Toni and Ryan - Honesty Hour
Episode Date: January 30, 2023It's time for CONFESSIONS and GRUDGES. If you've got a SPICY confession you need to get off your chest, we wanna hear about it HERE! Fuckin' love ya, Toni xoxo Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/Ton...iandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Plus you can find the links to pre-order Toni's book here! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Welcome to the podcast. My name is Ryan, vice captain of the ship over here is The Muscles,
who carries the show, Toni Lodge. Oh my gosh, and we're calling Taylor.
Taylor in Adelaide. Adelaide.
Also known as? Radelaide.
Because it's rad. And she'll be gladelaide we're calling.
Hopefully she answers, otherwise I'll be madelaide.
Taylor, it's Tony and Ryan. Do you approve-a-lade this podcast?
I do approve very lately.
What is your favourite thing to put on toast?
Is it marmalade?
On toast?
Marmalade.
Sorry, we were just making Adelaide rhyming jokes
and it was as funny as it sounds when I explain it.
That was pretty funny.
Thank you.
I appreciate it.
Do you still approve though?
Of course.
Yes.
Good, good, good.
Hey, it's Taylor from Adelaide and I approve this podcast.
You know how like psychologists, wellness gurus and like society in general
will always be like, you shouldn't hold a grudge.
It's such an easy thing to say, but like holding onto grudge,
is it a natural part of life to some extent?
Is it a scale?
I think it's probably part of life.
But I think it's like that thing like holding, what's the saying?
I'm going to fuck it up fucking tremendously right now.
But it's like holding on to poison doesn't poison the other person,
you poison yourself.
Yep.
Or whatever.
It's obviously a lot more eloquent, the actual quote.
No, I think that's exactly right.
Yeah.
But so I guess it's like if you're holding on to something,
is it affecting you?
Because the other person, have they just moved on?
I don't give a shit.
Yeah.
There's a grudge that's been held.
By...
Coming up, we'll get to the grudges.
It's not about me.
Did I do something wrong?
Would I hold a grudge against you?
Even asking that question will fill you with fear.
Yeah, I really just want to skip. I don't
hold any grudges with you. Okay. That's all I've got to say. That's good. We'll get to that soon.
Okay. But first, confessions. This is Top Confessions. I actually just saw this one on
the internet. I heard my neighbor moaning one morning and it was hot and I started wanking
while I was listening to her. I found out later that the girl was out of town and it was hot and I started wanking while I was listening to her.
I found out later that the girl was out of town and I was actually just wanking to the sound of a pigeon.
Yeah, about that.
Which, well, that's what a pigeon sounds like.
What would a sexy moan sound like?
People have asked me to pull back on the sexy moans, haven't they?
They're not similar.
That's not the same thing.
As a pigeon.
But thanks for confessing nonetheless.
All right, this is a sexy pigeon.
That is a sexy pigeon.
Yeah.
You are a sexy pigeon.
Thank you.
You can fly over and shit on my roof.
You can sit in my nest.
You can keep my eggs warm.
You can sit in my nest. You can keep my eggs warm. You can
The confessor is not going to be the
You can throw up into my mouth.
You can ruffle
my feathers.
You can steal
my shiny things.
You can use
your twigs to build my nest
and hair and spit.
You know how birds use like hair and spit and stuff for a nest?
If you don't stop, then the confessor isn't going to be the only one
wanking off to the thought of a pigeon.
But it's a pigeon with my face.
Yeah.
We will make a video and that's what it will be.
Write that down, everyone.
Here's a confession from a tarpa.
And, again, this is people that listen to our podcast.
So we have a brand new page on our website,
www.tonynryan.com slash pages slash confessions,
I think is the website, and it is fully anonymous.
So you can put anything you want in there, if you know what I mean,
and we don't know who it was.
It's like a glory hole.
Forgive me, tarpa, for I have sinned.
I think I've killed an old lady.
Yeah.
No, please, I need a moment.
What?
What?
Yep.
This has been on my mind and conscious for years
and I still feel horrible about it.
Years?
Okay, judgment-free zone.
Sure.
Okay, so I'm just going to try and pull back the,
pare back my, I really can't.
I mean, killing old ladies is a thing worthy of being,
like, you know, you're allowed to have your emotions.
Yeah, but this person has trusted us with their confession.
But years, okay.
No one in the world knows about this except one other person
who was there in the moment and they've sworn each other to secrecy.
But the tarpa has just said, it's just been on my conscience
and I just need to tell someone because it's eating me up inside
and I feel awful.
Pause.
Who would you trust in that moment?
Say some shit went down.
Like who would you pick to be by your side that you know
like would never spill?
Torbs.
Torbs is actually a great person.
He would never say anything.
Yeah, he's a fucking lockbox, that guy.
He actually is.
Yeah, who would you?
Would you tell me?
The only reason I wouldn't tell, so Torbs would obviously be my number one,
only because he'd probably likely be there if something was going down.
The only reason I wouldn't do you, and it's not because I don't fucking trust you
with my life, because I absolutely do, love you like a brother.
I think that's very clear.
Don't say it like a brother.
Yeah, brothers don't fuck at each other.
Sorry.
This is supposed to be a beautiful moment.
Okay, this is a beautiful moment.
The only reason I wouldn't do you is because we talk like in front
of thousands and thousands and thousands of people for a living.
Yeah.
I feel like we wouldn't be able to resist the urge of going like,
oh, so the other day I was driving down the highway.
Remember that time we were driving down the highway anyway?
And you're like, don't mention the time I killed the guy.
Yeah, so that's where I think that maybe that would,
we would become unravelled.
I think I would never ever say, but I would threaten to say all the time.
Yeah, and so I wouldn't be able to live with that stress.
Like, I can't live with that.
Yeah.
No, I'm with you.
I'm not offended at all.
Yeah, so I feel like, but I like that Torbs was your first –
do you like Torbs?
Do you like him?
Yeah.
Do you actually – like would you ever like hang out with Torbs
like without me?
Like because I've hung out with your wife heaps.
Me and my wife work together.
But we've like gone out for dinner and stuff.
Remember that time you guys drunk called me and were like,
can you pick us up?
We're way straight at the wine bar.
And it was 5.30 on a Wednesday.
Yeah, I do remember.
Well, barely.
In the afternoon.
Would you hang out with Torbs a lot?
We could go to kebab.
Yeah, I'd hang out with him.
Would you?
Are you trying to set up a date?
No, I'm just like.
Me and Torbs hang out all the time.
But just the way that just then you like so confidently said Torbs.
Well, you know how when I'm at your house and then you're like,
I've got to go to the bathroom.
I've had a coffee and you go on for half an hour.
Like me and Torbs are hanging out there. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. Okay. Anyway, you'd how when I'm at your house and then you're like, oh, I've got to go to the bathroom, I've had a coffee, and you go on for half an hour. Yeah. Like me and Torbs are hanging out there.
Yeah, that's true.
Yeah.
Okay, anyway, you'd pick Torbs.
This person has their friend, they're sworn to secrecy.
Well, it's not a friend, it was a colleague, and let me explain.
I was working as an assistant nurse and we were down on staff.
So myself and a qualified nurse were giving like bed baths,
like helping the- like a sponge bath
yeah and it's a very older lady who's in the final moment you know stages of life yeah i was washing
this one old lady when i rolled her towards me and completely pulled her shoulder out of its socket
oh my god and i mean that i mean that kind of stuff would happen a lot, right?
I bet, the tarpa explains, I'd been completely overworked,
highly stressed, and I just panicked.
And I saw her in pain.
I didn't know what to do.
What would you do?
Fuck.
Oh, my God.
It's late at night.
There's not many people around.
There's you and another nurse.
You're stressed.
You don't know what to do.
You're instant like, what do I do?
I mean, if you can pop a shoulder out, you can pop it back in, right?
So she popped the shoulder straight back in.
Especially, you're like, surely that is what you would do.
She popped the shoulder in and the lady died within the hour.
Now, a dislocated shoulder.
Like, I've had three shoulder reconstructions. Yeah, you got a fucking gnarly scar from them. You got a dislocated shoulder. Like I've had three shoulder reconstructions.
Yeah, you got a fucking gnarly scar from them.
Got a couple, yeah.
It's the most excruciating pain you can ever experience.
Really?
It is so painful.
Like the ball comes out of its socket.
Yeah.
And it's like bones scratching other bones on the inside
and it's like sharp and you're trying to like get it back in the socket.
So that was going to be my question.
What about it hurts?
And your arm's heavy.
Like, you know, when you've got a dead arm, you can like feel it.
So it's also just the weight of your arm like not being in the right spot.
Fucking hell.
So the lady rolls over, her arms falls out of her socket.
She's in excruciating pain.
She doesn't know what to do.
She pops it back in and then the lady dies.
So let me continue reading now i'm not saying the dislocated shoulder is fatal
uh or that i should be trialed for murder uh the nurse and i triple checked that her dislocated
shoulder and her death had nothing to do with each other but to this day myself and the nurse
and the lady are the only people
who know about the situation.
No, the lady's not going to say anything.
The family came in and they were like, oh, was she at peace?
And I went, yep.
Even though all I could remember was holding her limp arm
that was temporarily unattached to her body while she was screaming in pain.
Not a single person knows about this,
and the other nurse has done everything in her power to keep it that way,
and I've never told a living soul, but it's been eating me up inside.
And then I decided I needed to tell someone,
and that's why I'm anonymously messaging the Tony and Ryan podcast.
Fuck, that's heavy, eh?
And I'm actually here to tell anonymous Tapa that she doesn't have to be worried because let me give you some insight.
And I don't know if this is a weird thing to say.
Yeah.
Because she thinks, oh, you know, she died in extreme pain
and blah, blah, blah.
Having dislocated her shoulder, like I said,
it's the most extreme pain ever.
You know what the greatest physical thing i've like ever experienced in my life what it's the feeling of your shoulder
going back in because your body is like adrenaline sending these like nerve twitches like your whole
body's like in shock like i remember when i did it once i was like i could barely walk because i
was just like my body was spasming.
But then when it goes in, it's like this strange.
Like satisfaction.
Yeah, but like it's like a beautiful calm.
Imagine scratching an itch times a million, you know,
and then the adrenaline just like it almost like it washes off you
and you'll never be more calm and relaxed and in peace than that feeling.
So when she goes, oh, she died in pain, I go, actually, nah.
She probably didn't.
It's the opposite.
And it's maybe not something you need to feel bad about for five years
and hold on to.
Yeah, I think that they didn't do anything malicious.
No.
Like the two people that we're talking about here,
they didn't kill
someone they didn't you know give her the wrong medicine or you know like there's a lot of things
that could go wrong as a nurse right that if you are overworked and understaffed and stuff
i don't i don't think you need to feel bad about that was was there you probably don't know this but like just going through my mind at
the moment is like was there anything else that could have like was the woman already
kind of dying from something else i've left a few details out but the the ward she was the old lady
was in was like palliative care it was towards the end of her life so it was sort of if it wasn't
today it might have been tomorrow kind of vibe.
Right.
So.
No, I don't think I can understand why you feel really scared about that.
Yeah.
And I think it was nice of them to tell the family, like, she was at, even though at the time she wasn't really sure.
Because, like, the family, like, this is awful.
But at that time, it doesn't make any difference to this lovely old lady.
But the family, like, they live forever thinking about
when their mum or grandma passed away.
So I think it was not that, you know.
But, like, legally, don't they have to write down?
So we're not, we are not, we don't know who this type,
like, we're not defending anyone.
We're just talking about this.
You've got a U-turn. No, just because I don't want anyone to be like, oh, well, that's okay. I don't know who this type, like we're not defending anyone. We're just talking about this. You've done a U-turn.
No, just because I don't want anyone to be like,
oh, well, that's okay.
I don't think she's done anything wrong.
What about this?
Well, actually, I don't know who it is.
But like, but legally, don't you need to like,
wouldn't you need to like cite that that had happened or?
If I'd.
No time for paperwork in there?
I'm guessing if you pulled someone's arm out of a socket,
you'd probably mention that song.
But I could also 100% appreciate not wanting to.
Question.
God forbid this is your family member, right?
Yep.
Would you rather know that that had happened or would you rather not know?
Well, the family I asked, the nurse, was she at peace?
Yeah.
And so what's the alternative?
Actually, no.
She had a horrible death and her arm was laying on the floor.
Yeah.
Don't lie to me.
Yeah, lie to me.
Yeah.
I feel like exactly what I said,
I think that that's the right thing to do by the family.
If it had been something more serious, then obviously like legally,
like you fucking have to say something.
But I think, yeah, I really feel bad for the woman,
but I feel bad for the tapper who's confessed this anonymously.
Well, it's a big weight to be – sorry, how?
Sorry, anonymously.
Sorry, that was a fucking struggle.
I'm very – I'm really taken abackack and I don't really know what to say
because there's obviously like legal implications
of these kinds of things happening slash going wrong.
But I can, is there, and you don't have to say what it is
and it obviously won't be as significant as this,
but is there like anything that has been a weight
on your shoulders for like a long time that might not have need to
have been and it wasn't a big deal but just something that just pops up in your memory
annoyingly from time to time i parked my car in a really shit spot and ended up like crashing in a
car park like when i was really young and it's just like I backed into a thing and I was just like so dumb because I parked in the weird
and I just was really new to driving.
Yeah.
And still I'll like think about it and just cringe.
Yeah, right.
How old am I?
35.
17 years ago.
Fuck.
And I'll just go, oh, fuck, that was dumb.
I should have just gone the other way.
Yeah.
And it's just this dumb weight that I always go, oh, what have I?
I've definitely done dumb stuff.
Like I'm not going to fucking say that I haven't.
I've also, you know, like backed into a bollard in a fucking car park.
Remember the first time you met my mum and you drove into the tree
in the driveway?
Yeah, drove into the tree in her house, yeah, in my old car obviously,
not my new one.
Mate, you would have burned that tree down.
How dare you touch my outing
Fuck off
The thing about me is
I actually can't hold on to stuff
Because it makes me physically sick
So if something bothers me
It festers
And I actually can't live my life
Do you think that's maybe why
This tarpa has gone on just needed to say someone yeah
it's been festering because so even like even yeah something as small as yet driving into something
i'd get home and go mom i did something really stupid and like you know it would be easy to like
not tell her or whatever but i just needed to like say it and so to answer your question do i have
anything like that i've obviously done dumb shit,
but there's nothing that I haven't been truthful about or like shared with
somebody or whatever, because I actually,
I get physically ill if I lie and if I, you know,
I just can't hang on to stuff.
Tonyandryan.com.au.
Look for the confessions button.
Yeah.
Keep them coming.
Lost arms and jizzing on Pigeons.
Bit of a U-turn between the two, wasn't it?
Yeah, a bit light and shade.
Hey, it's Taylor from Adelaide and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. I must shout out to a few of our champion tapas over at our Patreon.
Kylie McGugan, thank you so much.
Gabrielle Svensson, Crystal Roxas, Andrew Duncanson,
and Nicole Hathaway.
Nicole Hathaway.
Beautiful woman.
Thank you very much, everyone, for being here today.
Make sure you hit the follow button on the Spotify app.
It really helps out you to find us, helps out us on the back end.
Everyone's a winner.
Show me your back end.
Mate, it would be an honour and a privilege.
Now, Tony earlier tried to say a very powerful quote about grudges.
Cam, who's working with us, Cam, can you show Tony that quote
on the computer screen so you can read it out?
Okay, so I made up some bullshit. Don't know what I said. Cam, who's working with us, Cam, can you show Tony that quote on the computer screen so you can read it out? Okay.
So I made up some bullshit.
Don't know what I said.
But the actual beautiful quote is,
holding on to anger is like drinking poison
and expecting the other person to die.
Yep.
That lovely, eloquent, beautiful thing is what I meant before
when I said, you know that thing about the poison
and the ding-dong and the whatever?
Yeah.
Is it fair to say, though?
I'm glad you all knew what I was trying to get across.
Yeah, we got you.
We got you.
You're an author.
Okay, can we just be honest with each other?
We can all agree that we read that quote and go 100% correct.
It makes sense, right?
But, like, it's easy to read a quote.
It's hard to actually let go.
Easier said than done.
Yeah.
You know?
For example.
This is fucking honesty hour, this podcast today.
Yeah, okay.
I played volleyball for the state of Victoria in the under 15s team,
and we went to the national championships,
and I was in the All-Australian, and we won.
That's amazing.
In under 17s, I was All-Australian, we went to national championships,
and we won.
Yeah, amazing.
In under 16s, the year in between, I was left off the team,
and they didn't win.
Now, I'm not saying I hold a grudge and I know the coach
who select the team doesn't give a fuck 20 years later,
but I still remember.
Yeah, so under 16s.
Yeah.
No Ryan in the team.
You're under 16.
Yeah.
How old are you now?
35.
Yeah, great.
Okay, just wanted to, you know.
I'll tell you what really irked me.
For the record, everybody.
The national championships that year for the first time I think ever
were in Darwin because it's usually like Melbourne, Sydney.
Yeah, that'd be fucking hot.
It'd be fucking hot but, like, you know,
the guys had a day off and went to, like, the swimming holes
and, like, you're up there for a few weeks training or whatever.
So you missed the little holidays.
Yeah.
And so now when people are like, oh, have you been to Northern Territory?
It's beautiful.
I go, no, I fucking haven't.
You could go now.
My sister lives there.
She'll have you.
Yeah, I'll go drop in.
Yeah.
So I guess just in honesty hour, like I'm not angry about it,
but I also haven't forgotten, you know what I mean?
Do you know why you got left off?
Like did you not pass an audition?
Feed a kid in the gym, folks.
So what happened at the volleyball concert?
Yes.
Well, I pulled out the violin while I was trying to do a jump serve.
Yeah.
So, yeah, the audition.
Oh, the tryouts maybe.
Nice.
I was an emergency.
Fuck, that's backhanded, isn't it? Just not choose an emergency which is just just not choose me second string just not choose me but you know the annoying thing about emergency i had to go to training for
a year and then they're like well thanks training bro no one got injured so all the best if someone
did get injured what were they going to do like emergency send you to darwin did you at least get
to go to the northern territory i've never been i still have never been to the northern territory
so you did but if you were backup, what if like an accident happened
while they were up there?
Oh, well, you've got players on the bench.
Oh, so I thought you meant on the bench.
You weren't even on the bench.
I've never been to the Northern Territory.
No, no, no, but like I thought that's what that meant.
Oh, Tony's a bit tired.
Let's call the guy in Victoria and flame up.
Well, don't be an arsehole.
That's why I'm asking.
I thought it was a fucking audition, okay? Let's all chill out. Well, don't be an arsehole. That's why I'm asking. I thought it was a fucking audition.
Okay, let's all chill out.
Yeah, no, no.
Well, there's a team of 10 and there's six on the court.
So they've always got four spares.
Well, subs.
And then through the game you rotate through and take a breather and stuff.
So you weren't even that.
No, I was number 11 out of 10, which is not a good place to be.
So what happened in your audition?
Did you fuck it up?
They just picked someone else who is probably just as good.
I mean, you know.
Apparently not.
Well, they didn't fucking win, did they?
Anyway, I've moved on.
Are you sure they didn't just verse a really good team?
Well, it's the same team as last year and the next year.
Oh, yeah.
Because you all grew up playing against the same people.
Yeah, except that obviously you weren't there. Well, I mean. Yeah. I mean. You didn't say. Yeah, yeah. Because you all grew up playing against the same people. Yeah. Except that, obviously.
Look, who's to say? You weren't there.
Well, I'm in.
Yeah.
I'm in.
You didn't say.
Yeah, I'm in.
Who's to say?
Yeah.
Who's to say?
What's the quote again?
Like I said, the coach isn't sitting there going, oh, if I'd have picked Ryan 15 years
ago, you know, that ain't gonna be shit.
He might be.
I have a question.
Question.
About grudges.
Do you know what it is?
No.
Tony Lodge.
Is there anything you'd like to say about the Australian Children's Choir?
Last week on the show, someone meant,
because in the Qantas ads, the Australian airline carrier,
these famous ads of the Australian children's choir,
and there's children like on the top of the Sydney Harbour Bridge
at beautiful beaches, and they're singing
I Still Call Australia Home, which is a beautiful song.
And it fucking makes me cry every time I see them.
They're like beautiful ads.
It's beautiful.
And so, Tony, you were in school choirs and sang all of childhood
and went to a singing school.
I was actually the choir captain.
Is it, even if they're not like out loud about it,
is it sort of every choir kid's dream to be in the Australian Children's Choir?
Is that like the pinnacle of choir singing?
A hundred percent.
So last week I asked you a question about the Australian Children's Choir.
And can I just reenact your answer?
Mm-hmm.
Hey, Tony, with the Australian Children's Choir.
Well, I wouldn't know because I wasn't picked.
So I don't know.
I can't answer your questions.
And then I said, ooh, I think this is something we need to talk about.
Well, it's nothing to talk about because I wasn't picked in the team.
Well, I wasn't in the Australian children's choir,
so I wouldn't know.
I wouldn't know anything.
Ask fucking someone else.
Were there – so how did you go – where's the point where you're the captain of the choir?
Yeah.
So I was the choir captain in year 12.
Yeah.
So by that time I was probably too old to be in the,
I don't even know how, maybe it's like up to 16 or something maybe.
Explain to me the journey.
Like do you go from like a school choir to like a regional choir,
maybe a state choir and then get like, you know,
what's the process to get from some school
into the Australian Children's Choir?
And where in that process did you or did you not get to?
Well, I'm guessing.
I actually don't intimately know how you get in, obviously,
because I don't.
But so I was in the choir from year five.
Yep.
So how old are you in year five?
You turned 10?
Yeah.
And then I was the choir captain when I was in year 12,
which is you're, what, 16 turning 17?
Yep.
Ish.
That's a lot of choiring.
Yeah, so that's a lot of choiring.
I also studied classical voice at school.
I did opera and, yep, I was very good as well.
Got a few solos.
Really?
Sang, like always was the one that was like singing
at the school events and stuff.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And then one of my singing teachers at one stage was married
to the guy who was head of the West Australian Youth Orchestra,
the WAO.
Okay.
Is this what I'm talking about?
Maybe like a gateway music?
Well, yeah.
And so I was kind of like, oh, you don't know what's going on.
From the Australian Children's Choir, do you?
But I always wanted to do it and I'm guessing, and again,
I actually don't know, but all I remember is a conversation
I had with my mum.
Yeah.
God rest her soul, can't ask her now.
Yep.
I said, I want to be in the Australian children's choir.
And mum said, they only take kids from Sydney and Melbourne.
I don't think that's true.
Are you calling your mum a liar?
I don't think that that's true.
I think that maybe she went, I can't be fucked with that,
or maybe she went, you're not good enough, Tone.
We're not even going to, like, try that.
But I remember her saying to me, like, oh,
they pick kids from the eastern states because that's where all the events are,
that's where all the training is.
And they fly them to Perth to film the things instead
of just getting someone down the road.
Yeah.
And, yeah, so that's what I was told as a kid.
In the cold, harsh light of day, and maybe it's sort of similar
to what we were talking about before with old mate in the hospital.
Yeah.
Would you rather have been told that than just like you're shit?
And you obviously weren't shit because you were in the choir.
But you know what I mean?
Yeah.
Is that like an easy thing to tell a child?
Well, yeah, and I feel like maybe.
Do you respect that?
Or in my side you're like I would have rather
have just fucking been told.
Well, I just want to know why I didn't get to try.
But also maybe that is the, I've never really looked,
I was just like, oh, okay, I'll take my mum's word for it
and like move on with my life.
But it's like upsetting because I would have loved to do it i would have loved to be in the
australian children's choir when you saw those beautiful quantus ads filmed in outback western
australia and esperance and and they still great barrier yeah they still you'd still be getting
royalties yeah they still use them now in like the safety videos and stuff it's like the kids
in the white outfit and they're on top of the fucking all the bloody bits around australia so now i know how rich and money hungry
you are when you say you cry when you hear that song are you crying because you wanted to be in
the choir are you crying about all the royalties you haven't received over the last 29 years
i mean think of the commissions baby okay no I'm absolutely saying it's because it's beautiful.
Don't fucking money signals me on a podcast.
No, no, it's definitely that it is fucking lovely.
But is it 95% beautiful and 5%?
Yeah.
That could have been me.
Bit of jealousy.
You know, this is inside chat, but you know Loz,
who we both used to work with at Hit WA?
Loz Kelly?
Yeah.
She was in the Australian Children's Fight.
She's from Western Australia.
Oh, my God.
She is too.
I know.
She's from Baselton.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
I forgot she was in it because her husband, Jack, and I.
Yeah.
And when you said, I thought she was.
Yeah.
And she's from Western Australia.
Oh, my God.
Your mum's a liar.
Oh, God.
Oh.
That's really upsetting, isn't it?
What's the age limit?
Is it too late now?
Do you?
And I'm looking at Cam because when I say I'll do this for you,
what I mean is Cam might help me with it.
Would you like, even if it is a bit late, an audition?
I'd love my chance.
I'd love my chance.
Do you reckon that's something we could do, Cam?
He's just looking at a laptop shake in his head.
He's fucking right, eh?
But I will say, actually, it maybe doesn't look good
because I actually applied to be in the Melbourne Indie Choir this year.
This year?
Yeah.
So there's like an adult Melbourne Indie Choir
and they have not accepted me.
When did you do that?
You kept that on the wraps?
No, well, because I was like, I'll wait until I get in.
But you fucking wait a while.
Yeah, so I applied and they do it like it's,
they say on the website that because of like a long list,
but you have not been accepted.
Maybe you're still on the list of the Australian Children's Club.
They go, hey, you applied in 2001. Or they just call me and they go, oh, we'd love to have you. And I go list of the Australian Children's Club. Hey, you applied in 2001.
Or they just call me and they go, oh, we'd love to
have you. And I go, well, I'm now 29. They go, oh, so
sorry then. And that's just like
how they get away with it.
We don't hold grudges
here. No, we're over it.
We're over it.
I've been to cities
that never closed down.
So you didn't fucking get in.
From New York to Rome and old London town.
No matter how far or how wide I roam.
I roam I still call
Australia
home
We've gotten in!
We're fucking on!
We'll start our own!
Fuck those kids, we're way better.
That's not my love to see, but I do love to see
an impromptu performance of I Still Call Australia.
Yeah, very good. What is your love to see an impromptu performance of my song called Australian. Yeah, very good.
What is your You Love To See today?
I have a film recommendation.
Sorry, I'm emotional from singing that song.
That's fucking hit me.
You've got fucking tears in your eyes.
I know, I'm about to cry.
It is honestly like such a point of Australian pride.
Like I'm actually not even joking.
I'm going to cry.
It's fucking beautiful.
There's tears in my eyes.
Yeah, it is honestly in my...
Or maybe I'm crying because of how awful my singing is.
Can we please put an Australian children's choir Qantas ad in episode three for today?
It's stunning.
Because you'll laugh, you'll cry, it'll change your life.
Yep.
Bring it back up.
Actually, this movie recommendation, I just watched it.
As everyone knows, I'm now a Shaka Surfer girl.
I watched watched it. As everyone knows, I'm now a Shaka's surfer girl. I watched this movie. It's an Australian
indie film made by
not Chris Hemsworth,
not Liam Hemsworth, but
Luke Hemsworth. It's this
surfing movie. It's called Bosh and Rocket.
Fuck you and Torbs and your surfing movies.
Oh yeah, we're so into surfing.
Honestly, we watched
Blue Crush last night
and that's not even available on any streaming services.
We talked about it last week, so you ended up paying for it.
I paid for it on Apple.
It was $4.99 for the 48-hour fucking rental,
so I can watch it a couple more times.
Yeah, give it a crack of salvo.
But this movie, Bosch and Rocket, it's new on Netflix.
I don't know if it'll be available everywhere,
but it's like an indie film they made,
and it's now gone fucking gangbusters.
It won a couple of awards and stuff like that.
It is about this dad and his son and them like being surfers together
and obviously there's like drug-based drama and like, you know,
it's like it's quite sad, but it's an amazing Australian movie
and it was like, yeah, made on low budget.
There's a Hemsworth in it and he's fucking great, you know.
It's a really good movie. That's my recommendation. Australian. There's a Hemsworth in it and he's fucking great. You know, it's a really good movie.
That's my recommendation.
Australian, there's a Hemsworth in it.
It's surfing.
I mean, if it's fucking Australian, you can just assume that there's a Hemsworth in it.
Yep.
But that's my recommendation for the day.
It's a really good movie.
That's awesome.
Here's a tweet that I reckon I see the same tweet do the viral rounds twice a year.
Not the viral rounds.
Yep.
You know, it comes up and I go, oh, but I always just read it and love it every time.
And it's by a guy named Rod.
Hi, Rod.
In 1992, I was 12 years old.
My dad and I were in the Newark airport and I saw Joe Pesci.
And I recognised him. Who's that?
He's one of the bad guys in Home Alone, which is what my generation would know him as.
But then the generation older, I think he was in Goodfellas, The Godfather.
He was in a lot of gangster movies.
Casino he's in.
Right, okay.
But it's funny because then we know him.
Oh, yep, yep, yep.
Our producer came to show me.
So the thing, it's so funny because our generation goes, oh, Home Alone.
But obviously my dad's like, he's from those gangster movies.
And you're talking about that kids thing.
Anyway, he goes up to him and says, oh, hey, Joe,
can I get an autograph?
And Joe said, hey, kid, who's your favorite actor?
And he goes, oh, you are.
And then Joe Pesci hands me a crisp $100 bill and goes,
that's the correct answer, kid.
I signed his thing and gave him $100.
Oh, that's fucking smooth, As.
How fucking good is that?
And every time I read that, I just go, how cool is Joe Pesci?
It's probably his last $100.
Well, Joe Pesci's broke now.
Yeah.
Every kid in the airports is cleaning him out.
I was going to say, he didn't make that much money from Home Alone, but.
He's not getting bloody child choir royalties.
No one is, mate.
Thanks for bringing that up.
No, you loved it.
That's fucking kids going up to celebrities.
Like, that's really, it's wholesome.
That's fucking adorable.
And it's nice that he gave him the time of day.
He didn't just tell him to fuck off, you know?
I said you were, and he handed me a crisp $100 and said,
that's the right answer, kid.
Love that.
That almost feels like a Hollywood moment in itself.
That's a cool move.
Yeah.
That's fucking, that's smooth.
Joe Pesci is cool.
Also, like back in the day, you had cash on you.
What are you going to do now?
Be like, do you have a tile that I could like, you know, the square thing?
Was it check or savings?
Yeah, sorry.
I actually don't have any cash, dude.
But I've got this fucking paper straw for my coffee.
Would you like that?
It's an extra 3% if you use card.
Yeah, search card. You're not using
Amex IR. You can't use that here.
Not on this economy.
Thank you so much for listening.
Tomorrow on the show... I've got
something that's going to fire everyone up.
Really? Yep.
You'll be fired up. You're going to be fired up.
It's fireable. It's a fireable
offence.
Fire yourselves up. Tomorrow. And a pinch in up. It's fireable. It's a fireable offence. Fire yourselves up.
Tomorrow.
And a pinch in the punch for the first day of Feb.
We'll chat to you then.
Love you.
Bye.