Tomorrow - 247: The end has no end

Episode Date: April 1, 2022

This week Josh and Ryan tell you how Robert Pattinson became The Batman, how they feel about Elden Ring vs. Gran Turismo 7, who should and shouldn't get slapped, and why you need to see Everything Everywhere All At Once.  Tomorrow is not dead... she's just resting! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey, you'd welcome to tomorrow. I'm your host, Joshua Tupulski. Today on the podcast, we discuss the slap, the ring, and the bat, man. I don't always one minute. Let's get ready to do it. I'm back. Hello, I'm back in a tomb. Oh, wow. You know, you're my me of moon knight.

Actually, I don't know if he's been in a tomb. I don't know anything about moon knight. I did buy a tomb. I'm going to be a tomb. I'm going to be a tomb. I'm going to in a tomb. Oh wow. You know here, my me of Moon Knight. Actually, I don't know if he's been in a tomb. I don't know anything about Moon Knight. I did buy some Moon Knight comics, but I never read them. And also, I don't know anything about Moon Knight.

I know that he's like a Batman mummy. Sure. He's Oscar Isaac. Oscar Isaac, I know. He's doing a British accent. But that's good to know. And he's Oscar Isaac. Oscar Isaac is doing a British accent. That's good to know. And he's a knight. He's like, oh, I'm moon knight.

So whatever. I assume. Oh, did you want some cheese? Yeah. He's the moon is made of cheese in the world. He's like handing out delicious moon cheese. All right, listen, I don't want to, we have to, I have to, I have to talk about something

that I think everybody is wondering about, everybody's been thinking about everybody is, you know, they're like, uh, what's going on? Josh. Intrigue. Intrigue. You know, did you see the Batman? And what do you think of it? And I got to, I have to talk about it.

I have to talk about it. If I don't talk about it, I'm going to die. I only have a, it's like one of the riddlers, great puzzles, which actually are terrible. I'll get into that a second, but okay. Did you see the Batman? I saw the Batman with Robert Pattinson. And so he craved it. Okay, I will go fuck myself, actually. I would love to fuck myself. Um, so first off, Robert Pattinson is a great Batman. I think he's terrific.

He's got everything you need in the Batman and nothing you don't. Although I will say his hair when he's in Bruce Wayne mode is absurd, but it's fine. I'll allow it. I will allow it, okay? But it's absurd. I mean, he looks like he's in panic of the disco.

No, he looks like he's in. What's the band that did the like? He looks like he's in panic of the disc at the disc goes floor show in 2006. Now, what is the, what is the, what's the band that did the, oh, my chemical romance? He looks like the guy, he looks like the guy from my chemical romance, Gerard, baby, is his name. And anyway, everybody's great in the movie. Paul Dan out, terrific, terrific as the riddler, one of Batman's great villains, who he does a lot of goofy like riddles. But in this movie, he's actually playing

the zodiac killer from the movie Zodiac by David Fincher. Like unabashedly, it's just like, oh, he'll be like the zodiac, and he'll wear his same outfit, and he'll like do the zodiac's cipher, exactly how the zodiac does it. That's, by the way, getting close to what I really want to talk about. Which is that this whole movie is based on seven.

Jeffrey Wright, great. He's great. What Zoe Kravitz, an unbelievable, perfect catwoman, Colin Farrell, incredible, unbelievable, terrific. John Tetero, who I kind of was like only in late in the game with vaguely where he was actually even in the movie, tremendous, very good. All of the side character, all of the bit players, all of everybody's just fantastic. And spoiler alert, the guy plays the Joker's very good also.

But because the Joker is in it, in case you were googling that. But the movie is bad, okay? And I'm gonna get into how it's bad and why it's bad, but I have to tell you, it is not a good movie. And let me just say this, first off, I think it could have been better. It could have been, it maybe had somebody edited the movie from three hours to two hours,

it might have been better. But what's crazy to me about this Batman, and there's a lot to like about it. I mean, to say that, I mean, it's not a good movie, it's like the actual storytelling part of it kind of sucks, but like the set design is awesome, and the costume design is awesome, and it looks really great.

There's some really beautiful moments in it. I think it's well done. I think it's the best looking of all the Batman movies. It looks and feels most like the comic books, the ones that I really like. But it is just like, there are a couple of things that really stood out to me, I was watching it. One is that it's so long, it's overly long.

I don't know why it's so long, it's unclear to me. They seem to have a lot of story, but they actually don't. I mean, it seems like the story's very complicated, but it really isn't. And, and, and, and, of story, but they actually don't. I mean, it seems like the story is very complicated, but it really isn't. And it's got, it's one of these movies that has multiple endings like, oh, it's over. And you're like, oh, now it's over. And then you're like, oh, no way, it's over. Now it's okay. It's actually over. It's like they couldn't figure out how

to end it. It's they kept adding a new ending. They were like, well, maybe they'd like watched it. It was like they went and they shot the movie and they did the first setting, they're like, it feels like it needs a little something else. And then they were like, let's do a second ending. They're like, okay, yes, that's it. And they got like,

this movie was in production and reshoots for like five years, that's probably what happened. Please don't make excuses. Please don't make excuses, that's my ridler voice. Please don't make excuses that's my redler voice please don't make excuses what if what if Bane was a little gay or yeah he does a lot of he's I mean he literally does like the yeah I mean it's so so derivative of like David Fincher's zodiac it's crazy but um but so, so, so then they added several more endings, but here's the thing that most shocked me

about the new Batman movie is that, because I don't expect Batman movies to have to be super cerebral or anything, I do think this movie believes it's very cerebral. I do think that the writers, this movie we were like, we have created a true mystery, the world's greatest detective is finally getting his moment in the spotlight.

And it's not, the story is very flat and pointless. And it actually felt like at some point they were working towards an amazing reveal. I should say that if you haven't seen it, this is a take me a ton of spoilers. But it felt like they were moving towards something really dark, like a ring of pedophiles or something as like the kind of core, like true crime of the movie. And which I think would have made it all of the actions of many of the characters much more interesting,

like something really heinous. But like really the movie's just like, all the rich people didn't use the money to help the poor people and it's like, okay, yes that is bad. But it's the fucking plot of the Dark Knight Rises. Well, I very much do not love the Nolan movies, fancy, but okay, but I except for Heath Ledger, obviously.

But he's great. I felt like I really loved the themes and the aesthetics, and I thought that they very much captured the spirit of what I, my Batman and my heart and mind and soul is, and I loved the like, you know, bringing in, he's a detective again, and pointing out how out of touch a billionaire would be for a detective. They did lots of smart stuff.

It just seemed like because they wanted cerebral themes and like a very, I don't wanna say over rock because it wasn't over rock, but a very, really processed look. They are compromised with the studio to make the mystery real dumb and easy to explain. Yeah, I, the mystery is like the cops are corrupt and like big and here's a big spoiler Cops and criminals and rich people. They're all the same group

No, I like and the right people fuck about you. It's like yeah, I know It's like and the rich mafia people and the rich like Political people are all in cooots. It's like there's class solidarity Except for this one weird guy Enter dad except for Bruce way no, but um, but also Like this one weird guy capitalist hate him. Yeah, I mean They all this You won't believe what happens to acts with him

But the but the thing about it is like here's the thing okay, so all that aside. Okay fine It's enjoyable for most part enjoyable to watch again way too long Like way too long just all long maybe add another two hours chop it up into an HBO series like you wanted to do had it been had that bit an HBO series It would have been great I need to be a master. It's like you wanted to. How did it been? Had that been an HBO series? It would have been great. I would have loved to watch 10 hours of that. It could have been maybe dark too.

Maybe they could have, maybe they could have, like, you know, made the story make any sense at all. Like the team, right? But here's the help to it. But here's the cra- Here's the craziest part to me. All of that aside. And again, I wanna say, I love the,

I like the universe that has been created for this Batman. I like all these characters. I like the vibe of it. I think there's like, it's the best Batman on film in terms of like look and feel and sensibility and sort of like overall concept of who the character is and who what his world is. Like, I think that's all right, you know? It's really thought out. It feels really complete. The world feels lived in, but also like, it's exciting and it's got some very clear, like, there's just really clear visuals. I conic, like, you know, I conic designs. It's got, yeah, it's got it, it's got, it's got all that.

But she had style, she had flair, she was there. That's what she became exactly right. But here's the thing, but here's the thing that blows my mind and is like, I cannot stop thinking about it. It literally repeats exact things from the Christopher Nolan movies. Like crazy things that you would be like, for sure they watch them, right?

You've seen, like Matt Reeves has seen the Christopher Nolan ones, right? Like to me, the way this movie felt in some parts, I was like incredulous in the theater. I was like, are they, do they make this movie? Was this like conceptually like Matt Reeves was like, okay, guys, here's what we're gonna do. Pretend that Christopher Nolan movies don't exist at all. And I actually think that may have been what happened, to be honest with you. I think they may have said, like, listen, we'll never be able to get out from under the shadow

of that, so we just need to kind of proceed with our story. But it's like, okay, but your story literally has like copycat guys doing the crimes, and it has like, there's, towards the end of the movie, again, spoiler alert. But like Batman literally, like literally is swinging around this platform and like hooking guys together and having them dangle from this metal scaffolding, which is exactly what happens at the end of the dark night. They put it in the garden or their version

of the Coliseum versus a stadium, which is like not that. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, then there's the whole thing with like, then they like are like, oh, we are going to blow up the city and trap everybody here and it's going to flood. And it's like, okay, they did that in the dark night rises. It's one of the main plot points, which is like, they trap everybody in the city. But guess what?

But they also do that. But he out, but Christopher Nolan also does it in the first Batman movie the scarecrow Traps everybody in the city and like forgot about unleashes like wacky gas or whatever And that's how they do those Arkham games Because like oh a fixed location Yeah, it's like crazy. I know I don't understand how you get to that point You're like okay, and then he detonates these explosives in these vans and I actually think that they are like there's Explosives in vans in the dark night rises is how they do it. Okay, so it's like I'm I just don't understand

Then they have Jack Nicholson as the Joker no, I'm just kidding That would be the D-H And the D-H Jack Nicholson I wish I wish they'd done anything as inventive as have George Clooney in the movie The no, it's crazy. Like, he literally is like doing... It's like a Christopher Nolan movie. I mean, it is, and not just like it's got the vibe, which by the way, it is the Grim Dark Christopher Nolan vibe, okay? But it is also like literal things that happen

in the Christopher Nolan movie, happen in this movie. And I just don't know how you, I don't know how you do that. Like I don't know why you do that. There are other things to do with Batman. He doesn't have to do the same things all of the time. He can still punch the bad guy. to do with Batman, he doesn't have to, he doesn't have to do the same things all of the time.

He can still punch the bad guy. He, there's literally an interrogation scene. There's an interrogation scene with the, the riddler where he's captured. The riddler, okay, again spoilers. The riddler's like, gets captured. He's like, I want to get captured. It's all part of my plan. And then some stuff blows up. Like, that is in the dark night. That is what the Joker does. It is the fucking plot point You know, sorry if I sound angry, but people I read reviews this people like who finally a Batman movie that thinks For itself or whatever. I'm like, oh no. This isn't derivative bullshit. I love the characters. I love the setting I love the characters, I love the setting, I love the direction, the story fucking sucks. And whoever's responsible for it, I think the villain's terrific. I think Paul Dano as the riddler is terrific.

Over the top, completely bonkers, scary, the, he's crimes are legitimately upsetting. It's like definitely some like saw as shit. I mean, actually, there's some literal saw shit in it, but like, you know, up again, it's somewhat derivative. But, uh, yeah, man, I was just shocked. Just shocked. And, uh, I love, there's so many things to love, though. And I did love some parts of the movie that like so much that I just don't care.

Like that whole extended sequence with Penguin and Batman on the highway, the like Chase scene, and then sort of, I even loved how it ended. I like, I don't know. There was a whole sequences of cat woman stuff that I loved. The chase? The chase was good.

I thought the chase, I loved. I thought Zoe was, by far, my favorite cat woman that has appeared in film besides Michelle Fyfer, obviously I think I'm an earthly cat or Julie Neumar. But other than that, my favorite cat woman ever and she didn't even do anything cheesy cat woman, you know, like they avoided putting her in a cat costume and like fucking, you know, 90 cats around her or whatever and she's not like rare or whatever but she does milk at some point but I thought she seemed very it seemed like she had a dashed the cat mannerisms and physicality much better than I've seen like and halfway yeah I don't think I know horrible I don't think they

ever they don't refer to his cat woman do they not know oh yeah I don't know oh no she's great. She was great. Everybody's great. Robert Pattinson's great. Like, I have to say, his presence on screen as Batman was like, although that jawline would give you away as Bruce Wayne.

I do feel like it's like, come on guys. Like, I'm sorry. They've all been around Bruce Wayne. And then they see this guy's lower face. Like, you're not like, how many people in this city have the most Chisels like buy a team of statue workers. I don't like the size twice the size of their regular head Yeah, it's funny. It's interesting. I thought like

You know, yeah, I thought I don't know there's so many parts of it that work, you know, there's so many parts of it that work, you know? There's so many parts that work. It's on to Taro, I mean, come on. He's great, he's terrific in it. I mean, like really subtle performance and very good and Colin Farrell, like I'm such a, I've become a full lot, like Colin Farrell.

I'm like, I've got, you've gone Farrell. I've gone Farrell, that's right. I think, I think, Chris Misfil has gone Farrell. I think, yeah, I think, um, as gone Pharaoh. I think, oh, yeah, I think, uh, there's a lot to like, I just feel like they never, they just weren't able to get out of the shadow of this like obvious sort of like, sort of predictable, surprisingly like familiar stuff, you know, and, and I'm, and I'm mad. I'm not mad, I mean, whatever, it was fine.

I would have loved to see it like two hours long though. I think if you could edit that down into two hours, I'm sure someone will. Could be a whole different deal, whole different deal, you know? Get that suicide squad editing team that did the first one, they had a bang up job. Yeah, they cut that shit right down. I remember I was like, suicide squad, that's gonna be good.

I have a good feeling about this. I'm feeling nervous. I job. Yeah, they cut that shit right down. I remember I was like, suicide's gone. That's gonna be good. I have a good feeling about this. I'm feeling like this Batman movie being like, oh god, not another Batman movie. And then of course I'm their day one clapping for the Robins. For it, with, and with Rob and Pat. I think, screaming with my promotional hat or whatever.

I think, yeah, with your big phone, Batman finger. Yeah. They give you, you don't talk about the Batman finger, they give you. You don't talk about the foam finger, do they still have those? I don't know if they have those at Met's Games. All right, so that's mostly the Batman I had to talk about it, because there's really no words. There's no other forum where I can express my deep opinions about the Batman. Oh, also the music, I'm sorry, they had two notes. They came up with two notes for the soundtrack. I mean sorry, they had two notes, they came up with two notes for the soundtrack.

I mean, it's literally two notes. I mean, like, you know what, it's two notes. He's like, one note, it's like, well, it's one more than one, but it is like, it is two notes. I thought the soundtrack was particularly uninspired. They're also like, hey, you know, people really liked that Nirvana song in the trailer. What if we put it in the movie a couple of times,

just keep bringing it back because what they couldn't, they like ran out of money for music licensing. They were like, guys, we can just afford the Nirvana song. Is there, can we work with that? They're Warner Brothers. You know what I mean? I think actually the catalog of music they can both run. The more I think of it, I actually, I may be mistaken,

but I believe the two notes of the score might be the first two notes of something in the way by Nirvana, which is again, like, I don't know, maybe get Hans Zimmer in there. You're gonna rip off Nolan, maybe get his guy in there to do a real soundtrack or something. At any rate, I mean, listen, it was enjoyable. It was not like, oh my God, this is a disaster

and embarrassing everybody's, everybody's a lot of shit laugh at it. It just wasn't like, it could have been so much better. I know I know I said that all the time, but it just, to me, felt like an easy one here, like a layup, you got all the people, just come up with a story that isn't literally doing exactly the same things that the other Batman stories did.

I think they now have what they wanted, which was they wanted, they just basically wanted the Nolan Batman for Antise back if they could have it. Well, younger, but younger. Yeah, so they got the models. And they were like, they're like, some of the like libertarian themes out of it. And they said you're going to go.

So you will about, say what you will about Ben Affleck and Zack Snyder, but they did try some new things. Were they good things? Nah, really, but, but you gotta give him credit, gotta give him credit for trying. I do, I do.

Anyhow, okay, let's move on to my second most important topic that I have to discuss right now, which is my Absolute addiction and obsession addiction to an obsession with a Game called Elden Ring which which here's the thing about Elden Ring people are talking about Elden Ring like You know everybody's chatting about it every single Elden ring. Oh, big deal I didn't even realize it was a from software game. I didn't even realize it was a from software game i didn't even realize it was a like a

a souls game okay which all of which i have either avoided or have played and then given up on because i'm like no not for me not for me folks i hate this and i have to stop now um but uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh Um, but... Uh... Elden Ring, man. The pulled the pieces together. Uh... This game.

So that I bought it. I was like, this seems fun. So I bought the game. Like, not even like really short I was getting into, but I'm like, everybody's talking about it. I did no research. I watched like the trailer and stuff. And...

I'm like, everyone's talking about it. Uh... no research. I watched like the trailer and stuff and I'm like everyone's talking about it. And then, so I started playing it. And at first I was like, oh, I'm dying. So much I hate this. This is a souls game. Nobody told me about this. This sucks. Why did I buy this game? This is stupid. Then I figured out some things like how to get like real powerful. I figured out that first of I picked an astrologer as my as my build with zero information about what that meant. Okay. Just like I'm like this guy seems cool. He's got a cool robe. Turns out the astrologer is the perfect type of character for me because I can do ranged attacks and I fucking love a ranged attack. That's what I did a astrologer is the perfect type of character for me, because I can do ranged attacks and I fucking love a ranged attack. That's what I did, astrologer,

because you wanna be able to cast it early in the game. Yeah, you can cast. You can cast. I took me a while to be like, I'm like, what is going on? What are these controls? I hate this so much. Yeah, the controls really,

they take a minute to get down. When you have them down, they're great, and they feel great. Yeah. But at first, you're like, oh they feel great. But at first you're like, oh no, I did that, and there's no one doing it. You're like, I dragged my potion. I want to throw something. No, I ran out of energy,

because I have no HP, because I dragged my potion accidentally for no reason. I still do that all the time. I still do that all the time. I still do that all the time. I still do that all the time. I still do that all the time, but I still do that all the time. But, but, but, it, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I still do that all the time, but, but, but it I have been playing it. I have played it for like

65 hours, okay? I've been like ruining my sleep schedule, staying up late, playing this game, and I am, I've been obsessed with it. I'm like legitimately like I Can't believe how good it is what it reminds me of in many ways is Reminds me of Fallout 3 which was like one of my all-time favorite games in that Fallout 3 there was a lot of time Where you could just walk around and just see stuff, check stuff out. And this game is like, first off, it's one of the most beautiful games I've ever seen in my entire life. It is just like breathtaking. There are places in this game that I go and I'm like, this is so awesome and beautiful and weird and otherworldly.

And I mean, there are parts of it that feel like a horror movie, you know? Really feel like, I'm like, wow, this is like a horror movie. Like I feel scared for my life here. And it's frustrating, but once you get to kind of in the rhythm of it, it becomes like a tolerable, for the most part tolerable frustration. That it's what builds up for the big dopamine release

if we're being honest. When you do have a success, you feel really accomplished because it's hard. No, it's very hard. It's very hard. It's very hard. And anyway, so yeah, I mean, there's not a lot to say because people have said everything you can possibly think to say about Eldenring except to say that it's a real triumph

and I love it and I've been playing it a lot. And that is why we've been unable to podcast for several months because I'm sorry, I've just been busy. I also really loved about Elden Ring that it's so filled with quality storytelling from different kinds of artists and that the world is so populated with quality. It's not just like, like I really enjoy the Witcher 3, right? And I enjoyed Cyberpunk for what it was and I enjoy a lot of, I like open-world games and Breath of the Wild obviously, fucking kingshit.

However, sometimes, not sometimes. When Ubisoft makes these games, it is just a pile of stuff. They make a map, some of which is very detailed and some of which is just done to connect the very detailed parts. And then they just fill it with crap. They're like, you can collect these pots

and now we've got a scroll. And you know, someone wrote out a scrap from a novel that exists in this world. And you're only going to read half a chapter. We've got five of those. And you need to put them together, and they don't add up to anything. You won't learn anything.

It's like, what the fuck? And then Elden Ring comes along and tells us, oh, guess what? If you, if it doesn't need to be this way, there's no reason, technically, technologically, that's limiting us from creating an open world that feels alive and full of things and has had a history. And it's, other girls should be worried about what just happened because I can't imagine purchasing an Assassin's

Creed game when this game exists and you could just pour another hundred hours into this game Right, yeah, it should really shake people up and I think that's partly why they're pulling back on their call of duty releases every year because they're realizing that like People are getting savvier and they're not so wowed by the yearly release that they're like guess what? It's in Tehran instead of you know wherever else And and finally I think we're getting, I don't know, and also like, it's not packed with gotcha mechanics, it's not packed with casino shit,

it's not packed with micro transactions on top of micro transactions. Grand Turismo, this is really fucked up. So Grand Turismo, reviewers got copies of the game, played the game, reviewed the game, and then Sony a week later turned on all of the in-game But as a matter of fact, the game was played, the game was played, the game was played, the game was played, the game was played, the game was played, the game was played,

the game was played, the game was played, the game was played, the game was played, the game was played, the game was played, the game was played, the game was played, the game was played, the game was played, the game was played, the game was played, the game was played, the game was played, the game was played, the game was played,

the game was played, the game was played, the game was played, the game was played, the game was played, the game was played, the game was played, the game was played, the game was played, the game was played, the game was played, the game was played, the game was played, the game was played, the game was played, the game was played, the game was played, the game was played, the game was played, the game was played right after they did that, the online service went down. These people who have been paying through the nose for cars, by the way, the same car designs are available over on Forza

for like five bucks. And they, in order to try to fix this and how they've bumped up the prices to be so insane, and you can only purchase in GameCurrency of course, in packs, in like packs. So you'll always have like the hot dog problem about if too many hot dog buns and not enough hot dogs. So I got hot dogs and I've got too many hot dogs and not enough buns, so I buy more buns.

Yeah, sure. They do that. And Sony obviously is called and told brought to test for this. But it doesn't matter because they already made the money from this. But, like, it doesn't matter because they already made the money from the big whales, like the people who they were gonna overcharge anyway. I mean, like no child was ever spending $45 for some fucking 1980s car.

Like that was only gonna be a billionaire or whoever was gonna do that. Some fucking millionaire. But, then they retroactively changed it so that it's slightly less aggressive, but it's still very aggressive and gave everyone a free million dollars to spend in games. They're like, here, pick out yourself a couple of VW Beatles and stop complaining. And it really pisses me off because it's not just that it's deceitful and it doesn't

allow reviewers to be transparent with the audience about what they're purchasing, right? It also pisses me off because like, there's a great game in here. Like, there is a beautiful, the graphics are beautiful. There's so much detail work. Like, they really have a giant database of cars and showrooms and the music is great. And like, there's so many aspects of it that are so good that clearly the developers

put a lot of work and care into making good. And it's completely ruined by the economic exploitation that's been like slathered on top. Even though you've course like it never works, it makes a bunch of money. In the short term, it'll make them like probably a few, like a few, a few million or whatever, right up top on some whales who are buying stuff. And then after that, I guess their plan is to just milk out kids who get control of their

parents credit cards or something. It ruins a beautiful game. And this game doesn't have any of that. And it is expensive, but you are certainly getting banged for your buck entertainment-wise. And it's a good reminder that like games do not need, I mean, the game does have big online features, which are interesting, but it doesn't need like head-to-head

battle royale matchmaking. It doesn't need gotcha mechanics. It doesn't need casino shit. It doesn't need like head-to-head battle royale matchmaking. It doesn't need gotcha mechanics. It doesn't need casino shit. It doesn't need an in-game like micro transaction economy. It doesn't need like it's just a good game. And it's a good reminder of what games used to be. It used to be you got a copy of the Legend of Zelda and you popped it in your Nintendo and like,

you know, like this shit fucking rips. Now it is you don't do that. You wait for 90 DLC packs and you have to put it in. I hate the modern game concept. I hate, I hate, it's so, so many bad versions of this. I mean, I see it, I mean, constantly when Zelda's got a game on like the iPad, it's like these mechanics are all just terrible. All of the motivations, all of the ways that they're set up.

I mean, all these like, you know, freemium or like you pay a little bit, but then you have to pay some more or whatever, done locks and stuff, but also like on the adult side of gaming, it's sort of the same thing where it's like, I, you know, I think things should end. Like, it's okay to have a game that has like a beginning, middle, and end, but like, make it really good. Like, I'll pay you any amount of money for a great gaming experience. It doesn't have to be endless, and I understand they're milking money. Also, every game's like, everybody's like, it's gotta be Fortnite.

Every game's like, we gotta make it Fortnite. It's gotta be a platform. Everything's gotta be a platform. We're gonna get A-Sop Rocky on here. And you can tell you shoes. I like that I like that. I want to play video games. I don't want to go shopping.

I like that Elm Ring is feels like a very solitary experience. I know there's all these weird, I don't even understand how the multiplayer is. So I'm with people like you got to use finger to invade people's realms. I'm not doing that. I have enough pro. I have big enough problems. They're like invite over someone to help you team up online. Now I'm not going to do that. enough pro. I have big enough problems. They're like invite over someone to help you

Team up online now. I'm not gonna do that. I would rather not ever I am curious about it. I am curious about it. Vading. I am curious about it. Vading somebody's world and killing them I think that somebody did invade my world Actually was pretty psyched somebody invaded my world I'm like I'm gonna get fucking killed and then I totally wiped the guy out I feel like he was like some newbie who like did not understand the concept or whatever. But I'm like, I turned the offline,

I turned the features offline. So I thought I was offline. So like, it's like, I'm like, why are people even able to show up here? Which is a weird experience. Yeah. Any rate that guy dies. It's weird whenever you think you're alone

and then you're not alone. That is an unsettling. I think that's true in both Elden Ring, the video game and also in real life where we live supposedly. So yeah, no, it's great. And it shows that there is a lot left to be unearthed in games, in gaming and gaming experiences. And also, also there's some sick shit in it. Like it's one of the most upsetting games I've ever played, like just from a purely like visual vibe level. There's just, you get to some areas and you're like, no, I don't wanna be here.

Like it's like a horror movie. It is like scary. In a good way. They play with your assumptions a lot, which I like. Yeah, I still don't know what the story is or anything. I still don't really understand what I'm supposed to be doing or how I get to like, I've killed a lot of really large things, but I guess I have only killed one real boss.

No, two bosses, the yellow, what's his name? Marget took his ass out and then Godric, the graftola, what's his name? Marget took his ass out and then Goddric the grafted, is that his name? Oh, yeah. And now I'm trying to kill the witch, but she's pretty tough. And I don't know, what's her name? Ronnie, maybe I want to say.

Take that bitch down. The whatever, the one who's got the fetus, you know the chick with the fetus in the orb Magical fetus in the orb. She's a castle. She's it Raya Lucaria. I don't know if you've been there It's a complete shit show nightmare hell world that nobody should ever have to step foot into And these are places after noon there These are places I go in a video game. This is just normal places. I mean, I went, I got fucking transported early in the game when I was weak, a little weakling,

to this fucking mine with these bug people, the single worst enemy in the game in my opinion. Oh, these like huge multi-armed like bug men Bug people. Let's not be all a gender them. Miss gender them. Uh Bug thing. Bug things. They're just so gross and they shoot this stuff at you that you can't get away from it Like you can hit you around walls and stuff and I died so many times. You get like sneak pass them anyhow But I find like I don't like those things on the beach, those black goo. Oh, no.

Oh, no, but then I finally, I gotta tell you, I finally got powerful enough and I would have discovered it's actually a great rune farming area once you get like a little bit more powerful. Even though the bug men still have killed me many, many times in horrible, disgusting, angrily ways. I mean, I get so angry sometimes at this game, I'm like, you motherfucker,

but it's all part of the process of learning to accept Jesus into my life. So, all right. So when you ring, you need to be worried about is your chastity ring, okay? Be kind of God, speaking of God, and the devil, who is the character, probably I assume, at some point you reach in Elden Ring Both of them you have to kill both God and the devil and Elden Both played by Colin Farrell. It's a great game. It's terrific. He's got a unbelievable prosthetics

Tips we heard him did you watch the Oscars? I Watched the clips afterward, but I did not tune into the Oscars. The show itself has gotten very not about movies. I was watching the Batman during the Oscars, ironically. I don't really care. I was recording a podcast about something else, which I got a bunch of text messages about the slap, and I was like, stop this podcast, I will come back. You're like, hour.

They're finally rebootedoting my favorite NBC show. No, I went full like Oracle. Like I was like, I need to know all the info. I was like looking at all the cams and then eventually came to the startling realization that both of these people are gonna be fine and kind of not in my business. I popped on home with Lindeie Vning.

I looked at Twitter, I saw what had happened with, you know, very little context and I did a tweet, which I stand by, which is like, there's something I'm very uncool about a guy who can't take a joke. And I do think like, now, there are a lot of, now here's what happened if you don't know folks. Will Smith and Jada, no.

Jada Pinkett Smith, who are a married couple, were in the audience of the Oscars and Chris rock was Presenting I guess an award or something and he I guess he looked over it at will and jayda and jayda has his ball is like has a shaved head like And and he said something about like GI Jane GI Jane 2 now I now apparently she has alopecia which is a but a thing that caused your hair to fall out or thin your hair to thinner i don't really know much about it i mean because i don't have anything like that i have a beautiful thick head of middle-aged band hair which definitely is not thinning anywhere and i will not be getting plugs

anytime soon but like but i guess that's the case. And so we'll Smith, uh, he got up out of his seat. Now the joke to be clear, the joke was not like, I mean, you know, I guess like, you know, I don't know comedians, they say all kinds of, they say the damn things. Be some, I mean, listen, don't talk about black women's hair and probably don't know comedians they say all kinds of they say the damn things the some i mean listen don't talk about black women's hair and probably don't make jokes about people's diseases whether or not you know i mean Chris rock is a was a black comedian i think if it's her that's his if

he wants to go for and he's a man sure but like you know comedians this is what they do they say she i get about about i'm just saying i think with all of that aside and noting it there's got to be some personal shift between the three and that. Well, there is some history. Apparently there's some history that he made fun of her at an earlier Oscars in 2016. I was reading on TMZ one of my best websites.

I don't know if you've seen it. But no, but listen, I don't think the joke was good or funny or nice. Okay. I think the joke was rude and stupid. But not funny. Like, not funny. 2022, we're gonna just do that. It's a stupid joke. It's a stupid joke.

It's a stupid joke and rude, okay? For whatever reason. Now, did he know that she had a condition? I don't know. Was he just like, oh, up, Jade is like shaved her head, like kind of J.I.J. style, I'm a comedian and I'm thinking I'm a feet and I'm gonna make a joke about it. I have no idea. We can agree that the joke's stunk and was rude.

Sure, whatever. But Will Smith walks up on stage and he slapped Chris Rock like hit him in the face. Like Bugs Bunny walking up to Elmer Fud, like with a glove, like with a real slap. Like a slap, like a proper slap. And B C's the slap. And then he went and sat down and then yelled several times to keep his wife's name out

of Chris rock Chris rock should keep his wife's name out of his fucking mouth is something like that and he seemed very upset and like in a way that you know, I don't know like I will Smith. I don't know a lot about Will Smith, I've never, I guess I've never seen him really mad, like in real life. And I was like, ah, like he seems kinda like, really, he's losing it. I just think he's a good guy. I don't know, I've seen him on red table talk,

and he's over there. Yes, I've never watched him. A emotional man. I think he's an intense guy. And I, my vibe was, I'll be honest with you, my, when I saw the fuller clip with him Unedited with him screaming but I actually the part that was to me was more upsetting was not the slap It was like the screaming part where I felt like it was like kind of scary like kind of just felt like

Just like when you've ever seen anybody lose their temper in a way that you're like, yeah, like I don't want to be in this room right now You know what I mean? It was like, really, he was really very angry. They both are famous and rich and attractive, but it's tough, somebody tweeted this, but it's tough when one person in the relationship is cooler than the other. And like, Will Smith is not, he's a lot of things, the man has never cursed on radio.

You know what I mean? He's not like, who? Right, right. And I think that that's probably put, that's where fucking other people definitely puts a strain on their relationship. Well, I think, and I think, listen, obviously, there's a lot of backdrop, but my main thing is just this,

like, so I saw a lot of people, now again, to your point, there are things about this, I mean, the conversation, the content conversation got so big on the internet about like, this is about women and it's about People are about this is the lens about toxic masculinity. It's about Zolinsky. It's about 9.11 It's about like I'm like alright. Okay, everybody take it. It's like all my perception of it was simply this that you can be upset or mad or or very offended on behalf of your partner, but like I

very offended on behalf of your partner. But like, I just think generally speaking, as a society, like I understand, I get the reasons why there are people who are like, that was great, I loved that. But I just think, when I think about the stuff that like kids see and model, like what I don't want, what I don't want my kid to see in model and what I hope I can like show them

is that I'm not gonna like resort to violence because of like words that somebody says. Like that there's another way, there's a better way to counter it and it's not like escalating to violence because I just think like, and I'm just saying this in the abstract like to me was shocking is just like there are a hundred different ways I can imagine him addressing that including staying where he was seated and Saying something or just what I have done probably is like

Pulled Chris Rock aside after the segment and been like listen that's super fucked up And I don't you should never do that again. It's really offensive or whatever he might say, which I assume they eventually did have some conversation about, I don't know. I just think it's like, I just saw a lot of people on Twitter who were like, violence is the answer. And like, there are places where violence is the answer. I do think it does happen. Like, I guess like if it's a Nazi,

and they're killer, be killed scenario. It's like a killer be killed. Obviously, if it's like a Nazi and there's killer be killed scenario. It's a killer be killed. Obviously, if it's a Nazi spouting hate speech, I think there's probably some special allowances there. But I think the joke was in Portaise, it was rude, it was insensitive. None of that warranted physical violence. And I just feel like we'd all be better off

if our instincts weren't generally speaking to try to ever escalate. We were not escalating things to violence because I just feel like you can only go up, you know, it's like you go up from there and the further you get up that food chain, the worse it gets. And it would have been better to, and of course, we're, you know, post-game coaching, Will Smith, and he probably hasn't gotten emotional. Definitely.

Or maybe they'd say they're starving. I mean he might have just been hungry You know starving will these never have been not been brought crafty before yeah But I think Probably the best way for him to have handled it would have been to like accept his fucking Academy Award And then after would make a joke like and you make another joke about my wife's hair and I'm gonna You know I'll flap you even go up on stage and say Hey, don't do that just be like listen. That's super fucking rude and here's why or whatever which probably would have been Made Chris rock look even worse and make him feel even worse than the slap you know what I mean

Yeah, this is not weirdly makes everyone mad at you. It doesn't have anything done. It makes the situation it's like, okay, I'm not rooting for anybody here. That's the weird things. People are like, hell yes. I tweet, I was like, yeah, I just feel like he couldn't handle the joke and that's what to me is a very uncool.

What was weird is everyone's like, I'm team Jada or I'm team will or I'm sure Jada was so I'm sure Jada was so embarrassed. I mean, from what I know of the women in my life, they do not think it's cool when shit like that happened. Jada and Beyonce must be in a group chat being like, please stop embarrassing us in public. How can we stop our men from embarrassing us in public? So very weird. Combo. Anyhow, but but yeah, so but but what I think I was like, that's a very weird combo. Anyhow, but yeah, so, but what to mean, I was gonna say all the team stuff was weird to me

because it's like, you don't have to pick aside in every conflict and also like, no one won here, there's no winner. This is just a bad choice that Will Smith made after Chris Rock made a bad choice. You don't have to be like, I'm team anybody. There's no teams. We're just guys, be cool. Stop being fucking weird.

Yeah, it's um, like, yeah, to me, what was upsetting actually was not even the thing that happened. It was just that people were like, what would you do if someone insulted your wife? And it's like, I probably not slap them. Like, I probably be like, you're dumb, or that's stupid, or I don't care.

Like, go fuck my wife. You know what, I mean, you know what, like what I found, what I found generally speaking, is the more you, the more you like, you know, the more you,, you know, the more you react to somebody who's giving you shit, the more they think, oh, okay, I can make this person react and I'm gonna give them more shit. I know it's like don't feed the trolls or whatever,

but it is true that I've never seen a lot of huge upside from being like, let me engage with this complete piece of shit. As I was once told by an old boss of mine, what was the exact quote, I've definitely said in the podcast before it was, I was getting into an argument with about, I don't know, something I did about, with Michael Wolfe, I want to say, is that the guy who wrote Fire and Fury?

Yes. He was like a media reporter at the USA Today or whatever, and I guess like his whole thing was, he hates digital media, so anybody ever did anything in digital media, he'd give them shit. We got into it on Twitter over something, I remember what, and, um, and he has somebody said to me, you know, never wrestle with a pig and shit. The pig loves it and you get covered in shit. Yeah, basically, it's like I had to stop tweeting at Michael Tracy. Yeah.

There it is and there it is folks. Uh, no, but I was like, yeah, it's good advice. I mean, I sometimes don't always heat it, but it's um, you know, you know, it's good advice. I think if you could avoid, you know, if you can avoid talking to that person who's being a complete annoying loser, that probably is the worst thing for them because they don't get the attention that they so desperately crave. Though I do think in this case, I'm sure there was a conversation worth having though. It's just the slap thing just made it so hard to navigate

like what should have happened because I just don't think, yeah, I'm whatever. It's like, hey, whatever, it happened. But generally speaking, I feel like we should endeavor to not slap if we can. And instead endeavor to hug. Yeah. Also white people got real weird about it.

Oh yeah, white people, I definitely, I wanna say, as a white person, I feel my tweet was very neutral. I didn't have a big hot take. My take was just like, it's always just seems bad to me when somebody's like reacts really badly to a joke. A lot of white guys being like, this is the reason for intersting. Oh boy, oh boy, this is really brandy. There was a bad, there was a bad, there was some real bad

tweets. I mean, just the problem Twitter, we don't have to comment on everything. You should not have a megaphone connected to your brain. This is the problem with Twitter is like, I think the dumbest shit all the time. I mean, I think I have so many dumb thoughts on a regular basis. And, you know, if I tweeted them, oh God, oh, good. That's what I mean.

That's what I just, I find out every day that a word means something I thought that it did not mean. And that's like, you know, that's what it is. But that's why I avoid using words I don't know. I don't talk about subjects that you don't fucking know anything about. Exactly.

We don't know these people, we don't know the inner workings. I can tell you how it made me feel in like what I thought would have been a better strategy. But like, I don't know if Chris Rock has been, you know, taken massive dumps in their lobby or whatever. I don't know. That's exactly what's been going on.

Yeah, maybe it's been like a targeted harassment campaign for a decade. Getting dead horses heads in the best way. No idea. Chris Rock is actually like a completely psychotic. He's preparing to play the Joker. Yeah. That could be interesting.

That's interesting. That is actually interesting. Anyhow, all right, we should wrap up because we should I'm this a quick one. Anyhow, but we should tell people because everybody's wondering Ryan what happened to the podcast. Are we as one? We got into a massive argument just like a big fight. I slapped Ryan right across the face and you said, you never ever, ever mentioned Laura

or her haircut ever again. That's right. Wow. No, here's what happened. We've just been sidetracked with a ton of stuff. We've been super busy with these other projects that we're working on. Also, I no longer work at inputs.

You no longer work at input, which is very sad for input, but actually for you, I think, is exciting. Going great. Going great. Love input. We still read it. Big supporter, however.

Still sending us emailing us to when there's a typo being like, I couldn't help but notice. No, he doesn't do that. And he has said that. He actually said the voice memo with that. Get very close today to emailing someone a gocker telling them that there was a pronoun wrong, but when I refresh the page they call it. Thank God. Thank God.

No, but we lost our point on and Ryan is to organize. Yes. And also, I should say that we are going to, this is sort of like a, let's give everybody an update and also I have to talk about the Batman, but we are going to, we're taking a bit of a break. There are things that we're both working on that are very exciting. I have YouTube stuff and a podcast coming out

with a Patreon and all this content that will be coming out, but it means that the amount of time I spend doing content creation stuff right now is enormous. And I don't have a ton of output because I'm trying to gear up for something. And it means that like doing pods like this I really do want to do every week It's just like finding the time to schedule and then edit and everything else. It really is like a day of work

Yeah, it's a lot. It's a lot. I mean people don't realize it because it seems like we're very lazy and bad at this But we actually put a lot of time But we actually put a lot of time into it. So that's why you. And then, you know, and so I've got stuff I'm working on, obviously, you know, the input in-versa and Gokker and Mike are constantly filling my days. But I think we'll have some, both of us will have some cool, exciting new things

to talk about in the near future. The listeners of this will hear about them. I think, you know, it's not goodbye forever. Just kind of like extending our break that we've been on and you know, we'll see. We'll see you in a bit. We'll see you when we have a chance to breathe. Obviously, we love the fact that people are like,

hey, where's the show? And, you know, there will be more shows, more content. But we're both working on stuff, other stuff at the moment. So we're sort of like let's wheel this back you've been here before to any you know what it but it you know what it is what the show can't be killed that's really what it is to show is like back like a show is like a lot reminds me a lot

of uh... jason for he's uh... who is kills teenagers in the film Friday the 13th. Like Jason Voorhees, we have been involved in several murders of teenagers and also like Jason Voorhees. We just pop back up at the end of every movie and continue killing teens.

So I think that's pretty much where we're headed for the future. This is great, I'm glad that I recorded those words. I think that's a great benefit to both of us anyhow so look we're gonna go but we'll be back will keep you updated uh... you know don't

be surprised if next week there isn't another tomorrow uh... podcast uh... and my but my nice thing to leave you with oh yeah assignment until the next time is, go see everything everywhere all at once. It's a perfect film. I loved it. I cried, I laughed, I cheered, I'm taking my dad, he's coming into the city and I'm taking him

to see it on Saturday because I felt very close to him even though he wasn't there. So I want to watch it with him. It's like, I gotta see it. I gotta see it. My nice thing is of course, another acquisition, I got a rowing machine. Oh, did you? Oh my God, yeah. I got a rowing machine. Oh, did you?

Oh my God, yeah. I got a... I am so, I'm like Robert Pattinson right now from a bass and a huge jaw. You've only been exercising with your jaw. I've been using my jaw to pull the thing back, whatever they call it, the rowing thing. I got this, he's made back in the car.

Water rowers. No, they're not oars, it's like a thing. It got this, he's made back in the water. Water rowers. No, they're not oars, it's like a thing. It's like a stick with a attach to a string. Like, I don't know what it's called. I'm sure it has a name, but anyhow, I've been very into rowing. And so now I look like a cuthunk. Oh, good for you.

Yeah, it's great. It's transformation. All right, I gotta get out of here. My drink is empty and it's time to get back to it. All right, you know, but this's great. It's transformation. All right, I gotta get out of here. My drink is empty and it's time to get back to it. All right. But it's just great. You know, Ryan, I think I really enjoyed our time together and I'm sure the Tony did as well.

And I'm glad that I can leave people with the feeling that I've completely shit on the new Batman movie because I feel like that's what the fans want. So the listeners really need it. It's what they decided to hear you shit on a movie. They probably like it. It's what they crave. It's what the to the fans want that the listeners really needed what they said it to hear you should on a movie they probably it's what they crave but they crave uh... anyhow

alright alright get out of here by Well, that is our show. We'll be back next week in the future. And as always, I wish you and your family the very best. And I really believe that everything is going to be just fine. you