Toni and Ryan - Be Part Of History
Episode Date: March 22, 2023You don't HAVE to do this - you GET to do it! Come on down to the Sydney Opera House at 9am on Saturday April 1st to be part of the BIGGEST VIDEO IN AUSSIE HISTORY! Fuckin' love ya! Toni xo Check out ...our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Welcome to the podcast. My name is Ryan. This is author Tony Lodge and we are calling Chris who is in Toronto.
Toronto.
Toronto.
Oh, a dog has walked in.
A dog has walked in.
Hello?
Hey, is that Chris?
This is Chris.
It's Tony and Ryan. How are you doing?
Hi, Chris.
I'm actually doing really well.
It's my birthday and I'm hiding in a sushi.
All you can eat is steak.
Hey.
Oh, my God.
Well, happy birthday.
Happy birthday.
Why are you hiding in the sushi place?
I can't eat it at the table.
I'm talking to you guys.
That would be rude.
Yeah.
Well, first of all, it's your birthday.
You can do whatever you like, but I do appreciate that.
But while you're hiding and taking the call, do you approve the podcast?
I definitely approve the podcast.
Well, happy birthday.
Yes.
Two bangers in one.
Yes.
Hey, it's Chris from Toronto, and I approve this podcast.
All right, coming up on this episode, I was going to say we need your help,
which we do.
Yeah.
But let me frame it slightly different.
We've got an opportunity for you to be a part of history.
I like that.
And that's fair, isn't it? Yeah.
I also really love the perspective of, like, you don't have to, you get to. And it
feels a bit like that. You get to be a part of history. And that's for people in Sydney and
New South Wales. Yeah. More details coming up soon. Yeah. Oh, just very quickly. I think I
need to remind myself more about the, I don't have to, I get to thing. Yeah. I feel like I'm
in a bit of a funk at the moment and maybe that's like I'm forgetting. Is it because we're still in the post-COVID haze?
I, when you said, yeah, as soon as you said that,
I think you must be right.
You know when you just.
Because I've had a bit of it as well.
Just like low energy, just like no mojo.
Yeah.
Mojo, more like nojo is how I feel ATM currently at this time.
Okay, well, first of all, too many acronyms.
That will drag a person down.
I'm carrying all this weight of trying to remember
what acronyms stand for.
But welcome to this pumped up, full of life comedy podcast.
No, I feel pumped now.
Do you?
No, as soon as you just.
Because it sounded like you said, I fucking hate myself.
No, but then I said, I need to remind myself about the,
I don't have to, I get to.
You get to do a podcast every day.
Yes, and that's why I'm saying I'm pumped up now.
And I have to work here.
Can you not be?
I literally just said I don't feel well.
We're back, we're back.
A chance to be part of history.
We're going to be part of history.
I mean, I'm piggybacking.
You'll be fucking history because you'll be dead.
That was quite funny.
Sorry.
It was funny if I wasn't so just pointed.
Yeah.
Jesus.
Jesus.
Normal.
Let's do normal or nah.
Washing new clothes before wearing them.
Normal or nah, asks Rebecca.
I wash new clothes just in case someone tried them on.
Maybe they were sweaty or they were a snotty kid and they were wiping their boogers.
But my partner, says Rebecca, a complete psychopath in bold letters,
just rips the label off and put it on.
I'm going to say nah, I don't wash the clothes before I wear them.
Also, I don't buy clothes that a snotty kid will have tried on because they wouldn't fit me.
Like I would never go, oh, no, Charles tried this up, obviously.
I reckon you only get one crack at a first wear.
Like, you know, you put fresh socks on for the first time
or a new shirt and it just feels right.
As soon as you wash it, then it's just another shirt from the wash.
Oh, yeah.
You don't get that first feel feel.
Yeah, no, I do know what you mean. So, Rebecca, your partner's not a, yeah. You don't get that first feel feel. Yeah.
No, I do know what you mean.
So, Rebecca, your partner's not a complete psychopath.
You just sound like an asshole.
Though I have like ruined a few things by not washing jeans first.
You know when sometimes you wear a new pair of jeans
and they're quite inky and that goes like either on your shoes
or on like. Like that?
Yes, exactly like that.
Yeah, these shoes are fucked because of the blue jeans I've been wearing.
Yeah.
So.
How do you fix that?
I mean, how do you avoid that?
So I think that if you wash jeans before, I mean, if it's still happening, it might just be not a good combination of the jeans.
Like you've obviously washed the jeans.
Let's not just be throwing wild assumptions out there.
But like obviously you've washed those jeans, right,
between when you first got them and now because you've had those jeans
for a while.
Yeah.
They would have been washed.
Yeah, but not for a while though.
The damage has been done with the shoes.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
But there's these things, right?
You know that Mums Who Clean Facebook group?
Yes.
Apparently it's a thing.
They're called colour catchers.
And if you put them in the wash with your clothes,
it like pulls the excess dye out.
Or like if you've got a shirt that's like, you know,
like a baseball tee that's like white but it's got like red sleeves
and you want to wash it but the
red and the white can like merge together well is it a whites or is it a color exactly right
baseball is sorted i know how are you doing it your mom's must be having a fucking field day
um but yeah apparently if you use those color catcher things it's like sheets you just put
in your so it's not very interesting. No, please tell me more.
Apologies, everyone. What other cleaning tips have you got?
Stay tuned.
For someone who's not a mother and does no cleaning,
you spend a lot of time in the monsoon clean face.
Because I learn lots of good stuff.
The other day Torbz dropped some curry.
Before we start, do you believe this story is interesting?
Yes. The other day Torbz dropped some curry on a T start, do you believe this story is interesting? Yes.
The other day, Torbs dropped some curry on a T-shirt,
and it wasn't white, but it was like light grey,
and he was like, oh, my God.
So he put it in the wash and it didn't come out,
and he used like the sard stick or whatever.
And I was like, oh, my God, I saw just the other day
in the Mums Who Clean Facebook group that they used a little bit
of dish soap, like dish.
Oh.
Interesting.
Yep.
Yeah, and because it's got like the degreasing powers in it,
you rub that on there and then put that in the wash
and it came straight out.
You want to say you hate it, but that's kind of interesting.
Okay.
Here's the thing.
I do want to say I hate that.
But as someone who.
Drops carry on themselves a lot.
And I would say, what percentage of my T-shirts do you reckon
have stains on the front?
A hundred percent.
That's fucking rude, but I would have accepted mid to high 90s.
Yeah.
This one.
All you have to worry about is the inch that is shown
between your denim jacket.
Well, the reason I wear the jacket is because you would be surprised
how far and wide the carry can get on this shirt.
You spluttered it down both sides shirt um here we go normal or not when you take your clothes off at either the doctor or a massage
place karina asks uh taking off clothes like the speed of light for fear they'll come back into the
room too quickly and you'll be standing there in your underwear like a freak normal or nah
kind of normal but you can't go too fast in case they come they
go oh i forgot something they come straight back in thinking well there's no way they've taken their
clothes off already and then you're already naked and they go oh i'm just gonna go oh oh
like oh they're naked or or yeah oh okay like so if you do it too quickly to the point where
they go oh well there's no way that they'll be naked already,
I'll just pop back in and grab that syringe, I don't know,
if you're at the doctor or something.
What have you got an appointment for?
No, we've got the doctor.
I don't know.
I don't fucking know.
I'm just guessing.
Because, yeah, if you go too fast, then they're like, well,
there's no way that they're naked yet.
So why is it, and, like, I mean, I don't know the answer,
why is it that even though the doctor or the masseuse
or the beautician is about to see us pretty much naked anyway,
why is it that them walking in mid-stripping off is so weird?
I look better laying down than I do standing up.
It smooths out the bumps, eh?
Yeah.
Gravity just doesn't work.
Yeah.
Like I agree, but then when you think about it, you're like, oh, I mean you're coming back in here anyway. Yeah. Gravity just doesn't work. Yeah. Like I agree, but then when you think about it, you're like,
oh, I mean, you're coming back in here anyway.
Yeah.
I also always really stress about how I'm going to say, yep,
when they, you know, how when they.
What do you mean, she says it?
What are the different ways you can say it?
No, so I never know whether to, when they go, if I go, yep,
or if I go, come in, or like, all good, or like, yes.
Like I just never, I just always really freak out about it
because I don't want to be like, come in.
You know, who is it?
Well, obviously, because you're not a fucking idiot.
So hang on, what have you landed on?
Well, this is the same stress that I go through every single time.
The amount of things you can find stress in yes is remarkable thank you um so what's the
the fear that you'll say well i mean the fear is you'll do that last one and the person will be
like fucking whack yourself sweetheart that sounds fucking awful in there come so yeah what
what is it that you so i normally yeah like it – but that just seems like – I don't know.
I just – see, I'm like panicking right now.
I feel like the most reasonable one is like, yep, all good.
Like as in, yes, I've done what you asked me to.
I'm like now laying down under the sheet or whatever.
I know it's only going to freak you out.
What?
It's there you go.
I'll let you get changed.
You let me know when you're ready.
And then what do you do?
Hello?
Hello?
Whilst I am the same, I get changed as fast as I can.
Yeah.
I wouldn't say it's a fear, but when you're laying there for too long,
then you're just a guy laying in someone else's house with no clothes on.
Yeah.
And that's even weirder.
Yeah, and then you don't know whether to.
All good? Yeah, so you don't know whether to oh good yeah so
you don't know whether to go there like wait for longer to make it seem like you didn't like get
naked really quickly or then they're like think you know what i mean there's just like so many
so now that you've mentioned it there was one day that i forgot my manners and they said i'll just
let you get changed here and i I got changed in an instant.
Yeah.
And then, like I said, I felt silly because I was just laying there.
Yeah.
But you can't go, yep.
Like that's too quick.
Eventually she comes in and was sort of like, you all good?
And I was like, yeah.
Oh, like you're like, obviously. Like I've been waiting here. Toots. Yeah. Oh, like you're like, obviously, like I've been waiting here.
Toots.
Yeah.
Oh, I didn't drop a toots.
Sorry.
That would be too much.
I wasn't getting a massage in the 70s.
I reckon lots of people in the Facebook group today,
in today's episode thread, I reckon lots of people will agree with that because I think it's a very real fear.
It's the same at my massage, at my beauty place.
If I get a facial there, like I have to get undressed
and then I'm on the bed.
For a facial?
Because it comes like down to, so it's not like all the way undressed,
but it's like take your top off and like slip your bra up.
I was going to say, what I imagined a facial was.
Yeah, a different kind.
I'm not, I think it's facial was. Yeah, a different kind. I'm not.
I've seen so many watches.
Oh, sorry.
Anyway.
Now, this is a normal or nah.
I reckon it's a nah, but I think we should just respect where Leslie's at.
Okay.
Hi, Leslie.
Leslie asked normal or nah, buying popcorn on the way out of the cinema.
Like, you've already watched the movie,
but you want something to nibble on on the way home.
It's a nah from me, but that's a fucking genius idea.
I'm going to say nah but I don't think I've ever finished a popcorn
when I've gone to the movies.
Really?
Never.
I don't think I've had a popcorn survive the trailers.
Oh, no, I don't think I've ever finished.
So like if you wanted some on the way home,
like the third that's always left, surely that's
what you're taking home with you. Oh, I just crush
it. Oh, I've never finished it. And then I get really thirsty.
Yeah, I've never finished one. And then I drink
all of the Coke because I'm so thirsty and then that
drains you even more. But you need to
wait. No wonder you're so well hydrated. Yeah.
Because I've never finished
a box of popcorn. Well, that dries you out with the salt.
Then you drink all the Coke and then you're gone and then you're like
You can barely stay up for the rest of the movie. It's awful. No, that dries you out with the salt, then you drink all the coke, and then you're gone, and then you're like. Yeah.
You can barely stay up for the rest of the movie.
It's awful.
No, I don't think I've ever finished a box of popcorn,
so I would walk out with the last third.
But, I mean, you normally throw it out anyway, don't you?
Normal or nah?
Not finishing a box of popcorn in the cinema.
I don't think I've ever finished one.
What the fuck?
That's a.
Producer Cam is also shaking his head.
You don't think you've ever finished a box of popcorn? No, absolutely not.
There's always, because then the bottom popcorn
got mixed with the seeds and everything and the kernels
and it gets in your teeth and you get pissed off
by three quarters of the way through the movie.
Yeah, you do get pissed off.
Well, you would get pissed off.
What is going on?
Don't be mean to me.
Why are you doing this?
That is fucking, that is strange to me.
Oh, I don't, I don't, never, like in my whole life.
And I don't think that, I think, again, I think people will agree with me.
We'll see if we can find out.
Finally, I almost didn't put this one in today.
Oh.
Normal or Nah asks Emily,
tucking toilet paper between your ass cheeks to prevent swamp ass
and or chafing from occurring on a hot day or at the gym. Emily, yes, swamp ass is real.
And, like, yes, as a thick-thighed person, like,
chafing is also a real thing.
Toilet paper is just going to make it worse.
Surely way worse. Especially on the chafing is also a real thing, toilet paper is just going to make it worse. Surely way worse.
Especially on the chafing front.
Then otherwise your thighs aren't rubbing together anymore.
They're rubbing against toilet paper.
And then we're rubbing the balls?
Which is just going to ball up.
Yeah.
Pill.
Pill.
And then at the gym.
At the gym.
On a treadmill.
Do you know what does, I mean, scientifically seem like it would prevent swamp ass?
A G-string.
Prevent?
Because it's in the bum.
So then wouldn't that be like soaking up any excess that was like coming out of there?
But wouldn't you still just get sweaty between the cheeks on the other side of the, like
the outer side of the thong?
Because if that's like.
I'm about to say something real.
Like that.
Yeah.
And then the G-strings like through here, surely that would be catching any sweat that
would like come down.
So would you wear like a Lorna Jane G-string or something?
What?
Like a sport based G-string.
Think about it.
Maybe the answer to all of Emily's problems is just-
Wear a G string.
Just underwear in general.
Well, yeah.
Oh, well, I was working on the assumption that Emily was already wearing underwear.
Well, that's what I think.
But now that I think about it-
Something a bit closer.
If only there was something we could wear under our pants that just stops us.
That stops us.
They should come up with something.
Yeah, look into that.
Hey, it's Chris from Toronto and you're listening to Tony and Ryan.
A massive shout out to a few of our Champion Tapas over at our Patreon.
At our Patreon, there are lots of little goodies.
I do a weekly blog that comes out every Wednesday for Champion Tapas.
They get a live stream each month.
This week, you can see and watch Tony's audition.
In full.
Yeah.
Unedited.
Uncut.
Whew.
Yeah.
I get naked at the end as well.
Watch to the end.
Don't over-promise and under-deliver.
Tanisha Paisley.
Thank you so much.
Paisley.
I'm going to do that for everyone today.
Jordan Rosenfield.
Rosenfield.
Ella Fournier.
Fournier.
Alfie Wallace.
Fie Wallace.
Hey, where did the first name stop?
Alfie Wallace. Wallace. Wallace? Where did the first name stop? Alfie Wallace.
Wallace!
Valerie Gibbons.
Gibbons!
Liam.
Fucking hell, Liam.
Yeah.
What a nice name.
And Harey Tulia.
She's got a Harey Tulia, doesn't she?
Tulia?
Tulia!
Yeah.
Nice.
Sorry, my mistake.
Thank you so much, everyone, for being part of our Patreon.
You can check it out. All the information is in our show notes. Now you so much, everyone, for being part of our Patreon. You can check it out.
All the information is in our show notes.
Now, on Monday, we did.
It's going to be me.
Now, on Monday, we heard Tony Lodge's audition for the National Girls Youth Choir.
Yeah.
It was incredible.
I was so nervous.
Honestly, so nervous.
We could tell.
I mean, you can hear it in the audio,
but I mean I was nervous for people to hear it.
Like I was so nervous about that episode coming out.
I don't think I've ever felt that way.
But on Sunday night I'm like lying in bed like this.
And how do you think the feedback went?
People seemed to really like it, which was nice.
Unfortunately not the judge. I mean, they to really like it, which was nice. Unfortunately not the judge.
I mean, they did not like it.
They just said that you're almost 30.
Yeah, but I mean, that is a fact.
Yep.
It's not as if they were like, we actually, you're almost 30,
and I was like, I'm 21.
You know, like it wasn't as if they decided I was almost 30.
Yep.
Yep.
True.
You know?
Very true.
Like, so I can't fight science.
But you decided at the end, you were like, well, I don't need them. Yep. Yep. True. You know? Very true. Like, so I can't fight science. But you decided at the end, you were like, well,
I don't need them to achieve my dream of being in the iconic Qantas ad.
Start the fucking blog.
Start the fucking blog.
Yeah.
So you yelled out, well, I'll make my own Qantas ad.
Yes.
Again, for people not in Australia, middle of the desert,
the Great Ocean Road, 12 apostles.
Like, it's a beautiful ad that they travel far and wide.
Yeah.
Someone actually commented.
This is one of the great comments.
You guys are now points guys.
Do you reckon the kids in the ad just got heaps of points?
Do you reckon they did?
Well, they would have travelled around.
I said, have you got a frequent fly?
And they'd be like, well, I will in five minutes.
Sign me up, Doug.
Or do you reckon it was like, you know, back in the day,
how it was like you would, I don't think you can do this anymore
because it's like, you know, legal working, whatever.
But do you reckon that back in the day they said, look,
we're not going to pay you.
Yeah.
But, yeah, and it was either points or like, you know,
how every business has that rumoured black card or gold card or whatever?
Do you reckon that they got some like you fly for free within Australia
or something for their whole?
Surely.
Qantas are good for it.
You know what I mean?
You know, like it's not as if they couldn't afford to put like little Betty
from the ad on the flight to Darwin in fucking 20 years.
Yeah.
Surely. Well, black card. Well, even just the actual points from the travel they little Betty from the ad on the flight to Darwin in fucking 20 years? Yeah. Surely.
Well, black car.
Well, even just the actual points from the travel they did to film the ad would probably
have them set for life.
Or do you think that the kids only did like the kids in the ad were only from that area?
You know how my mum lied to me and said like, oh, girls from Perth can't do it.
Well, the overseas one, they had to be from somewhere in Australia.
That's true.
But you're right.
And I rewatched it again last night.
There's this one particular girl the director obviously loves
because she gets about three close-ups.
And she's like blonde and has blue eyes and she's like
quintessential Australian.
And they've obviously gone, her.
She's our girl.
If she's paid for a flight in the last 20 years, I'll be devastated.
Yeah.
Sorry, have you ever heard that rumour that like if you're born on a plane, you get that?
Because you know how you're not supposed to, like,
fly in your third trimester or whatever?
After 30 weeks, yeah.
So it's, like, not common that babies are birthed on a plane.
So if you're birthed on a plane, you get free flights for life.
Either that black card or gold card or whatever that thing is that you get,
yeah, the golden ticket maybe it's called.
No, it's not true.
Okay.
Let's.
That's not true?
Okay, so here's where I'm torn.
Okay.
Natalie and Brulia.
I want to contact Qantas and ask them about this.
Yep.
And I want to know about black cards and gold cards.
Golden ticket, whatever it's called.
If you're making this video, maybe they'll go,
oh, thanks for making a thing to promote our airline.
Here's a chop out.
Do you reckon?
However, there's another part of me that's like,
I want to steer clear of Qantas as much as I can because we're clearly
about to plagiarise their work.
I see what you're saying.
So I'm like, do we lean in or do we lean right out?
Okay.
Idea.
lean right out.
Okay.
Idea.
Lean out until it's done and then they can't say anything
and then we
lean in after
and go, don't know if you saw, like,
don't know if you caught this. By the way, we've travelled
Qantas exclusively for all of our
travel throughout this, which we
We will.
We only fly Qantas because we're points guys now.
We're points guys.
You're going to fly and not get points?
Yeah.
What a waste.
You might as well stay at home.
Catch a submarine.
Submarine.
Why fly if you're not getting points?
I'd rather swim.
I guess what we're getting at is when Tony said the other day,
I'll just film it myself, we're actually going to do it.
Yeah.
And we didn't maybe really consider what would be involved,
but it's quite a lot.
There's been this week a lot of admin logistics chat.
Yeah.
And here's the opportunity.
We're not asking a favour.
No.
We're giving you an opportunity.
And we're not paying you.
Just because we just discussed the points paying.
If we get a black card, I'll let you use it.
Oh, yeah.
That's a great empty hopper.
It's an easy bet because we ain't getting one.
But basically, Tony is going to be singing I Still Call Australia Home
on the Great Ocean Road in the middle of the Australian outback,
at the beach, in the forest, in the jungle, in the city,
in the outback, everywhere.
You said outback twice because that's how good it is?
Yeah, or once in the actual Outback and then the other time
at an Outback Steakhouse to get the Bloomin' Onions.
What's that?
Oh, it's like an Australian restaurant in the US.
Oh, I don't know about that.
It's like a hard rock cafe-esque.
Oh.
But every restaurant in America is sort of the same restaurant.
Right.
So you just rock off and it's just like, oh,
do you want the cheeseburger or the chicken burger or the steak?
But this one's like, oh, they don't come with onions,
they're Bloomin' Onions because it's an Australian restaurant.
Isn't Bloomin' Onion at Chili's?
And I only know that because I've watched The Office a lot of times.
Well, Chili's would be in that category of every restaurant.
Oh, sure.
Can we go to Chili's when we're in America because there's this, like,
episode of The Office where they just.
Sure.
Yeah, yes.
But for the final scene of I Still Call Australia Home.
Our version.
Our version.
Tony's version.
Tony's version.
Like, you know, Taylor Swift has Taylor's version of everything now.
Oh, well, actually, no, because it's Ryan's version
because I'm going to be the arsehole producer that claims
all the music credits.
No, you're the DOP.
You're the director of photography.
That's fine.
But I want to rip people off.
No.
Okay, that's a shame.
See, this is why you don't speak up until it's done.
Sorry.
Lean out, lean out.
But basically the final shot when Tony will sing,
I still call Australia home.
So in the ad, that's where there's like lots of them.
They're not just an individual singer.
It's like lots of the kids.
So we need you, the tarpa, to join us at the Sydney Opera House
with a white shirt.
Yes.
Can be from Target Country or anywhere else.
We would prefer if it was from Target Country.
Black pants.
So a white button-up.
Yep.
Black pants, some smart shoes, your hair back.
Yep.
Hair can be back.
Does the hair have to be back?
Okay, okay.
Your hair will be back.
But basically we're going to have this big,
the final shot of the whole thing is going to be this big,
juicy wide shot, and we need as many people in this shot
to make it look really big and epic.
So this is where you come in.
The 1st of April, next Saturday, not this Saturday, next Saturday,
the 1st of April, Saturday morning, 9am at the steps
of the Sydney Opera House.
And we've got to do it at 9am because hopefully we're going
to beat the foot traffic.
We kind of want to because we've got to make sure.
We've got to beat the tourists.
Yeah, we've got to make sure that we're the, because we can't just have
like Jenny and Steve taking their photos of them, you know,
like the classic tourists and they're trying to, like,
pinch the top of the thing or whatever.
No, we can't have that.
So we need to get in, we need to get in early, we need to do it,
and we need to get out of there before we get arrested.
So that's my next point.
Similar to the lean in, lean out chat, I can't stress enough how unofficial
and off the record this filming is.
Yes.
There is no permit.
Permits, no.
No.
Because I said, we'll need a permit.
And Ryan said, what?
And I went, oh, okay.
I said, I'm deliberately not hearing that comment.
Yes.
There is no affiliation.
No.
With the Opera House or Sydney.
Qantas or anyone.
I heard in marketing class it costs $2 million to film in the harbour
for an ad.
Well, this isn't an ad.
It's artistic expression.
Artistic.
But.
It's not an ad.
It's not an ad.
If you see Tony, you know, in the outback, in the jungle,
at the beach doing these beautiful songs, it needs this big finale.
Yes.
This big, beautiful final moment.
So if we can get like 10 extra tapas to be like in the background
with Tony as a choir singing I Still Call Australia Home,
it would be awesome.
If we got 20, it would be unbelievable.
Even better.
If, and it's a big fucking if because I know it's a Saturday
and everyone wants to sleep in and, hey,
people have got their own lives to live.
Yeah, we'd rather sleep in too.
But you don't have to do it.
But if like a hundred people turned up,
could you imagine Tony with a hundred other people singing
I Still Call Australia Home on the steps of the Sydney Opera House
overlooking the beautiful harbour, how magical and beautiful that would be.
You get to, we're not asking for a favour,
you get to be a part of this momentous occasion.
Yes.
And if, you know, security comes, we all scatter
and don't know each other.
And I fucking know any single one of you.
You know what I mean?
So fucking who the fuck are these guys?
Distribute.
Stop dressing like me, you weirdos.
Yeah.
It's fashion right now.
It's a button-up shirt from Target Country and black pants
and smart shoes with your hair back.
Yeah.
That's fashion baby
can i wear my denim jacket no no we're asking you to be a part of is a part of history too much i
don't think so it's history is just things that have happened i don't know if it'll be in the book
but it's gonna be still part of history who Who is the book? Like, who decides? We'll write our own fucking book.
I've written a book.
I'll write another one.
Put this in it.
That's two pages.
I'll have to think of something else for the other hundred.
Yeah, I was going to say it's a kid's book.
Obviously it's short.
As someone who's witnessed you write the book and say,
I'm never fucking doing this again, I've told every story I have to give.
Yeah, there's nothing else.
Don't make throwaway comments about writing books.
Yeah.
I bet you my editor, Tessa, is listening right now and she's like,
oh, okay, well.
I know.
Yeah, cool.
Get started.
I think that's basically her signing a contract saying that she'll do it.
If you want to be a part of history.
Yeah.
Fuck, that's empowering, I think.
The 1st of April, Saturday morning, 9am at the Sydney Opera House.
Now, here's what I'm thinking.
Yeah.
We get in at 9am and we just got to-
We should get in there earlier.
Yeah, we'll get in there early.
We're getting there earlier.
We're getting there earlier.
Right.
We're getting there earlier.
Excuse me.
I arrived at Perth on time.
You were late as well.
You got there about a minute before me and it was about five past five.
Someone said I was quite gracious in the comments.
We go in at nine, we film it.
Yeah.
And then we like disperse.
Yeah.
But what we'll do is we'll just be like around the corner
because obviously it's a big open space.
Yeah.
And then we can like hang out and say hi and if we want
to take a selfie and we'll shake everyone's hand,
give you a big hug, you can give us COVID again,
that'd be great.
Yeah.
Sign a book if you want.
Sign a book.
So we'll do all of that stuff and it'd be great to see
because I don't think we have, in New South Wales we haven't.
We haven't done a meet-up in Sydney yet, no.
So this is like the meet-up slash a part of history,
but also just still a meet-up.
Yes.
So afterwards, like I said, we'll grab a coffee and say hi to everyone
and it'll be sweet.
And I think it's a bit like one of those things where you go,
oh, I don't need to go.
So many people will go.
Come.
We need you.
Come.
Like the more the merrier and the better it will look.
And the more people that come, the more history it will make.
Wow.
Wow.
Sorry.
I've come back around.
That's incredible.
I think you're right, though.
It makes it more epic.
The bigger it is, it's like amazing.
And this video, like we want it to be fucking legit.
Yeah.
And when you hear about all the extra effort that I'm making elsewhere,
you'll be like, that was so worth it.
We're flying to Alice Springs.
Yeah.
We're actually going to the Australian Desert Outback.
I'm going to the Outback.
Have you ever been out there before?
No.
Neither.
No.
So I've been, like, up in the Kimberley, like, in WA.
So it's similar, but not the Outback Outback.
Yeah.
Like, this is legit Outback. Yeah. Yeah. Like this is legit Outback.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Are you going to wear it in a Cobra?
Yes.
Good.
Good.
Producer Cam, can you please write down buy Tony in a Cobra?
Yep.
Yep.
Thank you.
We've got a list of things today actually.
Yeah, we do.
That's the most fun one.
But yeah, 1st of April, Saturday morning, 9am.
We'll make the details in the Facebook group.
So we'll film the thing but then you'll have an opportunity
to hang out with us.
We'll hang out.
We'll hang out.
And if anyone asks, we don't know fucking nothing.
Oh, no.
No.
Never met you before in my life.
Permit for what?
Walking?
Permit for being, enjoying the scenery.
I'll work on my excuse.
Please, yeah, please.
I'll work on my excuse.
All right, let's do You Love to See.
I'll actually let you go first, Tony, because I know what yours is.
Do you?
Well, I know what it should be.
Oh.
Well, now I'm stressed because I don't...
Okay.
What?
Are you serious?
What?
Go on, Do You Love To See.
My Love To See is that Tegan in our Facebook group. No, no Tegan. No, okay. Are you serious? What? Go on, do you love to see it? My love to see it is that Tegan in our Facebook group.
No, no Tegan.
No, okay.
Are you serious?
Is it that we're making the ad?
Because normally if I do, are you love to see it based on the story?
I guess me and my new haircut will go fuck themselves.
No, no, you tell me about Tegan.
Well, I was going to do that tomorrow in the video show when everyone can see it. tell me about Tegan. Well, I was going to do that tomorrow in the video show
when everyone can see it.
Tell me about Tegan.
I was going to do it tomorrow in the video show
so everyone can see it and enjoy it.
See, when I say I was going to do it tomorrow, I'm lying.
So I assume that's what you're doing now.
I already said I liked your haircut outside.
Yeah, but no one else can hear that.
Producer Cam heard it.
He did, actually.
And he actually said nice salad,
which is apparently a thing that you say about hair now.
I can't keep up.
I can't keep up.
That's a bridge too far.
Yeah, Sydney Harbour Bridge too far.
See you there.
What's Tegan up to there?
All right.
How would you describe Tegan's hair?
Tegan's got great salad.
Okay.
No, but it's dog related, so I think you'll like it.
So Tegan Kate in our Facebook group said,
Our Goldie, Kevin, is happy that he's not the only one that is wet for life.
Thank you, Tony Lodge, for bringing awareness to this important cause.
After a walk, run, or play at the beach,
Kevin always comes home and jumps straight in his pool.
And I have about 400 photos on my phone of him being wet for life.
Here's a picture of Kevin.
Oh, Kev.
Cooling off after a big day of playing.
Did Pippa like her outdoor pool?
No.
Okay.
Because Kev looks like he's having a great time.
Kev loves his pool.
Pippa didn't love her pool.
But I think that we'll try again.
Yeah, okay.
You know, I think it needs to be like a slow introduction.
She stood in the pool like a statue.
Like, so we asked her to, like, jump in.
She didn't want to jump in.
So we, like, put her in to kind of show her that it would cool her off.
Yeah.
And she just stood there like a statue.
Like, she did not move.
She was terrified.
And then she, like, we pulled her out and then she was fine.
Okay.
Yeah.
And then when we put our feet in the pool because it was a really hot day,
she didn't like that either.
She's a bit like, well, it's my present.
Don't tell me how to use it.
Yeah.
Which is fair.
It's not yours to use.
Yeah.
And then also Kevin said that he loves your hair.
Oh, thanks, Kev.
Yeah. So thanks, Kev, for that your hair. Oh, thanks, Kev. Yeah.
So thanks, Kev, for that.
I knew Kev was a nice guy.
Tegan, take it or leave it, but Kev, what a legend.
Now, my love to see it, and I think you like this person as well,
but I've...
Is it about your hair?
Nah.
Because I love that.
I've heard.
Yeah.
From Kev.
Yeah.
I'm back into Macklemore.
Oh, I love Macklemore.
How great.
Never stopped loving him.
Yeah, great.
Ever in my life.
Great.
Yep.
So, but I think like everyone else, I was like, well, what's Macklemore been doing?
Yeah.
Because you've brought this to the attention of the world and the internet before.
Thank you.
And I have an answer.
He's got a new album out.
He's touring with Tones and I through Europe,
which is like a shit combo.
But anyway, his new song is called No Bad Days
and it's been directed by his daughter.
And this is like Macklemore's like the broad,
you love to see it, but the actual specific,
you love to see it, is this cutest fuck video clip. Now, I'm going to play it from my laptop, so I don't know how good this is like Macklemore's like the broad, you love to see it, but the actual specific, you love to see it. Okay.
Is this cutest fuck video clip.
Now I'm going to play it from my laptop,
so I don't know how good this is going to sound,
but here's just like, his daughter's like can't be 10 years old.
Yeah, no.
So let's have a listen.
Hi, I'm Zoe Hangerty and I'm directing the No Bad Days of Instinct video
with Macklemore.
He also has a big bad dad.
No bad days, yeah.
So then the whole video is kind of like...
From her perspective?
Well, it's half like kind of a behind the scenes of her
just making the video.
And the other half is like the funny stuff she's done.
So she's obviously gone, I don't know,
I think like a unicorn flying through space.
So Macklemore's like, okay.
And then they go to a green screen and it looks really funny.
And so it's basically like whatever she wants,
that's what the video is.
Oh, my God.
That is so fun.
It is so fun.
And he's actually commented here.
He's like, thanks for showing love to this incredible video.
You know, you can imagine the record company being like,
no, bro, like this is a big deal.
It has to be slick.
It has to be perfect.
And he's like, well, my daughter's going to make it,
so you listen to her, please.
And he's like, I love that you guys are getting around this.
It's so great.
And as someone who, I don't want to make every fucking second story
about the fact that I'm about to have a kid,
but the fact that him and his daughter are legit just having a great time,
making stuff, hanging out, I was like, this is the cutest fucking thing ever.
How adorable.
How adorable.
And I've also been listening to Macklemore,
and I think I'm going to become a rapper.
Yep, fair enough. Yeah, because doesn't I think I'm going to become a rapper. Yep.
Fair enough.
Yeah, because doesn't he just get you going?
Yes.
Yes.
I love...
The pump up's such a good pump up tune.
You actually don't need to fucking tell me about it because I know.
Stop selling when you already made the sale.
Yep.
Is that the sale?
What's the saying?
Once you made the sale, stop selling.
Yeah.
Stop selling.
But it's my artistic.
I move things around.
Yeah, because you're a rapper now.
Yeah, that's what I do.
Yeah, love that. I rhyme. But it's my artistic. I move things around. Yeah, because you're a rapper now. Yeah, that's what I do. Yeah, love that.
I rhyme.
It ain't a crime.
Okay, I might just put a pause.
Maybe it is a crime.
Yeah, that sounded criminal.
But my love to see it is Macklemore and his daughter
who made that video.
And I'll put it in the episode thread in Facebook
because it's fun because you get to watch them hanging out.
Yeah, and also great on her resume.
Great on her resume.
Like one day, you know, she's like, oh, what should I do?
And she's already got a director's credit.
Director's credit.
That's huge.
Yeah.
I hope she got paid.
She got the gold card.
Free Macklemore album for life.
All right.
Tomorrow is the video show.
Yes.
So not only will you have a great show,
but you'll be able to witness some great hair.
And I guess, hang on, what is on the show tomorrow?
I need for you to think about a time when you've tried to break the ice.
Is this like an expertise of this podcast in general?
I think so.
When is there an awkward situation where we need to break the ice
with a joke and obviously it was not the right time?
And how was Tony Lodge involved?
Yeah.
So what is this point?
You know how you like 2.0?
Oh, yeah, this is like 65.5 million.
Yeah.
Great, great.
All right, that's tomorrow on the show.
We'll chat to you then.
Love you, bye.