Toni and Ryan - At the vet and in the bedroom
Episode Date: October 24, 2022WE HATE ADMIN!!! And Ryan is currently dealing with the ultimate admin question. Love ya! Toni xoxoxoox Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Fin...d #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Discussion (0)
Welcome to the podcast.
Hello.
Whoa.
Is that Evan?
Yes, it is.
It's Tony and Ryan.
Welcome to the podcast.
Do you approve this episode?
I do approve it, guys.
Yay!
We just listened to you right now talk about a hair straightener.
Oh.
Oh.
What side do you sit on, Evan?
Do you reckon I was in the right or in the wrong?
You're on the right.
You should have had a hair straightener.
Yeah.
They said Dyson on the website
Said it on the website
Thanks Evan
Really appreciate it
True word has never been spoken
Hey I'm Evan
And I'm from Melbourne
And I approve this podcast
Alright coming up today, I've got a favor to ask.
Sorry.
I've got a favor to ask, a question.
If you have recently got married or you're thinking of getting married,
I have some advice.
No, no, I need some advice.
Oh, my God.
Which one is it?
Well, I don't think I'm like the marriage advice guy.
I think that because you're so practical, like you're like, it's easy.
Like you're like, what's their advice to give about?
Like it's just, it is what it is.
Yeah, and I think.
You know. Okay, actually, I do have some marriage advice.
Oh.
You know the secrets of Bridget and I's very successful marriage?
What?
We actually get along.
Yeah.
I mean, it seems simple, doesn't it?
Well, like, I've worked in some, like, blokey environments.
Yeah.
And so has Bridget, actually, but there's a lot of, like,
oh, the missus, oh, I've got to go.
And I'm like, well, fucking you married her, shut the fuck up.
Yeah, wow.
Like, why don't you marry someone you like? Don't come in here and complain about I've got to go. And I'm like, well, fucking you married her. Shut the fuck up. Yeah. Wow. Why don't you marry someone you like?
Don't come in here and complain about someone you claim to love.
Why don't you come in here and say how great they are and stick up for them?
And like, you know, that saying like you're only as strong as your weakest link.
Like if you like are all lovey at home, but then you're an asshole about your partner at work.
Then you're an asshole.
Then you're an asshole.
Yeah.
Like your weakest part of your relationship is the part where you bitch about them to your friends yeah constantly yeah so
don't bitch about them no i mean don't have a conversation venting and being like oh this
thing happened or whatever that's fine but like people if you're constantly fucking
whinging about your partner or like saying horrible shit yeah i worked um i worked with this guy once who just like talked to us
about his wife all the time like in a really like derogatory way.
But, mate, you're talking about your wife there.
Yeah.
And like not only am I thinking to myself, oh,
how would I feel if I knew that he would never, but if Torbs was ever.
When Torbs was having beers with the lads.
If Torbs was talking about me like at work or something,
he would never do that.
But like I was just really upset and I actually was like, hey,
it actually makes me really uncomfortable when you talk about your life that way.
And this person was like, oh, well, it was like real lads-y.
And I was like, bro, I don't think that's okay.
The standard you walk past is the standard you accept.
I'm not going to have that.
Love that.
So apparently some people were bitching about their partners
at my wife's old place.
Yeah.
And it was almost like they looked across the bridge like,
oh, it's your turn.
And she goes, I actually like Ryan.
We get along real well.
And just like stared at them.
And they were like, oh, yeah.
Oh, that's nice.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's why we're married.
And, you know, then that's when people go, oh, well, must be nice.
Like, well, yeah, that's what marriage is for.
Yeah, we're really good friends and we get along,
so we decided to share our life together.
That was the same like during COVID.
People were like, oh, you know, like I have to hang out
with the husband all the time.
I'm like, oh, I could not think of anything better than hanging
out with Torbs 24-7.
Yeah, same.
I'm like, fuck yeah, lockdown again, baby.
I don't have to go out.
Fucking lock us down for five years.
Couldn't be happier.
Me and Bridge just hanging out, having a mad time.
Anyway.
Well, for someone who's not a marriage advice guy,
fucking pop that in your pipe and smoke it.
First, though, because I think I mentioned BJ's at the vet.
Yeah.
He's getting a tooth pulled.
Yeah.
And has to get the roots in the canal out and stuff.
Was that on Friday?
How is he?
He's a bit ginger and he's only eating soft food because obviously his mouth's real sore.
Oh, poor little thing.
Yeah, and I'll tell you what's real cute because he had to have like a local anesthetic.
He's like drooling, but he doesn't know he's drooling because his mouth's a bit numb.
Because he can't feel it.
Yeah.
And when he came out of the thing, he saw us and he kind of just walked up and like stood next to me and was like, yeah, he was right.
Oh.
So he needs some cuddles, but he's all good.
Oh, good.
I'm glad to hear it.
He's all good.
But this is things you can say at the vet and also in the bedroom.
Whoa, are you going to stick me with that thing?
It's fucking huge.
I've never heard anyone say anything like that before, so thank you.
Funny and also thank you.
Speaking of which, can you take care of this cock?
Cock-a-doodle, yes, I do.
Cock-a-doodle.
What are they going to do to my daughter in there?
Oh, wow.
Because when I take Pippi to the vet,
obviously I don't know what they're going to do to my daughter in there.
Yeah, yeah.
Sorry, Tony, but you might have to start a round of antibiotics after that.
Might have to start a round of antibiotics after that.
And on behalf of all tapas, can I just comment?
I know you've not been well,
but thanks for taking up smoking in the last few weeks. The fact you smoked a whole pack before today's ep is a real treat.
Someone commented yesterday and said,
I find Tony's phlegmy laugh endearing.
And I was like, no, you don't.
No one does.
This is for when you're meeting the vet for the first time.
I know you're not like a medical, like human doctor,
but do you still have a PhD?
First of all, excellent.
Second of all, they don't.
They're a doctor of veterinary science.
Are they?
Yeah.
Is that PhD?
No, that's D-V-S.
Love watching a DVD.
What do you do for a living?
I'm a DVD.
Oh, hi.
What are you showing today?
I actually don't know what they're called now when I think about it. DDS.
No, that's DDS.
This is something you can say in the bedroom
at the vet and I've also heard
yelled out at this
drunk woman who was screeching at the horse
racing. Oh.
Would someone put a muzzle on it? yelled out at this drunk woman who was screeching at the horse racing. Oh. Oh!
Would someone put a muzzle on it?
Yep.
I've brought a prop.
And I know you're a fan of a prop gag.
Do you know how to open the box?
And that's not one of them? That's not one. And I know you're a fan of a prop gag. Do you know how to open the box?
And that's not one of them? That's not one.
I hope this is worth it.
It is.
You got there, mate.
Oh, no.
Hang on.
Can I just bring people up to speed. Hang on.
Can I just bring people up to speed?
Hang on.
I'm just getting another pop. Okay.
So can I bring people up to speed?
Tony is attempting to put on a rubber glove.
And the first time, you know when you get the thumb and the little finger around the wrong way,
so then she flipped it and then pulled it too tight and just it snapped back and ripped open over her hand.
I think she's had and also in the bedroom.
Are we ready?
I'm ready.
What seems to be the problem?
Do you want me to have a look at that for you?
This dog's going to get its prostrate.
Take the glove off.
It's so threatening.
Don't.
Isn't it?
Now she's naughty nursing me.
We're going to have to put it in the bum, aren't we?
If you don't want him to throw up, then yeah, you have to.
Oh, did you bring your bitch in?
Does that bitch always howl like that?
How old's that bitch?
I hear there's a pussy that requires urgent attention.
Has that pussy been fixed?
It is very important to keep your pussy clean.
I've always said that.
Mine's self-cleaning, but hers isn't.
If you keep misbehaving, I'm going to have to put you on a leash.
You little sick puppy.
Don't give me those puppy dog eyes.
He was very thorough.
Looked everywhere.
Absolutely everywhere.
He's got a VDVD.
He's got a DDSVDSDDB.
Hey, can you hold her down while I stick this in?
Because of COVID, your parent can't come in with you.
Because of COVID, your parent can't come in with you.
Because of COVID, you have to stay outside.
It's for the best.
You might hear some things, though.
She copped it so badly, we might need to put her down.
Put her down on the ground for a walk.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Do you guys sell food here?
Because this bitch is starving.
Because this pussy needs to be filled.
This pussy needs to be filled. This pussy needs to be fed.
This is for when your dog has eaten something they've found,
like, in the backyard or the park or something. Oh, yep.
Oh, she swallowed all that.
She's going to need a stomach bath.
She's had her arsehole pumped already.
So the actual procedure is only like, you know, three or four minutes,
but you'll sleep really well after.
Yeah, yep, fact.
With those gloves, can I borrow them for a sec?
Although I don't think they're the right ones
because I'm going to need the ones that go right up to the elbow.
What are you, birthing a cow?
Double fisted.
She's got a name.
This is when you're on the phone to make the appointment.
Yep.
Yeah, what time did you want to come in the back door?
Yeah, the front door's not as safe.
She doesn't look well, but...
Let me look at her
and usually I can figure out if she prefers to take it orally or rectally,
just from the look.
You can't ask her?
You can just tell, you know.
She's gacked.
Oh, God.
We're going to have to put one of those big collars on you
so you stop licking my wound.
You can't get enough.
They keep licking their own wound.
We're going to put you in a collar.
I can't reach my own axe wound.
Tarpa Emily is actually a vet.
Sorry, Emily.
And this is how she sent this in.
She has to tell people to clean their dog's ears.
Because apparently dog's ears can get really infected.
Yeah.
And she said, every time I say this at work, I think of this podcast.
And she's like, finally, my time has arrived.
Actually, let me drink some cold water before I read this in.
Oh.
So this is Emily asking a customer, patient, what do you say,
that they need to clean behind their dog's ears.
So you're going to have to pinch the base just here
and make sure you really get your fingers around it
and massage it until it kind of squelches a little bit.
It's normal for them to shake a little bit after
and then you can wipe off any excess.
Yeah.
Right.
Cool.
I've said that privately, yeah, but not out loud.
The thing about cleaning their ears is that you need to avoid yeast infections.
Because if you've got a yeast infection, you can't have any fun.
No.
This is for when you're taking the dog's temperature.
Stay still.
I need to put this in your asshole.
I'll get you to shave the area first.
It makes cleaning it up easier.
God.
A successful appointment.
On the way out, I might get a toy for me pussy.
Just really deserve it.
Treat yourself.
You've had a rough day.
If you give him a treat, he'll do tricks. Oh.
Don't wag that thing.
Oh. Spin it. Don't wag that thing. Ooh.
Spin it.
Hey, I'm Evan.
I'm from Melbourne,
and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. How could one girl have so much liquid in her body and that's not one?
Welcome back to the podcast.
Tony's just blown her nose and said,
what I think is the funniest thing ever.
Oh, thank you.
I really appreciate that.
You're welcome. A few more thank you. I really appreciate that. You're welcome.
A few more people that I hope really appreciated that.
Some of our champion tapas over at our Patreon.
Emily Zerlinden.
Things you can say having a cold and also in the bedroom.
Annabelle Dunphy.
I love Modern Family.
Yep.
Christine Clark.
Leo Shaw.
Stacey Yoshizumi.
Nicole Zuroville.
Anna Maria Louisa Dax.
Do you want to buy a vow?
Jesus Christ.
Would you do any more fucking names?
Anna Maria Louisa Dax.
Annie Peterson, Georgia Atkins, Nick Chivers, and Amanda.
Amanda.
Is it fair to say that more than ever before in history,
you can't really assume that couples will get married at some stage.
Totally, yep.
And that the girl is going to take the boy's name
because that's how we've always done it
and that's what marriage is supposed to be.
It's just like, I don't know if it's our friends
or maybe living in Melbourne, which is more like a progressive sort of thing,
but you can't just go, oh, you guys are going to get married
and you take the name and it's all a done deal.
Is that fair to say?
Totally.
I think, do you reckon as well it's because, like, back in the day,
like, well, in my parents' day, this is, like, the example I'm going
to use, that, like, my mum, like, had a job but, like,
until later in life she didn't really, like, have a career.
Yeah.
So now people, like, work on their careers for longer before like getting
married and like if you've established yourself as like tony lodge then like if i was to get
married it's like well do i want to change my name because like my email you know seo like
someone googles you especially like professionals who are like on linkedin and an expert in their
field and stuff like that.
So it's like you Google the name and then it changes when you're whatever age.
Like which is just.
If you get married, will you change your name?
Because I mean, Tony Lodge.
Undecided.
Yeah.
I don't, I don't know.
I'm not saying this to be a dick.
Yeah.
But it sounds like a dick thing to say.
Uh-huh.
Would Tony Lodge be your like stage name?
Like Ryan John is for you.
Well, that's just my middle name.
But that's like not your last name.
I'll tell you why that is the case.
Yeah.
Because when I was like doing radio and an accountant at the same time,
I didn't want my accounting clients to Google me and see me like dancing in a dress being a fuckhead.
Yeah, right.
Yeah, so I was trying to like, you know how teachers change their names
so their kids can't find them?
Yeah.
And then it kind of stuck and now I don't know, it is what it is.
Oh, but like it's no shade.
It doesn't matter.
But like that's your like stage name.
Yeah, it irks me hearing that.
But I'm asking you the same thing so I get it.
It's just so awkward.
But it is.
I really don't know.
I'm not really attached to my last name.
Like, I don't.
You know how lots of people are like, oh, I'm really proud to, like, be.
Yeah.
Smith, so I don't want to change my last name or whatever.
You know, I don't know.
Lodge the word itself.
Take it or leave it.
Yeah, like, I don't really care except.
Are you allowed to be the heiress of the Tobor own fortune if you don't take his name?
I fucking hope so. Yeah? I fucking hope so.
Yeah.
I fucking hope so.
I hope I don't have to be called Toblerone to get it
because Tony Toblerone, like, that's pretty cruel.
That's, I'd say, cool.
I think that, like, the double T is, like, awful.
Perfect, alliteration.
I'm from commercial radio.
Everything needs alliteration.
And my favourite station listening to, that I listened to when I was younger was Double TFM.
Double TFM.
And that's what I will call you for the rest of your life.
I just don't know if I could do the double name to myself.
So Bridget and I got married less than two years ago.
Yeah.
We actually got married like four days after we met, the two of us.
Yes.
Yeah.
Because you were about to get married.
To get married, yeah.
And I met Bridget the day she picked up her wedding dress from Georgia Young.
Really?
Yeah.
There you go.
Yeah.
She was wearing an orange t-shirt dress with white runners and her brown Oraton bag and
she'd just picked up her wedding dress.
And you can actually confirm that because I'm pretty sure there's a picture on her Instagram
of her picking up the dress in that outfit.
Yep.
And it's awkward because at work you tried to kiss me that day
and then yeah and then it was the end of the show like what i would do you know how we did like the
dear diary segment of um summer breakfast and i was like dear diary my wife's come to watch the
end of the show which is awkward because she's standing next to tony who just tried to pass me
earlier did i try to kiss you yeah what what was the circumstance i don't know i just remember i
don't remember that i love that you tried to show. I remember once at work you said,
why aren't you wearing any pants?
Because I was wearing active wear.
I was wearing leggings and that was a bit awkward as well.
Lots of sexual tension between us.
Bridget and I got married about two years ago.
Bridget still.
And it was like during lockdown.
So it was a bit random as well.
Us, a photographer and the celebrant.
No other people attended.
Actually perfect.
So Bridget still hasn't changed her name on all of the documents.
And we weren't fussed about changing our name at first,
but then we thought, oh, and this was important for Bridget.
She just wanted to have the same name as her kids if they come along.
Yeah.
And so could you hear those horror stories of like the kids on the plane
but the kids got a different last name and the flight attendant's like, where's the kid's parent? Yeah. And you're like, hear those horror stories of like the kids on the plane, but the kid's got a different last name.
The flight attendant's like, where's the kid's parent?
Yeah.
And you're like, I'm the parent.
I'm the mum.
Oh, but the name's too.
And like, she was like, oh, it'd just be nice for our family to have the same name.
She was like, I don't really care what that name is, but I just want us all to be the
same.
That's fair.
So you discussed it before you got married that she was going to take your name?
Yeah.
And I was more of a question.
Was there ever any discussion of you taking her name?
I guess Ryan Rotter is pretty awful.
Double RFM.
Yeah.
A little bit.
We both weren't overly fast.
We just wanted to be the same.
Yeah.
And that's just the one we went with.
Yeah.
And she still two years later hasn't done it all because it's like
to change your licence you need a bank slip with the new name.
But to get the bank slip, you have to have the other thing.
And then the council has to approve the driver's license.
And before you go to the passport, so like you don't just go rock up one time.
As someone who is fucking allergic to admin, like that is a nightmare to me.
Yeah.
Two years of admin.
Is it worth it?
Is it fucking worth it?
The reason that maybe the uptake has been slow is because Bridget's like,
I don't actually care that much.
And there's so much.
Like I said, you need something before you need the other thing.
It's like a merry-go-round.
So we're about a week away from moving into Beyonce's Airbnb.
Fucking how exciting.
Two weeks away.
And.
I keep forgetting, but it's like genuinely so fucking exciting.
Well, we can't get excited yet and let me explain why.
Oh.
We get a message from the bank saying.
That's never good.
No, it never is.
The bank never calls.
It goes, oh, you'll never believe it.
We made a clerical error.
Have 10 grand.
Yeah.
No, never. Yeah. And they never just call and ask how you are. How you been? No. I just wanted to shoot the breeze. never calls it goes oh you'll never believe it we made a clerical error have 10 grand yeah no never
yeah and they never just call and ask how you are how you been no i just wanted to shoot the brace
yeah just thought we'd chat see how you're going when the bank calls you're like fuck fuck i'm
gonna have to fill something in yeah i'm gonna have to print something off you know that's kind
of where it's going don't wink at me when you say i'm gonna have to fill something in because i just
felt something well you said you wanted to kiss me before.
That's not how I heard it.
What did you hear me say?
Should we explain that off edge?
No.
Okay.
Tony is doing this thing where she gaslights people.
It's really fun.
What did you hear me say?
What did you hear me say?
I heard what I heard.
That's my truth. So we're obviously, you know, you get the mortgage and the home loan
and they're like, cool, we need 10 points of ID.
We need this for the settlement.
Your lawyer has to sign here.
We need three pay slips from the last whatever, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
And I'm guessing that like because if you're already in the bank system,
everything has to match.
It has to match.
So you can't be Tony Lodge in one spot and then Tony Smith in another.
So my – you know, I've got that really little apartment in WA.
Yes.
When I lived in WA, I bought a house there, tiny little apartment.
It cost a dollar.
Yeah, literally they could not give it away and I was like,
I will be the jerk that takes up this renovator's delight.
Cozy.
Yeah, very cozy.
And I found out six months later that I didn't own the house
because they spelt John with a H.
So I had to get approval for a plumbing thing.
And they're like, can you bring ID?
And they're like, you don't own this house.
This belongs to Ryan John J-O-H-N.
What?
Because someone did a typo somewhere.
And like you said, everything has to match.
And because they're all like, it's very procedural.
And it's not like.
But it's also computers.
But it's not common sense.
So computers don't apply common sense.
They just go, does not match.
It doesn't match.
Yeah.
So six months in, I was like, oh.
You're like, well, I've been paying for the fucking thing.
Yeah.
So who owns it then? Some other Ryan John with a I was like, oh. You're like, well, I've been paying for the fucking thing. Yeah, so who owns it then?
Some other Ryan John with a H.
Oh, fuck.
So anyway, we want to have the name in our house.
Yeah.
The house in our name.
Yep.
Yep.
The name in our, yep.
Yep.
Yep.
But it turns out Bridget's pay slips are a different name
because it's still like her old name.
Her career name.
Her career name.
And so the bank's gone.
Bridget's stage name.
So the bank's like, oh, we have no income records for Bridget Dunn because she.
Doesn't exist.
Well, she's unemployed.
Well, there's underemployment and income.
It is zero.
And you. Fuck off. Yeah. And I'm like, she's like, oh, I've got married. unemployed well there's on under employment and income it is zero and you fuck off yeah and i'm
like she's like oh i've got married and so bridget rod has been earning and of course the bank a
computer is like yeah cool for her who's that yeah yeah good for bridget rodder but bridget
dunn wants this house and no comprehenday no income no money what's your husband do oh he's
a white guy with a podcast.
And you want a home loan.
Yeah, wow.
An unemployed lady and a guy with a podcast.
Fucking right, eh?
Probably not.
So I need to actually make a formal announcement.
Oh.
There will be a slight delay in the dips and dips housewarming
that everyone's invited to because I don't want to get everyone
all jazzed up and excited and ordering the dips because they'll go off because there may be
like a bit of time shuffling, maybe an extra week.
A bit of paperwork.
Yeah, a bit of paperwork issues.
So you actually, like has it delayed you guys being able to move in?
Well, when they say, oh, it's all good,
can you just provide evidence that Bridget Dunn has earned money?
And we go, well, it's not all good because we can't.
We can't because that person isn't this person.
Yeah.
So maybe I'll just head down and make today.
Oh, my God.
Say goodnight to the guys.
See, how stressful.
If I just stay, like if I'm to get married, if I just stay a lodge,
how much easier?
Because I'll just be a lodge forever and then I don't have to worry about it.
You don't have to worry about this issue.
And if there's one thing I know about you, avoiding admin is your forte.
It is my full-time job is avoiding admin.
Would you, on behalf of us, go down to the bank and have a chat?
I have.
I have done that.
You have done that.
You actually have.
Tony's a signature on my rigid, nice little tax thingy.
I am, yep.
Well, as a trustee, beneficiary, I don't know,
I'm just saying words now.
Me either.
As a person of signage status, can you go sort of there?
Do you think that they'll let me?
Like I signed one official document for them.
I'm now their spokesperson.
I think it's more like how do I say this without coming off like a knob?
I've exhausted my avenues of attempts of trying to explain pleasantly.
To me?
No, to the.
To the bank.
Well, when you explain it, they go, yeah, yeah, yeah, it all makes sense.
However, and you go, what do you mean however?
Just fix it.
So actually, what is the plan of it?
Well, I'm going to need you to go down there and sort it out.
Okay, I'll go down there.
Yeah.
Yep, I'll do that for you.
All right.
Could you do something for me?
Sure.
Is that fair?
Ooh, what should I ask you to do?
I've got one more thing that's fucked me off.
Oh, okay.
While you think about that.
Yeah.
I owe you one.
We were talking about how I took BJ to the vet.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, so when you took Pippa to the vet, did they go,
what's her last name?
Yeah, they did.
And what did you say?
She's Pippa Lodge.
So guess what?
The first time we went to this vet, Bridget took her.
Him.
Him.
And BJ is BJ Rotter.
Yeah.
Well, so because they just say, what's your name?
Yep.
And I said, Tony Lodge.
And then they go, great.
And PIPA, is that P-I-P-A?
And I was like, yep. And they're like, great.
And then I get all this paperwork and it says PIPA Lodge.
And I said to Torbs, oh, my God, I'm really,
because that sounds like something we should have chatted about.
Do we want to hyphenate?
Yeah.
So –
People on Toblerone.
Yeah.
So last week I think I just dropped him off before we did an episode.
Yeah.
And, you know, there's a bit of a brouhaha about where I parked.
About you parking.
Yeah.
And so I was already a bit funny because I said –
I've got BJ Dunn here.
Then I went to pick him up and I go, I'm here to get BJ.
And they go, what's your last name?
I said, Ryan Dunn.
And they go, oh, sorry, we don't have- but is it BJ Rodder?
And I went, oh, yeah, that'd be it.
And she goes, oh, so is it- he's not yours though?
You're just picking him up?
How offensive.
Cut a fucking man down to his knees. Yeah.
And earlier that day
I said, just because he's a rescue doesn't mean he's
not my child. Is that quite triggering for you?
Am I going to have to roll that line at it? Yeah, well, it was
a little bit. Because you're adopted, obviously.
As we've discussed many
times. This is how I
got traded. And then she goes, well,
so you're adopted. Well, this girl used to put
this sandwich in her mouth.
And that's a bit like that, isn't it?
That would actually explain a few things because the dog has stopped chewing,
but he's just walking around with sandwiches in his mouth.
Is he a rescue?
He's not really yours, is he?
If it's your first episode, that would make no sense for fucking anything.
Go back and listen. All good. Fuck. Well, yeah, that will make no sense for fucking anything. Go back and listen.
All good.
Fuck.
Well, yeah, I mean, it is a fucking admin nightmare.
I'd actually love to hear what other people went through
and whether they reckon it's worth it or not.
So here's the two questions we'll put in the episode thread.
One, did you change your name slash are you planning on changing your name?
Where are you at with that?
Because as we said, a lot of people just like,
well, don't bother anymore.
Yeah.
And two, I want to hear these fucked stories of like,
admin nightmares, who owns the dog?
Yeah.
Is that really your kid?
Did you also go and assault a banker for...
Verbally?
Verbally, staringly.
How did he assault you?
Verbally?
Physically? No, staringly. Staringly. How did he assault you? Verbally? Physically?
No, staringly.
Staringly.
Well, he brought his dog in.
The dog had a different last name.
It wasn't even his.
Fucking stole it on the street.
Ivor, you'll love to see it.
Please, bring me back.
That I think we'll cheer up.
This admin chat has stressed me out.
It's stressful.
I could be homeless in three weeks.
Mate, you can come move in with Torbs and I and Pip a lodge.
Fine. I'll be in a house that's not mine with a dog I don't own in three weeks. Mate, you can come move in with Torbs and I and Pippa Lodge. Fine.
I'll be in a house that's not mine with a dog I don't own.
Two dogs.
Two dogs you don't own because Pippa's mine.
Yeah.
Just be a homeless, dogless arsehole.
Oh.
Are we on a podcast right now or am I in a therapy chair?
I'm trying to...
Yeah, bring me back.
Bring me back.
What do you love to see?
I've got a comment here from Dwayne McCarthy.
Oh, g'day, Dwayne.
Dwayne is a big tarpa.
I'm sure you've seen his name pop up a few times.
Dwayne says,
I love to see my Frank Green tarpa water bottle being recognised in public.
Fucking get it, Dwayne.
Brought it to the gym today and someone asked me,
when did your tarpa water bottle arrive?
Making new gym buddies thanks to Tony and Ryan and Frank Green.
You fucking love to see that.
You love to see that.
Sorry to throw you under the bus if you don't have an answer.
Do we know where he's from?
No, I actually don't.
I'm going to assume it's not New Zealand because they have the slowest postage in the world.
Yeah, it's been a bit of a fucking rigmarole trying to get that.
I'm looking at Dwayne.
Dwayne, Dwayne, Dwayne.
Where are you from, Dwayne?
View main profile.
Oh, you're hearing a live stalking.
Yeah, I am live stalking.
In real time.
Dwayne.
Oh, Dwayne's got a cat.
How cute.
Oh, he lives in Port Douglas.
Oh, Queensland.
Yeah, so he's in Australia.
Love it.
He's in Port Douglas like fucking lovely. Beautiful, yeah. Really Douglas. Oh, Queensland. Yeah, so he's in Australia. Love it. He's in Port Douglas, like fucking lovely.
Beautiful, yeah.
Really nice.
Yeah, lush.
I also have a lot to see.
Dwayne looks quite cool actually.
Okay.
Dwayne, are you listening?
I hope so.
Yeah, I hope so.
I've got to love to see it.
Please.
What is it?
Sorry it was a very dog heavy episode.
No, I live for it.
Literally yesterday I left work early because I missed Pippa.
I wonder why you ducked off early.
You know how in movies dogs and wolves, especially wolves,
are often the evil, scary, bad guy kind of thing?
Yeah.
So it turns out he's like a movie industry inside Goss.
Oh, yep.
They need to use CGI on the dogs and the wolves
because their tails are wagging too much on set
because they're having so much fun.
But of course, when you see a dog with their tail wagging and smiling...
It's happy.
Yeah, they don't look like the angry villain dog.
So they need a CGI in its tail to be straight
because they're having too much fun and because they're being good boys
doing what they're told.
That just fucking melt your heart.
Oh, my God, shit, Tony's crying.
What a cute problem.
Their tail's wagging too.
They're too excited.
That dog's too happy.
That dog's too cute.
We're going to have to CGI in some evilness.
That's adorable. That's my cute. We're going to have to CGI in some evilness.
That's adorable.
That's my year.
Yeah.
I actually have to edit some of our videos because you look too beautiful.
I was like, no, we can't have that.
We can't have the glamour distracting from the comedy.
Now who's trying to kiss who?
Sounds like you're trying to kiss me.
Yeah.
How am I going?
Well, you're welcome to be blessed with my presence. Yeah, I am blessed with your presence.
And I'll try and stop wagging my tail so I don't look so happy.
Maybe you'll have to say that.
We're back tomorrow. Again, they
fucking just keep letting us post shit.
To be honest, it's fucking cowboy world on the internet.
We're allowed to just keep posting this shit.
Tomorrow's you'll have to see it.
I already know what it is. I know mine too.
But I have
done something with your money
without your permission.
But I'll have to see it.
Okay.
So, I mean, get around it.
Great.
I'm glad you're happy.
Yeah.
And thank you for contributing for the purchase.
How could you get into my bank account?
We don't have the same last name.
See you tomorrow.
Love you. Bye. see you tomorrow love you bye