

character assassination planned by a political rival? All smoking mirrors or a shit ton of medieval murder find out in another bloody edition of the suck. And until next week, be glad to not live in North Korea, be proud to be an American or be proud to live in any other country that lets you listen to this podcast. I know I have a lot of international listeners, and if you do live in North Korea, and somehow do listen to the suck, God damn it. Be careful while you keep on sucking. you