Toni and Ryan - At a call centre and in the bedroom

Episode Date: August 15, 2022

Sexy bedroom chat, and unsexy neighbour chat. Love you!!! Toni xx Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge... and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 All right, this is... Campbell, and it is 11.52pm in London. Oh my God. Sorry, Campbell, in advance. I'd already have my eye mask on. Hello? Hi, Campbell. Hi. Campbell, would you approve the Tony and Ryan podcast?
Starting point is 00:00:24 Absolutely, I would. Yay! Oh, what are you up to, Campbell? would you approve the Tony and Ryan podcast? Absolutely I would. Yeah. Oh, what are you up to, Campbell? Where are you? I'm currently in Dundee just watching Sandman on Netflix. It's actually really good. Highly recommend it. Torbs actually did say to me the other day,
Starting point is 00:00:37 there's this new show out, it's called Sandman. Do you want to watch it? Because I want to watch it. And I just sang Metallica's Sandman at him for about 15 minutes. Rightly so. So, yeah, I haven't watched it. It looks scary though. Is it creepy and scary?
Starting point is 00:00:55 Like is it? Episode four is a bit weird. If you're in the mood for that though, you have to be in the mood for it. Oh, I agree. And Tony, will you be in the mood for that? No. I'm in the mood to sing, though. Oh, I agree. And Tony, will you be in the mood for that? No. I'm in the mood to sing Sandman and to Sandman by Metallica. This is Campbell
Starting point is 00:01:09 in Dundee, Scotland, and I approve this podcast. Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. Welcome. I've got an idea for a reality show. Oh. It's just called Tony Lodge's Apartment Building because I feel like over the course of this podcast we've got to know John the Cat.
Starting point is 00:01:38 Oh, yeah. We've got to know the happy-go-lucky, free-spirited sexual prowess of the neighbours. The neighbours, yep. And I believe we're about to learn something more about the building. Yes. John, the cat. Was he involved in this?
Starting point is 00:01:53 It's her mum and dad. John is a girl. It's her mum and dad. Oh, my God. Because John is a fan favourite of the show. Yes, she is. I don't want to spoil it, but are they aware of John's notoriety? Notoriety.
Starting point is 00:02:11 Yes, they are. And are they for or against? As far as I know, they're for. They were the ones that brought it to my attention. Yep. But anyway. We'll get there. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:02:21 Okay, that's going up. First, though, thanks to Tapa Annie Parsons for this week's topic. This is things you can say in a call centre and also in the bedroom. Hi there. Yeah, before we get started, I just wanted to check what insurance plan you're on. You might need to up it because today is going to get wild. Also, before we get started, what's your date of birth? Oh, sorry.
Starting point is 00:02:55 Can you hear me? It sounds like you can't hear me because you're not doing what I asked. Oh, finally. It's so much better dealing with an actual human. Robot's getting to you, mate. Sorry, I don't think we've got, like, a good connection. I agree. There is no good connection.
Starting point is 00:03:23 I'm just going to put you on top of Carl. Oh, so now I'm on going to put you on top of Carl. Oh, so now I'm on Carl's to-do list. Imagine having a to-do list. Oh, what have you got on this weekend? Oh, Maddie, Tony, Sally. Good names that I came up with on the fly. I do hate being passed around, though. Oh, and you fucking, oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:03:52 You've explained your situation to John right at the beginning, and then they go, oh, I'm actually going to have to put you through to Steve. Then you get put on to Steve, and then Steve goes, oh, so what seems to be the problem? You fucking unpack all your garbage, and then they go, oh, Rob actually deals with that. So then you get put onto Rob and fucking hell, all of a sudden three hours later you've explained your situation fucking 65 times.
Starting point is 00:04:09 Yeah. But nothing's been done. Whilst I agree with everything you've just said, when I said I hate being passed around, I was talking about at the Peel nightclub. You like that normally. Not what I've heard. Actually, yeah, no wonder that didn't make sense to you.
Starting point is 00:04:26 Hi, is your mum and dad home? Don't want to do it if your mum and dad are home. No, no. I hope you were satisfied with my work. Do you mind doing a quick survey afterwards to let me know where I can improve for next time? And whilst we joke, I think normalise that. And being like, I didn't like what you did here but loved that.
Starting point is 00:04:49 Loved this, bit more of that. That, take it or leave it. But also it's a lot easier when you're not in person. So just send a little email survey through afterwards. An email. It's a Google form. And you're like, okay, leave your email at the top, please. I'm going to need a little bit more information just to confirm your identity.
Starting point is 00:05:08 I don't want to get catfished. Are you sure you're Robert Pattinson? Yes, definitely. He said it was fine. He gave me his word. It must be. He gave me his word. Just letting you know, this will be recorded for quality and coaching purposes.
Starting point is 00:05:32 Again, wouldn't it be good if people were open to feedback? Yeah. Positive criticism. It's called an air check where the radio boss will listen to your show and give you notes. Could you imagine afterwards, oh, see, yeah, well, you stuck that in his arsehole. I reckon next time maybe. Just a bit more finger action before you stick it in the arsehole. Before you just straight give you notes? Yeah. Could you imagine afterwards? Oh, see, yeah, well, you stuck that in his arsehole. I reckon next time maybe.
Starting point is 00:05:46 Just a bit more finger action before you stick it in the arsehole. Yeah, before you just straight in, yeah. Yeah. But apart from that, keep it up. I think overall it's feeling really good. Not much to work on, just those few things. Just a few one percenters. Yeah, and we'll get there.
Starting point is 00:05:57 How good is it when a boss says the phrase one percenter? Oh, it fucks me up. Or just a few one percenters just to really get you over the line. Do you like that? I like the, like, constructive criticism. But the saying is. Yeah, I just hate the, like, jargon of being in an office. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:14 And saying things like that. In the boudoir, are you good at the one percenters? I hope so. Okay. What do you mean? Like the little stuff? What do you mean? Like the little stuff? What do you mean? Well, sometimes it's the little things that add up over time.
Starting point is 00:06:28 Oh, well, I think so. It's a cumulative effect, isn't it? The effort. It's the effort. It's the effort, yeah. Oh, fuck. I've had so many dicks today. But the other day I had a heap of dicks.
Starting point is 00:06:46 It's good to keep it varied. Shout out to people who work in a call centre that deal with d**ks all the time. Yeah, f**k you, deal with those a**holes. Oh, a lot of a**holes as well. They're the one percenters, the a**holes. Can you just hold there? I'm going to ask a colleague for some advice.
Starting point is 00:07:09 Imagine if you were with someone. They're like, I'm just going to call a mate. Can you just wait on? Because I've never seen this before. He doesn't seem to be liking it. Oh, okay, I'll try that. Yeah. All right, here we go.
Starting point is 00:07:20 We're back on. We're back on. Here we go. Is this toll free? Sometimes they're up to $3 a minute. Yeah. The worst. Yep.
Starting point is 00:07:35 Have you considered pulling it out and putting it back in again? A good restart. Yeah. I can come back later if you can't fit me in now. I reckon I might be able to squeeze it through. Oh, please try. While you're waiting, actually, this is more of the, you know that really annoying voice over when you're on hold
Starting point is 00:08:00 that's like trying to tell you stuff and sell you shit and you're like, I just want my internet fixed. Or how it's like, here at Telstra, we love to help our customers and that's why we've introduced 30% off over all this. Yep. While you're waiting, have you considered jumping online and doing it yourself? There are so many resources on our website.
Starting point is 00:08:27 They fucking all do say that now. Thanks for calling. Have you considered not calling and doing it yourself? And normally the only reason you're ringing is because the thing online doesn't fucking work. If the thing online worked, I wouldn't be calling. Do you think I would choose to call someone on the phone by choice? I hate talking on the phone by choice? I hate talking
Starting point is 00:08:45 on the phone to my own family, let alone, I mean, like, you know, the thing I want to spend some time on the phone to a complete stranger. Yeah. Just put my internet back on and I'll be happy. Yeah. And doesn't it really fuck you off when you're like trying to call IONET because your internet's not working and they're like, have you tried jumping on the internet and doing this? I fucking would have loved to. I'd love to. But the reason I'm calling. I'd love the opportunity, to be honest, IRNet.
Starting point is 00:09:10 Oh, have you checked your internet speed? You go to this website. I can't go to the website to check my fucking speed because my fucking speed's so low. And my fucking internet doesn't work. There's no speed. Oh, your car's broken down? Have you considered driving to the mechanic?
Starting point is 00:09:24 That's what they're saying. Wow. We finally touched a nerve. Yeah. Ooh. I like it. I'm the, no. Feisty.
Starting point is 00:09:34 What? More revved up. Why? My internet went down the other week. Oh, my God. It's a bit too raw. Yeah, sorry. That's another one.
Starting point is 00:09:41 Yeah, I actually tried him before, but he was engaged. Which stops some people, but not all. Sucker's got a goalie, mate. Doesn't mean he can't score. Could you give me that one again, but this time much slower? Sorry, I get excited. Oh, God, that thing is really hurting my ear. Thank you so much.
Starting point is 00:10:20 Yep, I can assure you I won't be calling you again. Hey, better than ghosting. You know all about it. Hey, this is Campbell from Dundee, Scotland, and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive shout-out to a few of our champion tapas over at our Patreon. Courtney Baldwin, thank you so much. Dorth, thank you.
Starting point is 00:10:50 Ty, Jules Robinson, Billy Davies, thank you very much. Alexandria, Clive Jones, Ischel Van Son, Ryan Hines, Alyssa Roberts and Matt Wierus. Wierus. Wiervas, maybe. Matthew W. Matty Dub. Matt. Matty Dub., maybe. Matthew W. Matty Dub. Matt.
Starting point is 00:11:06 Matty Dub. Big Matty Dub. Big Matty Dub. Thanks so much for being Tarpers and being part of the Patreon, by the way. It's literally changed our lives and we're super stoked. Totally. And speaking of which, you might have seen on our Instagram, Tarpa Linda.
Starting point is 00:11:20 Yeah. We are hooking her up with Free Invisalign. Yep. And you can see the video. She freaked the fuck out. We told her that she was like a finalist and had to go get a checkup, and then we surprised her. Yep.
Starting point is 00:11:31 We were in cahoots with Dr. Manu from Gorgeous Smiles Dentistry. Now, I'm not trying to just piss in your pocket here, Tony Lodge. Yeah. But I think it was clear that despite the fact she just won probably over like $10,000 worth of orthodontics, that she was probably more excited to see you. It was very nice. It was lovely how excited she was.
Starting point is 00:11:51 And coming really soon where- Hiya. Yeah. I am that excited about this. In fact, not really soon. It's happening. It's now. We're just doing the last like T's and C's checkpoint legal tick off.
Starting point is 00:12:04 We've got a whole bunch of other stuff as our way to say thank you to people who are listening to this podcast. Yeah. So like Linda with her teeth, we've got some other exciting things and you can let us know how we might be able to help, but we are very keen on saying thank you to everyone who's helped us. Yeah, good shit's coming. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:21 I like your way better. Good shit's coming. I could have just said that. I mean, it took you fucking 45 minutes to say that. What was that whole monologue when you could have just said? Oh, we've got all this stuff coming. Well, good shit's coming. Good shit's coming.
Starting point is 00:12:31 Fucking sit tight. All right. That's my saying. Hey, baby, what are you doing later tonight? Good shit's coming. I'm good shit, by the way. Hide your towels because good shit's coming. We were saying earlier that where I live, my apartment building,
Starting point is 00:12:48 turns out the most exciting place in the world. It really is. We've got like a Facebook group for the building. If zero was calm and collected and 10 was extremely passive aggressive. 67. 567. It's very- 567. It's very aggressive in that Facebook group, isn't it? The passive aggressiveness is just the, oh, just letting you know,
Starting point is 00:13:14 I've put your package in the mail room or whatever. And, like, people are being nice by doing that. So I'm like, why is everyone angry? I'm like, oh, this is a few months ago. Have you parked in someone else's spot? Even for just a minute? Oh, I just need to park out the front real quick. I'd organise a celebrant for your fucking funeral, to be honest. I'll speak at it.
Starting point is 00:13:30 If you parked in someone else's funeral. Just park your spot. Well, don't park in someone else's funeral. Don't park it. Oh, sorry, we're actually just conducting a service. This person's father's died. I just need to get some ciggies. I'm just grabbing some stuff from the shop.
Starting point is 00:13:45 Can you go watch it? I might just leave the keys in the ignition. Yeah. Yeah. Just make sure no one, like, touches the windows. I've just had them tinted. Yeah. Don't drive off.
Starting point is 00:13:53 I know he won't. Fucking hell. I'll be back in 10 minutes, all right? Yeah. Anyway, no. So it's pretty, I think most apartment buildings are the same, but the Facebook group for ours is, is like five buildings all in one thing. Oh, chaos.
Starting point is 00:14:08 So there's so many people. Yeah. And because people are like protective of where they live, so they want it to all be right and stuff. So I get it. But anyway, I've talked at length on this podcast about how there is a cat that comes into my backyard and I've called her John. Oh, hang on.
Starting point is 00:14:27 You've called her John? Yeah, her name's not John. I thought you've decided this. Well, she just kept coming over and I didn't know her mum and dad or anything. So the first time she came over and I was like, oh, that's John. I didn't know this. Yeah, her name's not John.
Starting point is 00:14:44 Her name's like Layla, I think. This changes everything. No, it doesn't. Because when we first met John was probably like the second episode of this podcast. Yeah, she's been around forever. She comes over like multiple times a day. Yeah, but then we learned that the owner of John listens to the pod.
Starting point is 00:15:02 Yes. And I assume that's how you got to know the name. No. So you've made the – okay. So because she just kept – like, you know how people would be like – Something just – hang on. Are you saying – No, I'm not a namer.
Starting point is 00:15:14 Are you saying that something that just arrived that you didn't plan for and you named it John? Because that's what my birth mum did. No, because I want John. Oh. Yeah. So it's a bit different. A bit different.
Starting point is 00:15:28 And you probably spelled it correctly with an H. Yeah. Whereas I was just J-O-N. Yeah. But that's how I know. She just got so lazy. She couldn't even put the H in. I think that's just how we know we are biologically related because our.
Starting point is 00:15:38 Can't spell. Can't spell. Yeah. Anyway, that's how you find her. You're like, oh, can you not spell? Oh, mum. Sorry, you've. You're like, oh, can you not spell? Oh, mum. Sorry, you've written this wrong. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:15:49 It must be you. Anyway, it's like a 10-year-old boy though. You're like, are you my mum? No, I'm just 10 years old and can't spell. Who the fuck are you? Do you have your pen license? Get out of my house. Anyway, so very early in the show I talked about John the cat
Starting point is 00:16:03 and John's mum, she lives a couple of doors down from me, and she messaged me and was like, hey, this is so random. I listen to your podcast and I'm pretty sure that's my cat. Her name's Layla. Anyway, so we've kind of got like a bit of a rapport. Like she'll message me on Instagram or she's messaged me before and been like, hey, is the cat around there? Because she won't come back. We can't find her. And you're like, oh, I haven't seen her. And she's like just me before and been like, hey, is the cat around there? Because she won't come.
Starting point is 00:16:25 We can't find her and you're like, oh, I haven't seen her and she's like just curled up on your couch. Yeah, I'm like patting her or something. With your hazmat suit. Anyway, so we kind of keep in touch a bit or if there's any drama in the Facebook group, we'll message. We'll debrief. Anyway, on Saturday night, I get this message from her,
Starting point is 00:16:42 John's mum, and she goes, I looked at it and she'd messaged me about half an hour beforehand and she goes, hey, I'm so sorry but we've just locked ourselves out. Oh, no. Like can you help us out? And I didn't see it until like half an hour later because it was like a Saturday night. And I saw it and I go, oh, my God, are you guys okay? Sorry I hadn't seen this earlier.
Starting point is 00:17:05 She's like, oh, we were actually heading out, so it's okay. Yeah. But, like, you didn't reply straight away. So, like, obviously you're out and you can't help anyway. All good. Obviously you're out. Well, actually, no, it is a Saturday night. I can see why you might assume that.
Starting point is 00:17:22 Why you'd assume that. Did we mention, was it yesterday we mentioned how hungover you were? Was that last Friday? Yeah, but that was the weekend before. Oh, okay, right. No, so I wasn't hungover. I had no excuse. I just knew you weren't going out that Saturday night.
Starting point is 00:17:37 So she's like, you're probably out, it's all good. And I was like, oh, no, that's okay. Oh, we'll probably be home by the time you guys get back. So you're just trying to go with her lie. Yeah, I'm trying to sound cool. I am out. I am at a VIP event, but it actually ends soon. Yeah, it ends around the time you'll be home.
Starting point is 00:17:57 Yeah, I'll be off the red carpet by then. Cut to Torbs and I. We're on the couch. We're eating homemade pizza. We're both wearing our uddies and, like, fucking on the couch. We're eating homemade pizza. We're both wearing our uddies and, like, fucking playing Mario Kart. Like, we're not. Haggard's Mario Kart.
Starting point is 00:18:13 The reason I hadn't been on my phone was because I was playing with a different device. Like, it wasn't because I was out having fun. Living my life. Drinking champagne with my friends. Like, I was, anyway. So she goes, is it okay if we message you later? And I was like, yep, all good, but can you text me instead of Instagram so that I see it?
Starting point is 00:18:28 Because I probably won't check my Instagram. I'm busy. Yeah, I'm busy. I'm out. And he goes, oh, my God. No, if you're out, honestly, it's fine. And I was like, oh, no, no, no, no, no. We'll be home by then.
Starting point is 00:18:38 It's fine. Anyway, then all of a sudden, like later, there's a fucking, like the doorbell, you know how my doorbell goes like do-do-do-do-do-do? Yeah, it's a bit heckish, yeah. And I'm like, oh, my God, what's going on? Who's here? And it's them. It's them.
Starting point is 00:18:54 And they need us to let them in. So their plan of attack was for them to come in through, like, our front door and then climb over our fence into, like, their house. Because your massive courtyard acreage backs onto. My horse stables. Your horse stables courtyard backs onto, like you could easily leg it to the next courtyard because they're like, what, two courtyards over?
Starting point is 00:19:14 Yes. And then they could duck in the back door. Yeah, so literally they just have to kind of like duck around the back. Oh, hang on a second. So that means they have to come through the house? They have to come through the house. And according to her. We've been out.
Starting point is 00:19:25 According to her imagination, you're dressed for your night out. You are probably a family that don't leave all your dirty washing on the table. You're probably well put together. That washing on the table is clean. It's always clean washing. It's never dirty washing. It's washing and it's on the table. Yeah, but it's clean.
Starting point is 00:19:43 It's not dirty washing. But probably, you know, we the table. Yeah, but it's clean. It's not dirty washing. But probably, you know, we've got to take some Uber Eats bags downstairs. Yeah, a couple of Domino's boxes. Yeah, you know, that kind of thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know. And so have you just started? When did you realise that they would be stepping foot in?
Starting point is 00:19:59 They're going to be coming through our house. Literally as soon as I was like, I've got to deal with that later. When she texts me, obviously they'll be like leaving the pub or something. We'll have like a couple of minutes. A 10-minute buffer. Yeah. Nah, they're at the door. They're at the door.
Starting point is 00:20:11 How was your night out, sweetheart? Yeah, so I let them in and I was like, oh, our unlock thing isn't working. I'll come down and get you to buy some time. Anyway. I'll go get them. Torbs. Yeah. Fucking throw everything over the balcony.
Starting point is 00:20:24 But I was in my hoodie. You have a man. With my Ugg boots. Was your face get them. Torbs. Yeah. Fucking throw everything over the balcony. But I was in my hoodie. Yeah. With my Ugg boots. Was your face done? Oh, no. And it never is. It's not even done now. But like if you were going out.
Starting point is 00:20:33 Oh, as in like if we'd been out. Oh, no. You could tell I'd been on the couch all day. Like there'd been no move. Yeah. My rings on my Apple watch were not shut. Like nothing had been done. Anyway.
Starting point is 00:20:44 And I'm like, fuck, they're here. I've got to fucking go and let them in. I'm in my Udi and my Ugg boots. My hair's just like piled on top of my hair. Did you have any pants on under the Udi? No. I was wearing my nightie and my Udi. I thought that might be the case.
Starting point is 00:20:56 I've seen this Tony Lodge before when I surprised you in the morning. Yeah. I was like, no pants required. I just fucking. Anyway. And they dressed really nice when you went down to get them? They'd been at the pub. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:07 And then they did some food shopping or whatever and then they, you know. Anyway, so I go down and get them and I hadn't met her partner before. Oh. Anyway, I went down there and I was like, please excuse my hoodie. And it's a red rooster hoodie. So you can't even like, it's not even a. A fancy hoodie. Think about a cool Udi.
Starting point is 00:21:26 It's definitely not a bright red, red rooster one. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. I don't think they've done it yet, but I think it's only a matter of time before we see a Gucci Udi. Oh. Or a Bulgari. What's that? Bulgari.
Starting point is 00:21:38 Because isn't there a Bulgari like trash bag? Probably. This week that's like a, you know, a weekend, but it just looks like a trash bag. Oh, my God. But because everyone's getting a bit like- 80 cents from Coles. Let's get that. But I feel like in time there will be a fancy hoodie.
Starting point is 00:21:52 But if I were to think Gucci, Louis Vuitton, Red Rooster. Yeah. I mean, all the classics. What's the odd one out? Louis Vuitton. Anyway, so I walk down there. So I've got like a fast food based clothing item on which is just fucking hell uncool like it's as if i'm like those cheesy nugs i swear yeah
Starting point is 00:22:12 it's like as if i'm not like oh you can tell that i'm fat you know that i am because i'm wearing a red rooster hoodie if there was doubts i am now wearing a red rooster hoodie and i get down there i was like oh my god i'm so like please excuse this they're like oh my god no it's fine and then i was like oh i'm my God, I'm sorry. Like, please excuse this. They're like, oh, my God, no, it's fine. And then I was like, oh, I'm Tony, by the way, like to her partner. And he's like, yeah, I'm pretty sure I've seen your partner down here. And I was like, oh, have you? Not even clicking. And he goes, yeah, you guys, like he's got a matching one of these, eh?
Starting point is 00:22:38 Like he's Udi. And I was like, oh, yeah, he does. And he goes, I've seen your partner down here getting, like, parcels from the postman. In his red rooster hoodie. In his hoodie. Was he winning the pooing? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:55 With no pants. He goes, I've seen your boyfriend with his hoodie and his Ugg boots. And I was like, no pants? And he was like, yeah, no pants. So you guys have really just left the greatest first impression on John's dad. And so I'm like, they're like looking cool. You have to live in the building with them.
Starting point is 00:23:12 They're both like pretty fish as well. Oh, I hate that. And so I'm like a fat loser wearing my fucking hoodie. And I'm like, hang on, but I'm saving the day here. Like I'm letting you in the house. Anyway, and so like I'm like, all right, hopefully Torbs has like tidied up the house and stuff. Sorry, I have one more question.
Starting point is 00:23:30 Oh, please. Yeah, what is it? Did he go, oh, I've seen your boyfriend wearing the same hoodie and you go, no, we've got one each. There's two. Which is worse? I think both. Having one each.
Starting point is 00:23:44 What can I last up? All right, sorry. So they get up to the roof. Yeah, so I'm like, oh, my God, hopefully, you know, like we can redeem ourselves a little bit. And anyway, they like see the light on under the door of their neighbour right next to them. And they're like, oh, he's home.
Starting point is 00:24:03 He's home. That's one less poor you. We've got to jump over. Yeah, and they're like, oh, we'll home. He's home. That's one less poor y'all we've got to jump over. And they're like, oh, we'll just ask him. Don't worry about it. Oh, thank God. No, but they've already seen me in the audience too late. Well, it could have got worse. I walk in the front door.
Starting point is 00:24:16 Torbs is wearing jeans and, like, the house kind of looks like a bit respectable. And I was like, oh, we fucked it anyway. They're not coming over. And Torbs is like, oh, he, he like puts his own back on. I put fucking jeans on for no reason. What is this, a weekday? He's like.
Starting point is 00:24:35 Well, I'm just glad to know that they got back safely. Yeah, so they're all good. They're taken care of. I reckon John the Cat has fucking snitched on you anyway. Oh, probably. He probably gets back and goes, you'll never guess the fucking pigsty going on over there. Yeah, she's probably telling them the intel.
Starting point is 00:24:50 But anyway, just like, you know when you just want a bit of street cred? We were like, we can make friends with the, you know. Nah, not going to happen. They're better than you. Yeah, they are. They're too good for you. How good are you love to see it? Please.
Starting point is 00:25:02 My love to see it was that story. Pretty funny. And just pour one out for fucking Red Rooster hoodies, can we? I think they actually call them ruggies. Like have a nuggy and a ruggy. Oh, that is cute. That is cute. Anyway, I digress.
Starting point is 00:25:17 It's almost been a year since you organized that Red Rooster sponsorship. You're welcome. You've never brought us any free food. Oh, no, I lie. You brought in the schnitzer. Thank you very much. I liked that schnitzer. Schnitzer with a pizza.
Starting point is 00:25:28 I could go with schnitzer right now. Oh, me too. I'm pretty hungry. I've got a sandwich in my bag, but do you know what I really feel like? Schnitzer. Like a burger or like a gyros or something. We can organise that. Yeah, let's do that.
Starting point is 00:25:38 All right. Quickly, let's finish this. Zach Witzel, you'll recognise that name. Big Tapa. Big Tapa. Big Tapa. In our Facebook group. And Zach has written and self-published a book. Get around.
Starting point is 00:25:53 Which is fucking amazing. That is incredible. It's called The Prism. And I'm going to read out the little blurb of the book. The Prism follows Quinn, who is selected to enter The Prism, alongside his fiancée Blair. The Prism is a government program whose goal is to
Starting point is 00:26:09 change the way warfare is conducted by using virtual and augmented reality technology to save lives and cost of war. The program is much more dangerous than advertised and now they are just trying to escape with their lives. Oh my god. So if you search Zach Witzel on Amazon, the prism will come up.
Starting point is 00:26:28 I think it's like $9. Yeah. So you'd be fucking kidding yourself not to buy it. She's got some smart, creative tapas, aren't they? Oh, my God. Amazing. And here's you are in your red rooster hoodie. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:40 Someone's writing books. Yeah, but I wasn't out. I wasn't doing anything. Yeah. But we'll pop the link in our thing or something. Yeah, what a legend. Or the info. But, Zach, you're fucking lovely to see.
Starting point is 00:26:50 You're up to date. Congratulations. That's awesome. I didn't know these existed. Have you heard of an equine therapy centre? Like horses? Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:59 So the horses hang out with patients, like human patients, to kind of like calm them down. Oh, like a therapy dog? Yeah, like a therapy patients, to kind of like calm them down. Like a therapy dog? Yeah, exactly. A therapy dog, but it's like a therapy horse. Oh, God, you can't take that on the train? No.
Starting point is 00:27:13 How small is your train? Sorry, mate. Yeah, the Equine Therapy Centre. And I saw this video. This guy is in – this one's in Brazil. Wow. And he's going through cancer treatment for lung cancer. Wow. In the chest.
Starting point is 00:27:27 He's having a bit of a rough time. Where the lungs generally are. Yeah, most of the time. Yeah. But the reason I point that out is because the horse walks over and rested its head on the man's chest, and it kind of like, it's like it knew, and it kind of just laid its head down,
Starting point is 00:27:41 and the man is just like bawling his eyes out. As you fucking would. And I don't know if I was tired or have had an emotional week, but that fucking did me when I saw that yesterday. I probably would have been emotional about that. I'm emotional listening to you telling me that. But we have had a big week. Big week.
Starting point is 00:28:00 So I will give you that one. Yeah. But that's a really lovely story. The fucking power of animals, eh? It's insane. Yeah, it is actually insane. So both the existence of the equine therapist and the people who are working there.
Starting point is 00:28:14 Oh, amazing. I'll put that video in the episode. But like, be in the right mood. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Not like me with the Amy Winehouse documentary. No, no. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:23 No, it's a, but it's beautiful. And I did love to see that. I did love to see that. So thanks very much for listening. Thanks for listening. Hope you had a great time. Make sure that you're ready for people to come over at all times. And Tony and I are off to get a gyros.
Starting point is 00:28:38 You! Fuck yeah, you'll love to see that. No, I don't want a bar in May. I want a gyros. My mistake, gyros. Yeah, okay, great. All right. I'm so fucking pumped for this gyros. Oh, me too. I'm fucking, May. I want a Euros. Or a bigger Os. Euros. Yeah. Okay, great. All right. I'm so fucking pumped for this Euros.
Starting point is 00:28:46 Oh, me too. I'm fucking, I'm so hungry. You know when you just went naughty food? Yeah. Yeah, like something real fucking hearty and like meaty. Yeah. Can we wear Udis while we eat it? Like the pieces of shit that we are?
Starting point is 00:28:54 Yeah. Yep. I've got mine on under this. Love you, bye.

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