Toni and Ryan - Hard D🍆cks and Aeroplanes
Episode Date: February 6, 2024What's up???? Love ya!!!!! xoCheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniand...ryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. I'm the vice captain of the ship. This is
Dr. Arthur Tony Lodge. Ryan's best friend. It's my official job title. Is it? I haven't been given
it yet, but it's coming. I can sense a promotion. Sorry, when you said I haven't been given it yet,
I was going to say. Yeah, you have. Come on, mate. Did last night mean nothing to you?
We did dine together last night. We did. We went to a fancy restaurant.
We did.
What was it called?
KFC Drive-Thru.
That kid was nice.
That kid was nice.
Yeah.
He saved us $10.
Yeah.
Didn't he let us know?
Yeah, he did.
He was really proud of himself.
Guys, if I put this into a combo instead of just, hey, you'll fucking save $10.
You're already spending all this money.
Yeah, I don't want to spend any more.
It's like, don't shame me with how much we're already spending.
But thanks for the money tips.
Yeah.
Who started a podcast?
We're calling Johnstown, Colorado, and we're calling Cassie,
who I reckon will be pumped to hear about our dining experience.
So is it John or Cassie?
It's Cassie from Johnstown.
Who's John when he's at home?
Who's John?
John.
Fuck.
Hello?
Cassie!
Hey!
Hey!
It's Tony and Ryan.
How are you?
I'm good.
How are you guys?
Yeah, we're well.
What are you up to tonight in Johnstown?
Well, it's this afternoon, so I have about a half hour
until I have to go pick up my daughter from school.
Oh, lovely.
And Cassie, who's John?
You know what? We don't know.
It's
town legend, whoever John is.
John legend?
It's John legend.
It's John legend.
I'll take that. It's John Legend.
I'll find out.
It's not John Legend.
Cassie, will you approve today's episode?
Absolutely, I will.
Hey, it's Cassie from Johnstown, Colorado, and I approve this podcast.
All right, happy new year, everyone, coming up today.
Happy new year.
We're going to learn a little bit more about Tony.
Hump do.
Oh.
Yay.
Yeah.
My favorite thing. Yep. Me. Oh. Yay. Yeah. My favourite thing.
Yep.
Me.
Yep.
Yeah.
Oh.
But first, what's an expression that's normal in your family but not normal everywhere else?
For example, when someone has a significantly firm erection,
Tony Lodge says they had a fat a cat couldn't scratch.
Okay, that's not from my family.
I feel like I need to make that abundantly clear.
Because you said that last year.
Glennie Wilson said that to me once.
Well, everyone's family in Western Australia and he's from Kalgoorlie.
That's true.
So you said that and I think us and the internet.
The internet stopped for a moment.
It skipped a beat and went, what?
It was very Kim Kardashian, broke the internet just for a moment. It skipped a beat and went, what? It was very Kim Kardashian, broke the internet just for a moment.
Yeah.
My family thing, so it's not really an expression,
but like, you know, Lucas's pawpaw ointment,
that one in like the red tube.
Absolutely.
And you can get it in the red tub as well.
And it's everywhere in your house.
It's in your glove box, in your car.
Yeah, everyone's got one.
My mum used to use that as my nappy cream.
Like she would use that like instead of Suda cream
or maybe they didn't have that back then, I don't know.
And she called it bum cream.
Like, oh, I need the bum cream.
And then when I was in year 10, it came into fashion
to use that like as a lip balm.
Absolutely.
And so I saw all these people and I was like, oh, yeah,
like a tube of bum cream.
And they went, what?
Excuse me, ma'am?
Excuse me?
Excuse me.
And because I just saw the red tube and I was like, oh, the bum cream.
Like, I know what that is.
And I'm pretty sure that I was like, you're putting bum cream on your lips.
And they were like, you're actually the weird one for calling it that.
You can't say that to me.
Don't come in with your superior attitude.
It's like, why are these hot girls at music festivals putting bum cream in their mouth?
Yeah.
And that's genuinely, I was like, oh, you've got bum cream.
How embarrassing.
And then I was like, my mum used that on my bum.
And they're like, that's not what it's for.
Yeah, that's not what it's for.
It's not what it's for at all.
I always called a TV, and I don't know if this is like a cute kid thing,
but I always called a TV, and I don't know if this is like a cute kid thing, but I always called a TV remote a channel changer.
Till I was like, you know, little, till I was like 25.
My mum used to call it a zapper.
Pass me the zapper.
Yeah, like that's what she used to do.
Speaking of, actually, just pass me the zapper.
Oh, my screen behind me zapped.
Yeah, we're zapping.
We're zapping.
So Tapa Susan has posted a thread in the Tony and Ryan. screen behind yeah yeah we're zapping we're zapping uh so tarpa susan
tarpa susan has posted a thread in the tony and ryan facebook group sorry sorry tony's
zapping and channel changing the uh okay so just to bring everyone up to speed here
we uh we share a studio with a bunch of other podcasts and we're getting a fucking plug at the
moment yeah and so you you go you get the remote and you just press across and there's all the different shows and apparently
we are a sports podcast at the moment no oh we're dylan friends that's nice oh we're life of brian
that's great oh there we go here we go yeah we pay for all the channels tarpa susan posted a thread
after hearing tony say a fat couldn't scratch And also you said pussy's bow the other week.
Yeah, which is actually a real saying.
I don't think so.
No, no, no.
And apparently it's because there was a type of blouse that was called
like a pussy blouse and it had a little bow on the collar of it.
I actually just can't.
And that was what it was like up to pussy's bow.
But I thought it was because a cat wore like a bell collar,
like a bow collar. Anyway, up to pussy's bow is definitely I thought it was because a cat wore like a bell collar, like a bow collar.
Anyway, up to pussy's bow is definitely a saying.
Stand by it.
Tapa Susan posted a thread and go,
I need to hear more of your family expressions.
Yep.
When someone has a terrible idea, Beth and her family said,
I'd rather shit in my hands and clap.
I haven't heard that one before.
I like that.
I like that.
Normally when families are like, oh, I've, like, bad idea,
it's like the least favourite family member of that week.
Like, oh, you've really libid that.
Oh, that's brutal.
Yeah, it is brutal.
And, like, we had a couple of those, like, yeah,
where it was like, oh, you've libid that or, like,
you've toned that or you've jamied that.
And so not only is it an insult for the person that's done it,
but then it's like a swift one to the other person as well.
Oh, yeah, it's like a fucking two for one.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
When someone says, what's up?
Danny's family says, hard dicks and aeroplanes.
That's quick.
I like that.
When someone says something obvious, I'm personally a fan of a no-shit Sherlock.
I like a no-shit Sherlock.
You do say that, yep.
But in Alicia's family, it's, that's as obvious as a fart in a phone box.
To be fair.
That would be very obvious.
Very obvious.
Hard to get around.
Hard to get around.
No, straight away.
Fart in a phone box.
I also like the alliteration of fart in a phone box.
Yeah. It's a bit of a tongue twister. I was like the alliteration of fart in a phone box.
Yeah, it's a bit of a tongue twist.
I was nervous because I'm not good at talking, as you know.
Yeah, I mean, that was a great example.
I'm not great at talking.
When someone's bragging or talking themselves up,
Caitlin's family says, oh, don't break your arm jerking yourself off.
I love that.
Yeah.
That's mine.
Dibs.
I'm taking that. If someone's telling you something great, you go, are you alright?
Are you alright? I'm okay. And they go, yeah, why? And you go, oh, she's just jerking
yourself off the whole time.
Do you know what my mum always used to say?
Like, if she ever gave me cash, she'd go, be careful.
Paint's still wet. Ink's still wet.
What does that even mean? I don't know.
Like it's a crisp bill? Or it's
fake? Was she like, oh, like I
only just printed that. Was your mum a money launderer?
No!
When she's been dead for 25 years, I can tell you.
Yeah.
You know how there's been a lot of dull chat,
the word dull without it being a great insult.
Chelsea heard this on Bob's Burgers and now it's part
of her everyday vernacular.
I love Bob's Burgers.
When someone's really boring, Chelsea goes, oh,
if they were a spice, that'd be flour.
And doesn't that just kick you in the dull dick?
I mean, oh.
What a clap back as well of saying, but also just calling someone dull.
And you would never say you're being really dull.
It's like, oh, have you spoken to them?
Fuck, they're dull, eh?
If you were a spice, what would you be?
Turmeric, because I get all over your hands.
And you do cure depression.
Do I?
Yeah.
That's really nice.
After what you just said about your hands.
Oh, yeah.
I'm everywhere.
What would you be?
Flower.
No, but maybe just like a.
Because I'm self-raising.
No.
You don't need me then.
Maybe you would be like a classic, like a thyme or a parsley
or a rosemary or something.
What does a person need to do to be like chilli or something,
something with a spice, like actual spice?
I don't know.
Because that's where you want to be, isn't it?
But also, like, spice is good, but you can't have it all the time.
That's fine.
But, like, so, you know, like you need your old faithfuls.
You need your times, et cetera.
When someone says how things at work and Brad's a bit busy, he goes, yeah,
busier than a one-armed bloke with itchy balls.
It takes me a while to sort of.
He would be busy, I guess, yeah.
Well, if you've got one arm doing the itching of the balls,
then you can't do anything else.
So you're quite busy, I guess.
If you had two arms as you do and you had itchy balls,
would you do one hand down and then.
Well, I'm never that busy because I've got one arm to itch my balls
and one arm to do everything else I need to do in my day.
So are you just generally, you've got your hand down your pants,
itching your balls, then you're just.
Yeah, and not busy.
Working on the other hand.
Yeah.
Interesting.
Yeah.
Okay.
I'd love to hear everyone else's family expressions.
Me too.
Because I'm living for these.
Oh, that is amazing.
And I do think if you were to bring in any of those into your regular vernacular.
Yeah.
What are you liking?
I think hard dicks and aeroplanes has got some energy about it.
But people don't say what's up as often now.
Do they though?
No, I don't think they do.
When you walk into the office, like, hey, Tony, what's up?
Or they go, how are you doing?
You, whenever I walk into the office, you say, what's cracking?
Maybe I should say, these eggs.
I know what you meant, but that doesn't sound good.
That doesn't sound good.
Nah.
You say what's happened.
Well, do you want me to, I can change my introductory morning line
to set you up for a punchline.
Okay.
So would you prefer if I gave you a few what's ups?
Okay.
Yeah, give me a what's up and I'll do the boners and planes,
whatever that one was.
All right.
I'll sneak one in this episode.
Okay.
And we'll see how you go.
All right.
All right.
All right.
But let us know on the episode thread.
Up next, more about Tony Lodge.
And no more bum cream.
Yeah.
Hey, it's Cassie from Johnstown, Colorado, and you're listening to Tony and Ryan.
A massive shout out to a few of our champion tapas over at our Patreon.
Oh my God, sorry, I just breathed in air, which is usual. That's a good thing.
That's a good thing, usually, yeah.
But it like hit the back of my throat, which is also usual for me.
Was that air named Ryan Dunn?
Yeah.
Sorry.
Sorry.
Sorry.
Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.
Sorry.
Sorry, now you go.
You do your job and I'll fucking not harass you.
Yeah, what's up with that?
No, it doesn't work that way.
Oh, okay.
All right.
And especially given the context, I'm not going to say that line.
Yeah, that's fair.
Yeah, yeah.
I am HR.
Tarpers, Tony and Ryan podcasters over at our Patreon.
Mel Randall, good on you, Mel.
Caleb White, you'll love to see that, Caleb.
Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you.
Samantha Lord, Rebecca Van Muelen, and Danika Ray.
We absolutely love to see it, Danika.
Thanks for being part of it.
Yep.
What's going on?
No, I was about to say what's up.
Oh, okay.
And Danika Ray, good on you, Danika.
Thank you so much.
No, no, all good.
All good, all good.
How am I supposed to respond if you don't say it?
A bit over a month until the Australian football season begins.
Cricket's sort of wrapping up for the year and we're heading towards football.
And tennis.
We had tennis.
Yeah, tennis has been and gone.
And this is Tony's first year as a fan of the Hawthorne Hawks that you might have heard
a few weeks ago.
I was welcomed into the club recently.
And it's great to have you here.
Thank you.
I think we'll go to a game early in the season just to get a real feel.
Yeah.
But what has been mentioned around the office is that your first MCG
experience, which is the home of football, this huge big football stadium,
that's actually where the Taylor Swift's concert is.
Yeah.
So your first MCG experience won't be eating a meat pie and having a beer
at the footy with your scarf.
I'm going to be in a sequined dress yelling.
Yeah, which is the most un-MCG thing ever.
I mean, I'm happy for you, but just the irony is fucking. I'll take it. Absolutely. I'm going to be in a sequined dress. Yeah, which is the most un-MCG thing ever. I mean, I'm happy for you, but just the irony is fucking.
I'll take it.
Absolutely.
I'm so excited.
So I said to Tony the other day, obviously you're going to get there first with Taylor
Swift anyway, but hey, let's go to a game at the MCG, a real Melbourne thing, introduce
you to the Hawks.
Yeah.
And you go, yeah, so I was looking at a season reserve seat online.
Yeah, so I was looking at a season reserve seat online and I go,
not three days ago you were not a Hawks fan and suddenly you, like,
knew the website structure and you're like, yeah,
and if we get the lethal package you can get the two reserve seats and the interstate game.
I was like, what the fuck has just happened?
You can.
All in Tony Lodge is your new name?
Yes.
He does not do things by halves.
It's because I get pumped.
And then when you said you wanted to do something with me,
I was like, yeah, well, I'm going to love the thing that you love.
You know when you like want to get on someone's level?
Yeah.
I want to get on your level.
So I was like, I'll have a look at these memberships.
I've actually got the website open still.
Oh, no, tell.
So the gold reserve seat, that gets you like level one reserve seating for the Hawthorne home games.
Yeah.
That's bloody good.
You also have guaranteed access to hopefully get a grand final ticket if you-
You won't need, don't pay extra for that this year.
Oh, okay.
Oh, yeah, because I know that.
I'll tell you what's real funny, though.
Based on the performance.
So every club has a package that's like, oh,
and the option to get a grand final ticket if we make it.
Yeah.
For the good teams that actually might make it, that's really expensive.
But for the Hawks, it's like, oh, we'll chuck in a fucking grand final ticket
if we make it.
We'll chuck it in, yeah.
Like, oh, if we make the grand final, have this Porsche because fucking,
you know, it's just not going to happen anyway.
No, but remember that year that they did when you were there with your mum?
I was there with my mum.
Yeah.
Don't.
That'll be us this year.
Yeah, those tickets weren't fucking straight legal though,
just to be quietly.
Well, remember when you didn't go with your mum to the grand final?
No, because during that week people get desperate
and then a few people with tickets go, oh, you got a bit of cash maybe.
Oh, that's what I would do.
I'd gob for a ticket to the grand final, 100%.
Say gob.
Yeah.
What, so you're in a dark alley and this guy goes,
I got tickets, what's up?
And you say?
I say, come on, mate, I want to go to the Hawks.
I'm a big fan.
No, no, obviously not.
Suck your dick, but no one else's.
What did the guy in the alley say to you?
What's up?
Nah.
What?
I don't know, just maybe an opportunity for a hard dick in an airplane.
But I said the what's up.
Oh, did you say what's up?
Everyone go back 15 seconds.
Hang on, can you tell me?
No, but I said the what's up.
You can listen to the episode tomorrow as well, Tony.
Did I say what's hum?
Oh, I thought you said that.
Oh, fuck. Got were going to say that.
Oh, fuck.
Got so excited.
Anyway.
I'm excited that you're excited and are loving all in Tony and I've got more all in Tony examples.
Oh, do you?
Because I've got more prices about the Hawthorne Football Club.
So the thing is, I don't know if it's because of Mabel
or because, again, COVID was the turning point of Ryan
not leaving the house.
Yes.
But I just watch it on TV. You can come over and we'll have wings and stuff. That's fine. Isn't that just as, again, COVID was the turning point of Ryan not leaving the house. Yes. But I just watch it on TV.
You can come over and we'll have wings and stuff.
That's fine.
Isn't that just as, like, cozy?
I would love to go to a game just because I love watching the score.
Yeah, go to a couple.
We don't need to go every week.
Yeah.
Can you buy a membership where it's, like, you just get, like, tickets to four?
Probably.
Or you can just go four times.
Yeah.
Oh, but you wouldn't pay that much to only go four times.
No, but you can just pay like on the day.
Oh, can you just buy tickets?
Yeah.
Oh, but no, don't.
You want the thing that says member, don't you?
Yeah.
Fair point.
You know what I mean?
Maybe I could just buy on eBay or my sister could make with her sublimation printer a
badge that says member and then I don't have to pay for it.
Yeah.
I won't say that because.
Because it's a family club and we're supporting the team.
Yeah, because we're supporting the team.
Yeah, yeah.
Tony, you had a book reading goal this year.
How many?
Oh, fuck me.
20?
How many up to?
You'll do.
You got off to a hot start.
Yeah, I think I've read.
Oh, actually, I can tell you all my good reads.
Well, here's where I, my point exactly.
Oh, okay.
It's just ticked over February.
Yeah. And what have you, since becoming a reader, what have I achieved? Did you call yourself a book read fluencer earlier today? I believe I did, but I think. Can you explain,
can you bring everyone up to date please? So everybody, cause I talked about reading the
books and I've, I think I'm on, I'm thinking I'm reading book number six for the year at the moment. Whoa.
And I had mentioned a few books on the podcast and maybe on Instagram or something and a few people were like,
oh, what was that book Tony mentioned?
And people kept asking and I was like, oh,
how can I put them in one place so that people can refer back
to it if they want to find the books?
And there's this website called Goodreads and it's Facebook for losers,
basically.
And you just like, you just plug in like all the books that you've read
and you rate them and you can be like currently reading
and you can like update yourself, be like up to page 102
and then your friends can go, oh, it's about to get good,
like keep going kind of thing.
And so I was like, I'll do a Goodreads and then I can log on. And what were you bragging about this morning?
Well, I'm actually the number three most followed person
on Goodreads in Australia.
Now, is that a compliment to you or just a representation
of how popular Goodreads is?
That's a very good question.
All in Tony Lodge.
She does not do things by halves.
When she decides she's a reader, she becomes a bookfluencer
and number three on Goodreads in Australia.
I just try my best, guys.
It's the support of the people around me.
I couldn't do it without my family and God.
You know how people always make that.
Yeah, okay.
In your new house, the spare room is like your office, your craft room.
And for the first time in your life, and correct me if I'm wrong,
have you got a, there's a place where you've got the sewing machine
out at all times.
Yeah, it's like set up all the time.
Yeah, so you don't have to like bring it out and do it.
Every time I need to hem a pair of pants, I'm like, fuck,
I'll just, I won't wear them.
And so all in Tony Lodge, I go, so how's the sewing going?
And what did you reveal to me the other night?
I've started a sewing course.
Where is the sewing?
Tell me what's the sewing course.
Okay, so it's this website and it's called Closet Core Patterns
and they sell patterns.
And I was looking for a particular pattern because I wanted
to make myself a bathrobe because I couldn't find one that I wanted.
So would you say this is more of a convenience
or is it like a new hobby?
Well, I love sewing.
And anyway, so I was looking at these patterns and then I saw that they sell courses as well
and I was like
I can sew
like I can use a sewing machine
my mum was a big sewer
so I've learnt like a lot of the basics
but I was like I probably couldn't tackle
a whole project like
sew an entire item of clothing
and so I actually messaged my friend Georgia Young
who's a wedding dress designer.
One of the great wedding dress designers.
And also all the gowns for the fancy.
She does all the brown lows, everything.
Like she is the queen of dress design.
And you go, what?
Hey, mate, quick sewing question.
I was like, what machine do you have?
She listens to the pod.
She knows what happened because I messaged her.
I go, hey, G, what machine have you got?
And she went, I think probably not the one that you need.
This is like someone who's drinking instant roast coffee going
to the fanciest cafe and going, so what kind of kettle do you have
for your coffee making?
You got a Canbrook?
What have you got in there?
Anyway, and so I messaged her and she was like, oh,
the one that you've got is perfect for what you need.
I was like, okay.
And then she actually said, if you'd like to come in to the studio,
we can teach you some things.
Does she know you're not engaged?
And I said, yeah.
She's looking for a sale.
Yeah, she's trying to fucking shake me down.
No, and then so I was like, oh, I've just actually enrolled
in this thing so I can learn everything.
Because the other thing about All In Tony is that I often get
ahead of myself.
I don't learn how to do things properly and I just buy all the stuff
and then I never do it.
Oh, it doesn't sound like you.
Yeah, it does.
And I'm currently enrolled in a marriage celebrant course
and I keep looking at all the stuff and it's too hard.
It's too much for my time.
Like I just don't have enough time.
What were you about to say?
I was going to say too much for my time but I meant like. I thought you were going to say for my tiny brain. Oh, no. You're so tiny. What were you about to say? I was going to say too much for my time, but I meant like.
I thought you were going to say for my tiny brain.
Oh, no.
I'm so tiny.
What are you saying?
I'm not saying anything.
No, it's too much like for the time that I have.
Ducks and geese.
What is that?
And so I looked at it and I was like, that's too hard.
So I've dropped out of that and now I'm doing my sewing.
So you transferred.
Which I'm actually really.
Do you get credits for your.
I don't, RPL.
I don't think so because I didn't do anything.
I just enrolled.
Did you pay the money?
I didn't even upload my driver's license.
Oh, so you're, yeah.
Yeah, but I did pay the money.
Well, actually work paid the money.
What the.
Yeah.
I know.
And this is what happens in every other workplace.
Yeah.
Work only pays if you do it.
Yeah. Well, I'll want to work some money then.
Anyway, and then so.
Actually, though, because you know how the work bank is at the moment.
And then, but it turns out that I'm really good at learning things with my hands.
So I'm loving this sewing thing because I'm actually like doing something
and they're talking to me because you do it at your own pace.
I've got my headphones on and I can just do my sewing at home
and I'm learning so much.
And would you say you are all in on sewing?
But I'm like over halfway through,
which is the furthest I've ever gotten into anything that wasn't food.
I've never got past halfway in anything.
I was like, I saw you with a Domino's pizza yesterday, mate.
Are we not saying that we had Domino's yesterday?
I'm fine with it.
Did you tell Torbs?
Yeah.
Okay.
He helped me get the rubbish out of the car.
Yeah, sorry about that.
Because you two didn't take the rubbish home, so.
Don't tell anyone.
Yeah.
Oh, don't worry, no one listens to this.
Just to confirm.
Yeah.
Tony, get welcome to the Hawthorne Football Club.
Thank you very much.
Looking for season reserve seating.
Yeah, we are looking for season reserve seating.
Tony decides he's going to start reading a few books.
Yeah.
The third most followed book fluencer in Australia in quickweeds.
Tony finds bench space for a sewing machine.
Yeah.
Halfway through a sewing course.
I'm probably going to be competing with Georgia Young soon.
I'll be making wedding dresses like...
I couldn't even get through that. going to be competing with Georgia Young soon. I'll be making wedding dresses like her.
I couldn't even get through that.
Well, if you can't be a part of someone's wedding by being the celebrant because you're a celebrant dropout,
you'll do a dress instead.
Yeah.
Fuck, no, actually.
That's a good deal.
No pressure.
Yeah.
I think when it comes to wedding dresses,
people would be pretty cruisy, not really worried about the detail.
Happy for you to rock up at any time. I'd love to hear. Happy for you to rock up at any time.
I'd love to hear some Bradzilla stories on that actually if that was.
Well, I don't have any because Georgie Young made Bridget's dress
and it was perfect.
It was perfect.
But, yeah, so I'm very into sewing at the moment.
I'm really enjoying it.
I'm happy for you.
I'm happy that you're like doing it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, I'm really pumped.
I really like it.
Sick.
It's, yeah, it's just really satisfying actually seeing,
I had these pair of pants that have been sitting on my table for ages
that I had to take off and I took them off the other day and I just.
I've taken off my jeans instead of me spending $5 million
at the fucking tailor.
And they don't even fit.
No.
Yeah.
Anyway.
Question.
Question.
Would it be possible, I'm just trying to think of all the hobbies you've started over the journey.
Things are allowed to be fun for one time.
No, but is it possible to create a thing where you do all of them at once?
So I'm sewing on a stand up paddle board while I'm reading a book.
Is that possible?
No, it's probably not.
I just would need you to like maybe be riding a bike to power the sewing machine at the same time.
Yeah, okay.
Could we do that?
If you can commit to the other, I can commit to that.
I do have a Santa paddle board.
So I've heard.
So I've heard.
You got any love to see it, Tony?
My love to see it is from Megan McArthur.
And I'm going to say Megan.
I don't know if it's Megan, Megan, Muggan, Morgan.
Muggan.
It's always one of them. Don't walk down that street at night. You'll get a muggan. What's up? I don't know if it's Megan, Muggin, Morgan. Muggin.
It's always one of them.
Don't walk down that street at night.
You'll get a Muggin.
What's up?
Don't he said that as I took the big sip of my drink?
Megan says, I just bought my first house.
Fuck yeah.
Congratulations.
Megan says, we've been looking for ages, like 18 months.
Nothing came up until this one.
And even though someone else bid more money than me,
the seller chose us because they wrote like a little letter and were like, oh, our family in this home.
Guys always write a letter.
We sold our place in Canberra and we didn't give it to the highest bidder
because the letter got us.
Yeah.
And I regret it to this day.
Well, I wrote a letter to the homeowners of my home before us,
and then the person who bid at the auction for us was like,
Tony, they don't read them if it's for an auction.
They don't go, oh, yeah.
So I wrote this beautiful letter.
For an auction.
For an auction.
Did you think that through?
Did you think through the motions?
No, but I just wanted them to know how much we were going to love it.
And we get along great with them, actually.
I'm sure.
But I'll go, show me how much you love it with a high bid.
Yeah, they just tear the letter up in front of us.
That's why I add the auction.
They go, oh, Tony's bid this much, but she actually gets an extra couple of thousand.
But she really likes it.
It's like some bonus Monopoly money because she wrote a letter.
Or was it like when your nan gives you a birthday card and you shake the envelope and no money comes out?
And they go, what the fuck am I going to do with that?
Try a bit harder, Nan.
Yeah.
But good on you, Megan, because it's fucking, yeah,
that's a huge milestone.
You should be so proud.
What do you love to see?
This time last year we snuck over to Western Australia
and we surprised Saren with the Fuck It Fund.
And I don't know if you remember,
we bought them a mouthpiece for their saxophone.
I don't know if people remember the video.
They remember seeing it.
Because basically.
It was a huge undercover operation from us.
Yeah.
Yeah.
A sting, if you will.
It was a sting.
A sting for Saren.
Yeah.
So Saren says, I want to practice.
I want to use this saxophone during my like high school music exams.
And if that goes well, I want to play the saxophone and audition for WAPA, which stands for?
West Australian Academy of Performing Arts,
which is where I went.
Are you an alumni?
I am, yep.
I went and graduated from WAPA.
Well, Saren has posted in the Tony and Ryan group.
What did they say?
Thanks to Tony and Ryan and all you TAPAs,
I've just moved into my very first apartment on campus
at WAPA because I got in.
Couldn't thank you enough for the opportunity to buy my all-time favourite mouthpiece.
Well, Tony's my favourite mouthpiece and now you, Saren, Scott, their favourite mouthpiece.
Seriously, you guys gave me the confidence to ace my audition and gain entry into the
uni.
You'll love to bloody see it.
You do love to see that.
And we're very proud to have played a very small part in you getting
into Whopper. That was pretty much us.
It is really hard to get in.
Very, very competitive. So the fact that you got
in is huge and
it was awesome to meet you as well.
Yeah.
And mum and brother. Oh yeah, we met
mum. She was just as shocked
as everyone else. Yeah, mum didn't really know what was going
on. No, and she also didn't know what a podcast was,
so it was very hard to, is this your friends from school?
Yeah.
How do you know them?
Yeah.
But that's okay.
I hope she's doing well too.
Saren, we love to see it.
And good luck.
Good luck.
Starting uni, that's massive.
Can I do a bonus?
You love to see it?
Yeah.
I've been drinking poor man's mimosas.
Okay.
How often are you having a mimosa?
No, like a little bit of orange juice and then just topping it up
with soda water from the soda stream.
Hence, like, the poor man's mimosa.
Right.
I thought you were about to say, like, I've been drinking it wrong.
This is the right way.
And I was like, what?
No, so I wanted to have, like, a lemonade or, you know,
something you just need a bit of something sweet.
Yeah.
And so I opened the fridge and we've just got soda water plain.
Yeah. Which you think tastes like. TV sweetness. Yeah. And so I open the fridge and we've just got soda water plain. Yeah.
Which you think tastes like.
TV study.
Yeah.
There's no like sweetness to it.
Yeah.
And then we've got orange juice, but it was like later at night and I was like, orange
juice feels like a breakfast thing.
Yeah.
It's orange juice.
Yeah.
It throws you.
And then I was like, what if I like separately, it's not right at this time, but if I just
like put them together.
A little sparkling OJ.
Don't you fucking love to see that? So it's not right at this time. But if I just, like, put them together. A little sparkling OJ. Don't you fucking love to see that?
So, it's really funny that you...
Everyone, I hard recommend just a third orange juice.
Because you don't want to go too sweet.
Just a little...
Just to take the edge off the static.
But fuck me.
It is good.
This is coincidence, chat.
But Toms and I went out for brunch, like, on the weekend.
Mimosas.
And, well, no, he ordered, so I just ordered a coffee,
and he goes, I'll get the mango nectar juice.
What the fuck?
He's a new man.
Yeah, crazy.
He's changed.
He's driving and ordering that shit.
What's next?
He's on the move.
Anyway, and it was like, it came with like a little,
you know when sometimes you order like a long black
and it comes with a little sparkling water?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I was like, wouldn't that be good with a little sparkling water? Yeah. Yeah.
I was like, wouldn't that be good with sparkling water,
which is exactly what you just suggested. And did he do it?
They didn't have it.
Oh.
But it would have been bloody good and that's what you're suggesting.
Surely the waitress just comes over and you go, excuse me, what's up?
We could have just asked for a sparkling water.
It wasn't as if we asked and they said no.
I was just like, that would be really good.
He was like, it would.
So just to confirm your coincidence is we thought about doing that. We talked about just like, that would be really good. He was like, it would. So just to confirm, your coincidence
is we thought about doing that. We talked about it.
And it would be yum and you're telling
us it would be, so woo!
What's up with that?
You're still not quite getting it. No, I'm not getting it
because I keep saying with that and it's just
not there. But also, I'm going to say it to you.
And I've actually said it multiple times.
Have you? Well, remember when I went
through that phase and I was saying,
was I?
That's funny.
That was an awful phase.
You missed it.
I just did it.
I'm doing it for you.
I don't think you understand.
So why can't I do it?
Well, you can do whatever you want, but you wanted the opportunity
and I said I would provide one.
Oh, so I shouldn't say.
No.
So I shouldn't say.
Yeah, no.
No.
What's up't say that. No. So I shouldn't say that. Yeah, no. No. What's up?
With that.
Okay, I'm really trying.
All right, well, we'll be back tomorrow.
Yeah, normal or nahs in tomorrow,
please submit yours in the Tony and Ryan Facebook group.
There's a thread there.
What's up?
Please don't go back to that phase.
Don't go back to that phase.
It was a horrible phase.
I know the Super Bowl's on soon and there's like that famous Super Bowl ad
with the what's up and the Budweiser guy.
Hard dicks and airplanes.
He said what's up.
See you tomorrow.
Should we go home?
Yeah.
Okay.
I think we're done here.
Love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you.
Love you.
Meow.