Toni and Ryan - Burgers In The Bath
Episode Date: January 25, 2024Bath hacks and Aussie chat! Love youuuuu xoxo [USED TO BE VIDEO EPISODE BUT NOT ANYMORE LOL TECHNICAL CHAT]Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group!&...nbsp;Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast.
It is our pleasure to have you.
Yeah, I'm Ryan, the Vice Captain of the ship.
This is Dr. Author Tony Lodge.
Now we're about to call car and I feel like when we call Glasgow, it could be like 3am.
Oh, we're looking at a late one.
Yeah, just the time difference.
Depending on how you look at it.
Yeah.
So let's just all be patient and like give her the benefit of the doubt if she wakes
up sounding like she fucking hates us and doesn't want to do it. It's just the time patient and give her the benefit of the doubt if she wakes up sounding like she fucking hates us
and doesn't want to do it.
It's just the time.
It's nothing personal.
Yeah, I'm nasty in the morning too.
Nasty all the time.
That wasn't like a cute line, guys.
I actually am a morning person, so I don't want to say that
because I am a morning person.
Car!
Car, how you doing?
Hi!
What time is it for you, Car?
It's 25 to 11 at night.
Oh, that's not too bad.
We were thinking it might be 3am or something.
Oh, that's good, Car.
That's good.
That's good.
No.
That's good.
What have we interrupted you doing this evening?
I was scrolling on Instagram.
Scrolling on Instagram.
Yeah, it could be any time of the day.
Really, that's all day activity, isn't it?
Yeah.
In fact, if anyone called me at night, that would be my answer.
Yeah, I'd be like, well, I was asleep.
Me and my wife decided to watch something, so we put it on Netflix
and then didn't watch it and just sat on our phones.
Yeah, yeah, fickle.
Cara, will you approve today's episode?
Yes, 100%.
Legend.
Hey, it's Cara from Glasgow, Scotland, and I approve this podcast.
Welcome to a video show.
You can watch this on the Spotify app as well as listen to wherever you're listening to it from.
Sloane Stephens, tennis player.
Also, for those playing along all around the world,
the Australian Open Tennis is like a four-minute walk from where we record this podcast.
Yeah, we're right in the thick of it.
Part of the action.
Part of the action.
When you're watching the tennis on the TV.
You can smell the sweat.
You can smell us. You can hear them going, ah, down the action. Part of the action. Yeah. When you're watching the tennis on the TV. You can smell the sweat. You can smell us.
You can hear him going, ah!
Down the road.
Yeah, and if you hear any moans during this episode,
it's from the tennis.
Yeah.
Ah!
It's the tennis.
That's how close we are.
Someone slapped a backhand there.
Sloane Stephens speaks out after a code violation
for eating sushi during a match.
So we were talking about this before.
The reason we brought this to the show, we're like,
they play for hours at a time.
Surely they're allowed a little snack.
Also, just in general, how on earth is there, like, what do you say?
I just, they probably get the sushi from the same place we get sushi.
It's probably that place on Swan Street.
Are we famous?
Famous sushi.
Yes, I've seen that tuna.
The mistake from Sloane Stephens is,
is the sushi place is two doors down from the Bar Mee place.
Yeah, they do a good dimmer there.
Good dims him.
If you're going to head down Swan Street for a snack, get the Bar Mee.
Bar Mee's closer to the Rod Laver Arena as well.
How would you sneak into a bar me to a tennis?
Because it's not just the size of it, but the crumbs.
She's wearing a beautiful white tennis dress as well.
If you've eaten a bar me, people know you've eaten a bar me.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Especially me because I get dandruff and wear black T-shirts.
I'm going, oh, an especially bad dandruff day.
And I go, no, I had a banh mi.
I had a banh mi, yeah.
Oh, snowing out there, it's 30 degrees.
So I was just really more impressed that she snuck sushi through.
I just can't believe she wasn't allowed.
That was my whole thing.
I was like, oh, so are they not allowed to eat?
Or is it that she was eating the wrong thing?
Like, is it like, oh, you can have a carrot stick but you can't have sushi.
Like what's the difference?
Yeah, put the carrot stick in rice and seaweed thing
and throw some salmon on it.
But that's my question is like are they just not allowed to eat at all?
Because you would get so hungry.
Well, I just keep thinking back to that final that was Nadal
and Djokovic that went for six hours.
Seven hours, whatever, yeah.
Have a Sunday roast, mate.
Like, settle in.
Actually.
Yeah.
Like, I need a bowl of pasta.
Carb up.
Yeah.
Do you think, though, that if you stop, like, do they get bathroom breaks?
Yeah.
Oh, they do?
Yeah.
Because, like, you're drinking all that water.
You need to, like, be able to get rid of some of it.
But I think, wouldn't you sweat it out?
But sweat and wee, like, I know that if you're sweating,
you need to wee less because that's where it's coming out of.
But like they're drinking that much water and they, you know,
keep your fluids up.
Keep your fluids up.
Yeah.
I don't know.
Surely though you'd need to do a poo at some point.
Whenever I exercise, I always need to poo.
It's like it works its way down.
Yeah, so it's like you've – well, because your legs are moving,
your hips are moving, the bowels are –
Yeah, like everything's getting going, especially early morning
when I need my morning poo anyway.
Yeah, so you go for a run in the morning and you get to, what,
the end of your block and you're like, oh, fuck.
Yeah, and you go fucking hell.
I've run it right out.
That's what they probably do.
That's why they probably say I've got the runs.
Because you're running.
Yeah.
Is that why it's?
Someone Google this.
Yeah, okay.
Anyway.
So Caitlin Schofield listens to this podcast.
Hello, Caitlin Schofield.
She's messaged through and said,
the only time I get alone time is when I'm in the bath.
The children know not to disturb mummy when she's in the bathroom.
Are you a bath guy?
In theory, but I never like get around to it.
Yeah.
Bridget, pre-baby, was like a bather.
And in fact, when we were like looking at houses, my one thing was a fireplace and her
one thing was like a bath.
That was mine too.
Yeah.
I'm big on a bath.
Bridget used to be like every Sunday she'd like chill out and have a bath.
Obviously with a baby, we don't really get to do anything anymore.
But I've been jumping in with Mabel when she has a bath.
When she has a bath, yeah.
That's nice though.
Yeah.
I think also like I just love water, wet for life.
Wet for life.
So I'm on Caitlin's team here.
Caitlin said, so last week I snuck an entire Taco Bell craving box
into the bath.
P.S. I don't have depression, just not a lot of alone time.
I rate that so hard.
The only thing that I will flag about eating, like,
something greasy in the bath.
Tony, a known food spiller.
Yeah, is that, like, if you get like greasy hands and then you like need
to wipe them on something, you can't like put them in the bath
because then it's like food grease.
That layer of grease slimming across the top.
Yeah, is like in the thing.
Is that called a film?
Yeah, like and then.
I'm more concerned about a lump of meat.
Yeah, or like a straight chip a bit
of potato and gravy you know like dropping in there just floating around then your own your
own little broth oh yeah you're like a fur like um you're a taco bell soup yeah so that's my only
thing about eating in the bath because i've done it in a hotel before i actually like i ordered i
ordered so this is at the Coutines.
Yeah, I think I recall.
And I ordered like a burger and I was like,
I'm going to eat that in the bath.
I was like, fuck yeah.
It was like this massive bath and there was a TV in there.
I'm going to be a lush, fancy bitch.
Yeah, it was like, it was so nice.
I set my laptop up.
I was watching The Hills and I was sitting in the bath.
And you know when you're eating a burger and like,
oh, this is pretty grim actually.
Once you tell this story, no one's going to be able to unsee it.
But please continue.
You know when you're eating a burger and if the meat is like good quality,
it's like juicy.
Yeah.
So the juice from the burger like started to drip out and then like.
Onto a plate.
Into the bath
because I needed to double fist the burger so I couldn't hold it.
It wasn't a dainty cheeseburger from McD's.
It was like a big gourmet.
It was like a big cop the lot burger kind of thing.
Anyway, and then so I'm sitting in the bath
and I just didn't really realise because I'm like watching the hills,
I'm like feeling so lush.
And then I realised that the juice of the meat had kind of mixed with like the tomato and the mustard and the mayonnaise and stuff and become quite thin like this is obviously a ketchup or
whatever it's quite viscous quite thick but no it became quite thin and then that was dripping into
the bath as well so I was just like in a little marinade. Put me on the barbecue.
Yeah, ready to go.
Simmering for an hour.
And because I always have a shower after a bath because like you need to kind of like wash the bath off you.
I don't think that's normal.
But in this circumstance, I will pay that because you need to wash the burger and the tomato.
Well, especially.
But you're supposed to have a shower after because like you've been soaking.
So you need to like rub all the dead skin, so you need to, like, rub all the, like, dead skin off.
You need to wash the water off.
Well, it's, but you've been sitting in your, like,
like it, like, soaks all the everything off.
So it's, like, give yourself a little scrub and then that's, like,
freshen you up.
That's, like, if you're doing a loungy bath.
If you're having a bath and you're washing yourself, that's a bit different.
But anyway, yeah, so you do have to be careful eating in the bath.
That would be my only bit of advice.
Caitlin, do what you will with that info.
I'm just letting you know.
I reckon after she's done it once, Caitlin already knows.
Yeah.
Great idea.
I would get yourself one of those bath caddies as well,
the ones that go.
Yeah.
I've got one of those, yeah.
For that reason?
I prop my iPad up or like my Kindle
or whatever
so I can flick through
and read
and then I'll always have
like normally
Torbs will make me
like a pot of tea
or something like that
so I pop that on there
and yeah
that's really nice
yeah it's very sweet
anyway
have you bathed
in the new house yet
I haven't
it's a really deep bath
like it's not very big
but it's quite deep
yeah
there's nothing worse
than a shallow bath and it's like the top of your knees.
Yeah.
And because Torb's like my partner, he's so tall.
So whenever he's tried to have a bath, he's just like,
his knees are up around his ears.
That's my job.
Next.
You okay?
Yeah.
Adele.
So we're going to sneak in food.
Sorry. Yeah. Adele, I went to the Yeah. Adele. Swinging a snake in his foot. Sorry.
Yeah.
Adele, I went to the movie.
Adele.
Oh, my God.
Hello.
And guess who it is?
It's me.
Adele, I went to the movies and my friend pulled out a footlong meatball sub with extra sauce from her trench coat.
Oh, from the trench coat.
Wow.
Someone's flashing later.
What is your stance on taking a smelly food into the cinema though?
No, no, no.
Because like, you know when you're in the cinema and you can smell
like the popcorn and whatever.
That's what a cinema's supposed to smell like.
Yeah, but I think if I smelt a meatball sub, the cinema and you can smell like the popcorn and whatever. That's what a cinema is supposed to smell like. Yeah.
But I think if I smelt a meatball sub, I'd be like, oh, that's not the smell for right.
Like, do they smell delicious?
Yes.
Is it the smell for right now?
No.
Do you remember that time we got on the plane and that person brought on all that red rooster?
And I was like, these smells don't make sense.
No.
And it made me starving. Yeah. Because all I could smell was like chips and like that chicken aroma. And I think it, these smells don't make sense. No, no. And it made me starving.
Yeah.
Because all I could smell was, like, chips and, like, that chicken aroma.
And I think it was a short flight, so then they come down, like,
oh, did you want, like, a cracker and a cup of tea?
And you're like, no, I want a fucking quarter chicken and chips. Yeah, I want the drama that that guy's got in his mouth.
Like, that's what I want.
Speaking of, like, good smells in wrong places.
Yeah.
Okay.
I think I've mentioned this before. I don't know if I want to hear this.
No, it's not as bad as that headline says.
And it's not hard because that headline is pretty grim.
Cursed.
Shit.
Perfect opportunity.
Go speaking.
Someone dared me in year 12.
Because, like, in my year and, like, in Victoria, everyone turns 18 and gets their license during
the last year of school.
And so.
That's so insane.
I just got my license and someone goes, I bet during maths, you can't ask to go to the
bathroom, run to your car, get to Macca's, go through the drive-thru and bring some chips
back.
Like in the time of a bathroom break.
And I was like, don't fucking challenge me. I was about to say, have you heard, seen Ryan go to the bathroom and bring some chips back, like in the time of a bathroom break. And I was like, don't fucking challenge me.
I was about to say, have you seen Ryan go to the bathroom?
Because it lasts a while.
It lasts a while.
And maybe the teachers knew that, but I had that on my side.
Yeah.
So I was like, oh, excuse me.
You know, I'm just going to the bathroom.
Yeah, you're good.
Run to the car.
And because just driving is like, oh, my God.
Oh, the thrill.
Yeah.
Go to Maccas, get some chips.
And I put them kind of like in my pocket.
And the smell of a delicious McDonald's salty fry is glorious.
And I just thought, oh, yeah, I'll just take a few chips from my pocket.
But it's like within five seconds of me walking in, everyone just goes.
Oh, yeah.
What the fuck?
It's like a sniffer dog at the airport.
Like you can't miss a fry when it's not supposed to be there.
And straight away they're like, Ryan, did you just instead of going to the bathroom
go to McDonald's?
And I was like, no.
No, that was someone else.
And the teacher's like, I mean, we all know you did, but you can all smell the chips and
there's like salt on your face and you're eating one right now.
Was he not just like, so did you get enough for everybody?
Yeah, kind of.
And it was just like, what do you even say to that?
He just goes, yeah. Where's for everybody? Yeah, kind of. And it was just like, what do you even say to that? He just goes, yeah.
Where's he now?
Yeah.
Mr. Brass.
Hope you're doing well.
Mo Reeves.
When I worked at a grocery store, I snuck so many snacks that I could have worked for free and still been way ahead.
Now, what's yours as a former Coles deli worker?
Yeah, I mean, it's stealing.
What the fuck?
Why would you bring a B and say it twice?
Why would you say that?
Way to kill the mood.
But it is, isn't it?
No.
Well, it is.
But, I mean, yeah, we all did it.
What was your favourite thing to sneak?
Or, oh, it dropped on the floor, might have to write it off.
Okay, so not that I would have ever done this.
Never.
But, like, on a Saturday shift or a Sunday shift,
you'd be pretty hungover.
Like, all of us would be super hungover.
And, like, the ovens would always be on to, like, cook chickens.
Oh, the smell of the rotisserie chicken.
Yeah, the smell of a chicken.
Fuck me. But we also used to sell. Oh, the smell of the rotisserie chicken. Yeah, the smell of a chicken. Fuck me.
But we also used to sell.
Sorry, yeah.
But like if you were about to go on lunch or whatever
and you would smell those chickens, you'd be like, oh, fuck, I'm so hungry.
Like it would smell so good.
But when you're hungover, no, it's not only the chicken,
but we also used to sell like Kranskis and hash browns
and like those little like.
Is being around those things when you're hungover the worst thing
or a temp?
Because sometimes you're like that hungover, you're like,
I just can't even.
And like, yeah, there would be times when you just like throw up
in the sink and keep going.
But again, I would never do this.
I'm saying hypothetically.
Hypothetically.
But yeah, so we sold like hash browns and Kranskis
and like those chicken tenders.
Like, you know, sweet chili chicken tenders.
Oh, fuck, they are so fucking good.
Bad day to be a chicken tender.
Yeah, and so we would like pop all those in the oven with the chickens
and then we'd have a little feast.
Does that mean all of the chickens smell slightly different to normal?
No, no, no, because it would just be like in the bottom of the thing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or you'd use like the second smell slightly different to normal? No, no, no, because it would just be like in the bottom of the thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Or you'd use like the second oven instead of like doing two lots
of chickens at once.
You would do like one lot of chickens and then our hash browns
would be in the oven.
They'd be like, oh, a lot of chickens.
Yeah, both ovens going.
One of those days.
The other thing that we used to do is if the good people were
in the bakery, they'd make us fresh croissants.
We'd be like, if you bring some croissants over,
we'll cut you up some ham and cheese and we'll pop them in the oven.
An original barter.
What was the exchange rate of croissant to hash brown?
Well, we would just be like, if you bring enough croissants,
we'll eat some and we'll send you back with some loaded croissants.
So one-to-one?
Yeah, yeah.
See, because of inflation, times have changed.
Now you would get a crumb for a sausage.
Nothing.
That's why I don't work there anymore.
I'd love to go back to the jelly.
Can't afford it.
These days!
Hey, it's Kerr from Glasgow, Scotland,
and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive shout out to a few of our champion tapas over at our Patreon tapas.
That's Tony and Ryan podcast.
Sorry, it's a Friday.
I don't know why that makes up for it.
No, you go.
Natalie Norman.
Good on you, Natalie.
Reid Aselstein.
Reid Aselstein.
Selstein, maybe.
Sorry, all I could think was R.L. Stein in my brain,
like Goosebumps Books.
First Adele, now this.
Nolan and Dresden.
I don't know if it's Nolan and Dresden, as in two people,
or Nolan and Dresden.
Nolan and Dresden sounds like a person who would be the publisher
of Goosebumps.
It does.
Yeah.
Or like a fancy lawyer firm.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm actually a high-powered lawyer with Nolan and Dresden.
Well, we'll see what the guys at Nolan and Dresden have to say about that.
Yeah.
Sherry, good on you, Sherry, and Rebecca Van Muelen,
thank you so much for being part of our Patreon. You're absolutely love to see it. Sorry that you, Rebecca, don't sound to say about that. Sherry, good on you, Sherry, and Rebecca Van Muelen, thank you so much for being part of our Patreon.
You're absolutely love to see it.
Sorry that you, Rebecca, don't sound like a law firm.
Great name.
Rebecca Van Muelen, though, sounds like a DJ.
Yeah.
Oh, you're thinking of Eric Van Halen.
No.
No, that is not a DJ.
That's three different things mixed into it.
Yeah, you're thinking of Van Helsing.
Oh, no, that's a vampire.
No, you're thinking of Van. Well, no, that's a vampire. No, you're thinking of Van.
Well, Van Halen's obviously not.
Yeah, Van.
Van Buren.
What's the guy's, what's his name?
Armin Van Buren.
Yeah.
Who is also Van Halen and whatever you said.
Van Helsing.
Yeah.
That is actually.
A great trio.
They're about to hit the road together.
Van Helsing is played by.ugh jackman yes really yes i just made that up no but i knew that you'd know what i was thinking of wolverine no you're thinking of um christian bale no uh
no no uh you're thinking of the guy that plays Hugh Jackman's double
in The Prestige.
For those playing at home.
Can't believe that they got such a good guy.
That is also played by Hugh Jackman.
Hey, anyone else watching Boys Swallows Universe on Netflix?
It's an Australian show, but I'm guessing if it's on Netflix,
it's available everywhere.
I don't know.
I think it's a Netflix original, but you know how
sometimes then it feels like they'd be
available. Let us know if you can see it overseas, but
it's so good.
And it's really Australian. So I think
the guy who wrote... It's like based in Brisbane, right?
Yeah, and the guy that wrote it, it's like based on his childhood,
which is fucking cooked because you think
it's this wacky, crazy drama. How
could this happen? But it's like, it's real life.
And I think he's now 40.
So just to give you an idea, when he was like 8 or 10,
the season starts, what's that, early 80s?
Sure.
Mid-80s.
And it's just like they're wearing pluggers.
It's suburban Queensland in the 80s.
Everyone's got a mullet, like unironically and stuff.
And it's like a pretty hectic, crazy story.
But it's also similar to your book, Tony.
You know how we all said like, oh like whether that was like one of the goals
from the outset, it's just like it was a real look back
to life growing up in Australia.
Which is absolutely not what I meant to do.
It's so good.
Because it's based on a book, Boy Swallows Universe.
Yeah, but it's based on his real life.
So I haven't watched the show because so many people have told me
that they hated the book.
Yeah, like people are like I'm 100 pages in, like do I give up?
Like it's just not grabbing me.
Watch the first two episodes.
Yeah, the show's great.
The TV show's great and I wouldn't read a book.
Yeah, but I think because so – but then there's people that I've seen
that love the book so much.
So I'm really torn because I'm like, oh, I'm super into reading right now.
Should I read the book before I watch the show?
But I'm like, if people don't really like the book
but are saying the show's awesome.
I tell you what the book doesn't have that the TV show does.
The fact that it's on TV and you don't have to think about it?
Also that.
But one thing that people overseas might not know about Australia
is that we only have like 15 actors here
and so every Australian show is sort of like the same people.
Yeah.
So one of my favorite things about watching Australian shows going,
is that the,
um,
that guy was in all saints.
Yeah.
I think there's actually a guy from all saints in it.
Don't doubt it.
I'd put money on the fact that there's someone from all saints in it.
No,
there definitely is the old guy who's in the first scene.
John Howard.
No,
different guy.
Isn't John Howard? The actor, John Howard. No, a different guy. Isn't John Howard dead?
The actor John Howard?
Yeah.
Can someone Google that?
John Howard actor.
He was great.
Were you talking about him recently or something else?
Yeah, because we saw the real John Howard at the airport.
Oh, that's right.
Is John Howard dead?
No.
Thank God.
Okay, all good, all good, all good.
He's not dead.
Good, good news.
But it is great to see every actor and go, oh.
Guys!
Oh, he is dead.
Too many Googlers.
Is someone?
Someone speak.
Is he dead or not?
I, it says he died at age 82.
R.I.P.
We need to take a moment.
We'll be back in one day.
Tony sorry's ghost at the airport
That's so sad
Because he was also in Always Greener
Did you watch Always Greener?
Yeah that was a great show
Such a good show
Oh fucking me hang on
How many John Howards are there?
The actor from America
Died at that age
The Australian actor is still alive.
Oh, God.
I've got to call him.
I've got to let him know I'm thinking about him.
Yeah.
Let's add him on LinkedIn and fucking let him know that we're thinking about him.
All right.
No more John Howard chat or Googling, and everyone, please stay alive.
Okay.
Yeah, Always Greener.
Such a good show.
Great show.
Yeah.
Nothing to do with the main story of Boys Volleyball Universe.
So this is not a spoiler.
So is he the guy that's in Boys Volleyball?
No, because we thought he was dead.
Who's the guy that's in?
No, there's another guy from All Saints.
Oh, sorry.
Yeah.
This is no spoilers, but there's a scene where the main character,
Eli, he goes to the school canteen to buy lunch,
and he didn't realize that his mum was working at the canteen that day.
And isn't your mom working at school?
And I don't know if this is the rest of, actually,
that probably doesn't happen in the rest of the world.
So in Australia, like all the moms kind of like took turns
to go work at the canteen.
It's like all the moms that are, or the parents that are in the PNC,
the parents and community or whatever it's called.
And like, so if you were on the board of the PNC,
like you would go and help in the lunch, the canteen.
So he's like, oh, cool, all his friends.
Oh, yeah, what's up?
Hanging out with my friends.
I'm just going to get some food.
And then he's like, oh, hey, sweetie.
And probably wearing the hairnet and whatever.
Hey, sweetie, how's school today?
And he goes, oh.
And she goes, yeah, so-and-so's mum was not feeling well,
so I'm just filling in.
My mum tried to do the canteen once,
and she said that it was
the clickiest room.
Really?
That all of the ladies in there were like, she would be like,
oh, great, the cheese.
I'd go, no, Angela does the cheese.
And mum would go, oh, okay, like shall I pop this in the oven?
She'd go, no, Rachel's mum does the oven.
And it was really, and mum was like, oh, okay,
and she only tried to do it once and she never went back.
She got bullied out of there.
Probably Mrs. L's good.
Probably fucking had something to do with it.
But, yeah, apparently it's like quite a cookie-like group.
I don't doubt it.
Well, there was a bit of –
Archie Barty.
Well, in Boy Swallows Universe, they're like on the rough side of the tracks
and there's suspicions that the stepdad's like selling a bit of gear
to make some cash and whatever.
So one of the old snooty bitches working in the canteen
has got an eye on his mum going, hey, just make sure
all that money ends up in the fucking till, all right?
A bit of that kind of.
Drama.
Like every time someone paid with money,
she'd like kind of lean over and just watch,
like make sure that money goes where it's supposed to.
Nasty.
Yeah.
I'm not at the end of the show, so I'd hate to think, I hope nothing.
I wonder where that old bitch ends up.
Yeah, I wonder what would happen.
I was about to say something bad, but like maybe, yeah.
Yeah.
Are you, so because your mum's a teacher,
did she ever teach at the school you went to?
Nah.
Oh, but were you happy about that or not?
Because I feel like it's one of those things where you'd be like,
I would be like, oh, mum, don't have lunch for the canteen.
Don't have money for the canteen.
Can I borrow some cash?
And they go, fuck, yeah, okay.
So I reckon there'd be like swings and roundabouts of your parents
like working at the school.
So my auntie Linda worked at my school.
Oh, that's right.
She was an art teacher and she was at Eltham High.
And her kids, my cousins, Bonnie and Rowdy, they went to Eltham High
and her mum was a teacher there.
Oh, so when did they move down south?
Like they retired and then like left their retirement. Oh, so they always used to live up here. Oh, Eltham High. No mum was a teacher there. Oh, so when did they move down south? Like they retired and then like left their retirement.
Oh, so they always used to live up here.
Oh, Eltham High, yeah, yeah.
Oh, I didn't know that.
Yeah, and so Linda was my teacher for like, I think we did an elective
that was like architectural drawings and stuff like that.
Yeah.
And so I, you know how I love houses.
Yeah.
And I always like thought I wanted to be, and I love drawing floor plans
and then Linda was like, oh, he really loves it,
but obviously don't do that.
As a job. As a job. Okay. All like, oh, he really loves it but obviously don't do that. As a job?
As a job.
Okay.
All right, Linda, taken.
Yeah, and I didn't.
And then I studied accounting and that went well for me.
Yeah.
Do you know the other day, you know, sorry,
this is like completely unrelated to that.
You know how you used to work at Picture Partners?
Yeah.
The other day I was in the city, right?
Yeah.
Don't ask me why.
And I saw this gigantic Partners. The other day I was in the city, right? Don't ask me why. And I saw this gigantic building.
And that was Picture Partners.
It is huge.
I also always thought it was Picture Partners, but it's picture.
Like a picture of juice.
Our minds are different.
Yep.
I thought it was Picture Partners.
No. But it's picture. P-I-T-C-H-E-R. Yeah, that's what I thought it was picture partners. No.
But it's picture, P-I-T-C-H-E-R.
Yeah, that's what I thought it was, but it's like a picture of juice.
Picture your finance future being tax compliant.
Like, yeah, or I don't know, anyway, or like we'll like frame things
how you want, you know, like we'll frame your finance.
That's not, but I hope the marketing team at Picture Partners
is paying attention.
Thank you.
Yeah, and I didn't realise
that it was such a big building. It's huge.
When I worked there,
it was in the city and it was like, we had
four or five floors of a full...
But now it's like the whole building.
And it's across the top.
It's insanity. I could
not believe it. Could you imagine me whilst
in a suit? Do you know what I actually
did? I was in the car with other people and I was like, oh,
that's where Ryan used to work.
Oh, yeah.
And I was like, yeah.
And I always very fondly remember and have a little tear in my eye
when you tell me about that first day.
That I hooked up with Mr Pitcher's niece?
No, no, no, no.
Okay.
Redacted.
No.
That when you rocked up that there was like 80 kids all got their grad job.
Yeah.
And that you rocked up there and there was 79 people in a navy blue suit
and one person in a grey suit and the grey suit was you.
Light grey.
Someone goes, you're up to the spring carnival, mate.
And it like, I feel it in my heart when you, like you've told me
that story before and every time I think about it, I just go,
like, you know, like you just, oh, fuck.
Like of all the days to like stand there, you go, oh,
with my blue suit.
Like it's just.
That's not my, how I recall that day.
Oh, but that's just how I hear it.
Whenever I'm like, oh, like, because I think if that was me
and I was the only person not wearing that navy blue suit,
I'd be like, I've got to go to Meijer on my lunch break
and buy a blue suit.
I'm not a Navy suit guy.
And I said to the other 79 guys, you've all misjudged that.
Yeah, oh, blue suit wouldn't have helped though.
A blue suit is sharp though, like that Navy blue suit.
Although a good easy laugh is a must have missed the memo.
Oh, that is good, yeah.
Yeah.
That'll actually do me for today.
And that just breaks the ice of that, doesn't it?
Well, I actually thought that'll do me for today,
but then the boss was like, it's 8.31 and you've actually got seven hours
and 59 minutes of accounting to go.
And I was like, oh, I was just about to clock out.
Yeah, you go, oh, so comedy though.
Yeah.
What's the deal with that one?
I know I just got this grad job, but I'm wondering about that instead.
Oh, I wasn't long out at the door to do radio.
Yeah.
Fair enough.
Yeah.
Question. Question. Back to mum working at the school canteen. Oh, I wasn't long out at the door to do radio. Yeah. Fair enough. Yeah. Question.
Question.
Back to mum working at the school canteen.
Oh, sorry.
Oh, actually, so when Linda was my teacher, I called her Linda and everyone else would
be like, oh, Mrs. McLeod or whatever her thingy teacher name is.
But I was like Linda because to me she was Linda.
Did you say Aunty Linda?
No, but I wouldn't.
She was just Linda to me.
Oh, you don't say Aunty.
Nah.
Is it a power play?
Or just because for me, I'm like saying Miss McLeod feels weird
because that's not who you are to me.
You're Linda.
Yeah, but I guess, but I know that your school was kind of chill.
So maybe in another school it would be like not okay,
but because you were like.
When we went to school camp, Linda was like one of the teachers
coming on the school camp.
Like a chaperone or whatever.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And then my other cousin, Max, who also is Auntie Linda, he was with us.
And then she actually said to us like, oh, do you want me to go one of the other days
that you're not there?
Oh.
I'm not like crampy style.
That's cute.
I think that's really nice because you like, it can be embarrassing.
I was nice off of you.
No, we didn't give a shit.
Oh, but like you can imagine. I appreciate the offer. Yeah. Yeah. No, that is really nice because, like, it can be embarrassing. Oh, it's a nice offer. No, we didn't give a shit. Oh, but, like, you can imagine.
I appreciate the offer.
Yeah, no, that is really nice.
All right, imagine this, Toni.
Okay.
What's worse?
Three options.
Okay.
And obviously they're all good because they include your mum.
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
So I really have to imagine.
Option one.
Yep.
Because she's 10.
You rock up to the school canteen. Yep. When you were in high school, when she was one. Yep. Because she's dead. You rock up to the school canteen.
Yep.
When you're in high school, when she was alive.
Yep.
No, no, no.
I'm putting myself out.
Oh, my God.
She's back.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Is he working at a school canteen this whole time?
I died.
Yeah.
You rock up in front of your friends and you're trying to act cool and your mum is working
at the school canteen.
Yeah.
I'll stop you right there.
I wasn't cool.
So, yep.
Option two is, excuse me, ladies and gentlemen, sorry to interrupt, over the loudspeaker at the school.
Tony Lodge, apparently you forgot your lunch and your mum has dropped off your lunchbox at the front office.
Can you come and get it?
It's so embarrassing.
Or three, you rock up to school on casual dress day only to realise
that casual dress day is actually next Friday.
Okay, well, you know that this has happened to me, the last one.
So I'm just trying to get an order of where we stand.
Run me through that day again real quick.
I can't.
My mum thought that it was jeans for jeans day so I rocked up to school and I was
wearing jeans and an orange million suns t-shirt um with my little sweaty two dollar gold coin for
a donation and I got to school and I saw all these kids like in their uniform I was like
loser like your mom doesn't love you you're not even wearing free dress and then I saw like, loser, like your mum doesn't love you. You're not even wearing free dress.
And then I saw like more and more kids and I was like, that's weird.
Like why isn't anyone in free dress?
And then my mum had dropped me off at school and like gone to work.
Fucked off.
And then I saw more and more kids and I just like bawled my eyes out. Like with my teacher, Ibu Wishart.
She was the international teacher.
So it's Ibu Wishart.
Yeah, Ibu, yeah.
And I cried in her arms because I was so embarrassed.
In her arms.
Yeah, like she cradled me like a baby.
I was in year five.
Were you crying of embarrassment because you were being cradled
by Ibushan?
No, because I was like inconsolable.
I was so embarrassed.
And I was not a popular kid.
Like it's not as if it was like, oh, like who cares at least I'm like wearing cool clothes. I was like devastated that I was going a popular kid. It's not as if it was like, oh, who cares at least I'm wearing cool clothes.
I was devastated that I was going to stand out.
So it was just these days I think I'd be like, main character.
But then no.
No, no, no.
When did you become the main character?
About five minutes ago.
And, yeah, and it was fucking awful. then like the following like i got home well mom came
to pick me up from school and i went mom and she goes i know i'm so sorry she's like i then heard
it on the radio because people listen to the radio then 94.5 mix 94.5 empath what do you mean
she heard on the radio well because that's what they used to. So coming up in traffic, some bitches rocked up in an orange t-shirt.
How embarrassing.
It's not even Jeans for Jeans Day.
I think it was like, oh, and next week, Jeans for Jeans Day.
Like, are you setting up a donation in the workplace?
Sorry, I thought you'd made the news because of your dress.
So she's heard next week's Jeans for Jeans Day and she's gone.
She's gone.
I've just dropped Tony off in jeans and an orange fucking t-shirt.
Anyway, and then I go, and mum goes, I know, I'm so sorry.
And then, like, the following week I was like, well,
I'm not going to school.
Like, you can absolutely go fuck yourself.
Just take the day off, yeah.
Like, literally, fuck you, mum.
I would never say that to her, but obviously not.
And she was like, well, you have to go to school, babe.
Like, you have to go. And I was like, well, you have to go to school, babe. Like, you have to go.
And I was like, no.
You don't know what I'm capable of.
And I'm capable of not going to school.
And I'm capable of sitting home on this couch all day and watching movies.
And I'm pretty sure I went in and I'm pretty sure that, like,
someone at school was like, oh, like, free dress again.
And that.
It's like, yeah, I'm just really passionate about research
for people's genes and genetic diseases.
Yeah.
Sorry, do you hate health?
Yeah, do you hate your family?
Yeah, do you hate the health government, health department?
Do you hate private research companies?
I don't know who it is.
Genes for genes.
Is that still a thing, genes for genes?
I'd ask these guys to Google it, but I'm not.
No, I don't trust them.
I don't trust them.
They've come in on free dress day.
So to put those three things in order.
I think I'd go lunchbox at the front office because, again,
main character, I'd be like.
That was my name on the PA.
Do you reckon now in 2024 there's like, Tony Lodge to the office,
your Uber Eats has arrived?
Yeah.
Surely not.
Surely.
Because you're not allowed your phone at school.
Or but if your mum ordered you –
No, but you're not allowed, but like –
We weren't allowed.
They would take it off us if we –
Yeah, if you got called.
At private school.
But then how would you get something delivered?
At – like just – you'd time it right.
No, no, no, but like how else would you get something delivered
if you weren't like –
Did you see a phone here, Mr. fucking old mate?
No.
Mr. fucking old mate, no.
I'm just eating out of a new bag.
Yeah, I bought this from home.
So that's top, second is.
So I would do.
Canteen, last is jeans for jeans.
Yeah, because of my lived experience with the jeans for jeans.
And I think that's fair.
We talked about the tennis earlier.
Sushi Gate.
Sushi Gate.
Dylan Alcock had one of the great jokes I've seen on TV
whilst covering the tennis this week.
Oh, really?
And for people that don't know, who's Dylan Alcock?
Oh, he's an amazing, well, so he's a Paralympian.
He also is an amazing tennis player.
He was Australian of the Year last year.
And a great ambassador for different abilities.
He's got like a million charities.
He has Ability Fest.
Yeah.
He's also the, he has like a meal delivery service as well.
Click on the link I just sent you, Tony.
And this is Tony Jones, who's a sports reporter for Channel 9,
introducing Dylan Alcott to the Channel 9 tennis broadcast.
Isn't Tony Jones the guy that kissed Bec Judd?
And you know what?
I think because of that, he's like, well, nothing I can do is more embarrassing.
Click that video in the article.
As we welcome to the panel now, all-around good guy, Olympian,
tennis champion, star of stage
screen dylan is there anything you don't do uh walk
oh nailed it oh sorry it's playing another video oh god amazing i do you follow dylan
on instagram as well i I really like him.
Yeah, he's so funny.
I don't know him, but he seems like a legend.
When I saw that, I was just like.
Nailed it.
And he knew he nailed it before he even said it.
Oh, I bet he's like, here we go.
I got this one.
Yeah.
That's so good.
Is that your You Love To See It?
Yeah.
Oh, you didn't say You Love To See It,
so I thought it was just part of the tennis chat.
Sorry.
That's okay.
And that was my love to see it.
I've got a love to see it here from Rachel.
Sorry, is this a love to see it or a love to hear it?
Because you need to be clear.
Well, it's a video show, so you love to see it.
Rachel McLean, that was funny.
That was good.
I had my second baby on the 21st of December, so late last year.
Congratulations.
Congrats on the second babe.
Yep.
And joined a Facebook group for other babies born in December.
Coincidence chat.
But I guess it's also just like.
I was not coinciding.
You deliberately went there for that purpose.
Oh, but like coincidence.
Oh, your baby was born in December.
Same.
Like, you just imagine the chat.
Like, anyway.
How old's your kid?
Yeah.
It's ours.
Anyway, so I guess. That's cool because they can grow up together. Well, anyway. How old's your kid? It's us. Anyway, so I guess just to.
That's cool because they can grow up together.
Well, yeah, I think it's also to, like, track milestones and stuff.
Like, you kind of go, like, oh, like, my baby's not doing this yet.
And you go, oh, yours is.
Like, oh, mine isn't.
Or, like, you know, all that stuff.
Yeah, something to judge other kids by.
Yeah, which is exactly what I need.
Anyway, Rachel says, I joined this Facebook group and I found a fellow tarpa.
Oh, nice.
Coincidence chat.
We've both got a baby born at the same time.
And.
Listen to a podcast.
And then Rachel says, and I recommended the pod within the group.
Everyone, welcome.
Amazing.
So if there's anyone here on Rachel McLean's recommendation, welcome.
If you have a baby in December 2023, welcome. Good to have you here.
If you have a baby in December 2023, welcome to the show.
Yeah.
And congratulations on your month-old baby.
Two-month-old baby.
Two-month-old baby.
Congratulations.
Comparing is actually, like, the worst thing you can do.
In all things.
I like the idea because you have similar problems at similar times.
So when they all get to the four month thing
together, because the baby's there
when they turn four months, they just forget everything they've learnt
and they become kiddies again. I'd say it's like better
for support. Yeah, so you go, is anyone else going
through this? And they go, yeah, I've found that if you
do this, you do that. Yeah, because you probably go like, oh my god, am I doing
something wrong? And you go, no, no, no, it's so normal.
But you can imagine the first one in the group
that the kid crawls and the mum would be like,
anyone else is crawling yet?
I mean, I don't really understand that, but I, yeah.
It's like such a dumb fucking thing.
I, yeah.
But I just thought it was really nice that Rachel found, like,
a bunch of people that she can relate to,
and then she brought them all here.
Thanks.
You know, do you remember that show called, like, 7 Up, 14 Up, 21 Up? It's, like, started years and years ago. Thanks. Do you remember that show called like 7 Up, 14 Up, 21 Up?
It's like started years and years ago.
No. So like it tracked
a bunch of like, it was like a documentary about
all these babies that were born around the same time.
And then 7 Up was like 7 years
later. 14 Up,
14 years later. And so
like over your life, it's like
oh, 56
Ups on next week. And it's sort of like, oh, 56 ups on next week.
And it's sort of like, oh, I've kind of like watched these families grow and evolve.
I've never heard of that.
That's really cool though.
And so what I like is like if they can stick to that Facebook group.
Yeah.
Like who knows where they'll be, like when they kind of get older.
They'll all turn 18 at the same time.
You know what I mean?
They can all go have a party.
Because I'm assuming that it's not.
They're all in the same town or something.
No, I'm assuming it's not that.
Because it just says it's for that baby's born in December,
not like baby's born in December in Melbourne.
They could be pen pals.
Well, yeah.
Like it's kind of like built-in friends, isn't it?
Or in Boy Swallows University has a pen pal in jail, this kid,
which is random.
But the person in jail is Briggs.
You don't know Briggs? You don't know Briggs?
You don't know Briggs?
Don't just say the same thing.
Rapper, actor, comedian, I think.
Oh, nah.
All around fucking legend.
Okay.
According to some.
Yeah.
Not others.
No, not that I don't think that they're a legend.
I just don't know who it is.
Type in Briggs and you'll go, oh, that.
Because like I said, there's only 15 people in Australia.
Briggs, rapper.
Oh, oh, yeah, I recognize them.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, saw him at the coffee shop.
No.
Yeah.
Yeah, no, I do know who you're talking about.
Oh, yeah, right.
You actually did see him at a coffee shop that time when we went to Collingwood.
And I was like, that's Briggs.
And you said, who's that?
Oh.
Anyway, good.
Good times have by.
You'll have to see that.
You'll have to see that.
Hey, on Monday, I don't know how to say this without setting Tony off
because I don't want to fucking lose it.
Oh, am I going to think about this all weekend?
I want to talk about, I'm going to call it Trashgate,
about what you do with the trash at home.
Trashgate.
And the difference between being in an apartment like you used to live in and being in a house
like you're in now.
Okay.
Great.
We'll chat to you on Monday.
Love you.
Bye.