Toni and Ryan - Female Skeleton

Episode Date: November 8, 2023

This normal or nah will send SHIVERS DOWN YOUR SPINE. Love ya! Toni xoCheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @toni...lodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. This is best-selling Dr. Author Tony Lodge, and we are calling Brittany in Ohio. Oh, oh, oh, Ohio. What's that from? The glass company O'Brien. Funny, we're talking to someone who schedules TV commercials. What do we call that in the biz? Traffic. Hello?
Starting point is 00:00:26 Brittany! It's Tony and Ryan. How are you doing? Holy shit. Hi, good. How are you doing? We're good. Sorry, you just interrupted Brittany.
Starting point is 00:00:33 Tony was about to tell the greatest story of all time, I'm sure. No, I wasn't. It's really okay. Is it a great story about scheduling commercials? It actually was a great story about scheduling TV commercials, which in Australia is called traffic. And when I walked into my first ever radio station, they said, oh, and all of these people work in traffic.
Starting point is 00:00:51 And I thought, you need that many people to do the traffic report. Where you are in Cleveland, Brittany, do they call that traffic as well? They do, yes. Oh. Inside showbiz chat. Traffic gear. do, yes. Oh, inside showbiz chat. Traffic gear. Sorry, Brittany. Brittany, will you approve today's
Starting point is 00:01:10 episode? Absolutely. Hey, it's Brittany from Cleveland and I approve this podcast. Coming up today, I want you to think about... My dick, no. Are you all right, mate? Sorry, yeah. Coming up today...
Starting point is 00:01:43 My dick, no! I want you to think about... My dick! I want you to think about where you... I want you to think about where you work. When you saw my dick. Are you okay, mate? Yeah, I'm fine. You're funny here. I've been away from home for a while.
Starting point is 00:02:00 Yeah, you're a bit kooky. You need to cuddle a dog. I do. I want you to think about where you work and I want you to think about the power dynamic between you and your boss. And your dick. And, like, who's got the power in that situation?
Starting point is 00:02:20 Who needs who more and how easy is it to ask for a favour because they owe you one or what are they going to do without you? Because I've got a theory about it and I reckon as soon as you think about it, you'll go, I've taken advantage of that power before. Yep, yep. And this is the area, I think. And I hope people where I study at Melbourne Business School from the HR subjects tune in because this is fucking academic shit.
Starting point is 00:02:42 This is what we need. Yeah, see, that's the thing. I'm smart overseas. No. Okay. No feedback. All right. That's good.
Starting point is 00:02:50 That's good. Hey, if you haven't had any- Should I just go back to the my dick jokes? Stick to what I know. Imagine they go, oh, an academic literary review of Tony Lodge's- Dick. HR theories, but she ended up just talking about her dick the whole time First of all normal or nah
Starting point is 00:03:09 Oh my favourite time of the week I want to do this more than once a week but no one's on board Well a lot of people at the meet and greets have backed you up on that Thank you I wanted you to say it Oh I see how it is just fishing for a line there Yeah Oh sorry Of my dick People submit them in the Tony and Ryan Facebook group Yeah. Oh. Sorry. Of my day.
Starting point is 00:03:29 People submit them in the Tony and Ryan Facebook group. First is Katrina Smears. Hi, Katrina Smears. She asked, normal or not, only turning on your car headlights when you are certain that no one else can see you turn them on. I don't know why, but it feels embarrassing to actually hit the switch. Yeah, I need more help. Or it's like... Ooh, I need more light. But it's like admitting that you needed them on and you didn't.
Starting point is 00:03:54 Yeah. Oh, fuck. You know what I mean? It's starting to get dark. It's getting a bit darker and you're like, oh, my God. Yeah. Oh, fuck, have I hit it too late? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:01 No, I totally agree. Have you ever done it, like, in traffic and you go, oh, I need to turn my lights on? Yeah. Like they're off at the moment and you go, oh, I should pop them on. And you go, everyone's going to be talking about this. Well, that's what you're scared of. Yeah. No, I know.
Starting point is 00:04:16 Everyone's going to be talking about it. Yeah. Fuck. Do you see news.com.au? Yeah. But sometimes you've got to do it while there's people around because you go, oh, it's just past dusk. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:24 Like I need them now. And you go, oh, everyone's going to be talking about this. I want everyone to get their pens and papers ready because they're about to learn something about Tony and her finance team. My finance team. Do you need to turn your lights on? Oh, fuck off. Do you? No. How you? No. How come? Because the car does it automatically.
Starting point is 00:04:50 Thank you. It is very nice. Yeah. Your pet Pippa is eating kibble for dinner and you're out here with automatic lights. She doesn't eat kibble. It's a very nice salmon biscuit. Thank you. Ooh.
Starting point is 00:05:10 Yeah, she's doing all right. Okay. I actually... Has she said the front seat of the Audi? She hasn't, but at the moment, like, Torbs is fucking driving Pip around in the Audi, so she might have moved to the front seat. She'd probably like the seat warmers, I reckon.
Starting point is 00:05:26 So, she's probably- Seat warmers. She's probably really enjoying that. Far out. Now, this normal or nah was submitted in person in Chicago. Oh. Normal or nah, ask Taylor. Hi, Taylor.
Starting point is 00:05:40 After going on two dates with a guy, he invites you over to his house, but warns you that he has a real human female skeleton on display and he's got it in his basement to collect dark energy. Normal or nah? I removed this from my memory. I can tell. And I saw it fall back in in real time. I can tell. And I saw it fall back in in real time.
Starting point is 00:06:09 I said this to Taylor when she asked us when we were in person together. Sorry, I'm emotional. This is just the most fucked thing ever. And I said, as terrible as the scenario is that this person said, like, look, you might not want to go on a third date with me because of the reasons that Ryan just said. For some reason, it's made all the worse by the fact it's a female skeleton same like there's just there's just so much going on that that is just almost like baseline fucked yeah so you kind of get over it but then you hear that it's a female skeleton you go nah mate is he fucking Question. He's got a boner. So I'm boning this bitch anyway.
Starting point is 00:06:54 Maybe she's boning him. Question. Sorry, darling. He's shoving her femur up his ass. He's getting stumped. Oh, they would get brittle, those bones. Yeah. And all that dark energy.
Starting point is 00:07:09 Yeah. It's just the most fucked thing. Is it? But the fact that it's female is just worse. Sorry if this is going to out me just being like a dumb boy. Is there a difference between a male and a female skeleton? I don't know the answer, but producer Cam is nodding, so yes. I feel like he's is different, right?
Starting point is 00:07:26 He's got the dark energy. Childbearing, there's like a slight different... Correct, yeah, during puberty. I guess the tilt on the... Female pelvis opens up. On the pelvis, yeah. Yeah. And things with the skull as well, there's a lot.
Starting point is 00:07:37 Oh, because women's brains are bigger. Yeah. Yeah, more going on, more secrets. Yeah, the most... Taylor, honestly. Brains are going to be holding all the drama. What the fuck? It's holding all the dark energy that we're collecting in our basements.
Starting point is 00:07:54 Taylor, I would like to send my sincerest apologies that you went through that. And you did in person in Chicago. Yeah. And if you could pop in, like, maybe a little picture of that guy in the episode thread so that other people in Chicago know to avoid that guy, maybe that would be our personal, like, our public service announcement. Obviously, don't post his photo, but if anybody inquires, maybe send them a little private message and just let them know who to avoid. Don't swipe on this guy.
Starting point is 00:08:20 Apparently, there's, like, Facebook groups of, like, girls only in Bondi or whatever, and it's like they go, oh, this guy, red flag, blah, blah, blah. There's, like, there's one in Melbourne. It's called, like, help a girl out or help a sister out or something, and it's, like, don't date this guy. He's, like, a serial, like, cheater and, like, he's married but he says he's not and stuff like that. Yeah, there's, like, pages like that.
Starting point is 00:08:43 Yeah. I don't know where i stand on it i think there's parts of it that i i like that i like and respect but also parts where i'm like oh that seems so nasty well if one people like yeah depends what they say obviously but like if it didn't work out for you doesn't mean it wouldn't work out for someone else and like because if you're just real yeah that's the thing he said no he's like fuck this guy I'm just gonna like tell some story Yeah the same way that like Well a boy could do the same thing
Starting point is 00:09:09 Like anybody could do it but I'm just I'm like oh like outing someone publicly It's like cancel culture vibes Yeah Obviously this skeleton though 100% Do not date We can give a cross through that guy We can cancel him.
Starting point is 00:09:25 I think it's fine. Ryan asks, normal or nah? Hi, Ryan. Is this you? If you're travelling with a bunch of podcast colleagues, is it normal or nah to, you know, throw a bit of laundry in the machine together amongst colleagues? I've actually been thinking about this. Really? I think it's totally fine.
Starting point is 00:09:44 Because, you know why I thought about this? It's because I've only got like two white t-shirts. Yeah. But I've got like heaps of like blacks and jeans and stuff like that all can go in together, but my white t-shirts can't go together. So if I've got a couple of whites, then we can just like double up. Are you keen on doing like a lot of whites? I can put our whites together.
Starting point is 00:10:03 Is that okay? Yeah. What about particulars what's the word when uh you're small small yeah no i think that's fine because when i did laundry the other day yeah it was like i had i gave you 20 for that by the way how much was it not much i gave you 20 us dollars yeah, which is like fucking 600 Australian dollars. I could have bought two bags for that. And you washed your two t-shirts.
Starting point is 00:10:31 I actually might struggle to get on the plane to go to Vegas because I'm held down because I exchange your 20 for quarters. You're shaking in there. But I just was like, oh, I'm just going to do like a quick socks and jocks kind of vibe. Yep. Yep. And then when I saw the size of the machine and my like three pairs of undies. What a waste. I was like, oh, we could have doubled up there.
Starting point is 00:10:53 No, I actually love that you're bringing this up. Okay, great. Because I thought the same thing. I was like, this feels like such a waste. Yeah. Let's get our whites together and our blacks. Let's do it. Obviously, you would never combine.
Starting point is 00:11:03 Well, you get sludgy clothes otherwise. Yeah, you don't want that. You don't want that. So, chuck them in together. I think that sounds really nice. My guys and your guys? Yeah. Cam, do you want your guys to come to the party?
Starting point is 00:11:13 Please. Okay. Oh. Oh. Oh. Finally, Pete Holmes asks- Pete Holmes, the comedian? Yep.
Starting point is 00:11:25 Did you ever need to poop so bad that you pee second? So, as you know, I don't know how boys work. Penis havers. I don't understand it. Yeah. Because remember when I said to you, only recently this got brought back up, but that I thought that if a penis haver needed to poo and wee at the same time, that you would have to stand up and wee and then sit down to poo or vice versa.
Starting point is 00:11:57 Well, not vice versa. No, well, because if you're weeing first and then- Oh, vice versa with the order. I thought you meant vice versa, like, oh, if you wanted to. That's what I was like, oh, either way you want, dog, like, because if you're weighing first and then- Oh, vice versa with the order. I thought you meant vice versa. Like, oh, if you wanted to. That's what I was like. Oh, either way you want, dog. Like, all good. You do you.
Starting point is 00:12:10 How upsetting. That's why I was upset. Oh, my God. That's worse than the dark energy skeleton. Obviously not what I meant, mate. I would rather have a dark skeleton than shit. Oh, my God. No, I meant like the order.
Starting point is 00:12:26 All vice versa. All good, Doug. The order. Yeah, it was new that you learned that you can do both at once. I didn't know that the penis could just be like tucked in and do wee-wees while you're sitting down. Yeah. So my question is, what do you mean if you had to wee or poo second or first? Well, like.
Starting point is 00:12:43 Because if you can sit down for both both then you don't really need to choose because it's just all happening i don't think you'd go at the same time but like whatever came out first would just be whatever needed to come out but you don't go oh switch the dial to we i think traditionally you would start with a week because usually you'd need a way more if no but if you were like fucking touching, whatever needs to come out, it's just going to pop right out. What is it for you, though? Well, I guess the same. Like, if I was desperate for a-
Starting point is 00:13:10 Can you dual stream? I actually don't know. I've never thought about- Like, even if it did happen, I've never consciously decided it. I've also never gone, oh, you know what? I'll wait for that poo because I'll just wee. Like, I've never done that. I've also never gone, oh, you know what? I'll wait for that poo because I'll just wee. Like, I've never done that. You know?
Starting point is 00:13:28 Yep. Yep. So, I don't, like, would you have to decide? I don't know. Or do you just hold the end of your willy and then go, no wee-wees yet? Like, how do you, like, how does that work? I don't understand. I don't think I've ever.
Starting point is 00:13:40 Is it like a tap you have to, like? Switch it off. I don't know. To be honest, I just thought it was a funny question and I didn? Switch it off. I don't know. To be honest, I just thought it was a funny question and I didn't really think much more about it. Yeah. Can you pee and poop at the same time, Cameron? No, you can't.
Starting point is 00:13:56 No, okay. It's like having your eyes open while you sneeze. Because isn't it like also after you do a cum. Thank you, Cameron. That was very funny. Oh, sorry. After you do a cum, it's like kind of hard to wee after because you've got to like kind of force it out a little bit.
Starting point is 00:14:10 Yeah. It's harder to pee with an erection whilst you're trying to cum. Oh. Yeah. Oh, but no, it's also hard to pee straight away. Yeah, straight away. But what if someone wanted you to piss on them, like golden shower vibes, but you had a stalk on,
Starting point is 00:14:25 then how does that work? Or do you wee in a cup before? You plan ahead. And then you just toss the piss on them. I think, fuck, this is great. Sorry to the- Our lovely engineer who's looking after us in his studio. Fuck, sorry about this.
Starting point is 00:14:42 Sorry. How's Freelance life going? You can't leave. We paid you for four hours and you're going to stay. You're fucking staying here, I'll have to say. Let's end there. Okay, good, good, good. Great decision.
Starting point is 00:14:58 Hey, it's Brittany from Cleveland and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. Yeah. and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive shout out to a few of our champion tapas over at our Patreon. That's Tapas, Tony and Ryan podcast. Oh my God, you sound like a demon at the beginning of Supernatural when you do that. Thank you. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? Good demon.
Starting point is 00:15:30 Do I sound like I've been smoking? Nah. Nah, you just sound like you've been talking to 500 people a day. Yeah, great. Yeah. Maddie White. Good on you, Maddie. Love ya.
Starting point is 00:15:39 Caitlin Steyer. Good on you, Caitlin. Morgan Pike. Caroline Larson and Lauren Hanson. Thanks, Hanson. Good on you guys. Thank you so much for being part of the Patreon. Absolutely love to see it.
Starting point is 00:15:49 I think that the guys in the Patreon saw my first trip to Walmart. Oh, yes. Pretty good stuff. That was great stuff. We didn't even see half of it in that video either. I know. Thankfully. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:16:02 And for those playing along at home, I did, in fact, purchase that Christmas sweater. Yes, thank God. And it has been taking up a big chunk of my suitcase. That and the cowboy hat from Dallas is one half of my suitcase and all my stuff. I can't believe how far the cowboy hat's made it, to be honest. I'm going to sacrifice some of my own stuff and leave it behind to make room to take the cowboy hat home. Well, after we've done some joint washing, maybe I could just take some of your jocks in my suitcase if you want.
Starting point is 00:16:27 Will I have to declare the cowboy hat going through customs? Have you been in contact with any wildlife? I've got this fucking sick hat. Yeah, well, you tell me. Yeah. I touched a horse. Touched a horse. Yeah, you did.
Starting point is 00:16:39 Don't tell him that. Okay. Yeah. He touched me. We were talking before about some excuses to leave work and the power dynamic between being an employee and a boss and how, like, maybe that could be a bit off. The power balance could be off.
Starting point is 00:16:59 We've been travelling around. We've met a lot of people. Like, I just said 500 people a day, which sounded fake, but I don't think that that is fake no dallas toronto chicago definitely 500 plus yep how many do you reckon were in toronto because someone asked me and i said at least five or six hundred well the line was massive and it didn't go down for about two hours because every time people came through it just and other other people would join it, so- Because even the very last people that we talked to, they said they'd been there for two and a half hours.
Starting point is 00:17:30 Yeah. Which is insane. I reckon it had to have been like 700. It must have been. Yeah. Because it was a phenomenal line. Like, if you were into lines, like, that's a good one. Like, you should see it.
Starting point is 00:17:41 If you're into lines. I don't know. Anyway. Where are we? At Revolver? Nice. So, we've been meeting heaps of people and some of our meet and greets have actually ended up being, like, during work time.
Starting point is 00:17:54 Yeah. Because we were starting them all at, like, 5pm and then we were like, oh, a lot of people are coming and we're going to end up standing in the freezing cold until midnight if we don't start any earlier. So, we kind of said, like, oh, we'll run down a bit early. We'll kind of start at 3 o'clock. A few people said to us, like, oh, I left work early for this, and we couldn't get over the fact that people had not only done that
Starting point is 00:18:20 but we wanted to know, like, how you explained. Yeah. Because, you know, what's a classic like excuse to leave work like i've got a doctor's appointment or gotta pick the kids up or something like that but i think i've got a theory about needing an excuse to leave work and the elements that come into play i think and let me know what you reckon, Ryan, and everybody listening. I think the longer you've worked somewhere,
Starting point is 00:18:53 the less information you have to give. 100%. Like, because there's a bit of trust there maybe, but also, like, if you've worked somewhere for ages, you go, I'm just, I'm leaving. Yeah. Apparently, you can just do that. We talked to someone in Chicago and she goes, yeah,
Starting point is 00:19:09 I left work early for this. And we went, oh, like, what did you say? And she goes, I didn't say anything. I just left. And we were like, oh. And then she goes, yeah, last week it was Friday the 13th. And we were like, yeah. And she goes, yeah.
Starting point is 00:19:24 And it hit 2 o'clock and I said, I'm going to go. And they said, why? And she said, it's a holiday. It's Friday the 13th, mate. It's not a holiday. It actually means virtually nothing. It's just a day. A thing that you can observe it if you choose.
Starting point is 00:19:39 But she's like, yeah, it was Friday the 13th, so I just told them I was going. And this is where the theory was, like, born in my brain. And I said, how long have you worked there? And she'd worked there for 11 years. And I go, oh, God, you might as well just, like, not rock up anymore. Yeah. I don't think they'd even be bothered because they just go, oh, Jess isn't in today.
Starting point is 00:19:57 And they go, no, but she's worked here for 10 years. I go, all good. All good. Like, and it's fine. Have you ever worked anywhere long enough to be in a position where you've not had to explain? No. Because you're an explainer.
Starting point is 00:20:08 No, and I also just love to chat. Yeah. So, if I was leaving early, I'd be like, yeah, got to get a mammogram. Like, I would just very happily give up that information. If you had to leave work at five, sorry, if you normally left work at five and today you had to leave at three, you would spend between three and five explaining to work why you had to leave at three. Yeah, my phone bill costs a fortune.
Starting point is 00:20:29 I'm always ringing you being like, yeah, I've got to go to a doctor's appointment or something, and you're like, I don't give a fuck. Tell me less. But you'd stay to work till five explaining why you had to leave at three. And don't you think as well that a fun addition to this, so the longer you've worked there, the less information you have to give. And if you've lived there, worked there longer than your boss, free game. Power play.
Starting point is 00:20:52 Because you just go, oh, you just started. I'm going. We always do this. Have you ever been in a place where you've got a new boss and tried to smooth a bit of like, oh, no, like normally. This is how it works here? Yeah. Yes. How'd that go for
Starting point is 00:21:05 you terribly i don't know if you remember the place i'm thinking of yeah yep yeah and i'd been working there longer and the the boss previously was kind of like look if you don't fuck around during the year don't worry about putting annual leave in at christmas i'll just give you the full time so it's when i was working in radio and you kind of get like a survey break is what they call it. Yep. And where, where people aren't listening and filling in a book and it's just kind of like a best of is playing over the summer or, you know, you're not at work the whole time.
Starting point is 00:21:37 Yeah. Or if you're at work, you're not on a show, you're just kind of doing like busy work. Yeah. And the deal kind of was for the first two or three years that i worked there the deal was like look if you don't fuck around during the year i won't make you put in annual leave as long as you get down to zero but if you've got five days i'll let you have the whole time just don't fuck around during the year and you don't take the piss we don't take the piss exactly exactly and it was perfect and then we get a new bus and it comes to Christmas and I was already on leave. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:05 And I already had a flight booked to Perth. And the new boss says, well, that's not how things work around here. And I said, yes, it fucking is. Well, actually, that's how it does. And he goes, no, it's not. And I'll see you on Monday. What a C-U-N-T. What a Carla Conti.
Starting point is 00:22:23 Uh-huh. And anyway, so I was like, well, I've actually got a flight booked, so too late. Like, don't know what you want me to do. And he's like, all right, well, I guess you're working from Perth then. And I worked while I was away. Really? Yep. That's bullshit.
Starting point is 00:22:36 Yeah. Did I tell you about when Dave's mum died? Dave Parsons? Yeah. So, my best mate's mum died, and I was like, almost- Fine. Yeah. So, my best mate's mum died and I was like- Mine? Yeah. You're a bit happy to give it.
Starting point is 00:22:50 Almost got there, yeah. Sorry. And so, I say to the boss like, I'm going to go back to Melbourne for a few days. Fair enough. And I was new. I was about three months in or something. But I mean, these are unavoidable situations, you know. And he's like, oh, because you can't take annual leave in the first three months.
Starting point is 00:23:10 Or you just don't have any or whatever. Yeah, whatever it was. And I was just like, oh, bummer. Okay. And then I spoke to David. He was like, yeah, man, like, obviously, first three months, blah, blah, blah. Yeah. But then we were chatting and seeing how he was doing, blah, blah, blah.
Starting point is 00:23:25 And then I just, like, I three months, blah, blah, blah. Yeah. But then we'd, you know, chat and see how he was doing, blah, blah, blah. And then I just, like, went, I kind of accepted it. And then I went to bed and got up the next day and just went. No. No. No. Totally fair. So, I think it was, like, a Thursday and I finished the breakfast show. It was about 10 past nine.
Starting point is 00:23:38 I was like, yeah, so, like, I'm going. Good for you. What a good friend. And I'll be back on Monday. All good. Yeah. Like, and if that, whatever that means for you, like. So be it kind of thing.
Starting point is 00:23:51 Yeah. My friend needs me. I'm actually leaving. Yeah. To go to this thing. And then it's like, and I know like, this is like the brouhaha of the last 10 years where companies are always like preaching loyalty, but they're like never loyal back. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:04 And they're like, oh back yeah and they're like oh we've done this and we hired you this blah blah and i was like yeah well if i can give me two days off and i'll catch on the flip side dog but that's the thing like you like trust me until i give you a reason not to if i'm always taking the piss and i've always got an aunt that's dead or my friends have always you know and then i come back to work and i've got like a glow stick on my wrist different yeah you know what i mean like if i'm lying, that's one thing, but like fuck. But then I was like, even like the day itself, I was like, I'll regret for the rest of my life.
Starting point is 00:24:33 Anytime we talk about Marg, beautiful Marg, I'll be like, and I'll fucking suck it away. I should have been there. Yeah. No, I get that. Totally. And then you know what? I got back and that was just, it was fine. And nothing changed.
Starting point is 00:24:43 Nothing happened. Like it was all good. They just got the fuck over it. But that's the thing. Yeah. Things actually don't stop. Like, I mean, apart from people that are saving lives, we're not saving lives. We're not saving lives.
Starting point is 00:24:52 You know. So, I had this teacher when I was in high school. And I wouldn't, like, ask to go to the bathroom because, you know, I have to pee all the time. Yeah. During class, I would just, like, get up and go. Because then you can just, like, quietly exit and you go, okay, great. I'm not going to make a big deal of it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:09 You know I'm coming back. Because our school was, like. Pretty chill. But, like, a bit of a hippie school. Yeah. So, sometimes people would be like, I'm just going to the bathroom. And then they'd be out, like, smoking on the oval. And then they'd be back for a few days.
Starting point is 00:25:19 That's it. But I think he's just like, yeah, well, Ryan's coming back. Because often people get. It's the trust. Yeah. Yeah. And and it's just like all good well um another person that we met during um a meet and greet francesca she said to us oh um she added herself in that video yeah um but so she shared with us why um how she was able
Starting point is 00:25:41 to be at the meet and greet um in chicago and she said, I actually am supposed to be at jury duty today. You can't fuck with that. It's like a legal requirement. It's like your citizen, like what is it, like civic responsibility to like go and be part of jury duty. And I said, what did you say? Like how did you get out of that? And she goes, oh, I told them I was having surgery.
Starting point is 00:26:08 Francesca. Sorry, fake name. Fake Chesca. Francesca. Like, crazy. I mean, love the loyalty. Love the loyalty. Thank you for being here.
Starting point is 00:26:17 That is loyalty. That is absolutely loyalty. But, yeah, she said she had to have surgery to get out of jury duty. And you know what? Don't they ask for a medical slip? Well, she would need to give, like, she said she had to have surgery to get out of jury duty. And you know what? Don't they check? Well, she would need to give, like, a doctor's note or something. Or be like, yep, had to have my ankle operated on or whatever. Because when you go to hospital, there's all this paperwork.
Starting point is 00:26:34 Can you send an invoice or a receipt? Well, they always say, like, when you go in for surgery or when you go to the doctors, they go, oh, do you need a note? Like, they always, like, say. I tell you one of the best feelings ever is when a generous doctor goes and asks you, the doctor doesn't tell you, they ask you, how many days do you need? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:51 And you go, oh. That is pretty good. And then you go, yeah, I wouldn't mind a couple on the back because I've got some washing I've got to catch up on or something like that. I had this doctor when I was in high school. I'd walk in and he'd just go, how many days do you need, Ryan? Oh, he was probably running behind. He goes, this is going to take me some fucking time.
Starting point is 00:27:06 Have some ibuprofen. I'll give you a night and fuck off. Oh, but like, no, he just wouldn't even ask how I was going. That's what I mean. But then one time I was like, oh, no, I'm actually not feeling great. And he's like, oh, okay, see now what's going on. Yeah. He's like, fuck, I'm running behind.
Starting point is 00:27:20 It's 11 a.m. I'm already late for my 10. So, do doctors like start taking bookings from 8ings from 8am and just turn in at 10. But start up at 9? Yeah, I think so. Yeah. Yeah. Is that how that works?
Starting point is 00:27:30 I've never had a less than an hour wait for a doctor. Yeah. I was supposed to get, have a doctor's appointment before we flew out to Dallas. Yeah. And I cancelled it because the doctor's appointment was at 10 and I knew that I had to leave for the airport at 11. And I was like, you know what? There's no way I'm even going to be.
Starting point is 00:27:45 I'm still going to be in there. Yeah. That's crazy talk. I was like, how optimistic and cancelled the appointment. Everything all good though, mate? Oh, everything's fine. Yeah. Just my arm falling off.
Starting point is 00:27:57 I was going to say, yeah, I was just going to have booked in to get my travel vaccination. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I was just going to book in to, yeah, fix this very contagious thing on my leg. Do you need vaccinations to go to the US and Canada? I actually don't know. I guess like you probably could have gotten like a COVID booster or something or a flu shot or whatever. As you can tell from how we sound, we're fine.
Starting point is 00:28:17 We're fucking fine. Yeah, impervious to disease. It's a great word. Thanks. It's not like when you go to Bali and you need like like, typhoid and hep B and all that stuff. Yeah, I actually don't even know what you have to get when you go. I know that when you go to, like, is it... What's the monkey one?
Starting point is 00:28:33 My mum got attacked by a monkey and she had to have something. What? Well, that's rabies, isn't it? Tetanus? Rabies? Tetanus. Tetanus, yeah. Well, can you get tetanus?
Starting point is 00:28:40 I got bitten by a dog in Malaysia and had to get a 3am tetanus in a dodgy hospital. A tetanus shot. They hurt. I had no idea. Remember when I stood in the glass? Yeah. Well, I punched the glass and then walked over it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:55 My mistake. So I had just got COVID, the shot three weeks earlier. And I thought COVID were like the big dogs. And I was like, oh, well, I'm here. I might as well get a tetanus boost or whatever. And then I thought. They get out a needle bigger than your fucking leg. And I was like, oh, while I'm here, I might as well get a tetanus boost or whatever. And then I thought- They get out a needle bigger than your fucking leg. And then-
Starting point is 00:29:09 Oh my God. I thought it was just a little, there you go, a bit of tetanus. Fuck, that is thicker than a mid-flight hot chocolate. I can't, is it like intermuscular or something? It's like a different type of thing. So it goes right in and it's like a really heavy gauge needle so it's quite big. Yeah, no, and it's sore for a couple of days.
Starting point is 00:29:30 I had to get a tetanus shot when we were, when Torbs and I were moving to Sydney. Yeah. I had to, we were down in the garage. I was there with barefoot, bare feet. Yeah. And I walked on a, I stood on a nail and we were moving house and I had to go get a tetanus shot, and I couldn't do anything
Starting point is 00:29:46 the whole move because my arm was dead, and I did not plan it. That was 100%. I've never moved house, apparently. I'm just always off doing things. Tetanus shots, America. Yep, all good. Anyway. Watch this space.
Starting point is 00:30:01 I've got to love to see it here. Please. Alyssa Grace shared this, and I thought, Ryan, that this would be a great hack for you. Okay. And maybe it might have to do a bit of an Amazon run. Alyssa says, I was listening to the episode where you guys were talking about
Starting point is 00:30:16 keeping, Ryan keeping all of his kids' artwork. Yes. So we talked about how when your kids are painting stuff And you're like I want to show all of it A shrine of shit Mabel paintings Yeah which you know
Starting point is 00:30:31 I hope that I end up with them as well Alyssa says Hanging up in the wall of my classroom She's a teacher I have picture frames with a hinge on the front So you open it up and like put a new photo I've heard about this Someone's told me about this.
Starting point is 00:30:45 I thought it was you that told me about this. Oh, no. Well, I read this and I thought how amazing. This is incredible. I love this. So you open up the front and you just like pop the new artwork like on top and that's like the next one. And then when she does another one, you like pop it in
Starting point is 00:30:56 and you end up with like a stack of art in there. That's sick. And it's always changing. Yeah, and it's always changing. Exactly. I'm going to have it above my desk at home. Ah, so beautiful. I have one for each kid and when it fills up,
Starting point is 00:31:08 when the frame fills up, I put the, I like keep it and then it's just like a whole stack and then you would just like keep all the frames and then it would be like chronological. Should I, I'll get two, I'll get one for Mabel and then can I keep some of your crafting stuff? Absolutely. Put on the wall. I'd be honoured,abel. And then can I keep some of your crafting stuff? Absolutely. Put on the wall.
Starting point is 00:31:26 I'd be on it. Yeah. You won't be able to tell who's who's. But you get them on Amazon. So thank you so much, Alyssa, for sharing that. That's a great hot tip. Because I think that's a really good idea. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:36 I've also got a parenting. You'll love to see it. Ooh. Tapa Tanisha. Hi, Tanisha. Has had a proud parenting moment. Ooh, PPM. Yep. We, Tanisha. Has had a proud parenting moment. Oh, PPM. Yep.
Starting point is 00:31:46 We'll just say that. Obviously, everyone, I guess, hopes and tries to, like, raise a polite and respectful and courteous child. Absolutely. So, Tapa Tanisha is at the zoo and she goes, fuck, where's my four-year-old? Like, kind of goes, you know, just has a moment of a quick, like, where'd she get off to?
Starting point is 00:32:04 Oh, my God, yeah. And your heart just drops. I don't know that version, but I know the kid version of looking around and being like, my mom's gone. It takes me a long time every day. I saw you do the backpack version earlier today. Oh. I was carrying Tony's bag. My heart felt out of my asshole.
Starting point is 00:32:23 Yeah, like, I'm not even kidding. I was like, fuck, everything is in there. Where's my bag? And I go just here and you go, where's my fucking bag? Yeah, because I did the, oh, where's my bag? And then the quick clock, I didn't see it. And I'm like, chest tight, like hot mouth, like everything. Yeah. Your mouth was hot. The PPM, sorry. She's looking for the four-year-old. She turns around and you can see a photo of this in the you love to see it thread in our facebook group um the little four-year-old is holding the
Starting point is 00:32:50 door open for an old lady unprompted and tanisha was just like i've raised this kid right i don't know i need to know how you see a kid with good manners and you're like oh you've been raised well yeah oh and doesn't it make you feel like a hundred fucking years old when you think that yeah but i think it all the time. Yeah, me too. She couldn't find her kid and she was holding the door for an old lady and I was like, oh, don't you love to see that? Oh, Tanisha, that's beautiful.
Starting point is 00:33:12 Yeah, and you can actually see the photo. It'll fucking melt your heart and you'll love to see it. Oh, yeah, I'll have a look after this. That's beautiful. Thank you for sharing that story. Thank you. Tomorrow on the show. Fuck.
Starting point is 00:33:22 Let's call this Don't Meet Your Heroes. Oh, okay. For not the reasons you think. There's an obvious reason why you don't meet your heroes, but it's not what you think. Oh, okay. Because I got to meet one of my heroes. Yes.
Starting point is 00:33:35 And, yep. Things happened, and that's okay. That's okay. We'll see you tomorrow. Bye. Love you, bye.

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