Tin Foil Hat With Sam Tripoli - Safe Space Ep 29: Hitler Stache
Episode Date: January 10, 2017I'm back at the All Things Comedy Studio yelling at Aaron! On this episode I discuss.. 1) The New Year 2) Cam4.com presents The Naughty Show live at The Comedy Store 3) The Tin Foil Hate Podcast 4) I ...power rank my favorite Awards Shows 5) Hitler Stache
Transcript
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I get a feeling there first safe space of 2017.
I'm Sam Tripoli. Thank you guys very much for tuning in. I still love doing the RAND show.
I even though it's completely counterproductive to actually
how you grow a podcast is by having guests on and people want to hear the guests, but
I'm stubborn and think I can do a podcast all by myself.
So I'm going to keep doing it until I'm down to like 10 guys or L kicks me out of
the studio, which could happen any day.
So let's enjoy why we can, shall we?
Guys, happy New Year. I know we're eight days into this Mofo.
Nine days in. We're nine days in. So I hope these nine days have gone amazing.
I know one person who's gone shitty for is this guy who threw out a chicken suit near my house.
Just walking and I look in the garbage.
I live, I live by the Hollywood Bowl.
So if you're in LA and you want to stalk me, you know where to find me,
that's where I do all my rants.
Guys, if you like my rants, I do a YouTube channel,
YouTube.
YouTube.
to come back to the bowl and I saw this full on chicken suit in the garbage. I'm like somebody's 2007 has not gone well. Yeah
it's not a good start. I took the chicken suit. I'm having to dry cleaned right
now. I mean how many that's a sign of something. Are you sure it'll fit? I don't know?
But honestly if it doesn't fit me I promise you I will bring into a homeless shelter. Yeah teep the the te te te the te te tie tie tie tie tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip. I I I I I'm tip. I'm t. I'm t. I'm t. I'm t. I'm t. I'm tm to tb. I'm tmant tmant th. I'm th. I'm like. I'm like. I'm like. I'm like. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm to to to to to to to to to to to to to t. I t. I t. I t. I t. I t. I t. I t. I te. I te. I'm te. I'm te. I'm te. I'm like, teeeeeeeeeeean. I'm like. I'm like. teea. I'm like. I'm like. I'm like. I'm like. honestly, if it doesn't fit me, I promise you, I will bring into a homeless
shelter.
Yeah, Teab could use it too.
Yeah, maybe that's what we'll go with this bag of leaves.
You know, you lay on the, you sleep on the wings.
I get, dude, that's, it has like in. Gotta get the dates out of the gates real quick. This January 11th at 730, the at,
excuse me, at 1130, cam for.com presents the naughty show live in the main room to
comedy store during X-Biz weekend. So you know there's gonna be a ton of adult film stars there, which I still enjoy doing it. I enjoy doing those show. So, so so so so so, so, so, so, so, so I, so I, so I the show, so I the show, so I the show, so I the show, so I the show, the show, the show, the show, the show, the show, the show, the show, the show, the the the the the the the the the the th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, the, the, the the the the the the the the the the, the, the, the the, the, the the the the the, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. So you know there's going to be a ton of adult film stars there, which I still enjoy doing it. I enjoy doing those shows, so
I'm going to keep doing it. We'll get into that a little later. So I enjoy doing the shows.
So come down to the lineup of the stack. Joe Rogan, Brian Kahl and Brandon Chob. Tiffany Fucking Hattish who killed last night at their. At. At. At.. Theo Vaughan, Jason Tibo, Jason
Rouse and Jocelyn Sharp. It's gonna be a long fun show. Come on down. Hopefully
we'll pack out. It's during X-Biz weekend which is next door at the big
hotel to the comedy store and then January 14th this Saturday 8 p.m. the
Dirty Punch Drunk Sports Show. It is with the Punch Drunk Sports.m. the dirty punch drunk sports show.
It is with the punch junk sports and the guys from dirty sports at the improv.
If you get that at the improv's website.
So grab those and I'm proud to announce that I am going to be doing a,
I'm working for fleshlight. I'm still doing fleshlight stuff.
I don't know what this is about my career other than I'm loving it. I get paid to go to be to be doing to be doing to be to be doing to be doing to be to be the Vegas to be the Vegas to be the Vegas to be doing the Vegas to be doing the Vegas the Vegas the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I. I. I. I. I'm th. I'm th. I'm thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. the. the. the. I'm the. I'm the the the th. I'm doing fleshlight stuff. I don't know what this is about my career, other than I'm loving it.
I get paid to go to Vegas during fucking AVM weekends,
hang out, fucking watch people get weird at the AVNs.
It is so much fun to just watch the parade of freaks go by.
I am such a people watcher that I, that's why I love going to Davians half of it is
like watching swingers couples walk around trying to find porn stars that will
swing with them there's one guy named voodoo and for five grand he'll bang your
wife for an hour you got to pay him yes because he's got this monster black
dick I think cock-holding,
cuckling, is it cuckling or cock-holding?
Cuck-holding.
Cuck-holding, yeah.
Cuck-holding.
I think cuck-holding is going to be a giant fad
that's only going to get bigger.
As porn gets more, I mean mean porn has just made everybody crazy. Yeah it's my theory why everybody's bisexual. I'm not. Okay you watch
porn? Honestly. Well, not really. When was last time you did? Did you have a porn
phase where you watched some porn? Oh yeah. Now when you watch porn did you
watch a lot of little dick porn? I watched a lot of solo girl stuff. Oh that's all you did? Okay
I'll give you that. I think most guys like to see big hammers getting dropped on
illiterate girls. And I think that just eventually you're looking for big
dicks in your porn house. You know it is what it is. I had a joke about how my
girl from found my porn hub favorites list.
And I basically did what any guy would do.
I blamed it on Russian hackers.
Yeah.
That's how you do it.
Yeah, that's how you do it.
So yeah, so those are the gigs, man.
So the big gig is Comedy Chaos.
January 20th at the Stratosphere, the LA Comedy Club.
It's a great lineup. We got PIN House pet Brett Rossi
She's gonna be there doing Sam for the first time and then Jason Ellis from the Jason Ellis show
On faction, which is a huge like the third biggest show on serious. He's going to be doing some stand-up too. So come out and rock
Go go to Vegas. Watch the people get paid the F on camera. Yeah, and then come here's some. Here. Here. Here. Here. Here. Here. Here. Here. Here. Here. Here. Here. Here. Here. Here. Here. Here. Here. Here. Here. Here. Here. there. there's there's some. there's some. there's some. there's some. there's some. there's some. there's some. there's some. there's some. there's some. there's some there's some there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their watch the people get paid the F on camera. Yeah.
And then come here's some quality, well-crafted dick jokes.
I'm taking a week off from stand-up, even though I got two gigs,
but I'm not booking anything else.
I just, I'm not, I don't know what I want to do on state.
I got my album coming out, I'm working on the final pieces.
It's going to be out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out. I'm working on the final pieces. It's going to be out March. You should have been,
I wanted it out by the end of the month, but this guy wants to do it right. Yeah. So I'm going to do it on
the end of March. It's sometime March. And then, uh, so we're just dealing with that. And then I'm in the new movie. Do you see laughing. Yes. I'm in the trail I afforded. I afforded. I afforded. I've fortunate. I've to watch you. I've to watch you're the the tired. I'll tired. I'll tired. I'll tired. I'll tired. tired. tired. tired. tired. tired. the the tired. the their. their. tired. their. their. their. their. It's. It's. It's. It's their. It's their. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's going. It's going. It's going. It's going. It's going. It's going. It's going. It's going. It's going. It's going. It's going. It's just just just just. I. It's just. I'm just. I'm just. It's just. I'm Yes. I'm in the trail, I afford you to watch that.
And then you said you're tired of stand-up docks.
Remember when you told me that?
And you just pissed all over my fucking dreams?
I was tired of my decision.
You said, oh, there's just so many of them.
God damn. one?" I was like, oh. And then I shoot on famous actors who don't get up on the stage anymore. And you're so vain! You give love a bad name! That's what you did to me as
I try to show you the trailer that I'm in. I've done two movies in my life, I've done two movies in my life,
I've done two movies in my life, I'm in both trailers. I made go. That's just, I just got to get more movies. I just hate, I just can't audition.
I just have no desire to go in front of some chick who just looking for stereotypes.
It's awful.
It's like, oh, okay, you don't look like sassy black chick or like cobrachai blonde guy.
That's a, that I'm like I'm not
Armenian enough to be Armo no I'm not Italian enough to be Italian I'm not I'm just
like in the middle guy yeah I can already hear the jokes right now you're just
cuckholding guy no I'm not that's Brian red band looks like every dude in every
porno where they they cook holding and he'd be like,
oh honey, oh, right? I just think there's guys out there so yeah that's it. A lot of people are asking
about tinfoil hat, a very popular two episodes, we're gonna do it. I'm gonna figure out, I'd like to do it here but I know nighttimes are weird here and the people I'm gonna get in are nighttime people. So yeah I'll do it the their their their their their their their their. I'll do it their. I'll do it. I'll do it. I'll their. I'll do it. I'll do it. I'll do it. I'll do it. I'll their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. Oh, honey. Oh, honey. their. their. Oh, honey. Oh, honey. Oh, honey. Oh, h'. Oh, h'-ho. their, h'-a. their, h'-a. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, tod, today, today, today, today, honey, honey, honey, honey, honey, honey, honey, honey, honey, honey, honey, honey, honey, honey. to. to. t do it here but I know nighttimes are weird here and the people I'm gonna get in are nighttime people so yeah I'll do it here I'll do
at the comedy store studio I love doing it man I love doing tinfoil hat
I've been listening so everyone's always recommending like different like
conspiracy theory stuff to me and I really enjoy it but I just realize that it's all so
they're so serious like everybody's so serious everybody sounds like they've had
18 cups of coffee and they have too many cats that's like what it sounds like everybody on
conspiracy theory podcast so I want to go to the opposite way and just have a little fun
everybody loved Eddie Bravo everybody loved Rachel she was great so i have a little fun. Everybody loved Eddie Bravo. Everybody loved Rachel.
She was great. So I have a couple other people. Now everybody's hit me up to do
this and I don't know them as performers and they're like yeah I know this
isn't this but I'm like can you carry a conversation? How much do you know?
They're like oh I know totally all of it. And then I'm also worried are they CIA?
Are they fucking CIA? Podcast
agent provocateur? Yes, that they're deep in it. They're fucking deep in it. Wow.
I hadn't even thought of that. Like I do a lot of like anti-CIA tweets and shit. Yeah. I do a lot of anti-I do a lot of. Like I do a lot of like anti-cia tweets and shit. I do a lot of that. I'm sure they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're just they're just they're just they're just they're just they're just they're just just just just just just they're just just just they're just just just they're just just they're just they're just they're just they're just they're just they're just a they're just a they're just a lot they're just a lot they're they're they're a lot of they're a lot of they're a lot of they're a they're a they're a they're a they're a they're a they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're just a they're just they're just like like like like like like like like like like like like they're just they're just they're just they're just they're just they're just like like like a their their their their their their their their their their their their their their they're lot anti, do a lot anti like establishment. I do a lot of that.
I'm sure they're just somebody's on. I mean dude, if they know my, if they know, if they watch
me watch porn, they're watching weird porn, dude. I almost do just to freak them out. Yeah, suck on that. Yeah, suck. Luck it. Lutterly suck on that. Have you ever heard that you that you that you that. that. that. that. thia. thia. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. S, th. S Suck, they thi. Suck, th. S Suck, they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they's. Ss. Ss. Ss. Ss. Ss. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. th. th. th. th. th. th. t, t, t, t, t, t, toge. S, toge. S, toge. S, toge. S, toge. S, toge. S, toge. S, the. S like tape on your computer camera? I hadn't done it I was like fuck it you can watch me jerk
off you like but then I saw that episode of Black Mirror and now I'm like now I've
got tape on the home computer yeah. Which episode was that? It's the most
recent season I think it's like the second or third episode. So now you're putting tape on? Just on the the one computer that's in the living room, yeah. But you
know your new computer, your new televisions have cameras too. And that- I don't
have a new TV. Oh so you got, you still have the rabbit ears? No, but it's not, it's not new enough to have a camera in it. Okay, I respect I respect, I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, it, I, it, it, it, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, it, th, th, it's not, it's not, it's not, th. th. th, th, th, th. th. th. th. But, th, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the the the th. But, th. But, th. But, th. But, th. But, th. But, th. But, th. th. th. th. th. that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th. that, that, th. You that, you th. But, you th. But, you that. That's why I gave my dad the new ca... Oh yeah, I didn't tell you that. I don't even think this one has a camera in it.
That has a camera in it.
You think there's gonna be a little camera thing?
Maybe the whole screen's the camera.
And they've been watching you plow your wife on the table here when nobody's around.
This table's not start start is not start is not starting is not starting is not starting is not starting is not starting is not starting is not starting is not starting is not starting the thirty thirty thirty thirty thiia thia two of us. No, you're right. You're totally right. How long do you guys want to have kids?
We're going to start trying after our honeymoon in September. Okay, that's at the honeymoon, no, you're not
going to wait until the honeymoon's over, right? You're going to try to plow it right there. Yes. Yes. Yes.
It's a weird podcast, the book. It's a weird podcast. It's a th. Yeah. Yeah'm really excited about it. It's gotten a lot of good feedback, so I'm going to keep doing it.
A lot of people are like, dude, you're going to burn out.
I kind of see that, first of all, I would never do a podcast or another podcast unless I enjoy doing it.
I just enjoy talking about.
Like I asked Vicky and Garrett that they that they that they they they they they they that they they they they they they they enjoy talking about. Like I asked Vicki and Garrett that
they might want to do another naughty show like once at a blue moon. I think
they're gonna get, yeah I think they were down with it. And you know I love
conspiracies. I don't, I'm not gonna take them serious. I'm not gonna be like,
we're gonna change the world. I'm not gonna change the world. I'm not gonna change the world. I'm not going to do that. Dinosaurs aren't real. Yeah, I was shocked. I was shocked.
And now everybody's going to come on, now everybody's going to come on the podcast and talk
about stuff I'm going to agree with. Like, this guy is trying to convince me that there's
a conspiracy that Michelle Obama is a man. No. Can you believe that? Yeah, that's nuts.
And they're doing it based based based based based based based based based based based based based based based based based based based based based based based based based based based based based based based based based based based based based based based based based based based based based based based based based based based based based based nuts. And they're doing it based on the fact that there's no pictures of her pregnant anywhere
with two kids.
Sure they're at home.
And her hands aren't right.
I'm, there's more to it, but that's it.
I'm like, dude, you're crazy.
No.
Yeah.
Those kids look like them. Yeah. They would never get that past people.
They would never!
You don't do this, no!
Is there?
No.
There's no chance.
I'm with you.
I'm with you on that one.
Hey, dude, I can't just have on the conspiracy.
I agree. I want to hear everything.
I want to hear everything. Yeah, yeah, why not? I want to hear them all. And it's like, don't take this serious.
Don't listen to fucking try to change your life.
I'm just like, what are people saying out there?
Let's hear the evidence.
And is it possible?
Anything is possible?
Michelle Obama being a man.
tolder, that look like women. My friend on Facebook, her name is Taylor Wade.
That is a dude. That is a dude.
And if I didn't know she was a dude and I just saw her, I would stab you just to bang her.
That's how hot she is. Wow.
I would never stab you, but you know what I'm saying. I would hope not.
I wouldn't be like, if you saw her like like dude, be cool. I'm not stopping you. Just go with it. I got heckled by a tranny the other day.
I was at the Ha Ha Ha'a Cafe and I'm just like, I'm doing stamp and there's this girl, I'm like,
I'm like, is that, I'm like, something's interesting with this chick. Because you can usually tell when they're like, they were or they are a guy.
They still have that like, they look like, they're on steroids, they get the crow
magnet skullhead going, you know?
And I don't, listen, dude, my theory is, dress how ever you want to.
I don't care. I don't really care. Dude, I don't even know why we only dress up on Halloween.
Like, why not every day?
I would like to see Aaron come to work as a like SpongeBob Squarepants.
I don't know if that's the one I'd go with, but sure.
And maybe a Power Puff girl. Maybe you look like, maybe you like the Power Puff Girls.
Why get Aaron come to work as a power puff girl. I don't know because society won't let him and I think it's bullshit
I you know time you wear a sports jersey you are playing dress up
And I'm totally cool with it. But is it weird if you dress up during a game like I have a big problem when people don't like grown men wearing jerseys Because they're like come on dude with somebody guys yeah, it's called men run in herds. We support our tm. It's how we'll their their their. It's their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I te. I te. I te. I te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. men running herds. We support our team. That's our favorite player.
Stop giving us shit.
It's how we survive as a species.
100%.
We root for the greatest.
Yeah, we know who them alpha male is.
Like if we're all hanging out and there's a bunch of hot chicks.
And Krista Leah walks in.
We know Chris gets to pick first. And it'll the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. thoes. thoes. th. thoes. th. th. thoes. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. th. It's. th. th. th. th. th. It's. It's to. It's to. to. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their to their the two or three and double them up.
Stack them. Yeah, I mean 100% girls would rather double up on the hot one than sell for a less hot one.
Yeah. I mean he gets girls, he gets nine's and tens this guy. He's got a girlfriend back when he did.
It's unbelievable. Every time he walks into the room I'm doing stand-up, I introduce him as my really famous big dick friend.
Like because he's got, where it is he's got a monster dick.
And I always talk about how he broken his phone, stole all of his dick picks.
And then I photoshopped them into exotic places, like space,
the OK Corral, Cracker Barrel.
And then I send them out as holiday cards.
Right? That's cool.
Yeah.
Have you ever sent out a dick pick in your like?
No.
Not once in your life?
Nah.
They don't want it.
I've done it before, but I've got to work angles.
I got a really work an angle.
I got a shooting, like, shooting my dick is like where you have to shoot Tom Cruise is a tall tough guy like they have to work angles. That's what it is like I got six
inches I'm pretty honest with the size of my dick. I've had a couple girls
with big pussies over exaggerate the size of my dick. They're like oh it's not
that big yeah because you have a car trunk for a pussy okay you got hatch
back so don't judge me. It's not that big. Yeah, because you have a car trunk for a pussy. Okay? You got hatchback snatch
So don't judge me
So but I got I got you know I I the key is I just got to find a girl that fits those pieces. Yeah, it's all that matters. It's all pieces. Oh Fuck man. Oh, fuck man. Um, so that what was I getting in oh Timfoil hat? Oh, tiphah. Oh, fuck. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. thi. the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. tod. toda. toda. today. today. today. today. today. today. th. th. th. out Tim Foil hat? Oh fuck I totally jumped
something I'll get okay I'll get into that Tim Foil hat. There's a lot of weird
shit going on since the last podcast since even the last Tim Foil hat. One was
the BL the Black Lives Matter kidnapping. Do you hear about that? No.
Okay so supposedly I get all my news from you by really? Really? No. Dude, sometimes let me tell you some. th, I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. I'll get th. I'll get th. I'll get thi I'll get th. I'll get th. I'll get th. I'll get th. I'll get I'll get I'll get I'll get th. I'll get I'll get I'll get th. I'll get th. I'll get th. I'll get th. I'll get th. I'll get th. I I I I I I'll get th. I I I I I I I I I'll get th. I'll get th. I'll get th th th th th th th th. I'll get th. I'll get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get a to get a to get a to get a to get a to get a to get a to get a to get a to get to get thi thi the really? No, but do you sometimes let me tell you some you begin unfiltered news you begin real news
I don't do fake news home boy I have a friend of mine my friend crashed who he just
He just come on. he just come on. He does um he basically fact checks anything I put out.
So I instantly have to fucking withdraw what I think.
What was I talking about?
Oh, so this Black Lives Matters things, right?
Kidnapping.
Okay, so supposedly in Chicago, This group of Black Lives Matter people
Kidnapped
This like autistic guy and they were like you vote for Trump fuck you. We hate you fuck you. I was worried is this where the dude got beat up on Facebook?
Yeah, and they have the got beat up on Facebook and Facebook Live?
And they have the thing.
Here's the thing that makes no sense of me.
That video exploded and it was on Facebook for four days.
You're talking about a website where if you bully somebody enough, you can get, you're,
you could be thrown in Facebook jail.
Yet this video sits forever.
Yeah.
And it's like, Black Lives Matter!
Because it's not like it wasn't getting flagged or reported.
Yeah.
Why is it on that long?
Yeah.
I'm all about misinformation and disinformation.
It was just wrapped too, too much in a bow.
It did make sense. And the guy's just sitting there going, like, nothing nothing, thiiiii, thi, thi, thi, thi, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. It did make sense. And the guy's just sitting there going,
like nothing's happened and they're just,
yeah dog, you're a black-lop man.
There's something fishy about it.
It was on Facebook way too long
for me to believe that was really something went down.
So that was weird.
So the other thing that was weird
was this shooting in Fort Lauderdale.
Do you hear about that?
Do you hear about the whole story about him? No.
That he basically...
Fort Lauderdale shooter.
So this guy, let's find his name.
The Fort La- he's from Anchorage, okay.
He flies. He flies. So supposedly you, if you declare
a gun, you can fly with it. You declare a gun, you show it to them, show him you have a permit,
you have to have no ammunition in it, you can't check it right. You can't check it.
I don't... No, I think you I mean what it
yeah you checked it yeah okay but but this is a guy who went and talked to the
FBI that he was hearing voices that told him to join ISIS like what does it take to get flagged
seriously I mean the guys hearing voices he and there's something also about just and I respect our military I'm totally against the guy's hearing voices, and there's something also about just, and I respect our
military, I'm totally against the funding of these giant military contracts where we, that's
where all our military spending goes. It doesn't go to actually boots on the ground.
It goes to these contracts in which like we spent trillion dollars on a plane that never
got off the ground. That's what I'm talking about. Like why, I'm not against, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not against, I'm not against, I'm not against, I'm not against, I'm not against, I'm not against, I'm not against, I'm not against, I'm not against, I'm not against, I'm not against, I'm not against, I'm not against, I'm not against, I'm the military, I'm the military, I'm the military, I'm the military, I'm the military, I'm the military, I'm the military, I'm the military, I'm the military, I'm the military, I'm the military, I'm the military, I'm the military, I'm the military, I'm the military, I'm the military, I'm the military, I'm the military, I'm the military, I'm the military, I'm the military, I'm not against, I'm not against, I'm not against, I'm not against, I'm not against, I'm not against, I'm not against, I'm not against, I'm not against, I'm not against, I'm not against, I'm thi-a, I'm thi-a' thi-a' thi-a' thi-a' thi-a' thi-a' plane that never got off the ground. Yep.
That's what I'm talking about.
Like why?
I'm not against the military and I'm not against, even though I feel like our military is
slowly not becoming defense but offense.
Yeah.
You know?
Yeah.
I mean, like they were talking about Obama.
I got this.
Someone sent me this meme real quick.
That Obama, that Obama, that Obama, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, thua,. That Obama got an, Obama got, uh, where is it?
He got a Nobel Peace Prize.
Oh, since he got the Nobel Peace Prize, he's bomb.
Libya, Pakistan, Afghanistan, Syria, Iraq, Somalia and Yemen.
Personally. Yeah.
Like, you see he ran over there with the fucking bomb? Iraq, Somalia, and Yemen. Personally? Yeah.
Like you think he ran over there with a fucking bomb?
We dropped it?
But Mike, he signed off on it?
I mean, the Nobel Peace Prize thing was kind of ridiculous.
Seven wars were in.
We're in seven wars.
How many of those wars were actually approved by Congress?
Probably none.
Iraq, Afghanistan.
That's it.
Well, those aren't even, those should even go on his scorecard.
Yeah, but he didn't end them.
Well, that's tough to end.
What you got no peace?
So you're saying that, okay, let's not put that on his card.
So, it's still a lot.
Libya?
Pakistan, Syria, Somalia and Yemen, all on his watch.
The peace president?
He did not ask for that peace prize.
Like that's all I can say his president.
Okay, I respect that also.
It's like a comic who doesn't have enough time, who's only been doing comedy for two weeks
and gets an hour special.
What are they supposed to say no?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He got it before he was even in office. Oh, they they's they's they's they's, they's, they's, they's, they's, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. th. thi. thi. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. thi. th. th. th. th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah are they supposed to say no? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He got it before he was even in office. He was... Oh, they're just like, you're black! Here's an award?
Yeah, I think, yeah. Well, dude, listen to me. My opinion is if you put Santa Claus in the
presidency, he'd be a war criminal within two weeks. Yeah. 100%. He's just a fucking war criminal. There's no way around it. It's so fucking weird. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Do you hear they pass a new law too? A new law, it's called, it's called the, people hate when I get political, but it's like, what do you want me to talk about?
You know? It's called the, here it is, it's the, uh, misinformation, where is it? Now a lot of people thought that this, this, uh, okay, in national defense, a lot of people thought I was talking about... that. that. that. that that that that that that that the their their their their their their their their their their their, their, their, their, the, the, the, the, the, it's the, it's the, the, the, it's the, it's the, it's the, it's the, it's the, it's the, people, it's the, people, people, people, people, people, people, people, people, it's the, people, people, people, people, it's the, people, people, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, their, their, their, their, their, people their, people their, people their, people their, people their, people their, people their, people their, people their, people their, people, people, people their, people, people the that this, this, okay, in national defense, a lot of people
thought I was talking about that there was this false rumor that he, okay here it is, passage
of the Counter Disinformation and Propaganda Act, which was established in a little
loan or discussed Global Engagement Center, okay, which a lot of people thought I was talking about how there was this rumor going around that he had passed that the government could
shut down websites that they thought were... and that's not what this is. Yeah.
This is actually that they can put out fake information. This is actually that
they can put out fake information. This just makes it official. I think I that this one was putting they were trying they they they they they they they they they they they thr-trying thrown thr-try thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thr- thrown thrown thrown thrown thr-try they were they were thin. thi. they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. thin. they were they were they can put out misinformation and I'm sure I'm going to get bombarded with people telling me of course
always been a government coordination used to spread lies about American
foreign policy. So basically they could put out misinformation which is
basically what yeah that's wrong. The red scare is. Yeah, like I was
talking about this the other day. It's like this notion that the
Russians influenced this thing, I'm not saying the Russians never hacked our, hacked the
DNC. I think they probably did. I think China probably did. I think every country is
trying to hack the other country.
But the notion that influenced the election is ridiculous. It was pretty one-sided. Right?
Okay, but let me ask you something. I mean not that they weren't up to shitty shit.
Let me ask you something, dude. What would they tell you that you didn't actually already think about the Republicans?
They're sold out the big money? they fucking don't give a shit?
Of course. Of course. Don't give a shit about your personal rights?
But they would take away all your rights? Like what are they going to tell you?
Like what theyms got that? What would I tell you about Trump that you don't already think. There's probably some big things in there, too.
The reason it hits the DNC is because the DNC...
His tax records can barely get out.
But dude, what about his tax record?
It wasn't going to change anything.
It might. He's protected them enough that it might.
So let me just say this. Let's say they didn't do that. She loses, she loses Michigan, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Florida.
Yeah, it's terrible.
Which is all the states that Obama got.
Yep.
Those are directly related to free trade.
When she gets busted going, I, that the TPP is a gold standard of free trade, do you think
anybody in those, those are all manufacturing areas?
I don't know about Florida as much, but yeah, definitely the other ones.
Definitely the other ones.
For sure, without a doubt, she didn't even campaign in Wisconsin.
So it's like sitting there and say, I get all those mistakes were made and the DNC was up to shady shit. Yeah. Totally and I and I and I and I and I and I and I and I and I. And I. And I. And I. And I. And I. And I. And I th. And I th. And I th. And I th. And I th. And I th. And I th. And I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th mistakes are made and the DNC was up to shady shit. Yeah.
And I can't forgive her for just, if you can't win your primary, honestly, what choice
do you have going on to the bigger thing?
Yeah, 100% I agree.
It's unforgivable.
When we're talking hacking, it just does seem strangely one-sided. I, because I just personally will tell you that there is nothing that you would tel tell me tel tel tel tel tel tel tel tel tel tel tel tel tel tel tel tel tel tel tel tel theu, thee, thee, thea, thea, thea, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. I, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, they, they, th... I, th.. I, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thi. I, tthee. thea. thea. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi. I because I just personally will tell you that there is nothing that
you would tell me about Trump that I didn't already think. He's a scumbag, he's a
dush bag, he's this, he's that, he's this. That's, it's like, hey here's this thing
about them. Dude, Wikileaks says if they could get the records, they would have released it. Here's the thing about whistleblowers, man. They don't do it for money.
And if Wiccalaise is working for the Russians, and I'm not convinced me that this is happening,
if he is, why is he still in London? Because he's in the Ecuadorian embassy.
Yeah, he's in the Ecuadorian in London and in Europe where Russia gives them 30% of their energy.
Dude, they got Edward Snowden out of America. You don't think they could get fucking, Julian Sage out of fucking London?
Dude, they're 800 pound gorillas. They give them all their energy.
He's sitting in a fucking closet getting visited by Pamela Anderson and her 2002 pussy.
How's the last time that pussy was good?
That is spoiled meat he's hidden.
Okay? Why would he do that?
Whistleblowers aren't like that.
Whistleblowers do it because they see atrocities and tyranny and they come
out and they and they want to I'm not saying he's a perfect human being
no I'm not I'm and I'm not arguing that what they've said is accurate I'm
just saying that whole thing is totally what it's so funny that nobody believes
wickleaks but everyone believes snopes two fucking people with cats they
believe it just makes no sense.
And especially when Snope's whole thing is always pro-democratic.
Well, because all these other things come out of the other side.
Oh, interesting.
Generally. Interesting.
So that's like counterproductive to what you just said about the Russian hacks.
I give two shits about most of the Sam. You're the one who's into it.
I'm just trying to answer my brother goes,
why is your political thing?
I go, I hate tyranny.
I want people to love each other.
I want the world to be great.
I don't like, we're the
empire. We are the fucking empire. With all the storm troopers on boots on all
over the place. That's us, dude. Yep. The fucking Death Star, fucking
hitting that city. That was us dropping bombs on Japan. We're the only
ones to drop bombs on anybody. Yep. I don't think that was right at all. I don't fuck, dude,
there is no reason, nobody hates us. But they're starting to, I mean without a doubt, if you lived
in Yemen and we're bombing you, why wouldn't you hate us? Or any Central American. Or any of those seven fucking places I put. That that th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their th. their th. th. their th. their th. their th. th. their th. their, th. th. their, th. their, their, their their thathea, their, their, their, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, their, their, their, their, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I their their their th. Yeah, I's, I's, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. I's, th. their, their, their, their, their, they. F. F. I'm, they. I'm, the the the the the they. I'm, the the they. I'm, they. I'm, the th. Or any of those seven fucking places I put. That too, but we don't have to have boots on the ground for people to hate us for what we've done.
I'm so sad, dude. It makes me so sad.
So yeah, Obama, who is black Jesus, everybody loves him. I like Obama. I like Obama. I loved Obama,
but I think this last couple years, this last two years, he's been like, fuck it. And it's just been crazy, drone strike, drone strike,
you know, is Trump gonna go in there?
Am I gonna say Trump is great?
No, not I fucking hate the guy.
But he won.
It's like baseball, dude.
Hillary had more hits,
Trump got more runs.
Yeah.
It's just the way it is.
And I can't have her circumvent the primaries and I'll try to circumvent this shit. Absolutely not. I'd much rather have Trump and fight him
tooth and nail once he's in than give that fucking bitch who's just, I mean I'm
sorry dude. Dude they put out something about the Golden Globes. I'll get into
that later. Golden Globes are. It's just, when you see it happening in real time,
you're like, this is nuts.
So all right, everybody.
I'm sure I've, what little listeners I have on this podcast
are probably gone after that little rant.
What are we up to here?
Okay, we have 15 minutes left.
I just want to say happy new years everybody. I know after that little rant, that's thi thi thi thi th. th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, I, I, I, I'm, I th, I'm, I th, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, tho, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, the, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo's everybody. I know after that little rant that's kind of weird. We discuss on, oh yeah, I guess I discussed a lot on punch-trunk.
Did I talk about how I went to a wedding in the woods? Yeah. Okay, I don't skip that.
We'll jump right to what's next. It's award season. It's award season. Do you enjoy award season? to enjoy award season? thi. to th season. to th season. to to to to th season. to th season. to th season. to to th season. to never see enough of it to have a dog in any of the fights.
Well, I just feel right now, like what is going on with award season?
And I'm a power rank my favorite awards, by far.
And without a doubt, you're seeing the movie industry move farther and farther away from
actually giving a shit what happens in the middle of the country, in the south, and the north.
And it's just about LA, San Francisco, New York.
Like all these, they're making, these movies, nobody's watching them.
And they're just getting all the awards.
And they wonder why nobody's watching these fucking award shows.
So I'm a power rank, power rank.
You tell me if you agree with my, my assessment?
It was fun to see Deadpool in the Golden Globes last night.
That was the only cool thing.
I would love for that to just come out of nowhere.
Look at how successful Deadpool was.
It was edgy, it was real, it wasn't politically correct, and
it exploded. People want realism. People want realism. Okay, so. Well, that was not realism,
but yeah. Good point. Some of these movies are realism. That's why you're here to call me out.
They're too real. That was stupid. I said stupid. They want to escape and for it to be fun. But it's just like... Not a publicist. What I mean, but I th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. It th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thooooooooooooooooooooooooo. tho. tho. thi, th. out and that was too real. That was stupid. I said stupid. They want to escape and for it to be fun and not apologize. What I mean by realism I mean like he talked like we talk. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, it was insensitive. Like dude, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I mean, I, I, I mean, I, I, I, I, I mean, I, I, I, I, I, I mean, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I god. I watched the crown I just want, when I watch the crown I just want to call all my black friends and thank them
For what they've done for the country that we no longer talk like that? Yeah, and we no longer walk around the like who farted face? Is it me or is the queen and the crown always have a look of like? I? I the queen or is the queen or the queen. the queen. the queen. the queen. the queen. the queen. I the queen. Is the queen. Is the queen. Is the queen. the queen. the queen. the queen is the queen is the queen is the queen is the queen is the queen is the queen is the queen is the queen is the queen is the queen is the queen is the queen the queen the queen the queen the queen the queen the queen I the queen the queen the queen. I I I the queen. I I the queen I I the queen the queen the queen the queen the queen or the queen or the queen or the queen or the queen or the queen or the queen or the queen or the queen? I I I I I I the queen. I the queen. I the queen. I the queen. I the queen. I the queen. I just. I just. I Yeah. I have no clue who that show's playing to.
I have no clue.
Like, oh, I watch the King's speech.
I'm like, thank God for the Wu Tang.
That shit was boring.
I even was watching someone put a montage
of the greatest 80s songs.
All white people.
I'm like, thank God the late 80s and the 90s were ths were ths were ths were ths were ths were that's were that'ss were coming. Because that just cleaned house, we got a hip-hop, we got rap, we got all that shit. That was when NWA was coming in, public enemy. Then you saw the beginning of
like, um, big, uh, notorious BIG, uh, Tupac, all that good shit. I love, I love, I love that my, my,
my heyday was what I consider to be the greatest music genre of ever. Now I know that play, it's. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. thi, th. thi, thi, thi, thi, that, that, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, w. that, that, that, that, consider to be the greatest music genre of ever.
Now I know that play, it's kind of like the cast of your favorite cast Serenight Live
tends to be when you were like in seventh or eighth grade. No. That's when you love the show the most.
And I get that that's my prime, but that music still gets played on regular radio now.
Nervana still gets played on top 50 or whatever. I hear it all the time, Teen Spirit.
It's still cool.
Classic rock now.
It's classic rock, but it's still on modern rock, too.
Yeah, because they got nothing.
They got, I mean, there's some good rock out there.
Yeah.
Rick Ingram the other day asked me what good bands have been out lately.
Run the Jules is phenomenal. I don't know about a lot of my buddy, Yagikian, this is the band,
fucking shred. He just signed a, I don't know if I should talk about, but he signed a
record deal. That's a band that's gonna rock. If you like bluesy, bluesy,
bluesy, metallica, bluesy, black Sabbath. Dude, I know you're married, would you to a concert with me? Yeah. If I give you enough time, sure. He always to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to to to their, their, their, their, their, their, their, I's, I's, I's, I'll their, I'll their, I'll their, I'll their, I'll, I'll their, I'll, I'm their, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I s. I s. I s. I s. I s. I s. I the, I the, I s. I their, I s. I their, I their, I their, I their, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll, I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll the the the the the the the the the the th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. th. th. thr. thr. I'll the the the the the the the the the the, he always invites me to it. You'll fucking love, dude, this guy can sing, Alexei Yegeikian, and he fucking crushes
it.
I'll do it.
But I'm a power, power rank, power rank, top award shows.
Here we go.
Let me just find, I tweeted it, and I'm going to'm gonna tell you about it and you're gonna thank me fucking for it. Yeah let's I if I can say one thing to
your listeners it's let's stop worshipping the British monarchy they fuck can we
stop that please they're not interesting I don't care what she would
I don't know there's nothing about that show that's like whoa that's that's kind of interesting down down down Ab th th th that th th I I I I I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is the the the's that's the that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th is th is th is th's th's th's th's th's thou the the the thou the the the the thoooo' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' thotally agree with you I totally fucking agree with you. Number five the punchies the punch shrunk awards. Those are great
We got to bring people want to bring them back. Yeah. I think we should do that. Yeah. Give best caller. It would just be GSP on everything. Yeah, yeah. Best caller hot. Hattest female listener. I don't even tell you. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. the the the the the the the the the the p, the p, the p, the p, the p, the p, the p, the p, the p, the p, the p, the p, the p, the p, th. I th. th. th. th. th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, thi. Yeah, thi. Yeah, thi. Yeah, thu. I togea. I togeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu--------s. P. I togeuu-------s. P. P. P. P. P.'t even couldn't even tell you. We have like seven and I'd love them. Number four, number four with a bullet. Number
four, let's see, what else some people put some stuff. Number four, the Grammys. I think the
Grammys are just so different than the VMA's and any of that. And they are the, it's the onlymys. I think the Grammys are just so different than the VMA's and any of that.
And they are the it's the only award show which really celebrates the past as much as the present.
They always have some of the greats come on and sing and it's a funnow. It's like it is the
as fucked up as music is the Grammys try so hard to just keep it real. They do. And like there's there's there's there's some their there's some their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their only their only the the the the the the the the the only only only only the only the only the only the only the only the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the music is, the Grammys try so hard to just keep it real.
They do.
And like, there's some great performances on there.
You're like, I can watch that.
This is real shit.
Like the fact that Justin Bieber's never won a Grammy, just let you know that they give a shit.
I love it.
I love music.
I love going to live music events. I saw Metallica. Did I talk about that?
No, I was jealous. I went and saw Metallica at the Fonda.
Yeah. Two thousand people. Nothing but heat seekers. Yeah. And there's like times where I'm like,
I wish young people could watch these guys because now Metallica's considered old people music.
I'm like, come watch how the greats do it.
Yeah.
It's like when I want to go on a show with a new band,
those people have no fucking charisma, no stage presence.
Their songs can be good, it's fine.
I don't love them, but...
Because a lot of times, the last thing that's important is how good they are at music.
Yeah. It's their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the Yeah. It's their look. It's their angle And that's why these young kids, they're not, listen, I don't hate millennials. I'm very jealous of them.
Not that they're young, but the opportunities that they have. You know, it's like the chicks, there's no stigma for being a slut now. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I th it. I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the th th th the the th the th th th th th the the the the their their the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their ta. I ta. I ta. I ta. I they. I the could put up if I was 20 today.
I would be Will Chamberlain in the WNBA, just 100, 100s, 100s.
That's all I would be doing.
Dunking my balls on everybody.
Okay?
This, the social media, all that stuff.
It's like, that wasn't around.
You know, did I sold a million records on his album yeah hand to hand yeah like that's unbelievable that's unbelievable
that's unbelievable so you know I mean like I love the Grammys Grammys are
number four number three the source awards dude if you have an award show
where you know someone will get shot and killed that is an award show to watch certainly right? thr-I mean thi thr-I mean is thi the th th th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi that thi that that thi that that's thi that's that's that's that's thi. that's that's that's thi. that's that's that's that's th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that's that's th. that's th. that's that's that's thi. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the the their. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. that's th. that's that's that's the that's the. the the. the the. the the the the the. the the the. th. get shot and killed, that is an award show to watch.
Certainly.
Right?
I mean, is anybody, I mean, like, dude, it is almost like the migration of the salmon.
They all know like, oh, we're probably going to die.
There's going to be some bears try and eat us, but this is what we gotta do.
We gotta keep it real. real, someone's gonna get shot at the fucking source awards. And I fucking love that their balls enough to go and be like,
I need my award, fuck, ah, shit, I'm shot.
Sometimes the only, the only word you get is to live after you got shot.
Yeah.
Number two, and I got some shit on this, the S-piece.
Now they gave some shitty award show, but I just love sports.
Yeah, but...
You're against it?
I don't think, yeah, I don't know.
I could put the Tonys in there, even though I don't watch them, but I think it...
I love live theater.
Yeah. The Tonys aren't bad, but I like the Speysps because I love, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, tho, tho, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, that, that, that, that, to, to, to, to, that, that, to that, that, that, that, tha, tha,. Okay, okay, okay, so a lot of people didn't like that. And they gave Caitlin Jenner an award the year she gets the one with a car.
Yeah, I'm with you. The year year, sure. The pun- okay. Okay, so we'll take that
o'clock. And finally the number one award show, what do you think it is? The Oscars? No, the avans, the A.V.S. the the the the the the the the the the th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the the th, th, the th, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the year, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the year, the year, the year, the year, the year, the year, the year, the year, the year, the year, the year, the year, the year, the year, the year, the year, the year, the year, the year, the year, the year, the th, the th, th, th, the th, th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. the th. the the the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the year, the year, the year. No. Some of the similar, similar categories. Maybe I'll take the ESPs out and put the Oscars there.
I just haven't enjoyed the Oscars lately.
I just, I just, I just, it's just so hard to.
I can't relate to anybody.
Yeah, I just can't enjoy it. It's like, you know, it's like, they spend way they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're. They're. They're. They're they. They're. They're they. They spend way. They spend. They spend. They're. They're. They they. They they. They they. They they. They they. They they. They they. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They they. They they. They're. They're. They're they they they they they they they they they they they spend way. They spend way. They spend way. They spend way they spend way spend way spend way spend way spend way spend way spend way they spend they spend way spend way spend way they spend way they spend way they spend way they spend way they spend way they spend way they spend into this whole thing with fucking what's her face
Mael Street yeah I'll get into that but it's like you know it's like dr. Strange is not going to get one
Fucking nomination and that effects what visual effects dude the story was great there was nothing that movie was phenomenal.
You know it's like when the matrix came out nothing, that movie was phenomenal.
You know, it's like when the Matrix came out. That's the level of quantum leap in special effects that movie.
It won't get anything, it might get special effect, but that's it.
You know, I'm just, the most annoying part of these fucking awards are these winners
crying about winning.
They're crying. It's like your life
isn't that bad. I wish somebody just go up and be like, fuck yeah! Boom! You see
this Golden Globe? After the show, I got a rock of cocaine that fucking big and I'm
doing it on a fucking Merrill Streep's asshole. What do you think about that?
That's who I am? I'm just tired of winners winning. How about giving me a
lifetime achievement war for being in this fucking town and not giving up when I
should move the fuck on and move to his city like Tampa and just banged chicks
and be appreciated for my well-crafted dick jokes. Some people like
the Carl Sagan of dick jokes. Some people appreciate his deep meanings to
his fucking raw-dogging bits.
But nobody fucking does in this town. I was just watching the the goddamn comedy jam last night
and it was awesome. God bless, you know, big shout out to Josh Amyers. It's gonna be fun.
Tiffany Hattish fucking destroyed. Destroyed. I saw that girl six years ago. I was like that girl's going
to be a star. I wanted to do stuff with it. It's just like that's why I'm producing
my own stuff. I just sold this digital series about shooting specials. I'm gonna
shoot all the people I see special before anybody else sees them so I can just be
the grown-ass man. Why not? I see everybody before everybody else.
I know who's going to blow
up and who's not going to blow up. I know who's going to work, who's not going to work.
So why not? I'm just because you, I have people ask me to do content. Let me shoot these people.
Don't tell me who I got a proof. You just shoot them. That's what I do.
That's what I do. So we get to the want to be, I'm just going to be cranking
out fastballs.
So we get to the award season, Golden Globes, I think the Golden Globes should be renamed
Cocaine and Jack Daniels because everybody's shit-faced up there.
They literally just nominate you so.
Yeah, they're like, hey you wanted a war? I'm like, what? They're like, yeah, it's in Vegas, we need you show up. I'm like, get I, do I get a
hotel room? Nope. Not coming home, boy. Everybody's fucked up. I didn't even
see Jimmy Fallon anywhere. Yeah. He hardly showed up. Jimmy Fallon hardly showed up.
Yeah.
Which makes me think that he really was enjoying that Jack Daniels and cocaine.
I don't think so.
You don't think he parties?
No.
I know he parties.
Okay.
Yeah.
Not, and I don't mean in a bad way.
I mean, like, God bless him.
I finally can relate to somebody on television.
But the Merrill Street fucking thing, just, you know, it's like,
it's really funny to listen to somebody who's been famous since they were what, 16 years old?
Well, she was in her 20s, okay, 20? Yeah. Someone since the famous since they were 20,
talking about how they're all outsiders?
Well, Sarah Jessica Parker is an outsider. Someone since the famous since they were 20 talking about how they're all outsiders? Well.
Sarah Jessica Parker is an outsider?
She has a, she looks not for everybody.
They're outsiders from people who watch sports and you know.
They're not outside.
They're all inside.
If you actually met and really investigate who each one of them are, they have huge...
And listen, God bless them.
Some of them certainly come from a legacy that's like...
Fuck, yeah!
You can't.
Sarah Jessica Parker is the farthest thing from an outsider.
Why are we talking about Sarah Jessica Parker?
Because it was part of... Did you hear the speech?
Yeah, I heard Merrill Street speech. Yeah, she brought her up. She's like Sarah Jessica Parker, she's from Michigan.
She's from Ohio.
She's from Ohio, you're an outsider?
I mean, she had a little weird acting family, but yeah.
Yeah.
Ohio is outside for LA, for sure.
Dude, it's just like, dude, it's not where you're from.
It's this weird kind of fucking, you know, like you can instantly instantly, thly thly, thly, thly, like, like, like, like, thi, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like kind of fucking, you know, like you can instantly tell when somebody's an insider
and an outsider.
These hipster looks, this alt look,
this social justice warrior shit,
it's like you could just tell.
It's just, it's so interesting.
It's like when Jule tells everybody she lived in her car.
It's like for what? two to' hours? Like, to told, told, told, told, told, told, told, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, th. th. It's, it's, thi, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, it's, th. It's, it's, it's, th. It's, it's not, it's not, it's like, it's not, it's like, it's not, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. It's, it's, it's, th. It's like for what? Two hours? Because you're too drunk to drive? Like, what are we talking about? I don't know. I just, it's just winners, it's this whole thing
that the rich do to the port, man, is they try to make it so they're relatable, like their
problems are your problems. Like, Sarah Jessica Parker, I mean, Merrill Streep crying about injustice is laughable.
Like where does that affect, it's like my problem with LeBron James talking about posse.
Like posse.
Like, where's racism affect you, Lebron James?
Who in your life can affect you with racism?
Let's be honest.
Like at 18 years old, okay, yeah, in high school they were gave
you some shit. Since then, you've had a fucking run, home boy, and there's no bike. Have you
ever watched how he talks to referees? He lays into them. I just think they're referring to...
Overall. Yeah, they're not. They're trying to use their status as a platform to help other people. I just. I. I. I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I just, I just, I just, I just, I, I, I, I, I, I just, I thi, I just, I, I the, I the, I the, I the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th, th. th, th. th. th. th, th, th. th. the, the, the, the, the, the, theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, the, the, the, to use their plot their status as a platform to help
other people I just okay I did that I'm not dealing with yeah though I mean
he might a moment to moment stuff but it's like how you were sell
relateability I just like Merrill Street crying about outsiders was
unbelievable and then this out of nowhere just going off on mixed martial arts
Like for someone who supposedly trained in the arts
Like yeah called it not art martial arts is 100% arts like the dedication time the people that the time that people put in to that
That form of entertainment is as equal, if not more impressive than acting?
Yes.
It's not painting, but I get what you're saying.
It is definitely...
Dude, Bruce Lee was an artist, bro.
For sure.
If, like, compared to what painting?
The stuff I see in coffee bean where it's like $400 for this guy that took a shit
on a fucking canvas?
Certainly not. There are extremes on both sides that are ridiculous.
I just got rubber man.
I think she just wants, what I took on that statement was just a jackheaded douchebagery,
which is mostly found in football and MMA.
Fans, not necessarily the competitors.
It's just so interesting that it's all about shitting on white guys. It really is. White guys fucking suck. Aaron, have you
done anything to anybody in your life? Yeah, certainly. Oh shit.
Let's hear about it. I murdered somebody in high school but nobody knows about it.
I just like it's just, I just like this this whole thing about white guys are the fucking devil it's just ridiculous it's just ridiculous yes there was a
history of racism 100% there still is institutional racism but the notion
that everybody is is unbelievably ignorant yeah of course and change did not come unless
white guys did it. I
hate to tell everybody that. Yeah, yeah. I love how like white, now that we have
white guys like they can partnerize that they're not white guys. Like gay guys are
gay guys, they're not white guys. They're not white guys. They're not white guys. They're not white guys. They're not white guys. They're not white guys. They're not white guys. They're not. They're not. They're not white guys. They're not white guys. They're not. They're not white guys. They're not white guys. They're not white guys. They're not. They're not white guys. They're not white guys. They're not white guys. They're not white guys. They're not white guys. They're not white guys. They're not white guys. They're not white guys. They're not white guys. They're not white. They're not white guys. They're not white guys. They're not white guys. They're not white. They're not white guys. They're not white guys. They're not white guys. They're not white guys. They're not white guys. They're not white guys. They're not white guys. They're not white guys. They're not white guys. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not white. They're not white. They're not white. They're not white. They're not white. They're not white. They're not white. They're not white. They're not white. They're not white. They're not white. now are not white guys.
Oh, you're white guys.
You're 100% white guys.
When I think, when I heard her statement, I did not necessarily picture a race, but certainly they were white guys.
If we did this to Obama not even giving this guy a shot, not even giving him a shot.
It's that's it. It's like he is our president.
At the end of the day, he's our president. And I'm not happy about it. And there's no one to blame
by Hillary Clinton for that. I'm sorry. There's a lot of things. No, come on than just her. Okay. So if emails come out that she fucking him up. And that's a lot. the threat. the they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. the the the the the the the the the the the the they. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. threat. th. the. threat. th. threat. the. the. threat't even spent a dollar on my campaign. I'm getting all this exposure.
That was done on purpose.
That's the media.
Yeah.
There's a lot, like I'm saying, there's a lot of people to blame.
It's not just Hillary, it's the media.
It's the, our own culture.
It's, mm-hmm. So let's end this real quick because we gotta go. Can I turn my own mic on? No, no, no, no, I would prefer that.
Okay.
I would rather have someone going, shut up, or you're being crazy.
I'd much rather have that.
I don't think you're being crazy.
I just think there's a lot of things.
I just think that it's, as they're walking to the stage. It's gotten that fucking
cookie cutter. And it's just like crowds are getting, like what everybody used to say about
LA crowds before and I'd be like, you're fucking crazy. It is now happening. I watch people just,
just eat pop comedy, just up. And it's just like, everybody wants honesty
until you start getting honest.
That's why I learned.
You know, I was telling the story
about the time I got robbed by a hooker twice in one day.
And just people freeze up on me.
Yeah.
And it's just like, everybody loved Richard Pryor when he was talking about smoking
crack and everyone's like, that's so brave and then somebody just go hey man my life is pretty crazy
yeah that's my whole point it's just it's really
anyways we'll get back I won't end on this
Raiders lost devastating loss the amount of of happiness the amount of of
happiness my friends and fans have taken in Raiders Losing is unbelievable.
It hurts.
Rader Nation's dead, bro.
It's like, dude, I give you free entertainment.
Why are you kicking me when I'm crying?
So now I have to get a Hitler mustache.
That's unfortunate.
I have to get a Hitler mustache because I lost a bat and I have to wear it for 24 hours.
So my problem is I go to a 12-step program. It's all gay guys.
Like what am I going to do? I got to walk in with a Hitler just going, hey everybody, I lost the bat.
Are you uncomfortable with this? If you are, I'll see you guys next week, I'll leave these here. You know? It's like, what do I do?
It's 24 hours? Yeah.
Could you skip it for one day?
Well, I don't want to go into my show Wednesday with a Hitler mustache.
Yeah, yeah.
That's a huge show.
Yeah.
I hopefully will sell some tickets.
Is anyone bought any tickets?
Oh, really?
Okay, good. The comedy store, can I just tell you, Brenton, you're doing a great job?
Breton's in here. It's, the place is cooking with gas. The lineups are great.
You know, I'm not on it as much as I used to be, but the, no, I get it. But Brenton's a, Breton Bill Cone. he, he is, he's a very funny comic, and he also does a lot of,
he does the social media for the comedy store,
and he's really great.
And I'm just so excited for this Wednesday.
I do my, I do an annual Naughty Show at the Expiz Awards,
and I'm gonna do it every year.
And I'm gonna talk to Emily about locking it down
because I know people, once I start doing stuff
and they see it and they wanna,
they try to get in on it,
I just want to be an annual show.
And then I'm gonna be in Vegas for AVNs,
if you're ever out there.
. I'm gonna be doing the late the late the late to be doing a the late thua to be doing to be doing a thua. I'm gonna little time. I'm doing a late night show there so. Guys, I love that. I was going to play a motivational thing, but I think you're ready to go.
Um, I think I really crush this one. Yeah. We'll see what the reaction is. I'm very nervous.
Because there's a lot of yelling and I do love everybody. I just don't want to think in stereotypes. I just don't just tho tho think just think just think just think tho th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi th th thi thi thi thi thi thi to to to to to to to to to to the thi the to to to to to to to to thi thi thi thi thi thi. I'm really thi thi th. I'm really th. I'm really the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm thi. I thi. I'm thr-I thr-I thr-a. I'm thr-a. I'm thr-a. I'm thr-a. I thr-a. I thr-I thr-I thr-I thr-I th in stereotypes. Yeah. And that's my whole thing.
Guys, I hope to see you at some of these awesome shows.
Hope you're enjoying the Patreon special podcast for Punch Drunk.
I will see you guys tomorrow at, at Punch Drunk, and then I'm going to figure out when
I can do a tinfoil hat this week.
So all right, guys, I appreciate everything.
And we'll th, I.