Tin Foil Hat With Sam Tripoli - Tin Foil Hat #56: Joey Diaz and The Death Of Bruce Lee
Episode Date: December 19, 2017Welcome to another insane episode of Tin Foil Hat with Sam Tripoli. This episode, Sam and Ryan welcome comedy juggernaut Joey Diaz to the show. Joey and the boys talk about....... 1)The Church of What...'s Happening Now and Lee Syatt 2) Magical Mushrooms 3)James Brown 4) Saint Lazarus 5) Karate in the 70's 6) The Chinese Connection 7) The Death of Bruce Lee 8) Santeria
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Oh shit.
Fuck conspiracies.
I don't give a fuck who killed Kennedy.
I don't give a fuck about Martians.
I don't give a fuck about the moon. Star Trek can suck my dick and so can Star Wars. I got the weed that killed fucking
the chick from Star Wars and her mother. It ain't happening today. It's Joey Diaz on the Tinfoil
Hat podcast. Ripping it up, motherfuckers. Grab your cock, we're going deep with who killed Bruce Lee.
Yeah!
Mother fucking Joey Diaz live!
I'm Tim Fall Hat. We are deep in the bunker.
We are here on a very special show.
I am super excited to have you on.
Me too. You've been my home boy for 17 years.
You know, we just had some good talks right now about all of our crazy friends and we're happy to have you on here man.
You were like is this a conspiracy podcast? It is a spiritual skepticism
podcast that we like to talk about all the crazy stuff that's going on man.
And I love you very much. I've watched you go from this fucking
crazy ass dude at comedy store doing blow at Dublin's Stealing Chicks Blow eating her butt and taking off and being
banned for life and just this guy that's fucking got one of the best
podcasts out there dude we all love the church of what happened and now we love you
we we we we we we actually have some guys here Juan de Nero
it's got a little bit of a gift for the homeboy.
Got a gift for you.
Gotta do it right, Uncle Joey.
For those listening, let them know what you're seeing inside that box.
Right now, it's just a fucking string.
Yeah.
All right, he bolted it.
Oh shit.
Oh shit.
We're going deep here.
This is the shit that killed the chick from Star Wars. This is the shit that kills the mother.
Prime shit, dude.
Oh shit.
This is the best.
Wandernaro and his lovely lady picked this shit themselves.
You grew it, it'll grow it.
They grew it, dude.
It's from Humble.
And this will be perfect now that they're cutting the percentages down January 1st. Oh shit, look at this fire. So much dude. That's some
award-winning cannabis cup right there too. Oh shit and what the fuck are these
goodies. Those things are called penis envy mushrooms. Oh my god. Not your
normal golden caps. Poor fucking Lee. Oh my god. We love you jelly.
Thank you brother. Thank you brother. We're so honored to have you here in the bunker. Oh, you know Joey tomorrow thank you brother.
Merry Christmas.
We're so honored to have you here in the bunker homeowner.
You know, I'm fucking happy to be here, so you know.
Uh, Joey Diaz, one of the...
Is there a card in here or something?
You gotta put a card in here or something.
So I'll write that down. We're right on the top so we can't thin thin thin thin thin thin thin to to to thin thin to thin thin to thin thin thin' to to thin' thin' thin' thin' to thin' to have tho tho tho tho tho to have tho tho tho tho tho tho tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho tho tho tho their tho to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have th. tho. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. Oh. tho. Oh. tho. thought they were conspiracy theorists. He looks like a conspiracy theor. He does.
And she looks like an actress somewhere.
So I thought you were like part of a TV show and you were here to talk about.
These are my friends.
You show up with the fucking stick of Dynamite.
This is the shit ISIS uses.
They just put a fuse on this and put it under a fucking bridge. For those who don't know, Joey Joey th jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo. the the the the the the the the the the th th th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I I I I I I I I I th. th. th. th. th. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I. th. I I. I. I. I. I. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. I th. th. th. it is called the Church What Happening Now, and
it's got a wonderful sidekick Lee, Lee Saat, and uh...
Yeah, I feel like Lee is my brother that I've never met.
As much as I love you, Uncle Joey.
I fucking love Lee with all my heart.
I love Lee.
the great kid.
Dude, I don't know who's more lucky.
to hang out with you. to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to to to to to to to thi. Li. Li. to to to to to th. th. th. Lee. Lee. Lee. Lee. Lee. Lee. Lee. Lee. Lee. th. Lee. Lee. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. th. thi. thi. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to tie. to tie. tie. thi. thi. thi. both of us, he's a fucking true. How did you guys get together by the way? On the internet.
He hit me up and asked me for a job.
He said, I wanted to see if you wanted to need any videos cut or something.
I had done Gabriel's show and he gave me a camera.
So you know what, why not? I'll give you a hundred bucks a to thak a thua thuuuuic thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thu. thu. thu. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. to to to to to to to to to to to to to the road and that's how we started. He's a sweet kid, you know, he's just a sweet, sweet kid.
Dude, that's a good deal, honey, sweet, hoek, oh boy, that's a good one.
I tell you right now, you know I love you Sam.
But if Uncle Joey told me to, I would stab you in the neck,
I would kick Aaron in the chest and I would burn this whole fucking, you're a... get it, I'll choke you the fuck out. He tried to stab me. This is a savage here.
Yeah, one of the funniest things I've ever heard was this inter- if you don't know the
church of what happens now, you have to hear this thing.
But this quick interaction.
Episode 531 with Wheeler Walker Jr.? This is the funniest thing. If you guys want to try getting those microphones listen back on my door telling me of the IRS I home geodes. I'm too old to do federal time right now. I got that type of fucking cash to have where you're going up there dropping off envelopes and playing checkers with me. Things get bad. I got a pimpley in there. B. I'm their their their. B. B. B. B. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm the their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm too. I. I'm too. I'm too. I'm too. I'm too. I'm too. I'm too. I'm too. I'm too. I'm too. I'm too. I'm too. I'm too. I'm too. I'm too. I'm too. I'm to tell them all with you the stories. Why am I in there now?
You pick a bullet for your Uncle Joey, you know that.
I'm not going in prison.
He's going in and you're going in with him.
You're not taking in there, but you're coming once a week.
I have a guy you you, I get 500,
promising me asshole then we're at a moment
they had with a stick.
Three hundred's, he's not in mouth.
What, the feel his balls?
Yeah, especially not for like a hand-jury.
It's not a hand job. You're gonna sit on the man's lap.
I'll just chiggle his balls to his jeans. That's so weird. Why is it weird? I don't even know how you do that physically.
Is he like fully undressed and he like he's Santa?
You'll tell you how cute you on the rub your head.
He'll probably kiss you on the lips once or twice.
Oh, you sound like, this actually sounds like fun, man.
I know how you're gonna get a mixed with his jeans until you can't he he he he then you'll stick his hand down his pants and there'll be like $400 bills you pull it out. You kiss him on the cheek, you tell me
you love him and let him rub your head. He'll try to tou touk your dick, you hit his hand,
you tell him that needs more money and that to call you if he with a small 750 you know what I'm saying like we'll work and we'll keep my welcome I get three little fucking pedophiles will love to play with you talk
about podcasting and yeah it's talking about yelp with them and shit
the importance of yelp when they got in a prison to choose a good restaurant you know I'm
I mean I never been a good not to do sex acts but to touch an old man's balls. What's the difference? What are you talking about? Just a si' guy's lap and touches balls?
You sound like you have any experience doing this.
No, I'll pimp anybody out.
You know me.
Listen, I'll call charging $3.50, you get $2.
And an inmate comes up to me and says, Joey, how much of a cute little Jew? I'll ask him, what do you want to do?
I want everything around the world.
I don't listen, my Jew that would be a good guy.
What I'll let you do is, I'll have a things passed out and you can't jerk off on his
butt cheek.
He's a guru on his butt sack.
That's as far as he goes. He goes really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really. He would would would would would would would he. He would would would he the the the to the the to the to to the to to to to to to thoom. He goes. He's to to to to to to to to to thoomomom. He goes to yoga three times a day.
He's a guru, you can't tell by looking at his body.
I could buy a car when he was a kid.
I would get three buoys, he's a doggy, but he's all right.
I would get three bills.
I would get seven fifty feet of a bend over, hold your ankles.
And from three feet away from the towow his hands, just throw the come at your ass.
That's it.
I'm up to it when your ass is white, you can hug him and tell you to love it and that's
it.
That's terrible.
Seven 50, two of those a day, that's 1,500.
Five days a week.
That's a lot of fucking. 15,000 every two weeks that's 30,000 a month. No sex. Brendan over and guys.
What do we call it? What's the website?
I love you to turn it. No website. How do we market it? This is an imaginary character in case I ever went to prison and things got bad.
We have to do things. But if an old Jew inmate comes up to me and says listen your friend he's kind of cute. Can we work some out and make him shave him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him their him th him th him th him. He, he's kind of cute. Can we work so much? You make him shave his beard and wear a militant suit.
Listen for the small 350, I found it a little fucking new,
but you can't go sex.
Because, listen, listen, I'm not enough to do what you're talking.
No, no, no, 350 to bend over.
And have a guy do that is disgust. No, no, no, no, the other one, the other one, the other one, the other one, the other. The other. the other. the other. the the the the the the the the the th. the th. thi. thi. I's. I's. I's. th. I's. th. th. th. thi. I's. I's. I'm th. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th watch TV for a half hour. I'm not touching his balls.
Listen, you're not touching his balls.
You're looking the other way, your balance is going to go.
You're just going to grab his balls by mistake to pull you back up.
And if it was giving a smile and they believe you watch the baseball game.
Everybody loves baseball.
Is the awards for segment of the year?
That would fucking win it. That would most definitely. You tormently, I fucking love it.
I like that you turned him halfway through. He's like, what are we going to call it?
Like, he's on board. He's on board. He's always on board.
He's always on board. Oh, damn. Oh, man. Last night told me how to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go. to go. to to to how to go to Japan because we were going to run a black market operation.
So I wait through he gets high and then I start tormenting him little by little.
So I told him tomorrow at 4 o'clock he's got to meet the Colombian at 430 to pick up some Coke and he kept up
some Coke and he kept saying I can't pick up the off. So then I went on with the fucking Japanese people that were starting to black market reef
and we're taking 5,000 stars to Japan.
And he's got to pick up the money there.
He's got to go to Israel and pick up the money
there's gonna be a wire transit from the Japs.
They're gonna send it renewed this week.
How do you know when he's at the right moment?
How do you know he's there?
I throw some, I'm an only child.
So I can have a good time by myself.
I know how to have a parade in my head by myself.
So I just throw something out there and wait for him to catch it.
And then I go attack it. When Eddie asked what was wrong with Joe Rogan, I told Eddie that Joe got accosted by
the CIA.
And he's like, what are you talking about?
I'm like, whenever you talk to John the phone, don't you hear the phone click?
Right there, that was a crucial moment in the conversation.
Because if he says no, I don't have him, but if it said yes, I knew I had him. So I just kept pounding him with Joe Rogan and the CIA.
He's getting followed.
When you go do the podcast, look at the pole, there's a camera up there.
You know, then I got the guy from my block with the cop car to come to the store, I gave
him a yardstick.
I told him the corner, there's a cop car. Shut up! Yes I did, and I go, I listened to all your conversations.
This went on for like a year.
I kept toying with him.
And then finally, after a year I got on the plane with Joe,
and Joe, you know, comes on with his bag of vitamins.
You know, he lands on the CIA and I'm fucking howling because it was me who put in his head for a year.
Johnny Appleseed.
Oh, I just just kept, you just keep every once in a while I just throw it in there and
let them fucking, just plant the seed and let it just go in their head and it's all over.
So fun, you and I have, you know, it's so funny, we both used to do coke at the comedy store but we did at different times. I feel like I did it maybe after you or you did it or I think a lot of my coke time was
when you decided to take a little break from the store.
When I left something for you guys.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because I get the early, you gotta get the coke, you gotta get the quarter of eight,
they. No, I used to go to El Compodion, I used to have to beat out Lindsay Lowhand. Because Lindsay started going at like 8.15 and she would clean fucking Nacho out.
She would clean them out.
I'd get that 9 o'clock notch, where's my package?
And he'd go, Lindsay, I don't know.
I don't know, I don't know what I'd to snort.
to about 9. So I had to start to start to start to start to start to start to start their to start their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin, thin, th 715 to get my package. I don't know what I want to snort till about 9.
Yeah right. About 9 I'm maybe an 8 ball tonight you don't know so I have to go
to him get like a light gram just to see what the fuck was going on and I had
another it was crazy I had a bunch of competitors then somebody found out I wait for Nacho in one of his little cartel people to come up from
Whittier and bring another package. I was never going to do the package. I was never bought.
I never bought. Never bought from Nacho. There were guys who are hanging out the
store. I don't see coke there. I don't see coke there. I don't they don't show me where the coke is I just don't see it I think these chicks are all business chicks now I don't see the
crazy girls I can't you know the running around doing the blow getting
fucking weird with everybody anymore those days are done I every no
they're around we're just aged out ever since narcos came back cocaine's not gonna
come back good for so you just celebrated a big 10-year anniversary.
Ten-year anniversary.
From doing Coke.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's awesome.
That's crazy.
What was it?
What made you stop?
Fucking jolts in my spine.
I was getting jolts at like fucking four in the morning at the end of the coke.
Just a lot of things.
It was just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just a the the the the the the the the the Coke, just a lot of things. It just wasn't the jolt. It was just time to quit. It was just time to quit. But like every other addict, you can't see yourself over
that fence. You like, I can't imagine a day. Because if I didn't have it by 8 o'clock
at night, my bones would start hurting. You are every day. Five days a week pretty much and I couldn't wait to go on the fucking road because see at home you gotta be cool. You gotta be business. Yeah you gotta be
business. Once you got the call for the road that was it and I'd alert the media
let them know I was coming I had my own little Colombian show up Thursday night I
had my towns where you already knew people all you had to do was tell them be there and they were there so going the the the the the the their their their to to to to to to to to to they to to to they to to they to their to their to to to to to do to do to do their to do to do their to their to their to to to to to to their to to to to to to to to to to to to be to be to be to be their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their tooe. their their their their their to do was tell them, be there at 8 and they were there. So going on the road was my big fiend because nobody was around.
What was the best Coke town in the US?
Houston, Texas.
Dude, I was just in Houston.
Goddam.
the best, but I love black strippers, too.
El Paso was the place that I'd lose my fucking mind.
Right over the border people people people there's no scales you buy a
gram of coke it's done by eye you know and they give you like a pound that
looks good enough okay yeah sixty dollars okay and meanwhile you're in a room
for three fucking days three days watching porn making bad decisions
well we wanted to show you this I don't know if you've seen this interview
this is from 1988 it's a CNN interview with the one and only, the godfather of soul, James Brown.
Oh, I saw this one.
Yeah, yeah, this is crazy.
So if those who haven't, here you go, man.
And it's gold.
Oh, turn up that.
Oh, it's the sound.
Assaulting his wife with a lead pipe and firing a gun. These are charges that Brown denies. He was released yesterday on $15,000 bond. He joins us from Atlanta to discuss the charges.
And we welcome you, James Brown.
How did all of this trouble begin?
Living in America.
There's nothing wrong at all.
Nothing wrong at all.
You're not in any difficulty, but you're out on bond.
No, I'm not.
Have all the charges been dropped?
Yeah I'm out of love. Are you out on love or out of love? Out on love. Out of love.
I long from night to night you find me? Now James this isn't the first time you and your wife have had a problem.
All the two of you are going to be able to work this out? Let's talk about some music. You want to talk about music and you the the to talk to talk to talk the to talk to talk to to their their to their to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their too their their their to to to to too too too too too too to be to be to be to be. their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. I. I. their. their. their. their. their. their. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. t you going to be able to work this out? Let's talk about some music. You want to talk about music and you don't want to talk about what happened?
No, that's all over.
Well, let's talk about your tour.
When are you leaving?
We're leaving tomorrow.
And where are you going to be going to be that's James. Aren't you concerned about that? I know what you're asking you, you know, the Kenamucci. No. I'm, I'm concerned because there's nothing wrong.
And what do you just say your fans when they ask you some questions about it?
I'm gonna say, I feel good.
I was gonna leave it a brand new bag. It's a man's world.
Well, that's the second time we've heard that in two days. That's very easy. Now don't leave us, James. You stay right there. We have to talk about. Well, tell us a little bit about what you're
going to be doing on this tour. What are you going to be doing on this tour? I'm going to be
doing. their poppies got a brand new bag and living in America. Sex machine, get up good. Jam! James I have to ask you one serious question here I've
understand you already have started divorce proceedings does that mean that
you're now eligible? I'm not yes I'm singing I want a mingle. You want a
mingle. Yeah now the women love you when you get out there why do you think
that is what did you say the women love you when you get out there
why is that ladies? Well I'm asking you. Huh? Because I look good. You look good. I feel good. And you sing
good. And make love good. Oh. Well, there we are. We don't have to ask anybody else. We got that from
the source. Ah! Now you're involved in publishing a gospel magazine.
Tell us a little bit about that.
The second coming.
It's, uh, it's out of August of Georgia's ankle.
Joseph P. Young is the editor and James Viner one of the advisors.
And we're doing a fantastic job.
The second coming.
It features on this week, I think we have the pull welling
glasses out I believe though the William the Williams brothers and last and
next we will have Reverend out of shopping I think on the cover for sure
and we'll be doing a lot a lot of good things and hopefully we'll get brother Ted Tano on the
cover Ted what you at James we want to thank you for having, for being with
us today. Wait a minute, I forgot you. Oh, is there something where you want to say that
we haven't covered? Yeah, I want to say not a thing. Okay, go ahead. I love you. I love
everybody. I feel good. It sounds to me as though you're not troubled by any of this at all. This is a man's world! Thanks for reminding us of that. Every once in a while we forget.
Oh, we remember it again.
James, good luck on your tour.
Thanks for being with us.
I guess we're going to hear lots more.
Afloo-Wego.
Do you think he was blown out or what?
Do you think that was Coke, PC?
What?
That's a fucking long night out. Or got up early into the nabbal
Yeah, oh he just got up like a five you ever get up at five you can't sleep
You're like fuck I still got that eight ball in the freezer
Fuck it fuck it
I ain't got nothing on the books anyway. Yeah, I'm about to go to the fucking real why not get That is crazy with this little OJ gloves on wiping shit. Can you imagine like th? th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thu thu thu thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thi that that's that's that's tho tho tho tho tho- tho- tho- thus. thus. thus. thus. thus. thus. thus. thus. thus. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi that's that's that's that's that that that that the the the the the the thea'' theea' thea' thea' thea' thea' imagine, like, that was a good idea to do that interview,
gacked out of your skull?
So the first thing I'm gonna do is I'm gonna take a picture of those mushrooms
and put it on Twitter and put, Lee is dead.
And let him see this at six o'clock tonight.
This is for Lee for tomorrow night. He won't sleep today. th understand me? But those mushrooms, they look dirty.
They got cow shit on them. They can't taste good. So I had to wait for them to dry, grind
them down and put in his bung and I made him smoke him. And I told him after the fact, I go, you know,
those are mushrooms. Oh my god. And the one that was hearing things. Those are penis envies. Those are supposed to be three times more powerful than normal mushrooms.
Oh yeah, he's dead.
Let's take a picture of those.
Why you take a picture of, let's get a little girl about Joey Diaz in case they didn't know,
his background.
You wouldn't know by looking at me Joey, but I was raised, I got a real family that's white,
but I was raised by half Mexican and half Cuban. So my brother another mother he's Cuban and his dad is Manny Padilla and he
straight of escaped Cuba back in the late 60s. Here? Here? Yeah. So I grew up here.
I grew up here and my basically I was adopted by this half Cuban half Mexican family.
So Manny Padilla came to America, didn't know English, and he learned it all from listening to soul
music, and the only people that would be his friends were like the blacks in Colorado.
And sure enough, this man has taught me more about life, but I would always ask him like,
why do you when the party starts going, he starts dancing with a white handkerchief?
And they're like, oh, that's the Cuban name is coming out. And today's the th th th th th th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, oh, th, oh, oh, th, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's, that's the Cuban in him is coming out. And today's the December 18th. Yesterday was
December 17th which is St. Lazarus, Big Day. Yeah, so I almost told
trip because of the dog. Big day. So for those that don't know about it, because
it's a comes from Santeria of tradition, right? Yeah, but that's from like a St. Lazzaro is fucking huge in Cuba. Like huge like that's why when michael vick
got sentenced there's a lot of jails you could put them in
because those cubans those old school cubans are in those high level federal jails
and they don't play that shit we're hitting dogs or
oh they love dogs they love dogs because st lazar
that's how they make that promises. When you're Cuban and your hips hurt or you have arthritis,
you dress in purple for a year and you make a promise to San Lazaro.
Then the pain goes away, but don't break my concentration.
Get ready for death, the church tomorrow night.
That's how it starts, guys.
Now we let the weed grow in his brain.
Those, don't look healthy. They got shit on them, I'm telling you right now.
Tell them that some tinfoil hat. This is how it starts. This tweet will destroy him.
Let's see what some of these look like real quick. They're fucking beautiful.
They're beautiful. They're beautiful. Look at that. That's nice, dude.
That's a grown-ass man, shroom right there.
The word about those is that it's from up north and it's one of the last like mushroom growers
that was around when the Grateful Dead.
So these are like, this dude is like...
You can tell these are professional fucking shroomages.
And in the fucking jars too, dude, this is real shit.
Wandaonero takes care of you dog. So yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, the they. Yeah, they. Yeah, they. Yeah, th an th and th and th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. th. th. th. thin, th. than, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thee. that's, that's that's theean. that's the. thean. the. the. th. th. th. th. thero takes care of you, dog. So, um... Yeah, so, dude, it was just a big day.
What have we got here?
You want to talk numchucks and ninja stars, dog?
Yeah, so how'd you first become fascinated with martial arts?
Where was your introduction into it?
I got hit in the head with a lunchbox,
I played hook-and I got hit in the towar with the the the the the the the th the head with a lunchbox in New York City. I played hooky and I got hit in the head with a lunchbox and the thermos broke. They took the, when they hit me in the head with
the lunchbox, the lunchbox opened and the thermist broke and they took the thermist and hit me in the head with that's his name, his father was my teacher.
Laranjo, Narada, Eddie Bravo's black belt.
Oh really?
His father was my first karate teacher on 90th and West End when we first came from Cuba.
Really?
Really?
That's how I got into it.
Small world.
But before, then Bruce Lee came on the Green Hornet, and that blew my mind, then the green hornet disappeared thauauauauauauauauauauauauauauauauauauauauau... Small world. But before, then Bruce Lee came on the Green Hornet and that blew my mind, then the Green Hornet disappeared. And nobody knew Dick about Bruce Lee what was
going on. I didn't know Dick. I just knew on Sunday nights I would watch the Green Hornet.
And then it disappeared. And then he fucking, I never saw the first one, my fist of fury in the movie theater. But in the fourth grade I was going to sacred, I to school, I to school, I to school, I to the school, I to to to to to to the school, to to the school, to the school, to the school, the school, the school, the school, the school, their, th. And, I was going, I was going, I was going, th. And, th. And, I was going, I was going, I was going, I was going, I was going, I was going, I was their, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I was th. And, I was th. And, I'm, th. And, the the the the thi. And, the the the the the the the the th. And, the the the the the the the the the th. thi. the thi. thi. thi, Bruce, Bruce, I was theater. But in the fourth grade I was going to Sacred Heart School for boys and you took a shower and then you watch TV for like two hours. At school?
At school? At school because you slept there it was a boarding school. Oh
at four? At eight in the fourth grade. Oh man. And we were watching Happy.
And the commercial, do you have internet service for this? Yeah? Put trailer for the Chinese connection. Okay. I'll the 70. You. T there was there was there was there was there was there was there was there was there was there was there was there was there was there was there was there was there was there was there was there was there was there was there was there was their. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You have their. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. That. It was. That. It. It. That. That. the. the. the. I. the. the. the. the. I. the. the. the. I. the. the. the. the. Yeah. Put trailer for the Chinese Connection. Okay, I'll find. 1970, fucking 1 or 70. And there was, you know, 16 kids in the room. 16 boys,
eight years old. Think of what that room sounds like. People yelling, you know, put
it back on. I mean, there were kids there from the Bronx. It was a high-level
school. It was expensive. So the kids that went there were classy kids.
You want which one?
The first one up on top.
Yeah.
You have to show it?
We can watch it because on YouTube they can flag it, but I want to hear it.
But watch the video.
When you're four eight and you're watching Happy Days and this comes on.
This came on and the room froze guys.
You can hear a pin drop.
The master of karate, Kung Fu,
fucking everyone.
It fucked everybody up.
All these scenes, all this shit, destroyed the room.
Destroyed the room.
This was mafia kids.
This was Pauthrikeen, this was fucking kids who were spoiled,
they were yelling and screaming, this came on, the fucking room froze.
And when the commercial ended, everybody goes, we're going to see that Friday.
Like that was it, we're going to see that Friday.
I saw this at a fucking driving movie theater in Clifton, New Jersey on
Route 3 that Friday with my stepfather. I begged him. Look at his shit. You're
watching Happy Days and all of a sudden a Chinese guy beats the fuck out of 20
people. How are you going to feel? You could even concentrate the next day. We
could even concentrate the next day. This is all you talked about. Who was Bruce Lee? Who who the fuck is this guy guy th f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that that that that that that that that that that that that th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. day. We could even concentrate the next day. This is all you talked about.
Who was Bruce Lee?
Who the fuck is this guy?
And we figured out it was Cato, and that was it.
Listen, man, I loved when Spike does these Bruce Lee shows, and they asked these people
about Bruce Lee, and they read a couple of interviews.
I lived it.
I saw what it did to America. First of all, Chinese people kind of shot.
They were all walking around like Rocky's wife, until fucking Bruce Lee came out.
Then now they had a little pimp to him and shit.
They had a little bounc to them and shit.
They had a little bouncing their step and shit.
They started getting attitude.
But until Bruce Lee came out, Chinese people got a whole different fucking attitude. Listen, I remember going to Harlem and seeing black people dressed
like this. In fact, I was raised Catholic and fucking, I was very much a Santaria guy. And
I still remember that when my mother walked in the room and smelled the incense burning, she lost
a fucking mind. I had like a little shrine, like I had a couple smelled the incense burning. She lost her fucking mind.
I had like a little shrine, like I had a couple karate trophies.
Yeah.
And I had like a bowl of rice with like two guys.
Gushin Roo karate with the black fist.
I respect that shit.
And then.
Jekundu right here.
All that shit, like, but. Oh yeah. There was just karate. Yeah. That's it guys.
There was black people teaching karate in Harlem.
A couple Chinese people taught karate down in Chinatown.
And there was maybe one Kung Fu school and an Iquito school on Burgolain Avenue was run
by Richard Bo.
And there was these Cubans that had a Judo school, like mixed Russian,. They were like, they would speak with a Russian accent.
There were Cubans that they sent over to Russia in the 60s to train for the Olympics and
they got out of Cuba and they were teaching, that's it.
There was no Taekwondo, there was no Savat.
When Matt Sarah, what's Matt Sarah?
When Matt Sarah, he was only on Sundays. It was only on Sundays. So he would have to go from Long Island to
Sarahville, New Jersey. Four hours to learn one hour. That's dedication. That's
that's that's how far like it was karate overrun. Yeah. After Bruce Lee showed up,
then it was Kung Fu overrun. Kung Fu every everybody. I started dressing with I would go to I would go to to Chinatown on Saturdays and get the fucking the thing to put on your their their their their their th. their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their th. th. th. th. their their th. their their their their to to to to to to to to to their their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. their the. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th Kung Fu everywhere. Everybody. I started dressing with, I would go to, I would go to Chinatown on Saturdays and get
the fucking, the thing to put on your hands.
And me and my little retarded friends go do the iron palm technique.
We get barrels of sand and shit and do the iron palm technique.
Because that was the first, the first real martial art movies five fingers of debt where the guy's palm would turn red and that was from the iron palm technique so that was already that was like an
Eddie Bravo seed yeah we all wanted the iron palms we were we were in search
of the Chinese guy that was gonna show us the iron palm we were gonna
go to Chinese restaurant come in why don't we learn the iron
technique and the guy with the way like, are you fucking idiots? What's wrong with you fucking morons? We're from China.
We don't know the iron palm, but you're knocking off.
And we'd be like, come on, show us the iron palm technique.
So this went on.
He, he, he, he took over America.
When, when enter the dragon was about,
remember that, you guys are too young. In 85 85 85 85 85, 85, 85, 85, 85, the country, the country, the country, the the thua, thua, thuu. th. thu. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho, th. tho, tho, the. thea. th. th. the to. too, too, too, too, too, too, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. thea. toean. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. too. toea. toea. toin. When I left New York City in 85, every three out of fucking 10 girls dressed like Madonna.
Yep.
That's what New York City was like.
Everybody dressed like Bruce Lee.
Cuban, theycee.
Cuban was like, Cuban, Chih-Saheat.
Cuyah, they're gonna shoot this big Cuban movie next year.
And I told the guy I go, those Cubans, thua thua thua thua they's thuas, thua, I'n, I'n, I'n, I'n going to shoot this big Cuban movie next year.
And I told the guy, I go, those Cubans will walk on me.
He said, that China, he's like, what are those?
I go, they're Cuban t-shirts, and they got three buttons.
You don't even see them no more.
You got to go online.
They made a silk.
They're like, their, their, their, their, their, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, their, and, their, and, their, their, and, and, and, their, and, and, and, and, their, and, and, and, and, their, their, I'm saying? When you're a real fucking spick, you cut the buttons off and you get your initials
and put diamonds in them and fill them up. So if you're Sam,
fucking Morris Triply, you know, SMM, you know, SMT. Yeah, I'll think you're
fucking spiky. You have to be with diamonds, big fucking diamonds in your thing. So that was the look, that was the look everybody fucking that. So from 70. like fucking 73, Bruce Lee was running shit.
Every weekend you go to Chinatown on Saturdays and it was packed with white
kids buying posters. There was this envelope that you bought that had five pictures in it and you didn't know what
five pictures you were going to get. And they're all of Bruce Lee? All of Bruceley? Like every store got into Bruceley Mania. If you went into a restaurant, they sold Bruce Lee's t-shirts
because they know they would sell them.
It was fucking overwhelming.
People don't realize how, like,
yeah, you're totally right. It was everywhere.
And the movies hold up.
That's the thing about, like, sometimes when you go watch Star Wars, I love Star Wars, you look at the graphics now, I wonder if young kids will be into the old Star Wars.
But man, you do, you show Enter the Dragon versus the born identity or whatever that is.
Dude, it's not even close.
This movies, these movies still hold up.
Now this, that one there is my all-time favorite because while he was shooting
that he had his best friend on the phone.
He had Steve McQueen on the phone.
And if you watch the Chinese connection,
he does some crazy shitty hangs people in the Chinese connection.
He fucking, he's a lizard.
He fucking fucks up that school.
He makes the Japanese people, he'd glass.
He was on the phone with Steve McQueen the whole time. They're like, hang a motherfucker. He's like, all right. Because that, like the spaghetti westerns hang him on.
Yeah, yeah.
They're like, start hanging motherfuckers.
Oh, man.
I didn't even think about that.
In Chinese connection, he started hanging motherfuckers.
That's how evil.
A Chinese connection. I love it. Return of the Dragon I love, but nothing makes my dick. I'm sorry, harder.
Fuck porn. When I'm having a fucking retard day, like I don't know, I go in my living room and I put that scene on.
Or I put the scene on when he fights the Russian and then he goes in and beats up the Yakuza at the end the Japanese guy.
After the guy when he fucking throws his things down, he's brilliant. And Bruce Bruce Bruce Bruce Bruce Bruce Bruce Bruce Bruce Bruce Bruce Bruce Bruce Bruce Bruce Bruce Bruce Bruce Bruce Bruce Bruce Bruce Bruce Bruce Bruce Bruce Bruce Bruce Bruce Bruce Bruce Bruce Bruce Bruce Bruce Bruce Bruce Bruce Bruce Bruce Bruce Bruce Bruce Bruce Bruce Bruce Bruce Bruce Bruce Bruce Bruce the Chinese the Chinese the Chinese the Chinese the Chinese the Chinese the Chinese the Chinese the Chinese the Chinese. He the Chinese. He the Chinese. He the Chinese. He's a the Chinese. When the Chinese. When the Chinese. When the Chinese. When when the Chinese. When the Chinese. When the Chinese. When the Chinese. When the Chinese. When the Chinese. When the Chinese. When the Chinese. He? he? he's the Chinese. He's the Chinese. He's the Chinese. He's the Chinese. He's a the Chinese. He's a the Chinese. He's a the Chinese. He's a the Chinese. He's a the Chinese. He's a the Chinese. He's a the Chinese. He's a the Chinese. He's a the Chinese. I I the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I th. I the the the the the the the the the the the the Chinese. When I I the when he fucking throws his things down. He's brilliant in that. And Bruce Lee is brilliant in the Chinese connection from A to Z. A to Z, he's brilliant.
He doesn't move, he says something in that movie
that nobody's said since the Bronx Tale.
And that was 20 years before, he goes, he walks into Karajan school, he goes,
this does not concern you.
I'm allowing you to leave to leave to leave to leave to leave to leave to leave to leave to leave to leave to leave to leave to leave to leave to leave to leave to leave to leave to leave to leave to leave to leave to leave to leave to leave to leave does not concern you. I'm allowing you to leave.
Nobody has ever said that.
That's thug.
Like, I'm allowing you to leave.
This does not concern you.
I'm allowing you to leave.
And they don't leave and watch what he does.
There's a table in the middle of the fucking thing.
He jumps with a flying side kick over the table. Try doing that in your living room. Yeah, I daily try doing that in your living room. He jumps over the table. That's the scene where the fat jap comes out and he
beats him up and he knocks the sword out of his hand and then he brings him down into a clinch.
And the sword goes through his back. Then he throws him aside and there's a move he does. He does a spinning elbow with a kick. He's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he does, he does, he does, he does, he does, and he does, and he does, and he does, and he does, and he does, and he does, and he does a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. the, the, the, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, the, the, the, the, the, the, that you look at you go, what the fuck is this?
Who invented this?
He was that much ahead of the fucking curve.
By far.
And then the Chinese connection, then the end of the dragon came out, it was already on
HBO.
I watched it on HBO.
Then the Chinese connection, then the End of the Dragon was coming out and we were fucking excited. We would go to those Bruce Lee movies. And we would walk out of Union City Cinema on 48th Street.
And on 40th Street was Ponte Corvill Deli.
Huge fruit plays.
And they would have 50 yards of fruit boxes.
And we would come out of that movie theater.
And our goal was to beat the fuck out of those boxes.
We would beat the fuck out. We would beat, kick those boxes over into the
street and then run to my mother's bar. That's what we'd fucking do.
I mean, besides being a physical specimen and doing what no one could do, he had a philosophy
and a mentality and I found this old interview. It's a short little clip. I just want to say before you run this thing is he was the original mixed martial arts. I've got one for that too. to. to. to. to. to. the. the. th. the. th. the. the. th. the. the, th. I. the, th. I. the, the, the, the, th. I, th. I, the, th. I, the, the, th. I, thi. I'. I'. I'. I'. th. th. th. th. th. th. I's, th. I's, th. I's, th. I's, th. I, th. I. I, I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I mixed martial arts. I've got one for that too. Okay so here's an audio clip just I mean just listen to how
he's from China and this is back in the day. This is just audio.
You think of yourself Chinese or do you ever think of yourself as North
American? You know what I want to think of myself as a human being? Because I mean I don't want it sounds like you know as Confucius say to to to to to to say to to to to to to to to the to to to the to to the to to to the to the to the the the to the the the the the to the to to to to the toeususususus. the the their their their their their their their their their just listen just listen. I their just listen just listen. I'm just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I I mean I don't want it sounds like you know ask Confucius
say but under the sky under the heaven man there is but one family it just so
happened man that people are different.
Is that awesome? Man that's just smoking reef early on he was eating hash
to control or... His information. You'd be hash, it's a different world, like real hash.
There was a guy in Hollywood, he used to have hash cookies.
And whenever you ate them, you knew it.
Like the next day, you could fucking carry a bull all day.
And you weighed a hash cookie.
Like I was, I was when I was on the weight loss, and I would go to the YMCA and do all that crazy shit. I wouldn't be able to walk. I was 400 pounds. I would eat a fucking hash cookie. Good to go. I was doing jumping
Jackson next day. He was he was eating hash in the fucking 60s with Karim Abdujaban
those guys. He was already doing all those little things. Really in head of his time.
You know these videos. But what he did he just gave the little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little he did, he just gave the little guy belief.
He was the first person who came along that gave the little guy belief that you didn't have to be,
like that's why I don't understand the whole bully concept. You take your kid home and you show,
I showed my daughter Bruce Lee. I may, I had to did the periscope. A couple weeks. I watched her
I watch it, she watch, she don't know what the fuck's going on. I don't need it to.
I just needed to see him throw kicks and people flying through the room.
Would you get her into Jiu-Jitu martial arts? Listen, I'm going to be 55 in February. I'm not going to be around for a long time. And she's got to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go go to go to go go to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. I. I the the the the the the the throw the the throw the herself and how to stick up for yourself and if somebody touches, I mean, I got, my mom had hand signals at the park.
We came from Cuba, my mom had hand signals at the park.
This is like a heavy punch, punch him in the stomach.
My mom was one of those.
Punch him in the face.
Oh, yeah, I had a corner man at the park. My mom did not tolerate none of that shit. She was anti like what's going
on now in this country, she was anti all that. You gotta learn to protect yourself. Don't
come to my house. Don't come to my house. Yeah, that is a big problem. I think, like, I think,
you know, I mean for me personally, like bullying, and I breaks my heart when I see kids crying a lot. I cried a lot. I cried to, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm to thired, I'm, I'm thired, I'm, I'm thired, I'm, I'm thired, I'm thired, I'm thired, I'm, I'm thr, I'm not, I'm thired, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I protect, I protect, I protect, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I protect, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm to protect, I'm to protect, I'm to protect, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'mtoo. I'm Spanish. I was allergic to maple syrup.
The kids thought I was a Fed.
You know, I couldn't speak English.
They're like, this kid's a fucking Fed.
You know?
This kid's a Fed.
What grade do they think you were a Fed?
In the first grade?
You know, in New York, everybody's a Fed. First grade wearing a fucking wire to school. Yeah, like you're an art. Like you can't speak English that don't trust you.
But I will tell you this.
And again, I'm not saying bullying school.
I'm not at all.
But I can't, the guy I am on stage right now,
that dude who, if you want to heckle me,
you're gonna fucking get lit the fuck up. Because I'm gonna to to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say, to say, to say, thk, tha, thuk, thuk, thu, I'm a thu, I'm thu, I'm thu, and thu, and thu, and thu, and thu, and again, and, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, like, like, thin, like, like, thin, like, like, again, again, like, again, thin, like, th you know that's what I do because when we were kids we stopped fighting at some point
we just stopped. we just stopped man all my friends got divorced they'd all got
in divorce and they were fucked in the head man their their parents got in
divorce and they were fucked in the head and they were vicious dude and we would have this place Pontill's pizza's pizza man we go there Friday their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their to to to to their to to to to to to their their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to stop. to stop. to stop. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their ti. tip. ti. ti. their tie. their tie. their tie. ti. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. t Friday nights. If you got the inside seat in the booth, you were lit up dog and you had to get fucking fast or else you were, they wouldn't stop man. If you
had a tear coming, that would just like blood dog. So boom, boom, boom. And I remember going
to college and I was just, this is just who we were and how we go. And I joined a frat, ATO, we're hanging out. and then people would be talking shit to me,
and I just be, they called the triply low blow, boop, boop, little play, play, play, then
whack! I just a verbal fucking hit in the knees and who was done, dude, and stunned faces.
So I'm like, okay, I'm a little fast at this.
Fast forward to me doing stand up, the to to to to to to times, times, to times, times Charlie in Las Vegas on Maryland Parkway. I just bombed at U&LV the day earlier.
First time in my life I'd ever done two spots in one night.
Two spots. I bomb earlier.
I'm like, my friends like you should go up again.
I'm like, can you do that? You can go twice in one day? Like, yeah, there's an open micro-in' the good time's Charlie. I'm like, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I've like, I've like, I've like, I've like, I've like, I've like, I've like, I've like, I the first, I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I've the the the the th. th. the th. th. the first, I've the first, I've the first. the first, I've the first, I've the first, I've the first. the. the. the. th. two and I got fucking Armenian rage rolling, right? So I get up on stage and this fucking mechanic, shitface, bad teeth comes up to me dude.
And he starts heckling me and it's the first time of my life I got heckled and I said,
not today, you know, and I fucking lit this mother fucker up and I just want
oh, you know that moment where like Neo realizes he's the one I literally go oh my god I'm good at that dude and from there on I just became the guy who would go into bad gigs first for my friends like we do bar gigs
Right where you just it's chaos dude and I'd have to go Patrick Swayze in these motherfuckers where I go in and I'd have to light these dudes up to get them listen So I go first and I just start doing staff and heckles would come and I'd be like boom boom boom boom boom
bo everybody quiet bring on the rest of the guys do comedy
So like so the point is that like the bullying that I got early
Help me become the guy I am now so I don't want to see children crying, but you know you like man you go to the real world? There's nobody there to fucking clean it up you got a deal with that shit you to the the to the to the the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they I the the the they. they. they. they. they. they. I'm they. I'm they. I'm they. I'm they. I'm they. I'm I's. I's. I's. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I's I's I's I's I's I's I's I'm. I'm the the the the th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm toy. I'm try. I'm toy. I'm try. try. toy. try. try. try. try. th. the the the the the the the the You got to deal with that shit, you know? Do you still get heckled? Because I know, you come on stage and everyone just gets all,
ooh, it's Joey and like nothing but love, at least I've seen in the paper.
No, I get heckled. I don't address it no more because if I address it how I want to,
I'm going to turn the audience on me. And I'm going to dig myself into a deeper hole unless he says something you know people get drunk man oh yeah and if you make him a part of
the show now you got a fucking problem so you don't go hootsman on him not
really burn the whole room down
holds him it's his own thing I think people need every once in a while when it's just
dumb when it's just like where's Lee and we're into 28 minutes of the show and every 30 seconds you think it's cute to impress your friends
So you're gonna keep saying with Lee
With Lee like after that you have to look at them and go really guy come on you can't be that fucking stupid and you move the fuck up? Oh, that security say something. But the laying thumb. I'm try to get like a good vibe. I've learn? the to the the the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thirty thirty thin thu the the the the the the the the the th. th. thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin thin thu thu thu thu thu thirty-a' thirty-a' thirty-a' thirty-a' thirty-a' thirty-a' thirty-a' thirty-a' thirty-n All that security say something, but to lay in thumb it's not worth it. I'm trying to get like a good vibe. I've learned to kill him with love, like kill him. Yeah. I'm bringing
him up. Oh, just saying, oh my, man, you're embarrassing your fucking girl.
Totally. Look how you're acting, you're embarrassing for no fucking reason. And then they
they realized, you know just get it together. Justed just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just. their. their. their. their. their. their. their you you you you you you you you you you you you their. their. their. their. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. Just, just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just it together. You know what I said when I shot my special was a guy in the front row
Oh no heckling you in the front row that was getting into an argument with his girlfriend
And I had a split second there where I was just like booed him in the face like he was that close like he was on the stage
I just thought about this another week ago like I came that close to saying you understand I worked all my life in my first special? And you want you you you you you you you you you you to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th th the the the the things things. things. things. theeeck. theck. theeeck. theck. theeck. theck. I the. I th like I came that close to saying, you understand I worked all my life in my first special,
and you want to get into a fight with your girlfriend.
I mean, I was ready just to kick him in the fucking face.
I was positioning myself just to kick him and tell Cecil to go fuck themselves,
it's over. That was the special, me kicking a guy in the Chicago Zane, he's getting sued. It went th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thus thus thus thus thus thus, I thus, I thus, I was thus, I was thus, I was the, I was the, I was the, I was this this this this this this this the, I was the, I was the, I was the, I was th-a, I th-a, I th-a, I the, I the, I the, I the, I the, I thin, I thus, I thus, I thus, I thus, I thus, I was thus, I was thin, I was thin, I was thin, I'm the, theat theat theat theat theat theat theat theat theat theat, theeat, thee an, he's getting sued. It went through my mind, just kicking him in the fucking throat.
And I looked at him so hard that the couple next to me looked at them and said, hey man,
knock it off.
And then, you see it, if you watch the C so special, you'll see a kid on the left
side, he put in his hand up, he's arguing with his girlfriend.
She wanted to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be there but it pissed him off. It's one of the lot of times and I learned
it from going on the road with Joe on Fierfactor. A lot of girls liked them on Fear Factor.
Of course. So they dragged their boyfriends and then the boyfriend would sit there with a sour pus the rest of the night. Why I I why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why we we we we we we we we they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they their they their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th th th th th. thi thi thi thi. the are the are tie are tip tip. tip. the are tie theeeee are tho- theeeeee are a lot. A thi th. Oh yeah. And I saw that a thousand times and I learned that.
That's not, that's just even us.
If our girl comes home and says,
I want to go see this band in the back of your mind,
I love how he sings.
No, you know you want to suck his dick.
Yeah.
So we sit there, the whole fucking. insecure. That's what happens. Now I get that. So when a girl wants to come watch you just
because they like your comedy, I've had 16 year old girls come to the show with their
fucking dads. At the stress factory, a 16 year old girl brought her down. I'm outside smoking
the joint. The dad's like, why are you here? I'm headlining and he goes, my daughter brought me to see. I don't even know who the fuck you are. I had a a th. I had th. I had th. I had th. I had th. I had th. I had th. I had th. I had th. I had th. Why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their, their, their, th. I, th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. th. th. th. th. th. th. theat, theat, the. I'm the. I'm th. I don't even know who the fuck you are. I had a girl that loved Chris Dahlia and she's like, let's go see him.
I'm like, never.
Because there is a chance that Delia will just like nod his head.
There is a good chance.
I'm out.
I'm out.
So that's what you have to imagine those shows, you know, so you have to learn where they're coming from
and where their, and their, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and went to a Laker game, we got together at five and we had a few drinks. That's all it is.
So you have to understand it from their perspective. Then there's people that just rudely attack
you. That happens to... Fuck those motherfuckers. They're once a year that they want to come to a show just because they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they their they their their they their their their their th. the. the. the. that. that. the. the. the. that is that is the. the. the. the. the. that are that are that are that are th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to theat. the at the at the th week. You know? That is where the people go to the comedy clubs when they're in a bad move.
That's it.
That's it. You have to think about their psychology.
Where they're coming from?
Why are they doing what they're doing?
Why are there 300 people in the show acting polite?
And you got to be the fucking idiot.
You ain't funny. funny yeah then get up and leave why would you sit here that's the great
thing about YouTube that you could click me on five minutes before you get
there you leave no upset at a comedy show it's on you dummy it's on you dummy
it's on you dummy because we're all over the fucking place it's not 15
years ago that you but I agree did I totally agree I wonder if martial arts
helped you keep your cool in comedy.
I'm going to tell you something right off the bat. There's a lot of people, look, there's
some stuff that doesn't even work in martial arts. You see some shit and you go, come on.
But who am I the? I'm going to tell you this right out. I quit I quit karate in February of 79 and my life went to shit. It's that easy.
When I was hanging out with those geeky kids, because you would go to karate at 430 and
stayed till 7, 730. You did the 13 to 15 year old class, then you did the intermedia
class, then you did the men's class, you got beat up, and then you went to Carvel and got a snow cone and whatever, and then you went th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and thin thin thin th and th and th and th and th and th, th, th, th. You thi, th. And th. And th. And th, th, th, th, th, th, th, I I th. And th. And th. And th, I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I th, th, I I I I I I I I I I I I th, th, I I I thued, I thued, I thu an thu an thu an thu an thi, I'm thr-c-c-c-uped, I'm thr-a'eea'ea'ea'ea'ea'ea'ea'ea'ea'ea'ea'ea'ea'ea'ea'eaned, thra-a'e, thr up, and then you went to Carvel and got a snow cone and whatever, and then you went home.
You know, those are my friends.
Those kids didn't smoke pot.
We didn't smoke pot.
I hung out with them and watch martial art movies.
And we go to a martial arts place in New York supplies called Honda's, that was
eight floors.
So we'd go there and jerk off all over each other. Look, they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. We've th. We've th. We've th. We've th. We've th. We've th. We've th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that. that. that. that. that. that theeeeeeean. thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooes the. Those the. gee, look they got stars, look they got Kabuto tonfahs, you know all that shit, you know, we're gonna get
that someday, you know, like we were just assholes. So I had two sets of friends.
I had these friends that wanted to get their dick sucked and they wanted to do smoke pot and drink fucking boon's the thumbs thin.. and th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thuuu. And thuu. And thu. And thu, I I I I I I had thi I had had had had had had had thu, thu, thum, thum, thum, I had thum, I had tho, thu, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thu-up, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thum, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thi, thi, thi, thiahahahahahahahahahahededed, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, these other buddies that wanted to go see Kung Fu fucking movies and
That's it. Yeah, so I got sick of those guys. I loved them
I loved them. The we guys are the Kung Fu dudes got boring. They didn't like pussy. They didn't want to finger bang nobody. Yeah. These guys want to sit with each other and and man and hunt that kick he did was tremendou. gives a fuck that tricks got titties. Yeah, that's it. This is over It is amazing when women just become your life and then you hit like 40 and then it you overthrow the dictator And it ain't like they don't run the show no no more. That's it. Like I do I do snatch math now dog like if I'm to that? I do I do snatch math now dog like if I'm thin't th th th th th th th th th th th th th at th at th at th at th at th at that thin't thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' the the the' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' their their their their their their their their th. their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee theeeeeeeeeethis was going to happen I think of how much time I got put into this and it
never equals go for it. It always like just go home and go to sleep dude so much
easier. It's so much easier. It's never you don't even it doesn't even enter your mind.
The dictator got thrown out. It's a group thing now.
This is probably like the most famous famous Lee quote that people always quote, but if
you could see this at home and for us in the studio, just look how fucking cool this
this dude is, just his man.
There were some lions that expressed your philosophy.
I don't know if you remember them.
I remember that.
I said, this is what it is, okay.
I said, empty your mind. Be formless, shapeless, like water.
Now you put water into a cup.
It becomes the cup.
You put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle.
You put in a teapot, it becomes the teapot.
Now, water can flow, or it can crash.
Be water, my friend.
Oh, man, that is so badass. That is so bad ass. Just his
mannerisms too like that guy could probably steal your girlfriend you know
I mean. He can have my girlfriend I gladly watch.
You know the tower Gikundo is a great book it really is when you get
to you know it's the one here. Again, right here, this is
another phenomenal, just phenomenal scene, you know. If you really, if you really, at this
point his body fat levels were low. He had discovered how to get those machines to get your muscle
growth stimulated. Look him, he was ripped in this. He was a fucking specimen in this
Yeah, Arnold Schwarzenegger talked about how he had like the best physique This is it. He had the forearm seven times bigger the man that size in this run he uses every single
fucking weapon when you watch him move you see Connor McGregor is very influenced by this mother
how he stands how he loves everybody sure. Everybody is. Everybody is. Everybody is.
He is the first mixed martial artist. J. Kundo, way of the intercepting fist.
Have no master. Whatever comes at you, you got something for it.
You know, and this is what shocked America. We didn't have the internet.
We didn't have CNN. We didn't have none of those things.
One day we're on the street corner and somebody says,
hey, that guy died.
Yeah.
And we're like, what are you talking about?
That guy died.
Bruce Lee died.
I still remember running to Chinatown and buying the Chinese magazines with him.
And like we were torn. What year was that that that that that that that that the the they they???. they. the the they. the the the the they. the the they. the they. the they. they. they. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. We were. We were. We were. th. We were. We were. We were. We were. We were. We were. th. We're. We're. We're........................... We. That. That. We. That. That. That. That. That.. We're. It. It. It. It. We're. We're, th. We're. We're. We're. We're. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. was strong. What year was that they died?
He died a week before the movie came out or a week after it came out.
One month before the movie was supposed to come out.
So July 16th he died and July 30th is when the movie came out and switched, something like that.
It was just fucking, it was mind boggling.
Yeah, he was only 32 years old.
It was mind-boggling. Yeah, he's only 32 years old It was mind-boggling
That's I mean dude
And there's so many theories about how and what happened. I mean the guy was held like you said like look at him
He's super shredd. He's healthy as fuck there was a whole theory that maybe it might have been a car crash that he came back and kind of like they didn't realize this dad. I think it was something to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do the to do th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. thu thu the. the. the. the the the. the their the. the the. their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the. the. theat. I theat. their their their their their their their theory. I their their their their their their their their the didn't realize that this day. I think it was run run run show. I think it was something to do with run run run show
Who is that run run show? Run run show was the studios where he did those?
Those movies out of them Chinese connection. Fist of fury they made they made thi? You know why do they make the fucking? Why do they? Why don't they the idea how much over in? I I I? the the the the the the the the the the the th? the the th? the the th? the thin? the thi? the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the fucking the the thi? I thi? I thi? I their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their? I? I? I? I their their their their thu? I? I? I? I thu? I thu? I's thu? I's thu? I's thu? I was something something something. I'm th. I'm th. I'm thooooooooooomkkune. Iucooom? I'm th. I'm ss. thoooom. I know much money Chinese connection made? You have any fucking idea?
You have any idea how much over in 30 fucking years.
That movie came out in 1971, so we're talking about 40 years.
You know much of that movie has made?
Do you have any fucking idea?
No.
You have an idea of Fist of Fury Maine.
And now this guy dies, he decides to go to Warner Brothers. Oh, so he laughed.
He decides to go to Warner Brothers and shoot this moving with Sterling, whatever his name is.
You know, anybody watched that show last week about Tupac, who shot Tupac on A&E?
No, I just said, we've done a show, we've done a episode on Who Shud.
Yeah. At the end of the day, it's all about money. Oh yeah. What's his name was about
to have to give him $3.5 million and he was going to open his record label. You know, that's
it. That's the bottom line. Why, who killed him and why? He was due $3.5 million. You know,
when you watch that Michael Jackson's last show and his last week of life, you're looking at Michael Jackson, something ainthat's a skinny little motherfucker. Yeah, right. Something ain't fucking right. But I've always
said it. Some people were more dead than alive. What do we know while that black doctor
was watching the price is right? Somebody did slip in there and just open that valve a little
bit. He was in debt to his fucking Michael Jackson. Yeah. All of a sudden now he's making more money, he's got more money than fucking El Choppel. Yeah. You know all of a sudden, you know,
it's just that it's math. So in my world they kept saying all this shit, you
know, he went to this chick's house that he wasn't married to and he complained of a headache
and she gave him a pill and he just fucking died and his brain was whatever, all these th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. He's thi thi thi. He's just thi. He's just thi. He's just just thi. He's just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. He's thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. He's thi. He's thi. He's thi. He's thi. He's thi. Hea' thi. Hea' thi. Hea' thi. He's thi. He all these things could happen, all these things could happen, you know.
Yeah, his friend Taiwanese actress Betty Tempai poisoned him on behalf of the Chinese Tong
Secret Society is one of the theories.
The strongest mafia that we have are triads.
That's where the mafia stole that concept from. The Chinese, you know how you always, remember when I was going to school, you, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all th, all, all th, all thi, all thi, all th, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all th, all th, all th, all th, all th, all th, all th, all th, all th, all th, all th, all th, all th, all th, all th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi, all thi, all thi, all thi, all thi, all thi, all thi, all thi, all these these these these thi. All these these these thi. These thi. These thi. All thi. All, all thi. Allthat concept from. The Chinese, just, you know how you
always, remember when I was going to school, you had like a couple Hindus, got the A's.
Then the Chinese came along and they knocked the Hindus out the box. You know, the Chinese ran
heroin for 30 years. Now, one arrest, go look it up. The DA even had information for years. The Chinese until like the 80s when they said, fuck it. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their, their, their, their, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when I was, when I was, when, when, when I was, when I was, when I was, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when when, when when when when, when, when th. When, when th. When th. When th. When, when th. When th. When, when I was, when I was, when I was, when I was, when I was, when I was, when I was, when I was, when I was, when I was, when I was, when I was, when I was, when I was, when I was, when I was, when I was, the DA even had information for years, the Chinese until like the 80s when
they said, fuck it, the Italians and the blacks are becoming rich off this shit.
Let's take what's ours back and that's that movie the year the dragon.
That's where that came in when the Chinese drew the Italian mafia out of Chinatown.
That was 1984. They said, you guys are making how much, so we're selling you this for 50,000 you're making 500,000 fuck you motherfuckers they always kept threaten that what are the
blacks and the and the spicks gonna do the Chinese people when you go up to
Harlem and try to sell fucking heroin they finally said fuck it they took
it back so that big thing was heroin all they were smuggling heroin not on a fucking aro the thii tho th th th th th th th th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tho-soe tho-soe tho-soe they's they're they're they're they they're they's they's they're they're they they're they they they they they're they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi ty ty too too too ty the thi thi thi thi thi they're they're they're theyuggled it to Toronto in fucking barrels, the whole thing. They iced this poor guy, you know,
Run Run the true, God knows he was doing. But what convinced me that Run Run
Run thrusha probably had something was that Warner Brothers gave him more
movies after that. Like after Bruce Lee died, Runne Sh Shaw got in bed with Warner Brothers.
In fact, they're the producers of Death Hunt with Charles Bronson and Lee Marvin.
All of a sudden they opened up a, they cut like some deal with Run Run thrown.
Like Get us Bruce Lee and we'll make you produce like on 20 other movies.
You never know, you never know.
So why would he kill Bruce?
The whole thing was, I think they were washing money through those movies. Okay I think that think about it. They paid
those guys two dollars a day to be extra. Bruce Lee didn't get rich on those
fucking movies. No that's always pissed about right? Everybody's making money
movies. And so when he went to America you know that was going to their fucking pocket. Yeah you know financing who financing who who who who who who who who who who who who. their. that was. that was. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. They th. They th. They th. They th. They're th. They're th. They're th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. they're thi. thi. You know, financing. Who finances those movies?
Bab-ba-ba-ba-ba.
They took that financing away, and somebody got to him.
They got to him so bad that 20 years later they fucking killed his son.
Yeah.
Like, not only we're gonna kill you, we're gonna kill your fucking son to boot.
You ever heard about the brother Lee family curse? So he had an older brother
that died, that died, yes, and that makes them an Abbey to die? I just died as a... And that
makes you in the Cuban religion and Abikul. What does that mean? That means that
somebody died for you to live. So Elvis was an Abacool, if somebody dies for you to live, that makes you something really weird.
You see that in, you see a lot in hip-hop they talk about that. Where like
somebody dies and then somebody gets famous. Like a blood sacrifice? Somebody dies
for you to live. That's called an Abbe cool.
Abicool? Somebody dies before you. Elvis is, there's a couple people who were that shit. Where somebody died like in the late, whatever for you to live. Yeah, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their, their, their, their, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, th. that's, that's, that's, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, th. You, th. You, th. You, th. You, th. You, th. You, th. You, th. You, th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the, the, the, the. the, the, the. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thi, you see, that shit, where somebody died like in the late, whatever,
for you to live.
Yeah, Bruce Lee's parents also believed an evil spirit was after their son.
Bruce Lee was born in San Francisco in the Year of the Dragon on the Hour of the Dragon.
And according to Chinese astrology, this was a powerful omen for life that would have great
impact on other people, which he totally did.
His real name was Jun Fan Lee, which means return again, which is crazy.
But his parents always referred to him as Sal Fon, which is a female name which means Little
Phoenix.
Well the reason why they did that was to hide him from the spirit.
Right, totally that's exactly.
They would hide him.
They figured if they hid him from the spirit. Right. Totally. That's exactly it. They figured if they hid him from the spirit.
Wow. That he would never find them, but he did find. Who's the spirit? It's the sins of your father.
You know, it's like the sins of your father. Holy shit? It's just b- It's the sins of your father. Holy shit. It's fucking crazy shit. That is crazy that's why I love when people say we don't believe in religion and stuff
because there's things that just these are the sins of your father. Holy so it's
kind of weird it never ends man. You just have to either believe or not
believe I believe. I do believe too. I believe so. I think that I mean doing this show man learning the spiritual skepticism I think everything's happening th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. th. th. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the. the. the. the the the. the. the. the. the. the. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi doing this show man there in this spiritual skepticism. I think everything's happening dude
And I know we we had some talks about Eddie Bravo earlier and all that stuff going on with him
And that's not my shit, but I believe there's so much shit going on spirits gods
Different dimensions so I can believe this fucking keeping them from the spirit stuff 100%
percent dude like dude. We just did a patriot for about the black cube of Saturn dude and and and and and and and and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th that that that th that that that the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the the the that that to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to that that that that that that that that. the them from the spirit stuff, 100%. Dude, we just did a Patreon for about the black cube of Saturn, dude, and how far back
that shit goes.
Like all religions go back to this black cube of Saturn, dude.
The Islam, the Jews, a Christianity, they all have some form of worshipping this fucking
cube, dude.
So I mean, like this I get
that man there is some shit going on everything everything everything everything.
Everything is everything. Everything is everything. Everything is fucking
everything. Yeah it's really weird. The biopic of his life, Dragon, the Bruce Lee
story. It predicted his son's death. In the 1993 film about the life of Bruce Lee,
he battles a metaphorical demon at the end, if you remember.
And at the end, there's a particularly creepy moment
when the demon shows him a copy of his own actual tombstone.
And then he loses interest in fighting Bruce Lee and heads towards Brandon.
Two months before the film's release, Brandon was dead.
So it's interesting how. That's so crazy. thi, like thi, like thi, like thi, like thi, like thi, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the, thi, the, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the the thi, thi, thi, thi, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the, the. theat, theat, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, theat, the. was dead. So it's interesting how...
That's so crazy. And like how he dies is nuts. Joe, you've been on way more sets than I have,
right? It's crazy. But like, how does even a real bullet make it even to that moment? I mean,
like, it's unbelievable to me, like everything, I've been on where there's like, they shot
live on a flight? They make sure the guy checks to make sure the bullets not a live round like
it's crazy that a gun on set had a real fucking bullet in it that's crazy
to me yeah they said they're trying to cut costs and they were making
their own rounds do you remember where you were when you saw the game of death
when he fought for Mothu Kremov-Dubbar?
It was weird because I saw this, all these movies got released after his death and everybody jumped
on the Bruce Lee fucking Discussed Bandwagon and I got off it pretty quick even at that age I knew
it was a scam you know there was one good Bruce Lee guy his name was
Carado the Hong Kong cat he had new chunks with copper on the bottom I can't
even find the trailer I've looked for the trailer for years it said step
aside Bruce Lee and make way for Carado, the Hong Kong cat.
And after that, I pretty much dropped. I dropped out of there.
There's not a lot after that, dude.
But you think that, do you think that Brandon Lee's death was a, like,
like, a following up on this, the spirit of stuff?
Yeah. Did that, man, some try-a-d shit, like, hey dog? Who knows knows, proof we don't forget they didn't kill his fucking daughter
well you can't think doesn't go on a freak accident didn't kill his daughter she's
got a podcast right does she I don't know a real successful podcast yeah
oh she I see she runs his Twitter account and all that yeah yeah yeah
she does a bunch of shit you said you're going to be teaching your daughter how to protect herself. Are you going to pass it down any of the Cuban traditions, the superstitions of sorts?
You know, man, it's weird.
She went to see Coco.
I heard that's good.
It's a great movie.
And I have one of those spirit today.
In fact, before I came I'd let the candle and fill the glasses up with water. Which saint is it, if you don't mind me? No, no. Monday is a spirit day.
OK.
Monday is a spirit day for Cubans and people in that realm.
It's all your altars.
It's all you're the people that, again, you know, when I wake up in the morning, I look
at my board and I look at all like Darren Rago,
died when we were 21, Anthony Balsano. Another kid died when I was in the eighth grade. He was my buddy.
You know, he died and I moved in with his family.
His family became, his father just died and left me money
in a will.
Like, that's how close I was with the Balsano was growing up.
Anthony died in the eighth grade,
and then when my mother died, the balsano's kind of adopted me. So it all everything all everything all everything all everything all everything all everything all everything all everything all everything all everything all everything all everything all everything all everything all everything all everything all everything all everything all everything, I I all everything, I all, I all, I all, I all, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. the th. th. th. th. He, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin, he was, he was, he was, he was, he's tod today, he was, he's th. th th th th th th th th guys and I go, today I have to live for those guys.
So in Coco, it's about a guy that nobody thinks about anymore.
And he wants people to remember him.
So you should always put your ancestors' pictures up and light a candle.
My mom used to cook for them on Mondays and actually put meals out for them. That's a little too crazy for me.
I do think about that.
That's a little too crazy for me.
But I light a candle, I put a glass of fire water for like a walk every Monday to open
up my paths.
I'm really Monday.
That's why I don't travel Sundays.
I don't travel Sundays. I don't work Sundays. I don't give me what you got to give me. Because Monday you don't travel. You just relax. So that's what Coco is about.
So she comes in the room at night into my office and the alters right there.
I have my little spirit altar right there. So now I could explain that what's going on.
It's, there's a really good Santeria guy in LA, one of the best I've ever encountered.
One of the best.
He's not better than my godparents, but he's pretty good up there.
But I don't like his scene because he has LA people in the scene.
And people always go to me, what does that mean?
Those are people they're just trying to fit in, like the people who are the people with Joel and Scientologists, they're just looking for an identity. I wasn't introduced into Santerian that way.
I was introduced in the Santeria.
It was around me as a child and I didn't like it.
I was introduced to my godmother.
My godmother lured me with a collie.
She had a fucking collie.
Like cat, was that fucking collie?
She had the exact same dog. So I used to go up to the play with the dog. Meanwhile, she was throwing shit at me, you know, and I was mixing it with my religious
studies. So I understood it. You follow me? Yes. Because my mom put me in Catholic school,
not really Catholic school. I went to PS 166, but she got me into a Catholic program. So I would learn the story. She would tell me different Catholicism
mixed with Santeria stories, and I would pay attention.
So I kind of learned.
It wasn't something that I just, oh my God,
Sam is there.
I might as well go there too.
He's amazing.
Oh my God, he told my future.
No, I don't hang with those people because I was in it in an old school way. You don't really talk to people about it.
I don't say nothing to nobody about it.
Nobody really knows.
First of all the fight club, don't talk about fight.
Yeah, nobody really knows where those people are into saying.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And he's a really good looking, to that.
.
.
. looking to OJ his dick, you know what I'm saying? Looking to suck that Terry's Cruz dick. I get that.
So he's got a lot of that going on,
even though he's married, there's a lot of white chicks
are the confused there.
So that whole scene I don't like.
I grew up in a really strict Santa Ria Cuban scene
where it's very hush. You don't fucking thu-I thu-a thu-a-a-oo thu. You know fucking do much you mind your business nobody fucks with you you keep out of your neighborhood
Right, you know because some people can't understand it so I send us Sam there so they can rub the chicken or the egg and get some Yeah, bad mojo that's residuals. I'm not the happiest I've ever been you got a little bit of a shadow man. Okay, dude. I mean like a little bit of a shadow man. Okay I may have dark energy, but I'm a good dude.
And I treat people like gold, man.
I treat people like gold.
You know, it's like with this conspiracy stuff, you know, it's like people like, I've just
learned them.
It's like that Santoria stuff you're talking about.
I just can't talk about the stuff way sometimes, and that's fine too. You know, I love doing this podcast.
I love talking about this stuff.
I love talking about, you know, this has been one of my favorite podcasts I've ever done
in my life, man.
But I'm a good dude and I got to do good energy, dog.
And sometimes I go on stage and people like, uh, attitude.
And that's not me.
So I gotta do little tricks on stage.
Got a shit on myself a little, you know,
make fun of my look and all that stuff to get them on.
And then they realize I'm just here to have a good time and shit, you know,
so I'll take a chicken egg though, you can rub it. It's funny because when I was a kid I would never tell ttalking about man there's this new drug marijuana and I'm like are you fucking kidding
me? I was like six and seven and I already knew. Yeah like I already knew about
blood. Because my mom had a bar. So my mom would tell me look at that guy's got coke
around his nose and I would catch my mom like my mom I'd go wipe your nose like I know but I would never repeat it out their their their their their their their their their they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to me I was I was I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was like my my my my my m m. I was like my m. I was like my m. I was like my m. I was like my m. I was like my m. I was like my m. I was like my m. I was like my m. I was like my m. I was like my m. I was like my m. I was like my m. I was liked. I was like my m. I would never repeat it out in public in
front of my friends that was it in my house there were little statues the monkeys
yeah here no evil speak new evil see any of your fucking mouth don't say dick
and I wouldn't say dick and I listened to kids talk like I saw my stepdad
shoot a guy at a 148 street a Santa Maria party I never said
nothing to nobody most kids would have gone and said my dad shot a dude, it was great. Because nobody's gonna fucking believe it.
Nobody's gonna believe it. I'm in Tampa a couple weeks ago.
Doing where? I'm at the improv. Yeah, I'm there for new years. And I'm sitting there and I'm taking pictures of people. And this kid comes up to me with this mother with a weird look on her face, like a smile, and she goes,
who's this?
She gives me this picture and I look at it.
It's a picture of an African woman.
And I look at him, well, that's the Atonia.
And he goes, oh my god, you got a great fucking memory.
We grew up with those people.
And my mom had a bar in Union City and towards the end of her bar run
the reason why the bar closed is because of the story because it was a Cuban cop
that started coming and shaking it down
he had a beard, black scraggly hair and he had like a white partner
and he would come in and talk to my mother in Spanish I know what you do here
from now when I know you're paying the cops but you're gonna to pay us to. And then he started shaking down. There was a Cuban neighbor, which they're making a movie about.
What's his name?
Just signed on?
Benicia Do Toro just signed on for the lead.
And the white kid just signed on to be in the movie to Leo.
So it's a fucking, it's the hardest script next year is called the corporation.
It's about a guy named Jose Battle. It's a, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, the, it's, the, the hottest script next year is called the corporation. It's about a guy named Jose Battle.
It's our, it's a Cubans, what's the Irish guy from Boston?
I talked about a deal wider?
It's our time answer to him.
He got arrested the Cuban jail for the CIA, came out and told the CIA to go fuck himself.
He's doing what he wants to do.
So he ran a numbers empire. But this Union City second neighborhood, that's when my mom had a bar and all these other Cuban bookies had a bar.
And this guy decided to run rogue and to go to all these Cubans and demand money.
And one day I got to this bar, I had to be maybe 11, 12.
I was already in Santa Ria, but the crazy shit, and I just believed my godmother's shit.
I didn't put up on anybody anybody anybody anybody anybody anybody anybody anybody anybody anybody anybody anybody anybody anybody anybody anybody anybody anybody anybody anybody anybody anybody anybody anybody anybody anybody anybody anybody anybody anybody anybody anybody anybody anybody anybody anybody anybody anybody anybody anybody anybody anybody anybody anybody anybody anybody anybody anybody anybody anybody anybody anybody anybody anybody anybody anybody anybody anybody anybody anybody anybody anybody anybody their their their their their their their their their the crazy shit, I didn't believe it. I just believed my godmother's shit. I didn't put up on anybody else's shit.
But there was this family hung around with the Torres.
Cool motherfuckers.
Their father was a big-time bookmaker in the city.
And their wife was a straight-laced mom, like a fucking mom.
No drugs, no nothing.
But once a month she would pass a spirit called Nantanya. And she would crack open a bottle that 140-proof shit.
And she would drink the whole fucking thing.
Holy shit.
And then spit it out in the air and light her fucking mouth on fire.
It was like a circus act.
And I would go there in the morning just to see if she was hung over.
Just to see what she was hung over.
She'd be a mom, making eggs in the morning. morning and shit. Some of them are Bert Kreisher's man. They just drink and keep going,
she would channel the spirit. She would channel the spirit. That was fucking really strong and
tell people shit. I was a little kid. I would go and I'm like, this is a little too creepy
for me. And I would just play along. Yeah, this is great. But I would get the fuck out. I had a problem sleeping. I always like had a big problem sleeping. So she's, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, th. th. the, th. th. th. the th. th. the th. I, the thi, thi, thi, the th. I, thi, the the the thi, thi, thi, they, they, they, they, they, they, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I, I, th. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was thin, I'm toluu. I'm too. I was too. I'm toon't too. I was toon't, tole. I was tolu. And, thin, th. And always like had a big problem sleeping so she told me what to put a red sheet
above my bed and to put a glass with a little bit of sugar under the bed and I still couldn't
sleep so I told her the only thing I got from that fucking glass was roaches you know
so she was like in her African mode and shit. So there's one that I go after my mom and that cop have a big time argument and I go with her and that night
there's a bunch of people in the room and she's talking to them and the
African thing and there's she comes over to my mom and she goes I know what
your problem is before you even say and I was like six feet away man and she
took the fucking dish like a white dish that you eat on and then she flipped it over and she took a candle and she went like this with the candle
And she flipped it back and it was the image
Of the guy with the beard. Oh shut up, man. I was a little kid and she took the fucking thing and she goes
Seven days and she broke the fucking glass the dish on the floor now. I'm in the corner going this bitch? just went out of bounds because she the th th th th th th th th of th of th of th of th. th of th. th. th. th of th. th. th. th. th of th. th. th. th. th like thi. th like this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th of th of thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi thi thi. thi thi thi thi thi. thi thi thi, the dish on the floor.
Now I'm in the corner going, this bitch just went out of bounds because she can't cover
this bread.
Nobody could cover this bread.
Nobody could cover this fucking spread.
Seven days, this guy's gonna die.
That's what she just said in fucking layman's terms. I'm sitting there going, this is fucking hocus poker. Let me tell you something.
Not even a week later.
Not even a week later.
Shut the fuck.
I got out of the school.
I got out of the school.
And you know when you just have that feeling?
Like I got out of the school at three and I saw the school teachers they were talking. th. I thin. I thin. I thin. I thin. I thin. I thin about thin. I thin about thin. I thin. I their their their their their their their their tho. I was tho. I was tho. tho. their their theats. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was their. I was their. I was theea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. ta. toda. today. today. today. today. today. today. today. today. tea. today. the went up to the bar and when I went into the bar all those Cubans were they're tipping glasses.
It was three in the afternoon they're fucking drinking that Cuban music on, they're dancing.
And I go, what happened?
They go, they killed that fucking mothucker last night.
And I go, what the fuck, are you talking about? Rapido taxi. There was this Cuban taxi company called Rapido. They never had any customers. They just delivered cocaine.
Rappado. You see the car zipping around with no customers all night. What the fuck?
They delivered him blow. It was called Rapido Taxi. They went to make a pickup. And when he got out of the car,
they fucking bombarded him with bullets. And his partner still alive until this day his partner claims that his door
was locked and he couldn't get out. He took a couple shots in the leg through
the cars but he lived but the fucking main Cuban cop they machine gun him to
death. You ready? Boom he's dead. This causes a big fucking problem in Union City.
They closed my mother's bar. They closed Café Laudanilla they closed like three Cuban bars. They don't know who did it. They put a
Patsy on the guy. They caught some white dude who said they shot him. Nah, no. I go to prison.
I forget all about it. I go to high school. My mother dies. I don't do dick.
I go to Colorado. I go to Colorado, I get arrested, I go to prison, I come out,
I need a job. I go to a Honda dealership. It's called Fisher Honda in Boulder. I walk in,
I apply the guy goes, they want to hire you, but you got away for one more manager.
And they go, in fact, he's a Cuban kid. I go perfect. So the guy comes in, are you ready for the interview? I go in
the back room, I shake the guy's hand and I go right away, I go, you're from Miami or
Union City? He goes, well, we were from Union City, but my dad was a cop then, he got shot
when I was a kid. So he moved to Virginia. What? Just like that. Small world! Small fucking world, my friend.
God damn.
And that was what maybe Believe.
That's the first time I ever fucking believe.
Like that's the way to send the message.
That's a John Gotti type message.
You know what the same?
Get the fuck out of town, Doc.
Seven days, she broke the fucking thing.
thin' thiii. got shot in like five fucking days. They better put that in that movie next year, man.
You better get some creds on that one.
Well, I talked to the author of the book.
His name is TJ English.
He came to my show at Gotham this last time, for the New York Comedy Festival.
So that's why I'm trying to help him out with, it's a book.
The book is called the movie. I know half the
people want to play. I grew up with him. That's so great. How crazy is that? That's the
best. I know half the people they're gonna fucking. I love that. I loved you and Marin. Like Marin was hidden miss I like what he was doing. the the th. th. I. the th. th. I th. I the th. I th. I was th. I was doing. the th. th. I th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I know th. I know th. I know th. I know th. I know th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know thee. I know. I know thee. I know. I know the. I know. I know. I know the. I know. I know. I know th. I know. I know th. I thought you did a good job. He wrote it. He wrote it for me.
So it was him.
It was basically him.
And then when I got there goes, do what you want.
I really don't care what you do.
I really don't care what you do.
I just do what you want.
He's a great dude.
I like Marlon.
Joey Diaz. being part of our show. There's a great concept. I didn't know. I didn't always even conspiracies till this morning.
It's like spiritual skepticism, dude.
You know, we just look for what's the real story going on.
Let's see if Lee is shit in his pants right now.
Guys, it's the last comedy chaos.
Tomorrow night the comedy store, it's probably sold out right now. The naughty shows at the Harvels in this th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. We, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, the the the thi, the the thin, the they, they they the they the the thin, the the the thi, the thi, thi, thi, out right now. The naughty shows at the Harvels in Long Beach
this Friday night, two shows brought by Penthouse.
We have Penthouse Pets.
But Brett Rossi and Jayden, fucking Cole.
And it's gonna line up of murderers
with sex toys giveaways from Topco.
Joey Diaz, you got any dates you want to push?
Austin, the 18th in January. Cap City? And Charlotte, the comedy, the comedy, the comedy, the comedy, the comedy, the comedy, the comedy, the comedy, the comedy, the comedy, the comedy, the comedy, the comedy, the comedy, the comedy, the comedy, the comedy, the comedy, the comedy, the comedy, the comedy, the comedy, the comedy, the comedy, the comedy, the comedy, the comedy, the comedy, the comedy, the comedy, the comedy, the comedy, the comedy, the comedy, the comedy, the comedy, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th th th th th th th th th th too th too too th too th th th th th th th th th tho th th to want to push? Austin the 18th in January Cap City and Charlotte the
comedy zone we love it last week in the hour January. Guys look at those t-shirts
dude check out Joey Dears that net Matt flavor on Twitter check it out the best
uncle Joey hey tell Lee from one side kick to another I love him and I can't wait
to have a dude last they I must say just keep it rolling I went to the I love him, and I can't wait to have them on. Last thing I must say, just keep it rolling.
I went to the Acoustic Christmas, the K-Rock Acoustic Christmas,
and I watched some motherfuckers go up called Profits of Rage.
And they fucking murdered that motherfucker, and after that was the band called Rise Against,
and fucking they went up
apologizing to the band because they were just trying, dude. And that's what
happens when you follow fucking Coco Diaz in the motherfucking O'R, dog. It's called an
education, dude. It's a beautiful day. You're the best I love you best I love you guys. I love the best I the best I the best I the best I the best I the best I the best I th. I th. I the best I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tha tha tha to ta ta. ta. to ta. ta. ta. to. to. tha. thea. tha. tha. tha tha tha the sport. We're in our best week ever. Tremendous. We're getting fucked up this week.
I love you guys. Take care. We'll see you next.
We've got a great show coming up next. We'll see you soon.
Bye.
Who's up next?
Oh.
We're one on Thursday.
Crypto currency, bro.