Toni and Ryan - BIG TEA

Episode Date: July 24, 2023

Confessions, tea, and a textbook. If you've got a SPICY confession you need to get off your chest, we wanna hear about it HERE! LOVE YOU BITCHCheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and mak...e sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. This is Dr. Author Tony Lodge. My name is Ryan, Vice Captain of the ship. Don't you forget it. And we are, Tony's the captain, and the muscles and caries of the show. But right now we're calling Ashley, who's in Ottawa in Canada. Ooh, Canada-y. I think they do like that. I like it. I'm going to do it. Hello? Ashley!
Starting point is 00:00:23 Hello! It's Tony and Ryan. How you doing? Sorry, who is this? Ashley. Hello. It's Tony and Ryan. How are you doing? Sorry, who is this? What the fuck? It's Tony and Ryan. Oh, my God. Holy shit.
Starting point is 00:00:37 Ashley, will you approve the podcast? Of course I would. Legend. I'm Ashley from Ottawa, and I approve this podcast. Now, heaven forbid we start our glorious, hilarious podcast with a brouhaha. A brouhaha. That's actually quite funny. Yeah, it is.
Starting point is 00:01:11 Toni, you're not feeling, you sound a little bit like. I think that the marathon and a few other big things that were happening in life. The auction. Have all kind of rolled up and ganged up on me at once. Yeah. So I said, can I get you a coffee? And you go, no, I'll just have a green tea. But you know when you're feeling like a little bit, heaven forbid,
Starting point is 00:01:35 once again I use the word phlegmy, but you know when you're feeling a bit. Yeah, nah. Yeah, I didn't want the milk. I thought that was a good call. I get it. And then we didn't have green tea in the office. And then I said, do you want me to get you one from the cafe? And we both, would you say grimaced?
Starting point is 00:01:54 Because how the fuck do they get away with charging money? Where do they get off? That's what I want to know. When you have a green tea in the cafe, and I do respect this, you know how sometimes they'll bring you, and Cam, you've worked in a hospital, sometimes they bring you a full board, like a wooden board. Oh, it's got all the stuff on it. And then maybe even a slice of lemon and the pot and the thing,
Starting point is 00:02:18 and then you can add more water to the pot and you can kind of work your own strength and then a little cute cup and you go, you know what, this is worth $4. Oh, that's worth $7 easily, I reckon, a pot of tea. Because you pay for the experience. Yeah, so how's the experience of them putting it in a takeaway cup and me carrying it back to the studio? Well, so it's green tea.
Starting point is 00:02:40 They've written that on the side, which is lovely. And this isn't this cafe. It's all cafes. They've written that on the side, which is lovely. And this isn't this cafe. It's all cafes. I have a question because my plan was, my evil plan was that, you know, maybe I could, like, reuse this teabag through the morning.
Starting point is 00:02:54 Yeah. There isn't a teabag in there. What's in there? It's just the liquid. You don't even get a teabag. I actually literally brought in a spare cup because I was like, I'll use that. This is full of water. I was like, I'll put the teabag.
Starting point is 00:03:10 I'm not even joking. There's water in here. So you're like, I'll use some of this hot water and I'll flick the bag over. I'll pop the bag over and make myself a second drink, have that steepen over the next 20 minutes. But maybe what I'll do. Is go spend another $4. Is tip half of this in here because it's a bit too hot.
Starting point is 00:03:29 Yeah. Pop that in there so then it's not as hot. I'll add my own honey because we couldn't afford to ask for that. Oh, you wouldn't dare. No. Is honey and green tea a bit of a sin? Oh, is it? Nah.
Starting point is 00:03:43 I think when you, I normally do like honey lemon and green tea yeah okay yeah that's okay i think because i think with green tea sometimes like the the bit of bitterness is the uh but it's not to sweeten and it's more for the health benefits of course you know honey never i can't get this open pass it here man i'm just looking at you trying to do sorry fucking doing my head in first the four dollar tea and now this. Now I can't get it. Oh, that's embarrassing. Isn't it just the best thing ever, though, when you can't get something open and someone goes,
Starting point is 00:04:12 oh, sweetheart, give it here. Oh, you've done it. Well, thanks. Also, how long have we... Let me squeeze my honey in here. It's been a year since we moved into this studio. Yeah. And we get a coffee most mornings. Can you just look at the name that's written on your green tea
Starting point is 00:04:28 oh my god it says brian are they having a fucking laugh i love the podcast torian brian it's my it's my favorite podcast oh they are so lovely down there are they i i must say they are they would be lovely if they'd take $4 for a takeaway. That is not isolated to that cafe. And a misspelt. The misspelling's not great, I guess. We've been going there every day for a year. Hey, let's do a podcast.
Starting point is 00:04:58 Coming up today. Oh, sorry. Coming up today, guys, it's Finance Chat. Finance Chat with the $4 tea. guys, it's finance chat. Finance chat with the foot on the tee. Inflation's gone mad. I've brought my MBA textbook, and it is Fundamentals of Corporate Finance. It is 950 pages long. And, guys, I've got some hot financial advice.
Starting point is 00:05:19 You're not going to make me read that, are you, like, for a gag or something? I would have to do a 50-hour live stream of Tony reading a finance textbook. No, I've actually got some rich, famous people giving financial advice, which is making me reconsider why am I doing an MBA when we could just get this excellent financial advice from rich people. Oh, perfect. Yeah. I mean.
Starting point is 00:05:38 Save the money, save the time. Take the tips from the people that have got it, I guess. Yep, absolutely. But first, let's do some confessions. These are tough confessions. This one's called Burglars and Bustin' Nuts. Now, I have to ask, is this another case of, oh, the headline's given away the punchline?
Starting point is 00:06:02 Well, has it given anything away? Well, I don't know yet, but. Here's a confession from someone who listens to this podcast. I was robbed last week. Oh, my God. And the police had to come to my house and, like, fully dust for fingerprints. I've never seen that before. That is so traumatic.
Starting point is 00:06:21 Yeah. Have you ever had a house, like, broken into? I've had my car window smashed and stuff taken out of it. I don't think of the house though, no. I've had the car, but when I was a kid, our house got broken into. Did they have the dust for fingerprints? Yeah, and it was like we were all, like mum and dad were home, me, both my sisters and my brother.
Starting point is 00:06:42 It was like New Year's Eve. Hang on, so they broke in when you were in the house? Yeah, like my family home. sisters and my brother. It was like New Year's Eve. Hang on. So they broke in when you were in the house? Yeah, like my family home. Oh, my God. Yeah, I would have been like five or six or something like that. I was little. Did they just run away or did they come and get stuff?
Starting point is 00:06:57 Oh, yeah, everything, everything that we had. And what, you just sat there in the corner and like, don't hurt us, take it easy. Oh, no, we were asleep. Oh, fuck. Sorry, it wasn't like a hostage situation. Well, that's when corner and like, don't hurt us. Oh, no, we were asleep. Oh, fuck. Sorry, it wasn't like a hostage situation. Well, that's when you're like, we were all home. I was like, fucking hell.
Starting point is 00:07:11 Sorry, that is fair. No, no, no. So we were all asleep. Hang on, this is the robber's thoughts. They're obviously going to be out partying for New Year's Eve, so the house will be empty. Little did they know that Tony and her family were all tucked into bed at 9.30. Okay, I was five. any excuse to stay home any excuse to stay home i probably begged mom to let
Starting point is 00:07:32 me stay up and she was like no you're going to sleep um but yeah so it had only just been christmas so we had like heaps of new like stuff um And my mum and dad owned a business like my whole life pretty much. And then so they had like laptops and checkbooks. And back in the day it must have been what, like 19, if I was five. What's that? 98. Yeah, like 1997 or 1998 or something. Just saying 19 sounds like a gag.
Starting point is 00:08:03 Yeah, it does. No, but it's not. And so laptops, like what a- A new fun fandangle thing. Yeah. Anyway, and they, yeah, it was really awful. Like we woke up in the morning and my dad was like, Liz, do you know where my car keys are? And mum was like, oh, don't be silly.
Starting point is 00:08:19 Like they'll be in my handbag. And she went to grab her handbag. It wasn't there. Dad's keys weren't there. His wallet wasn't there. And then we were like, hang on. We better check on the TV. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:08:27 Yeah, and everything was gone. Yeah. And did they dust for prints? I believe they did. I don't remember it, though. I'm going to say no to make this story sound cooler. But no, not that I remember, but they probably would have come over. I mean, it's 1998.
Starting point is 00:08:44 You know, like they didn't have that technology. They were busy preparing for Y2K. Yeah, and it was only two years away by that point. Exactly. Exactly two years away. Yeah, so that's good. Anyway. Most surfaces can't hold prints.
Starting point is 00:09:02 However, like if it's wood because it's like rough and if it's tile because it could be. Oh, so it would only be like glass or. Yes. Oh, sorry. But the glass is what they smash. Wow. They've got that dental fine art, don't they? Most surfaces can't hold prints.
Starting point is 00:09:18 However, it turns out the robber touched my glass dildo when ransacking my drawers. Ransack something else. Turns out glass is the best surface for fingerprints. I had to stand there whilst the forensic guy put his gloves on and picked up my dildo and dusted it for prints, mortifying in capital letters. So she's just standing there. She's just standing there.
Starting point is 00:09:50 That is the best confession we've ever had. However, it worked. And that's how they ended up catching and charging the guy. They caught them. Sucked into the robber. What a loser. However, I'm also a loser because I've lost my dildo as it's now been submitted into evidence their sex toys are expensive that's not ideal and now i have to
Starting point is 00:10:11 use tinder to get my jollies off like a fucking loser fuck that's so interesting yeah crazy that's a great story. So if he pleads not guilty, do they go to court and like, I'd like to present exhibit 4.4723? The dildo. This 12-inch glass number with quite a girthy tip. And you know when you bought that luggage, Ryan? I was like, what are you talking about? And you fell for the free personalisation.
Starting point is 00:10:47 Imagine if our confessor also fell for the free personalisation and at the end of the glass dildo it's got their initials or something. Chloe 24. They hold it up. Mr. Chloe. All right, here's another confession. They also had a name that gave away the story. Sorry.
Starting point is 00:11:08 Is there something wrong with your tea? No, it's lovely, Brian. Thank you. Four years ago, our cute little cavalier King Charles named Toby went missing. Oh, no. If a dog went missing, you would just be beside yourself, wouldn't you? Because you would just be beside yourself wouldn't you because you would just be like are they still like it's the unknown days went by and we still couldn't find him we were searching the streets we were calling out his name until i was driving near the park and i see a very
Starting point is 00:11:38 familiar dog crossing the street by itself yeah days and days later toby i yelled out and he came running right after me jumped into the car it was kisses and cuddles our boy was back oh my god that's like a bit like those soldiers coming home videos it really is it really is as soon as my kids saw toby in the car they were crying tears of pure joy and for the next eight months we it's just like once you've oh it was back to normal but no but more love because you felt the the loss you know and every time you thought oh we almost lost this guy come in for another cuddle toby you know they were just um so for eight months probably like hadn't eaten for however long he wasn't home for and stuff so for eight months we shout him with love and we were so happy
Starting point is 00:12:25 until one day while Toby was laying on his back getting his belly rubbed and having a good time, my husband quietly calls me over and says, when did Toby become a Tobyetta? I looked down to find out that our precious boy was someone else's female dog. I'd stolen someone else's bitch off the street. For eight months, there was no microchipped, and we spent months searching for Tobietta's real owners, and we couldn't find them.
Starting point is 00:12:59 So we just officially adopted Tobietta and continued to call him Toby, and our kids are still none the wiser that their boy puppy no longer has a penis. I just don't understand. It's a very sex positive episode, isn't it? I, oh, what do you do? Like, I mean, if they said they couldn't find the original owners, I mean, there's nothing you can do if the dog wasn't microchipped.
Starting point is 00:13:26 Is it shame on the kids for being fuckheads? I think that when you're a kid, though, you just don't question – like, if your parents don't question something, you don't. Yeah, but they did in private. Privately. Yeah, so you know how we used to have a dick. But, you know, like if the kids – But where's Toby?
Starting point is 00:13:43 If the kids had been in the park and they saw the dog and they were, oh, my God, that's our dog. And the mum went, no, no, no, that's a little girl doggy. They would have gone, oh, no. But, like, the mum brought the dog home and was like, the dog's home now. Oh, my God. Do we have any issues with the confessor and the confessor's partner taking eight months to figure this out?
Starting point is 00:14:07 We have to wipe Pippa's fanny every day. There would be no way that we could, like, get her mixed up. Yeah, but I'd say you're not a good target market. No, no, totally. So that's what I mean. It would only take once. That wouldn't happen. So, Tobs, you know how we wipe her fanny and I was just, like,
Starting point is 00:14:25 wiping her dick before? What's up with that? Yeah. Should we call someone? Yeah. Who would you call? Do you still have to do that? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:33 Yep. Fuck. Yep. Brutal. Because she's got her vulvas quite closed over. I actually. Oh, okay. Just a yeah, we do.
Starting point is 00:14:43 Yeah, we do. Yeah. But, like, yeah, if your parents don't question something, you don't question it. So I think that, yeah. Actually. Oh, okay. Just a yeah, we do. Yeah, we do. Yeah. But like, yeah, if your parents don't question something, you don't question it. So I think that like. But what about the parents taking the eight months? Sure you'd notice when it cocked a leg or it'd be different or whatever. I, yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:56 Sorry to use the word cock in front of Tobyetta. Please don't bring that up. I, yeah. How did they not notice that? I know this isn't who's the fuckhead and all our segments are becoming the same segments, but fuckheads. But I mean, if your dog was like a run of the mill, easygoing dog and you didn't need to know. Yeah, who gives a fuck. Like maybe you would just never realize and it would just be, you just wouldn't think about it.
Starting point is 00:15:23 So it seems like toby etta has fucking struck gold though yeah some loving parents some new brothers and sisters her parents are yeah and and still like toby where's toby i think toby's dead sorry sorry i mean we're all thinking it. Yeah, I think Toby's dead. But just Cam and I decided not to say it, though. No, I think Toby's dead. R-I-P. R-I-P-ness.
Starting point is 00:15:55 Ave Maria. Send your confessions to tonyandryan.com.au. And we'll send our condolences right back. RIP, Toby. RIP-ness. Hi, it's Ashley from Ottawa, and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive shout out to a few of our champion tapions from the Patreon. Ella Eason.
Starting point is 00:16:35 Thank you so much. What about Ella E. Daughter? Alex Brown. Thank you. I appreciate that. Alex Brown. Daniel Williams. Love that.
Starting point is 00:16:44 Steph Carr. Oh, Steph Bike. Eve Kane-McCallis. Eve Kane-McCallis and Kate, thank you so much for being part of our Patreon. We absolutely love to see you. I don't know if this is possible because you're the funniest person I know. But you being a little bit sick made you even funnier. I mean, do you know what's funny? When my sister was pregnant she was
Starting point is 00:17:06 hilarious and your wife bridget was the same notoriously not fun or funny my wife but she was fucking in form when she was pregnant she was really funny let's put this online is that a thing i would love to know if women around the world have experienced that during pregnancy they were hilarious. Yep. Because I think it's a real thing. Yep. And what a bonus. Absolutely.
Starting point is 00:17:31 Maybe I should have kids. Yeah, but then you have to deal with a kid. Yeah, or I could gift it to a family. I just once gifted. Yeah. And what a great gift. Hashtag gifted. What a great gift.
Starting point is 00:17:44 No, you don't have to post about it. Just a gift. Yeah. And what a great gift. Hashtag gifted. What a great gift. No, you don't have to post about it. Just a gift. Yeah. That's funny. Am I pregnant? Oh, my God. Is it yours? Random fun fact.
Starting point is 00:17:59 In the last two months. Because we love facts on this show. Three people have listened to our podcast in Madagascar. Three? Yeah. I love that movie. Yeah, how good is it? But I want to know, are these Madagascarians or are they
Starting point is 00:18:16 people travelling to Madagascar and listen? Oh, I happen to be listening. But there was three in Madagascar. Let us know. Let us know if that was you. Let us know on the pregnancy. Let us know. I up the duff and I in Madagascar. Let us know. Let us know if that was you. Let us know on the pregnancy. Let us know. I up the Duff and I in Madagascar. Madag-
Starting point is 00:18:29 No, I can't combine Duff and Gasca. Anyway, let's push on. Madafgasca? Seems like you've lost that pregnancy. Up the Madafgasca? Yeah, we'll work it. Yeah, I got pregnant. Yeah, he put it up me Madafgasca.
Starting point is 00:18:46 There it is. I think I'm pregnant. Yeah, he put it up me Madhav Gashkar. There it is. I think I'm pregnant. Yeah, I think you are too. Guys, top three pieces of groundbreaking financial advice from rich people. Okay. And rich people would know because they're fucking rich. Do you know how people say, oh, rich people, like, oh, rich people, like, you don't get rich by spending it or whatever.
Starting point is 00:19:07 Yeah. But then how do they get stuff? Now rich people always have a lot of stuff. Do they? Well, it seems like it. But you know how there's like the mega rich who just like wear the same shit t-shirt every day. Oh, I don't even mean fancy clothes.
Starting point is 00:19:20 I just mean like houses, et cetera. Like, you know how they've just got always lots of like. Yeah, because they have done things to justify it like this. You ready? Okay. That's not stuff. That's acquiring assets. Ooh.
Starting point is 00:19:32 They buy stuff that makes more money. Oh, yeah. Nothing I have makes more money. No. At all. No. You have a nice dog, but she costs you a fortune and requires vagina wipes and puffer jackets. Yeah, but I mean.
Starting point is 00:19:46 Is that the name of an album? So cute. Yeah. Is that the name of an album? Vagina wipes and puffer jackets. It sounds very like Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds, doesn't it? Or like a Fall Out Boy song. Now the titles are like 80 words long, got nothing to do with what the song's about.
Starting point is 00:20:06 Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds. Fuck, it's been a while since I thought of that guy. The governor of the Australia Reserve Bank was sacked. Did you see this? Because he's been accused of being out of touch with the cost of living crisis. His recommendation to millions of Australians was to get more jobs. This is a guy who earns millions of dollars to do fuck all. Yeah, right.
Starting point is 00:20:29 And everyone's like. I think it's interesting that that person could be sacked for not understanding what the average person's going through, though. You would think that everybody that was decision making at the Reserve Bank would be so out of touch that it would seem relatable to them. Yeah. You know what I mean? He's like, I'm on five boards and get paid a million dollars
Starting point is 00:20:48 to turn up to a meeting once a month. Maybe I'll just do two more of those. Yeah. Why is everyone else not doing that? Yeah, totally. So I would like to introduce you to an influencer. Do you remember when this influencer solved homelessness? This did the rounds a few years ago.
Starting point is 00:21:05 Let me play the audio for you. Basically, in her world, because there's a homeless problem in the UK. I mean, everywhere. Yeah. So this is her advice to homeless people. If you're homeless, just buy a house. That's good advice. If you're homeless, just buy a house. That's good advice.
Starting point is 00:21:30 Really good advice. Not even rent? Like, buy one. Well, that's what my dad did. Yeah. So why don't you do it? Fuckhead. Fuck, that is... That's actually good stuff.
Starting point is 00:21:46 It's a fucking bold statement, Amy. People say shit like that. Get more jobs, buy a house. Great. And number one, do you remember when Paris Hilton gave free financial advice on her clothing? No. Are you serious? Let me send you.
Starting point is 00:22:00 You know that I'm not good at pop culture. Unless it's Kardashians based. I mean, there was a former employer. Oh, stop being poor. Yes, I do remember that. Again, very good advice. So as you know, I'm currently doing an MBA. Cost of fortune.
Starting point is 00:22:22 Is this what you're referencing? In your reference in the back of the- Well, currently, and I'm holding up, for those playing along at home, 900 pages. Can I have a look at that? Well, I'll show you my favorite page in a second, but it's called Fundamentals of Corporate Finance. Can I just hold it? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:39 Oh, fuck. Oh, no. That would turn me right off. And I was like, well, if get more jobs, just buy homes and stop being poor, what else is there to know? Oh, what else is in this book? What's in the rest of the 900 pages if that information's already been covered? Yeah, and you could just look at that on threads.
Starting point is 00:22:57 Yeah, well, I've actually opened it up and it's. Oh, that advice is in there. It's in the book. Oh, thank God. It's in the book. Oh, thank God. It's in the book. I mean, why would you not put a tip like that in the finance textbook? Why is it not on the front cover? Why is it not on the front cover?
Starting point is 00:23:13 But seriously, is that not the grossest thing? This is the weight. I'm going to drop it on the desk. It's like a phone book. Yep. Have you seen a phone book recently? No. They're tiny now.
Starting point is 00:23:28 Are they? Well, who's spending money to put their name in it? Well, yeah. It's like a magazine. You remember back in the day? Oh, but do you remember magazines used to have actual fucking... Magazines have got small. They're like newspapers and don't get me started on newspapers.
Starting point is 00:23:41 Newspapers also very narrow now. Thin. Very thin. Why are phone books and stuff even still a thing? I am shocked and appalled that they are. Like, oh, I guess maybe for the elderly community that don't, like, aren't going to adapt to online. But I feel like it's not very fair on, like,
Starting point is 00:24:03 the resources being dwindling. You know what I mean? What? So it's like, oh, some people don't have access to a computer or whatever. So it's like, oh, okay, well, we'll just give them this really tiny shit thing. That they can't read. Yeah. Like, oh, so it's like.
Starting point is 00:24:20 Oh, my eyesight's gone. I need an optometrist. Where will I find? Yeah, literally. Why don't you look at this thing with fonts size two that you can't read? Like, and it's got one option in there anyway. Like, because there's probably no one's paying to be in there. Is that what the case would be when you would use it?
Starting point is 00:24:37 You're like, oh, shit, we need a plumber. And you just look up P in the thing. Yep. Fuck. And like all the plumbers would be in there and whatever. Like, and we used to always get them delivered to the house and it would be like you'd get the white pages, which was residential. Do you remember that?
Starting point is 00:24:52 Oh, yeah. And it would be like A to L and then M to Z. It would be like two things. And then you'd get the yellow pages as well, which would be the same. Yeah. And they'd always be like in the cupboard in the kitchen and they'd always be there.
Starting point is 00:25:04 And then the next year would come around, you'd throw those ones out, you'd put the new ones in the cupboard. Oh, let's put these in here to never look at them again. Yeah. Except for when you're stalking people you went to school with. And you look at your friends and you go, oh, what's her dad's name? Yes. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:19 Or you'd look up a hot boy and you'd go, oh, okay, well I know that their last name's Dunn. Yeah. And so, yeah, M Dunn, that's probably his mum. So I'll be able to find it. Put that there. All right. There's only 17 of them.
Starting point is 00:25:30 So if I just start dialing down the list. You'd call their home phone and hope that their mum didn't answer. Then you wouldn't have to go, is Ryan there? I know there's 17 M Dunns in Alpha. Is this the one with Ryan? Is this the one with the Ryan? Is this the one with the hot sun? Because I saw him at volleyball and, boy, does he know how to strap a wrist.
Starting point is 00:25:50 I'm really interested. I was very happy to participate in this line of comedy until now. I've got to love to see it. It's from Tapa Hallen-Miller, who sent through a photo of her daughter with the Tony haircut. Did you see this? I did see this. Now, her daughter has cut herself a fringe
Starting point is 00:26:06 and she's done like a side-by-side photo. And what I love about this the most is that even though there's a bunch of different photos online of Tony with the new haircut, she has fucking done you dirty with the side-by-side. The one that she picked is not okay. She's picked the shittest photo of Tony I've ever seen. It's hour 51 of the marathon.
Starting point is 00:26:28 I'm holding a double quarter pounder. And frowning and looking so upset. She's done you so too. Have you seen this? No, yeah. Oh, Tony will love this. I'll do a side by side. And did you see all the comments that were like, I genuinely thought this was Tony as love this. I'll do a side post. And did you see all the comments that were like,
Starting point is 00:26:45 I genuinely thought this was Tony as a child. But for comedic proof. No, that's unfair on the child. But for comedic proof, here is a picture of me as a kid with the same haircut. It's the same photo. It's the same photo. As if that's not the kid that's in the post-hub. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:27:06 And what's that stance? Isn't it so 90s? Look at the home computer behind me, the speakers. That's a real moment in time. Isn't it? Nice sports shorts, bro. Surf's up. Yeah, it was the day before the house got broken into, probably.
Starting point is 00:27:22 That does look the same. Yeah, it does. Genuinely. So, Taffa Helen Miller, thank you so much for making my day. I'm actually crying. It's so funny. Just the photo. I know.
Starting point is 00:27:33 It is not the best. You laughed and smiled for 50 hours straight and she goes, no, I won't use any of those screen grabs. I'll get this one where she's frowning and looks like she wants to fucking jump off a cliff. Daughter though, beautiful. Yeah, beautiful daughter. Beautiful daughter.
Starting point is 00:27:50 Speaking of the livestream. How does it feel to be the Rachel of the decade? Because you know how everyone in the 90s went and got the Rachel from Friends, and now people are getting the Tony in the 2020s. I appreciate that. The roaring 2020s. Except I'm not that – because somebody else posted on that thread that their daughter, like they'd walked in on their daughter giving themselves a haircut and they had to fix it up.
Starting point is 00:28:11 So I don't love that the Tony is a result of like kids cutting their own fucking hair. Nah, go for it kids. Or like getting slime in their hair and then their parents having to like give it. Yeah, absolutely. But I mean, I'll take it. Yeah, great. If I'm going to be a movement, I'll take it. You are a movement.
Starting point is 00:28:26 Thank you. I appreciate that. Again, on the live stream, Lucy Gordon posted this and said, I was watching the 50-hour live stream with my daughters, and my eldest, Piper, comes out and goes, Mummy, what are you watching? And she said, Oh, it's just Mummy's show. And then she said, her daughter, Piper, said,
Starting point is 00:28:46 Are they your friends? And without even thinking, Lucy said, yeah, they are. Because a few days earlier, Piper said, ha ha mum, I've got more I've got more friends than you. Sounds like Piper's daughter's a bitch. And Lucy goes, Piper's the bitch.
Starting point is 00:29:04 And Lucy goes, no, Piper's the bitch. And Lucy goes... No, Piper's the daughter. So the mom is Lucy. And Lucy said... Yeah, they are my friends and I wanted to show off and I wanted my daughter to think my friends were cool because they were big and on the TV. Well, Piper sucked in.
Starting point is 00:29:24 How many friends have you got on the TV, Piper? Yeah, go back to your playground and suck on that one. So Piper's gone, Mom, don't you have any friends? And when she was watching our live stream, she went, yeah, they're my friends. She's being bullied by her daughter. Lucy, if you need assistance, please blink twice. You're being bullied in your own home. No, that is tough.
Starting point is 00:29:44 That is tough. Thanks so much for listening. Tomorrow on the bullied in your own home. No, that is tough. That is tough. Thanks so much for listening. Tomorrow on the show, Australian food names. Australians have been called out for some of the things we call things. Oh, we're always getting called out for something. But it's the rest of the world that's fucked. Oh, and I agree. And you've always said that.
Starting point is 00:29:58 I've always said that. So that's tomorrow on the show. See you then. Love you. Bye. tomorrow on the show. See you then. Love you, bye.

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