Toni and Ryan - BONUS: ALISON ROMAN SURPRISE!
Episode Date: May 4, 2023HI IT'S TONI AND I CAN'T BREATHE BECAUSE TODAY IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE AND ALISON ROMAN IS HERE HEHE LOVE YOU!!!!Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Faceboo...k Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Welcome to a sneaky bonus episode of the Tony and Ryan podcast. Now,
I may have implied to Tony that the baby's been born and she's about to meet the baby,
but actually her hero, Alison Roman, from New York is in our studio in Melbourne. Tony doesn't
know it yet. So just to give you the heads up, that's what's about to play out. Tony's coming
in in a blindfold. Alison's about to sit down. Enjoy the show.
Hello, it's Alison Roman Roman and I approve this podcast.
I don't know what's at her like this. I've been sitting here with a fucking blindfold
on for ages.
So, Tony...
Yes.
I really don't like this.
I know.
If you were to guess,
how many years old do you think our special guest is today?
I don't know.
Maybe a week.
Less than one.
Less than one.
Special guest.
I know you should never ask of a lady their age, but is Tony close?
You can speak.
No.
Oh, my God.
Fuck off.
Fuck.
Actually, fuck off.
Say your blindfold off.
I can't.
No, I can't.
Say your blindfold off. Oh, my God. No, I can't. Save life.
Oh, my God.
I should have had a special guest today.
Tony, who do we have here?
Oh, my God.
No, I'm going to cry.
I'll survive this.
Am I allowed to say hello?
Yeah, you are.
Hi.
Oh, my God.
I'm sorry I'm not a baby.
Yeah.
Alison was like she's going to be disappointed.
Now, I know what happens in the group chat,
Tony stays in the group chat.
Yeah, it does.
But can I reveal that?
Please don't say anything.
So we saw that you arrived in Melbourne yesterday
on Instagram. How nice are the toilets
at the Melbourne airport?
Aren't they so nice? I was like, is this
a dream? Am I about to
die in here? What is happening?
Do you know what's annoying though?
Because it's like water, then
soap, then the dryer. When you try and put your hands
under the dryer, the soap blows everywhere.
It wasn't thought through,
I think, but a really nice experience.
Like, if you get off the plane after
being in the air for like 37
hours, that's what you want to come
to. That's like where you want to pee.
Yeah, I agree. I totally agree.
Should I share with Alison what happened in the group
chat last night? You don't have to.
I think we have to. I think I
must know. I came all this way. She came all this way.
So Tony messages Cam and I
and goes, Alison's in Melbourne.
How crazy. And Cam and I are like, oh.
No, that is weird. Hang on.
Hang on. Let me stand up for myself
here. It wasn't because I didn't know you were
coming. I've got tickets for your show
tomorrow. But I was like,
oh my God, like she's here.
You're here. Which is wild. like you're here i know which is wild
because you're from like you come all this way so far what is the flight well we're it's i was
doing like my math lady yeah we're like i flew from new york to la which is like going back in
time yes but then i flew from la to sydney yeah which is like going forward in time. Yes. But then I flew from LA to Sydney which is like going forward in time.
So I went from being 14 hours
ahead or behind to 17
hours behind to now like in
the future. It's very, it's odd.
But it was several flights.
I took an extra
flight like instead of going direct
this is so boring. No, I'm sorry to ask you.
From LA to
Melbourne because I wanted the points on Delta.
We're points guys now.
We've just become points guys.
If you want to talk about points, I'm here to talk to you all day.
I think you'll be okay with this maybe,
but I'm just more scared of our audience and Tony's reaction.
But I'm going to give you my phone,
and this is what Tony said if we randomly bumped into you while you were in town.
Which sounds very creepy.
But you might.
It seems like not that big of a town.
And if you want to read that out loud.
I really want to be friends with Allison.
I think she should read it.
Yeah, you don't.
I mean, I will read it.
Sure.
You're the guest.
I'm the guest.
I would fucking cum if I saw her.
Like, die from dehydration.
That's why I've got this huge...
Was that a very good dramatic reading?
Yeah, it should have been.
Like, we should have done some Atmos behind it.
Like, he scurries through the bushes.
Alison, we love your YouTube channel and everything you make.
Tony, was Alison's name in your Instagram bio for a while?
Probably, yeah.
So Tony.
I wrote about you in my book as well.
Oh, my God.
Which is pretty fucking weird, isn't it?
No, it's not.
Is that too weird?
No, I want to read it now.
Yeah.
We've got a couple of weeks.
We do.
We've organised that.
When did it come out?
Like a month ago.
Two months ago.
Oh, thank you.
I haven't read For Pleasure in eight years,
so this could be my first foray back into reading.
So Tony recommended you to me, and now I love you as well,
and we respect your cooking.
Do you respect Tony knowing that she has cooked salmon in a dishwasher?
Oh, you did that.
Well, you know, it's interesting that that is a cross-pollination demographic
because I would think anyone who respects me and my cooking would never do that. Well, you know, it's interesting that that is a cross-pollination demographic.
Because I would think anyone who respects me and my cooking would never do that.
Well, you would think that, hey.
So I saw this thing on TikTok.
We all know where you saw it.
We all know where you got the idea. Yeah, right.
It wasn't on YouTube.
It was on TikTok.
That it was like, what's that show like?
Cheapskates America or something? And they were cooking salmon and like lasagnas in a dishwasher.
And I was like I have to try this and see if it actually works.
And like it did work but it tasted as though it had been in the dishwasher.
I did also put the detergent pot in.
Did you really?
Yeah, because I thought like well obviously this is an eco thing.
I should be like.
Don't waste the water.
Yeah.
So it was like a full dishwasher load.
Do you put the salmon in something?
It was in foil.
Okay.
Yeah.
Oh, and I also put some shallots in because of you as well.
Oh, thank you.
Alliums, of course.
Respect that.
Yeah.
So Tony's boyfriend, Torbs, does most of the cooking at their house.
Okay.
My wife does most of the cooking at my house.
But we both love your YouTube channel.
How is this possible that people that don't actually cook
love watching your cooking show?
Have other people said that as well?
Yeah, I think people, they find cooking soothing to watch.
Yeah.
Even if they're not participating.
Like they feel a sense of accomplishment
even if they themselves are not making a thing.
But I think it's also like why shows like The Great British Bake Off
have been so successful or like why like any food program.
It's like watching a hobbyist do something.
And like I also like to think that like I do it well.
And so I think watching anyone do anything well is interesting.
Like I love watching figure skating.
I'm never going to figure skate.
Yeah.
But like watching people figure skate, amazing experience.
And do you reckon like when someone's really good at something,
they make it look so easy that it like looks attainable as well?
So you watch it and you're kind of like, oh, my God, I could do that.
Yeah.
But then you're like, oh, I can't.
No, but you can.
But I think that that's like the only reason you know I exist
or that like I'm able to do what I do is because I think it is easy like yeah people do do it and they do feel success they feel success well has anyone
ever felt success what does that even mean um but like they do it and it works and they feel good
they're like oh I did that like that I've okay you know I think that there's like an energetic
transfer when people do something that they succeed at and it makes them want to do it
again and again and again or tell other people about it and like i think that that's it's i'm
only successful because other people are successful at cooking the recipes i write is there any shows
that you watch um where you think it would be really easy but you would never do it because
for instance tony and i watch alone have you heard of the tv show oh my god i love that so we sit on
our couches and go oh they, they've stuffed that up.
We were like, oh.
Stop complaining.
They're like pine needles.
They're going to blow up.
Yeah.
Dummy.
Why did you?
30 days.
Can't fight a bear.
Oh, my God.
Yeah.
I'm like, oh, you brought a this?
Like you get five tools and you brought a that?
Like everybody knows that.
Anyway, yes, but I think that.
But also, like, interestingly, the Met Gala was yesterday.
Yeah.
Or two days ago.
I don't know what day it is.
We're actually four days ahead of the show.
Yeah, it was 12 weeks ago.
But, like, that's one thing where people, like, at home are like, I can't believe that's what they wore.
Like, they did not get the assignment.
It's like, I don't know what the fuck I would wear to the Met Gala.
Yeah, no.
God forbid I ever be invited.
But, like, you know, I would probably absolutely blow it.
Me too.
And it's very easy to be like, I can't believe you didn't know what camp was.
Or you're the one who goes, oh, strapless black dress.
I go, oh, that's what I would have picked.
They're like, boring.
You're like, that's right.
I would never do that.
Yeah.
Oh.
Yeah.
Now, I read when you started doing home movies that on your mood board was not a cooking show but Broad City.
Is that right?
My mental mood board.
I think it's so funny.
I said that once in like an interview in passing.
And people just latched on.
And everyone is like really locked into it, which is fine.
And to me I feel sheepish because they are so much funnier than me.
And like it's obviously like a scripted program and it's like a totally different vibe.
And like I shudder to think if they caught wind of that and I'd be like, do you think you're funny like us?
You're a fan of the show obviously.
Yes, absolutely.
And both of them.
And I think that more so it was like I was trying to convey that like I didn't want to have like a regular cooking show.
Like it had to be – it had to like have like a sense of place.
And I think one thing that made Broad City so successful is that was like a comedy show
with very funny women, but also it was a very New York show.
And I think people like New York.
Like it felt like New York was a character in it.
So definitely.
Second sex in the city.
Yes.
Not 100%.
So is it Abby's 30th birthday in the show where they walk from the tippity top of New
York to the tippity bottom in an episode?
Of Manhattan.
Of Manhattan.
So Tony turns 30 later this year and we're going to New York
to like recreate that episode.
Oh, my God, what a thrill.
Yeah, I'm really excited.
I hope we run into each other and we can come on the street
and become dehydrated.
It's a very big walk.
Yeah, I know, I know.
Dehydration is a high probability.
So if we're in New York, I guess we want like the inside word of like is
and it doesn't have to be obviously the big fancy place, but where it is like if you had someone coming to town
and you're like, oh, you haven't experienced New York until you've eaten here.
There's a lot of places.
I feel like for me, it's like, give me like, it's okay, 48 hours and I'd be like, okay,
here's what you do.
All of my eating activity takes place in the later half of the day.
I'm not a breakfast person, which makes me nervous to be here in Melbourne.
Yeah.
Oh, I like that you just said Melbourne.
I tried.
I don't know.
Melbourne.
Melbourne.
Melbourne.
Do you associate Melbourne with its breakfast and brunches and coffee?
That's what everybody has told me.
They're like, oh, they're huge into brekkie over there.
And I'm like, let's not.
Let's not with the brekkie.
I think that there is a huge coffee culture.
Like people are super big on coffee.
But like.
Brunch should be big everywhere though, right?
Just brunch.
Yeah, and brunch probably is bigger in New York.
I'm just not tapped in.
Yeah.
See, I'm a savoury girl.
So I'm a dinner person.
I'm a wine bar person.
Yes.
But I also love coffee and breakfast in the morning.
I ate both.
Where are you going to stay?
Do you know?
We actually don't know.
We haven't gotten that far.
Okay.
Why are you offering us to come and stay with you?
That's actually so kind of you.
We will accept.
I wish I had space.
I really do.
I have a cat and it's full.
But I would go. there's like a lot of
like, I'm like an old school restaurant
person. Like I love
you know, the older the better,
the like more energy
because you can't replicate that vibe.
That's sexy la la.
Yeah, when you try, it's like sad and weird.
And you're like, this is like,
it's not good. So, my
favorite restaurant in New York is called Keene's, which is a steakhouse.
That's like where I go more often in the colder months because it's like, you know.
Hotty.
Eating a steakhouse and 95 degrees outside.
Yeah, yeah.
But yeah, there's that place, which is like in Midtown.
And that's the only reason to go to Midtown, unless you're like seeing a show or something.
Inside the Tix.
That's like if you're doing like, if you're walking from the top to the bottom, that could be like a show or something. Oh. All right. Inside the Tix. That's like if you're doing like if you're walking from the top
to the bottom, that could be like a nice stop off around 5 p.m.
I mean, we will be there days either side of the walk as well.
Yeah, okay.
Well, you know, like it's good for like a full meal,
but it's also nice for like a shrimp cocktail and a martini.
Oh.
The perfect meal.
Keen on that.
I've never seen Toni say no to a cocktail.
Yeah.
Even though after one she's.
Oh, yeah.
I'm like not a good drinker.
Oh, really?
I have one drink and then I'm like, what?
Yeah.
I wish I was like that.
I'd probably.
I'm a very cheap drunk.
I tried to have a martini in the Delta Lounge.
Yet another plug for the Sky Mile lifestyle.
But it was like an hour layover and it was like one o'clock in the morning,
my time, but like 10 o'clock LA time.
And I was like, I could have a martini right now.
I took a sip of it and was like, I'm going to throw up all over this lounge and was like,
I think I've, I can never have a martini again.
And then I tried to have one last night and I was just like, I can't do it.
I know.
What's become of me?
Jet lag is not a good look.
I know.
What's become of me?
Yeah.
Jet lag is not a good look.
I did say on Instagram last night that you,
is it just like someone from out of town arrives and gets given a box of Tim Tams?
Is that what happened?
Yeah.
Well, Casey gave me the Tim Tams.
Yeah.
It was a gift from my publisher.
I will say, Casey, you should have given her double coat.
That's what I've heard.
Yeah.
Well, I'm really glad you brought this up. That's what I've heard.
That's my only criticism there. I did eat one this morning.
I did not document the situation.
But you don't normally eat in the morning.
Are we already at a loss?
No, we're at a loss because
I wasn't even that hungry last night for dinner.
I fell asleep at 9.30. I was up at 5.
Nothing is real right now. Nothing is regular.
So 8am, I
opened the Tim Tams.
It happened.
That's fair.
I had to know.
It's basically like Christmas when you put jet lag, anything goes.
Yeah.
And I was really prepared to find them completely mid, like a completely regular experience.
But I got to say, phenomenal.
Very good.
How did you consume it, though?
Well, I'm glad you asked.
This brings me to point B, because every single person was like, oh, you got to do a Tim Tam
slam.
You got to do the thing where you suck on the thing and bite the holes and make it a
straw and suck the hot liquid and then shove it in your mouth.
And I wish I could respond to everybody who suggested that to me, because I want to be
like, fuck off.
Do you even know me at all?
No.
See, I was literally about to say, I don't mind a Tim Tam slam, but that's not Fowlson Roman.
No, I don't like soft, soggy foods.
No.
I don't like it when there's a crunchy texture that you then make soft and soggy.
I don't even like dunking.
Cancel the Tim Tam slams.
I don't even like dunking a biscotti in espresso.
Like, if it's meant to be crunchy, let it be crunchy.
Do you know what I also hate?
That like then when you try and drink the coffee or whatever,
it's got like the biscuit remnants in it.
It's like sandy water after you've been at the beach,
like in the bottom of your shower.
It makes me upset.
Yeah, I think it's disgusting.
And I think the Tim Tams deserve better
because I find them to be like a very delicious,
well-constructed cookie
because I'm also very horny for milk chocolate.
And they are, everyone's like, oh, dark chocolate.
I'm like, no, no, no.
As is, to me, it's perfect.
I also don't like chocolate that much,
so I think single-coated is probably good.
I think the, I would like to do like a full panel
of Tim Tam testing, but if I had to guess,
I would say I'm like an original person,
an original Tim Tam. Yeah, okay. Okay. It does suit your demeanor and character I think yeah um so Cam and I have been texting each
other all week about your latest video and especially just the chat about boys who bolognese
is what we've been talking about yeah um and it um the concept of just every boy thinks they've
got like the best bolognese but it ends up up always being a bit, not bad, but just like.
It was like this mixture of like guys that I was dating or had dated or just like friends
of mine or friends of friends of mine.
And I just know it's like, I forget what that phenomenon is.
It's like recency bias or something.
Like when you notice one thing, you're like, it's everywhere.
Oh, the glass shattering thing.
So I was like, all of a sudden, like every dude was like, yeah, I't cook much, but, you know, I do make a really awesome bolognese.
I make a main pasta.
It's like, yeah, yeah.
Oh, I made your shallot pasta the other day.
That's, yeah, anyway, but I make a great bolognese.
It's like, or like, this one guy was like, oh, I go to the Bronx and I get my hand cut meat and I get the special can of tomato.
And I'm like, this, you're spending too much time on this.
And I'm not impressed.
And is it really paying dividends for you?
Like,
do people really think that their bolognese is that good
that someone's going to suck their dick?
Well,
I think that it has happened.
Not from me.
I did not fall for it.
But I do think when like,
it's also like meat,
tomatoes and salt and onion.
Like,
what could possibly go wrong?
Yeah.
It's not going to be bad.
You can't fuck that up.
Yeah, I have had not good versions.
But I do think that if you're not that confident in most of your cooking,
people have like one thing that they're like, oh, but that I do really well.
And I think if you try it and it's not that good, you don't –
it's not nice to be like, oh, that one thing you make isn't even that good.
So I think it just perpetuates the narrative.
And so everyone is always just like slow clap for the bolognese,
even if it's not that good.
Well, what's a meal?
Say, all right, you meet someone on Tinder, you meet at a bar or restaurant.
Eventually it's like, come over for dinner, I'll cook you something nice.
What is something that's easy enough to make,
but it's still like kind of impressive?
I guess what we're really asking is, Alison,
what's a meal that will get you laid essentially?
I think there's tiers to the system because depending on what we're really asking is, Alison, what's a meal that will get you laid, essentially? I think there's tiers to the system because depending on what you're comfortable with,
I don't ever recommend doing something that you've never done before because you can't
be panicking.
You can't blow it in front of somebody that you're trying to impress.
And you get sweaty in the kitchen as well.
So when you're under pressure, the oven's going, you've got something on the stove and you're trying to impress someone,
there's too much going on.
There's too much.
I think a good do-ahead.
Honestly, for me, it's going to be either a roast chicken.
I would consider that a tier two.
That's like, you know, you're confident in the kitchen.
And that's quite impressive.
Like if someone said, oh, I'm making you a roast chicken,
I'd be like, that's interesting.
But it's also very casual.
Oh, I just put some salt, pepper, and olive oil stuck in the oven.
Yeah, and I just put on some jammy tomatoes and leeks
from Alison Roman's cookbook as well.
Yeah, because it all just goes in the oven.
It's like no fussy, you know?
And so tier one I would say is like you could do like a spaghetti and meatball
or like a pasta and meatball or like meatballs with like garlic bread
or toast or polenta.
Like the meatball is the gift.
We actually just had your goodbye meatballs for dinner last night.
More like hello meatballs.
Yes.
But yeah, those are, they're flawless.
I make those probably more than any recipe I've ever developed.
Yeah, right.
12 smokes in one time.
When Bridget and I used to go to the meatball place on Swansea.
Oh yeah, the meatball bar.
Yeah.
Oh, it's where it's like meatballs and wine.
Yeah.
I drove by it. And then you can get like, there's like, the meatball bar. Yeah. Oh, where it's like meatballs and wine. Yeah. I drove by it.
And then you can get like, there's like, you'll hate this,
there's like a butter chicken meatball and there's like a, yeah, you know.
That's so nice.
That's a real shame.
That is a shame.
Yeah, it's like meatballs from different lands,
which, you know, is as bad as it sounds.
It does not sound good.
I will not be going there on this trip.
One segment we do is normal or nah.
So basically we've got a people have sent some things in
and we just need to hear for you if it feels normal or nah.
Or nah.
And it's sort of the food slash kitchen edition.
Oh, nice.
Is nah a word?
Is nah in your vernacular?
Not in my personal vernacular, but it's not uncommon to me.
So would you say no?
It would be like yay or nay or like yes or no.
Okay.
Yeah.
Nah just is really just like –
Nah seems very surfer.
Like in like American culture, I would –
Nah.
Yeah, I would say like if you heard nah, it would be like, yeah,
of that sort of lazy vernacular.
Yeah.
Like, okay. Okay, sure. Wow right all right normal or no no let's do normal or not we No, let's do normal or nah. We're in Australia.
Normal or nah.
Rinsing plates before you put them in the dishwasher.
Yes, normal.
Normal.
I always do it, and I know it's like the last thing you're supposed to do.
I swear that if I put things in the dishwasher,
it's not going to fucking clean it.
Yeah, that's what I think.
It's just throwing meat around in a circle.
Yeah.
People are like, oh, that's what the dishwasher is for.
But also, then all the food gets stuck in the thing and you have to clean it.
Clean that.
No.
Thank you.
Just a cursory rinse.
We're not talking like, I don't like people who do the full dishes and then put them in the dishwasher.
Oh, well, that's just wasteful.
And we're lazy.
So we don't do that.
That's why we use the dishwasher.
Now, this one is from Cam, who is a psychopath, by the way.
Oh, is this my?
No.
Yep.
Cleaning all the utensils and dishes, like the
pots and pans and stuff, before sitting
down to eat. Cam says
I hate people who don't do this.
Clean it, bitch, he wrote in a text.
Wow.
So you've got all the pots and pans.
I am a clean as you go person. Me too.
I do not like
accruing mass
piles of dishes.
Utensils, I draw the line.
But also, like, what utensils are you using when you're cooking?
Like spatulas and all that type of stuff.
But I can just go in the dishwasher can.
But if you don't, there was a large period of time recently where I didn't have a dishwasher at all.
And so I would clean large things as I could.
But ultimately, like, there comes a point, like, let's call it 30 to 40 minutes before you're actually sitting down.
You got to join the party.
Yeah.
You can't be there.
Washing the dishes.
Yeah.
And if you have good guests, then they'll help you clean up afterwards.
But I agree.
I think if you save them all until the end, you're in hell.
Yeah.
It's too overwhelming.
I just realized I'm not a good guest.
No.
I mean, if you're listening and
you've never offered to help clean, you're a bad guest.
I will, like, clear the table.
That's my go-to. That's nice. I think that's nice.
I don't know how they clean. That's like 50%.
And I think that
it's enough
to be like, can I do anything?
And they go, no, don't worry about it. That's enough.
I offered to.
If someone's at my house, I'm like, you know what,
I really don't want you touching everything because I know where it goes
and I know how I like it.
Oh, totally.
You know, then I think that the offer is fine.
I'm on the record as saying I love this and grew up on this.
Peanut butter and avocado together, normal or nah?
Fuck no.
Your face has already said everything it needs to say.
That's a fuck nah.
It's disgusting, right?
That's so foul.
He's made this for me at his house and I was like, mate.
I think avocados are overrated anyway as an ingredient.
I understand the logic because banana and peanut butter, delicious.
Banana and avocado, similar texture.
I see where you're going.
Avocado kind of doesn't have that much flavor.
So you spice it up
with a little peanut, you know? Nah, see, you know what
I will do? I'm trying to eat the benefit of the doubt.
It's bad. It's so bad.
And also, Ryan doesn't have a toaster.
So it was like
bread that had been just like baked
in the oven. No, I was in the grill
in the top bit. It wasn't good. I've since
got a toaster. Yeah, right.
But at the time. I'm going to start a GoFundMe and get a toaster. Yeah, right. But at the time.
I'm going to start a GoFundMe and get a toaster.
I can't have a Mac and Bread like that.
Wild.
Normal or not, the combination of mint and choc chip.
Oh, 100%. Yes.
This is her very favorite.
I love it.
It's my very favorite ice cream.
What do you think of mint, Tony?
I think it has that toothpaste.
I can't do it.
I don't know that you've had the right kind.
Because the right kind isn't going to taste like toothpaste.
The right kind is going to be like a delicate mint flavor.
And like the chocolate will not be so large and obtrusive that it kind of just like plays well with like the dairy, the cream, the mint.
It's like all working together.
I've had mint chocolate chip ice creams where it's too assertive.
You know, still?
What's your beef with mint?
That's okay.
It's one of those things.
It's a bit like Brooklyn Nine-Nine.
I wish I liked it.
It's not good.
But it's not good.
Yeah.
It's simply not good.
I've never met anybody else that doesn't like Brooklyn Nine-Nine.
I've fallen more deeply in love with you.
I want to like it.
And my boyfriend, he loves mint chocolate, ice cream, and Kit Kats, like everything mint
and chocolate.
He's obsessed.
And when we watched a home movie of like the ice cream cake, he was like, she loves mint.
And I was like, fuck.
Yeah, you can make that cake with other ice cream.
But I do think that like chocolate pairs pairs well with four things on this planet,
and mint is one of them.
Okay.
Maybe I need to get a good mint chocolate chip ice cream.
Well, when you come to the United States,
when you come to America for your big birthday,
you're going to have to go to Baskin Robbins.
We have it here, but I don't think it's the same.
You have a Baskin Robbins here?
Yeah, I don't think it would be the same.
We have it here, but yeah, I don't think it's as good.
Often we'll have it.
We go, oh, it's from, and then people go and taste it and go,
oh, it's not as good as the one we made.
But we do have it here.
Yeah.
But I don't know if it's as good.
Are you willing to try?
I'll try it, Alison.
Yeah, I'll try it.
And that, you know, but I also am very okay with people that are like,
I just don't like it because I feel the same way about several things.
Like what?
Avocado.
Oh, yeah.
It's not that I won't eat it.
It's just that I will never opt in.
I'll never pay extra.
You know what I mean?
Extra avocado in Australia is like $6 to $7.
No, things are expensive here.
Things are very expensive here and the inflation at the moment is insane.
Well, it's like the dollar is a bit stronger, so I'm doing the math and I'm like, okay,
it's still a little under New York prices. Okay.
Or about even. Yeah.
We're going to get crucified when we go over because the Australian dollar is no good.
No. It's going to cost us
actually a fortune. Yeah. It's going to be tough.
But we love you so we'll do it. So we'll go.
But I think it's like you break even because like I was like
someone was like oh you should go shopping while you're over there and I'm like
no at these prices. Yeah. Oh no.
And stuff isn't more expensive here than it would
be in America. Like clothes and stuff. at these prices? Yeah. Oh, no. And stuff is more expensive here than it would be in America,
like clothes and stuff, 100%. Yeah.
Yeah.
I do need to mention quickly because this episode's going out immediately,
by the way.
Oh, okay.
It's to the pipeline right now.
It's coming up.
Yeah, because the Writers Melbourne Festival is tomorrow night.
Yes.
So mwf.com.au for all the info.
Not only will you be able to see Alison Rome, but you'll be able to see Tony Lodge in the crowd. I'll be there. Yes So mwf.com.au for all the info
Not only will you be able to see Alison Roman
But you'll be able to see Tony Lodge in the crowd
I'll be there
What if you bumped into her?
You can see her
Brisbane Powerhouse on Sunday
Sydney Opera House on Tuesday
Huge
I know
That's massive
How cool
It's pretty amazing
That is huge
I had no idea that anyone in Australia knew who I was.
What?
Yeah, here she is.
How rude.
She bought all those tickets to the Sydney Opera House.
Isn't that weird?
She sold out the Opera House.
I bought all the tickets.
It's a little weird, but honestly, I'm flattered.
I wanted the points.
Yeah.
You know what?
Do it for the points, baby.
Because, and
Tony, have you
bought Alison's new book, Sweet Enough?
I actually haven't because I was going to buy it at the festival
and maybe see if you could sign it for me.
So we thought that.
So, and let me just do, and pretend
like I'm the host of a
Tonight Show and just look into the camera and go
Sweet Enough
is out now.
Yeah.
And look, my nails are the same.
You did a really good job.
Thank you.
I did them myself.
Did you?
Yeah.
They look great.
Thank you.
Is that a gel?
Yeah, it is.
You gel yourself?
Yeah.
I've got a lamp.
Oh, and that's not even my good hand.
You've got a good hand.
That's dedication.
Thank you.
Yeah.
Well, it's way cheaper actually because I'm poor as fuck. I just pick it off That's dedication. Yeah. Well, it's why I shave off, actually, because I'm poor as fuck.
I just pick it off.
Me too.
Yeah.
Because I'm a piece of garbage.
Yeah, when I'm nervous, like, well, we can do this offline.
No, please.
I'm like, what do you do with it?
Because, like, sometimes if I'm in public, I'll, like, be like, I'm at, like, a bar,
and I'll put them in my pocket.
And then I'll just, like, throw them.
And you find it later?
No, I throw them out when I get home.
But, like, nah.
It's so gross. I'm a trailer. I'm, like throw them out when I get home. Yeah. It's so gross.
I'm a trailer.
I'm like a Hansel and Gretel gel nails person.
So you'll find like little bits of like red on my couch
and like in the lounge room or whatever.
And then Tobbs is like, have you just picked all your nail polish off?
I'm like, how did you know?
He's like, because I can see it.
And then you went here and then you went here.
Then you came back around here.
Yeah.
Tony has flirted with the idea of a red lip.
Do it.
Yeah, thank you.
You should always do it.
Yeah, well, I...
Even if you...
I...
Yeah, even if you...
I have, like, hair and makeup today because I have, like...
Because you're meeting us.
You've got a million things on, I'm sure.
And I have to, like, be...
You know, and I don't know how to do my own hair and makeup.
Like, I don't know how to do anything remotely in that area. I don't know how to do anything remotely in that area.
But I will say I do know how to put lipstick on.
And it always, even if you're feeling like a piece of shit,
just a little red lipstick and you're good to go.
But even the one you've got on now is like a casual red lipstick.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, this is very casual.
What is that from?
This is a NARS.
Oh, of course.
Yeah, I think May did a blend.
Oh, beautiful.
The smoke. Oh. I'll May did a blend. Oh, beautiful. The smoke.
Oh.
I'll give you Alison Roman.
Thank you.
Yeah.
While I read out some more details,
I just want to remind you that Alison Roman is in your podcast studio.
If there's anything else you'd like to ask, this is your one opportunity.
But for all other things Alison Roman, alisoneroman.com.
Tomorrow night in Melbourne, Brisbane and Sydney coming up.
Sweet Enough is out now.
Toni, is there anything else you'd like to ask or say?
I obviously in my head had like, you know, played over like,
oh, my God, if I haven't met Alison Roman,
like we'd definitely be best friends straight away.
And now I'm feeling very overwhelmed because I wasn't expecting this.
So it's such a surprise. You wouldn't have wanted to
prepare for this moment. I wouldn't have been able to
tickets.
Do you know what that's
Is that an Australian saying? No, I don't know what that is.
Oh, that's like
It's like if you were a horse
Like write yourself.
Because you wouldn't want to prepare for this.
No, no, I'm just being like you don't ever want to know like want to know like i mean i don't anyway i don't want to know if
anything's about to happen yeah i'll overthink it i'll ruin it myself it'll be you are better
off the car i am better like that yeah i'm honestly i just i guess i like that yeah so
you can say i just learned that from my best friend tony okay if you're at the horse races
and you like bet on a horse you you get, like, a ticket stub.
So I think the saying is, like, tickets because you've bet on yourself.
Yeah.
Because of how confident you are.
Okay.
Ah, okay.
So if someone is.
Like, slow your roll.
Like, take it easy.
Yeah.
Okay.
Or tickets.
Yeah.
Like, write yourself.
Like, oh, you think.
Yeah.
Okay.
Tickets.
Yeah.
I heard another expression.
I'm going to.
I don't know what it is, but it includes spiders.
Yeah.
Oh, not here to fuck spiders.
I'm not here to fuck spiders?
Yeah.
What does that mean?
So if you were like at the pub and someone was like,
oh, do you want a beer?
And you went, oh, I'm not here to fuck spiders.
As in like obviously like it's kind of a similar idiom to like,
oh, is the Pope a Catholic?
Okay, okay.
Kind of like does the bear shit in the woods.
Should we do this podcast now?
Oh, well, I'm not here to fuck spiders.
Yeah.
Like, of course. Yeah. Okay. Like, yeah, well, I'm not here to fuck spiders. Yeah. Like, of course.
Yeah.
Okay.
Like, yeah, well, I didn't come here to fuck a spider.
Obviously, we should get a beer.
What a kookadoo phrase.
I gotta say.
Sorry, should we go back to kookadoo?
It does not make a lick of sense, but okay.
How would you feel knowing that you're going to have Tony
in the audience to drop a I'm not here to fuck spiders on stage tomorrow night?
Or is there, I feel like that's doable because there'll be a question.
There'll be a should we get started?
Well, I feel like if I do do it, people will know that somebody put it in my brain.
Yeah.
They're going to be like, well, she doesn't know.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's like I also probably my delivery will be forced.
Yeah.
Like I think I'll have to like maybe my next trip to Australia. Yeah. Because, I think I'll have to, like, maybe my next trip to Australia.
Yeah.
Because I feel like I need to leave it in and, like, figure out how it feels.
I've got to try it on.
I've got to wear it out of the house.
Yeah.
No, I feel that.
That's okay.
That's okay.
I'll know that you're thinking it.
I might bring it up, and if I do, I will bring you up.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, thank you so much. I'm honestly speechless. I have nothing else to say. Thank you so much
I'm honestly speechless
have nothing else to say
Thank you for coming
I am so happy that you know who I am
And we bought you a book
That's me
This is amazing
Also how great do you look on this cover?
I agree
Which part's Alison in?
This is also a great title
Thank you
I'll find the bit that you're in in a sec Which part? Which part's Alison in? This is also a great title. Thank you.
Hilarious.
Thank you.
I'll find the bit that you're in in a sec.
Is it before or after the bit that I'm in?
You're in a lot.
It's in the middle.
It's between the two bits that you're in.
I'm a huge five minutes away person, by the way.
I'm sure you could have guessed that.
I can.
Yeah, I definitely could have guessed that.
Yeah, we learned that this morning. And that's okay.
Well, you know what? I didn't know what time I was supposed to be here. Oh, we learned that this morning. And that's okay. Well, you know what?
I didn't know what time I was supposed to be here.
Oh, okay.
I was bliss.
She did me a favor by just letting me exist.
I was blindfolded like a fucking idiot for half an hour.
And I was getting really angry because I was like, we don't do, like, we do not do pranks.
Like, I think it's like this.
We as a couple, we as a, yeah.
Like, as co-hosts, we don't do pranks because we think it's really nasty.
It's not our thing. And we're friends and we love each other. Yeah, we as a, yeah. Like as co-hosts, we don't do pranks because we think it's really nasty. It's not our thing.
And we're friends and we love each other.
Yeah, we love each other.
And so our whole thing is like we're not here to like take the piss out of each other.
It's to like support each other.
Yeah, you're not here to fuck spiders.
No, I'm just kidding.
I didn't, I was wrong.
That's not really right.
I appreciated the way you backed it in.
Yeah, I was like, let's try that on.
And so I was like, we don't do pranks and I don't like that I'm sitting here blindfolded.
And Ryan was like, you can trust me.
And I was like.
Did you think at all?
I.
Okay.
So there was one part in my head where I went.
And then I was like, no fucking way.
Like, you're so busy.
There's no way that you're coming.
I'm too busy for you two.
That's what people say about you, Bea.
You're not busy at all.
Oh, I'm doing nothing. Flat out doing fuck all. I know you guys are busy. There's no way that you're coming. I'm too busy for you two. That's what people say about you, but you're not busy at all. Oh, I'm doing nothing.
Flat out doing fuck all.
I know you guys are busy.
I'm like, oh yeah, no, I could be there in five minutes.
But is it really five minutes? Yeah. We don't know.
Thank you so much for coming into our studio.
Such a thrill. Oh my gosh, thank you for having me.
You guys are a total blast and I
feel like I should have come to Australia so much sooner.
Do you think she says that to everyone?
No, I don't.
It's my favorite podcast.
No.
I love Tori and Brian.
She's like, is that not enough?
Is that not it?
Hey there.
It's Alison Roman, and you're listening to Tony and Ryan.