Toni and Ryan - 0 to 100 Toni
Episode Date: December 12, 2022Things you can say at CHRISTMAS DINNER and also in the bedroom. Plusssssss another installment of 0-100 Toni. Love ya! Toni xoxox Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you jo...in our Facebook Group! Plus you can find the links to pre-order Toni's book here! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Welcome to the podcast.
My name is Ryan, the vice captain of the ship, Tony.
Yes.
Author.
Yes.
Lodge.
Is that what you have?
Lodge.
And we are calling Hannah, who is in London.
Oh, hello, Hannah.
You sound like you're from London.
Oh.
Say that to her.
Yeah.
Hello?
Hello, Hannah.
Hello, is this the author, Tony?
Oh, yes it is Yes it is
Oh, that's really made my day, thank you
Hannah, will you approve the podcast?
I will absolutely approve the podcast
Yes
It's Hannah from London
and I approve this podcast.
All right, coming up today, zero to 100, Tony.
Don't fucking.
No, I'm joking.
That may be disputed by some.
Before we get into things you can say during Christmas dinner and also in the bedroom,
Tony, you're wearing a T-shirt that says...
I don't need to buy you presents.
I'm already a gift.
And you are a gift.
Thank you.
Mine says, I'm only here for the Christmas lunch.
And that is fucking relatable.
Yeah.
There's some little mince pies on there as well,
which is lovely, isn't it?
There is. Some people pronounce little mince pies on there as well, which is lovely, isn't it? There is.
Some people pronounce them mince pies, but not a company in Sweden, we learnt.
Yeah.
At least they didn't spell it right.
Yeah, and I prefer a mince pie to a mince pie, actually.
I find them too sweet.
Tis the season.
Tits the season.
Tits the season.
But this is things you can say at Christmas dinner and also in the bedroom.
Oh, grandma, you sure you can fit all that in?
Crazy granny.
Your only small girlfriend.
Grandma, Tony, my wife, so many people coming today.
And all ladies.
Yeah.
Really nice of you.
Yeah, it is.
I'm a feminist.
This is for when you're doing the Christmas cracker.
Okay.
Will you grab this and pull?
My dad doesn't want to do it with me, so will you do it?
Call me a bonbon because if you keep pulling me,
I'll explode on this table.
Oh, the little toy fell out.
Oh, no.
I hate that.
It always happens when you're almost there.
This is for while you're sitting down at Christmas dinner
or Christmas lunch and someone has vegetables on their plate
and they, you know, happen to get thrown in the air
and they land on you.
Hang on, who's throwing vegetables in the air?
Me at my family Christmas, we throw the plates at the fan.
Oh, I got pee in my eye.
Pee in the eye.
You got gravy in all my rolls.
How good's gravy?
Yeah.
Like, fuck.
And Christmas gravy is the best because you actually put effort into it.
It's not just like the instant gravy.
Like, you use the fat and everything.
Yeah, and it's thick and a little bit of texture.
So good.
I feel like a fresh white bread roll with butter just dipped in gravy.
I mean, keep the vegetables and the meat at home.
That'll do me.
Leave the pee in your eye.
Yeah, that'll do me.
What a good- looking piece of meat.
Been on the spit all morning.
Last Christmas, sex in the morning.
I remember the first time I ever had sex on Christmas Day.
Did it feel wrong?
It was like a really big moment. Was it? Yeah, because it was like... Did it feel wrong? It was like a really big moment.
Was it?
Yeah, because it was like.
Did it feel wrong?
Yeah.
This is supposed to be a holy day.
It's a.
My holy day.
Which hole in your day?
But like, doesn't that feel like a bit naughty and a bit weird?
Yeah.
Do you remember the first time you had sex on Christmas?
Yeah.
It's weird, right?
It's not for me.
And then you have to, like, go to lunch with your family
and you're like, oh, I didn't do anything this morning.
Yeah, well, because you're not doing it after lunch or after dinner.
Absolutely not.
You've got to get a bread and gravy roll over each other.
Well, the turkey won't be the only thing getting stuffed, apparently.
I'll be basting myself in your juices.
I'll render your fat off.
Fuck, this bird is moist.
It's better than it being dry, though, isn't it?
Nothing worse than a dry bird on Christmas.
I've always said that.
Not a problem for you, eh, big guy?
You never have to worry about
a dry bird when you're around.
Should we say a prayer
before we get started? Yes.
Pray to God.
For this
bounty we're about to receive.
Give me my hand back.
When my family does it, we need a talking stick
because they're all just way too loud.
Yep, my family actually does need a talking stick.
That is a real thing.
Oh, Grandma, I hope I'm good one day at performing
for this many people as you are.
Just need the practice.
It's a bit daunting doing it for that many people in one day, isn't it?
It really is.
Yeah.
We're hosting for the first time this year
and I'm scared that I'm going to have to say,
I'm sorry about all the mess, Grandma.
This is for when you're putting on the paper hat that comes out
of the Christmas cracker, but also a condom.
It doesn't look like this little hat's going to do anything.
They're always breaking.
They always break.
A head like yours.
Split right open.
Don't forget to tie her up before you stuff it.
Tie up the legs.
Fuck.
After that, I'm going to sleep all afternoon.
One of the great traditions.
I can't fit another thing in.
How good's a fucking Christmas nap?
Yeah.
And then when you go swimming after you wake up and it's like,
oh, my God, the best feeling.
How good you got a pool on Christmas?
Yep.
Fuck, that's elite.
It is. Oh, you're
such a grown up. I went for a swim before I went to bed last
night and I was sans pants.
Then snuck into bed. You had your pool noodle out.
Pool noodle and then
went to bed and it was just so cool.
Because you were just like, your core temperature was
way down. I'm so fucking jealous.
Can I move in? I invited you on the
weekend and you didn't come.
And that's not what I'm...
Oh, Tony.
Are you sure your name's Tony?
Yeah.
I feel like your name must be
Ham because I want to put my glaze all
over you.
It's obviously
double smoke because I'm going to need a cigarette after that.
Should we smoke this ham?
Smoke my huck.
My boyfriend and I normally do this with a different family every year,
but this year we're doing it by ourselves.
I'm glad for you and the family, to be honest.
I always like to wear an apron when I'm prepping
because I hate getting the shit all over my clothes.
So on a recent episode of our favourite YouTuber, Alison Roman.
Yes.
She has a fun shirt on and then she's like,
oh, I don't want to get this dirty, I'm going to get changed.
And the guy says, oh, we'll just get an apron.
And she goes, aprons are a lie and a myth.
I kind of agree.
And when I heard it, I was like, yeah.
I mean, if you're getting dirty, you're getting dirty.
It only covers the front, which I guess is like.
How do you cook?
No, but like if you go to like wipe your hands.
Yeah.
You never do it on the front.
Yeah.
You kind of wipe on your pants or something.
Absolutely.
So, like, it's not a natural, like, you need one of those art smocks
that you wear in primary school, like the plastic bag
that goes over your whole body.
My cooking smock?
Oh, can someone help me wash this up?
It's too much for me to handle on my own.
Everyone said they'd give me a helping hand if I hosted this year.
Hey, it's Hannah from London and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive shout out to a few of our champion tapas over at our Patreon.
Nathan Philippen, thank you so much.
Jackie Ha, cheers.
We love you.
Jackie's been around forever.
So has Rebecca Chartau.
Courtney Cunningham and Amanda Dalton.
Fucking love yous.
Thank you so much.
Thanks for getting around us.
Oh, sorry. Sorry, I said um and then I took a sip of yous. Thank you so much. Thanks for getting around us. Oh, sorry.
Sorry, I said um and then I took a sip of my drink.
Do you want us to wait?
No, actually, I don't.
Sorry, that was really rude.
That was really rude.
You know what I was thinking about the other day?
What?
Oh.
Just a good ice going.
Sorry, were you saying something?
Sorry.
Did you want to talk about?
Oh, God.
Sorry, I did it again.
Hey, tomorrow on the show, I actually asked for help from the Tarpers
about your Christmas present because.
Oh, for the secret.
Don't tell me who you got the secret.
Fuck, fuck.
Oh, my God.
No.
Christmas is ruined.
For the person I got.
For the person you got.
Yeah.
On Friday, we'll be giving each other the presents on the video.
Like whoever got whoever, the presents will be passed out
on the Friday video show.
But tomorrow on the show we're going to go through some
of the suggestions that people had.
Oh.
No, don't.
The ones that didn't make the cut.
No.
That's what I wanted, a big list of options.
Yeah.
But what I didn't realise that the tapas would go,
oh, what a perfect opportunity to roast Tony and or Ryan
in any way possible and give zero suggestions.
Why did they roast me?
I didn't do anything.
Just some of the things they thought you might have wanted.
Oh, fuck off.
Thank you.
So that's tomorrow on the show.
But today.
So I didn't want to tell you this story, I'll be honest.
Yep.
And then on the weekend you came over to my house to record
over 150 Personal Lines videos, which was a task.
You're welcome.
Everybody's gotten those over the week.
I really didn't want to tell you this story.
And then Torb's told you.
Yep.
There are some things that I like to keep private.
Wow.
And I bet this was one of them.
And only because I look like a fucking asshole.
Yeah.
So I hate.
Everyone knows that zero to 100 Tony is a real person
who can go from quite calm to fucking outraged in a...
She is a part of me.
She is you.
She is me.
You are and I am her.
I'm actually genuinely embarrassed because this does not make me sound good
and I don't even know if I can defend myself, but I'm going to try.
Try as you might.
We will never know.
Yeah.
I thought you might have just pled guilty and accepted the charges.
I don't think I can plead guilty for this one
because I'm going to offer some context and see what happens.
Please.
In this court of law, even the most credulous man,
whatever that thing is that you said,
we are getting to the end of the year.
that thing is like you said.
We are getting to the end of the year.
Everybody is dragging their fucking ass over the finish line right now.
Everyone's in the exact same boat.
Everyone in the world, let's just get to Christmas.
Like, and you can't, it's a bit of a phone at in time, right,
where you kind of go, oh, could you send me that email?
And people go, oh, might get to it after Christmas.
Like for some reason it's just like, oh, do it next year. It's this weird like free pass that people get.
It's this huge area in December.
Oh, that's a fucking next year task.
You know, it's a bit of a fucking mulligan.
You go, oh, it's fucking love.
Yep, you're right.
That's all right.
And we're getting to the end of the year.
I'm really exhausted.
And also I'd like to add another thing.
It's really hot at the moment.
It is.
We've had our first few really hot days in Melbourne
and it hasn't been hot for fucking almost a whole year.
Like we have the longest winter ever and it's getting really hot
and our house gets fucking hot and we don't have aircon.
Yeah.
We only have aircon in one room.
And it's not awesome.
It's not great.
Yeah, and the one thing about having a massive courtyard,
and this isn't me like taking the piss about your massive courtyard,
there's a lot of concrete.
When the sun hits the concrete, the concrete heats up.
It heats up.
So our house gets really hot and I don't do that well in the heat.
Like me getting hot.
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I would like you to know it was a warm day
and I do not do well in the heat.
Thank you.
And I think that that is a good defence.
I think that's a solid defence. No, that is not my only defence. Fuck, I do not do well in the heat. Thank you. And I think that that is a good defence. I think that's a solid defence.
Is that your only defence?
No, that is not my only defence.
Fuck, I hope not.
But being really tired end of the year, the house is really hot.
Okay.
So remember those two things with love as I tell you the rest.
I will also give you a pass that your internet's been playing up.
The other day you and I were on a Zoom call and it dropped out so many times
that you messaged me and said, we're done.
Like you cut me off.
You were like, it's fine.
We don't need to chat anymore.
Well, I can see you getting angry.
Because I was – and then –
Nothing sends you more – and by you I mean people.
Anyone, yeah.
When the internet's slow and you're just like,
I just want to fucking do this fucking thing.
I just had so much shit to do.
And my – also at my house, my phone doesn't work.
And your dog's been biting shit.
Oh, the dog is chewing.
She's about to turn one.
She's at that age.
All right, so I'm giving you a lot of leeway here.
But my phone doesn't work in the house.
So when our internet doesn't work, I actually can't even just hotspot
from my phone because I don't get any reception.
House is not sounding great at the moment.
Maybe we should move.
Yeah.
Okay, so please everybody remember those three things.
Torbs is sitting on the couch with his laptop
and he's working on this synth thing that he's building.
So he's building all of the circuit boards from scratch,
like designing them himself.
He sends them off somewhere.
They build them and then he builds the synths around them.
Yeah, and we know he's a synth man.
He's a synth guy and he loves to soldo.
It's his whole thing.
And very early in the podcast you may remember that I explained
about how Torbz, whenever he's got a package coming,
he keeps me in the loop.
I know all the movements of the package.
Hey, Tony.
Yeah, it's just landed in Australia.
Yeah, and I'm like, oh, okay.
And then he goes, oh, I don't know why that would have taken three days
in the airport at Sydney.
You know, like he just kind of updates me on everything.
And he's been working on this project and it's similar.
He kind of goes, oh, just finish this thing.
And it's really cool because he loves it.
It makes him really happy.
And I'm like, oh, my God, mate, awesome.
Great.
I can handle, oh, just finish that thing or that bit was a bit tricky
and I finally, like, figured it out.
I can handle that.
This one night I'm tired, I'm hot, my internet's not fucking working
and he goes, oh, do you reckon this, he shows,
he, like, flips his laptop around.
He goes, do you reckon that this ding-dong and the blinky bill
would go together if the fling-flong and the crang-crong
were all on the same thing?
Like, it's gibberish to me.
Like, I don't fucking.
It didn't sound like gibberish.
It sounds like exactly what he would have said.
You're right across it, right?
The blinky bill and the ding-dong and the fling-flong.
And I go, girlfriend, I don't know those words.
So I actually can't fucking help you.
Like this is what's going through my head.
Oh, so you're not saying this out loud?
No, no, no.
Oh, no, never.
I'm like, I don't know those words.
I can't help you.
I'm fucking hot.
I'm exhausted.
I can't deal with this.
It was about 9.30 p.m.
I'm at the end of my tether.
He's asked me all these questions, and I'm kind of politely trying to go, cool, and like dismiss.
Yep.
Cool, dismiss.
Yeah, I reckon it'll be fine, mate.
I'm like not carrying on the conversation.
He asked me about the blinky bill on the ding dong
and I just fucking cracked.
Very sweetly he goes like, hey, sweetie,
what do you think about blah, blah, blah?
Before he's even finished the question, I put my hand up.
Ooh.
And I go, and I'm not proud of this.
I'm not proud of this.
Mate, I'm actually fucking maxed out for the day.
I need you to not talk to me for the rest of the night.
The hands are up.
Very defensive.
Not defensive, just like I need you to just fucking step away.
When Torbs recited
this tale to me, he said
the line was used, I'm actually not taking
questions.
I'm fucking maxed out for
the day, not taking questions, not taking comments, just
don't talk to me for the rest of the night. Don't talk
to me for the rest of the night. Which is
quite extreme. That is quite extreme. In the
cold harsh light of day. And blatant and blunt. It's not like, oh, I'm done with the night. Which is quite extreme. That is quite extreme. In the cold, harsh light of day.
And blatant and blunt.
It's not like, oh, I'm done with this chat.
I'm over that.
Mate, I can't help you with that.
Don't talk to me about any topic, any subject, or say anything towards my person in this, your house.
Just also the self-importance of being like,
I'm actually maxed out.
I'm unavailable for you right now.
It's just like so shit too.
Whilst this is a harrowing thing to say to a partner,
I reckon deep down everyone goes, I know that feeling.
Thank you.
Thank you.
We don't all act on it like you did.
No, no, no, no.
And that's fair enough.
And I was probably a bit too aggressive.
But everyone would go, like sometimes I'll be just sitting
on my phone scrolling, not because I want to look at anything.
I'm just like I just actually don't want to communicate.
It's just mindless.
I just don't want to give or receive words right now
and I just want to just think about nothing for 10 minutes.
Yeah.
And I reckon that everyone listening goes, babe, we've been there.
I get it.
Thank you.
What they wouldn't expect is that when you're in a similar mood
a few days later on the Zoom and when Pippa started biting stuff,
you screamed at her, I will put you in a microwave
if you don't stop doing that.
True or false?
Put that down.
I will put you in a microwave.
And then you threw a thong that I bought for her.
Oh, my God.
No, I didn't throw a thong at her.
I passed my Birkenstock to Torbs because there was a spider on the wall.
No, I fucking swear on my life.
I bought you that sandal.
It was actually a Birkenstock.
You bought me those Adidas slides.
So it wasn't actually the sandal that you bought, in my defence, Your Honour.
Okay.
I was more offended about my slides.
No, no, no, no.
No, no, no.
It wasn't my slides.
I was wearing Birkenstocks.
And because she was fucking chewing and nibbling and everything,
she'd rustled all of the leaves around in the garden,
and this spider crawled out,
and Torbs was standing next to me trying to get reception.
Did you say the line, I will put you in a microwave?
I did say that.
She wouldn't fit in a microwave.
Oh, a big microwave.
No stress.
She's really cute.
Yeah, but she wouldn't fit in my microwave, so no worry there.
I would never do it.
I was just so frustrated.
Obviously you'd never do it, but it's still a fucking hilarious thing
to say at the time.
It's funny, yeah.
I mean, you didn't say it as a punchline.
Do not pretend you were doing comedy.
I kind of was doing comedy.
No, I don't think so.
Well, at least I wasn't blatantly angry and said something that I would do.
Yeah.
Like imagine if someone was like, I'll hit you,
then you'd be like, whoa, that's not okay.
But, yeah, because I said it in a funny kid way.
But I promise the thong, I did not throw anything at her.
I passed my sandal to Torbs to kill the spider because she was about
to put it in her fucking mouth.
Yep.
And I once accidentally passed my car into a parked pole.
No, don't do that.
No, because genuinely I passed Torbs the thing to kill a spider.
So here's things we can confirm.
We can confirm that you said I'm not taking questions.
This wasn't all on the day as well said I'm not taking questions. This wasn't all on the day as well.
Like it's making me.
I'm not taking questions.
Yep.
I am done talking for you the rest of the night.
Yeah.
I will put you in a microwave.
So then what happens later in the evening when, I mean,
because what happens?
Does Torbs just go, okay,
and then just shuts the fuck up for the rest of the month?
Like, I mean, what?
Well, I said the night.
But it's similar to the I love you thing. It's like that that next chat whether it's the next day or later that night
like eventually someone has to go so yeah so like but like what happens is i guess um so about 45
minutes so i just like sat there and like cooled down not literally the house is still really
fucking hot um yeah but i sat there and kind of like, yeah, scrolled on my phone,
did my Duolingo, like just kind of calmed down.
And then about 45 minutes later I was like, do you want an ice cream?
And Torbs went, oh, I'm all out of talk now.
I'm glad he didn't let you just like get away with that.
Oh, no, no, no.
And I was like, I'm really sorry.
I was just feeling really overwhelmed. He was like, no, no. And I was like, I'm really sorry. I was just feeling really overwhelmed.
He was like, no, I fuck it.
I totally get it.
Sorry for like, sorry that you're feeling shit.
And it was like, I think the thing is.
Torbs, you don't have to apologise here, mate.
Exactly.
And because we don't.
That makes it worse because he's so nice.
He's so nice.
But also, I don't, does it sound like I just walk all over him?
Because that's not the thing either. Like, no i mean i'll be to your house off i know what i've seen these
eyes these eyes don't lie to me it is not like that at all uh but i was even threatened to put
you in a microwave no he hasn't and i wouldn't fit but he like not with that attitude but i don't
yeah i don't want to just sound like i'm just fucking, like, screaming at him all the time because it's not like that. It's not.
But he was very understanding, thankfully.
But it was, even with all of the things that it was hot
and I was frustrated and I was tired, I shouldn't have done it
and I regret it.
I have a question.
I'm not sorry that I got caught.
I'm sorry I did it.
Question.
I mean, that's what they all say.
I'm not sorry that I got caught.
I'm sorry I did it.
Question.
I mean, that's what they'll say.
Did you know, because obviously I could hear in the sheepishness of your voice offering him an ice cream,
did you know that like maybe an ice cream is like a soft spot for him?
Sweeten the deal a bit.
Well, just like if I come back hot, like he's like really not going to like that.
It was a peace offering.
Yeah, it was a peace. Yeah. It was a peace offering. Yeah.
It was my olive branch.
But is an ice cream, I guess what I'm asking,
is the ice cream the olive branch of the Lodge household?
I'd say so.
Because if Bridget and I ever had a disagreement,
I don't even think she's ever done it, but if she just went,
do you want some chocolate?
I'd be like.
Oh, fuck.
Mind me over.
Yeah, I've proposed to you again.
Yeah.
Well, I knew that it would be, yeah, a nice icebreaker,
pardon the pun again, but also because I knew that he hadn't taken it,
like he wasn't upset.
He was like, whoa, I'll give you some space.
So if it warranted an apology, then the ice cream,
he would have been like, I don't want a fucking ice cream.
I want you to fucking apologise.
He knew what it meant.
Yeah, but because I knew that we were all good,
I was like, the ice cream's enough.
I think I've got a great question for tapas and we will not get to this till next year.
Yeah.
Next year.
No, I actually wrote something down and I nearly vomited
because I know you were going to say that joke for a long time.
Do you reckon the tapas can share what's the peace offering
in your relationship?
Yeah, what's your olive branch where you know that you'll win
the person over no matter what?
But it's sort of the not only win them over but it's also like they know
that in our love language this means sorry.
Yeah, yeah.
Like I was out of line and I've got a golden gay time.
Yeah, and I mean like an ice cream probably isn't going to cut it
if you go like I cheated on you but do you want a golden gay time?
You know, like that probably isn't going to work.
If I – I don't want to even say the words.
If I did something bad to Bridge.
Harrowing.
I would tell her with the cheeseburger.
A little sneaky cheesy for Bridge.
Yeah, a cheesy for Bridget.
Yeah, that is –
Really gets it done.
Yeah, it does.
I gave her some Vegemite toast earlier and she was pretty happy with that.
She was, actually.
And you're like, yeah, and I've actually been sleeping with your husband.
But I had.
Check out this Vegemite on sourdough, am I right?
And then she goes, I'll put you in the microwave.
I've got to love to see it here.
And this isn't the first, second, or maybe even the 25th time
we've shown love for Hilary Duff. Oh. Now, this is not going to be. Fuck, she's phenomenal, isn't the first, second, or maybe even the 25th time we've shown love for Hilary Duff.
Oh.
Now, this is not going to be.
Fuck, she's phenomenal, isn't she?
This is not going to become a, like, Hilary Duff fan cast.
What do you call those podcasts that are a thing?
I don't know.
Fan cast I liked.
You like that?
Okay.
What I.
Oh, no.
Where have I put it?
Have I sent you the picture?
Oh, my God.
Here we go again. Oh, I've been logged out of it? Have I sent you the picture? Oh, my God, here we go again.
Oh, I've been logged out of my emails.
Do you want to just flick it around?
Have a look at the cover photo of the January edition
of Women's Health Australia.
I have seen this online.
Isn't she just so happy and glowy and, like,
she is just living her best life?
Stunning.
Like, it's not even about how she looks in terms of her body.
And she looks phenomenal.
But, like, she just looks so happy.
She radiates sunshine.
She does.
She is just the most yellowy, glowy, happy, like, I'm speechless.
Oh, my.
I just think that she is just the best person.
I fucking froth following her online.
Have you watched the TV show Younger that she's in?
Not as much as I should have considering how much I love her.
Yeah, she's really good in it.
Yeah.
Well, good on her.
And, like, you know how, like, a lot of child stars, like, it's rough.
It's hard to, like, deal with the world.
Yeah, transition, yeah.
And I don't think, has anyone done it better?
Probably not better than her, no.
Miley Cyrus has come back around.
She obviously, like, had a few off-the-rails years, which is normal.
Yep.
Everyone has off-the-rails years.
It's just that yours normally aren't on the front of a fucking magazine.
But Hilary Duff, I feel like she's just killed life, like, non-stop.
Smashed it.
Unbelievable.
And her and her husband and their three kids, like, just fucking, oh.
Love to see it.
You do love to see that.
I'll tell you what's throwing me a little bit, though.
What?
I think there's something, and this isn't Hilary Duff,
this is, like, the magazine.
Yeah.
There must be this thing, like, so this is the January edition.
It's only like, it's not even halfway through December.
So, but I think there's this thing in the magazine world where it's like,
I feel like, oh, I've got the January edition.
It's like out early.
And it's like, you can imagine, you know,
like back in the day when each issue was like a really big deal in culture.
And you're like, oh, the September issue.
You can get it in the last week of August.
And it's like this little like secret club.
But they're like kind of taking the piss now.
Yeah.
I've got next July's already.
So I saw these pictures I reckon last – like I reckon I've seen these pictures in November.
And I'm like, oh, that's the thing.
And then when I was driving in this morning, I saw it at the service station.
I was like, oh, there's my website.
And then I'm like, the January it's the thing. And then when I was driving in this morning, I saw it at the service station. I was like, oh, there's my love for Sue. And then I'm like, the January edition.
Like, come on, guys.
I've never really thought about that.
Is it the January edition if it comes out on the 1st of December?
Yeah.
Like, really?
I don't know.
That was my little gripe for the day.
No, that's fair enough.
I mean, put Hilary Duff out fucking every week for all I care.
Well, now that this is a January edition, now that this is a Hilary Duff out fucking every week for all I care. Well, now that this is a January edition,
now that this is a Hilary Duff love fest,
can I change my love to see it from the thing that I have
to watch Younger, the TV show?
I feel like that's my love to see it.
No, yours was watching, looking at Hilary Duff.
Okay, it's related.
Don't put me in the microwave.
But a really good recommendation, watch Younger.
It is such a good fucking show and she is phenomenal in it.
She plays like a – she works at a publishing company
and she like works her way up in the show.
Like she's really, really good and she's very cool in it.
All of her clothes and her hair is just so cool.
So on my list for like – I've got my list of like over the summer.
Oh, like trash shows to watch.
Younger is now on there.
Yes, it should be.
I tried to start watching Wednesday, but I fell asleep.
That's a no from Tony.
I love The Addams Family.
I love weird shit.
Like I do really love gothy weird shit.
And it wasn't really for me.
I see why people like it, but I just.
I want to get into The White Lotus second season.
Yep, do yourself a favour.
And there's a few movies, because when Bridge and I watch together,
you kind of do that thing where you sort of compromise.
But I've got some real boy movies.
That you want to...
Yeah.
Yeah, nice.
Like some shit thrillers.
Yeah, cool.
Some murder mysteries and shit, so that's on my list.
But Younger.
I'll take you up on that.
Yeah, yeah, it's really good.
It's a great recommendation.
Thank you. How great is Hillary R'll take you up on that. Yeah, yeah. It's really good. It's a great recommendation. Yeah, thank you.
How great is Hilary Duff?
Oh, when I started writing my book,
the first thing I said to my editor was,
is this going to be like Younger?
Because they're all sleeping together.
And I was like, is that what it's like?
She was like, not really.
And I was like, no, come on.
Was she like, are you asking to sleep with me?
Yeah.
I was like, does Hilary Duff work here?
Yeah, I want some notes.
No, notes means actually written notes, not like...
Not like sexy notes.
Thank you so much for listening.
We'll be back tomorrow for a Wednesday episode.
Tomorrow's episode, we're going to look into the future
because the audio...
The January edition.
The January edition.
Yeah, it's the January edition.
The audio queen has actually, and you don't,
she doesn't know this yet,
has had an insight into the birth of my child.
Well, I am a psychic.
Remember when I predicted my friend's birth that time?
Yeah, when she was 40 weeks pregnant.
I still don't know how you did it.
So we're going to all be able to hear about the journey
and the birth of my child.
I haven't prepared anything.
Wow.
You'll get the notes about 30 seconds before you're ready to go.
Right.
That's when I perform my best, 30 seconds before I have to do it.
Yeah.
All right.
We'll chat to you tomorrow.
Love you.
Bye.