Tin Foil Hat With Sam Tripoli - The International Bad Boys Hour Ep 52: Good Times with Steve Simeone
Episode Date: April 12, 2016Steve Simeone joins the Bad Boys live in studio for another instant classic. The boys talk about The Comedy Store, bad ass special forces and finding happiness what ever you do. This episode is easily... one of our best yet. I hope you enjoy this episode and thank you for your support. Please let us know what you think of the episode and what you like and dislike about the show show!
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Oh my! Come down, nigga. Come down, nigga. Ready on the left. Come down, nigga. Ready on the right.
Yeah, calm down, nigga.
Let me go, let's go.
Oh my lord.
It is the international.
Bad boys are not at home.
I messed that one up.
Sink.
Sink knows my tone was off. I punched out of the- sink nose my tone was off
I punched me right before I am punched you I go stop it yeah you did like the dad
seatbelt thing yeah yeah yeah yeah because he's like he was like shut up and you
kept going and then no because then you said you're gonna have that tag in
because I paused yeah because you pause you're sensitive today no I'm not sensitive today it's nothing because if you're just just like you you're just th you're just th you're th you're th you're th you're th you're th you're th you're th you're th you're th you're th you're th you're th I'm th th th th tho I'm th are tho I'm tho I'm th I'm tho I'm thi tho I'm th I'm th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I thi thi thi thi th is like you're like you're like you're th you're th you're th you're th you're th you're th you're th you're th you th you th you th you th you're th you're th you're th you're th I th I th I'm th I'm thin you're thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin the thin thin thin to thin thin the thin thin thin the thin thin th th th th th ay No, I'm not sensitive today. It's nothing wrong because if you're just throwing something not if I'm throwing some not you like do I got big
Can I use that fuck yeah? I go hey, you know, I'm talking about you?
Let me give me an example. Hey, Sam, let me give me example. Hey, I liked what you said? that? Oh, that was pretty clear. Yeah, that. Yeah, that. Yeah, that. that. that. that that that that that that was. that that was. that was. that that was. that was. that was. that was. that was. that was. that. that was. that was I that was I was I was I was I was I was I'm th. th. th. tho's I'm thoes. th. th. th. th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I th. th. th. th. th. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I th. th. th. th. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. th. I'm th. th. I'm th. I'm throooooooooooooo. I'm like. I'm th. I'm th. I'm. I'm. I'm about how the word, how I don't think we should, the word, the word, I said that. I said this, I said it up.
You're supposed to be playing me.
I'm playing me now I'm gonna play you and me.
Okay?
Okay?
You've been doing that for you. And you'll know you's because, I'm like, hey Steve, I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th, th, th..... th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th just dropped an octave, a little bit. A little bit.
So here's how it goes.
I'm like, hey Steve, I got this great new bit I'm working on about how like,
because of gay marriage, interracial dating and we're pretty cool with drugs.
You know, those are the big taboos.
The next one is we should take the word fuck freely. You're like, yeah, man, it's kind of like the word Scali. No, no, it's like fuck, you said it's just a place filler word like fuck or um. Yeah, and I said,
I said, yeah, and I said, in the 1800s, uh, they used to, scaly wag used to be like saying fuck or the end word. Yeah, and I go, hey dude, can I use that punch, thi, that that that that that that the punch, the punch, the punch, the punch, the punch, the punch, the punch, the punch, the punch, the p. the p. the p. the p. the p. the p. the p. the pa, the play, the play, the place, the place, the place, the place, th. the place, the place, the place, the place, it's the place, the place, the place, the place, the place, the place, the place, the place, the place, the place, the place, the place, the place, the place, the place, the place, the place, the place, the place, the place, the place, the place, the place, the the the the place, the the the the place, the place, the place, the place, the place, place, place, place, place, the the place, place, place, place, the the place, place, place, the place, the place, place, the place, the place, the place you did. No, you know what I was thinking in that second?
Bill Posley, who's a guest on this show, was the first one to tell me that.
So I was like, well, like, because he was like Scali Wag, like he said that.
And so I was just thinking, I'll ask him if I've done stand-up dude, I've done people's podcasts
where I've watched people, we're kind of having conversations, they're like, and I see them write
something, I see them write it down, you know.
Well, what happens? Okay, I guess I got to ask you, because this happens a lot. You're waiting
to go up on stage, not you but like comics and we're having a hilarious conversation and then someone goes to the stage I've done this before I'm like and goes and
talks about what we were talking about is that all right? Well it depends on
who initiates the conversation? How are you ever gonna know? 100%? You know what
I say when I'm about to say something I think could be a funny joke I go you know I've been doing this thing on stage and then I say it I the th you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th I'm th I'm th I'm th I'm th I'm th I'm tho I'm th I'm th I'm th I'm th th thin I'm thin I'm the th th th th th th th thin I th thin I th thin I th th th th thin th th th th th th th th th th th th I'm th I'm th I'm th I'm th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin the the the the the the to to the to to thi to thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi and I say it. So then I claim it. Oh I'm gonna do that. Yeah, I've been
doing this thing on stage and then I claim it. So once I've been doing it on stage like
oh bitch like you're not gonna come on like on my property I've been doing this. Yeah. No,
no one's gonna go the door's lot. Okay. This is my intellectual property let me tell you. No I'm not gonna say it but no I get you. No I that you. No I get you. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that you you you you you you you you you you. that. that. that. that. Yeah. that's that's that's that's not. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I that. I that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I I I I I I I th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I th. Yeah. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm not. I'm. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm. I'm not. I'm get you I get you yeah I got so that's kind of where we're at on that okay so Scolly wag scaly the I'm just like I'm trying
to really push new jokes I don't so funny I heard not in a 12 step
program is that this old guy sometimes you go to like a 12 step
program meeting and there's like there's like an old dude there and some people young people there and the old guy thi there there there the the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I thi thi tho-I tho-I tho-I tho-I thi tho-I tho-I tho- I'm there's like there's like there's like there's like there's like there's like there's like there's like there's like there's like there's like there's like there's like there's like there's like there's like there's like there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's th is th is th I I th I th I th I th I th I tho tho tho tho tho tho-I tho-I tho-I tho-I tho-I'm tho-I'm tho-I'm tho-I'm tho-I tho-I tho- by the old guy there, but I'm a little more sensitive because I'm kind of in between the young people and the old guy.
Like I'm very sensitive right now to ageism.
I watch it happen all the time.
Well, because of the Stevo conversation on our podcast, I think that spooked you maybe
maybe a little bit.
No, because I disagree.
He got dramatic, but I was like dude I don't even feel like he's like it's all over well for him because where he was and what's
going on now like the demographic he fucks with our you know they're older it's
like who was it somebody the Eagles or somebody did a thing about how like
they look out in the crowd it's all old chicks I'm like well you're
fucking old old yeah they want everybody wants fucking th their things like like like like like like the the the the they they they they they they they they. they. they. they. they. I I I I I I they. they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they their they. they. I they they're like like like like like liked I they. they they. they they're liked I they. their their their their their. their. their. I their. I their. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I they's. I I I I th. I th. I th. I th. I th th th thi. I'm like like like liked. I'm like liked. I'm liked. I'm like liked. I'm like like. th. th. th. th. th. theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. the at their thing. Like everybody wants Crystal. I don't know, man. For me personally, I like a variety of people in my audience.
I like, fuck, of all ages and colors, I don't want one group of anything. I just really don't.
I like everybody counterbalancing. You're like a random grab bag at the DMV. Yeah, I don't. I've done shows where it's all young, hot chicks. I'm like, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. And I'm like this is gonna be miserable. You know what I was I was just telling somebody
Remember that show we did in Pasadena for those Koreans?
How many girls were on that show? Remember like they and they were underage?
The owners were just letting them in do I'm doing stand-up, it goes,
you're doing stand-up now. I was just working at a restaurant.
It did well and then he just stopped it, right?
Yeah, it did really, really well. I went and found a notebook during that time period.
We had Leslie Jones, um, Adam Dive. Like, and this is all the credit to Sam. the the the th th th th th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi th, thi, thi, th, it was th, it was th, it was th, it was thin, thin, thin, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, th. It was, it, it, th. It, it, th. It, it, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. th. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. the credit to Sam. Sam was building the lineups. But our lineups were like the comedy store lineups now.
And it was at some random restaurant in Pasadena.
And this guy, remember he built us a stage.
And you didn't know what was going on the whole time because I worked for these, these
were Korean sweatshop owners that were born in Brazil, moved to Tijuana, their own sweatshops, built an empire, then came and in Pasadena bought a random, a random restaurant
and then it was run by all white kids and they bought it and they were like, you, go, go,
go back now.
And I'm like, this is like, what are you doing?
You can't do this.
Like, they ran sweatshops for 20 years.
And so they'd be like, you, you're a worker, go scrub. And I'm like, dude, no, homie. So then one day, I did a ha ha, I did a comedy, yeah, like everybody was like, what are you
thinking but they were ruthless, dude?
They would try to smoke cigarettes.
They didn't play by the rules.
Inside and so they, like I did a comedy contest at the restaurant. And I go, well, I don't know, and they're like, call your friends.
I call Tripoli. This is five years ago. And you're like, I guess this could work. I mean, there's no stage.
Dude, that stage. Remember, they built us a stage with like floodlights. And you weren't stressed. because because because because because because because because because because because it they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're. they they they're like. they're like. they they they they they they they they they they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I call, I call, I call, I call, I call, I call, I call. I call. I call. I call. I call. I call. I call. I call. I call. I call. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I, I. I. I, I. I call. I call. I call. I call. I call. I call. I call. I call. I call. I call. I call. I call. I call. I call, I call, I don't th. I don't, I don't, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't th. I call, I call, I call, I call, I call, I call my day job, however it went on that week would reflect in my, you know, schedules.
I'm living hand to mouth at this restaurant and then, it was, dude, they told me they're
like underage girls is fine, so all the girls and the friends of the friends who were
17 years old were coming and getting wasted at the show.
We had like hundreds of, we had a lot of her crazy to end Divine to I've tried to get Adam Divine on these shows I guess at some point you just become what you when you've been doing
a hit show for six years. Is he on um the other show on ABC too is he on two
shows? Probably I mean is the other show with the homoes? Whoa Aaron. Can we can't call them now? I'm just being dramatic so what should we call them they're gay? the the favorite my my my my the their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. that. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin. thin. thin. to to to to to to to to the. to to to to to to to to to the. the. the. the we call them? They're gay. My favorite some of my best friends are gay. Cool. I can say that.
Can I tell you about what I did? Real quick where you're gonna be?
I'm doing potluck tonight. Potluck last week was awesome. Joey Diaz, there's good energy in here. I don't know why something. There's the energy in the room. the energy. the energy. the energy. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their. their. their their their their. their. their. th. their. their. their. th. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I's. I's. t. I's. t. I's. t. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I'm. I's. I's. I'm. I'm. I's. the th. there's the energy in the room is just sword. It's like an eagle like an eagle I feel love like like like
Last week's potluck was some of the most fun I've ever had at the comedy store
Joey Diaz hosted potluck so for all of us new guys it was so cool because he made everybody's jokes So like like Chelsea you know we're kind of talking his friends now and she was like how was it I'm like, you know, thi like you know everybody was I think kind of nervous he made everybody funnier because he'd
give you such a funny intro even if you said a he's old school a sec a spec of something funny
funny he would riff on it so that the last thing that everybody's remembering is like this
really funny riff that you started but even if you bomb on stage it was just it was it was amazing I love it I love it I love it I the I the the the the th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th th th th th th th th th th th th th was just th was just th was just th was just was just was just was just was th was just th th th was just th was th was th was th was th was was th was was th was th was was th was was th was th was th was th was th was th was just it was just it was just it was just it was just it was just it was just it was just th was just th was just th was just th was just th was just th was th was th was th was th was th was th was th was th was th was th was th was th was th was th was th was th th th th th th th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th be? I'm going to be at the potluck tonight. I don't have any shows.
Oh no, I'm going to be hosting Madhouse.
Friday and Saturday, 730 and 930 shows at the Madhouse in San Diego.
Driving past my ex-girlfriend's house where I used to live, try not to get emotional about that. thrown. to their to their. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I'm to be to be hosting. I'm to be hosting. I'm to be hosting. I'm going to be hosting. I'm going to be hosting. I'm going to be hosting. I'm hosting hosting. I'm going to be hosting. I'm hosting. I'm hosting. I'm hosting hosting. I'm going to hosting. I'm hosting. I'm hosting. I'm hosting. I'm hosting hosting. I'm going to hosting. I'm hoa. I'm hoa. I'm hoa. I'm hosting. I'm hoa. I'm hosting. I'm hoa. I'm hoa. I'm hoa. I I I'm hoa. I I I I I I I I'm ho. I I I'm ho. I'm hosting. I'm ho. I'm to hosting. I'm to hosting. I'm to to to to to to to to to th to th th th to hosting. I'm going. to hosting. to hosting. to hosting. I'm going to hosting. I'm going to hosting. I'm going to hosting. I'm going to hosting. I'm hosting. I'm hosting. I'm what are you up to I'm like dude what's going on and I told I was passing through my exes he's like aren't you
want a better isn't life so much better now but it's like you know when you're
doing when you did a whole weekend you do four shows and then you're
driving back at one thirty eight and you're driving back by your old house like I don't know I'm not the guy to do it that but but I I I I I I I I I I I I get I I I I I I I I I the the the the the the the the the th I I th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you know I get I get I get I get I get I'm I get I get I get I get I get I get I'm I'm I'm I get I get I'm I get I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th is is the th is th is th is th is the th is the the the the the the the the the the the they. they. the they. the the the the the the the it's over, you know, I'm not the guy
does every week in a, you know,
for the last like two years I've been doing about two weeks
a month on the road.
Sometimes I'll go like six weeks and then I'll have a couple weeks off,
you know, but I still get the point where it's emotional dump.
Well, this is what's happened to me the few times I have done the road I haven't done it a lot but you'll go out and you'll entertain the people you
give all yourself like rock and roll you're the rock star at 200 three hundred
people are looking at you hanging on everything you say and then they go
all all right we're all done and then you justthis place is in a mall the madhouse. It's really fun to do. I love the madhouse I'm and and then you're walking but I was walking by my car and people like you know, you're funny
I had a good time I'm like goodbye and I get in my car and I'm just watching them make out and drive out with little jealous eyes you know The worst is now I've this thi this thing when I thrown I'll bring in our guests their their their their their g guess and we their their g guess and we their g guess in our guests in our guests in our guests in our guests in our guests in our guests in our guests in our guests in our guests in our guests the guests the guests the guests the guests the the the the the the th. the th. the the the th. th. th. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the the th. the. the. the. the. te. te. te. te. te. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the road, man, this is the way, and I've had comedians watch this.
When I destroy a room, I mean just fucking shake the walls.
You remember Lankrafts?
How you go my way, wherever the fucking thing.
Yeah.
When I, when I, fucking rocked, and the walls are shaking.
Nobody talks to me after the show.
Nobody talks me. When I have that kind of show, and this is a great example,
and I want to bring you in on this one,
when I have an okay set to even a poorish set,
nobody can stop to, I get a line around the door.
Like I'm a fucking soup kitchen for homeless people.
It's just, there's a line of people wanting hand.
And a great thap thap thap tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha thi thi thi thi Stephen on this like hey I liked you like you get that one no no no no I get people
come up awesome like this weekend I did the main room and I found Byron Bowers
who is really I'm gonna tell you something if you don't know Brian Bowers
I'm gonna say something in about two years this kid's gonna be the next level shit I really really he's going to be doing next level shit. It's my theory is when black people do white people
drugs it's either they go fucking great or they're cat Williams. It's like one or the other.
That's where they fucking go. But he's doing some fucking amazing shit on stage. And he went up there and I heard him going up there and I heard him going up an I their. and I their. and I their. and I their. I their. I their. I heard their. I heard th. I heard th. I heard th. I heard th. I heard th. I heard th. And I heard th. And I heard th. And I heard th. And I heard th. And I heard th. And I heard him th. And I heard him th. And I th. When I th. When I th. When th. When th. When th. When th. When th. When th. When th. When th. When th. When th. When th. When th. When, when th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, the, their th. their their, their, th. When their, when their, when their, when their their, when their their black. When their their their black. When their the. When the. When th, I guess you guys didn't like that. Sound me like he was killing.
And then I went out and it just was, I could not connect.
You know I throw classic, they'd explode.
Nude shit, stare at me, classic, explode.
And it starts to mention when you're he had.
Then the light's not coming on.
The light is not coming on. Joining me, because he's been where I am. He's got a great, what's the name of your podcast? Good times.
A great fucking podcast.
One of the nicest guys and one of the baddest comics,
in terms of badass comics, I know Mr. Steve Simone.
And I mean that with all-
Thank you.
That's why I'm just happy to be hanging out with you guys.
I got nervous. I was like, they're already talking. You're actually, we do 30 minutes.
Because you know, I used to have the old podcast, naughty show,
and I, we never scheduled time for people
to get to know the people on the show
or what's going on.
Yeah, you gotta do the intro. You gotta do the intro, yeah, you gotta do the outro, and the outro, and the, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, to, the, the, to, the, the, the, to, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the th........... And, the the the the th.. the th. tho, thoo. thoooo. thoooooo-s. thooooo-s. thooo-a, thoo-a,'re like, and you want to, yeah, you got to mix it up. So you got to have a little bit of both.
So the reason I would love to talk, yeah, that's your, that water is your,
free water. Free water.
Free water. We're pretty high class here.
Uh, is that those late night main the spots, they're mind fuks. Well, those those those those those those those those those those those those those those those those those those those those those those those those those those those those those th, th, th, th, th, thi thi, thi, thi, the late the late late late late night thi, the late late late late late late late late late late late late late late late late late late late late late late late late late late late late. Those thi, thi, thi, thi, th. Those th. Those th. Those th. Those late. Those late. Those late. Those late. Those. Those. Those. Those. Those. Those. Those. Those. Those. Those. Those. Those. Those. Those. Those. Those. Those. Those. Those. Those. Those. Those. Those. Those. Those. Those. Those. Those. Those. Those. Those. Those. Those. Those late. Those late. Those late. Those late. Those late night. Those late night. Those late night, th. Those late night, th. Those late night, th. Those late late late late night, th. Those late late late late night, thankful for them, but they're mind-fucks.
Well, it's great to be on the team coach.
Yeah, and that's ultimately the way I look.
They're great to be considered one of the better comics at the comedy store,
which is the greatest comedy club in the world.
That's great. It's a nice little chunk of change, which is that's, which, which, which, which, which, which is, which is, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that's, that's, that's, that's, thi, that's, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi., thi. And, thi. thi. thi. thi. thii. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, I believe, make you really, really good.
But the problem is they're not, it's not always fun to live through.
Yes.
Right?
Because you're going up in front of an audience that is tired.
They don't want to be there anymore.
And I think the worst set is when the room is full, but they don't want to be there's every every spot soon as you get past an hour and a half into a show
Every spot starts to take on its own personality And you never know which one you're gonna get you might get the spot where all the nerds left and all the people that are left are awesome
Because there's sometimes a second life in that late night room. Yeah, then there's other times where it's like no matter what you do
You could bring out Richard Pryor one 100 percent. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th th th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the theat's the. the. the. you the. you you you the. you the. you you you you th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're th. the the the the the the the the the theeeeeee they're they're they they the the the the the the I talk about, now the whole thing is, how many people leave when you're done?
And that's like, no matter who you are,
even, Richard Pryor, if you give them the two and a half hours
spot into a show, people are gonna leave.
Like when you came up to me the other day,
going, to watch your people leave during Jim Jeffers, he's like, what are they doing? Oh yeah, Jim Jeffries dropped in and like, it doesn't matter who.
Yeah, even Eric the manager was like excited.
He's like, oh my god, he's one of my favorite comics and we were so excited to see him.
And then like, 20 people just, and Sam was sitting in one of the booths and Sam and I are looking at each other shaking our heads, but they don't, I guess. know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I, I, I know, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, and, and, the, the, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, even, and, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the, like, the, their, even, even, their, their, even, their, their, even, even, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the, the, the, the,'s not a comedy store? And there's a little bit of a way of you enter
when your comedy store, that if he did the comedy store for a little while,
it would have gone even better than it did after once they realized where he was at.
Do you think so?
Oh yeah, he walked right out and jumped right into a joke.
He didn't say anything to the crowd.
You got to connect. He can go to to to go to to go to to to to the to to the tho, tho, tho, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, the comedy, tho, tho, tho, the coo, the coo, the comedy, the comedy, the the comedy, the the the the comedy, it the the comedy, it the the the comedy, it the the comedy, the comedy, it th, th, it tho, it tho, it tho, it tho, the comedy, thi, it thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, it, it, it, to anybody, he can go, hey, what's going on? Oh, you guys are still here, which you watch people do.
That's what, that's what those late night spots are good for.
You gotta be, the comedy store, if anything,
teaches you, it's all about in the moment.
It's all about in the moment.
Yeah, oh yeah, you can't do a person, you can't say hitting off the tea, yeah, if you're going up at 10 o'clock. The reason your great Steve is because you are a early show guy
who kills late night and that is not easy to do.
And there are guys who get those early spots
and I don't have anything with anybody that are just,
if I hear another person go, oh my god,
that guy killed, what's like thrown in dude. That's new pussy spot. Yeah, it's baby If you you call me when somebody doesn't kill in that spot right that's more
amazing to me. Hey, dude, that's only got three in and he bombed now I want to
hear this story. Tell me some dude teed off three four five in if you're
anywhere earlier than a let that there's there's eight spots in the. Anywhere in that eight spots, if you're not crushing, you're doing something wrong.
After the eight spots, if you're crushing, you gotta fuck, you know what you're doing.
Yeah, and spot seven and eight, this is my theory on comedy. Comedy is a very, especially live,
all comedy in general, is it fascinating art form, whether it's film, television, or live performance, because the audience is actively engaged. You're trying to get a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the response the response the response the response to get to get the response to get the response to get the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their their their their their. their their their. their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their their their thea. theateateateateateateat. theateateateat. theateat. their ea. their their ea. their their performance because the audience is actively engaged.
You're trying to get a response out of that audience.
A drama, you can just sit and chill and you're still doing your job.
Yeah, yeah.
A comedian has to make you laugh.
A comedy film.
A comedy film, a comedy film, a comedy film, a comedy film, a comedy film, 70 minutes,
that's
all you can really laugh and be engaged for. And then you need a break. I like
going up on the road. I like going up on the road. I like going up in the road at no
letter than 30 minutes into the show. That's when I feel is the best time.
So I'll give my opener 10 minutes, my feature 20 then let me get up. Maybe a guest spot but dude. But that's. But that's. But th. But th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I. I. I. I. I. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the th. the th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the the the the the the the the the the's it. And let me get up. Maybe a guest spot, but dude.
Yeah, but then that starts ruining,
it really does start ruining the show.
30 minutes, they're warmed up, they're ready to go,
and then when I headline, when I was younger,
I was insecure, I wanted to prove that I was a headliner, I was like, thrown, I'm thu........ that. that. that. that. that. that. that. thrown, that. thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, that. thrown, thrown, thirty. thirty. thrown, thrown, thirty. thirty. thirty. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. thrown. thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrownee. throwne. throwne. throwne least amount of time I can do? Really? Yes. Yes.
Keep them wanting more.
Get out on a huge laugh.
I really like that guy.
As soon as they really start to get to know me.
And then it's like later.
It's like at a house party.
Are you talking about comedy?
When you're crushing.
.
. talked to a lady that was a manager that used to be a waitress and she said, you know, it's so funny that you're picking up on that because she was like, I've waited tables
for over 10 years. She was like, regardless of who the headliner was, we always made the
most money and tips with a 45 minute headliner set. 45, no matter who it was. I should do that. Trust me, it'll change. their. I's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's. I. I. I. I. I's. I. I's. It's. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, I. their. It's, regardless. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. Regardless. Regardless. their, regardless. their, regardless. their, regardless. their, regardless. their, regardless. their, regardless. their, regardless. their, regardless. It's. their. their, regardless. their, regardless. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. t. t. tod. today. today. the. the. the. the. their. their. their. their. Regardless, regardless. Regardless. their, regardless. their. the ego. I don't know how long my stories are. I really think my stories are five men stories,
and then I realize that they're really 10 to 12 to 13 men's stories.
When they're done, right?
See, that's another problem that is common and comedy,
especially when you're not used to quality stage time.
Quality stage time, a seven minute bit is really, you take your time with it. You let it marinate. Saver it. Yeah, it's probably 12, 15 minute bit.
But like sometimes when you're, even when you know you can get a bit in late night, you got
to chop out the fat sometimes to get to the laugh because their attention spans are fried.
They're not as engaged as a, and I acknowledge that with, and that's how I connect. Yeah. Two hours ago you guys were awesome. Yeah. And there we were. I always hope, oh, it was,
you guys are such a great crowd two hours ago.
You'll be like, man, I watch you guys be awesome
and now you're not, you know?
Yeah.
And it's like, those are tricks you learn.
Sometimes people don't get me. see me sometimes I'm like what is it? Because I love yelling at the crowd but I do it, I do it intellectually in a way where I know what to say that makes them laugh.
Yes, see that's the thing you hit the nail on the head like because the greatest thing about the comedy store is learning from each other.
And I love the fact that there's kids with dreams in their eyes to show up. But I could see like an open-my comic watching Tripoli do what he does and they're like, oh, I could just yell at the audience. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's the, that's what an unexperienced I see is.
I go, oh my god, he's connecting.
He's bringing them into his world.
He's getting them ready for Tripoli time.
This is awesome, but it's done with the vulnerability and it's done with the sweetness.
. I, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's you can combine. Yeah, thank you. But it's the truth, and that's what we're all called to do as comics,
is find out what makes me mean.
Yeah, that's it.
And I think you had it from.
It's right.
You are one of those guys that I'm like,
when you get a special, it's going could be put up against any story that's
been told, dude.
And the comedy story, that's like the best story, dude.
It's such a, it's such a well-beat thing, man.
And I, which story?
About his nephew in a Philadelphia, and I don't want to get the bid away.
Yeah, but it's like, his nephew is like a thin every Christmas got to bring him gifts. Oh, yeah, yeah I love that story Are the gifts good not not good enough? Yeah, man
The reason I wanted to get into is because you're very interesting man
Because you're a lot like me
Like this last up that at the store. I'm I'm a weird guy at the store because I don't know my foot in the store. the store, I don't know my footing at the the the the the the the the the the the the tho tho the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th is th. the th. th. the the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the reason's is the reason's the reason's the reason is. the reason is. the reason is. the reason is. the the the th is. th is. th is. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin is the is three is the. the. threat is. the. the reason. the reason. three is th. the. the. the reason reason reason why's three coming from someone who works the door, who I'm kind of in a little bit, but I'm not made, I'm not made, I'm not made yet.
So I get to see, I'm with my back on the wall and a lot of the guys that have been there class at the store? Are you in my class or? No.
Is Ari that another class?
I think, I think you had your class, which would be you, Cap, Ernst, and Sebastian?
And Mazz.
And Amad was in that class, too?
That was your class.
Now there was a, now that was my class, but there were guys who joined my class that joined later, which I consider like Steve Burn
Brian Callan because they were actually after you, but for some reason because we're all the same age
In a weird way that I hung out with you guys my actual class is like probably two after you because I didn't get past for eight years
People don't understand that are you can't? Are you kidding? Wow, the young kids are ready to call it quits
Because they're millennials. They're not bad. to to to to to to th th th th the th th th the th their th their th th their th th th their th th th their th their th th that that that that that that that their their that theat. thu. thu. thu. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thi. te. teat. teat. teat. tea. tea. tea. tea. they. they. their their their their the kidding? These young kids are ready to call it quits because they're millennials, they're not bad people,
but dude, people don't realize Ari showcase almost 30 times.
Are you kidding me?
I didn't know that.
The only way I got past is I said I didn't want to do it again.
Yeah.
I was already, I started to headline improvs with nothing no TV credits nothing and then they were like you want a showcase for Mitsy I'm like now I'm all right wow yeah
and I tell you I think I broke the record actually for just time I'm not
sure but it's definitely top five you're the only you're the only person I'll
say these two things you're the only person I've seen just go I'm the only person I've seen just go the only one I'm the the the the the only the only the the only the only th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi the only thi th. the only the only th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I th. I'm I'm I'm thi the the the the the the the only the only the the only the the the the the the the the the the now. I don't want to do this that. Remember in the main room that one time? And I, you tell me things that I didn't know.
I didn't know that you can do.
So I'm sitting there, no rules, man.
It was a, it was a bad show.
The crowd was bad.
It was really, I'm getting off stage and then someone can I think Nick user came replace you and then I was like hey is everything cool you're
like yeah I just I just don't need this right now and I said I said you can do
that and you go yeah I just did yeah I was like oh like it was almost like in
the matrix like you can go to the video game it's like oh you can go in that other room for sure dude like the way the way I look I look th I I I I I I I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th th th th th th th th th th th th th that th th that th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the I the the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th is the the the the the to to the the to to the to the the the th. It's the only art form I can think of,
where the audience is equal to you in terms of creating the final product.
Like if I'm in a band, if I'm going to play,
you're all, it's, imagine you're an actor, but the audience is your scene partner.
The audience has just as much creative control over the final outcome as we do. Oh, God, that's scary, it's terrifying.
Right, because I always say this, I go, the audience gets the show they deserve.
They get the show they deserve. And there's a point where like every once in a while,
I'll run into the audience that needs to hug the most, but it's always the audience
that deserves at as a comedian. That's such a great look. Yeah, I'm just tripping on everything that he's saying right now. I honestly view myself as like a, a healer.
Kind of.
I think that's too strong of a word.
I just try to be a therapist?
I don't know.
I guess it's not comedy. It's kind of like, I want to be the friend, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, to be, to be, the, to be, to be, to be, the, to be, to be, the, to, to, the, to, to, to, to, to, to, the, to, the, the, the, the, the, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, thi, thi, thi. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I'm, th. I'm, th. I'm, thi. I'm, thr. I'm, thro. I'm, to. I'm, to. I'm, to. I'm, to. I'm to. I'm tha. I'm that's thi. I that's th needs it, this town. And I think you get, if you get good at putting LA audiences
in a good mood, when you get out into the world,
it's a much easier job, but they need it just as bad.
They need it to, like, I don't actually.
They just want to laugh, like they're there for entertainment. Right, and then I'm like, ah, I don't want to just make them to feel their a a their to just, I to just, I to just, I to just, I to just, I to just, I to just, I to just, I to just, I to just, I to just, I to just, I to just, I to just, I to just, to just, to, to, th.. to to just, thi, thi, thi, thi, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, their, their, their, th. th. th. th. th. th. to, th.. th. to, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thr, th. thr, thr, thr, thr, thr. thr. thr. thr. the. the. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. the. the. the. them laugh. I want to get them to feel better about themselves and feel better about life. Well, like, I remember that's really what I'm trying to do. I ran a show. We're on hiatus. We need to find a new place.
I ran a show. We're on hiatus right now but called Palapalza and it would be a stand.
the stand up. A stand up. the stand. tha. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. tha. tha. tha. tta. tta. tta. tta. tta. tha. tha. tta. tta. tha. tha. tta. tta. tta. tta. tta. tta. tta. tta. tta. tta. tta. tta. tta. tta. tta. tta. tta. tta. t. t. t. t. t. t. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I t. I t. I t. I tod toda. toda. toda. today. today. today. today. today. today. today. today. today. today. today. today and they kind of pushed us out gave us a midweek spot and we said no. I do it at my buddy's art gallery. Where is it at? It's down on the like edge of Korean town,
downtown? Is it a cool spot? So cool. Yeah, we'll talk about that. And I remember, I would always
call Sam I say, hey Sam I say, hey Sam, do you back then. And you said, oh, my buddy Steve Simone, and you gave me his number.
I was like, oh, is he good?
He's like, dude, he's the best.
So I went and I'm, when I'm running a show,
because I was hosting the show,
running the show, them performing on the last team, I don't really like, like, I don't really, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, is, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, to, I, to, I, to, I, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, I, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, and you're like you're just talking about like I think that the first part you're like
have you ever seen people that used to be friends haven't seen each other a
while hug like at an airport that you that you told that you told that story
and I was like I was like I can't cry in their you know I'm try I felt a tear rolling and then I looked over at Aaron I grabbed his
forum and he just looked and shook his head and then like that was one of the
best sets I bet that anybody's ever done at at my show and we did it for three
four years and then you and then you talked about the Cholos at the end of
the night and we have to act great and's your if it's your favorite bit I haven't heard you do in a while but the guy that worked out of your gym that was like like
the secret tough guy oh you know what I value I've only told that story like
probably twice on stage murdered because we got to act out these stories so
like we're kind of like connected to them in a way you know what like
what's the basic story hilarious story hilarious because like a hilarious hilarious hilarious hilarious hilarious hilarious the story the story the story hilarious because like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like., the look in your eyes though when you say his part when you're like, I don't even know what would like because you got all psycho is so funny.
Do real story long story short, I worked in a bunch of gyms like his day jobs because they were flexible jobs. I could work out for free.
I like talk to people. And it's like way more positive environment than like probably anywhere else really.
But one of the jobs I worked at Gold's gym in Venice and honestly. The me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me. the me. the me. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Look. Look. Look. Look. Look. Look, th. Look, th. Look, th. Look, th. Look, th. Look, the. Look, the. Look, like, the l. Look, the l' the l' to to the le le le. the. the. the. th. th. one of the jobs I worked at Gold's Gym in Venice and honestly the Mecca right yeah the Mecca I just wanted to meet Hulk Hogan that was
I was like eight he was like hanging him back in a gold brother I'm like I'll go
make a minimum wage if I get to shake Hulk Oh God at one point that I met I met
I met I met I met I met Hulk Hogan I met Rick Fl. I was like, I remember once, there was all the big shots, corporate big shots, and I interrupted their meeting.
I was like, guys, no fooling.
Rick Flair's here.
Can I give him free t-shirts?
Oh, it's amazing.
The best.
So I got to meet everybody.
That's the spot.
The number one spot, these action heroes. I met Van Dam there. Lou Fregno broke my balls there once. It's like
the best. Really? Yeah. What's it like to get your balls broken by a deaf guy? Dude, it was
probably maybe, because he goes like this, I was doing this exercise called, they're called,
I think they're called Turkish Get-Ups or something, where you just like have this dumbbell, you're like, thii. thi. thi, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. Like one of my CrossFit MMA buddies showed it to me, I'm like, why am I doing this?
I'm a comedian, and it was such lightweight and it was crippling me.
And then as I'm walking out of the gym, the same time, like the Michael Jackson beat
it video with two groups of people coming together at the same time and he holds the door up him from and he goes, that was an awfully light dumbbell to be kicking your ass like that.
He said that? That's amazing, man. Yes. And then I just gave him a look like I didn't know what to say.
I was like happy and hurt at the same time that he got, and then he went, I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. Nice intensity. I was like, the incredible. the know, I was always like the... I never heard that.
That part wasn't in the story, too.
Oh, that's a dip.
Well, that's not.
The story you're talking about is when there.
There was a lunatic that came in there.
All the time or one time.
This one time. the gym one way or another. They do. Oh, crazy. It's like. There's buff homeless people.
There were there.
Shredded.
That's all he got time for is working about outlaws.
There was outlaws.
There was FBI agents.
Like everybody worked out there.
Everybody.
And one day this guy came in who was a monstrous.
He was gigantic, like, probably six, five. Like like, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. I. that's. that's. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was....................................................................... or just shredded. Like NFL lineman big.
Okay.
But with crazy eyes and before the giant beard was cool, he had that and he had that.
You know when somebody has a crazy voice?
Oh yeah.
And he was like, I will slap your face.
He honestly sounded like that.
Like he wants to put the lotion in the basket.
Dude, that's what I'm not, he sounded. He the, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. frightening. Wild Bill. So I'll cut to the chase.
We got time.
We got an hour.
We got an hour, dude.
It's all you.
Okay, so this is what happened.
How about China after that?
Whatever.
So this guy walks in and right away you feel it.
I don't care what anybody says you feel stuff. And I'm like the th th th th, I th th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I'm th, I'm th, I'm th, I'm th, I'm that, I'm to that, we the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, we, we, we, we, we, we, we the the the, we the the, we got the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. We, that, that, that, to. We're to. We're too. We got, we're too. We got too. We got too. We got to too. We got to to that is a problem. So then, uh, the guy I'm working with Newham,
or knew of him because he's gotten kicked out of other gyms. So then, I don't want to go
into too many details because I don't like telling it. But I had it running with him,
where he's looking at me and he was like, oh, he was like, he was like, you know, I'm like, all right, take it easy, brother, you know, I tell it,
whatever. And he was like, what are you smiling for?
I gotta slap that smirk off your face.
I was like, oh my god.
First of, bro, I got shook.
Like, I haven't been that scared since I've been like 12.
Like that bully scared, three o'clock high, buddy rebel. And immediately, as I felt his energy, immediately I'm going, this dude's
tall, am I far enough, am I out of his, I'm behind the counter, mind, but I'm still
going, am I, with that, I wanted to control the distance, you know what I mean? Just don't be close enough for this guy to hit me. thii. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin. th. thin. thin. thin. thin. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm, th. I'm, th. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I's. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I's. I's. I's. I's. I'm, th. I'm, th. I'm, th. I'm, th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. to hit me. And then my buddy that knew this dude calmed him down. So I come to work a couple days later,
and I guess this dude had gotten arrested.
He had gotten arrested at the gym for starting a problem.
Now, like I said, probably hundreds, if not maybe a thousand people
work out at that gym every day.
It's so busy.
But it was like my job that's hey be the nice guy behind the calendar. So there was one dude that used to come in who was about my size but very fit like if I was in
shape like fighting shape yeah like I want to know your size like I'm like 5-8-190
this dude was probably 165 170 but shredded but super happy like hey how's it they took like a college gymnast like one of those guys like they told me he was like the dude. the the the the the the the the the th. th. the th. the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the. the. to the. the. the. the. the. the. the of those guys. Like they told me he was like the dude holding up a cheerleader like I could see that. Right, right.
Because he had like great energy but like did not come off as a tough guy.
It's my spunky. Yeah. But he did talk like this.
Yeah. And I've noticed when I interact like with people that have seen a lot of darkness in their life. They, um, they they he had like, he had like, he had like, he had like, he had like, he they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they to to they'd like like like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to they they they to they they they they to they to to they they to to to to to to to to to to their their darkness in their life, they tend
to keep themselves calm by the way they regulate their breathing and the tone of their voice.
Like if you ever like sit down with like a dude that's like a tier one operator,
generally if they're not joking around laughing, they're usually like, yes, thank you, yes, sir,
okay. All right, so we you, yes sir, okay.
All right, so we'll execute everybody in there. You know what I mean? Like, so this guy I should have picked up on that because he would always, hey, Steve, oh, well, you have a great day too.
Thank you very much, one of those guys, right? So, it's a couple days later, I'm doing an impression behind the counter, like, I will slap your face, right now. But it's like, Steve, you're the king.
Like, I was like 30, and I was working out
with like 18-year-old kids.
I mean, behind the counter, make a minimum wage, like,
that's like, that's so funny, man.
that's like, I'm like, I'm like, I thrown, like, I thirty, I thirty, I thirty, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, thirty, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th.. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thing. It's like, they're like, old man, you know, I'm like, sometimes I'm like, these guys need to fucking, you know, I'm like,
they're 22.
Dude, you have the energy and the, and the look and everything of their age.
You're a different 35, okay?
Yeah, totally different.
Do you understand what I'm saying? fucking years. Fung Chow's 32, but... Dude, don't worry about anything. We worry about everything.
The age thing is just nuts, dude.
It's, we're talking about our age of them, but go on.
I'm just gonna say, I like being old because of the peace of mind that comes with it.
And dude, there's no pressure.
There's no pressure. No pressure.
No pressure. No pressure. The light. the max do you know what I'm saying like you want to have fun you want to do but there's no pressure like do we got to go out we got bang those chicks
bro got a raise fucking raise my scorecard you know
really bummed out yes stevo came on last week and he kind of like mentioned
that he's like it he just bummed about getting older you know what I mean
it's a blessing I think it's a but he his problem is his a problem is that he he this his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his problem his his problem his problem his problem his problem his problem his problem his problem his problem his problem his problem his problem his problem his problem his problem. this. this problem his problem his problem his problem. this problem. this problem. this problem. this problem. this problem. this problem. this problem. this problem his his his his problem his problem his problem his problem. this problem his problem his problem. this problem. this problem his problem. this problem. this problem. this problem. this. this problem. this
that he lives such an insane life. Yeah.
That like, it was like you just can't live that life forever and it's maybe slow down for him
and he doesn't look at it as much of a blessing.
You need to switch gears and go into a different album in your, you know, of your life.
You know what eventually I think, and I've said this on different podcasts and I don't want to preach or whatever. Preach on ours. We preach all the tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. tho. tho. tho. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. thi. thi. thi. to theeeeeeeeeea. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. tho. tho. on ours. We preach all the time. We prefer it.
Get on a soapbox, what I believe.
God damn so much.
There's no way you're going to have that peace of mind or find happiness if you're only
living for yourself.
No matter how great to circumstances of your life are, if you're only concerned about
you, you're going to be a prisoner of your own everything, but I think one of the great things about getting older is realizing it's not all about you man
Be cool take care of other people. There's so many people that need
Your presence in their life even if it's just a smile that that's what you live for and you start to forget that you're even in soon as you forget yourself and you're too busy? You're too busy? I'm impacting other people. thrown. thi. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. took. tha. took. took. took. took. took. took. took. took. took. took. took. took. took. tak. tak. tak. tak. tak. tak. tak. tak. tak. tak. tak. tak. tak. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. that's where the peace of mind comes from. John Appetow said something that was, I mean, he really, really connected with everybody
the other night.
He was on and he goes, you know, it's safe to say I'm rich.
I don't know if you guys have heard him do this pit, but he was like, I'm really, really,
really rich.
I've got stupid money. And he goes, I'm told, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, to, to, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, I, it, it, it, I, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's, it goes, he goes, because what happens is, and it was such a magic moment, I was like,
I was just listening, because I, you know,
I've talked to you a lot on the phones,
if I struggle with that, I want to be famous,
I want to be rich and I think that it's gonna say,
I know it's gonna save me and stuff like that. over to Russia. Now you're in Russia. You're like, wow, this looks kind of like America. And you said, and you have a meal in Russia. And then you go, okay, I want to go home now.
And he goes, do you know what I do most of the time? He goes, I sit in my room and listen to music?
Like I did when I was 18. 15, yeah. And then he goes, he goes, you know what really feels good. When you really have to take a shit and you go to a restaurant and you're like, oh my god, they just clean this restaurant.
I'm the first one to use it.
He goes, that feels better than the million I have in the bank flying on planes.
And then he goes, when someone's riding your ass in traffic and you're able to do a move and pinch them out completely and keep going. He goes, that feels better thi. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, that, that, that, that, that, that, thi, that, their, that, tho, tho, tho, tho, their their their tho, their tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, th feels th feels th feels th feels th feels th feels th feels th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, that, that, that, that, thi, thi, thi, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, thi. that, thi. that, thi. that, that did like rebiates it. It was so funny though. He was like I've realized that to man I've really realized that you know when I was young I think you and I both struggle with that
We both are kind of coming. You know dude. I'm in a weird place and people think I'm crazy
I when I look back in my life and even as a young man doing comedy my goal was never to be the tho the tho the tho the the the that that that that that that that that that that that that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. thin. thin thin thin th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin thin thin thin that. that. that. that. that. that. that. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. th. th. the th. to to to the the th. to the th. the th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. to be able to make a good living
Doing what I like to do more than the thought of being in
An Amy Schumer's place or anything like that like the guy I'm jealous of and jealous in that, you know, I think the world of him is more Joe Rogan Because Joe Rogan does anything he wants to do. He does anything he wants to do. And what is nothing that he does is predicated on ratings? I want to do this? He? He? He? He? He? He? He? He? He? He. He. He? He. He? He to do? He to do? He to do? He to do? to do. He to do? to do. He does? to do? th. th. th. th. to do is do is do is do is do is do. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the. the. tho. the. tho. tho. the. tho. the. does anything he wants to do. Yeah, and what is nothing that he does is predicated on ratings I want to do this he does this to the best of his like how does he have that?
It's the greatest thing about gonna stand that. How does he have that much freedom? We all do. I don't realize when you always think of it. You know so that's where I'm kind of I'm at the rating the rating the rating. the rating. the rating. the rating. the rating. the rating. the rating. the rating. the rating. the rating. the rating. the rating. the rating. the rating. the rating. the rating. the rating. the rating. the rating. the rating. the rating. the rating. the rating. I. the rating. the rating. the rating. the rating. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I that's. I. I. I. I that's. I. I. I that's. I. I. I. I th. I. I. I th. I. I th. I. I. I. I. I th. I. I. th. I. I. I. th. I. th. I. I. I. th. I. I. I. I. th. I th. th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. he. I he. I he. ing out of my life. I never auditioned, dude. And I am now pitching stuff where I just want to pitch.
I don't want to audition.
I'm going to write myself in the rolls.
Absolutely.
And that's how if I get on TV, that's how it's going to be.
It's, I can't go.
It's just a job.
Right. It's it. Yeah. And then to think that... I tell this to young people, when I first started doing, I tell all these guys this young guys, I go,
you want to get all this shit, but the truththink you were there, but Paul Mooney pulls the side and goes,
guys, the most fun you're ever gonna have in comedy is right now.
When you are just running around, telling jokes,
chasing tale, getting a free drink ticket, and you're just doing comedy,
because you fucking love it.
When the money starts coming in, everybody.. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the most, the most, the most, the most, the most, the most, the most, the most, the most, the most, the most, the most, the most, the most, the most, the most, the most, the most, the most, the most, the most, the most, the most, the most, th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the money starts coming in, everybody starts popping off at different levels
and all that stuff.
You never see your friends anymore.
You're always on the road.
That's not when, when you start making money off your passion,
it becomes business and less passion.
And it's just the truth, man.
So it's like it changes the game.
It's like Biggie Small said, more money, more problems. It's just the truth, dude.
Also, we cut you off of that story, too.
So that guy-
Yeah, we could bring him back whenever you want.
Yeah, yeah, let's bring him back.
Oh, so long story short, this guy comes in,
and he's like, the guy talking like this,
and he goes, Steve, I heard you he was like, I understand the gentleman was arrested and apprehended, but that doesn't mean he won't come back.
And I'm like, oh yeah, good point. I never thought of that.
Yeah. Because here I am clowning, but condom, right?
And it was like, in the event that the gentleman shows up again, what I want you to do, theyme. the the gentleman shows up. What I, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, and I th, and I th, and I that, and I'm, and I'm, and I that, that, and I'm, and I'm, that, and I'm, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, but, but, that, that, but, that, that, that doesn't that's, that's that's, that's, that's, that's, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, excuse to leave, just say, I have to get some water from the back or I need to
go check on something.
He was like, and then once you're out of harm's way, obviously, call the police, make
sure that they're notified the authorities.
And then if I happen to be on the gym floor, just pop out the back door and come get me. And I was like this.
I was like, okay man.
Like I'm like in my brain.
I'm going, oh, thank you.
You know, like when a little kid's like I'm helping.
You're like, yes, you are.
Yeah.
I'm like, thank you.
And he picked up on it right an.
And he's like, you know what I do, right? And I'm like, no, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. than, thi, thi, than, thi, thi, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th. I'm, th. I'm, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. I'm, th. I'm, th. I'm, th. I'm, thi, thi, I'm, thi, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I do, right?
And I'm like, no man, you're, let's just say his name's Billy.
You're just Billy from the gym.
You're Bill from the gym.
Yeah, and he was like, yeah, yeah, and he was like, nobody ever told you what I do?
And I'm like, no, and then his, even, then he dropped, like, he's like,
he thi, thi. And then he he he he he he he he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. tho, thi, thi, tho, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. You, th. You're just, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, to thi, thi, to thi. You, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thi, thi, thi, thi, you really are the nicest guy ever. He was like, you don't know what I do and you're this nice.
And then he looked at me and he goes,
you are nice to everybody.
And I'm like, what do you do, dude?
And then he was like this, he was like,
I'm a lifelong martial artist.
I teach close quarters combat to a tier one special forces at John F. Kennedy Special Warfare College down. I teach the teams down in San Diego.
I actually have a boot camp where we incorporate combatives and jiu-and-crow the highlights
of everything just just for kill strikes and I was like, wow? I was like, oh yeah, oh, my god.
He's like, he started like he had been like his whole life.
Yeah, but his whole life like, yeah, oh yeah, there's some great things the
Gracies you're doing with their with their grappling.
But then again, if you know if you're in an environment with broken glass and you can't be on the
ground and you're like, well, what are you? I love that. Yeah, he's one of those guys. Yeah, he's one of those guys. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the the guys. the guys. the the guys. the guys. the g. the g. the g. the g. the g. the g. the g. the g. the g. the g. the g. the g. the g. the g. the g. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the the the the the the the g. the g. the g. the g. the g. the g. the g. the g. the g. He's the g. He's the g. He's th. He's th. He's the's the's the's the's the grays. He's the gra's the grays he's the grays he's the gra's the gra's the gra. He's like to know all this and never be able to use it? Oh my God! Oh my God! He was like, uh, I can never really use it in real world situations.
It's like, so he's biting at the bit? Yes! Because I've had another guy told me this too. He was like how human beings pick up.
They know. We just instinct deep down. We get gut feelings. He was like, I'll never instigate, but
Well, if you do want to step outside, we could do that.
Oh, that's scary. Yeah, but soon as people know, that's when they back off.
I've heard that from like three or four guys that were legit tough guys, that like,
soon as the, soon as the bully in the situation knew,
in the situation new, they picked up on it subconsciously like,
hmm, maybe I shouldn't.
So this guy was like, yeah, I would,
I'd love to break both of his kneecaps
before he picked up his hands.
I was like, oh my god.
I love that story.
Yeah, it's a real story.
We get to act out that story.
That's the best, did this guy that was like the badass you'd never be able to pick them out of a crowd.
No, never, never, never, never.
He's a true badass.
True badass.
Yeah, it's like the same like when you see like MMA fighters and stuff there, they're never
started.
It's not the 90s for guys who do the steroids and people in the real stage time aren't really the funniest guys. I mean on state, they're not trying to make everybody laugh.
You get it all out.
Yeah.
It's the guys who aren't getting the stage time.
It's just like, hey, oh, no, no,
just trying to do some stuff.
You know, it's like the guys.
Everybody's like everybody cracks.
You know who's funny. Yes, a guy a guy. They're trying to prove it to himself. Yes. Yes. My buddy used to do that Scott Ross in an elevator
He wasn't getting I was getting stage time. I got really lucky I got pick quick out here
And and and so I was just chill and my buddy couldn't wasn't get safe time so we get in the elevators and he started? He's the true. that's the things loud. thatest bad as I'm the th in th in th in th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin. th. the. the. thin stage in stage in stage in stage in stage in stage in stage in stage in stage in stage in stage in stage in stage in stage in stage in stage in stage in stage in stage in stage. the the the thin. thin. thin. thin. th. I I I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. th. th. th. I was. th. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. I heard the guy on Rogan and Tim Ferris, now he's got his own. His name's Jocko Wilnick. He's like the baddest baddest baddest ass ever. He's a former Navy SEAL
that became like the guy that was in charge of all their training on the West Coast and like
jiu-jitsu practitioner for the last 20 years. Like legit. You look at the like you look at the guy's picture. Like. Like. Like. Like. toughest dude ever but also this nicest guy ever and he
talked about that on one of his podcasts he's like, uh, usually those bullies and bars are just
trying to prove to themselves that they're not afraid. Yeah. And that's what it is. And it's the same thing with comics that don't get staged. Yeah. Maybe I'm not funny. Maybe I'm not funny. th. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. thee. theee. the. the. the. the. thus. the. the. th. th. th. try to constantly prove it. When I was in sober living, I was 28 and most of the guys were from like 20 to 30, 20 to 30,
20 to 35, so we're all like newly sober, kind of out of our minds.
And so they bunk us like it's like cool hand Luke, it's like cool hand Luke. It was just like bunk bed,
have you written about this? It sounds like a great movie. No, who hand Luke? You never seen Paul No, yeah, yeah. Oh, it's so good.
You were doing a play a, oh, it's funny.
No, I didn't know.
It's called Bunkett.
No, so we're all in bunk beds and, you know,
we're all like kind of unthawing from a life of drugs. So everybody's, you know, just wrestling and fighting, you know, just fist fighting, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I, I no, I no, I no, I no, I Aryan Brotherhood. Dear God. Oh I love this story.
Yeah, but no, I've told a bunch of stories about him.
But he ended up being the nicest guy, he was probably 5, 10, 260 pounds of muscle.
Oh my God.
Muscle.
And walked in and was like, hey, everybody were shaved.
I got out of it.
He goes, they're all shaving.. their, their, their, their, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, their, to. toe, to. toe, too, too, he, he, he, he, he, he, he. to. to. too, he. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. He, to. He, he. He. He, he. He. He. He. He. He. He, he. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He, he, he, he, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's. told. told. told. told. told. told. told. told. told. told some charge so they found out he was a drug addict. Swartznaker had this thing
called Saska program so if you're in prison for a long time yeah it was drug
related it was actually a good thing they would unhook you and let you go out
but well he was a he was a bona fide prison guy for life he was bunking on my top bed. I slept like a baby because there was just rules. Like, yeah. There's no conflict.
Never a conflict with him because I didn't want to.
He didn't want to, you know what I mean?
So if you're another gang member, but it was like,
it was like sleeping with a pit bull that was nice.
You lived in a pit bull.
So I felt safe.
theyfelt. that you guys were telling him, but you know, we were all, he would do prison hits from in there. He would send letters, oh, level, all over his face. Swaz' was all over his face. But then one
time I saw him, he was playing and there's a little black kid on his knee and they were both playing
video games like it, because they had to meet the family. So you this guy made it, this guy was more than that.
So you're tattoo in your face, you've made some decisions and life.
So we're all, everybody in the house, eight guys, in this, in this one unit of apartments
that we're all living and were going bonkers fighting and he's, he would, he would
listen to classical music and just, and he had a little Benjamin Franklin's spectacles and he would just sit there. He was, he looked like Mike Tyson, he was white dude, he was just sitting there, just smiling, watching
all of us and we were like body slamming each other and we go, hey, come on in there, come
in and fight with us. He goes, hey, hey, come on, and he had a list. And he was, he thi, and he was, thrown, he's a list. thrown. He's, thi. He's, thi. He's, thi. He's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he was, he's, he's, he's, he's, he was, th. He's, he was, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, th. He's, th. He's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, th. He's, he's, he's, he's, th. He's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he on, come on, and he goes, you guys, I don't talk about it a lot, but I'm on a level four yard, and level four in prison is, it's only violent offenders.
And he goes, there's no fights there, because if there's instantly a problem, we go to shanks.
My God. So if there's like, hey, Steve's taking, he goes, so I don't slapbox and I've been kind
of conditioned, unless you guys have a problem with me, like I don't, I don't want to
engage in this.
Oh my God.
Oh, niceest guy.
They're nicest guy ever.
He would draw me pictures, like he was like, he was like, yeah.
Dude, that's another of those guys are like legitimately tough. They have to balance it out. Oh, and he was scared of mice. He goes, he goes, Steve, wake up and I'm like what?
He goes, there's a mice mouth in there and I go, what do you mean? He goes, it was scattling and fricking and cracking.
And he made his gay? No, he was just so hard he could do. their just flamboyant. they. He. He. He was just. He was just. He. He. He was just. He. He. He was just. He. He. He was just. He was just. He was just. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. th. thi. to. to. to. th. th. He was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was just, he was just, he was just, he was just, he was just. He was just. He was just. He was just. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. th. the. the. the. th. th. the. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S, th. S, thi. S, they. S, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was convinced there's a mouse in the wall, it was just fixated on us protecting that. Isn't that amazing?
Amazing. Dude's balanced it out. They really do. I had a buddy of mine that was a British
Commando who was studying like musical, yeah, he was studying musical theater.
Because he had already, you know, he did, I don't know, 12 years with their teams over there or something ridiculous. And he had all these awesome stories about like their training, they trained in every environment.
They, Arctic, jungles, desert, mountains, everything.
And he would talk about like how he'd get dropped off, like they'd parachute into the jungle.
And then have a compass, and that's it, and have to go meet at a rendezvous point
a month later. So they would have to survive off everything in the jungle and figure out where they were. And he was like, that was my favorite.
I'd get a big beard and eat the bugs
and how they would stab bugs,
just drop him down their throat.
So like just for protein.
But then he played, like, the guy was such a badass.
But then also, so profoundly sensitive. Really? When his grandfather passed, I thu And th. th. thuu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. thi. the. the. tho. tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, the. And, the. And, toe. And, toe. And, toe. And, toe. And, toe. And, toe. And, the. And, they's, the. And, th. And, I remember like helping him through it and then he was like, I wrote a song about the experience
and it was like he had the voice of an angel like, wow. And then Papa, would sit me on his
knee. And I'm like, don't laugh he'll snap your neck. You know, he'd like
the real deal man. I love those characters. I've met so many. Dude I used to work graveyard shift at the Hollywood gym I remember out dude dude if you're squatting on a on on
LaBrea that's a weird zone right there dude I always would go because I worked at
Buffalo Wild Wings around the corner I'd be leaving at three in the morning and I'm like who the fuck is involved with this little scene so that's that's a weirdest place in Hollywood in my opinion I would have there a couple guys there were a th the th f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f the the the th the th th th th th the th th the the the the th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th th th th th th th of of thu thu. thu. thu. theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee of th. tho tho the the th. the th. th a that's the weirdest place in Hollywood in my opinion I would have there were a couple guys that were legitimate bounty hunters that worked out there
No shit bounty hunters what no
No shit that in the morning what else you doing it's a it's a it's a 24 hour gym
Yeah on LaBrea and God the other that it's between sunset in Hollywood on LaBrea it's between it's between sunset and Hollywood. they. the thousand a the the the the the the the the they. they. they. they. they. they. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. to to to the the to to the the the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the thou. the the the. the the. threa, the Cross Street technically is Hawthorne. And for those of you guys who are, you know, obviously most of the people listening are outside
of Hollywood. When you see a postcard, you go, welcome to Hollywood, that's not most of what's
going on here.
Most of what's going on here looks like a really bad part in your city, in your state or wherever you're from. And so you come over to Hollywood where he's, where th, where th, where th, where th, where th, where th, where th, where the th, where th th th th th the th th th th the the th th th th thee the thee the, when the post the, when their to see see see see see see see see their their to see a post to see a post to see a post to see a post their their their their the post the post the post the post the post the post the post the post the post to see see see see see see see see see see see see see see see see see to see to see th, when th, when th, when th, when th, when th, when th, when th, when th. th. th. When th. When thee, when the, when the, when their the. thease thee, to they. to thee, they. they. they. the postcies. It's, it's, it's the weirdest place in the world.
It's just a weird, everybody's kind of in transit wanting something desperate.
There, you, if you said hi to somebody walking by on the street, it was like, seen a Peeherman,
when he's in an alley, you'd, they would hiss back at you.
You like, hey, it's a weird spot. It's got a lot better but it used to just be drug dealers on bikes and stuff and
LA LA is crazy but what because there's I just want to say it's really it's there it's so many different vibes like
there's whatever you want it to be yeah well do you know it's like I've been to Tampa I've been to Miami. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tttttttoda. today. today. they. the the the they. the the the the the I've been to Tampa, I've been to Miami, I've been in New York,
I've been at Vegas.
All those cities, there's a part of LA that plays like that.
You know what I'm saying?
Like, there are, like, Vegas is like, like, Vegas is like, you do your vices for the love the weird shit out here that that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, th...... I, th. I, th. I, I, I, I, I, I's, I's, I's, I's, I'm, I'm th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. the, I'm the, I've to, I've to, I've to, I've to, I've the, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I, I, I, I................................ I, I, I, I, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, I's, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the. the. the. the. the. the. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, ices for the love of the game like you can find the weird shit out here that Vegas doesn't have at all
Vegas is how can we tax this and make a dollar office? It's a business. It's a business in here. There's just a lot of what I don't
There's a lot of sadness. There's a lot of people that need that hug and that's why I'm so grateful for doing comedy because there's something about comedy number one you get to heal people in th th th th th th th th th th. the the th. the their their their their their th. their their their th. their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. theus theus. theus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus th is th is th is th. th is th is th is th is th is th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their their their th. th. th. the the the the their their the their their the the that that the the that the the the the the the the that need that hug and that's why I'm so grateful for doing comedy because there's something about comedy number one you get to heal people in that moment, right?
When they're laughing, they're not thinking about their problems.
That's magical.
But I wonder if you, I think one of the coolest, I think one, the guard drops. Yeah. Because they're just like, oh, this guy gets it. Or I really think that when I say I'm a comedian,
they no longer see me, they see the version
of whatever they believe a comedian to be.
Like, if they're a Mitch Hedberg fan,
they think I do that. That's 100% true. They're automatically, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, th. They're like, th. They're like, th. T, th. T, th. T, th. T, th. T, they're like, th. T, they're they're that. T, that. T, they're, they're, they're, that. They're, that, that, tho, tho, tho, tho, the, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're th. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. thr. thr. they're thr. thr. thrue. thr. thrue. thr. thr. thrue. thrue. thrue. they're they're, well, like, and they're fascinated by it, and they like it. You know, I'm so grateful for that.
I never thought about that.
That is 100% true.
People will, what do you do?
I'm a comedian, like, oh, hey, what's up?
Yeah, it's amazing.
You know, it's so great. events for cops and usually I'll get out of whatever ticket they're about the ride. But I always tell them I'm a comic and they're just like, okay, you're not a serious person.
Just look, you're not a wret.
Yeah.
It happens all the time.
I've told, I've told jokes multiple to get out of tickets.
I saw you and Skippy Simon both do it. jokes in the front seat we got let off or whatever we were doing. I was with the comic tool remain nameless and we're getting ready for like a long
roadship we're gonna go out for a while and soon as we get into Arizona
we get pulled over and he just goes like this he goes I'm going to jail I'm
like what he was like I don't have a driver's license I was like what? So because like I'm like a nerd you know and the too the the the the the the the th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. to th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to told. I told. I told. I told. told. told. told. told. told. the the the the told. the the told. the the told. told. to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to nerd, you know and the cop recognized them and was just like dude be careful like love them and don't be stupid.
Don't be stupid. Don't be stupid. Uh, I want to talk about your recent international travels. Yeah, man. You have you've done I think twice. I've done it twice now too, but I've had longer spans between the two things, but you recently went to China to do stand up. to to to to stand up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the the to to the to their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. to to to to to to to to to their th. their to to to to to to don. don. don. don. don. don. don. don. Don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't. Don. Don. Don. th. th. th. th. Don. Don. Don. Don. Don. Don. Don. Don. Don. Don. Don. th. Don. th. Don. th. the th. the the the the the t. te. tp. tp. Don't. don't. don't don't don't to don't don't to don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don went to China to do stand-up. Yeah it was awesome. It's awesome now I had I had done stand-up with
in China with Steve Byrne like eight ten years ago. Wow where'd you guys go?
We went Shanghai, Beijing and it was a different experience than this last time I went
and I'm not lying to you Netflix has changed the game. The internet has changed the game. How so? Because they get they they they they they they they they they they they they th th they get th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th that that that that that that that thi tho. tho. tho. tho. th. tho. tho. I tho. I tho. I tho. I tho. I tho. I tho. I tho. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi thi thi the. I the the the the the theeea. I've thea thea thea thea thoooooo. I had the the has changed the game the internet has changed the game
How so because they get all my references back then
Those people were out there for a while when I went like eight ten years ago. They didn't get all the current pop culture
Ex Pats yes yes yes yes they didn't pop culture American pop culture no because
Netflix was around the internet wasn't what it is now interesting now? Now it's the, they get, I mean, even though the government kind of like controls a lot
of stuff, you get, well, what you can do now is there's, uh, the VPNs, which blocked
the government control.
Really?
And you can get your, all the websites you wanted before.
That's crazy man. People don't realize. I have no concept of that. I've been
born and raised in LA and have not traveled barely at all. I love it. I love it. I'm trying to
get back to Australia. They keep wanting to give me dates and then it falls through. But Australia's
great. Dude, you'd love Australia. I saw a lot of podcast listeners down under Canada. Canada is my favorite place. I did do. I love it. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I'm. I'm. I'm. th. I'm. th. I'm. th. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I. I'm. I. I. I'm. I'm t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. try. t. try. to. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. dude. I love it. People are so kind.
If it wasn't so cold, I would live in Toronto.
Toronto's a great city, man.
But I would have to get American Sports Center.
That's literally the only thing that Canada's missing.
In Toronto's right over the border.
Dude, it's right there.
I love it.
Torno in the summer is one of the places ever. It is San Francisco with fuckable people.
I say it all the time.
It's like, whoa, you're intellectual.
You get everything and I'd bone the fucking shit out of you,
dude.
Oh, there's a lot of hot girls up there.
Oh, dude, Canadian girls have like happiness in their eyes.
Yeah, it's real. And they're so hot and they're so th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that. that. th. tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. the. the. the. the. th went to China, I had a great time, how was your experience recently?
It was awesome.
But every time, and I will say this, I don't want to sound like some crazy, love it or
leave it, but one of my favorite things about traveling internationally is it really makes
me appreciate America.
100%.
It makes me appreciate everything we put back into a state of gratitude.
Like China was awesome but I started to really talk to everybody and everybody's got to
all the expats are kind of like, this could be the morning I wake up and have to go to the
embassy or try to figure out how fast I can get out of the country.
Really? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, man. Their puppet kindthe fake comedy starting to like really
crash now do you know what happened dude and it will get into some of your
stories American companies would go there build factories and then the
Chinese would just rip off all their technology and sell all their
shit yeah all the intellectual property so they're like software
we can't hold here you've got to stop this government's like we're not
stopping anything they're like, okay. Well guess what we're doing now. We're bullying out all of our
So this is happening now? Yeah. How long has this been happening for forever? That's what this new trade agreement? How long have we been saying, okay, we're gonna leave there? Well, you know what I think that's a relative, I don't look. I'm a moron. I'm a comedian. I t, I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. this. this. th. this. this. this. this this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this this this this this this this. this this this this this. this. this this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this this this I try to stay ignorant to a lot of things on purpose to stay happy.
But I think a lot of the business climate change sort of political to,
I think that's relative, like I think from the anecdotal evidence that I was presented with
through very casual conversations where I was not seeking this information and I did not ask more about it.
But it seems as if, from a few of the people that I spoke with,
that there was a point where partnerships seemed much more sustainable.
But they kind of feel like they were duped into believing that there'd be long-term partnerships
when it was just a play to have access to intellectual property and how to do it.
And now that they feel like they know how to be capitalists and they know your secrets,
they don't need you anymore.
And I'm painting with a very broad brush.
That's a very negative thing to say.
I don't know anything officially.
I had a great time doing the shows there.
I want to go back.
The people were incredible, incredible, but there's something going on there. That you picked up on, your spiny sense.
There's something weird here.
It's like, in the Godfather too, right when they're in Cuba?
100% so.
I felt like Michael Corleon in Cuba.
I did.
Yeah, yeah, there are a few little weird things.
He's like, Mr. Roth when he jumped on the bomb. Yes.
I'll know I have a partner.
Oh, Hyman Roth's my favorite.
Hyman.
I want a poster of Iron Roth, but I don't know if that will bring in too much darkness to my
apartment.
But I love the problem.
Him with him.
He's the tu.
too.
. sandwiches and turning up the college football game. I was talking business. I love sports. Yeah, the greatest.
He's the best.
Adorable.
I love him.
This is the life that we chose.
And whenever I want to give up comedy, I think of that quote.
I go, this is the life that we chose.
Because it wasn't business.
Yeah, it's all. That's the th is is was, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. the the the thi. thi. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's thi. It's thi. thi. thi. ti. too. too. too. too. th Green. I love Mo Green.
Oh great.
Every time I get a massage, I think about Mo Green getting shot through his eye.
I want to start, all right.
Well, I'm not going to talk about it.
Why?
Come on.
You want to start beef with Sam?
No, no, no, just the opposite.
It's just interesting how our culture embraces the wrong stuff. Yeah, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. I. I. I. to. to. to. to. th. th. th. th. th. to. th. th. th. to. to. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. I'm. I'm. I'm. I. I. Like we're like, dude, that guy's a gangster. He doesn't take any crap. It's like, how about, that guy's a saint. He doesn't give anybody any. Yeah. And I think, and I really
think that's what we have to start embracing. Like people like, that dude don't give a
eh. And it's like, maybe we should start caring more. Because look her, look at our families, there's no more economy. there. And there. There's, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, th. And there, th. And th. And th. And thi, thi, thi, th. And I's, th. And I's, th. And I's, th. And I's, th. And I's, th. And I, th. And I, th. And I, th. And I, th. And I, th. And I, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, thi, thi, th. And, thi, thi. And, th. And, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. And I this point, like, ugh. Yeah, it is interesting why do we worship darkness?
The dark, and like in terms of dating too, it's like,
I'm working on this bit right now about how women always ask me for dating advice,
but they never want to listen to me.
And it's always about this, it's always this bad boy with a big dick.
And I'm like, it's not gonna work out.
And they're just, I gotta make it work.
And the romantic fucking kamikazes.
And they never, until it's too late.
I'm attracted to that.
And you and I have talked a lot.
Yeah, they just don't want to listen to me.
You know what I think it is people look. People. to, people. to, people. to, people. to, people. to, people. to, people. to, people. to, people. to, people. to to to the the to the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their, people. the, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their. their, their, their, their. their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their. their romantic. their romantic. their romantic, their romantic, their romantic, their, their romantic, their, their, their. their. their. their. their. the be happy. Why? I don't think I think mental problems and I think a part
of it is the culture in which we look to consumerism, the materialism, we're
bombarded every I don't watch TV really but advertising was telling you that
you're not worthy consistently. Yeah. Because that's what all young people on
television about. The most popular shows have people in their late 30s and 40s on them. Yeah. But all you're that that that that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th that's th th th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is thi thi. thi. thi. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th is th is th is th is th. I I I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi is thi is thi is thi is thi. thi. the is the is te is today. today is today. the. the. the is the is the is the is and 40s on them. But all you're told
about is everything's about young people. If you ever watch a commercial dude
you'll see a mom who's maybe 25 with kids who are like 12 and 14 years old and that's
done specifically so that the mother who has kids who are 12 and 13 14 years old
looks at that mom, looks at those kids,
goes, those kids are my kids' age,
look how good that mom looks, look at how I look.
I need to buy this product, so I'm like that mother.
It is literally that diabolical and that fucking sinister on how they operate.
Yeah, they think of everything. And I think it's made people, it's like they live, but for real.
It's like they really make people feel unhappy. And then when you take that mindset into relationships,
you're not seeking somebody that's going to bring you peace or somebody that you can really build a life
with you. You're, you sort of, like if you, I believe audiences get to shows they deserve, and I believe people create the life they feel they deserve........ th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the th. their, their, their, their, their, their, they really, they're, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it. It's their, it. It's their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their their their their their their their their they're really really really really really really they's like, they're really really really really really, it's like, they're really really really, it's like, it's like, it's like, their shows they deserve, and I believe people create the life they feel they deserve.
And that is true.
And you really have to make better choices.
You have to be aware of what's going on.
Well, I just feel like I was a bad person in the first half of my life.
And now- You're a hurting person.
You're sick person.
You're not a bad person. Like how I behave I was I was an animal I was an animal to yeah, but I but see my my point is
People that behave that way are hurting. Yeah, and that's how you're seeking and then you're creating the life
You feel that you deserve well now now like when you talk about thea?
their toughs. they needed when they were three and people cared about them and asked them about to them, they wouldn't be in prison now, man. Like I hate to sound like some Joe Hippy, but...
No, you could do whatever you want on this podcast.
Yeah, this is great.
You know what I mean?
You know what I mean?
You know what I mean?
I believe, people.
A hugge goes a long way.
Look, I am love and hugs solve everything. You got, you know what man? I believe that for sure.
I believe that no matter what it is, it's the truth.
It's the truth.
That's the truth.
For all of those people, all of the life's problems,
come down to your ability to give love. I feel like I'm unlovable like in a relationship and I have to get over that, bro.
I feel like I'm like for the first half of my life how I behaved. I don't deserve to have a good life right now.
Like I'm working. You have to. That's what that's what the voice.
That's that's the problem. I went to the. I want to just. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I to. I th. I feel. I feel. I feel. I feel. I feel. I feel like. I feel like. I feel like. I feel like. I feel like. I feel like, I feel like, I feel like, I feel like, I feel like, I feel like, I feel like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, like, like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, th. th. th. th. the, th. th. the, the, like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm working nonstop. And so I'm like, you know, I went to the outlet stores. And I bought like nice clothes.
That's awesome.
Yeah, like, I spent like a lot of money on really nice clothes for the next two years, right?
I was like, I need, I'm on stage all the time, I need some nice to.
I went toing to my brother on the phone and each purchase some you know, look at these, I mean just nice shit. So cool. Cool shit.
Like this. Sneakers. Sneakers. Sneakers. Sneakers sneakers. Sneakers. Sneak. Sneak. You're just sneakers.
Sneak. Sneak. the sneakers. You're just down fucking what you're talking about. You're like, oh, I know why you said it, because you just want to be mean.
No.
I'm just trying to show you love, bro.
No, I'm good.
Oh, wow.
Okay.
And that's how wars start right there.
And that's how the fuck up. I was just telling it shut up get out get out of my head And every like nice experience. I was like ooh I want that jacket's like you don't deserve it. It's just this overwhelming thoub's like? It's just this over? It's not welcome anymore. It's got to go. Yeah, well, you know what? What you're at least acknowledging it's? Oh? At at least at. at. at. at. the least the least the least the least the least the least the least the least the least the least the least the least the least the least th? th? the least th? the th. th. th. th. the the th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that. that the the that the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. the the th. the the the the th. the the th. the the th. the the the the the the the the the the they. they. they. they. they. they. they. the they. the the the thi. th. th like, yeah, that'd be nice. And they keep on moving. You go, wait, why don't I.
Let me be jealous when someone else has it.
Yeah.
You know, it's so interesting?
I did a really great show the other day.
And I completely judged.
A guy asked to do a charity event for Armenians.
And I'm going all the time. You said that you love doing them. I well I like doing charity events because I like I like to help people. I don't like
performing in them because I have this misconception that crowds are like
when I started and they all judged me because I was really honest on stage
and back then it was all about being you know fan like a TV clean and, you know, it's observational stuff.
Like what Seinfeld's doing, and Seinfeld is great because that is Seinfeld.
Correct. But I was not Seinfeld.
And I wanted to be honest on stage and I got, everyone saw me as a super filthy comic.
People always said I was trying to shock people. I always just try to be 100% honest on stage. So I have this perception that these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, the, the, throud, throud, throud, throud, throud, throud, throuds, throuds, throuds, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thi, thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, thi, thi, thi, th shock people. I always just try to be 100% honest on stage. So I have this perception that these these crowds are,
they're gonna come in judging me.
But this crowd was like magical.
Like I opened up, it was for an elementary school.
So it was all parents.
And I opened up with a Coke joke and the place exploded like midway in like a midway into the show laugh
opening the show and I'm like this is a good crowd and I just started sleep
boom boom boom and everybody went up and just went boom boom boom and I was
like this is a magical crossing have you have you guys ever seen this
comic name tomar tomar tomar Tamar, Tamar, Tamar. Sounds familiar.
The guy who, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Tomar Catan.
He's very cool.
He annihilated.
Yeah, very good guy.
I like him.
And he annihilated.
It was so fun to watch because, you know, I have two reactions to funny people.
He's like a person.
I get scared first. I get scared and then I want, I need them in my life. That's how I go with everybody.
That's how I feel.
Oh, I say, God, this guy's a gunslinger.
I need to be friends with this guns.
That's how I am, yeah.
Because you could go either one of two ways and you see people who see somebody scares
them and their first reaction is, I have dude, this guy, and you know, one of the first people I did with it was Steve Byrne and then Bert Kreischer.
Bert Kreischer scared me when I first saw him.
So I'm like, I have to tell this guy scares me.
And I need to be his friend.
Yeah, it's awesome.
That's awesome.
That's why I was doing it.
Gennie. right? So Tracy Morgan used to tell me Don recognized Don. Yeah, so you do that? That's fine. We sit so after show I was talking I'm like, man,
I'm seeing you. You were so funny. It was great. He's talking about how his
therapists had come to a show. And he goes, he'd watch his act. And he was
like, dude, you are amazing. He goes, you don't understand. You are talking to dogs, I don't want to say dogs, they're like sheep on leashes.
The crowd is the sheep's on leashes and you are completely free.
You're a tiger and you're saying whatever the fuck you want.
And it's so true, man.
You know, it's like when you're on stage there's just a super freedom of doing comedy that some people don't understand in the audience,
you know, because they're told you don't say this, don't say this, don't say this, don't say this,
don't say this, don't say this, don't say this, and you're like, I'm going to say this,
why did I still start telling this story?
It had something to come up. You were talking about your shoes. Where did it go? And I got my feelings
worth, yeah, and being worthy of happiness. I'm embarrassed by that moment still. Why?
Why? Well, I thought you were attacking my shoes. No, you were saying the audience was, you thought
the audience was going to attack you at the charity. Yeah, yeah, that's what it is I love you dude. I love you guys. I've watched you for so long and it's just like fun to see somebody
who grind it for these kids don't get it. Everybody wants to quit. I'm like just get past.
I'm not I want to I want to I want to but you are a legit monster. Oh, thanks. Would you please for I mean just as just as a fan, tell that story in the main room, the Gold's
Jim story?
Yeah, sure.
Dude, that's my number one favorite story.
I'm trying to get into that and I realize, you know, what, stories?
Yeah, but like, the best.
Yeah, but like, the best. the best, the story is, but thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. T. th. T. th. T. th. T. that. T. T. T. T. T, that, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, th. th. th. th. th. T. T. th. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. the. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the, the. the. the, the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. th felony almost. That's like, I think they're funny. There are, but I've also realized that I've been running so hard to just to
create comedy and to work in the industry of writing every, like I meet every day when
I'm not doing podcast, I mean with three different groups every day writing three
different projects. You know what's him, that's exhausting though.
This what I'm starting to realize that. I I I I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I can th. I can th. I can't th. I can't th. I can't th. I can't th. I can't th. I can't thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi thi thi. I've thi. I've thi thi thi thi. I've thi thi thi thi thi th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thee. theea thea thea thea thea thea thea thea thea thea the exhausting though. This is what I'm starting to realize. There's only so much you can do.
I'm starting to realize that.
I can't say no to people.
Yeah, you got it.
Okay.
This is what you have to do.
Sam.
We're so similar.
That's why we probably been friends. How does this, I find myself in the same situation over, over, over and over again. Remember Tim McGraw and Nelly had that smash hit of the early 2000.
Oh, tremendous.
Where is Nelly?
It was Nelly and Tim McGraw's the duets.
Oh, I'm so good.
If you're out there, we love you.
In fact, I'm going to listento put some joy into the world, there's a version of Stuck on You,
where Lionel Richie sings it with Hoody,
from Hoody and the Blowfish.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
Oh, my God.
There's no reason ever be in a bad mood.
Yeah, really?
Yeah, because Lionel Hoody kills it. Yeah, they're good
vibe. Dude, what were we talking about? What is being crazy today? Oh, no.
Can I, can the story? I would just want to say, treat yourself as good as you treat other people? I'll just want to say no. to try, treat to to to to to to their, to to to their, their, their, to, their, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the. the. the, the, theat, t. tod, today, today, today, today, today, today, t, t, t, t, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, tod Yeah, that was my New Year's resolution. I started to treat myself as good as I would treat somebody else.
And it's still very difficult for me to do that. But you have to because you're going to wind up having nothing left to give.
And creatively, you're not going to be a great stand-up, a great script. Think of all the full-time jobs. the podcast is a full-time job. See it, yeah. If you got to to to to to the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi th. thi thi thi thi that that that threat, threat, threat, threat, threat, threat, threat, threat, threat threat threat threat threat threat, threat, threat, threat, threat, threat, threat. threat. threat. threat. threat. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. the the the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the. thi thi thi. thi. thi. is a full-time job. See it where, yeah. If you got paid for this
today, if you were a morning radio guy, you'd be making millions of dollars a year doing the
same thing. Yeah, yeah. Stand up comedy. Booking all this stuff, keeping all your personal
assistant work, we have to do. Writing. Yeah. You just talked about cutting auditions out
because there's not enough time for everything. And I don't enjoy them.
We stuff to live our lives.
We still have to live our lives.
We still have to find time to read a book, to watch something on tip, to decompress, to cook
your meals, to clean your house. And that's the stuff I always, like, if you were to walk into my apartment now, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, we's, we's, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we stuff, we stuff, we stuff, we stuff, we stuff, we stuff, we stuff, we stuff, we stuff, we stuff, we stuff, we stuff, we stuff, we stuff, we stuff, we's, we stuff, we's, we's, we's, we's, we's, we's, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to stuff, to stuff, to, to stuff, to, to to, to to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to fold a dirty plate on the table. Like I have to get all that stuff together. I'm because I'm leaving for the road again on Thursday. Yeah, I don't. I'm starting to get to, I hate to say but I don't need to be going up every night.
I don't. I never did. No, I don't either. Three times a week. I'm cool. You do it when you need to develop. I am who I am who I am who I am who I am who I am to to I am to I am to I am to I'm happy. I'm happy. I'm happy. I'm happy. I'm happy. I'm happy. I'm happy. I'm happy. I'm happy. I'm happy. I'm happy. I'm happy. I'm happy. I'm happy. I'm starting. I'm starting. I'm starting. I'm starting. I'm starting. I'm starting. I'm starting. I'm starting. I'm starting. I'm starting. I'm to get to get to get to get. I'm to get. I'm to get. I'm to get. I'm starting. I'm to get. I'm starting. I'm starting. I'm starting. I'm to get. I'm starting. I'm to get. I'm starting. I'm to get. I'm to get. I'm starting. I'm starting. I'm starting. I'm starting. I'm starting. I'm starting. I'm starting. I'm starting. I'm starting. I'm starting. I'm starting. I'm starting. I'm starting. I'm starting. I'm starting. I'm starting. I'm starting. I'm starting. I'm starting. I'm starting. I'm starting. I'm starting. I'm starting. I'd be up every night I'd get it tight I'd be doing it but right now
I think I think having fun experiences like I'm gonna do potluck tonight
I'm not trying any I'm not trying any jokes I'm gonna talk about this this
this resort that I went to and like and like just just the weird stuff to the to resorown I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I the the to to th th th th th th th th th the I the the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to to to the to'm just gonna talk about that for three four minutes and I'm out you know. That's what I did for years at the comedy store.
I was like, nah, I'm just gonna go up there and connect.
That's that's what I want to do.
That's what I'm trying to do.
You told me to you. Because I've told me, you know, I've really to to told, told, I've called, I've, I've, I've, I, I, I, I, I, I, to, I, I, I, I, to, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, you, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, t.... t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. th. that's, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, addictions like and I've called you and you've really like you really help me so much and
you know one story about not giving up that you told me I think it's the will you tell the people who are listening
that the Ranger story about like they're there they're that's that's the most amazing thing that's ever come out of your Oh you know what I was just thinking about that today would you would you would you would you would you would you would you you you you you you you you tell you tell you would you tell tell tell tell tell tell tell tell tell tell tell tell tell that tell that that tell today would tod that tell the the today. tell today. today. would toda. would toda. would toda. would tod tod tod the tod the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. the their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. tell th. tell tell th. tell tell tell tell tell today. tell today. today. today. today. today. th. th. th. Yeah, because yeah, I am number one I do believe in heroes and I have so many heroes and I find inspiration in so many people and one of it
A huge like anytime I get asked to do something for our military I say yes me too, dude
Because those guys they're legit. They're they're real life heroes like yesterday. I was honored. I did a charity event the name of the organization is our
OUR Operation Underground Railroad and it's all these badass dudes that go and rescue kids from sex. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. their th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. I th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi. I thi. thi. thi. thi. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. I tha. I And it's all these badass dudes that go and rescue kids from sex slavery.
No shit.
Whoa, hold on.
Can you talk about this a little more?
Because you did a charity event for them?
Yes.
I mean, like, if you ever get need anybody ask me to do it.
I want to tell you my sex slavery.
Because just 2 million people in slavery right now. It's the large, I think it's the most the world's ever seen.
And you have these guys that have these skills like Liam Neeson and Taken, and they're
going, and they're rescuing these kids.
Where are they going to help them?
I'll help them do anything, dude.
Yeah, I try to help people and it just was it was
just like it was they were so poorly ran. Yeah this was a good event it was through
Cal State Fullerton I'd love to help there's like some awesome professor down
there this is what the professor told his kids told his students because
the girl he was like pick a charity because this is this is what success he said don't thi thiims of how much money you make, how big your house
is or how fast your car is.
He was like, that's not success.
He goes, success is the positive impact you have on somebody else's life.
And I was like, oh my god, this professor, I wish somebody told me that in college.
That's beautiful.
So these kids found this charity, Operation Underground Railroad.
Yep.
All right, I'm gonna look at it.
Where these guys going and they rescue these people?
They pose as bad guys and then they rescue the kids.
Wow, like they come, like get at it, come with me.
Do you guys know?
Because my friend Joe Barton, I'm sure. favorite people. You know, a lot of women get kidnapped out of Southern California. Really? Because everybody wants white American girls.
So they, like in the Middle East, orange count. Yeah. Dude, I have a friend of mine who.
Oh my, that's, that's horrifying. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What a. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's out there. Oh. It's out there. Oh, okay. So we got to support the people. th. th. th. th. the. the. th. the. th. the. the. the. th. the. th. the. the. the. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah........................................................................................................................................... Oh, okay. So we got to support the people that stop it. And some of these guys, like, so whenever I can do the USO,
whatever I can for the military.
And because like a child, I go, wait,
I get to like go entertain the X-Men.
Like, I really feel like these people are superheroes.
And it's not just because of the from the military, especially people that have excelled in the
military, that didn't have this unbelievable team spirit, altruistic spirit.
Like those guys leave the military, then they come out and they just continue to make the
world a better place, like amazing people.
So sometimes when I do have the time to read, all my books are usually about pro wrestling
God or military.
One of the books I read was about the Delta Force.
And these guys are legit superheroes.
Like stuff that Batman can't do,
these guys can legitimately do.
And the story I told you about not giving up
was about their Rangers?
No, it was Delta guys.
It was about their selection process and how long of a process it is. And how brutal of a process it is. Where I, and the, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, and th, th, th, th, and th, th, thi, thi, and thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi thi thi theeea thea thea thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, th about their selection process and how long of a process as it is, and how brutal of a process it is.
Where I believe, and I'm getting the details wrong, but the message is this.
They go through, I don't know, how many months of training.
Hell.
Hell, legitimately hell.
And that last week, there's no sleep at all.
And they're doing all these tasks.
And one. and they're doing all these tasks and one of the things is like, I don't know, like a hundred mile rock through the woods, like through the mountains with BAPAT, all that stuff, but they don't
know how they're being, they're all, they're being evaluated, but they don't know how they're being evaluated. And it's similar to my buddy that was the commander, they give you a rendezvous. And th, and then, and then, and then, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and they, they, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, they, but, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, they're they're they're, they're, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, but, but, but, they, but, they, they, but, they, but, they're, but, they're, they. But, but, they're, but, but, but, they're, but, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're they're they're they're they're they're they're, they're, but, but, but, they're, these guys, not everybody made it, so many people gave up along the way. Most people gave up.
Oh, yeah, I think their attrition rate.
I think it's something like, let's say if a hundred guys try out for it, maybe two make
it.
It's unbelievable.
Yeah.
You show up at that.
the final destination.
Yeah, so many people give up the movie comes out, the open mics are flooded and then who stays. Right, yeah, that's it. Everything's like that.
Dude, no matter who you are, man, no matter what you want.
Backdraft came out, everybody want to be a fireman.
You know, until they're like, oh wow, I've got to go into burning buildings and
there's no music playing.
Dude, my buddy that's. the rendezvous point and they're told, wow, congratulations.
You did it.
Unfortunately, here, and like they give you a blanket and their feet are bleeding.
Like one guy literally left the soles of his feet in his boots.
They, you're cold, they give you a plan, and they like, hey man, we're out there
looking for you.
We didn't think you were going to make it. This is, I can't, we're, we're, we're so, we're so, we're so thankful, we're so thankful, we're out there looking for you. We didn't think you were going to make it.
This is, I can't, we're so thankful that you're alive, but that's the good news.
The bad news, unfortunately, we were timing you.
And you didn't make it in the amount of time that is necessary to be a member of this elite
group.
But we're so impressed with what you've done. Do you think you could start over again? Do the whole process, the whole months and months of over again.
And most of the guys would, a significant portion after they made it through everything.
And then they're told, and then they're told no.
They didn't say how many guys said no that they couldn't do it. But if you said no, you didn't make the team, tha, tha, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, that, that, that, that, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, their, their, tho, their, tho, their, their, their, their, tho, tho, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. th th th th th th th tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. And, th th th th thooooo. And, th th th th th they couldn't do it again. But if you said no, you didn't make the team.
If you said, yeah, I'm willing to do it,
they're like, okay, congratulations, you're on the team.
Oh, that was one last test.
Was one last test.
Will you go through any legs?
Yeah, well, you go through any legs?
And that's great. Congratulations you now you're now a regular here. Yeah whatever I will the next time I'll bring snacks.
Yeah, yeah, I do hang out with you guys. It's great pot. I do I do to their
too. I do you. I do a podcast go good times. That's great. It's self-help through nostalgia. My website's my website's awesome Steve. You just shush you me? No, oh yeah, I'm just kind of like doing this. And it's a. st. st. st. st. st. st. st. to. to. to. to. to. to. S. to. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. I. I. I. I the. I the the to. I to. I the the the the the to. I do. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I th. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I dothis and it's at Steve Simone on Twitter awesome Steve.com's the website
Awesome, Steve on Facebook. Yeah, and then like Steve Simone
Something that I always say to you is I always say hey reach out to me if you have a problem
Are they able to reach out of course? Of course our fans like a lot of the people who listen? to international bad boys like I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I always th. I always th. I always th. I always th. I always th. I always th. I always always always always always always th. I always I always I always I always I always I always I always I always I always I always I always I always I always I always I always I always I always I always I'm I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I always I always I th. I always I always I always I always I th. I always I always I always th. I always th. I always th. I always th. I always th. I always th. I always th. I always th. I always th. I always th. I always th. I always th. I always th. I always th. th. th. I always th. I always th. I always th. I always th. I always th. I always th. I always th. I always th. I always they private message me, I go to Steve Simone. I've been, hey, and listen, guys, I have to keep checking my other box in Facebook?
Did you know that there's an other box in Facebook? No. Yeah, all the weirdest emails messages.
Dude, you go to it, you're going to see people who love you? You go, dude, what's up? to me? their, that. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the, to, the, the, to, their, the, the, their, the, the, the, to, to, the, the, the, the, the, the, I, I, the, I, I, I have, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I. I, I, I. I. I, I. I, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to, to, to, to, to, I have, I have spam box okay you go go yeah you just gotta go I'll show you it's a there's a second one and it's like people offering you gigs
people like eating help I always had a crush on you yeah I guess I'm gonna
go I just saw this I don't deserve it box like you like I don't deserve it box
like you weren't ready to hear that it like like hey do you to the to 2011 you'll see stuff from 2010 and 11 and like hey
I've always liked you like I yeah crazy stuff well guys but can I just plug my plug anything
you want um Stephen Randolph Stee v E N R A N R A N D O L P H two that's on Twitter and Instagram
Stephen Randolph on Facebook I'll add anybody I'll talk to anybody please add me I'm also gonna be on crab feast it's already recorded it drops tomorrow so I so so so so so I so I so I that I that I that I that I I I I I I I I I I I I I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that's that's that's that's that's that's th. I th. I th. I that's that's that's that's th. I th. I'm that's that's that's that's I that's that's I that's I that's that's I that's I that's that's I that's that's that's I that's I that's I th. th. th. I's I's I th. I's I's I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I'm I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm Please add me. I'm also going to be on Crabfeast. It's already recorded. It drops tomorrow So I love that podcast. I had I had a blast man. I went all out level 10 I don't know how it's gonna be perceived. to be perceived great. Why don't you put some fucking negativity on it? Not negativity at all just just wonder and question mark. I have all these stories you've told does anyone ever go dude. Steve. to. to. the to. the the the the the the to. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the Bion twice and they love it. So it's all good.
Yeah, support, support Crab Feast tomorrow.
I think it's All Things Comedy.
Yep, All Things Comedy tomorrow at what time?
You know?
I don't know, whatever.
Whatever, I'm just finding it,
it's crap.
Awesome.
Well, guys, it once, that we go.
I have a meeting with Comedy Central
because I sold a digital series.
Yeah!
I don't wanna get into, I like, the reason I'm saying this
is because I was so far away from everything,
so like a year ago, I was so far away.
I've just like I couldn't get sober.
I was just doing a lot of crazy shit, I shot myself in the foot a thousand fucking times and the only reason I'm telling everybody this is
because there are people who do listen to this and they're all like oh fuck
what's going on what am I going to do in my life and it's just like if you
get out of your own what it's really amazing when you stop shooting yourself in the foot how easy it is to walk thi it is the the th. th. th. th. th. th. It is th. It is thi it is the the thi it is thi the thi thi the thi thi thi the the thi thi thi the. It's the the. It's their their their their their their their the only their the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only their the only the only the only their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the. I the is the is the is the an thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooes. their own the only only only only only one their their their the foot how easy it is to walk to your dreams you know I'm saying it really is true dude I love that that was that's really that's a I needed
to hear that I needed to hear that I had it's just the truth man if you
get out of your own way you know the biggest thing is like do you think
it's possible like I've been doing a lot I've been talking a lot of things they don't know. A lot of people don't know what they want to do.
They don't know, like, I want to get sober.
Okay, so what do you want to do?
Like, I don't know.
It's like, you never jump in your car if you don't know where your destination is.
How many people jump in their car and just drive around?
Nobody.
I think we all have dreams. dreams but like we're afraid to believe that they can come true so it's like well I want to start my own restaurant but that's crazy like like well
that's your dream do it man yeah yeah so my point is think big it's free and
you know go big well congratulations bro you work your ass off you work that's a huge huge huge deal thank I'm very excited an thi so thi thi thi thii thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi they thi thi thi thi the the the they thi the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the the the the the the the the thi the the thi the the the thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th with that Steve this was that story you
told both you guys told great stories and it was a great podcast and we need
to hear it and shout out to donut time. Oh donut time and our sponsors donut
time located on Highland and Santa Monica Bovars home of the Bear Claw
if I can't find it ask the traranny hookers where it is. Get your 10% off, mention the bad boys. We can't guarantee you that, but guys,
listen to it, we love you.
Steve Simone, you're one of my favorite people.
We'll talk to you guys soon.
Great, great, we'll talk to you guys.
I hope you guys enjoy Jim Florentine
and the John Hucked double episodes. Bye.