Toni and Ryan - Hankering for a Hollandaise
Episode Date: July 26, 2022I had my period and needed a very specific type of breakfast, and we share your best normal or nahs for the week. Love ya!!! Toni x Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you ...join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Okay, so we've got Aaron Hull.
Hello?
Aaron, it's Tony and Ryan.
How the hell are you?
I'm doing good.
How are you?
We're well.
Aaron is so great to chat.
Whereabouts are you?
I am in Lexington, Kentucky.
Oh, my God.
A celebrity in the male world.
Far out.
Well, will you approve this podcast and all of our future international shipping?
Is it okay if I approve with my roommate?
She has her own Patreon, so don't worry when I...
Thank you.
I was just about to say no.
First question, yeah.
But sure.
Hi.
Who have we got here?
Maggie. Aaron? Maggie.
Aaron and Maggie.
God, you guys are going to be dating in about three years, I reckon.
Oh, absolutely not.
We're both gay.
I tried.
I tried.
I tried to be matchmaker Tony, but it didn't work.
And Maggie's like, absolutely fucking not.
Okay, right.
Aaron's like, yeah, same.
So Aaron and Maggie, do you both approve this podcast?
Absolutely we do.
Hi, I'm Aaron.
Hi, I'm Maggie.
We're from Lexington, Kentucky.
And we approve this podcast.
Oh, my God.
You guys practice that.
We have practiced this for two months.
The second we signed up for it,
two months in the making.
Happy hump day.
We're against that.
Oh, I just...
People say that in the episode thread.
Maybe because they know it fucks you off.
Nah, I don't know.
Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast on a Wednesday.
My name is Ryan, Vice Captain of the Ship.
Our queen, our top dog, our head of the mafia.
Don't.
In this non-shank zone is Tony Felicia Lodge.
Hello.
How you doing, mate?
Well, now I'm bad.
So I put you offside.
Yeah, you have.
I'm sorry.
We're a team.
It's great to see you here and at the gym and at my house and at work.
Fuck, and here we go.
I was trying to be nice and it didn't come across that way.
I think you knew that it wasn't.
Because of my arsehole tone.
I appreciate you for fronting up about that.
Yep.
It's true.
I've got body language issues.
You've got body language issues?
Mate, you can't even speak English.
And English.
Let's not get into the fucking body language.
I've got body language and language issues.
Just language, full stop.
Yeah.
It's all gone wrong.
Coming out later this episode, I need to discuss,
you know when you know really what you want
and you would stop at nothing to get it,
but sometimes it's just not available.
You're on the warpath.
No, maybe the warpath was on me.
Oh.
But I think that anybody listening will know what it's like
when you know exactly what you want and you can't have it.
Is this like when KFC ran out of chicken?
Yep.
Yeah, remember when I went out for dinner and accidentally,
instead of ordering a chicken parma, I got that baked snail?
Yeah, or the eggplant parma.
And it didn't go well for the rest of the evening.
And many people reached out and said,
I totally know where you're coming from.
It happened to me again.
I ordered another snail.
Okay.
All right, that's coming up soon.
First, normal or nah for a Wednesday?
And this one is if you're on a date.
Normal or nah?
Sitting on the same side of a booth, leaving the other side empty.
Tony?
It's a nah from me.
Really?
And is it nah at every stage of the relationship
or does it change over time?
Nah, I just think it's a nah.
I mean, yesterday on the podcast we talked about honeymoon periods.
I just feel like if you're sitting on the same side,
what's the benefit of that?
Because you're both next to each other, you can pop an arm around.
Yeah.
If you're both, like Bridget and I both like the booth seat.
Yeah.
But often I'll like let her have that and I'll sit in the other one.
Torbs always lets me have it too.
Yeah.
What nice gentlemen we are.
Yeah.
But sometimes if, you know, you just want to cuddle up and it's cold
and then you can like people watch and look out together.
Yeah.
And stuff like that maybe.
Yeah, that's fair.
Are you a normal or nah for this?
I think it's also like a honeymoon, like first date, nah.
Because you want to.
But maybe between a month and a year of dating, it's like cute,
oh, we'll snuggle in together and we'll share a bit of a dessert.
But then after a while you might just be like, righto, mate,
we're here to get out of my way.
Mary Beth, absolutely nah.
I have to be as unintrusive as possible.
What happens when one of us has to get up and go to the bathroom?
Yes.
They have to do that awkward shuffle out,
then you shuffle out behind them.
And, like, the vinyl peels off your legs.
Yep.
What an absolute nightmare, says Marley Beth.
Jess says, nah, so cringe.
I hate it when my ex wanted to sit next to me and hold hands
or hold on to me.
Leave me alone. I hate it when my ex wanted to sit next to me and hold hands or hold on to me. Leave me alone.
I need space while eating.
I mean, it is a serious, serious time of the day.
I came here for a palmer.
Not really to hang out with you.
It's fine that you're here.
It's fine that you're here.
But I'm here to get a palmer and chips and a cheap beer into me.
Get out of my way.
I don't want my elbows bumping into you.
I'm huffing it down.
Yeah, I do get that.
You've got to have wingspan room.
Yeah.
Yeah.
There is a part of me that thinks it's cute though.
I think the idea that you have in your head is like what you would see
like in a movie though and I don't think that that's actually really
the reality of what it looks like.
This is the second time this week you've tried to tell me
that movies aren't real life.
You thought that sausages were dynamite.
Well, they look the same.
Okay.
Whilst I'm not saying that you're wrong in any way,
I also am saying I don't want to hear that.
Okay.
I like to think that the world is a movie.
Fair enough.
And that's how it all works.
I mean, or you could just eat at home on the couch.
That's an option.
Avoid this whole issue.
Yeah.
This is from Ashley Coombs.
Normal or nah, Vegemite on pancakes?
I'm going to say nah because I've never done it.
But it wouldn't be bad, I guess. I reckon, yeah,
a bit of butter and a bit of Vegemite on a pancake
would be delicious. The only risk would be
would be ripping
the pancake when you're trying to spread
it. You just tear the thing
in half. Ashley says normal. She goes, I fucking
love it. That's all I want if I ever have pancakes.
Vegemite. Vegemite. And she says I have
pancakes on the weekend when they're at home.
For breakfast, if they go out for breakfast you're like, oh, get the pancakes. Do you guys have Vegemite. Vegemite. And they have pancakes on the weekend when they're at home. Yeah. For breakfast. If they go out for breakfast, you're like, oh, get the pancakes.
Do you guys have Vegemite?
Because now you can get like, you know, a berry brulee.
Oh, yeah.
And a fancy drizzled honey and maybe even a honeycomb, dare I say it.
And imagine all those options and going.
Got any Vegemite?
Any Vegemite on that, Doug?
Yeah, the spreading I feel would be an issue.
But, you know, what you could do is just put your knife in some hot water
to make, like, your knife hot so that it would be a bit easier to spread
and it wouldn't rip up.
That's good advice.
Thanks.
That is good advice.
Tony's Cooking Channel.
I'm just trying to imagine the taste in my mouth because often pancakes
are, like, on the sweeter side but I
really like having um pancakes like with like you know when you go out and they do like bacon and
pancakes or like chicken and waffles or the Canadian sort of stuff yeah well I think that
maybe is the appeal of the Vegemite so you got the sweet pancake and the salty Vegemite so the
contrast is like delicious I really like Vegemite, so I'm absolutely not knocking it.
But, yeah, that sounds, it's, I'm just trying to like,
you know when you just can't really put your finger
on what it would taste like?
This fucks me off.
Oh, okay.
Normal or nah?
Setting your alarm for 6am while on holidays
to reserve the best sun lounges by the pool for the day.
My dad, the person who's commented this, gets up at 6am,
put the towel down on four of the front row spots,
then comes back to the bed knowing we'll have prime seating
for after breakfast.
Get a fucking life.
That annoys me because then for anybody that doesn't,
and I'm pretty sure that at most hotels and stuff it says
you can't reserve chairs.
Because they know that there's snakes like this.
So that people don't do that.
And it's unfair because then if you don't do that,
then you never get a good, like there's no chance
of you getting a good spot.
Yeah.
But it's the culture of hustling a good seat early.
It's like we're on holidays.
Yeah, take a chill.
The point of me being here is not setting an alarm.
I totally agree.
If I'm setting an alarm, I'm not on holidays.
You know what fucking kills me?
Go on.
It's almost over.
When you go on holiday and the buffet breakfast is like till 9 o'clock.
Fuck no.
So you know that you're going to have to wake up at like quarter to eight
so that you can get down there and still.
I know. And if you go there right before it ends,
normally they're like running out of eggs, running out of bacon,
not doing any more toast or whatever.
They're cleaning up around you.
Yeah, and then you're like, I can't even enjoy this.
So I'm going on holiday.
I obviously want to enjoy the buffet breakfast because the best part
about it is that you eat a massive buffet breakfast
and you don't need any lunch.
You eat a pizza, like a little pizza by the pool at like 3 or 4 o'clock
and then you have dinner at like 8pm.
Yeah, because you're on holidays.
And it's fucking awesome.
But I would actually like to begin a campaign to make hotels
put the buffet breakfast later, just a bit later,
because I want to still enjoy a sleep in and be like, cool,
if I can wake up at nine and still know that I've got a couple
of hours of egg time, that's pretty good.
I'm going to put it out there.
Yeah.
Instead of closing the buffet breakfast at nine,
what if it opened at nine and closed at one?
There, I fucking said it.
I like that.
Do you think it's so that people don't eat it for lunch?
I mean, they can eat it. What's the fucking difference? Yeah, exactly. But you're on holidays.
When you wake up slow, have a coffee. I'll have breakfast in an hour or so.
I don't need to get up straight away and start eating. And because often in a hotel they've got coffee
facilities or whatever. I love getting up and having a coffee in bed, as we know. I can't be
trusted at home. Do it in someone else's bed. That's okay.
That's okay. I'm paying for fresh sheets every day. Do it in someone else's sheets. Do it in someone else's bed. That's okay. Someone, you know, that's okay. I'm paying for, you know, fresh sheets every day.
Do you remember that time when for my wife Bridget's birthday
we booked that fancy hotel room?
Yep.
And you and Torbs came around, a few of my mates,
we all had some beers and wine.
Some pizza.
We had a pretty good night.
Yeah.
Did you know that you can drink in the pool there as well?
Tony's mocking me because I learnt that you can drink beers
in the hotel pool and I did lots of that
and in my drunken state felt the need
to tell every man and his dog 15 times.
About 20 times. Did you know you can drink in the pool?
Yeah. You can drink in it.
Yeah, and then someone would rock up and they'd be like
oh Ryan, you been drinking? He's like yeah, you can drink
in the pool.
To be fair, when they came over
everyone was dressed nice and I was still in a robe
and my board shorts.
I'm sorry, I've just come out of the pool.
You can drink in it.
Yeah, you can drink out there.
It's pretty good.
Can people please comment in the episode thread that that actually is a fucking good thing worth saying 100 times?
Yeah.
Because it was great.
And they serve you in a little plastic cup so you're sitting in the pool.
I mean, it is fantastic.
We got a Pimms jug in the pool.
In the pool!
This is literally what it was like.
Anyway, yes, continue.
So because we had a pretty big night and then you guys all left
about midnight or 1 o'clock, Bridget and I were like,
oh, we're not just going to leave like a glass of wine
in the bottom of that bottle.
Of course.
You know, just have a bit of a nightcap.
And because it was just the two of you, you're like,
one more drink.
Yeah, one more drink, have a few snacks, whatever.
And then we had to book in.
You couldn't just rock into the buffet breakfast when you woke up.
You had to like book.
And they're like, oh, well, the only booking left is like 7.40.
What?
So you're telling me I've got to wake up in six hours?
This is a holiday.
I will be there at 2pm.
Yeah.
I want eggs at 11.
Yeah, not 7.40.
And I want a pot of tea and I want a fresh fucking coffee
and I want your fruit and your pastry and all your shit,
but I just want you to shift it back a little bit.
I'm still going to be drunk at 7.40.
Unless you want me telling your barista you can drink in the pool,
you probably don't want me there either.
I shouldn't have to make a choice between buffet and sleep in.
I shouldn't.
And no one should.
I'm doing this for the benefit of everyone in the world
Yeah you are
I'm with you, let's start a campaign
Gofundme.com
Slash late buffet breakfast
Gofundme, money's not going to help us
We'll hire a campaign manager
Because then when people go
Why don't you just then go to the cafe
It's not a buffet
And also I paid for the buffet when I go to the cafe? It's not a buffet!
And also, I paid for the buffet when I signed up to this hotel.
It's a different experience.
It really is.
Yeah, those little sausages.
Still wearing the slippers from upstairs.
Yeah, you don't get those little sausages anywhere else, do you?
No, you don't.
Get some more chipolatas.
Fucking, do you know, can you actually just go to a buffet breakfast?
Like.
Just book in?
Yeah.
Probably.
We should do that.
Haven't had enough small sausage at home?
Come and get some small sausages here.
Final normal or nah, and this is a controversial one.
Ooh.
Normal or nah?
Sniffing your pet and enjoying it.
Normal.
Sorry, Niamh? Normal.
100%.
Sophie has messaged through.
You're really feeling something.
Yeah.
I only started doing this about a year and a half ago
when I discovered in many cultures you sniffing as a form of affection.
I even remember my dad sniffing my head when I was a baby
as a kid as a way that he showed that he loved me.
So I decided to start doing the same with my precious little lady cat because I love her so
much now it's gotten to the point where I just shove my face in her belly and take in a big
am I normal or am I a freak I can confirm because there's hundreds of comments on this thread
of other people going, I thought I was the only one.
90% of pet owners love to smell their pet and it doesn't smell
of hot puree or roses.
It's got a bit of, you know, a bit of realness in it,
but it's like is it kind of pheromone territory almost?
I was about to say we were talking about how you like the smell
of your partner after they've done a workout or been at work, whatever.
It's not like pongy.
It's like a smell that you like.
There is nothing better than shoving, like snuggling a dog
and like sniffing their head or like.
Do you sniff BJ's head?
Yeah, I did it the other day when I was at your house.
You know when like you sniff a dog's paws and they smell a bit like Doritos?
That cheesy toe jam.
You know that?
You know that smell?
And it smells like it's yak and it's like, bleh, I love it.
I'm not trying to add anyone here, so I'll change their name to Shmaria.
Okay, well, I just talked about the fucking dog's toe cheese.
Except Tony's toe cheesing.
I've only just realised that I've been doing it,
and I've been doing it for years, says Shmaria.
It was almost like an unconscious habit,
and it wasn't until she read the thread that she went,
oh, I don't, oh, no, I do do that.
Shmaria, welcome.
Welcome, Shmaria.
Oh, it's just like, you know, when you look at,
I was just saying this to my mate the other day,
John the cat from down a couple of houses away from me,
she comes and she like rolls around and is all cute in my balcony.
I can't touch her because I'm allergic.
I love her so much that when I look at her, I actually feel sick.
Because you want to get up.
Because I love her so much.
And she just wanders over.
And I was saying it to my mate and she was like,
I said that to my mum once that I love this cat so much
that I want to just bite it or rip its arms off.
I love it so much.
What is that?
And her mum went, that's love.
Isn't that special?
That is special.
You know when you just love something so much,
you're like, oh, I just want to bloody bite your bum.
We know that.
You know when you're just like.
Okay.
We've really touched a nerve with Tony here.
You know that John's owner listens to this podcast, don't you?
I know what we can do.
What?
Let's get you like a Breaking Bad-esque hazman suit.
So that I could just go out there and snuggle her?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think I'm going to have to.
Full PPE, gloves.
Because literally when I look at her and she just rolls around,
she's all cute, I just want to throw up.
She's so fucking cute.
I love her so much.
A box of antihistamines.
Yep.
Take half before she comes over, half after.
I'll probably pass out.
Non-drowsy.
Non-meowsy.
Hi, I'm Aaron.
Hi, I'm Maggie.
We're from Lexington, Kentucky.
And you're listening to Tony and Ryan.
A massive thank you to a few of our champion-tapions from the background.
Andrew Johnson, Clee Tamez, Matt Allen.
Matt Allen?
He's a big tapper.
Yeah.
Emma, Emily Chatterton, Grace Miller, Chloe Boer, Renee Nook.
Thank you so much.
Keely, Ryan Fielder, Socialite.
That's all the information we have.
It's like Cher.
And Aaron Lopez Rubio.
Thank you so much for being part of our Patreon.
Fucking love to see it.
It's actually weird when you hear the word Matt Allen
because it's just Rick name.
Rick name.
I know.
So I don't know why they've put, there's someone that's put in socialite,
but Matt Allen didn't use their Rick name.
Yeah, weird.
Really fucking strange.
Hey, tomorrow on the show,
we decided we were going to watch Claymation movies this week
and Chicken Run was the winner.
Yep.
I'd never seen it before.
I can't believe you've never seen it.
Neither.
And can I tell you something that's like really weird?
You sure you don't want to save it for tomorrow?
No, no.
When we're talking about the movie?
No, now?
Okay.
The bad farmer lady.
Yeah, Mrs Tweedy.
She looks like someone I used to work with.
Oh.
I'll tell it work with. Oh. I'll tell Tony.
Oh.
Oh.
Can you see it?
Yes.
Yeah.
So the whole movie threw me because I'm like, I just kept.
From like years ago.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Anyway, tomorrow, not only will Tony be, you know, doing a wrap of the movie,
like wrapping it up, but she'll be wrapping.
I will be. Tea Lodge 2022. That's coming at you. Yeah. To muzzah. Not only will Tony be, you know, doing a wrap of the movie, like wrapping it up, but she'll be rapping.
I will be.
Tea Lodge 2022.
That's coming at you.
Yeah.
Tomasa.
Whoa.
Luckily I'm doing it, not you.
That's tomorrow on the show.
Earlier in the episode I mentioned that, you know,
when you're in that space where you just, you know exactly what you want and you can't get it
and it's just a bit of a fucking nightmare.
Yeah.
So last weekend I had my period.
I was very tired.
I was very stressed.
I was very period and I was just not in a good way.
So what's your go-to when you're in a, we'll call it a funk almost?
Oh, yeah.
I guess. What's your pick me up? What's your go-to when you're in a, we'll call it a funk almost? Yeah, I guess.
What's your pick me up?
What's your cheer me up?
I really just feel like I need to recharge.
And then sometimes I misconstrue that when like I,
because you mentioned literally this week that you're a bit of an introvert.
Yeah.
As an extrovert, I get energy from seeing other people
and like being funny and like I suck energy from others.
I'm like it's a bit evil actually, but I get a lot of energy
from other people.
And so I felt really shitty and normally my default would be
lay on the couch, fucking forget the outside world exists.
But the reality is you need the opposite of that.
I actually need the opposite.
And this is something that at 28 I'm learning now,
that when I'm actually really tired, obviously there are times
when I'm like, oh, I just need to do nothing, talk to nobody, watch TV.
But I actually get so much out of other people.
Yeah.
Anyway, my mate Jane and her partner Darcy,
they live in like a couple of suburbs over from us. Yep. and they were like, oh, we should go out for breakfast.
We were like, oh.
Perfect.
Lovely.
Exactly what I need.
We were just talking about how much I love going out for breakfast.
It was not a buffet, but I was just like, you know what,
that actually sounds really, really nice.
Lovely breakfast, some other people, different environment,
get out of the house.
Exactly.
Exactly what I need.
Some fresh air like we parked there and then walked like around the block.
Like, you know, it was really nice.
Lovely.
Except I, in my mind, you know when you go out for breakfast,
there's only like a certain amount of options that really exist.
Yeah.
Like, you know that on the menu is going to be eggs on toast,
eggs however way you want them kind of thing on toast,
add bacon, whatever.
Eggs Benedict with like a big hollandaise on it,
probably like a chilli scrambled eggs.
Probably a smashed avo.
A smashed avo.
A bit of lime.
And then probably there's going to be one really big sweet dish
like a pancakes or waffles or something like that.
So wherever you go out for breakfast, you kind of know what you're going to get.
In my mouth, the taste that I wanted, you know when you kind of get,
you're like I know the taste I want in my mouth, I really wanted eggs Benedict.
Yeah, you got to hankering for that hollandaise sauce.
I wanted the hollandaise.
I was like I've got, I'm menstruating, I need the butter in my mouth.
Like that's just, I just needed this.
I just knew exactly what I wanted.
In WA, there's this chain of cafes called Dome.
Oh, Dome.
Would you say it's like the Starbucks of Western Australia?
Actually, fucking nail on the head.
It's just this chain.
It's like, it's not awesome.
It's not shit.
It's just, but you all, it's so consistent.
It's always there.
You know exactly what you're going to get.
It's on every sixth corner.
It's a similar green to Starbucks.
You walk in, the menu's the same everywhere,
and they've always got whatever you want.
Fucking yes.
Shout out, pour one out for Doan.
I'm so, oh, this has made me so happy that you know exactly
what I'm talking about.
Dome me up, dog.
I'm a fan.
I fucking, I miss Dome so much.
Yeah.
Like I actually.
And they miss us.
Oh, yeah.
I can't believe they haven't gone into receivership since we moved away.
If you are visiting WA, I implore you to go to Dome.
It's so shit, but it's so fucking
good. I love it so much.
Well, you do love organised,
consistent, all the things you
associate with Tony, you associate with the
Dome brand. So if I'm going to Dome, I know exactly
what I'm going to get. Shout out to their brand manager.
You fucking nailed the experience.
If you could open a Dome in Melbourne,
I would literally go every weekend.
Yep.
I fucking love it.
It's so consistent.
Anyway, so we're talking about going out for this place in fucking this kind of cool area of South Melbourne.
Ooh, yeah.
Rich Enders.
Yeah.
And anyway, so we drive over there and I'm like, fuck yeah, I'm going to get Eggs Benedict because I need
the fucking hollandaise.
Anyway, we sit down, we're chatting, whatever, we get the menu.
The Eggs Benedict that's on the menu is with a fucking
apple cider bearnaise sauce.
Right-o.
Yeah, and in case you missed that, that's not the same word
as hollandaise.
No, bearnaise. Is it similar? It's kind of similar but it case you missed that, that's not the same word as hollandaise. No, it's not.
Is it similar?
It's kind of similar, but it's not as rich and it's not as creamy
and it was like apple cider vinegar.
And it's also not what you wanted.
It's not what I wanted.
And let me take a moment to acknowledge that I had a very specific taste
desire in my mouth, but I would have settled for any Eggs Benny.
If it's not hollandaise on something, fucking throw it on a plate.
I'm done.
So once you've decided that this is what you want
and you've looked at the menu, what is your first reaction?
How deep into your soul are you feeling this reaction?
I felt it in my arsehole.
Like literally the soles of my feet.
Like I thought that my toes were going to fall off.
Every hair on my body stood on end.
Like the way that the world crashed around me, I'm sitting there,
all I fucking wanted was an Eggs Benedict.
Did you turn white and start sweating?
Like I feel like this is a full body.
I just, I was seeing, and then Jane goes, oh,
the chilli scrambled here is really, really good.
Also not what I need to hear right now.
What I need to hear is where's a cafe nearby?
She just didn't understand that I was going through this silent trauma
of there not being any Hollandos.
If you told this story pre me being there for the Parmageddon,
I probably also wouldn't understand.
Yeah.
No, no, and it's not anybody else's job to understand.
But now that I have been with you in these moments,
now that I understand the backstory of that you had your mindset on this,
I understand completely that there is no, oh, this other thing.
Oh, here's a great idea.
No.
Doesn't matter.
No, no.
Because my mouth decided what it wanted to eat. This is why she's a danger in a club, by other thing. Oh, here's a great alternative. No. Doesn't matter. No, no. Because my mouth decided what it wanted to eat.
This is why she's a danger in a club, by the way.
Anyway, I had the chilli scrambled.
Really?
You didn't even go with the mayonnaise?
No, because I was like, it's just going to be close.
It's not going to be it.
So let me get something totally different.
The eggs were lovely, so that was fine.
But it was not what I wanted.
On the way home.
Did you eat all of the Chili's Gamble?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like I ate the breakfast.
So it's fair to say like you're not hungry.
No, no, no, no, no.
And this is actually probably not where this story is going.
After that, Torbs and I were like, we'll go to the market
and do all of our food shopping together.
So I'm already like fucking emotional.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. We get to the
market. I go
cool, like
do you have the shopping list? Like what end do you want to
start at? And Torbjorn goes
oh, I didn't do a list. I thought
we'd just figure it out.
Has he met you?
Apparently
not. Your partner
Torbjorn, the heir to the Tor Barone fortune.
You've been doing each other for nine, dating for eight.
Has he met you before?
I'll just figure it out.
Also, if he could have let me know this,
I would have put it in Monday's episode of Flap Tony.
That's fine.
Does he know you?
I could have killed him.
Surprised he's still alive.
I'm menstruating.
Is he alive?
I didn't get my dime fucking breakfast.
And then he tells me that we're just going to figure out the shopping.
Figure it out?
Anyway.
The only thing you've got to figure out is how I'm going to murder you.
So we walk into the market.
He's like, where do you want to?
At Prayer Market.
There's no obvious direction to go.
Everything's just like randomly.
It's just kind of around.
Yeah.
Oh, no.
And I go, cool. So where do you want to start?
He goes, I don't know.
And I was like, we're leaving.
Parking is a bit tricky.
So you've already parked.
We walked in.
I said, where do you want to start?
He said, I don't know.
And I said, we're leaving.
Get back to the fucking car.
So he got back and I hadn't cried yet.
I wanted to.
The tears were flowing on the inside.
The sentence, I hadn't started crying yet,
is one of the more leading sentences you'll hear.
Because you know it's coming.
So hang on.
So did he just accept that or did he try to go, oh, no.
He was like, sweetie, that's fine.
Let's go.
Okay, he does know you.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
He played it well.
Forgiven the circumstance.
He remembered who he'd been with for the last nine years.
So we got home and obviously,
because I didn't say anything about wanting the Holland A's.
I just, I literally was just like, but I was obviously off
and I wasn't happy.
Anyway, we got home and Torbs was like, are you okay?
Like, what's going on?
And I was like, And I burst into tears.
And revealed your desperation for a Holland A's.
And I was like, all I wanted was the eggs benedict from time.
And I had to have the chili eggs.
And then you didn't have the shopping list.
And then it's.
And now we haven't done the food shopping and we're at home
and none of us have done the shopping.
How does he react to that?
What does he do?
He goes, do you want me to make you a cup of tea?
I was like, that would be really nice.
That would be nice.
Anyway, so he makes me a cup of tea.
He goes into the other room.
Do you want a sugar?
No, I want a hollandaise.
Yeah, I want a fucking dime.
Buy me a plane ticket to Perth so I can go to dime.
Yeah.
He goes into the other room and I get a ding dong on my phone.
I get this message from Torbs.
You know that meme of that ginger kid who's like,
feel like pure shit, just want her back?
No.
And it's like that kid, anyway, Torbs made this meme,
feel like pure shit, just want dome.
And it's this, it's him crying.
And I was literally on the couch in my hoodie,
like having a fucking identity crisis over just wanting the hollandaise
and he just sent me this meme.
And it did really cheer me up.
It did help.
But I'm still on the hunt.
So what I would like to ask, though, is if anybody knows,
maybe people from Perth who know what I'm talking about in Melbourne
have found a good equivalent.
You know you can buy a jar of hollandaise from Coles? Yes, I do know that. what I'm talking about in Melbourne have found a good equivalent. Fucking.
You know you can buy a jar of hollandaise from Coles?
It's not the same.
Yes, I do know that.
It's not the same.
I actually agree it is not the same.
It's not the same.
I don't know what they're doing, but it's good.
If anybody has had a hollandaise like they have had at Dome in Melbourne,
please tell me.
I will drive anywhere.
It does not have to be in the city. I will drive anywhere
except to WA for
this Holland Days.
But also if you've cried over your breakfast recently
then I see you and I'm here for you.
I'll say
let me take this mission on.
As a fellow Holland Days
fan and someone who understands
when you need it, you just need it.
We'll sort something out.
I appreciate this.
Can we call it Tony and Ryan's Happy Holland Days?
Yeah, or the...
Yes!
Holland Days holiday.
No.
No, I like yours better.
Holland Days is like holidays.
Gotcha.
Like, happy holidays, happy Holland days.
Beautiful.
Let's go to the salvo.
What are you doing today?
Fucking fun in the Holland days.
Yeah, good.
What do you love to see?
Oh, this is what I love to see.
This is heartwarming.
You know some restaurants, mainly like a family restaurant,
that they'll have the tablecloth is like paper and there's like crayons?
Oh, yeah.
So I don't know if it's a COVID thing or just the restaurant wanting everything to look tidy,
but apparently when the crayons are used or like worn down a little bit,
they'll like throw the crayons out because you can imagine when you rock up to a clean table,
you want like a fresh crayon.
You want it to like look smart.
Yeah, just like, yeah, whatever.
So this guy named Brian Ware, he learns about this and goes,
oh, it's a bit of a waste.
Yeah.
Because, you know, there's half a crayon still left.
Yeah.
So he starts going around to restaurants,
collecting all the worn-down crayons, boils them down,
and then remakes, like, a bigger, thicker crayon,
and then he's dropping them off for younger children
and children with special needs because they're big and thick,
they're easier to grasp, and he's delivering them to local hospitals.
Just out of the goodness of his heart because he goes,
I hate seeing waste.
And then his kids have, I believe, been in the hospital for a bit
and they want a big, fat crayon because they can get their hands around it.
And so he's like, well, you've got a problem trying to get rid of these crayons.
The hospital's got a problem because they don't have these specialty crowns for all
the kids to use.
Two birds, one stone.
Oh.
Brian Ware, what a legend of a guy.
Obviously, in hindsight, makes my crying over a Holland days seem so insignificant.
No, it doesn't.
So I really, I love that story.
It's really nice.
Hey.
I feel really bad now that I've obviously just bawled out over the...
Brian Ware is solving those problems.
Yeah.
And you are solving your problem of wanting holidays.
We've all got problems in the world and we all go about fixing them.
Yeah.
A bit different though, aren't they?
No, it's pretty similar.
My love to see it is this video that I saw of...
My love to see it is this video that I saw of a woman adopting an elderly dog.
So she went to the shelter and found this dog and they had a connection and she loved it, whatever.
Loved to sniff it, probably.
You love to sniff it.
And love that.
Very good.
And she later found out that it was her long-lost childhood puppy.
What?
Hang on, how old was the lady?
So she's like 25.
Oh, I was picturing an old lady.
No, no, no.
And I was like, oh, I'm pretty sure that's not the...
I ain't no mathematician.
So there's a picture of her holding this dog when she's,
I'd say, like 10 or 11.
It's the same dog.
Yeah.
No wonder they had a connection.
The dog would have known.
They always know. They always know. Yeah. They got a nose for that sort of stuff. Yeah, the same dog. Yeah. No wonder they had a connection. The dog would have known. They always know.
They always know. Yeah. They got a nose
for that sort of stuff. Yeah, you love to sniff it.
Yeah. Yeah. So does the dog.
But I
thought that was so sweet. You love to see it. You do love to see that.
Love to sniff it. Love to sniff it.
All in days.
See you tomorrow for the Meowvie Wrap.
Love you, bye.