Toni and Ryan - 8 Sausages in a Bag
Episode Date: June 30, 2024BIG BIG NEWS!!!!! You'll need our PATREON LINK and our MERCH LINK hehehehe love you!!! xoxoxCheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndR...yan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast.
My name is Ryan.
This is Dr. Author, bestselling Dr. Author, Tony Lodge.
Oh, wow.
What an introduction.
I should do it every day.
We are calling Fort McMurray, which as you know, Tony, is in?
The world.
It's on earth.
Nailed it.
Alberta, Canada.
Oh.
We've been to Canada.
Biggest meet and greet ever. I feel like I'm still in that line.
Yeah, I'm still cold from that line.
Yeah, it's like my feet were little bricks.
Yeah, my bones were cold, which I
didn't think was possible.
Hello? Aline!
Hello!
Hey! How are you guys?
We're well, thank you. How are you?
What have we interrupted you doing today?
I was just cuddling my dog.
Wouldn't we all just love to be cuddling a dog right now?
And it's real cold in Melbourne at the moment,
so it's hard to get out of bed in the morning.
And so when I'm like, oh, my warm bed with like Pippa and Torb's like,
oh, yeah.
Yeah, I'm jealous. I'm jealous. oh, my warm bed with like Pippa and Torb's like, oh, yeah. Yeah. I'm jealous.
I'm jealous.
Yeah.
No, it's hard.
Aline, what is Fort McMurray in Alberta best known for?
Besides the oil fires.
Fires.
Oh, like bushfires.
Yeah.
Like bushfires?
Yeah.
We had a major one in 2016 that evacuated the entire town.
That's terrifying.
That is so scary.
And we actually had another one a couple of weeks ago that evacuated a third of the town.
Oh my God. How many times have you had to leave your own house?
Two for fires and one for a flood in 2020.
Move! What are you doing?
I know!
This is going to sound really stupid.
How does it set on fire if it's that cold? Is it that it's cold and dry?
Yeah, it's cold and dry
because we don't, where it gets so cold,
we don't get a lot of snow.
Yeah.
It's too cold for snow.
Yeah. Oh. What the fuck?
You know what I mean? Santa must know
what that's like. Do we lose you?
Are you still there? Oh, no.
I'm going to say the Santa joke again, you guys.
Are you guys good? Oh my god, we've lost you.
Sorry. Say your line again, right? I was just saying how
terrifying it was that it's too cold for snow.
Yeah, right? That's like what Santa must
deal with.
On the South Pole with the North.
I'm going to need to have to start like a GoFundMe to be like,
please get me out of here. You can come and stay at Ryan's, Beyonce's Airbnb.
Yeah, I'll get the spare room ready for you.
It's a bit warm.
Even a chilly Melbourne winter feels balmy for yourself.
I'll move across the world.
Yeah, perfect.
We'll see you when you get here.
But in the meantime, would you mind approving today's episode?
Oh, I absolutely would.
Woo-hoo!
Hey, it's Aileen from Alberta, Canada, and I approve this podcast.
I think I speak forever when I say welcome back, Tony Lodge.
Thank you very much.
How are you feeling?
Welcome back to the Health and Wellness Podcast.
Yeah, fuck.
I feel like it was only three days ago since we were making that joke last.
We cannot keep meeting tapas.
Like, I am putting my foot down.
Is that it?
Well, you're going to hate the announcement coming up in about 10 minutes then, aren't you?
Oh, no.
No, I think that'll be fine.
I know it's rare to start with or you love to see it,
but after you were sick and we did have a show Thursday or Friday,
I don't know if you recall, but on the Wednesday episode,
we were talking about ways we could get banned
from Spotify and I kept saying the word Taliban training camp.
Oh, Ryan.
So Lauren said, oh, thank heavens Tony's sick.
I heard all that.
They wouldn't ban us, chat.
And then suddenly there's no episode on Thursday and Friday.
I didn't even think about that.
She's like, oh, what are you going to do?
Take us down. We can say whatever we want. And then there's no episodes. Oh, my God. No's like, oh, what are you going to do? Take us down.
We can say whatever we want.
And then there's no answers.
Oh, my God.
No, well, that's not what happened.
But Lauren, thank you for your.
Thanks for your concern.
Yeah.
Also super sleuthing.
She really put two and two together there.
Well, as it plays out, it seems obvious in hindsight, eh?
Yeah, I didn't even think about it.
Yeah, because you were too busy.
Dying.
Shmallaban training camp.
No, no, that's not why.
Bring it on again, bitches.
That wasn't why I was sitting right here.
Big announcement coming up on today's episode.
People are going to get real excited, especially Tony, who's-
Ryan dragged me out of bed for this, so worth it, though.
I'll drag you back in when I'm done.
Oh, my God.
But first, speaking of you getting sick from tarpas in cinemas.
Yes. There's a thread in the tony and ryan facebook group and it is what food have you seen people bring into the cinema and it is awful ladies and gentlemen is it uh well okay let's go
through these one by one i just think about the like top line of food that people would bring
into the cinema and like you just think you've seen it all, don't you?
Well, I thought I had seen it all until I read some of these comments
and I think there's actually let me ask this first.
Does it have to be that's fucked or that's great
or can it kind of be both sometimes?
I think it can kind of be both.
Sometimes it's the commitment, isn't it? kind of be both yeah is it sometimes it's
the commitment isn't it yeah but like someone's committed and it's like good for you but also
bad for me because i have to smell that and be jealous i also reckon that like you know when
they added all that hot food on the menus to like the la prem or fucking what's it called gold class
yeah and like how you can get like chicken wings. Yeah. As if you, my thing is like the admin of eating a chicken wing
or like something like that.
They've got salads on the menu.
How are you eating a salad in the dark?
Yeah.
And why would you pick that?
Well, first of all, I don't think anyone's ever ordered it,
so all good.
Yeah.
But as someone who is banned from wearing a white T-shirt
to restaurants and that's eating with the lights on i just don't yeah it's like the same as when
you're eating it on the couch and like sometimes the lights are off and you're like oh nice one
back in my chair thank you nice one what's going on with my chair you got to press the thing in
how did you know that because this didn't this happen like a week ago?
Yeah, I'm having deja vu.
Oh, deja vu.
Oh, can we talk about deja vu?
Yeah.
When we're on the plane to go into Sydney.
We're on the plane going to Sydney for the movie marathon
and I sit next to Tony on the plane and she goes,
I've got deja vu.
And I go, yeah, we've caught like 25 flights together.
But it wasn't.
I feel like I've been here before.
Yeah, so they all leave from their Melbourne airport.
No, it wasn't.
I feel like I've been here before.
Yeah, we've been to Sydney before.
Oh, you're choosing fucking violence today.
No, but like you're like, I feel like I've been here before
and I'm like, you have.
No, I know.
And we always sit in the same seats as well.
We sit in the same seats and leave from the same airport.
I know.
They're like, oh, I've got this weird feeling.
It's not a weird feeling.
It happened two weeks ago.
It wasn't that, though.
It was like the outfit and what I was doing and everything.
It was spooky.
Okay.
I know that you hate that shit, but it really got me.
Yeah, but it got me because I laughed for about half an hour, didn't I?
Yeah, well, you know, I laughed the whole way home
and Ryan left his fucking headphones at the airport,
at the fucking hotel.
Fuck me.
Keep going.
There's a new trend that I accidentally did.
I saw it too.
You've seen the raw dogging sort of.
Raw dogging a flight.
My boyfriend raw dogged a flight from Melbourne to Los Angeles.
It's 11 hours, no magazine, no book, no headphone, just sitting there.
Flight map.
Raw dog in a flight.
Nah, I can't.
And so we arrive at the airport and I go, oh, after 75 phone charges,
I've now donated some noise cancelling headphones to a hotel.
So congratulations to the great people at Marriott.
Yeah.
And I guess I'm raw doggging a flight from Melbourne to Sydney.
Yeah.
And that was enough.
And that's like an hour.
An hour and a half.
Not even.
I think, yeah.
But these mad dogs who are raw dogging international,
like 10 hour plus.
I think there's just nothing to be proud about.
Same.
Like why make things difficult?
Yeah.
It's like, oh, I beat the record.
Whose?
Yeah, for what?
Are you proud of yourself, you fucking idiot?
I just don't know why you would ever want to.
Anyway.
So my brain gets, when I get bored, I just get kooky and think of dumb shit.
Yeah.
So if I roar Dog Don't Play for long enough, I'd be like,
what would happen if I pulled that handle next to that door?
Oh, well, okay.
You know what I mean?
We'll get you some headphones.
Yeah, but you start thinking like what's the temptation,
the impulsive thoughts, whatever that thing is.
Yeah, intrusive thoughts.
Yeah, I start looking around and going, what would happen if I did that?
Well, yeah, because you just like your body like wants to be stimulated.
Yeah, and so after 90 minutes, I'll start getting a bit like,
I could probably jump and land it from this height.
Yeah, Ryan started reading the Qantas magazine,
which is when you know it's dire, isn't it?
Oh, it is dire.
It is dire.
How many ads can you read?
Well, that's the thing.
There's actually not a lot in that magazine.
I was like, I'll flick through the ads at the front
and then there's a crossword at the back page and that's it.
There isn't even a crossword, I don't think.
I think it's like a note from the fucking pilot and that's it.
Yeah, and he goes, today, flying.
Yeah.
So sit down and put your headphones on, you fucking idiot.
Yeah, and you go, oh, no, I didn't get any.
Yeah.
And it starts again.
The cycle starts again.
The Qantas magazine needs to lift though.
And actually you've said, Tony says, and I actually agree with you,
there shouldn't be ads in the TV stuff on the plane
because you've already paid for your ticket.
Yes, that is my point that he just made.
Yes.
And I agree with you.
Yeah, you're already a captive audience.
You've paid for it.
But what happens is you lean back and cross your arms and you went,
you know what I reckon?
And I'm like, fucking here we go.
It's like my body is like ready to disagree.
Yeah.
And then Ryan went, that's not bad actually.
He's like, no, can't poke a hole in that theory.
Because it's true.
Yeah.
It's not like we've given you a really cheap budget flight
and we make up for it by selling ads and then you've got to pay
for your own water.
Yeah.
No, mate, this is Qantas.
I paid good cash.
I do not need a fleet vehicle.
And I'm not making the decision right now anyway.
This fucking gets Tony because it's the same Toyota fleet.
It's the same Toyota fucking fleet ad every time.
That and the past Paley ad.
Do you reckon?
Not that I wouldn't take a Toyota and some pearls, but I don't know.
Not in that order.
Exactly.
Time and place.
I think what gets you is that I reckon someone's fucked up some market research somewhere
and instead of saying 10, they've said 10,000.
And somehow this error has made its way through this marketing analysis
and it's got to someone's desk and they go,
did you know 99% of Toyota fleet purchases are made on airlines?
I agree.
I think so too.
Oh, that's a bit of an outlier.
Better advertise there and nowhere else.
Yes.
Better buy every possible ad available on those flights
because apparently-
For the next 10 years as well.
And don't you dare change that ad because the first one we made
is more than enough.
It's very good.
And you know what?
People don't fly that often, so there's no way that they'll see it
more than once a week.
Yeah.
In other news, if anyone needs a Toyota, we've got seven.
Yeah, I keep buying them by accident.
Yeah, we've got a whole fleet downstairs.
As soon as the Qantas free Wi-Fi turns on, I go,
well, fuck, you know what I'm going to do?
What's the CBC on the back, sweetheart?
I'm buying a fleet.
Well, lucky for us that if the Tony and Ryan enterprise
goes bankrupt, we can at least sell those cars
because I believe they're an appreciating asset.
Oh, I don't know what those words mean, but yes.
Good news all around.
The joke is that they're not, but if you don't understand, then.
And you really catch me on a bad day as well.
I don't want to get her.
She's full of cold and flu tablets.
I'll hit her with some niche economic gear.
That's my strategy.
I've got two strategies, that and Qantas fleet ads on airplanes.
Oh, fucking fleet.
Food in the cinema.
Amanda says a local restaurant is doing two tacos for $1
across the road from the local cinema.
And isn't that just, they know what they're doing.
Two tacos for $1.
Yeah.
And they just like wrap it in a little bit of foil.
Oh my God.
We managed to shove 20 tacos into my purse.
That sounds like a euphemism.
I've never seen the words taco and purse that close together and not be.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And snuck them into the theater.
The movie was good. The tacos were great, but it ruined an excellent purse. taco and purse that close together and not be, yeah. Yeah. And snuck them into the theater.
The movie was good.
The tacos were great, but it ruined an excellent purse.
Years later, I can still smell the meat.
Oh.
And you know they get sweaty?
Yes.
Like when you wrap them up in the foil. But also your fingers get like a bit greasy and whatever.
So you're just like sitting there with your nicky fingers and like.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I saw this lady with a full tub of egg mayo.
I knew it before I saw it because of the smell.
I thought she brought some chips in and gone, yep.
Chips and mayonnaise, though.
I don't know.
Is that a winner?
Well, no.
Well, I'm guessing she wasn't just raw dog in the mayo.
But what would you put mayonnaise on?
Because you wouldn't put chips in mayonnaise unless it was like aioli or something.
Did she also buy 57 rolls of sushi?
Oh, and it was Kewpie or something.
But you know what I mean?
Like, I just don't know what's the mayonnaise for.
Fish and chips.
Some eggs.
Hard-boiled eggs.
Is it mayo made of eggs?
Yeah, and it was whole egg mayo, so I was doing like a.
Oh, okay.
It's a little egg-ception.
Yeah, right.
Well, the eggs are a depreciating asset, and I've always said that.
Tamika says, I don't know if this is awesome or sad.
Maybe both.
Oh.
Tamika says, I don't know if this is awesome or sad, maybe both.
But I sat behind an older man who brought in a full roast dinner into the cinema, eating it from a dinner plate, knife and fork,
and it smelled fucking amazing.
Again, I mean, eating that in the dark is just crazy.
Yeah.
But, like, you normally have to sneak things in, like,
as if you walk in with your ticket and they go, yep, cinema four.
Oh, and did you want a fucking bit of cracked pepper
on your fucking fork there, Jonathan?
Like do you know what I mean?
Like you're walking into.
The chick walks in with a huge pepper grinder.
She's got a massive pepper grinder.
Just say when.
Like get down.
I'm trying to watch a movie you fucking idiot.
Oh, so what happens at the end of Titanic?
Couldn't tell because the guy in front of me was fucking.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure Jack was trying to surf on a pepper grinder
and couldn't fit on.
Couldn't figure it out.
Kenny Cowden.
Oh, one of the greats.
He went with the boys to see one of the big superhero movies.
Great.
We hear a ripping sound, says Kenny.
One of the blokes had taped a Ziploc bag to his leg
and when he ripped off the tape, he also ripped off a bunch of hair.
But it turns out he had a Ziploc bag full of eight sausages,
pre-cooked, full-size, ready to go,
then opens the Ziploc bag and starts offering them around
like they're a bag of chips.
So that's what you just say.
Sausage.
What?
Also, why do they tape?
Can I have a sip of that, Spro?
Sausage?
Yeah, I'll keep it even.
But, like, all boys' clothes have pockets.
There's no excuse.
Why would it be taped to the leg?
Well, because you've got to hide it.
Put pocket.
Don't you have a pocket though?
Yeah, but what if they patted you down?
Have you ever been patted down at the cinema?
Yeah.
You told a story on.
Not by someone at work there.
Whoa.
Yeah, point taken actually.
I don't think they care about you.
Well, actually they do care about you.
So you're just trying to find.
Imagine if you're with like a girl and she was in inverted commas patting you down. She goes, excuse me, have you got eight penises on your calf? No, actually, they do care about your sausage. That's what they're trying to find. Imagine if you were with a girl and she was, in inverted commas,
patting you down.
She goes, excuse me, have you got eight penises on your calf?
Nine, actually, including the main one.
Hey, it's Aileen from Alberta, Canada,
and you're listening to Tony and Ryan.
A massive shout out to a few of our champion tapas over at our Patreon who are going to be very happy today, I think.
Very.
Ebony Owen, good on your ebbs.
Angel.
We're giving you eight sausages in a bag.
A tape to Ryan's leg.
Mitzi, Rafford Zeta.
The new sale we're doing.
Do you want me to fucking...
Oh, sorry.
I was just doing sausage gear.
And it is good.
And I don't apologize, actually.
It is good.
And Suzanne Turner, good on you guys.
Thank you very much for being part of our Patreon.
You love to see it.
You love to see it.
Guys, we've got an announcement.
Or do we want to go like drummer or do we want to go like drum roll or do we want to go,
because we're from commercial radio, it would be like a drone?
And not a drone from the sky.
Yeah.
When did that happen?
I don't know.
Anyway.
It would be like Melbourne.
No, it's not Melbourne.
It's all over the world.
That's the internet.
That's how the internet works.
Last year, we did a live stream for 51 hours.
This year, we will be live streaming from the start
of the opening ceremony of the Paris Games
and we will be live streaming on Patreon
until Australia wins a gold medal.
Could that be 30 hours?
Could that be 10 days? Could we still be streaming until 2028 a gold medal? Could that be 30 hours? Could that be 10 days?
Could we still be streaming till 2028 in Los Angeles?
Who the fuck actually knows?
We don't.
But if you want to join us,
this is for exclusive and champion tapas on Patreon.
So come on over.
It's happening.
When the Olympics are on July 27.
Yep.
Get around it.
Now, Tony, considering your current state,
how excited are you about doing a potentially five-day-long live stream?
I'm really excited because it was fun.
Even though it was hard, it was really, really fun.
It can be fucked and fun at the same time.
Yeah, that's true.
But it was difficult.
But it was really good.
And I'm very much hoping that I'm going to be much better by the time this rolls around.
I think it's good that you've got your colds out.
I really hope that that's the case.
Like you get one or two per winter and it's like, yeah, no, tick the box.
All done.
All good.
I really, really hope that you're right.
Same.
Because I can't do this again.
Yeah.
But this is fucking so exciting and it's a really
fun idea. Yeah. Now, question. Question.
And this isn't shade. This is just like trying to be a good friend and cover
the boxes. How all fucking good questions begin. Yep. I know that you
like a plan. How are we getting there? What time are we coming home?
Blah, blah, blah, blah blah blah blah blah yeah how are you
feeling about the unknownness of we don't know how long it's going for no i actually feel fine
about it yeah and i i feel like you've been fine when we've talked about but is it fair to say
that's like a um that's something a fair question to ask tony lodge yeah no because i normally am
like oh i just want to know well i think also it's easier to pace yourself when you know
where the end is.
But we didn't know where the end was going to be last time either.
That's true.
It bubbled up and down, yeah.
Yeah, because as people joined, we added more time.
We're not doing that this time because that was fucked.
That was fucked.
That was fucked.
That was fucked.
Yeah.
So I'm not doing that again.
But I think knowing that we get to watch the games at the same time
is like really winning me over because that's what I'd be doing at home anyway.
Now, I think later in the week we might have a legal expert on
who can advise us if we can say the O word or not.
I'm pretty sure we can't.
This is unofficial.
We're not a partner.
All good.
Don't fucking ask.
Yeah.
Don't ask, don't tell.
Nice one. And we haven't partner. All good. Don't fucking ask. Yeah. Don't ask, don't tell. Nice one.
And we haven't done it so far.
No.
So we're safe.
We're in the clear.
And no one fucking comment shit.
No.
We all know what we're talking about.
The big games.
Games is free reign, isn't it?
Games is all good.
Like when the Super Bowl is on and then radio stations have to go,
oh, we're not an official media partner of the Slooper Bowl,
but the big game's on this weekend.
Yeah, and it's the same with the race that stops the nation.
No, you can't say that either.
Really?
No, you can't say that phrase.
Oh, so they've gone two layers deep on them.
Yeah, you can't say that either.
If we just say it in Paris, I think people,
when it gets close to the Olympics, people get that right.
Ah!
Cancelled.
Back to the Taliban camp with us.
Maybe cut both of those out.
If there's one thing the committee don't like is having the T word included
in the O word.
They don't like them near each other.
They don't like them separate.
And that's fair.
Fair.
Everyone should want that.
Anyway, I feel as though the excitement that everyone's going to have
about this is going to overrun what's just happened
and none of us are going to say the O word.
Aren't we?
No.
How about this?
We all get one and I've used mine.
Mate.
No, because then you'll say it again and you'll be like,
well, that was Tony's and then I won't get to say it at all.
Well, we'll have a legal representative later in the week. I actually feel like I did say it again and you'll be like, well, that was Tony's. And then I won't get to say it at all. Well, we'll have a legal representative later in the week.
I actually feel like I did say it before because I said
that I'd be watching it at home anyway.
Did not.
Someone check that.
I'm sure.
Anyway.
Tafas will check the tape.
Yeah.
But very, very exciting stuff.
And alongside this big announcement, we have another big announcement.
We've actually got, I'd say two oh hang on what's up hang on word oh three oh oh my god we should have talked about
what we're going to talk about um and i'm looking at are we available today yes yes we are ladies
and gentlemen if you go to tonyandryan.com.au, click on the merch tab.
There are Tarpathon, the second annual hats available so we can all watch our hats in green and gold.
Watch our hats.
And watch with our hats on.
I'm just concentrating so hard.
I'm not saying the O word.
It's really distracting from all the other words I'm trying to say.
Yeah, it is distracting, yeah.
I am totally fine if you say I'm from Germany.
They're my number one country, country obviously because that's my homeland,
but I'll wear a green and gold tarpathon hat and they're my second team.
Yeah.
I'll also accept, fuck you, I'm loving the live stream,
I hope you don't win for ages.
That's fine.
I'll cop that.
There are only, was it 333 hats?
That's it.
So a bit of technical chat, logistics chat.
Last year we didn't do any merch.
Everyone was like, why didn't you do live stream merch?
And we were like, oh, I don't know.
I guess it's too late now.
Yeah.
We didn't even think that anyone would want that.
Yeah.
So we've done a very limited run.
Please buy them because we-
But buy them this week.
The reason we're saying this right now is because we want to ship them this
week so they're there before the.
Tarpathon live stream.
Tarpathon second annual live stream.
Yep.
Tarpathon till gold.
The O day.
Yeah.
But, yeah, so if you hypothetically, if you ordered it today,
you should have it worldwide.
You should have it before this week's start.
Don't wait.
Which will be the opening ceremony of the big games.
Now, more logistics chat.
Friday night in Paris, 8 p.m. is the opening ceremony.
Yes.
Which in Melbourne is, I think it's actually 4 a.m. our time.
I thought we thought it was 5 a.m., but I think it's 4 a.m.
It's fucking early on Saturday either way.
It's actually 5.24 a.m. our time yeah okay because i read a news article yeah but i think
i've read that as well and then i i but i went on some dank website you know how it's like oh well
that's not better someone tell us what time it's time yeah you tell us but but this is what you
need to know because it's like a global event you'll see it on your tv and you'll go live
streams on yes you can't miss it basically yeah you can't miss it um but the idea is that you a global event, you'll see it on your TV and you'll go, live stream's on. Yes.
You can't miss it, basically. Yeah, you can't miss it.
But the idea is that you would maybe be watching Tony and Ryan
inside of Patreon if you're an exclusive or champion,
on your laptop or something.
But then you'd maybe have the big games on your telly or vice versa.
I think we're telly worthy.
But I'm saying, like, you could watch this in tandem.
Obviously, we can't stream the games live.
Because we're not an official partner.
I've actually never heard of them.
But we can't do that.
But you would watch us and we will be watching along
as the day progresses.
We'll obviously go, cool, we've had enough of that.
We'll do something else.
But for the most part, you'll be able to kind of watch both.
Now, to take you behind the scenes of patreon uh-huh last year annoyingly we said we'll do
one minute for every person uh-huh and as time went on people kept joining and making it go longer
i reckon and because we were getting a bit kooky like we were about to finish and then it was like
eight more people have joined in the last two minutes
and we're like, go fuck yourself.
Yeah.
I think my thing with those eight people, and I wish I could name them,
probably could if I looked hard enough and shame the fuck out of them
because I was ready for bed by then.
We were done.
We were done.
Mate, you'd slept enough.
I did have two naps.
Three if you count the time I slept when on the couch.
Yeah.
The thing I felt bad for those eight people was
is like they missed the first 50 hours and 40 minutes.
Yeah.
Now, because Australia could in theory win a gold medal at any time
because there's random like shooting and badminton and cycling and blah, blah.
Don't wait is my thing.
If you want to get amongst it, yeah.
Because it might just, oh, shit, someone came out of nowhere
from behind and they won the race and it's over.
Yes.
So don't wait.
If you sign up now and you only want to sign up for a month
to be a part of this and you can fuck off after,
totally fine, we won't be offended.
Lots of people did it last time, all good.
Yeah.
But also like the time that you join doesn't affect how much it, like, costs.
Yep.
So it's not as if, oh, if I wait till the end, it costs less or whatever.
Sign up now.
If you do it now, you'll be there for the whole time
and you'll get a month's worth of Patreon,
plus all the stuff that we've ever posted, like, in the back catalogue.
You'll get to see as well.
There's a bit of back catalogue in there as well.
Yeah.
So there's lots of stuff to enjoy.
You also will have access to watch the last live stream if you miss that.
Oh, yeah.
If you've got a spare 50 hours on the lead up.
Yeah.
But like if you've, you know, maybe you could watch both.
We're live for the big games.
I've got an idea.
But then someone's watching the old live stream.
Next year for the third annual Tarpathon.
Yeah. We will watch the two previous Tarpathons.
So it'll be like a reaction video.
Absolutely not.
Instead of reacting to a 15-second reel, we'll be reacting to a 50-hour video.
Absolutely not.
So the 50 hours finish and we'll be like, yeah, what's next?
Another fucking however long.
Yeah.
That time maybe we'll still be live streaming.
We'll definitely not be doing that.
I'm just letting everybody know
that's not happening.
Is that some passive aggressiveness
towards our athletes?
How is that passive aggressive?
I just said no.
That's what I mean.
I won't be.
We're like,
because you'll be doing a good job
for the country
and you'll be winning gold.
No, I'm saying we're not going to be reacting
to the old one.
Oh,
I thought you meant
we'll still be going in a year
because we haven't won gold yet.
No, you just said next year.
I don't hate it here.
We're both sick.
You're right.
I'm wrong.
Yeah.
Shocker.
Patreon.com slash Tony and Ryan.
Come and join up.
What do we go with?
Live stream to a gold.
Tapathon to a gold.
You don't even know what it's fucking called.
No.
Great. I'm just so excited and so concentrating on not saying the other words. Yeah, I know. It. You don't even know what it's fucking called. No. Great.
I'm just so excited and so concentrating on not saying the other words.
Yeah, I know.
It's a bit hard, isn't it?
What do you love to see, Tony Lodge?
I mean, I love to see all of that.
Go get your hats.
But my love to see is from Sophie who posts on our Facebook group.
Short and sweet.
Absolutely love it.
My love to see it is that I parked at work just as you guys said,
love you bye this morning.
Isn't that good?
That's huge.
It's just the best feeling, eh?
One of the greatest moments in my life and like I've been married.
I have a daughter.
They're all right.
One time the plane landed as the credits rolled on a movie.
Oh, that's cool.
Yeah.
And it was like a murder mystery because what else would I watch?
Because you imagine pulling up to the terminal and you like don't know who did it.
Oh.
I mean, there was like eight minutes to go.
I'm like kind of like, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
Yeah, you're like, fuck, we're not going to make it here.
And the guy did it.
It was the butler after all.
Oh, shit.
Credits roll.
We hit the tarmac.
And I was like, doesn't that just fucking do it for you?
And then you stood up in the aisle even though you couldn't go anywhere.
Smoked a cigarette.
Yeah.
Had a great time.
My life to see it.
I don't know if we're in the mood for this.
I'm going to have a sip of coffee.
We need to take a deep breath.
You need to be ready for this because this is fucked.
You keep telling me that I'm not ready.
I haven't done anything wrong.
Michael says.
Hi, Michael. No shit. Michael says Hi Michael
No shit
My wife just took the tip of my cock
And put it in her mouth like it was a cigar
And then said
Nah see
Like she was an old time gangster
She then expected us to get right back into it
As if I'm not going to need a minute to process that
That
That is so funny.
I'm sorry, I don't have the energy.
I can't laugh, but that is so fucking funny.
I'm going to do that.
That's really funny.
I'm definitely going to roll that out.
How do you think?
What do you expect the reaction to be?
I think that Torbs would laugh and then we would keep having sex
because he's a grown up.
Not like Michael.
Grow up, Michael.
All right, we'll chat to you tomorrow with confessions.
We've got a confession from a guilty kindergartner.
Oh, my God.
Yeah.
All right. Do what you want with that. Yeah, okay. All right. we've got a confession from a guilty kindergartner oh my god yeah alright we have to stop
do what you want
yeah
alright
bye
love you bye