Toni and Ryan - Caught Bitching At Work
Episode Date: March 16, 2023Have you been caught bitching at work? And what would you do in a GIGANTIC car? Love ya! Toni xo [USED TO BE VIDEO EPISODE BUT NOT ANYMORE LOL TECHNICAL CHAT]Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/Tonia...ndRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. I'm Ryan, this is Tony. Now we're calling Blade who is in
Brisbane. Now we met Blade a few weeks ago and I'm pretty sure he had a terrible ear infection.
That's right. Yes. Yep. And he was like trying to talk to us on one side of his face.
Yeah. It took me a while to click. You're like, what are you doing? Why are you angling away?
Why are you facing off to the side? Oh, this ear doesn't work. Righto. Well,
hopefully Blade can hear the phone this time.
Yeah.
Hello, Blade speaking.
Hello, Blade speaking.
It's Tony and Ryan speaking.
Can you hear us, Blade?
Tony and Ryan, I can, I can.
I've got my volume crank full in the car so I can actually hear something.
I'm sorry for missing school.
How's that ear?
It's a lot better today than it was at the cinema.
I can hear a bit more.
Certainly not nearly as in much as any pain, but, yeah,
still a bit deaf as you've probably picked up with me missing the call.
What?
No, we didn't call you.
We called someone else.
Yeah, don't worry about it.
It's not the 15th time we've tried to call you today.
Don't worry about it at all.
Hey, Blade, do you approve the podcast?
Of course.
I'd love nothing more.
Yes.
Even with one ear, he's still approving the podcast.
Hey, it's Blade from Brisbane, Tony has committed a crime.
And knowing you're traditionally a stickler for the rules.
Thank you, yes.
This is interesting territory.
This is actually a great way of talking about it.
I think that, yes, I am a stickler for the rules,
and that is I just like to know where I fit in,
where I can and can't do things,
and I found myself in a situation where I wasn't in control
and I fucking didn't like it.
And neither did most of Perth.
Oh.
Yeah.
Okay. We'll get to that soon. Overall, would you most of Perth. Oh. Yeah. Okay.
We'll get to that soon.
Overall, would you say your Perth trip, positive or negative?
I mean, I got COVID, so COVID positive.
I'm proud of that.
I liked that.
That's good.
That was very good.
I think that the important thing about jokes like that.
Has COVID made you funnier?
I've probably got like a week's worth of gear stored up.
So you're ready to burst.
Yeah, because my ego started to really run low over the time
because Torbs doesn't think I'm funny and I was only at home with him.
I didn't have the energy to talk to anybody.
So it's like a tough crowd every day.
Yeah, so I was like getting booed every day.
Boo!
But what I was going to say is the important things about the important
things about my shit jokes is to remind everybody
that this podcast is not scripted, as you can tell.
Yeah, I don't think anyone was accusing us of that.
Well, they won't be now, even if they were.
Glad this is a video show.
Are you fucking serious?
My computer is now.
You're fine.
And my phone went off before.
You're fucking everything's fine.
Okay, now we're ready to go, ready to go.
Oh, thanks for coming in.
Oh, yeah, no worries.
We've actually already started.
Oh, sorry, my bad.
Is it fair to say it's always really awkward when you walk, like,
into a conversation?
Like people are chatting and you sort of rock up.
So maybe you're, like, at work or you're at a party and there's some friends
and you're like, oh, my friends are over there.
And you walk over but they're kind of, like, in the middle of something.
Or when you're, like, a bit of a floater.
Like at a party, say you're kind of, like,
your friends haven't gotten there yet so you kind of try and join in somewhere.
Were there retail workers chatting amongst themselves and you walk in?
And you walk up to the counter and you're like,
I get that Stephanie's boyfriend's cheating on her,
but I'm just wondering if you got this in a size 10.
So do you, Tony Lodge, do you like?
Country road size 10.
Do you just like wait or do you kind of, oh, hey,
or if you just rock up and they're like chatting and laughing,
just like ease yourself in?
I normally just like, so in a retail situation,
if the people that work there were chatting,
I'd kind of just like pretend to be busy because I don't want
to interrupt them because like I get it,
but I also don't want to passive aggressively be like, sorry,
I see you guys having a chat back there.
You know, like a mean mum.
Or you kind of get to the counter and just like.
Yeah.
Or sometimes I'll like pop.
Accidentally make a noise.
Pop like the stuff that I'm going to buy on the counter
and then go and look at something else.
Right, yeah.
Or something.
Yep.
You know, I've done that before.
But at a party, I'm like, I'm obviously not like a quiet person.
No.
I ain't.
Yeah, shocker.
And so normally I'm not.
So normally I'm like not really good at smoothly walking up
and just like joining a combo.
I normally walk up and just be like, oh, my God, hi,
like I recognise you or whatever.
I actually have been to a grand entrance lodge.
Yeah, but just because I'm like if I don't do that now,
later on I can't then like introduce myself.
So I'm kind of like I do it as a favour for like future me.
Because, you know, when you've been at a party. future me. Because you know when you've been at a party.
Party eyes early.
Yeah, you've been at a party for half an hour and you're like,
I've really wasted my like walk-in opportunity to do that.
I actually went to a party once at our producer Cam's house.
Yeah.
And we were standing, like it was in the backyard.
It was this like real cool area of Melbourne like in Brunswick.
And so everybody there like was cool as fuck.
I was the least cool person there.
It was my boyfriend, Torbs, and I and Sasha,
a girl we used to work with.
Yep.
And we were standing there, the three of us,
the least popular people there.
And then this guy walks in and you could tell that he didn't know anybody.
And I was like, hey, bro, I'm Tony.
Because I just hope to pay it forward and hope that one day someone does
that to me at a party when I walk in and my friends aren't there yet.
Has anyone done that for you?
No.
I don't go to parties much.
I was going to say, this story sounds weird because you never leave the house.
Do you know what?
I love a house party.
There is fucking nothing.
No, we don't clap on the podcast.
What?
No, we decided that last week.
Did we?
Yeah, people in the thread said no, I don't want the party.
I thought we decided to clap.
It's fucking awesome.
No, I think we decided.
Anyway, nothing better than a house party.
I miss that so much.
And that's the worst thing about not having lots of friends in Melbourne
is that I never get invited to house parties.
Remember when I invited you to New Year's and you left at 6pm?
Because we had other stuff on.
No, it was a hot day.
We took Pippa home.
We went home to Pippa.
Didn't take her home.
Went home to Pip.
It was a good house party.
Yeah, but, like, you know what I mean when I say house party.
That wasn't, like, a house party.
A party of the house.
What do you mean?
No, but you know what I mean.
What's the difference?
Like, what was that, like, a chill hang?
Oh, I said when we were teenagers, it was like,
mum, it's not a party, it's a gathering.
Gathering, yeah, a gatho.
Actually, we used to say.
Gatho?
Gatho?
In Raleigh's time it was gatho.
Having a gath.
Gath.
Gath.
I've never heard that.
Yeah, because you're 15 years older than me.
Thank you.
You're in dog years.
That was really funny.
Thank you, I'm actually hilarious. That was really funny. Thank you. I'm actually hilarious.
That was really funny.
Sorry, we got some of this.
I go to get Bridget a coffee the other day.
Party, obviously.
How's party?
Rock up and there's no one else in the store.
So, you know, it's usually a three-person set up, right?
There's the person at the counter, the one that does the coffee,
and the one that does the milk.
That's like your stock.
You set up, right? Is the person doing the milk counter, the one that does the coffee, and the one that does the milk. That's like your stock. You set up, right?
Is the person doing the milk a separate person from the person doing the coffee? Yeah.
Is it? One's doing the actual,
you know, the beans, you know, getting the shot
and the other one's doing the milk.
What kind of... If it's busy.
What kind of
la-di-da
places are you going to that are just run about over
the... There's always a milk guy. The opposite of a la-di-da then, if go into that are just run about over them. There's always a milk guy.
The opposite of a la-di-da then if I'm going to places
that have one person.
Not la-di-da.
I mean, like, who's running this show?
It's all over the place.
It's a circus.
Last I've been.
Yeah, that's right.
So there's three of them having a chat.
Okay.
And are they facing, like, outwards, as in into the shop
so they could see people coming in or were they?
So the coffee lady and the milk lady are up towards me,
but the one who like takes the orders,
she's facing away from me talking to them and she's fucking red hot.
No, you can't have your back to the audience.
Yeah, so the greatest sentence you can ever hear
when you rock up mid-conversation because I've walked in
and like it's mid-convo.
Yeah. And I'm like like do I say anything and then I said no you can't fuck me in the ass not far off
but she just goes I wish you'd just tell me to my fucking face
and I don't know what she's talking about. I don't know who she is.
But something's fucking popping off.
But I am fucking down for whatever is happening.
I'm like, tell me everything, right?
I'm like, oh.
Give me the goss.
I'm so invested.
Yeah.
So the other two have then like seen me.
Clocked that you're in there.
Yeah, and then obviously heard what.
And you said there was like no other customers in there?
Okay.
And so they've gone like kind of...
Because her job is the first part of the thing.
Yeah.
She's the register girl.
Yeah, and you know when you kind of have to,
oh, hi, how are you?
In the hope that the person who isn't paying attention...
So she turns around and she's...
She was so into her story,
I think she's forgot where she is.
Yeah.
And I reckon I've picked up on this.
And so she's just turned around and I just went, oh, what did she say?
Yeah, that's what I would have said too.
Yeah.
Who's the bitch?
Yeah.
And she was just, again, still unaware that A, she's at work,
B, that I'm a customer, and C, that we don't know each other.
But because I said it like I was there the whole time, I've gone,
so what did she say?
And then she just goes, she's just such a fucking bitch
and I'm just so over her.
And I'm like.
And then she goes, hang on, who the fuck are you?
Where am I?
Oh, I'm at work.
Oh, my God, was she having a fever drink?
But I think it's like the way I just went, oh, what did she say?
Yeah.
It wasn't like, oh, that sounds interesting.
I was just like, I was in there.
Yeah, or it wasn't as if you're like, oh, drama bomb.
Yeah, exactly.
So she says, I'm just so fucking sick of it.
Yeah.
And then she, like, she didn't say anything.
The other two didn't say anything, but all three had a face.
The other two were like, does this bitch know she's at work right now?
And the one at the front.
And they're probably looking at you going, what kind of customer are you?
Like, please don't be an asshole.
Well, I kind of started it when I said.
But, like, they're probably thinking,
they might have been thinking you were taking the piss.
They might have been thinking that you were, no,
but they might have thought that you were being like, oh,
then what did she say?
Because this conversation is so important that my coffee has to wait
because there's a lot of condescending,
fucking passive-aggressive people that would do that.
Sounds like you've spent a lot of time in the line at Dome.
I just think.
Dome mums are a different kind of mum.
Yeah.
You're right, they have that energy.
You know what I mean?
So they've both gone like.
What's this guy's going to say?
Yeah.
And she's gone, oh, I'm at work, I don't know this guy.
And I've just fucking said, she's a bitch and I'm fucking sick of her bullshit.
And she just goes oh sorry did you so can I get you something yeah I'd love a coffee actually I'd love the tea
hey it's Blake from Brisbane and you're listening to the Tony and Ryan Podcast.
A massive shout out to a few of our champions from the Patreon, Billy Brousseau IV.
Where are the other three?
Hopefully paying for their own membership.
Do you like that?
Sorry.
Do you like that?
Like a junior, a senior, a third, a fourth.
It sounds so incredible, doesn't it?
Like, oh, I'm actually Tony Lodge III.
Like, I think that's really interesting.
It's a conversation starter.
Look at us now.
My birth father, they were all the same name.
And he just said the logistics was wild because you get a thing in the mail and it says your name.
Oh, whose is it?
Whose is it?
Or someone calls the house and goes, yeah, can I speak to Joel?
And they go, yeah, which one?
And he goes, it's actually because I was the same.
So then do you become like big Joel, little Joel, medium Joel?
Like is that kind of what happens?
Well, when he had kids, he was like, this is the end of the line.
Isn't your brother's name Cole?
Yeah, so he went, he had kids and I was like.
So they went, okay, we won't do Joel.
Cole.
Cole.
I want to speak to something that rhymes with Schmoll.
The whole psych, who could it be?
Rosie Berry, thank you very much.
Alex Eder, Sarah M, Jordan Montgomery, Alison Cox, and Scotty D.
Scotty D.
Thank you very much.
The D and the Cox next to each other.
Sword fights ahoy.
Get your condoms out.
So just before we got COVID,
so it feels like we're going back in time a little bit.
Just before we got back from, no, just before we got COVID. So it feels like we're going back in time a little bit.
Just before we got back from, no, just before we got COVID.
So I've still got COVID brain.
We went to Perth.
So I was going over to, because all my family is there.
I was going to see my family.
Torbs and I, my partner, we were going for one of his friend's weddings.
And you and I, Ryan, were like,
well, we've got a few things that we would love to, you know, we'd love to go and meet people in Perth. My book had only just come out like two days before. So we were like, oh, we'll do a
little book signing. And so we ended up going for like five days. And when we, we all got the same
flight, you Torbs and I, and when we landed in Perth, you'd hired a car because you were like,
I'm going to be here for a couple of days, just make things a bit easier.
And you actually can't really be in Perth without a car.
The public transport isn't.
It's not great.
Yeah, it takes ages.
Everything's really far apart as well.
The other thing, though, which I did say to you when we were in Perth,
which is so funny, is that in Perth there's parking everywhere.
Like in Melbourne when you go, oh, we'll go somewhere,
there's probably no parking.
In Perth there's parking everywhere because there's not really
any apartments.
So like there's.
Is apartments what fuck places?
I think especially in the city because it's like if there's 10 spots
on the street, that would normally be enough for five houses.
Yeah.
But then they put an apartment building up.
Yeah.
And all of a sudden 300 people live there instead of two.
Welcome to the social demographics podcast.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
When you like, you know how they come out every year and they're like,
oh, here's like Australia's most livable city or the world's most livable city.
Would you, how high up is parking for you?
Because I feel like parking is a big issue for you.
Parking as in like at my house, do you mean?
Just in general life.
Oh, yeah.
Because it's just, it's annoying when you go somewhere
and you can't park.
Or when you go, well, I've got to park ages away
or the parking only lasts an hour.
So when we were looking for a new studio, when we got kicked out of the radio station we were looking at a few
places and it was like can we park there what's the deal with the parking and that was before like
do you have a microphone um is there a soundproof wall you're like where's the parking well because
i think it's more important because like all of like a microphone can be bought i can't buy i
can't like build a parking space.
Whilst I agree it's important and I agree with what you just said,
when you're thinking about a podcast studio,
is a car park more important than a microphone?
Is it though?
If you were negotiating a work contract,
is a parking spot something that you would be like,
do I have a parking spot?
Yeah, maybe, yeah.
Like I feel like it is something that is because.
Is it fair to say it's higher on your list than a regular person?
Oh, maybe.
But like if I have to go somewhere every day and spend all day there,
I don't want to be going like, oh, hang on, sorry, it's 5-2,
I've got to go down and move my car or fucking I've got to redo my parking
because it costs $12 a fucking hour or whatever.
Anyway, but in Perth there's like parking everywhere
and you need a car.
Because we were going to be there for a few days,
my brother who we stayed with, my brother and his wife
and their two kids, he is a car guy.
Yeah.
And like.
He showed us all his cars.
Yeah.
So we went and you drove us to pick up the car from my brother.
Yep.
And we went out and saw the car that you'd
hired and they went oh mr dunn we'll give you this upgrade because we've that we're out of the other
car that you asked for whatever and you're like yep whatever like i don't care our car's a car
and we walked out and it was huge yeah like you had to pull the car out for us to be able to like
get our car was obnoxiously big this big manly four-wheel drive.
It was massive, like a Ford Everest or something.
Like it was just gigantic.
Yep.
And then you dropped me off at my brother's and you met my brother
and my family and stuff.
Yep.
And then my brother goes, oh, so the car was going to give you like
my nephew had it or something or other.
And he goes, I'll just give you my car.
And I was like, oh, okay.
And it was even bigger than the car that you'd hired.
My obnoxiously massive car looked like a Golf, a Mini.
It was like a fucking RV.
Like this car was.
Did it have a double bed in the back?
Bathroom?
Actually.
Kitchen?
And so it's a Land Rover Defender, if that means anything to anybody.
But it's fucking, there's like a ladder on the side of the back
because it's like to get onto the roof.
Is that a bit of a.
Movable fortress.
Is the ladder a bit of a fucking.
Oh, I don't really.
Is it a gimmick or is it like.
I don't know.
Why would you need to get on the roof of a car?
You know what I mean?
Yeah, I know.
I saw the ladder and was like, are you going upstairs or something?
Yeah, like what's up there?
Do you know what I mean?
I actually don't know.
The car comes with a rooftop terrace.
Yeah.
Yes, actually.
Yeah, a lovely entertaining area.
Anyway, so he gives me this fucking, the car keys,
and I'm like, Jamie, I can't drive this around.
I drive a little hatchback. Yep. And like. I'm a, Jamie, I can't drive this around. I drive a little hatchback.
Yep.
And like.
I'm a Yaris girl.
You know?
And anyway, he was like, you'll be fine.
You'll be absolutely fine.
And I was like, well, I don't even know how to get into the thing.
Like hopefully some stairs roll out the bottom.
Yeah.
You detach them and put them down.
Anyway, and he's teaching me how to use it and like how the buttons work.
And he casually like mentions that the height is 2.1 meters but because he's a car guy he's like
saying all this shit that doesn't mean anything to me anyway let's just say numbers he could be
speaking french or braille or whatever yeah and i'm kind of like is that a brag like is that like
a you know oh well i don't know if you know this but my car's 2.1 it's a 4.0 if you pop the hood
it's got a 7.3 yeah and if you open the door to the back, it's got a 5.2 fucking ding dong.
He dropped a bit of that on me when he was telling me
about his sports car.
Oh, yeah.
Did I do good in just, like, humouring him?
I wasn't really listening.
I was, like, talking to my sister.
But, like, I get it.
Yeah, because he was like, that's got this.
And I was like, fuck, yeah.
I was like, I also don't, not being rude,
but I actually don't know what you're talking about.
Yeah, but I think he was just excited to meet you as well.
And because I think you kind of went, oh,
you've got the cars around there,
he probably took that as you being like, tell me about it.
Okay.
You know what I mean?
My bad.
No, but I think it was nice.
Okay.
But anyway, so you and I ran around all morning and did a million things
and Torbs was in the car with me and we went, okay, cool,
we need to be in the city together at 5pm for this book signing.
And it was like 2pm.
We were like, cool, we'll split up for the afternoon.
You can go to your hotel.
I'll go home, have a shower before we go to this thing.
5pm, I think universally is peak hour.
I think the traditional term is fucked.
Yeah, actually, thank you.
Traffic, fuck, roads, fuck.
The scientific term just absolutely cooked.
And because, like I said, in Perth, everybody drives everywhere.
So it's not just buses and trams or whatever.
It is actually just a million cars on the road.
It's peak hour.
We're rushing around.
Torbs is in the front passenger seat,
and he finds this parking garage
on St George's Terrace.
St George's Terrace is probably the main arterial of Perth City.
So it takes you from like basically from Kings Park,
which is like the inner city park, all the way down through everything
and then that kind of backs you back out to like Vic Park-ish, right?
Is it fair to say every city has those two or three main city streets
and this is one of them?
And this is one of them.
This ain't some lame way.
This isn't near the thing.
It's like this is the one.
Yeah, and because there's like a lot of public transport as well,
there's probably like every time there's a bus stop,
there's probably six bus stops because it's like lots of different
kind of drop-in off spots torb's finds his parking garage on saint george's terrace it's
about two minutes walk from where i needed to meet you uh it's a really narrow entry kind of
like pokey out from the main road and i'm in this fucking boat yep like i'm trying to drive this
fucking building around.
And anyway, there's like pedestrians walking up and down.
There's all these people walking, people waiting for buses.
The traffic is just absolutely fucked.
There's people on like e-scooters and shit.
Just like there could not be more.
Like every man and his dog is like standing exactly where I need to be.
I turn around the corner only only just, like kind of make it
into this entryway, and the parking garage is like down a little hill.
Down a little ramp, yeah.
Yeah, down a little ramp.
A little hill.
A little hill.
And as I enter the parking garage, there's like all these guys standing,
like waiting for me to kind of go through so they can keep walking.
And they like look down the little ramp, look back at me and go,
and shake their head.
And I was just like, hey, just because I'm a little girl
and a big, like, you know, I can do this.
Like I can reverse park like a motherfucker.
Like there's nowhere I can't get into and out of.
It turns out actually that was all the guys. When you say there's nowhere I can't, into and out of it turns out actually that was
gonna say uh when you say there's nowhere i can't yeah i don't think they're judging the driver man
i think they're just doing the maths so is that fair to say yeah so they're eyeballing this thing
and going no fucking way and i'm like nah she'd be right watch it i see the hanging bar thing
you know the thing that's like what's that saying metres. And what are you rolling? 2.1.
Because I didn't even, do you know what?
I would not have even, I would have driven there and gotten stuck.
Like I would not have even thought about it.
So the two of us have lived the Toyota Yaris life.
Where those numbers, who gives a fuck?
I've never read them before.
There's no place a Yaris ain't getting in.
Yeah.
So I'm just like, whatever.
And if Jamie hadn't have told me what it was,
I would have just driven in there and I would have been stuck.
So when did you click that I'm not fitting through there?
After I'd pulled off the main street and was blocking the half
of the footpath.
Oh, my God.
Because I'd gotten in as far as I could go and it was one way.
I couldn't.
So it's not as if there was like the exit as well where I could do
like an 85-point turn and try and get out of there.
There was no way in.
There was no way out.
I'm halfway onto the footpath.
I'm halfway out of the parking garage.
There's about 20 buses.
Everything's on fire.
Is this your worst nightmare?
Oh, my God, yes.
Because even like the cars, you hate like taking up space.
Yeah.
I hate being in the way.
I don't want to be in the way.
I don't want to inconvenience people.
So I know what I'll do.
At 5 o'clock when everyone's just knocked off a minute earlier,
they're rushing to catch their train.
You know what I'm going to do?
I'm going to park this boat across the footpath.
Yep, and fuck a bunch of people up basically.
And also, have you ever seen the show 24?
Yeah.
Yeah, you know how like as it went in and out of the ad break,
it would be like do, do, do do it would be like the timer counting down that was also happening because i was running late
because of the traffic so i'm like stressed about how late i'm gonna be i'm stressed about this
thing i'm trying to reverse this car sorry not car boat this fucking recreational fucking vehicle
back out of this thing 737 and it's got you know
700 cameras on it so i'm like okay at least i can see everything yeah i start to go and then
someone would kind of like run behind the car because they would they were like well what she
fucking doing and does that set the beepers off sets the beepers off but also then they're jumping
out of the way very dramatic i wasn't even moving moving. But there's like buses, cars, people on bikes, people walking,
everything, everything moving behind me.
It's fucking peak hour.
I can't do anything.
I'm like stuck in this huge car and I instead of being like,
all right, I just need to get out of here, I just froze.
And I was like, I don't know what to do.
I actually don't know what to do because I can't go in,
I can't get out.
There's a million people watching me.
And I just started to panic.
Would you say you're calm in a crisis?
Normally, no.
And this was no exception.
Also no.
Because your normal reaction, like fight or flight, you are a flight.
You're a fucking run.
Yeah, I'm just like, cool, that's not for me.
So one time you drove to work here and there wasn't a car park and you went, I'm going home, and you went home and then.
What else was I going to do?
Find a park.
But there was no parking.
There wasn't a park directly out the front.
But your natural reaction is like, I'll just leave
and I'll figure this out later.
Because I don't like to waste time either.
So I'm kind of like, oh, right.
But your natural response is not available to you because they just go.
I can't just go.
I can't just leave.
Yeah, so that's what I mean.
The natural reaction is not available to you at this time.
100%.
So what did you do?
I was like.
And you walked home from Perth.
Yeah.
So I kept trying to inch backwards.
And every time I did that, someone would fucking jump out.
Very dramatic. Like, very dramatic.
Like, I wasn't obviously going to hit anyone.
And the car had 900 cameras on it.
So I could see everything that was going on.
Do you think it's up to people when they go,
oh, she's pulled into the wrong spot, poor bitch.
I'm just going to get out of her way.
Let's give her a sec.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I would have thought so.
If I was in that situation, I'd be panicked.
So maybe I'll just stand here and just go, hey,
what's 60 seconds to me at the end of the day?
Well, so in the end, there was only one option.
And it was me being like, Torbs, you have to get out of the car.
No, you did not.
And stop the traffic.
So Torbs gets out of the car and he stops all the foot traffic enough
for me to kind of like back out onto the street.
Is he making sounds?
Because I would imagine something like this.
Yeah.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hey, hey, hey.
And then as I'm out of the sidewalk and everyone's kind of stopped
because I'm obviously moving, then he walks onto the street and stops the three lanes of cars
and buses and bikes as well because I needed to get out onto the road too.
No one was letting me in.
And I backed out and I kind of was halfway on the pedestrian crossing
because I just had to try and like manoeuvre this fucking boat
out of this tiny spot. And then I was like, I've had to try and like maneuver this fucking boat out of this tiny spot
and then I was like I've got to find more parking anyway I ended up finding another spot and
sprinting to the signing where we were meeting everybody and um and I told like I was like I'm
so sorry I'm like like oh such a drum with the parking now I know this I'm glad I didn't cause
a scene oh about you being late oh that would have been a real shame and then anyway like i fucking i'm in such a flap and i'm just like so pissed off that like
my brother love him to death like he is i love him so much but at the time i'm like what did
he give me this huge fucking car like i was just so upset anyway we get must be it must suck having
a loving brother who just give you a land Land Rover Defender or whatever it was.
So I get home.
How do you do it?
We get home from the book signing, right,
and I'm really excited because we're going to have dinner together.
And it was the day we got there, so I hadn't really caught up with them.
And anyway, I get home.
I'm in such a flap.
Did you give him attitude?
And he was like, oh, how did everything go?
And I was like, oh, my God, your car is massive.
And he was like, oh, what happened?
He's like laughing.
And I was just like, yeah, so luckily he told me how tall it was.
And he goes, where was your book signing?
And I was like, in the city.
He goes, St. George's Terrace parking garage.
He goes, I've been stuck there a couple of times.
I was like.
Thanks for the heads up, mate.
Yeah, thanks so much. He knew the exact one I was talking. Thanks for the heads up, mate. Yeah, thanks so much.
He knew the exact one I was talking about and I was like, great.
Great.
Thanks so much.
Appreciate that.
Yeah.
When I knew you were going to be late, I actually was about to message you
and not thinking and say, why don't you just get Torbs to drop you off
and he'll go park it.
So I did yell at Torbs about that in the car.
I was like, wouldn't it be great if you could just keep driving around
and I could just get out?
And he was like, sorry.
Is he going to cave or is he just going to cop the shit?
I don't know.
I actually don't know.
And every time we go home, his family and my family are like,
oh, I still can't drive.
So he's had his fix of copping shit over it last week.
He's just too resilient for his own good and your good.
Yeah, my good.
Think about my good.
Yeah, you can't wear him down.
I'm glad you've survived to tell the tale.
Thank you.
I do have a love to see it to try and bring us back.
In our Facebook group, Ico Resendiz shared,
you love to see it.
I just got back from competing at the Pole Championship Series,
which is like a bodybuilding championship thing,
which is like apparently it's held at the Arnold Schwarzenegger Centre
and he like goes to this thing and it's just like a really big deal.
They said, just got back from competing.
Money has been really tight, but my fiancé and I prioritise it
as it makes me really, really happy.
I walked in feeling super out of my league.
You know when you kind of walk in somewhere and you're feeling pretty good,
but then you're like, oh, there's a lot of people here
that obviously know what they're doing.
And I felt really out of my league, but I won a silver medal.
Ooh, how good is that?
So thankful for my fiancé, teammates and coaches for making this happen
and pushing me harder to be the best athlete
I can be. Not relatable for me, but I do
love to see it. You do love to see that too.
I don't want to like
downplay what they've done. What?
I feel like everyone that goes to a
bodybuilding contest, they always win.
Oh.
Like is there 75 different
I think there is a lot of categories.
But poor Aiko. But... Poor Ico.
But Ico's dominating this category.
Well, they've told us that they're really excited about this
and you're like, oh, well, you know, it's so easy to win.
I'm not saying it's easy.
I'd love for you to walk in there and walk out with a prize.
If you're saying, like, everyone wins, that enters.
I'd love to see your fucking trophy, bro.
I've never heard of someone going and not winning.
Hamish Blake won.
Oh, so where's your trophy?
Oh, no, that's just a bottle of
juice. Hmm, interesting.
Oh, and a coffee cup and a water bottle and
a little ham and cheese croissant
container. That was yours?
And you ate that croissant.
Oh, don't leave anything for me, mate.
Interesting.
Oh, well, everyone wins.
So if you'd love a trophy, head on down to the pole championships.
Apparently it's incredibly easy.
You know what?
I changed.
That's not even my love to say it now.
Apparently it's so easy.
I've got a love to say it.
Oh.
From Tapa Blade.
Oh, easy to have that name.
Blade is getting the blade and doing the world's greatest shave.
Oh, well, anyone can do that.
Do you know anyone can do that?
Producer Cam's done it.
My mum did it.
Involuntarily, obviously.
I've actually done it as well.
Have you?
It's not about me.
It's so easy.
It is.
I mean, anyone can do it.
They actually can.
Myself and my best mate says blades.
Oh, it's so easy to have a best mate.
Yep.
Anyone can have one.
We're doing the world's greatest shave this year.
The support has been amazing.
So many people supporting us, giving money and raising money for the Leukemia Research.
I am truly terrified about what I'm going to
look like bald and with no beard, but if it
helps just one person, I'll be a very happy
man. I can't even be an arsehole about
this, but it's so easy to just do that.
It actually is easy. So Blade, lift
your game. Blade,
that's what I'll be using.
Shave his head. But
is he going to win the World's Greatest Shape?
Yeah, I mean, is he going to go out with a trophy?
No, Blade, that's amazing.
Aiko, it's also amazing.
Sorry that Ryan was such a jerk off about that.
I was a jerk about it and I regret it.
Well.
I think I was just so agitated because I felt your pain of the parking story
and I needed an outlet.
No, don't pretend that you're on my side.
It's because I'm so empathetic to you.
I just felt bad.
I mean, it's not a competition, but it's so easy to win.
All right.
Well, thank you so much for listening and watching.
I think we need the weekend away from each other.
Yeah, please don't look at me.
I've got something for you on Monday, though,
and I'm describing it as Big Torb's energy.
Big Torb's energy?
Did he direct some traffic?
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
I love that he directed traffic.
Yeah, and he's quite a shy person.
It's not in his...
It's not, like, you know, if you said, hang on, mate, I've got this,
I'd go, yep, that's a Ryan thing.
Did he offer or was he told?
I was like, mate, you're going to have to.
And he was like, yep.
And he jumped straight out.
Like he wasn't like, oh, don't you please don't make me.
He was like, yep.
We cannot get out of here otherwise.
Imagine if I'd been in the car on my own.
I don't think we'd see you again.
I think I'd still be there.
I think so too.
Yeah.
Fuck.
Or just left the car.
Yeah.
The key's in it.
Take it.
Is it worth much?
Well, we'll see you on Monday.
Yeah.
Enjoy your weekend.
Love you, bye.
Enjoy your competitions where you may or may not win.
I mean, it's so easy.
Everyone will walk away with a trophy this weekend.
Love you.