Timesuck with Dan Cummins - BONUS 15 - Freemasons 1 of 2: Original Cult of the Curious?
Episode Date: January 5, 2018Who are the Freemasons? An ancient, Satanic organization who are part of the illuminati and intent of destroying Christianity and ruling the world? A harmless fraternal organization that gives its mem...bers a sense of community and encourages them to become the best versions of themselves? What do they do in their secret meetings? How long have they been around? How do you join? Today, in the first of a two part Freemasonry Timesuck, we dig into their origins, rituals, philosophy and even check in with two of their members. Timesuck is also brought to you by by the socially conscious on-line fantastic mattress store LEESA! Go to www.leesa.com/timesuckto get $100 off of one of their incredible mattresses and help both the environment and the homeless while doing so! Trouble with the APP or new website? Email BitElixir! (you'll have to copy and paste - sorry) Timsuckapp@bitelixir.co Merch - https://badmagicmerch.com/ Want to try out Discord!?! https://discord.gg/tqzH89v Want to join the Cult of the Curious private Facebook Group? Go directly to Facebook and search for "Cult of the Curious" in order to locate whatever current page hasn't been put in FB Jail :) For all merch related questions: https://badmagicmerch.com/pages/contact Please rate and subscribe on iTunes and elsewhere and follow the suck on social media!! @timesuckpodcast on IG, @timesuckpodcast on Twitter, and www.facebook.com/timesuckpodcast
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Discussion (0)
Wow, never know how complicated a topic is going to be until I start sucking on one.
And early into the research this week, I realized we needed our second two-part episode to
properly suck to freemasen.
Today we're going to focus more on the mainstream history of the group, the history that
members say is the truth, the history and elements of freemasenery, supported by mainstream
authors and journalists.
Then on Monday, we'll go a little further down the Freemason rabbit hole. Looking to some hardcore conspiracies,
look a little more into their symbolism.
You know, every once in a while,
an episode really, really surprises me.
And today, one of those episodes,
I had zero interest in Freemasonry
before I started the Time Suck podcast.
And right now, kind of want to join a large,
my wife last night was telling me to calm down.
Why?
Find out today on TimeSuck.
You're listening to TimeSuck.
Yeah!
Wait!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Hello, TimeSuckers.
Welcome to the 1500, I-Tune Review Bonus Edition of TimeSuck.
I'm Dan Cummins, aka Profit of Nimrod,
Teacher of the Secrets that Lined his Heavenly Ballsack.
What?
Wait, don't worry about it.
Welcome to the cult of the curious.
Back in the Suck dungeon, the Suck Studio,
the Suck layer with Mr. Josh Krel,
sweetening the sound today's Suck,
so it slides right on past your lips down your throat.
Right in your soul, you know, suck it so good.
Couple of tour dates to announce,
including an unfortunate
cancellation and then on to part one of that big old free mason suck fest. I'll be in
Indianapolis January 5th and 6th. That is today and tomorrow. So show the fuck up, get
down here to mortise. I'll be in Providence, Rhode Island, January 19th and 20th. And then
sadly I will not be in chickpea master on January 21st, because the owner of the club
I was supposed to be at has run the venue out of business.
So fuck, that explains why the owner was not getting
back to my agent or my manager, so sorry about that.
I will get back to Massachusetts.
I wanna get to Boston.
I would love to get back there,
and that's where we're trying to set up a show.
And again, I apologize.
If you somehow did manage to get a ticket to that event,
I was never able to properly announce it
because I never listed it.
You're gonna have to go to the club for a refund.
I believe the restaurant portion is still open.
I wish I had more info.
Sorry, I can't be more help.
I have not been given any money
or getting any information from then.
So again, truly sorry.
I will be in Philadelphia, January 25th to 27th, Baltimore, January January 28th and McGubby's tickets for that are on sale now. Sorry, there's
the lady there. Chicago, Zany January 31st to February 3rd, New York City, Gotham Comedy
Club, February 11th, more tour dates at either Dan Cummins.tv, time suck podcast.com.
Minneapolis tickets are on sale now. Standup shows March 2nd and 3rd, very limited tickets.
Also live Time Suck podcast Saturday, March 3rd at 2pm.
That's all that Sisyphe is brewing.
It is listed separately as Time Suck on their website
for the podcast.
So some people had trouble finding it.
It's just right below me.
You can see it listed as Time Suck.
They used the original logo for their advertisement one more thing
Before we jump into today's episode you've heard me read ads for brands, you know like Lisa mattress
You know dollar shave club bomb fill our ex bars Mac Weldon and more
Amazing companies that I do truly believe in these ads are great because they keep the show free
They keep the suck coming to you. They introduced listeners like you to new products and services that you're gonna love.
You get sweet discounts.
It is a win for everybody.
And I'm happy to have the help and expertise
of mid-roll media to ensure that this show
continues to have great advertisers.
Very important to me.
So if you're interested in advertising on TimeSuck,
here's how you do it.
You go to midroll.com slash TimeSuck, you click Contact to let the folks at Midroll know.
They also represent other great shows like My Favorite Murder, What The Fuck With Mark
Marin, so you can reach an array of engaged listeners when you go through Midroll.
So that's m-i-d-r-o-l-l.com slash Time Suck, and that's where you can find out how you
can hear more about you your company and your awesome product
Right here on the suck so more announcements at the end of the show right now time for some free masonry
So who the hell are the free mason's?
Yes, the first ten people you come across and you're liable to get ten different answers
My 11 soon to be 12-year-old son Kyler, he asked me what I was doing the other night and
I told him I was researching the Freemasons and he gave me a weird look and he asked,
Sudo seriously, aren't they the Illuminati?
And then I immediately, immediately choked him unconscious, took him to the basement,
pressed a secret Freemasons symbol in the foundation of my home, opened
to hidden Illuminati door to the underworld where a lizard overlord was waiting. He heard
it too. He heard the call, we both knew it had to be done. My son had to be blood sacrifice
to the Dark Lord. And so he was placed upon a Freemason altar, chanting was done, special
little devil knife was used, demons, dance around the circles, some lapenograms and whatnot. Lucifer,ifer got to the free mason's was appeased allowing me to continue in my quest for riches and power
So hail luciferina hail space lizards
No, no, obviously I did not sacrifice my son
But I did find it interesting that he had a heard of the free mason's and be thought they had something to do with the illuminati
By the way, I learned last year that kids at his school talk about the Illuminati all the time.
And if you look on the web,
you can see that people in general spend a lot of time
speculating about the Illuminati
and the Freemason connection to the Illuminati.
A lot of people think they're one and the same,
more on that later.
When I told my wife, she says something to the effect of,
didn't they do a lot of bad stuff?
And she is decidedly not a conspiracy theorist.
Before this week, I thought the free maasons were kind of just the equivalent of an Elk's
Lodge, or like a VFW Hall, just a place for old men to hang out and have beers and wear
funny hats.
I never thought they were some ancient and evil secret society, you know, just devil
worshipers,
instigating bloody revolutions, manipulating the world's leaders, conspiring to take over
our planet.
You Google who are the free masons, and you come across a variety of videos and articles
that mostly are pure just wack of doodleness, just superstitious insanity, like the modern
equivalent of the medieval belief in witches and necromancers
So when a variety of time-sockers who happened to be Freemasons
Message me that they'd help if needed that they would answer some questions about Freemason
I took them up on their offer and you know
I had a short window to get this one done this week and they were kind enough to shoot me some responses
real quick
So let's start today's suck with these questions,
get a general feel for what it means to be a member
of their society as laid out by a few of their own
and a few of our own.
Big thanks to these two free masons,
who wish to remain anonymous?
You know, it is a society of secrets.
Thanks to all the other free masons
who reached out to help who I wasn't able to follow up with,
just do a normal time constraints.
So I ask the same question to each time suckers so I'll just go through the responses side
by side.
My first question was simply, why did you become a free mason?
Well time sucker mason won, responded.
I became amazing because of the curiosity.
I was willing to take the leap and see what it is all about.
Number two said I love knowledge like everyone in the cult of the curious, the fact that
free masonry is deemed a secret society made me very interested in joining.
And learning things that I felt like I was missing out on.
Once you get in, there are so many little groups you can join and each one of them has
its own little nugget of knowledge.
Well, I get both of these answers.
The more I've been researching the free mason, the more interested I am in joining someday
to see who that's really all about, you know,
maybe when I'm a little less busy,
little less hectic, I can check it out.
My next question was, how did you hear about the free mason's?
And Time Sucker Mason, one, responded,
how could you not hear about the free mason's?
There is always a lodge in most, if not all cities,
and you see the infamous square encompassing
insignia, prominently shown right there on the building.
The fraternities marketing has been great ever since George Washington, I've heard of them.
I walked around in a Masonic regalia back in 1776, the picture of him at the corner-storn
cornerstone ceremony is iconic, and there is a picture of it in somewhere in every
lodge that he had I've been to which is probably about 40 is by now I also have a
recent rise or a scene a recent rise as result of national treasure movies and the
Dan Brown novels but nothing beats the tried and true methods of word method of
word of mouth you see gentlemen with rings adorning the square and compass,
emblems on their cars and copious amounts of apparel.
I know some brothers that only wear clothing
that have the square and compass on it,
which is a little too much for my taste,
although I do have an emblem,
a fancy ring that I wear to a lodge,
countless lapel pins from other lodges,
and a cruise shirt that I wear on occasion,
it's not as soft as Muscralavia,
but it serves as a purpose.
One of the prominent dependent Masonic bodies are the Shriners, which own and operate It's not as soft as Muscle-Lavia, but it serves as a purpose.
One of the prominent dependent Masonic bodies are the Shriners, which own and operate the Shriners
Hospital for children, which we do get a lot of good press from there.
Yeah, love the Shriners.
We even had some Shriners in Tyne Little Old Riggins, Idaho, and I was a kid.
According to the Idaho Free Mason's website, Little Old Grangeville, Idaho, just 45 minutes
from Riggins, roughly 3,000 people.
Little town just barely big enough to have a small hospital for me to be born in years
ago, has a free mason lodge or at least used to.
Timesucker Mason 2 said, I'm a fourth generation free mason on my mother's side, so my first
introduction to mason's was at my great-grandfather's funeral as a child.
All right.
Question three.
How often do you get to meet with other Freemasons at a Freemason Lodge?
Mason one responded every night and every state.
There is a couple of lodges meeting,
whether it is to induct a new candidate
or the monthly stated meeting.
I personally go to a lodge once, maybe twice a week,
depending on my work schedule.
Mason two said,
La La's frequently, now that I'm father of two very small
and very needy children, each individual lodge has two meetings a month, unless of course
the lodge is lacking in member participation in that case, make it once a month. These
meetings are called stated communications. Lodges will also have special nights where
members are promoted to the next level or degree. These are called called communications.
Even if you are a member of one lodge, you can go to any meeting or degree, these are called called communications. Even if you are a member of one lodge,
you can go to any meeting or degree at any other lodge,
so you can be as busy as you want.
It's also very easy to pack on the pounds
because every meeting begins with dinner,
like in the dinner part.
And I like to twice a month.
That doesn't seem like an insane commitment, okay?
That's cool.
Fourth question, what is the purpose of all the secrets?
Time, sucker, Mason, one responded. The purpose of the secrets is trust. I had a conversation
with the very prominent brother and he put it like this. If you can't trust a man to keep something
secret as small as a handshake or a couple random syllables that make a code word,
he has no integrity and cannot be trusted with anything. That actually makes a lot of sense to me.
You know, some dip-ship, I think it's a dip-ship. I don't know what a dip ship is, but it doesn't sound
like a fun ride. Some dip shit, you know, if you can't keep a handshake a secret, I mean,
you can't trust him with other secrets. And I would take it further and add that someone
who can't remember a few code words and secret handshakes probably isn't mentally capable
of keeping secrets. You know, you got to weed out the riff raff. Ah, I hate the riff
raff. I like it. As I get older riff-raff. Hate the riff-raff.
I like it.
As I get older, I have less and less interest in riff-raff.
Time's sucker Mason, too, said,
honestly, feel like the secrets are survival tactic.
It's really that simple.
People hate feeling left out.
So if you make your groups public image
some secret mysterious society,
people will be knocking down your door,
trying to join and be part of the group.
That boathed well for the cult of the curious.
I like what this is said.
You need members to participate in annual dues
to be financially stable.
They claimed that when freemasins were actual operative
stone masons, the secrets were the arts of the craft.
That is what I also have found.
They were protected to guarantee wages,
almost like union rights, everything learned in masonry
is all through word of mouth.
You weren't allowed to write anything down.
This is an echo from a time period where most people were illiterate.
Although we still follow the verbal lesson structure, we are in a modern period of
Masonry where the parables are bound around Hiram Abiff and the building of King Solomon's temple.
A long time ago when people were a lot more simple and predominantly Christian,
the parables were around the building of Noah's Ark. Those are referred to the
Heramic and Noah Chite
Masonry, hopefully I'm getting those pronunciations right. That is interesting about the history.
And according to the research, I will talk about later. Yes, an ancient pre-business card
times, code words and knowledge of secret handchakes. We're essentially like proof of your
union membership to someone who had never met you. So other Mason's, you know, and some
of their city you'd went to knew that they could count on you when they're, you know,
building some giant structure to actually know your shit.
And yeah, from what I looked into,
the mythological beginnings of the Freemasons
do go back to the building of King Solomon's Temple.
And here's my fifth question.
What is your favorite part of being a Freemason?
Time soccer won, responded.
My favorite thing about being a brother
is the fact that I have a large amount of people
I can count on.
I made the biggest decision I have ever made in my life
earlier this year and that was a move from Los Angeles to Las Vegas
and I wouldn't not have done it if I wasn't a brother.
When people ask me, do you know anyone out here in Vegas to answer is yes.
I know plenty of people that I can count on.
I moved out here without a job, but a huge network of people.
Every night on my first week I went to a different lodge to meet people
and of course eventually the question,
what did you move out here for
as made its way into the conversation,
which was to find a career in waiting tables.
I told them about my background.
I found out the executive chef was a Mason
and it's history from there.
I had a relatively high-paying job
with great benefits in no time.
I am well qualified for the position,
but directing me straight to the executive chef
allowed me to cut a couple of corners. I am well qualified for the position, but directing me straight to the executive chef allowed
me to cut a couple of corners.
I remember from a previous episode that you lived out here in Vegas for a bit, and you
know it is a who you know type of town.
That does make a lot of sense to me.
And regarding Vegas, I only went to two years of high school there, my freshman in the
sophomore year's, but I do remember my dad working in construction there talking about being
a who you know type of town.
Specifically, I remember him thinking it was harder
to get jobs in residential construction
if you were not LDS, if you were not Mormon,
because the LDS church is down there,
had a lot of members, emphasis on home ownership,
with the emphasis on financial prosperity and family,
and it was a tight knit bunch,
and they tried to give one another work,
which makes total sense.
Humans have always looked to take care of their own tribe
before taking care of others in general.
It's a use scratch, my back, I scratch yours, mentality.
Nice to know that there are groups not affiliated,
necessarily with religion that do the same thing.
Honestly, the first real group I belong to as an adult
has been time suck.
I was never an a frat.
Never went to church regularly as an adult
and starting off in Spokane, Washington,
never even had a real crew of other comics
that I can't have came up with.
But a lot of comics you know have,
where you kind of help each other get work and stuff.
I've always been a bit more of an outsider
due to a mix of personality, temperament,
circumstance, you know.
I get the appeal now of a group though,
cold to the curious,
working a little by little,
building us a clubhouse right now actually.
A real one in Cordelaine, where I live in a virtual one.
Time suck app.
So yeah, all that makes sense.
Time sucker 2 said, the good fellowship in brotherhood.
Doesn't matter what your station is in life,
your politics, your religious beliefs,
financial lane, or any other superfluous nonsense
that we use to categorize members of society.
I am 29 years old, work blue collar, I'm literally tattooed from my jawline down to my feet,
and I have formed honest friendships with conservative multi-millionaires in their 80s, and even
World War II and Vietnam veterans.
In everyday life, we have absolutely nothing in common, and we'd barely exchange passing
glances.
But since our first interaction, let us know that we were brothers, we had common ground. The ability to form bonds as powerful
as some of the ones I've made through the free mason's is something I'm extremely grateful for.
Don't get me wrong, though. The vetting process isn't always completely effective, and sometimes
assholes and idiots can slip through the cracks. After you meet them, you're left scratching your head,
and wondering how the hell they even got it. Man
Damn assholes man always something to the cracks, right always always snicken in there I do love the content of people from different ages and different races socioeconomic backgrounds being able to come together in brotherhood
And by the way in the brotherhood thing if you think it's messed up that only dudes can be free-masins
At least traditional free-masins you might be surprised to hear that I disagree.
I'm all for it.
When it comes to private groups,
I think you should be able to put up
any boundaries you want.
I think that's part of living in a free society.
I did a show a while back in New Jersey.
And there were a group of women at the show
in an organization called Mocha Moms.
In an organization, by the way,
I was so ignorant too,
I actually thought there were people who loved coffee
at first, like chocolate and espresso,
because I love mocas.
And so I was like, how cool!
Did some ladies enjoy tasty mocha?
No, no.
Everyone in the group was a mom and be a woman of color.
No white women allowed, and no men of any color.
Now, is that sexist and racist?
Well, it depends on why they're meeting, I think.
If they're meeting to talk about how to destroy the lives of men and destroy the lives of white
women, if they're meeting specifically to talk about how much they hate white people and especially
men, especially white men, then yes, it's a super racist group, super sexist. I still think they
should be allowed to do that because I don't want to infringe on their freedoms because of my kind of libertarian views. But if they're
meeting to have a safe place to discuss issues that you can only truly understand through
living life, through the lens of a woman of color, then it makes sense to be exclusive
on that level and they should have every right to do that. But here's the thing. If it's
okay for one group to set guidelines based on race, gender, sexual orientation,
when it comes to membership, it has to be okay for all groups.
It cannot be cool for women of color to meet and private,
but not cool for men of only white color.
People might not like it, but that is fair,
that is logical.
It now if the white dudes are inherently racist
for having a white dude only group,
then I guess the black woman has to be racist too, right?
See how that works?
This is an area where I think we fuck up a lot in society.
I think we think emotionally and not logically, you know, what's good for one is somehow
not okay for the other.
Okay.
Oh, this is enough of me, I guess, of pontificating on the notions of actual fairness.
I just wanted to give some explanation to why I have no problem with the Freemasons,
not letting women join.
Women can form their own club and have historically formed parallel groups to the Masons.
Or maybe it's one big sales pitch I'm doing, or you can join the Code of the Curious.
My club is for everyone, except for disruptive assholes.
You can be man, woman, black, white, orange, whatever.
You just cannot be a disruptive asshole.
You can even mean asshole.
See, I'm even letting the assholes in.
Just be a quiet asshole.
Not needlessly giving the rest of us a bunch of stress.
Okay, so next question, how would I join
if I wanted to be a member?
Time, soccer, one, responded.
Just type your city in free matesason lodges in your city. And for example, I typed in your city in
Masonic Lodge and I came up with the Coutney County or excuse me, the Coutney
Lodge number 24 AF and AM. Give them a call. It is most likely the personal
number of the Secretary of the Lodge, which is usually an old grizzled guy
that would be happy to invite you to their next meeting to Dine, get to know
the brethren.
Cool.
You know what?
I did look up the Kootenny Lodge.
Unfortunately, it is moved.
Sudo closed, I guess, with merged with the Hayden Lodge.
So damn it.
The next response probably explains what has happened.
Time soccer 2 said, over the years, you had to be invited by a Mason that knew you
to be able to petition for membership, but due to dwindling membership
throughout the years, the policy has changed.
The simple policy is, you know, to be one, ask one.
It's as easy as going on the internet,
finding a lodge close to where you live,
going there on a standard meeting night
and introducing yourself.
Sit down, have dinner with the guys,
tell them you're interested in joining,
they will give you a petition to fill out,
collect a small fee for a background check.
After the petition has been approved, and you pass the background check, they have give you a petition to fill out, collect a small fee for a background check. After the petition has been approved and you pass the background check,
they have a vote during the meeting.
If the vote is yes, then they contact you to set up a night for your initiation.
I like it.
Man, damn dwindling membership.
Yeah, that lodge close to me probably is closed because of that.
Good news though.
You know, maybe they're so desperate.
Now I can join.
Nah, I got my own club.
He'll never run. Final question I got my own club. Hill Nimrod.
Final question I posed to the two free masons was,
why do you think there are conspiracies about free masons?
And masons one responded because 14 presidents or masons
including one of my favorite time-soaked episodes,
Teddy Motherfucking Roadsvelt,
although my all time favorite episode is Chica Tilo.
What is big deal?
Why is so popular?
What's a five-facination with casual way I stroke?
South Shemcock with Mood Strike. Maybe time-sucker envy freedom of Chicatillo. Chicatillo
grab life by Southcock. No careful rules. No careful judgment. I'd back nice one. There are also
many other kind of famous and successful
nations that you probably have an extensive list of and many have been on past
episodes of your podcast. There are so many conspiracies because we meet in the
locked lodge with a guard at the outer and inner door. That right there screams
secrecy which causes people to wonder what we do in there and the
wandering mind has come to some crazy conclusions. The fact that prominent
people have been behind these locked doors and meetings in sight's
wonder as well.
Little known fact, I know a Mason that claims to be a flat-earther.
I pray to God, he is just pulling our leg like Shaq did to you.
Shaq is also amazing.
Yes, Shaq got me.
I got me so good with the flat-ear stuff.
I do get that Shaq by the way, spending good chunk of last summer in Cortalain.
I think he has a home around here.
Maybe he goes to that Hayden lodge.
Maybe that's how I meet him.
Regarding secrets, yes, people absolutely
start coming to the various kind of conclusions
when you start meeting private
and you don't tell them what you're talking about.
Add some secret handshakes and some code words.
Ho ho, meet in a windalous room.
What?
That's gonna drive a good old fashioned gossip crazy.
People get to speculate and they start coming
to some wild and crazy conclusions. They go full they go full ex files. Time stuck or Mason too said people are
afraid of things they don't understand. They see an old secret society that has
many prestigious members and want to make connections that aren't there. A lot of
people are miserable day-to-day life and they feel stuck and oppressed. It's not
necessarily by their own design just the way life works out sometimes. Makes
their lives easier having someone or something to vilify and blame for all their misfortunes
and like, God, I feel like you're inside of my head right now.
These are the exact thoughts I have.
The best explanation for people's fear of freemasonry
that I know is a Plato's allegory of the cave.
Yes, people are afraid of things they don't understand.
I could not agree more.
I think most of the fear around,
at least 90% of the conspiracies out there
can be summed up with fear of what people don't understand.
Right, their poisonous with the Kim trails.
Uh-huh.
Or you don't understand how condensation works.
You don't understand that a plane
kicking out hot human air from its engines
into the very, very cold air, 30,000 feet above sea level
forms condensation crystals,
leaving those big white streaks across the frozen sky. above sea level, forms condensation crystals, leaving those big
white streaks across the frozen sky.
So you know, condensation trails are either a natural side effect of jet engines in the sky
or the work of a secret group of evil leaders, poisoning and sterilizing a population that
somehow keeps living longer and longer and longer and also keeps having kids later
in life.
So you know, one of those two logical possibilities.
Now, those are the only questions I asked to both members,
but by the time I wrote the email to the second Freemason,
I thought of two additional questions.
I've heard that there is no central governing body
for Freemasons.
Who gets to decide what the rules are for each Freemason lodge,
how do you get into a lodge in a different state
if the rules are different, are the universal handsh do you get into a lodge in a different state that the rules are different,
or the universal handshakes, code words, et cetera, et cetera.
The gain you access to every lodge,
yeah, I guess I have to kind of a ton,
a little compound question there.
He responded with, each state has its own grand lodge,
which has Masonic jurisdictions.
Once a master Mason gets you a dues card,
if the dues card is valid,
you can go into any lodge around the world that you prefer.
I have been to lodges in Vegas, San Diego, San Francisco, Los Angeles, New Orleans, Miami.
The hand shakes and code words are universal.
And then so I asked, has anyone ever spilled all of the free mace and secrets online?
And if that happens, do you have to update all your codes, hand shakes, etc?
Because that's the highest thing.
It's like, why don't someone just put the codes out there?
And I love this answer.
He says, yes, and I've seen the words and handshakes around,
but thanks to the idiots out of the internet,
it is diluted, and people don't know the difference
between what's legit and what's not.
Sorry, I can't tell you which YouTube videos are legit or not.
Damn it.
I want to know the handshakes and the codes.
Actually, maybe I don't.
I love secret stuff, you know? Honestly, now that I'm thinking about all this free Mason stuff, I want to come checks and coats. Actually, actually, maybe I don't. I love
secret stuff, you know? Honestly, now that I'm thinking about all this free mason stuff,
I want to come up with some secret hand checks, maybe some secret code words for being
space lizard. It sounds fun. Finally, Tim, Time Sucker Mason won, did volunteer some additional
info, and here it is. He says, I know this is unsolicited, but here are a few fun facts
and common misconceptions, fun facts. The oldest reference to Freemasons is the Regius poem printed in 1390. In North America alone, Freemasons donate $1.5 million
a day to different charities and causes. There are roughly 4 million maasons worldwide.
Freemasonry and its offshoots fund the following scholarships, child language disorder clinics,
free dental work, children hospitals cardiac research cancer research
Reptilian overlord assimilation and many other worthy causes
That's good
Common risk conceptions
Freemasonry is a giant secret superpower built on world domination
Well in the United States alone free masonry is broke up on an individual state-by-state level
This is to assure that no group gets too much power
or influence.
And then Freemasonry is Satanic.
Well, Freemasonry is designed to be non-religious.
The only time religion ever comes up is on your application
so that you can sway your oath to keep the secrets
of Freemasonry.
You can do it with a hand on the book of your faith,
which I think is cool.
And then religion is never supposed to come up again.
If you are an atheist or agnostic like myself, then you just have to use the Bible for symbolism.
Love it.
A group where people of all faiths, even those with no faiths, can hang out, you know,
be brothers.
And they leave their polarizing thoughts on religion at the door.
I think that's cool.
You know, Muslims, Christians, atheists, agnostic, others, all share an idea as a friendship.
And he adds, you have to write a goat when he joined that comes from a book that came out
that 1800s.
There is no goat, just a bunch of old,
just a bunch of faddled white men watching you
be paraded around while blindfolded.
And then finally, free mason's are a front for the Illuminati.
And then he says, we are a front
for the reptilian overlords.
I fucking knew it.
You know, deep down, I knew that these free mason's
were lizard overlords.
God damn it. Dammy lose to Fina and your reptilian servants.
All right, so that is what I heard from some of our very own.
Now time from what I found through my research.
As far as research, a research source, by the way,
the best one I found by far this week
was the book Freemasins for Dummies, by Christopher Hodepp.
And I feel like a lot of people are opposed
to this series of books because of the title.
You know, some people don't wanna like buy a book,
they just implies that they're dumb,
concerning that topic.
I love those books.
And before I found this one,
I've forgotten all about the Four Dummies series
for years.
I bet I hadn't even thought about a dummy's book
in 15 years.
15 years ago, I used to buy dummies books all the time.
If you're not familiar with this series, they weren't a sense the original Wikipedia. If Wikipedia
was a little more selective about its authors and way more thorough with their information.
The Dummies books are kind of best explained by themselves on dummies.com. If you click
the about for Dummies, it says, to people who value knowledge, Dummies is the platform
that makes learning anything easy
because it transforms the hard to understand into easy to use.
I find that, I find that to be true.
Through expert editorial, engaging experiences, and an approachable style,
listeners at every level can confidently use their knowledge to fuel their pursuit
of a professional advancement and personal betterment.
With the commitment to maintaining the highest editorial standards
and a promise to continue developing
new, innovative digital experiences,
dummies makes learning anything even easier.
I do find that description to be very valid.
Before YouTube tutorials were a thing,
I bought dummies books on HTML programming,
video editing, tax preparation, how do you some Mac?
You know what I like about them?
Is they seem to just keep kind of the best no, you know
Just no bullshit definition, you know, they cite solid sources. They don't seem to be partisan or otherwise biased
They cut to the chase
They give the important parts not a bunch of the fluff and they did not sponsor this episode by the way
I just respect what they do and out of the many books
I casually looked at and considered using as a main source for this episode the Freemason for dummies easily stood out as the most informative comprehensive, least biased, I leaned on them a lot. So who are Freemasons?
Well, the dictionary on my MacBook says a Freemason is a member of an international order established
for mutual help and fellowship, which holds elaborate secret ceremonies. My Dummies book says
it's a society of gentlemen concerned with moral and spiritual values and is one of the world's oldest and most popular fraternal organizations.
Freemasonry is a fraternity of men bound together by oaths based on the medieval stone-mason
craft guilds, Masonic laws, rules, legends, and customs are based on the ancient charges.
The rules of those craft guilds, Voltaire, Mozart, George Washington, Winston Churchill, all members
as were nine signers of the Declaration of Independence and 14 US Presidents. Still feels
kind of vague and mysterious though. Well, it is a bit vague and mysterious by design. Remember,
there's no central governing agency, you know, with free masons, at least none of the claim.
Free masons, conspiracy theorists claim otherwise
However, I was able to wrap my head a bit more around masons by digging into how they began way back in medieval times possibly even all the way back you know all the way back to like pre-biblical times
There were Masonic orders that sound comparable to today's trade unions to me the very earliest masons were were vessels of
Academic knowledge and in a time of rampant ignorance and ancient times, know, knowledge was doled out only to a small minority of royals,
nobility, members of wealthy families who supported their rule, the scholars who taught
all these people.
Rulers, you know, generally have always understood that knowledge is power and ancient rulers
were not about to go set in a public school system so that you know, peasants could figure
out that they were for sure being horrifically exploited. Knowledge was a valuable, valuable thing. Still is,
but you know, it was harder to access historically. And it was something to be guarded, you know,
if you were the best blacksmith in town, your family isn't going to starve, come winner.
You have a valuable skill set that you can use to provide a good home and food for your
family and you can pass on that knowledge, that knowledge of your trade to your kids so they can do the same for their
families.
Well one important early skill was masonry.
Mason being one who builds with and works with stone.
And to design and build a castle, a temple, a great big Gothic Catholic church, you have
to have a firm understanding of geometry, geological properties of the stone you're working
with, the artistic ability to sketch out your designs.
You know knowledge of the tools needed to implement your geometrical know-how, strong grasp of the language, communicate your plans to
alliterate labors, etc. You have to be an academically elite member of the times you live in.
You needed to possess a lot of important building knowledge and you needed it in the days before the printing press.
And so, a Masonic order spring up, you order spring up. One Mason conveyed the tricks of their trade
to an apprentice, other Mason's, Guilds spring up.
The earliest English reference to a Masonic Guild
comes from AD 926 when Athol stand,
the first king of England, organized a Guild of Mason's
in New York, yeah, an AD 926.
And it was in the interest of these Mason's
and their guilds to guard their secrets.
If everyone knew how to build a stone arch
You know everyone knew how to construct a castle wall to the last percentories if it were easy
Masons wouldn't be able to command the high waves. They did the knowledge wouldn't have the same value
You know think about this way diamonds
Diamonds are valuable and part because of their rarity not easy to find a flawless five-karat diamond
Takes a lot of mining take some luck to find a flawless five-carat diamond. Takes a lot of mining, takes some luck to find a flawless five-carat diamond,
which is why a diamond that's size
and with excellent purity, cost around a half a million dollars.
What if you somehow found a magic recipe
where you could sprinkle a few household ingredients
into a little hole you dug in your backyard?
You know, just throwing a little bacon soda,
a little bit of apple cider vinegar, some paprika,
a couple shakes of sea salt, maybe a few spoonfuls of lard.
I don't know, maybe take a dump in it.
I don't know, you find a recipe,
and then you cover the whole back up with dirt.
You go to sleep, and then you dig it up the next morning,
bam, handful, five-carick diamonds.
Now, would you post that recipe on Facebook
and share it with the world,
or would you carefully guard that knowledge,
only share it with a select few?
Well, if you chose to post it on Facebook,
congratulations, you're dummy. You're a well-intentioned idiot doomed to be poor forever. If you post
the knowledge, dumb dumb, then the diamond loses value as soon as this mass produced. It's no longer
special if everyone can do it. Suddenly, no one's diamonds are worth anything. Keep that knowledge to
yourself. Sell a handful of those diamonds each month, you know, and you're suddenly wealthy beyond
your wildest dreams.
And there's probably a much greater chance you also be killed by someone trying to take your diamond money. So there is that negative angle, but you know, overall very positive. The early
maasons, well, they knew the real value of their knowledge, you know, and they knew that it's real
value, it was its rarity. Keep it in the guild, right? Keep it in the guild, home boy. When the
king needs new castle, the Pope wants a new cathedral, they're gonna pay you some serious kizash.
Why did I just say that?
I'd written down money and I went with kizash.
Like suddenly, my brain just slipped into a wormhole
and it popped back out just for like one word in 1991.
They're gonna pay you some serious money
because you aren't one of the thousand,
you know, you know,
Masana guilds they can go do to get the job done.
I mean, again, like another kind of i compare some magic your town or city had
only one general contractor just one
it only dude who knew how to build a home in the whole town
you know it would be literally a case of you hire that guy or you don't get a
home built
you know you do you think you might charge i don't know a wee bit more
than a guy who is one of a thousand contractors to get your assy charts more
let's be the complete more on,
supply and demand, backbone of capitalism.
Why have secret handshakes and code words
will be cause, you know, as one of our time sucker
Masons explained earlier, they didn't have business cards
back then.
You know, Masons, just like every other tradesman,
sometimes travel for work, you know,
and if he created symbols and codes, one Masons could prove
to another in a city he just relocated to,
that he knew how to get the work done
without having to build a fucking gargoyle or something, you know, to shell a cat. Ta-da! I can do it!
You know, the secrets are for one Mason to let another know that he possessed sacred building knowledge and some of that early building knowledge by the way still somewhat secret today
and some ancient architecture cases we still don't know exactly how early builders
knew how to create the architectural wonders that they did
They were that good and they guarded their secrets that tightly
These early maasons when you're talking about the history of Freemasons are known as operative maasons the maasons who actually built
Shit the ones who actually worked with stones and their mythical origin does go at least as far back as King Solomon's temple
The greatest and most magnificent monument to man's faith in God built during the biblical era.
Now the Temple rumored to hold the Ark of the Covenant, which held the actual tablets
God gave to Moses to contain the Ten Commandments, the Wailing Wall, and modern Jerusalem as a
ledge by some to be the only remaining evidence of this ancient structure.
And I say a legend, it's a mythological here, not to be dismissive of religious beliefs,
but only to be true to documented evidence.
Archaeologists still have not found definitive, for sure, proof of King Solomon's temple.
It's just not sitting over there in Jerusalem out in the open, like an Egyptian pyramid,
or a Roman temple for everyone to kind of see and be like, ah, yep, for sure, there it is.
An operative Mason's existed in various guilds for God knows how long before historians kept track of them
When did they get organized into some sort of order that resembles the Freemasons of today?
Nobody knows for sure
because you know
The history that the group has kept to themselves. There is a little bit of secrecy there
There's conspiracy
There is again lack of you know proper written documentation or ancient times
And we will dig into the conspiracy of how long they've been around
and what they've been up to again in part two on Monday.
The oldest document regarding free mason rituals
as one of our time-socars claimed is the Regius manuscript,
Regius poem, also called the Hallowell manuscript.
It's a long poem of 794 verses,
intended to determine in full detail the duties,
and obligations of stone cutters and mons, layers to the craft of geometry as considered the oldest of the hundred or so ancient
chart or old charges or ancient regulations for the governance of masonry in Britain.
And it bears no date, but its turn of phrase and its content suggests that it was written
by one or even several, you know, scholars or clerks a few years before the establishment
of the Anglican Church of England in 1534,
as a counter argument to a statute of 1425, which outlawed the annual congregations and confederacies of Masons.
The fact that it is written in Rhymingverse also makes it kind of manuscript unique.
The context, the grammar and style of writing indicate that the Regius manuscript was written in Shrupp Shryre,
and it is consistent with the abandonment of the
Norman Customs of the Court of England. This connection that it was 1361 that King Edward III
decided to abandon his ancestors, Norman Languages, the official one. So there's all this blah, blah,
blah. There's all this like historical evidence to points towards his date, even though it didn't
have an official date. And in 1390, the young French king Charles VI was showing his first signs of dementia.
In England, the reigning king was Richard II, and the two countries were still at war
with each other in dispute of continental land possessions.
England itself was subjected to political rivalries that would soon cause the sovereign
to be deposed and imprisoned.
And the document originally thought to be written around 1390.
Recent historical studies have dated it.
In the first quarter of the 15th century, it was mentioned in 1670 in the inventory of John Thayer.
It was shelved in the Royal Library of King George II who donated it in 1757 to the British Museum,
forming the beginnings of the British Library.
So again, a lot of history around this document. Let's just kind of get into a couple examples of it.
Here's how it goes, and I will not read, nowhere near all the verses because it's painfully boring,
but it goes like anyone who will look can find written in old books. This story of great lords and ladies,
they had many children, but had no income to support them, whether in town or field or woods.
They took counsel together to plan for their children
how they could best live their lives
without much discomfort, care and strife
and mostly for the coming multitude of their children
for their success.
They sent to great scholars to teach them good works.
They asked them for our Lord's sake
to give their children work
so that they could earn a living,
both well and honestly and with security.
Say, you know, again, pretty boring,
goes on out, goes on for a long, long time.
Here's a little more, kind of gets into the masonry.
Furthermore, he ordered that he should be called master,
so that he would be most honored.
He should be called that, but mason should never call one another
among themselves within the craft subject or servant, my dear brother,
although one is not as skillful as another.
Everyone should call each other fellows in friendship
because they were all born to ladies. And this way through knowledge of geometry, the craft of
masonry began. The scholar Euclid found it in this way, the craft of geometry.
All right, so a lot of regular role. A lot of a lot of you should do this, you should
do that. But this is the basis of a lot of modern, free mason kind of pageantry. And
you know, so there you have it. Group of dudes, good of building shit, care a lot of modern Freemason kind of pageantry. And you know, so there you have it.
Group of dudes, good of building shit, care a lot about the professional, water protection
livelihoods.
So how did that transform into the, you know, one of our time suckers using membership
in Freemasons to get a job as a waiter?
Nothing to do with building.
Let's talk about speculative masonry.
16th and early 17th century England was an especially rough, confusing time for the average
peasant. series of religious wars
shifted the royal families allegiance back and forth
between Catholicism and Protestantism.
You know, one day you're getting burned to the stake
for being Protestant, the next you can be executed
for being Catholic, you know, a heretic.
Sometimes the Protestants even went to war against each other.
You know, some days it was okay to be a Calvinist,
other days you know, you could be Lutheran,
sometimes Anglican.
You know, and then later in the 17th century,
the age of reason hit England.
Science became the new religion for many.
The scientific method was their God, some nobles and peasants stopped looking only to God
for the answer to their lives.
It was cool to be a nerd.
And some Masonic orders in England and Scotland began to admit non-Mason members to their
ranks, due to not know shit about building shit.
In 1660, the Royal Society of London had its first meeting in 1663.
It would be known as the Royal Society of London for improving natural knowledge.
The group was fully supported, revered by King Charles II.
Many of its members were early Freemasons, such as Robert More,
Lyos Ashmold, Dr. John Dejaug, Dejaug, Dejaug, Dejaug, Dejaug, Dejaug, Dejaug, Dejaug, Dejaug, Dejaug, Dejaug, Dejaug, Dejaug, Dejaug, Dejaug, Dejaug, Dejaug, Dejaug, Dejaug, Dejaug, Dejaug, Dejaug, Dejaug, Dejaug, Dejaug, Dejaug, Dejaug, Dejaug, Dejaug, Dejaug, Dejaug, Dejaug, Dejaug, Dejaug, Dejaug, Dejaug, Dejaug, Dejaug, Dejaug, Dejaug, Dejaug, Dejaug, Dejaug, Dejaug, Dejaug, Dejaug, Dejaug, Dejaug, Dejaug, Dejaug, Dejaug, Dejaug, Dejaug, Dejaug, Dejaug, Dejaug, Dejaug, Dejaug, Dejaug, Dejaug, Dejaug, Dejaug, Dejaug, Dejaug, Dejaug, Dejaug, Dejaug, Dejaug, Dejaug, Dejaug, Dejaug, Dejaug, Dejaug, Dejaug, Dejaug, Dejaug, Dejaug, Dejaug, Dejaug, Dejaug, Dejaug, Dejaug, Dejaug, Dejaug, Dejaug, Gulias, Sir Christopher Ren, and these crazy ass looking wig wear and mother
fuckers drank tea, and they discussed the important intellectual matters of the day.
And they didn't just answer the most questions, you know, with some form of because God said
so.
And that pissed a lot of religious people of the day, the hell off.
And they started to be looked at as possible devil worshipers, right?
Sometimes, I mean, historically, that really is all it would take.
You know, it was just as simple as, do you believe that the Bible has every
answer to every important question you have in life? No.
Then you are a devil worshiper. What? No, no, no, no, no, I don't believe in the devil.
I'm definitely not a devil worshiper, which is exactly what a devil worshiper would say.
You'll either believe in the Bible or you worship the devil.
Those are the options.
You're with us, so you're against us.
For Jesus or for Satan, make your choice.
I choose not to participate.
This is very intense.
Exactly what the devil wants you to say, walking away from the light
and walking into the darkness.
And if you think I'm picking on Christianity right now,
I am not.
It's just the history that relates to the speculation about today's topic.
Historically, you know, it's just it is what it is a lot of Christians have seen the world's souls as falling into one of two and only two categories
Those who worshiped the one true Christian God and will rejoice in heaven and listen to you know harps or or smooth jazz or
Maybe little Michael mother fucking McDonald's so many promises
Never should be spoken. Now I know what love in you
costs. Now I know we're talking divorce and we weren't even married on my own. Okay, okay, that's all I got.
Second suckers, that was a little taste to have in for you.
Yep, that's how it sounds up there.
That was pure angel music right there.
I went way too high at the start of that by the way and I got trapped and I couldn't go
higher.
So there was the people going to have it and then there was the people who, whether they
realized or not, were on the devil's team and they they were gonna burn hell, and like a fire forever.
There was no third destination,
and that's why some conspiracy theorists argue
that Christopher Renn, or argued,
that Christopher Renn and other Masons were Satanists,
which is especially ironic for Renn,
considering he designed a total of 53 London churches,
including the majestic St. Paul's Cathedral,
London, which I've been in, is just an awe-inspiring building.
So the satanic origin rumors really are odd
considering that the main employer of Mason's
were Christians.
Catholics especially built a lot of cathedrals
using Mason's, and all that early building
is why the symbol for the Mason's is a square
and a set of compasses, the tools of an architect.
The symbolism of architecture was important to Mason's
because of the origins of their group,
and because the architect on a medieval
Cathedral project was a true intellectual, you know what kind of mention that earlier you know
He pays a specialized knowledge few others had you know
He had to know about mathematics geometry physics art literature had to communicate well
You know verbally passing along plans those literate workmen, you know had to be well versed in the Bible had to be
Have a lot of religious knowledge because much of the decoration that was carved in the stone and designed in the stained glass windows
and cathedrals was meant to tell biblical stories to an illiterate population.
And then in 1666 a significant event happened in the history of the Free
Masons. The great fire of 1666 destroyed much of London. 666 the devil's number,
the Mason's honest the power of the Dark Lord.
They were able to conjure the very flames of hell to burn the city down, and we build it
in their own nefarious image. Full of buildings with little Mason symbols hidden throughout
them, transformed these buildings into hell portals. So the Dark Lord and his minions could
occasionally transport themselves to the surface of the earth and
And you know they could eat they could eat fish and chips sometimes because the dark lord
Loves his fish and chips and sodas lose the fena
She loves a good plate of bangers and mash with crispy peas and that sweet onion gravy
And the dark lord's free mason plans are working keep Keep pretending it's not real while demons slowly take over London.
It's been a very slow takeover for some reason.
It's been over 350 years since the fire and London still doesn't seem to be a hot bit
of demonic activity, but whatever.
It's going to happen.
It's almost as if it's all a bunch of Wacadoodle nonsense.
But anyways, after the fire, the masons, such as Christopher Ren rebuilt the city,
lots of Masons in going on, all of a sudden,
so much masoning.
And the demand for all the rebuilding combined
with the age of reason really fueled membership
in the Masons.
Early launches are springing up all over town.
It was, you know, it was a real sausage fest in that town.
A lot of dudes hanging out with other dudes,
having drinks, talking about dudes shit.
And the late 17th, it begin is the 18th century more important
Misonic history happens
Besonic lodges at this time are meeting in coffee houses or ale houses
Generally named after the places that they were where they would meet and then in February 1717
The rumour and grapes the crown the apple tree the goose and gridiron lodges all gathered at the apple tree tavern and Charles Street in
Covent Garden area of London to discuss who exactly had the dumbest fucking group name.
And the Goosen Gridiron, one in a landslide, we have the silliest name.
No, the groups that met to discuss the future of masonry in England, three lodges were
made up of mostly operative masons with a few accepted gentlemen members, some gentlemen,
but the rummaring graves,
that was almost entirely a gentleman's lodge
with a handful of noblemen thrown in.
You know, they had a solid gentleman to noblemen ratio.
That's he, that's fella, he has the soft hat,
he's a gentleman, he has a gentle hands, and over there,
with the man with a slightly larger hands, he's noblem.
I don't know why I went to hand size there.
They wanted some rules and regulations.
They wanted to gather a big group every year
for a celebratory feast.
They wanted to see it too with the masonry increase,
it's membership.
The one thing they did not want was for the free mason
to become just another eating, drinking,
and corousing club.
Like many such clubs popping up all over London.
Clubs like the beef steak club.
The turf club, the Carlton, the guards, the prats, the crooked teeth, the pasty calves, and
the giant Adams apples. I made up those last three, but I think they sounded no less made
up than the other real ones to accomplish proper organizing. The rumour and grapes
decided to form a governing group known as the grand lodge the lodges met again on
June 24th 1717 Saint John the Baptist day at the goosen at the goosen
good day dianne a house and taint polls chocchot under the shadow of a great
cathedral they elected Anthony sayer a real mother fucker a real asshole i don't
know anything about it other than he was a gentleman member of the crown
lodge and he was the first grandmaster of the
Grand Lodge of England and free Masonry was changed forever. The new Grand
Lodge announced that it alone claimed the right to charter new lodges of
Mason's in England. The original lodges were number one through four new
lodges were numbered sequentially as they signed on into the Grand Lodge of
England. Got a little order now. It's not all chaos. Now of course the lodges
of Mason's outside of london
found this news to be somewhat a surprise you know it was kind of like
christianity after the after martin loothers
uh... Protestant reformation everyone suddenly has their own ideas on how to
run shit
uh... the scholarship iris launches were completely on the press by the la
did i purchase presumption of authority typical eighteenth century brits
telling the world what to do so irritating
They remind me of me a
Modern American
Anyway up to this point all that had been needed to start a lodge was for 10 mason's to agree to do so as long as they'd hear to the ancient
Charges the old rules set down it works like the Regious poem and the Regious Manager
And there's new grand lodge to take and pretty bold step in claiming sweeping powers
predictably soon-caused an argument or two
One of the first things a new Grand Lodge did was to go after more nobility as members
You know figuring to give them some prestige
Star power not just an American invention the Duke of Montague became the fourth Grand Master in 1721
And he's you know and he sat in that lodge and he put his pinky out and he stepped a fuckload of tea.
That's why I picture the duke of Montague doing so much tea.
So much pinky out, out, pinky, always out, tea, always hot, wig, always on.
Eventually more royalty arrived in the form of the duke of Cumberland.
Brother of King George III, the duke of Cumberland became Grandmaster in 1782.
Always the surest way to establish itself
is being more respectable, noble,
and more than the run of Mill Social Clubs
was to prove ancient pedigree.
So free masonry was no longer for stone masons,
but it was still connected by a legendary trail
back to those early Masonic logists,
chartered by Old King Atholstand back in 10th century York.
It's mythical origins went back to King Solomon
and even before him.
You know, early Masons made sure to make this
ancient connection prominent.
So, you know, creating symbolism based on the ancient Masons,
you know, gives a group a little more pop than his rivals.
So while the ancient link to Masons is somewhat real,
it also feels very manufactured, you know,
in the 18th century, just made up kind of for show.
You know, although Masonsth century, just made up kind of for show.
You know, although Mason's won't reveal their secrets, I highly, highly doubt that any
ancient stone working or mystical knowledge has ever been revealed in the little free
Mason lodge, for example, of Grangel Idaho.
I doubt a couple old, you know, white, small town men in Grangel Idaho are trading secrets
of how to build the fucking pyramids using their illuminati mines.
Highly down to any babies were sacrificed
so that moderately successful,
Grangel Idaho County farmers could continue
to be moderately successful
and make that moderately successful farm and money.
Yeah, 1723, another important year in Masonic history,
a Presbyterian minister named James Anderson,
directed by the Grand Allodge to write a history of the craft and outline its rules.
First published in 1723, the collected work was known as the Devil's Guide to Everything.
No, it was known as the Book of Constitutions and contained a new and improved version
of the ancient charges.
Ever since that time, most modern lodges and grand lodges have been covered in a general
sense by the basic guidelines set down by James Anderson's work.
One of the most important revolutionary rules is the first one it reads in part, in ancient
times, Masons with Charge to every country to be the religion of that country or nation.
Whatever it was, it is now thought more expedient only to oblige them to that religion in which
all men agree, leaving their particular opinions to themselves, that is to be good men and true, or men of honor and honesty,
by whatever denominations and persuasions they may be distinguished. This policy was revolutionary
for the times free masons required a belief in God to become a member, but no questions would be
asked about the members' personal religion. To further cement this requirement,
masons referred to God in their rituals as the grand architect of the universe.
From this point on, Catholic, Anglican, Presbyterian, Calvinist, Puritan believers, all welcome to join. As long as they kept the religious arguments and prejudices to themselves,
even non-Christians were allowed to become Mason's. Jewish people began to take an interest
in the fraternity, again revolutionary, to have so many people from so many walks of life
come together in friendship for the purpose of advancing academic and scientific knowledge.
Early members of this initial organized Freemason lodge in Britain and the like it's lodges
brought Freemason teachings and then the lodges to the rest of the world through British
colonialism.
For example, it's Britain settled what is now the United States.
They also brought over the teachings and organization of the Freemasons because a lot of those early
colonists were members by 1730 official Freemasons lodges had been established in Philly in Boston
1775 a free African American named Prince Hall set up the first African American Freemasons lodging Boston lodged number
441
however many American
Freemasons despite Freemasons brotherly love ideals just as racist as most people back then and the original African-American
Freemasons lodge and other lodges were constantly losing their charters and then regaining them only to lose them again. Finally in 1827 a group of men formed their own grand lodge and began charting their own members.
It was eventually named the Prince Hall grand lodge and today there are more than 250,000 members belonging to roughly 4,000
today there are more than two hundred and fifty thousand members belong to roughly four thousand
prince hall affiliated lodges
again uh... like uh... kind of christianity they're breaking down into many
different factions denominations over the years
uh... free mason's have done the same
perhaps the most famous uh... american free mason of all is bow jangles
bow jangles is a scottish right thirty third degree master mason
and not only did he design the Washington Monument,
it was modeled after his dick.
Yes, finally, you have the truth.
That's what the National Back in Monument
or whatever that weird movie with the guy from Conair.
It's trying to tell you, the Washington Monument
thought to be modeled after an ancient Egyptian obelisk
is actually a Bojangles dick replica.
It is however almost twice as big as Bojangles' real fully erect dick which when 100% erect
was more effective as a siege weapon than it was as a love tool.
And another secret actually how we won the siege of Yorktown which ended the Revolutionary
War.
Bojangles slammed his giant hard dick into roughly 9,000 British troops time and time again
Smashing some beating the morale out of the others. He beat out in an sense
He beat off the British troops Bojangles beating off 9,000 British troops
Think about it and make sense f.way. I
Bojangles would only make love at five to ten percent maximum reaction to keep him killing his lovers as many lovers Bojangles
Okay, that may or may not be real history. I may have had a seizure. What is definitely history is that George Washington, our first president and
future time-sex subject, is America's most celebrated Freemason. The Bible
Washington used to be sworn in as president was taken from a Freemason lodge.
The lodge is still has it, the same Johns lodge, number one in New York. At least four other presidents have been sworn in using that same St. John's Bible,
Warren G. Harding, Dwight D. Eisenhower, Jimmy Carter, George H. W. Bush.
George W. Bush did request it, but it was raining on his inauguration day.
And so he was given a copy of Mad Magazine to be sworn in with.
No, he used some other Bible.
As the Freemasons grew in popularity in the late 18th and 19th centuries, to be sworn in with. No, you use some other Bible.
As the Freemasons grew in popularity in the late 18th and 19th centuries, the organization
also began to become more complex.
Logists began offering new levels of knowledge to keep people interested, such as the Scottish
right.
One system of degrees, yeah, was offered by the Royal Arch, cryptic, and shivalric, especially
the night's temple branches of Masonry, became known as the American or or Yorkrite Thomas Webb was a particularly avid promoter of these degrees.
The only other degrees came out of France and were mostly administered by the Supreme
Council in Charleston, South Carolina.
The system was eventually known as the Scottishrite, the spread of the Yorkrite dominated the
Northern States, whereas the Scottishrite had its greatest of the York right dominated the northern states, whereas
the Scottish right had its greatest early success in the southern states.
So just, you know, there's adding kind of levels and things to learn to kind of keep membership
increasing.
And just because it was, you know, something fun to do, you know, Americans, despite, you
know, breaking away from England, still love the British pop and circumstance on some
level.
They want us in pageantry.
They want to be some cool titles.
It reminds me of running for Sergeant of Arms,
class Sergeant of Arms in high school.
Did I have any real idea
what the job of Sergeant of Arms was?
No, no idea.
It just sounded cooler than being secretary.
I wanted to be Sergeant of Arms,
I did not want to be class secretary.
Getting to cool title is fun.
Even though I came up with it,
I'm excited to be a space lizard,
because it sounds cool.
I almost do like a mental trick on myself, like I'm gonna be surprised what spaces are able to do, even though I'm trying to come up with it, I'm excited to be a space lizard because it sounds cool. I almost do like a mental trick on myself like I'm gonna be surprised what space lizards are able to do.
Even though I'm trying to come up with what space lizards are able to do.
And my brain is like, oh there's this fucking cool knowledge out there for the space lizards.
The York and Scottish right degrees, you know, we're packed full of all kinds of extra pageantry, each degree,
told a new symbolic story, you know, had its own dramatic presentation,
conferred an impressive title on the candidate. Each degree taught a morality lesson,
brought biblical and other legendary stories to life with the Mason,
the center of the ceremony. He's the VIP. You know, it was emotionally exciting.
It was a form of frontier theater for a lot of pioneers out west.
You probably, you know, we're fucking bored. You know, they're entertainment stars.
Not that they're going to go to the movies. Now, so they get to have a Mason ceremony.
But then in 1826, some East Coast freemasins
brought some seriously bad press into the group
that has remained forever.
On little town of Batavia, a disgruntled Mason named William
Morgan announced his intention to write a book exposing
all the secrets of the freemasins.
Several local masons decided that Morgan was something of a scoundrel
and by exposing the rituals of the lodge who was breaking Masonic vows so they abducted him the
kidnapped him they carried him off to fort n' agra or lake ontario along the canyon border
and the conspirators claimed they paid Morgan 500 bucks gave him a horse pointed in north
and told him never come back highly doubt that happened highly doubt they just gave some do they
hated 500 bucks which is a lot of money back then, and send him on his way. That makes no sense. Guessing they probably killed him
and there would be speculation that they just fucking threw him in the lake. Whatever happened
Morgan was never seen again. 26 men were indicted in connection with his disappearance.
Only six were ever tried, none on murder charges. And then it was discovered that the prosecutor
and many of the jurors were free-masins. And the trial resulted in very lenient sentences.
Dun, dun, dun. The trial becameient sentences. Da-da-da!
The trial became national news.
The public believed that Masons had killed Morgan according to the Masonic ritual, and
then cheated justice by receiving short sentences from their Masonic friends who controlled
the courts and the government, including, you know, the governor and free-mason, Duwitt
Clinton.
Man, the Clintons always up to something.
The Duwitt Clinton is probably the grandfather of both Bill and Hillary.
Probably has something to do with satanic molestation, Pizzagate. Well, the drama's
hold a lot of newspapers, despite rumors of other crimes in your sins, as 1826 incident remains,
the only authentic case in history of Freemasons seriously accused of murdering a member,
who broke their vows. And so, and so, and so, and so what if they did? I think it says more about
those particular members than it does, you know, or maybe their vows. And so, and so what if they did? I think it says more about those particular members
than it does, you know, or maybe that particular lodge
than it does about the international organization as a whole.
Well, the public of 1826 disagreed with me
and hysteria broke out.
When Morgan's book,
Masonic Secrets revealed was published
after his disappearance and were death.
A hundred anti-mation remedients were held in New York
in 1827 alone on St. John's Day
3,000 protesters marched to the Freemason Lodge in Bacfia, attacking the Masons inside, looting
the building, no demons or dead bodies or satanic goats were discovered.
Anti-Masonic political parties were then formed in 1831.
The anti-Masonic party became the first third party movement in the US with the former Freemason William worked
Running for President carrying the state of Vermont at an 8% of the national vote
The anti-Musonic party elected governors to Pennsylvania and Vermont the platform is simple
Freemasons were anti-Christian and thus anti-American and must be expelled from our country to all costs
and must be expelled from our country to all costs.
Mastonic membership dropped 60% nationwide in a single year.
Well, then to prevent anti-Amason's from spying on meetings,
cause more ruckus, a little more trouble for the lodges,
more rituals are created for members to make it even harder
to get in, make it harder for people to faked their way
into the upper levels.
The group became more secretive than ever.
And then with attendance and free-mason lodges low, but interest in joining for
journal organizations high, other groups kind of started to come in and take their place.
Groups like the odd fellows, aka the IOOF, the international order of odd fellows, what
is an odd fellow, you might think?
As I did, well according to their website, an odd fellow basis his thoughts and actions
on healthy philosophical principles.
He believes that life is a commitment to improve and elevate the character of humanity through
service and example.
He is humbled in a way that he never boasts about himself.
He knows and accepts his strengths and weaknesses and keeps away from bad-mouthing people making
unreasonable allegations.
He understands that certain things in life are unavoidable.
He is aware of the vanity of earthly things, the frailty, and inevitable decay of human life,
and the fact that wealth has no power to stop the shurness of eventual death.
What a fucking downer this thing.
And he then asks the question, how am I going to spend my life?
And then it goes on for a while, and it gets to his principles,
Principle 1 of the odd fellows. Why is it serious truths?
And opens up before its members' opportunities for useful service.
Two, belief in a supreme being the creator and preserve of the universe
three the lesson of fraternity that all are of one family and therefore brethren for the importance of the principle
Okay, and just fucking it goes on it goes on you know it goes on
down to most of them are normal
11 principal 11 is kind of weird nothing tastes as sweet as a scared Christian baby.
So that's troublesome.
That probably caught them a little bit of heat,
just being openly satanic.
No, I made that one up.
What is an odd fellow?
To me, it just sounds like a free Mason, right?
They're very similar.
They share a lot of the same values,
also a lot of the same symbolism,
including the all-seeing eye,
which times I can also use this.
Damn it, I'm the Illuminati.
And the odd fellow was one of so many fraternal organizations
that sprung up in the 19th century.
Like they got super popular, right?
Think about it, they didn't have Netflix.
And now they didn't have shit to do,
they didn't have iTunes, they didn't have back in Pandora.
They were bored out of their minds,
they were trying to get away from their wives.
They didn't marry for love as much back then,
they got stuck with people,
they were trying to get out of the house.
And so then all of a sudden, the uh... improved order of red men
uh... the order of the star spangled banner the sons of honor the order of the
good templars the range the ancient order of foresters that one sounds boring to
shit
ancient order of foresters i guess i don't know maybe go to hike or something
the holy and noble nights of labor
the benevolent and protective order of elks
the loyal order of Moose,
and literally hundreds of others,
and all basing their pageant trained rituals off.
Freemasons, the original American secret society.
You know, then there was women groups, form and two.
There was the order of the Eastern Star,
the Rebecca's, the Dalaias, the Michelle's, the Kim's,
the Wendy's, the Shakiris.
No, there was just other Rebecca's. But those things were getting going too. And because the Wendy's, the Shakiris. No, there was just other meccas.
But those things were getting going too.
And because the Catholic Church,
forbade Catholics to join these daughters,
they came up with an equivalent,
to keep their people happy.
They came up with the Knights of Columbus.
All right, the Catholic Freemasons,
I've been to some of their halls.
When I went to Gonzaga, there was one near campus,
and I'm pretty sure I had a tasty pancake buffet
at a Knights of Columbus Hall once. And I definitely did receive a student in the month award from Elk's Lodge when
I was in high school.
I remember I just had to drive to Grangeville and some very old men with some hats in a
musty old building handled me a plaque and I was I was somewhat honored.
And then side groups started popping up like the Scottish right 1853 Albert Pike joined
the Scottish right in Charleston, South Carolina
The degrees he witnessed were interesting to him, but Pike was a devoted scholar of history and world of religions
He felt the degrees taught important lessons but could use some improving so over the next decade
He rewrote the fourth through thirty-second degree rituals
Embellish them with lavish tales of kings and knights of ancient religions and legends and his revisions help make the Scottish right the largest and most popular, appendent body of Freemasonry
in the world.
Its degrees were presented not for one or two initiates in a large room, but as a massive
stage production.
You know, where there's hundreds of candidates, and especially built auditoriums using
state-of-the-art lighting, scenery, special effects.
Well to this day, these Scottish right auditoriums, theaters and cathedrals, like the Scottish
right, cathedral, and Indianapolis, remain the largest Masonic buildings ever constructed.
That one Indianapolis, by the way, I saw some pictures of you get a chance, the Scottish
right cathedral, like beautiful, gothic building, really cool looking.
So basically, you know, since there are only like three levels of being a free Mason, there
was the, and still is, the Antirter Prentice, the fellowcraft, and the Master Mason, they
kind of got these new side groups going like that's got to
right so that a master mason can continue on with
Masonic learning and knowledge.
You know, basically have new video games levels to
fucking level up, you know.
It's like if you make a video game and you only have
10 levels and what people stop playing after they make
level 10 but then if you come up with the fucking booster
pack and you get an extra, you know, 50 levels.
Well, you keep people buying that game, you keep people
playing it.
So that sounds to me like what went on.
And then the counterculture revolution of the 60s
and early 70s hits, and suddenly,
everybody thinks that what their parents did was lame.
You know, which was unlike previous generations, you know,
when sons would join lodges with their dads,
be happy to go to the lodge with their dad,
well now kids want nothing to do with their parents,
so young membership and fraternal lodges plummets.
Gerald Ford is the last free mason to be president. All in all, again, I said earlier,
14 presidents have been mason's. The full list of George Washington, James Monroe, Andrew Jackson,
James Pope, James Buchanan, Andrew Johnson, James Garfield, William McKenney, Teddy Motherfucking
Roosevelt, William Taft, William Harding, Eleanor, I mean FDR, Harry Truman and Ford as we
said earlier. And then Dan Brown, he writes the Wildly Popular Novel to DaVinci Code based
somewhat on free masonry and interest in America's secret societies skyrockets. Memberships
picked up a little bit as we heard earlier, although it's still primarily an old boys club.
But you know, it's, it's, it's, who knows, you know,
and the everybody knows everything about you,
Facebook, culture we now live in.
Maybe the pendulum will swing back.
I think it might, you know,
and more people are gonna crave membership in Masons,
groups like the Freemasons
because people are gonna want a secret life
because our lives are so public now.
All right, well that is it about it for part one.
As far as a basic overview of the Masons, we will dig much further into the outlandish conspiracies
that surround them in part two. And for a little taste of what they may look like, let's
check in right now with the idiots of the internet.
To find today's internet gold, there's gold in these here 3rds at Helio, richest to be
on COVID.
Mine nominally idiotic babble to be presented in March.
Man can make it fortune in these 3rds at Helio, there's so much gold, pure, pure idiotic
nuggets of Tom Foulore.
Well, to find today's gold, I YouTube free Mason's exposed.
And I filtered it by the highest view count.
And I found a video titled, Watch This All Caps Before Joining Free Masonry.
Everything Exposed All Caps, Published by the Scariest Movie Ever, On December 12, 2014
over 3 million views.
And the video description reads, Let me tell you a story of a man.
He reads the highest level of free masonry,
rubbing elbows with presidents, celebrities, politicians, the elite,
and why he decided to walk away completely, all caps.
The veil lifted on these dark rituals.
Please, all caps, share this with anyone you know that maybe a free Mason or
our thinking of pursuing free Masonry right when they go into the beginning of
these when they say like rubbing elbows with presidents plural celebrities put
get the fuck out of here like like that like where would all those people meet in
the same lodge you complete more on okay so we know it's nonsense I hope we all
know that and then it's it's also posted in the category of education,
which I find hilarious.
And 20 seconds into the video,
big letters on the screen comes a statement,
free masonry is a slow indoctrination
into Satan worship.
Okay?
And then it makes a reference to the word Lucifer
showing up in some free mason literature.
You know, somebody was named Lucifer.
That's proof that free-masonry is without a doubt, Satanic.
So I guess is it proof that I'm Satanic?
I made up the thing Lucifer, which I just thought was a funny, evil character in the show.
That's a bummer.
It's a bummer that I'm Satanic because I have no interest in Satan or even believe in
him.
So that's a bummer that I have to now worship someone that I don't like if they are
real and don't happen to believe it.
Man, and he talks about the Shriners, you know, because those guys got to be satanic, you know, the people who give free medical care to very sick children and save their lives, you know, the Shriners of Shriners' hospitals. I guess they reference that Muhammad is God and one of their rights, so they are of the devil.
I always get so tired of that association
that people try to make some people
between Islam and Satanism.
It's fucking stop it.
It's just so inflammatory and nonsensical.
Then the video goes on to describe
how all the major religions are given equal wage,
which again is satanic.
And then it's more the same.
Freemasons don't value Jesus above all,
so they're the work of the devil, blah, blah, blah.
But I'm glad this video was made
because it has led to gold.
So many good comments.
The first one I'm choosing to say out here,
it's a comment made by user,
Lebo Tuntun, I don't fucking the name,
people pick for YouTube is ridiculous.
And Lebo Tuntun posts in all caps,
so much bull dust.
I love it, bull dust.
And the profile picture is a man of about my age.
If you are a grown-ass man using replacement words,
go fuck yourself.
Why are you so fucking scared of some silly four little words
you ignorant dick fuck?
Think about the kind of brain you must have.
You must possess to believe
that there is an all powerful God
who created this amazing universe we live in,
created everything in it,
think about how complex and beautiful and nuanced
our world really is,
but this omnipotent being,
he, they want you to say bull dust instead of bull shit.
Like that's what they're concerned about.
Children are dying of AIDS in Africa
They contracted to be insodimized in a war zone, but shit. That's what that's what gets God's gander up
Holy fuck you and I have so very little in common if that's if that kind of world makes sense to you
user Bernie on fleek
Post something to remind us that there are plenty of good people in the world
Bernie on fleek post what an incredibly well-written piece of fiction.
This man has used an instrument to bash a group of people who sole existence is to help
each other in business and do good works in the community just wonderful.
So you can hear the ESR chasm there.
And then right underneath, user Joel Fry quickly reminds us that there also are plenty of
idiots.
This is funny to be on so many levels as posts.
User Joel Fry says,
from Jesus for him, I say fuck all masons,
the devil in all entertainment and big pharma,
they should all be highly ashamed to ashes.
Literally, that includes all false churches on some things.
Well, man, so many people are gonna be ashamed to ashes.
I've never heard that phrase before.
Wow, Joel, all entertainment, all free masons,
fake churches, and randomly big pharma,
should all burn and hell.
And I love the fuck all masons from Jesus, right?
Like that would ever happen.
Just, hey guys, I got a message from Jesus.
Jesus told me to tell you guys,
and I quote, fuck all masons.
Yeah, cause that's so Jesus-like for him to say.
And then we got even,
and by the way, actually before I move on,
that whole thing of like wanting people to burn in hell,
that's so wicked.
Like, okay, and just all people in entertainment.
So if someone decides to go into acting,
they should, when they die, burn forever.
That's such an intense punishment.
Like, I don't know if you've ever burned yourself.
I have burned myself in a variety of ways in my life.
So painful.
And usually when you burn yourself,
you just touch something for like not even a full second,
because your body immediately recoils,
and then you just feel the pain.
Imagine burning all of the time, like how horrific
truly of a punishment that is, and you're gonna wish
that on somebody for being, I don't know, like a pharmaceutical
salesman.
You're in, you are an idiot, Joel, such an idiot.
Okay, then we get even more nonsensical
with user, Jorma Terrez, who posts, this is just pure
wackadoodle-ness. Okay, it's gonna sound nonsensical because that, Jorma Terras, who posts, this is just pure wackadoodleness.
Okay, it's gonna sound nonsensical
because that's just what happens to be written.
The Masons is Judaism for the Goy
and Judaism is the worship of ball and sat
and equal Satan.
So you are tricked to worship Satan
as in the Catholic Church of today,
it is a Masonic organization as is Islam,
as is any government on earth.
All religions are anti-spiritual and evil.
Wow, what a weird world you live in.
Let me get this straight.
All religions, all governments, the work of Satan.
So he's won then.
I mean, if someone takes over every religion
and takes over every single government,
I would say that they won.
So why are you even posting anything?
Why don't you just, you know,
shouldn't you just be like curled up in a corner crime
and hiding from the many, many, many Satanists
that surround you at all times in your reality?
You know, what are you just killing time on YouTube,
waiting to die, you know, waiting to be killed
by so much Satan surrounding you.
It's a wonder you will even find the time to type anything.
It's amazing, you found the strength to buy a computer
or a smartphone or whatever the hell you use
to make it to the internet.
You know, it must be so hard to get up each morning knowing
that every single religion, every single government in the entire world is satanic.
So, how come you aren't satanic? How did you escape all this? And how come you aren't offering
to help the two or maybe three other people in the world who aren't also millions of the dark lord?
Who types shit like this?
You know, uh, do they work? Do they have a job? Do they have friends? Are their friends as dumb and paranoid as they are just so many questions
So many paranoid religious fanatics in this particular comment section user Adrian Kovlaski posts
Mason's worst of Satan the eye of Lucifer they parade proof enough. And then under so many of these typos,
some Mason tries to correct him.
User Barry Newell responds with,
no we don't.
I love that too.
You know Barry is just beside himself.
He's on his computer reading all this,
like he's some Mason, be like, no, what?
Why do they keep saying this?
No, it's not true.
Where do they get their info?
It makes no sense.
Give up Barry.
It is quite literally impossible to reason with a fanatic
because they don't use reason in their thoughts.
They have decided to go to an unreasonable mental place.
Some place not logical.
They've based their life on the logical.
They're not gonna snap out of it with just a simple like,
no, we don't, you know?
You're not gonna like someone,
when you're talking to somebody who's like,
you eat babies in the basement of your devil's ass. You conjure demons and prepare for the battle of the end times you feast on the blood and torment of the pure and righteous
What dude? No, we don't we have a taco bar and some drinks and then we just kind of you know lately
We've been talking about what's gonna happen next season and game of thrones
Seriously, yeah, all that's telling your soul to the devil and the actual
satanic ritual stuff, that's just kind of modern, you know, medieval nonsense. You know,
thousand years from now, people are going to look, you know, on people being scared of some horned
beast stealing their soul. The same way we look, you know, back up people, you know, believe in
the Zeus could come down from Mount Olympus and then fuck their wife or something. It's insanity.
You know, I just, you know, I get it, You know, it's people scared and they're trying to make sense of the world in order to stand. You know,
and grass mistrust. Oh, oh, shit. Oh, okay. All right. Do you have, do you have extra
tacos? Do you have, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Well, with cheese and we have street tacos
as well. That's fantastic. I love both of those. Yeah. No, religious paranoia, man. I
get so worked up about it because has any good ever come from it? Like literally any
good just ever
Salem witch trials honor killings terrorist attacks crusade Spanish acquisition. It's come on. Please, please
Please let it be enough such a paranoid pointless way to waste your talents in life
Today's last idiot
Madey Madeline seems to be wasting hers. She posts this really upset me
You know the hidden hand thing the Freemasons do.
Well, yeah, I was watching this quote unquote Christian music
video worn by 10th Avenue North,
and the guy was doing the same thing
with his hand in his jacket.
I'm not saying all Christians are bad,
but I'm just going to say not everyone.
It's who they say they are.
This poor girl, this poor dumb girl,
she has gotten so worked up about the devil
being around every corner,
she is actually worried that the dude
from 10 Avenue North is a secret Satanist.
You can't even enjoy Christian music, she's that scared.
And she just also convinced me to watch a video
for worn by 10th Avenue North.
And you know what, I gotta say, it's fucking great.
Like I'm not kidding, it's a great song.
And the hidden hand thing, he's holding his hand
to his heart for dramatic effect,
you idiot.
She must be a real hoot to hang out with, right?
Just, just one of those people who sees Satan and everything.
Just, did you hear how that, how that kitten just, just mulled?
Devil, is the devil kitty.
Look at the way that old lady uses her stroller to cross the street to her walker.
She takes six steps and pauses, six steps and pauses, six or seven steps
and pauses, six, six or seven, probably six, six, six, six, definitely the devil. Look at
that baby with a sippy cup, sip, sip, sip, three sips, sips, sound like six, sip, sip,
sip, sip, six, six, six. So, you know, maybe a thanks for making me laugh
about how paranoid you are.
And also, thanks to the guys in 10th Avenue North
for reminding me about all the plenty
of super cool Christians out there.
Those guys, I didn't know about them.
I don't know how they've sold,
I think millions of records.
They also donate to Compassion International
and write very cool uplifting songs.
Yeah, again, I feel like I have to keep saying
that I'm not joking because people, you know, probably with my perspective, again, I feel like I have to keep saying that I'm not joking, because people,
probably with my perspective, think that I'm joking.
No, man, good shit, guys.
And that's enough idiots of the internet for now.
There will be so many more on Monday. [♪ Music playing in the background, music playing in the background, music playing in the background, music playing in the background, music playing in the background, music playing in the background, music playing in the background, music playing in the background, music playing in the background, music playing in the background, music playing in the background, music playing in the background, music playing in the background, music playing in the background, music playing in the background, music playing in the background, music playing in the background, music playing in the background, music playing in the background, music playing in the background, music playing in the background, music playing in the background, music playing in the background, music playing in the background, music playing in the background, music playing in the background, music playing in the background, music playing in the background, music playing in the background, music playing in the background, music playing in the background, music playing in the background, music playing in the background, music playing in the background, music playing in the background, music playing in the background, music playing in the background, music playing in the background, music playing in the background, music playing in the background, music playing in the background, music playing in the background, music playing in the background, music playing in the background, music playing in the background, music playing in the background, music playing in the background, music playing in the background, music playing in the background, music playing in the background, music playing in the background, music playing in the background, music playing in the background, music playing in the background, music playing in the background, music playing in the background, music playing in the background, music playing in the background sound like a way for people to fulfill their need for religion,
you know, if it's, you know, a person who doesn't subscribe
to one of the currently established religions.
You know, maybe you don't believe in a particular book,
maybe you don't wanna go church all the time,
you don't wanna church with your family,
but you want something bigger than yourself to be a part in.
I mean, I get it.
You know, I mean, I feel something similar with time suck.
I, again, I've always been like a small pack guy,
you know, I've always been kinda good with my wife
and very small group of friends. Friends I barely stay in touch with, to be totally honest, I'm always been like a small pack guy. You know, I've always been kind of good with my wife and a very small group of friends.
Friends I barely stay in touch with to be totally honest.
I'm kind of a shitty friend, you know, my kids.
And I've always thought that's all I needed,
but I am kind of feeling that tribe vibe now.
You know, I do enjoy being part of a larger group.
Time suckers.
I'll never want to be around people all the time.
I'm too introverted for that.
You know, I need my loan time, least I think I do.
But I get free rent Mason's being cool
where you can go twice a month if you want.
You can have a nice dinner with some bro friends,
especially if you're somebody who has trouble making friends.
You know, you're a loan, you're a lonely.
You know, you get to have some sense of community.
You know, and you get to have some spiritual fulfillment
without the dogmatism of church,
if that's not what your thing is.
You know, you get to learn some secrets,
which secrets always make people feel special.
You know, who doesn't like that.
You know, it's a cool club way to network, you know, way for to meet new people and make
new friends, way for guys to get a break from their lives, girlfriends and kids, you know,
and I think that's all it is.
I think it's ties to ancient knowledge or larger symbolic.
What I don't think it is, you know, is, you know, you make it, you know, far enough, you
make it into some inner circle and you gain world-dominated insights.
I don't think that.
I think that if that was true,
there would be no ethos of freemasins
from various walks of life hanging out.
There would just be rich and powerful freemasins
and freemasins who are about to become rich and powerful,
through the power of satanic secrets or something,
which doesn't make sense,
because there's plenty of freemasins out there
who are not like world rulers.
Okay, so I don't wanna make any more conclusions
because there's still more freemasin research to be done. Maybe I will come across something that's gonna change my mind. Who knows, so I don't want to make any more conclusions because there's still more free Mason research to be done.
Maybe I will come across something that's gonna change my mind.
Who knows, maybe I'll come across them convincingly
nefarious info over the weekend.
Right now, it is time for today's top five takeaways.
Time shut, top five takeaways.
Number one, the free Masons and their organized form
began on June 24, 17,, St. John the Baptist Day
at the Goose and Gridiron Ale House in St. Paul's Church Art in London under the shadow
of the Great Cathedral.
Anthony Sayer, a gentleman member of the Crown Lodge, was elected as the first grand master
of the Grand Lodge of England and Freemasonry, was changed forever.
The new Grand Lodge announced that it alone claimed the right to charter any new lodges
of Masons in England. The original lodges were numbered right to charter any new lodges of mason's in England.
The original lodges were numbered one through four and new lodges were numbered sequentially
as they signed on to the new Grand Lodge of England.
Number two, the symbol for the Freemasons comes from Architects' tools.
The square and the compass and is a nod to the original mason's who actually built lodges
instead of having dinners inside of them.
It is not a nod to the devil, which is exactly what the devil would say.
Okay, number three.
George Washington was a free mason and was sworn in as the first president of the United
States using a free masonry Bible.
Number four, being a free mason is basically giving yourself a place to go to church
for people who don't want to go to church.
I would still want to go somewhere and get some rituals.
It's a less churchy church from what I've gathered so far.
Number five, new info.
Let's talk about the cornerstone ceremony.
That's what a lot of people know about Masons.
Because of their heritage as builders of cathedrals
and other public structures, the free Masons
have historically performed a special ceremony
at the Lane of Cornerstorm for new buildings upon request.
In modern times, these events are barely noticed
by the public, but in previous centuries,
the Lane of a Cornerstorn for a new building
was a very big festive celebration.
In the case of the Courthouse, City Hall,
or other major government building,
parades were often held, speeches were given,
free masons were symbolically laid at cornerstorn,
cornerstone, my God, the free masons built all types
of structures, let their symbols for other masons
to notice it and my other work.
So, you know, if you have some Freemasons markings on one of your buildings,
in a building you live in, you know, especially in the cornerstone,
or, you know, for that, I guess any stone, congrats.
You're probably living in a big-ass, architecturally significant building,
and you might be stupid rich.
Time, suck, tough, five, take away.
All right, part one is done.
More free masonry, the deep tracks coming your way on Monday.
Couple of reminders before we get to the time-sucker updates for today.
First one is February 24th, Corridor Lane, Idaho, beautiful Idaho.
The first space lizard event meeting at the Suck Dungeon.
Are you curious?
I hope so.
Let's hang.
Let's have fun.
For the details on how to score an invitation, follow at secret space lizards on Instagram.
Our very own event coordinator, Harmony Velocamp, will be announcing how to win this Friday,
January, 5th, right after this week's bonus suck episode.
It's gonna be fun.
If you're doing already, listen to Time Suck on the Time Suck app, show notes, podcast
player, and more.
Starting in February, it's gonna be the place
where you'll be able to download
and listen to the Secret Suck.
You know, in five bucks a month,
we'll get you the Secret Suck each week
and you'll stand up out of mind.
You can only get through signing up for the Secret Suck
and exclusive merch access.
The ability to vote on Monday topics,
20% discount on non-lizard merch.
I have two new albums,
previously unrecorded material coming out in the next month.
One called Maybe I'm the Problem, currently set to debut on Pandora January 24th.
I'll have more details in that soon.
I'll have a link where even non-premium Pandora users can listen to the albums tracks in order.
And I have another album, a new one called Feel the Heat.
You can only get by signing up for a premium membership.
You'll get to, you know, you'll be able to do this through Patreon here soon.
I'll get that set up and then I'll let you know.
And if enough you sign up and become space, I'll be able to do this, you'll pay your own here soon. I'll get that set up and then I'll let you know. And if enough you sign up and become space, there's all to be able to continue to add more
features to the app.
Build the community of the cult of the curries, get our own secret society going.
The TimeStack store, other than stickers, which I got to get some new ones designed,
is currently completely restocked.
Hoodies, hats, t-shirts, more, all the TimeStack podcast.com.
Special thanks to TimeStackers Ken, Weimar, Victor, Sussneros, Neabachler, Mike Cooper,
Elliott Borders, Will Butler, others for suggesting today's topic.
Thanks to everyone who voted for it on Instagram at Time Suck Podcast.
Thanks to Sidney Shives for killing it on social media,
Harmony Velocamp for all her kick-ass positive energy,
amazing ladies. Thanks to Josh Crel for his continual help,
and thanks to all of you who write in. Listen, spread the word, buy merch, come to shows, click the Amazon
link on timesockpodcast.com and support the show while you shop. Thanks to all of you who
spread the word to your friends and family who rate and review the show every where you
listen and build up the suck and make this show possible. Your word of mouth, your ratings,
your reviews, that is what makes this show possible.
That's what keeps it going.
This Monday, part two of the Freemasons, so much more to suck.
What is their relationship if any to the Knights Templar?
What are the best juiciest secrets out there about the Freemasons?
How did they get started?
Why do they use the symbols they do so much more to suck?
And right now, let's suck on some time-sucker updates. Okay, first of course, because it's me, a pronunciation correction. Oh, mush mouth.
Strikes again. This is from Time Sucker and Kool-Ambree, Hannah Hudgens. She says,
Dear Master Sucker, I have to say I admire the shit out of you for the ability to take
constructive criticism
Especially when it comes to pronunciation. I've actually started to spawn more positively to criticism because of your podcast
I have a bachelor of arts and music with an emphasis in classical voice
So I feel that gives me enough standing to address this pronunciation issue in the Einstein time suck
You pronounce Mozart incorrectly. I swear I'm not being picky and asking for the perfect German pronunciation.
The Z is pronounced TS. No crazy German accent or anything. It's just common practice in America to say Mozart.
And you know what? I thank you for sending that in, Hannah, because earlier in this episode,
Mozart came up and I hit it the right way. So she says also, I'm loving the suck. It's a great to
learn about interesting topics from someone who sounds like humor. I was a big fan of your stand-up before
the suck, and now I'm proud to be in the cult of curious of the curious. Stay curious, Hannah.
Thank you, Hannah. I love the, uh, stay curious sign up, by the way. I forgot about that one.
And yes, and again, just thank you, uh, for the Mozart correction. Uh, I was given at that good old
Marica pronunciation. Marica, Mozart. Uh, I hate criticism America pronunciation, America, Mozart.
I hate criticism actually, or I have historically,
but I am getting a lot better about it, excuse me.
And I'm consciously trying to be good example
and taking it because I do feel that not enough
of our public leaders and just people in our culture
do the same.
And you know, instead of apologizing
and just saying, just,
just whoops, made a mistake, shit happens.
I feel like so many people just doubled down
on their original lie just to avoid
I don't know. I guess looking weak
I just such a horrible needless trait that is not productive towards create an atmosphere for the positive exchange of ideas
For growth for learning there's no shame and make mistakes man. No, it's perfect
And if you don't think you know you do make mistakes well congratulations. You're an asshole and your friends can't stand you
Speaking of taking criticism. I don't always take it well.
I don't take it well when it's unfounded.
And that's this next update.
The second one, this really cracked me up.
It comes from someone who may be a former time sucker now.
I'm not sure.
I'll leave his last name out actually when I read this.
I'll just say it's a time sucker by the name of Thomas,
who wrote in with, I started listening to this podcast
because I like your comedy
and I think the premise of the podcast is a good one.
Time sucks at things you're interested in, awesome.
To be honest, I binged most of the early episodes
until I cut up, I was that into your podcast.
Notice the past tense I was.
However, your subject matter has drifted
into the realm of macabre, a little too much lately.
And as a father, I can only listen to so many stories
about torture, rape, and murder,
especially involving children.
I like being informed and don't mind an unsettling episode every once in a while, but I was really
looking forward to the newest episode of the new year to see if 2018 would come with any
positive vibes from the time so true.
I mean, we needed after such a crazy 2017 and god damn it, if it wasn't about the motherfucking
despicable filth of a human being John Wayne Gacy.
Do we need to time suck this motherfucker?
Really? That's how you're going to start off a new year will not for me
I refuse to listen to it or any further time suck until you get in here with some shiny happy fucking episodes peace
All right Thomas. I know Gacy was a sick bastard, but where the fuck have you been dude?
Einstein was the week before buddy and before that
Eleanor Rose of. And before that, Eleanor Roosevelt, before that Oak Island mystery, dude, you picked a really weird time to make that particular complaint.
I just released two shiny fucking happy episodes during the holidays, right before Gacyman.
Eleanor Roosevelt and Einstein both shiny happy.
And the one before that might not have been shiny or happy, but it certainly was not dark
and murderous.
So Thomas, if you're gonna complain,
at least make a reasonable complaint.
Oh, in today's episode, not about murder,
and neither's Mondays.
Five out of six, once we get to Monday,
of the most recent episodes will not be murderous.
So, you know, complain away,
but do it about something legitimate.
I just felt like that was like a weird knee jerk reaction
you had to Gacy.
The next update is also about Gacy.
It's an update from Time Sucker, Crystal Terry,
Dear Master Sucker, Love the New Episode,
Evil Killer Clown is definitely one of my favorites.
I heard you mention Pennywise was based off John Wayne Gacy
and I didn't know that.
However, I do know that Twisty the Clown
from American Horror Story is based on Gacy.
So just thought I'd share.
You know that's right, I forgot about that.
And yes, I did see that season of American Horror Story
and that clown was fucking creepy and so intense.
And I have no doubt, that makes total sense
that Casey was also the inspiration there.
Really, I guess the inspiration behind several
of the scariest clowns in TV and film history
of the scariest clowns, you know, makes sense
after researching them, totally scary dude.
This update from Jake Rawls, a time sucker, and I love this, and a big fan of nun bush
shoes.
Do you remember nun bush shoes?
That was the shoe company I made so much fun of last week in the John Wayne case,
yeah, I was out.
It was a shoe company he worked for, and I ruthlessly mocked it, and I said that, you know,
the dude who wears a nun bush shoe is a dude who has no interest in ever making a vagina
wet again
Jake has a greatest sense of humor and he writes, Dan, I can't believe I'm contacting you about something is stupid But nun bus shoes are actually pretty alright. I have a pair with some built-in gel inserts
Which are great for a job where I have to dress business casual
But need to do a lot of walking through an industrial facility. I guess since you attacked me
I have to attack you back
But I'm having a hard time building up righteous indignation over shoes. So need to do a lot of walking through an industrial facility. I guess since you attacked me, I have to attack you back.
But I'm having a hard time building up righteous
indignation over shoes.
So, fuck you, I guess.
Hail them, Rod Jake.
I love you, Jake.
Oh, that is funny, man.
You know, sorry, buddy.
Sounds like you have some seriously dope ass kicks,
my friend.
I mean, those built-in gel inserts, those sounds super sexy.
I'm pretty sure a few lady suckers fainted
when they heard about your hot business casual look
in an industrial facility.
Because everyone knows that's where you meet all the sexy
mamas, man, strutting the fuck around
in an industrial facility in some non-bushed gel insert shoes.
But seriously, ITs again, thank you for the message,
that really cracked me up one night when I read that.
And I'm gonna end on some positivity from Time Sucker, the Joey Bimunk.
He says, hello, master Suckerfuck.
I just wanted to throw a quick thank you, your way.
Thank you for this podcast and your comedy in general.
My older brother, Mike and I,
have had a roller coaster of a relationship.
When I was a kid, he was struggling
with Diagnosed Depression and ADHD.
He also had a temper.
And as I think I also share,
but he had a lot of things wrong
and no one seemed to know how to help him.
So after he got rid of his awful girlfriend
who for a while turned him into a different person,
but somehow I idolized him the entire time.
I dress like him, a lot of the mistakes I've made
were made impersonating him,
but after he met his now wife, he was my brother again.
I saw him smile and get help.
He and I always bonded over sci-fi and comedy.
Now with me in my early 20s and he is early 30s,
we found a new bond over the suck.
Fuck yes, Hail Nimrot.
I too struggle with the things he did as a kid,
but I had help, so I want to thank you for being his.
Creators like you keep my brother, my brother.
And without that, I wouldn't have my fiance,
my own place or the self-confidence I have now.
So thank you so much.
I apologize for the length of this,
don't apologize, I have to fuck with.
But I've thought about writing it
since I began listening.
Thank you and hail number,
well you know what, thank you Joey.
Thank you man, hail number not to you.
The love is reciprocated man.
I really feel it from you guys.
I give you something to talk about with your family,
friends, you bro in this case.
And then when you send these messages,
you send that mojo back my way
and then I try to put it into the next show and even
I'm a little sleep deprived it boosts me up and and you know just thinking that this stuff actually matters so thank you
Thank you. Thank you. Have a great weekend, dude. Talk to your bro about that some some free mason's and hail Nimrod
Well, that is all today suckers. That is all
That Drs. All I felt like I got him to a Freemason voice there enjoy your weekend
The first weekend in 2018 think about joining a secret society. Please let it be the space lizards
Please let it be the space lizards and keep on sucking.