Toni and Ryan - D🍆ck pics in the group chat
Episode Date: January 18, 2022We share some of your 'coming out' stories, and ask a normal or nah about group weeing situations. Love ya! Toni xx Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Faceboo...k Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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That's R-A-K-U-T-E-N.
Hi, this is Yelena for...
Yelena-ed out for today's ep.
Is that what you were...?
I wasn't going to say Yelena-ed out, but sure, that's fine.
Coming up, is it fair to say, this is a broad statement.
Here we go.
There's people in all of our lives who aren't bad people,
they don't mean to do the bad thing, but they say stuff,
they do stuff, they ask questions and you just go, really?
Do you mean like a stupid question or like it rubs you the wrong way
or like what do you mean?
Did you think this through?
Oh.
And coming up, this happened in a workplace where the boss thought,
and this sounds like an episode of The Office,
but the boss like this will be a great idea.
Your boss?
No, no.
It's a coming out story.
Oh, my God.
I thought you meant, I was like, man, I think he listens.
And the boss says, oh
I'll do something to help you
out, to make you
and your lifestyle choices more tolerable
in the office. Sorry? Yeah.
And again, they think they're doing the
right thing. And when you hear what
this boss did,
I'm surprised he didn't go back
into the closet and just retire.
Oh, okay.
All right.
That's coming up.
Okay.
What have you got, Toni Lodge?
I have a normal or nah.
Ooh.
Yeah, so one of our favourites, we ask about, you know, something that you might have come across in daily life,
and we ask whether you think that this thing is normal or nah.
This week's, not this week's, we do this all the time,
today's is from BJoe Ramirez in our Facebook group.
Yep.
If you would like to join, the links are in our Instagram bios.
Normal or nah?
Talking in the bathroom.
Which bathroom?
Like a public bathroom at work.
Yeah, as in like we're going into separate stalls,
we're going to keep chatting?
Yeah, I guess just like keeping that chat going.
I'm going to say normal.
Really?
I think it's fine.
Yeah, I think it's fine.
Yeah, but you never shut up.
I'm a chatter.
Oh, yeah, that's what I meant to say.
Yeah, I never shut up.
Fuck you.
You are a chatter.
Do you think it makes it less awkward?
I don't know.
I just don't think it's weird because it's not like when you go
into the bathroom, it's like, what are they doing in there?
Like you're going in there to do a little wee.
Yeah.
You know?
I think because you know how the guys have like the piss tray
or the trough or whatever?
Yeah.
I feel like when you're literally standing next to someone
and there's no wall in between you, if you're mid-convo,
that can be fine.
Yeah.
But to be sitting in the stalls just staring at the blank white wall and being like, oh, so how's the family. Yeah. If you're mid-convo, that can be fine. Yeah. But to be sitting in the stalls just staring at the blank white wall
and being like, oh, so how's the family?
Yeah.
So this one in particular from Beejo is the stalls.
So they've said, normal or not, I was in the restroom at work
and as I'm going number one, another two workers walk in carrying
on a conversation.
Yep.
So they're chatting as they walk into the bathroom,
which is pretty normal.
They each went into a stall and continued their conversation
as they were using the restroom.
I think it's a nah to carry on a conversation while the stream is going
or is that just me?
All right, here, big factor.
Okay.
Can you maintain the same flow and the same voice whilst doing it?
Because this is what I don't want to hear.
Okay.
Oh, what do you think about Travis Head coming back
into the cricket team?
Yeah, I think it's a pretty good idea and I think it can continue on
and I'd like to see him batting at number five.
Okay.
See what I'm saying?
Yes, I do.
If there's some of that.
No, you don't want to hear about it.
Yeah.
See what I'm saying?
Yes, I do.
If there's some of that.
No, you don't want to hear about it.
Yeah.
So I approved this post into our Facebook group to kind of get a bit of a,
what's the word?
Check the temperature in the room?
Yeah, yeah, get a vibe.
Probably don't say temperature in the bathroom.
Yeah, but, you know, a bit of a consensus. And were people more normal or not? Well, it kind of depends on whether you're going
into the female toilets or the male toilets,
from what I can gather.
Depends on what toilets you might be going into.
Right.
Emma Lang has said, oh, I think it's better, so normal,
because the noise means you can really let that stream go.
Would be weirder if it went silent. So is it more weirder? Is it worse? it's better because so normal because the noise means you can really let that stream go would be
weirder if it went silent so is it more weirder is it worse if you're like chatting about cricket
and then you walk into the toilet and then it's just and then you flush then you walk out and you
go oh yeah but i reckon that if they join that cricket team then the now that you've said like
that that's weirder that is weirirder. Yeah. And you can definitely hear.
The pause.
It's like a very, it's a choice.
It's very obvious.
Kate Collins said, nah.
Yeah.
I hate when people try and have a conversation with me in the toilet.
But for the most part in our group, the males tended to say, nah.
Yeah. Not very, very good, I guess,
because as you said, normally if a bloke is going to a stall,
it's for number two.
But the girls said yeah.
And Emma said, Emma Bob said, 100% keep it going, but I'm Aussie.
We often just use the stall together.
Hang on, what?
Which is actually fucking news to me.
So hang on, who said that?
Emma Bob in our Facebook group.
Emma Bob, a female.
A female.
She has.
We use the stall together.
Yeah.
And there was all these replied comments to Emma's saying, oh, yeah, true.
And especially on a night out, you know, you'd all be in the stall together.
That's not for weeing.
You're not going in the stall together if you just ween.
Are you implying they're...
Potentially.
I think some people do wee together.
I always fart.
And I just, I have to say something.
Okay, the truth prevails.
You've set the story up, You've done the start fart.
Please remind me what the start fart is.
So the start fart, we wanted to remove the stigma
of doing a little fart at the beginning of a wee.
Yep.
As we just said.
That's the place for it.
That's what you're going for.
You're not maybe going in there to buy a sweater
or maybe wee and you happen to wee.
You're going in there to wee.
That's why.
As the funny fat friend of every friend group I've ever been part of, I'm not like hot and cute and going into the toilet and doing like
a cute little wee and it's just like, ha ha ha, wipe my fanny and see you later. Like, you know,
like when you've had a few coffees, maybe your wee doesn't smell great.
Maybe you do a little fart at the beginning.
You know when sometimes you do a wee and it's actually a little poo?
And imagine if you were in the toilet with your friends and you did a little poo while you were doing your wee.
So there's a few friends in there because you're in a nightclub
and it seems like the normal thing to do.
And you're like, yep, just a quick little wee,
and then oops, accidentally pooed.
But it's not cute, especially if you've had a few drinkies.
You're probably doing a little poo.
I always poo when I'm drunk.
Really?
I didn't see this going here, but here we are.
Normal or nah, pooing in nightclubs.
But, like, you can't keep it in.
Well, like you said, you've had a few drinks.
Is your society, you poo constantly.
I'm always pooing.
You get a funny tummy.
Yeah.
But I think nightclubs you'd be like, oh, never, because they're gross.
I don't know if it's just boys' bathrooms, but you would never.
Girls' bathrooms are pretty fucking disgusting.
Disgusting.
I would never.
And that's coming from me.
But I have to, as a girl, though, you have to sit down,
as a vagina-haver, you have to sit down to use the bathroom anyway,
so there's not really a big difference between peeing and pooing.
True, true.
Whereas if you're able to stand up and wee and you could go to the urinal
instead of sitting down, that's probably what you're going to pick.
Question.
Question.
On the groups in the stalls, would it be less awkward, I'm assuming yes,
to have three or more people in there because while you're doing
your little wee, the other two are chatting to each other?
But doesn't the smell waft up?
Yeah.
Yeah.
But I was thinking if there was just two of you.
It's very obvious.
Like you're sitting there and they're just like watching you.
But then I get self-conscious and then do I have to say,
oh, I might do a stinky wee.
I had a few ice lattes at brunch, you know?
Oh, actually, if you mention caffeine, oh, I had a few ice lattes.
Everyone's like, fucking see ya.
Yeah.
But, like, because you know when you've had a few coffees.
You're not a group bathroom girl.
That's fine, mate.
I'm not.
I'm actually not.
I'm actually not.
It's private.
Yeah.
And I don't want to feel self-conscious about my beefy wee.
Shit.
I knew the topic coming in and I didn't expect it to get
as... Neither did I.
I don't know why the word earthy.
It's Emma's fault.
Emma brought this up. She said,
oh, we just all go to the bathroom together.
Well, I feel left out because I'm
the funny fat friend. Are you wanting Emma to
invite you? Maybe Emma.
Where's Emma from? I don't know. Click on her profile.
I can't. It. Yeah, maybe Emma. Where's Emma from? I don't know. Click on her profile. I can't. It's notes.
Oh, right.
Okay, here's the normal or nahs.
Okay.
We're adding to it.
Normal or nah, as you said, going as a group.
Yes.
First normal or nah.
Second normal or nah.
Yes.
Going to the bathroom with friends.
As in like, hey, ladies, let's all go to the,
and be in the same store.
Yeah, that's.
Not in the same, all going together and being in separate stalls is okay
because you're like, oh, the beefy.
I'm talking same stall.
The beefy wee could be coming from anywhere.
Anyway, yeah.
Yeah, but same stall.
Yeah, and then also pooing in nightclubs.
A lot to cover.
A lot to cover.
A lot to cover.
Just a quick one.
Yes.
Just a quick wee together.
Just a quick wee together.
Yeah.
Follow me into here.
Just a quick one.
Yes.
Just a quick way together.
Just a quick way together.
Yeah.
Follow me into here.
When people say the saying, oh, go hard or go home,
I'm going home every time.
Yeah, me too.
What does that – because I feel like the saying's supposed to imply,
oh, yeah, you're not going to go home, are you?
Yeah, it's like, oh, well, you can do a good job or you can fuck off.
I'd rather fuck off. I'd rather fuck off.
Yeah.
In fact, by the time you've said your little spiel about hard or hard,
I've already gone home.
Yeah, I'm in the car already.
I'm paying for parking.
Hi, this is Yelena, and just like your mail,
I cast through Kentucky.
And you're listening to Tony and Ryan. Tomorrow on the show, we have watched Scary Movie,
which is, you know what?
It's still, I laughed out loud a lot.
It's pretty dirty, eh?
It's pretty dirty.
Yeah.
Some parts haven't aged well.
Yes.
But I did laugh out loud a lot of times.
And also tomorrow.
When did you think you were on mute?
And you weren't.
But you were in fact not on mute.
The reading, some of the terrifying.
Yes.
Heart-stopping reading.
Oh, and that's the thing.
Like, we've all had the moment where we thought we weren't and then realised
you were and you go, oh,
thank God. But these people literally
didn't get that relief and they weren't on mute.
That's coming up tomorrow.
And a big thank you to Jess Batty,
Zach Nemick, Renee Dobson
and Duncan White for your support
over on our Patreon. Oh, Duncan White?
Yeah. Is that the guy who chipped his teeth on a bowl of
jelly?
What?
No, my bad.
Are you doing a bit?
No, I think that's... Oh.
Why do I know that's...
Okay.
Big Dunk chipped his teeth on a bowl of jelly.
Why do I know that story?
I don't know what you're talking about.
Neither does anyone.
All right.
Might cut that out.
Anyway.
Someone commented during the week. Yeah. My favourite part is when Tony
says, I'll cut that out and clearly hasn't. Oh, I like it too. And it's always like a little
inside joke, like you're listening and I go, I'll cut that out. And then I don't.
I'm not doing my job. I have one job at this podcast and I don't do it.
A few weeks ago, I said, if anyone's got some coming out stories they'd like to share because a lot of people have
shared some really heartfelt, beautiful ones and others didn't go
quite as well as planned. I think it's fair to say.
Do I use names in this one? No.
I mean, not that it ever stopped you. Lishmanual
says I mean, not that it ever stopped you. Lush Manuel says...
Lush Manuel.
My partner had a six-week training assignment because he was in the army.
Oh.
So he was interstate for six weeks doing their thing
and the training they do for the army and stuff.
And you can't even chat while they're doing that sometimes, can they?
Well, Lush Manuel says limited access to his phone.
Yeah, so.
So it was very rare to even have a chat.
It's not like you're constant texting.
Yeah, like you don't have your phone on you.
Oh, that would be so, so scary.
So as you can imagine, Le Chemaniel and his partner,
after not seeing each other for a month and a half,
were missing one another.
Ready to go.
Ready to go.
Yeah.
And were very excited to see one another. Ready to go. Ready to go. Yeah. And we're very excited to see one another.
Even a week does it for me.
Really?
Like, and not even just in a sex way, just like I'm with Torbs every day.
And you like that?
Yeah, and I love it.
Obviously I do, otherwise we wouldn't be together.
When he was away for the weekend a few weeks ago, did you miss him?
Oh, he was gone so quickly.
So no.
So not really, but, I mean, it feels weird not having him in the house,
like a puppy.
Yeah, he's a cute little puppy.
I like scratching his head.
Yeah, and the top of his head.
Wait, no.
Anyway.
And the rest of his dick.
Yeah, sure.
On his final day at camp, I received some pictures of him
and his platoon mates in uniform.
And even though he's in the army, like,
the uniform still gets Lismanual like.
Oh, yeah.
Boy, howdy.
Any uniform.
Yeah.
RGA.
So I responded with some highly sexual messages
and a few photos of my own.
Oh, Lismanual.
Because after six and a half weeks, he's in his uniform,
he's on his way home.
Oh, no.
Oh, it's just going to be.
Lewis McEnroe.
Five minutes later, I received a panicked phone call
from my partner.
Turns out I hadn't noticed that the messages he sent me
were actually in a group with a bunch of our other friends
and his family and his mother.
Fuck off.
So he's basically said, hey, everyone, here's me in my uniform.
And then Lismaniel said, I can't wait to come on you
when you get home or something.
I thought we weren't reading the exact.
Is that actually what it said?
Oh.
Pretty awkward way for his mum to find out he was now dating men.
So not only was she shocked at the nature of what she'd seen,
she didn't know her son was gay until Lismaniel's Lismaniel
was put in pictures.
She saw Lismaniel's Cocker Spaniel.
Yeah.
I've actually just died.
And some detailed text messages about what he was planning to do
with Lismanual's Cocker Spaniel and what he was requesting
on the way in, no pun intended.
I so really am speechless.
I like this change from you.
Oh, that's not nice.
It's just like a calm.
What's happened?
You don't like my regular energy?
I do like your regular energy.
Because I said about the beefy wee.
Yeah.
Yeah, okay.
Some things are better left uns on set Like this, I think
Like this
Oh my, that is
So what did the mother respond in the group text?
Was she just like
Oh, my son's gay
Oh, he likes doing that
Because the thing
I'm sure that the mother wasn't like
Oh, I've got a problem that you're gay
But the sex stuff is just so
It would have been so graphic to say it
Yeah, not that she would have had a problem with it,
but I feel like the time to have a chat.
A delicate conversation.
It's not, you don't learn via a dick pic.
It's not the best way, no.
Lush manual, rest in peace.
So are they still together?
Yeah.
Like did he eventually meet the mother and go, oh, God.
We've met before. Yeah, but
from the other side. This is the rest of me.
Yeah. Oh.
Oh, my. I can't.
Oh, Lismaniel, I am
so sorry about that.
How unfortunate. But honestly, it does
say you and
six others or whatever in a group text.
That's on you. Yeah, should have gone to
Specsavers. Chris in the UK.
Hi, Chris.
Fuck, these are so hard to read.
I can't imagine you living through it.
I've just got that secondhand embarrassment of like.
Yeah, what everyone else had last week when we were calling old mate.
Of the group chat.
The group chat though.
Even the other friends being like, does he know?
Yeah, and because you would see that and go,
he obviously hasn't clocked that it's clocked.
Don't say clocked.
Don't say clocked. Don't say clocked.
Don't say clocked.
Oh, I actually, I'm so fucking embarrassed by that.
Yeah, okay.
Chris in the UK.
When I was 18, I told my boss I was gay.
Not that it was a secret and not that we were hiding it,
but it's just one of those I'd rather have that chat and move on
because he wanted to be out and proud in the office and, like,
fly the flag and, like, you know, be a representative.
Because there might be other people in the office that are feeling a bit
confused or whatever, but if there's other people that are, like,
advocating kind of for you in the workplace, it's nice.
And then just normalise it.
Yeah, that guy's straight, that guy's not, whatever.
I told the boss that I wanted to be out and proud in the office
and I didn't want, you know, because sometimes people are like, oh, is that guy?
You know what I mean?
It's just so much easier to be like, yeah, this is my mate.
I'm dating Liss Manuel and whatever.
I told a few other people that I was going to be a bit more open about it.
Hang on.
How come we called Liss Manuel Liss Manuel but we've called Chris Chris?
Should we call him Triss?
Triss.
Triss.
Triss from the UK.
Yep.
The boss sort of agreed and was like, great.
I know what you mean when people are like, oh, the new guy,
what's his deal?
You know, like it's better just to kind of make, just normalise it.
Yeah, yeah.
And he goes, great, Tris.
Great, yeah.
So this is like I was saying earlier,
I feel like everything here has great intentions.
Yeah. Oh. Oh, I could die in a hole before I even read earlier. I feel like everything here has great intentions. Yeah.
Oh.
I could die in a hole before I even read this.
Oh, God.
Hope it's mine.
It is, but not the front one.
She didn't want people gossiping in corners.
So this is the boss.
Yep.
So the boss hosted a full office meeting where she invited
130 people on our floor.
And we thought the group text was bad.
Yep.
She gathers 130 people around.
And this wasn't, like, tacked on to the end of, like, a staff meeting.
She was like, great idea.
Intercom.
Hey, everyone.
Can everyone just gather in the boardroom?
We've got an announcement.
You're right.
It is like an episode of The Office that they're like, conference room.
And everyone's going, are we fired?
Yeah, what's going on?
Has the CEO quit?
Is there free lunch?
Yeah.
I mean, what's happened?
And she sat me down and stood next to me and she announced everyone.
What do we call this?
Tris.
Tris wants everyone to know that he's a homosexual.
And I want everyone to know that that's okay with me.
Oh, Mandy.
Oh, God.
I just sat there, says Tris, mortified like a rabbit in the headlights.
What?
There's a deer in there.
Oh, Tris, you fucked this up.
Tris, come on, mate.
Yeah.
Oh, my, that is...
And it wasn't like, not that you would have to announce it,
130, not seven, 130.
And it's not like he said, oh, by the way, actually,
when we had a new person, it was like, oh, hey,
introduce yourself.
And this person goes, hi, my name's so-and-so.
I live with my partner so-and-so.
We've got a couple of dogs and I went to uni here.
Nice to meet you all.
Yeah.
And it's just a good way of like including it in other information.
It wasn't like Tris has got some news.
Here's a promotion.
Him and his boyfriend will celebrate tonight and good luck
with the new job or just, I don't know, something.
And so she just goes, yep.
So any questions? And everyone she just goes, yep. So any questions?
And everyone's just like, oh, no, cool.
And Trish just had to sit there like a deer in the headlines
and just sit there like an idiot because he didn't do anything bad here.
And then everyone was just like, okay, and then just left, 130.
But there would have been people that were called to that meeting
that Tris had seen in the kitchen a hundred times
that he had no fucking idea what their name was,
what department they worked in, and now all of a sudden
they know like a really intimate detail of Tris's life
and the next time they see him they probably go,
fuck, I can't remember that guy's name but I know that he's gay.
Yeah, I know.
Oh, my God.
The few people I had already told were like, is it snickering,
the word I'm like, were kind of just there like trying not to laugh.
Yeah.
They felt bad, but they were like, oh, mate, you should have just not.
Tris finishes his story with, no one came out in my workplace for years.
Oh, yeah, would have done the opposite.
It didn't help people out.
It pushed them deeper into the closet.
Because they would have been like, well,
I don't want Mandy to fucking tell everyone.
Why have we named the boss the same as my mum?
I don't know.
But you're right, Mandy, awful work.
Good intentions, I guess.
Oh.
Of all the coming out stories, oh, my God, I can't.
So Tris, I wonder if Tris is with Lysaniel.
Tris and Lysaniel.
So Tris was so awkward at that job, they quit and joined the army.
And then his mum found out he was gay in a text.
Oh, my gosh.
I can't believe that.
But please keep sharing your coming out stories and your normal or nas in our Facebook group because you'll love to see it.
That isn't my you'll love to see it, but oh, my God.
What's yours?
My you'll love to see is a recommendation.
The game Animal Crossing on Switch.
What?
Yeah.
Isn't that really old?
Yeah, I think so.
Oh, is it like it was a real trad, a real trend or fad like a year or two ago?
Yeah, I don't think, it's definitely not new.
It's been around.
And what, on Switch?
Yeah, the Nintendo Switch.
Are you a gamer, bro?
No, I'm not.
I'm absolutely not.
Well, it sounds like you're playing games.
Well, Animal Crossing is like for kids.
But over the last couple of weeks, because I've been waiting
for the results from all my tests about like my nipple and finding,
you know, and I was pretty.
I just needed something that wasn't Instagram and something
that was just really mindless.
And I really am enjoying playing it.
Really?
So if you're like a bit anxious or you just need something
that, yeah, isn't your phone, because it's still screen time and whatever,
like, go out for a walk or fucking whatever,
but, like, it was just really nice doing something else.
And if you just need something to kind of keep your brain busy
but also switched off, I recommend.
Really?
It's really fun.
That's a good recommendation.
Yeah, thank you.
I don't know if this was the wrong week to bring this one out
because it's cancer related.
Great.
That's okay.
I'm cancer free.
Cancer free.
Yeah.
Thank the Lord.
Very grateful.
All right.
See this photo of this person here?
Yeah.
How old is that person?
Oh, nine months old.
A baby.
Yeah.
Sorry, I thought you were after a more specific age.
No, fine.
Okay.
20 years later, says this lady,
I became a nurse at the same hospital I survived cancer in
when I was a baby.
So now have a look at the girl.
They're the same person.
So she survived cancer as a baby and then she grew up
and was just like so thankful for the nurses and stuff.
Yeah.
And then she was like, well, I want to pay it forward.
And she's literally got her same job in the same hospital
in the same ward.
So she's now helping young little attackers who are going
through a rough time to kind of pay it forward.
And I saw that.
And I saw that whilst, you know, we were waiting for your results
and stuff.
And I was like, it just hit me.
And I was like, oh, that's so lovely.
That's so kind.
You do hear a few people that go through cancer or, you know,
a real health scare and have that kind of second wind of being like,
I've been helped by doctors and nurses and stuff.
I'd like to pay it back kind of thing and either volunteer
or become a nurse.
Yeah, and Tony is not one of those people.
I could not be a nurse.
No.
I panic.
If someone came in and was like, I think my leg's broken,
I'd be like, ah, same!
It looks fucked.
You should go see a doctor. I'm in. Not like, I think my leg's broken. I'd be like, ah, same! It looks fucked. You should go see a doctor.
I'm in. Not me, though.
But
thank you so much, everyone, for listening.
And tomorrow, as
you said, we're chatting about stories when you
thought you were on mute, but you weren't.
And we're talking about the movie Scary
Movie. Delicious. It's one
of the greats. I know. Yeah, to bring us all
together. Considering we all watched Scream about a month ago. Makes sense. And the new Scream's
just come out. So if you haven't seen Scary Movie 1, watch it tonight. We'll chat
about it tomorrow. Alright. Chat to you tomorrow. Yes.
Scary Meowvie.
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