Toni and Ryan - Hoovering The Duvet
Episode Date: March 29, 2023Normal or Nah and your feedback on my new favourite move - the THUMBS DOWN. Love ya! Toni xo Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Plus you can f...ind the links to order Toni's book here! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Discussion (0)
Welcome to the podcast. Hello. My name is Ryan. This is author Tony Lodge. It is. And we are
calling Georgia. Georgia. The state, not the country. Oh, sorry. Or the person. Or the person.
And it's Julia Ann. Julia. Julia Ann. What a beautiful name.
Hello?
Hello, is that Julia Ann?
It is.
It's Tony and Ryan. We're just wondering if you'll approve the podcast.
Of course I will.
Yes, you!
Hi, this is Julia Ann from Georgia, and I approve this podcast.
Yeah. Hi, this is Julia Ann from Georgia and I approve this podcast.
Alright, coming up today, big day actually.
Big day.
Tonight we're in Adelaide.
6pm at the Mall Balls.
The Mall Balls at 6. Sunday, no, Saturday we'll be 6pm at the Mall Balls. The Mall Balls at 6.
Sunday, no, Saturday we'll be in Sydney at the Sydney Opera House.
More details on that coming up as well.
Plus, after yesterday, Tony, you introduced us to the concept of not giving the bird anymore but giving the thumbs down.
Thumbs down.
There's a lot of correspondence and feedback and updates.
I'm glad because it was one of my prouder things until like obviously you guys you know knocked cut me off what do they
say cut me off at the knees because i said would that be a great idea it'd be really hurtful and
then you both did it to me so well i would argue that doing to you is basically saying yes tony
great idea yeah it does work so it was a supportive thumbs down. Thank you.
You're welcome. But yeah, there's some
new ideas being thrown
around by the tarpons.
Oh, a couple of women's days as well.
Don't make me
lower these thumbs.
That was quite funny. No. That was actually
quite funny. I will point them to the core of the earth.
New idea. It's a women's magazine in Australia.
For anybody that doesn't know.
But first, let's do normal or nah.
These are all submitted by Tarpers in our Facebook group
and through Patreon so you can send through yours.
Callie.
Hi, Callie.
Callie says,
Even though it doesn't affect my vision at all,
when driving in tricky or unfamiliar territory,
I must turn the music off so I can see properly.
I can't see if there's music playing.
Is this normal or nah?
Normal.
Yeah?
100% normal.
Because you like to pump the tunes in the Audi, though.
Oh, I do.
I'm a music car person.
Yeah.
Like, I wouldn't drive.
There is no drive too short for me to, like, queue up a few songs.
So, Tony leaves, would you say, 26 metres from the supermarket?
Yeah.
And so, you'll get in, queue some songs up for the drive,
drive across the street and park and be like,
oh, Miley Cyrus killed it.
If I'm doing my big shop and I need the car, yeah.
Yeah.
I would do that.
And how do you go when you get into this?
Like, will you music off when you get to the shopping centre?
I normally wind it down before I have to wind my window down.
So no one can hear what you're blaring?
Well, yeah, just because I find that super obnoxious.
And because at Vic Gardens there's, or at most,
like when you park into the parking lot,
if someone's like trying to talk on the intercom,
imagine being the arsehole that's like got your music blaring and they're trying to be like, the thing won't
let me out or whatever.
And you're sitting there being like, downtown!
We're going through a Macklemore phase at the moment.
Yeah, but 100% normal.
I always wind the music down when I'm like trying to search for an address or something.
I just get overstimulated otherwise.
I can't concentrate.
So my partner, Bridget, is very like, I guess, interested and curious.
You know how like the economy is bad and all this stuff.
So with politics and economics, she has like a lot of questions.
And sometimes on a Sunday morning at 6am, she'll think that's a great, she'll be like on her phone and be like,
hey Ryan, what's the deal with the monetary policy going on here?
And how does that affect the house?
And it's like, that's not the time.
So when we're parking, for some reason,
she thinks that's a great time to go.
So when the government reckons they're going to do this in 2024,
does that mean that this, and I was like,
actually I'm trying to park the car.
I can only do this right now. Ask me in 30 seconds. don't get on your high horse about men not being able to multitask
and then fucking put this shit on me yeah you know i can't do two things at once during like
when the car's in reverse shut the fuck up yep that should be actually a universal rule you know
when you're a kid and your mom says oh it's illegal to put the lights on in the car?
It should be fucking, your mum should tell you that it's illegal to talk while the car's in reverse.
I don't think an episode of this podcast has gone by
without us discovering a new lie told by your mother.
No, this is like an online thing.
Everybody, like, so you know how when,
if you would turn on the light, your mum would go,
don't, like, you can't do that.
No.
Okay, this is like a universal online
thing. But illegal?
Producer Cam,
sorry, I just need to ask, did your mum
ever tell you that or have you seen this online?
She wasn't quick enough to say, turn the fucking light off!
Yep. It's a
real thing. What was the name of your book?
I Don't Need Therapy
and Other Lies I've Told Myself. I think
the follow-up book, and this is perfect, is like, insert lie here, and other lies I've told myself. I think the follow-up book, and this is perfect,
is like, insert lie here, and other lies my mum told me.
The thing is, though, that this wasn't only my mum.
This is mums around the world.
Well, if mums around the world were jumping off cliffs, would you?
Just because everyone else is lying doesn't mean she's not lying.
No, no, no, I know, but that's a better thing to tell people.
That's a great follow-up book, though, isn't it?
Well, I'm not writing another book.
There's no fucking way.
Yeah.
Normal or nah?
Oh, this is fucked.
And you fucking fuck you, you do this.
Sorry, I've come out of the guns hot today.
Wow.
I'm defensive about illegal moves in the car park.
Okay.
Girls plucking their partner's eyebrows.
Jordan asks, this real natural feminine urge, is it normal or nah?
Normal.
Now, I actually have an issue here with Jordan because when she says their partner's eyebrow, no.
It could be colleagues.
Business partner.
Co-host.
We're sitting next to each other and you're like, can I just...
It was in the car and the lighting in the car just,
as you're driving through the sunlight caught this fucking six metre long
eyebrow hair that you had.
It was taller than you are and it was like poking out of your face.
I think it comes from a place of being like,
I would want you to tell me if I had a big eyebrow sticking out.
Well, where's the line between telling and you just being like,
just tell me and just ripping it out of my face?
I think there's a video.
That's friendship.
Yeah.
I think that's a true relationship if I could do that.
Can anyone else let me know if this is normal?
This is just a personal sidebar.
A personal normal or nah?
Someone else let me know if this is normal.
This is just a personal sidebar.
A personal normal, Anna.
My grey eyebrows seem to find the need to grow at four times the pace of the regular coloured eyebrows.
And so it's always like brown, brown, brown,
and then this long, girthy white one.
And they're always more painful because the follicle is like
a fucking bulb of garlic.
It's huge.
They pulled out a whole tree with a root system.
Yeah.
It's so gnarly.
But I'm, so I'm getting like, I've got greys obviously in my hair because I'm a person.
Yeah.
And like, they kind of come in at the same, on the same spot on either side in here.
And cause my hair is like dark at the moment.
I've never really noticed them
because my hair was always like dyed blonde does blonde and especially like a what's it called when
it's not like a straight color it's like like foils yeah and highlights does that kind of the
gray is just kind of just kind of all like camouflages itself so you're noticing more now
that you've got the darker hair now that my hair's like one colour almost. But I'm noticing them.
And because I thought the same thing.
I was like, how is the grey hair shorter than the rest of like.
But I think it's that.
It's a newbie.
It's new.
And it's coming out of nowhere.
And it's fucking growing at the speed of light.
Yeah.
Fuck this podcast.
Aged about 10 years in the last five minutes.
But I'm here for it.
Or it's a new age.
Where like, you know how people say, oh, Nue oh you're a new rich but we're new old people i'm just realizing oh yeah shit washing your duvet or if you're not a freak it obviously
call it a doona um emma says i wash the top sheet and the fitted sheet because it's the only actual thing that touches my body.
Until I mentioned it at work the other day, I didn't realize people actually wash the duvet cover as well.
Is washing it normal or nah?
Normal.
Absolutely normal.
Yeah.
I get her theory, but still like...
Your arms, like you're still like touching it and asleep in it.
Have you ever sat on the end of your bed while you put your shoes on
or got railed or something?
Obviously don't have a dog in your house as well.
Because like ours gets covered in like grime from like Pip getting on the bed.
Does she get on the bed?
Yeah.
We have the pet steps.
I knew that was coming.
Yeah.
So she's got foam pet steps.
And when producer Cam babysat and house sat for us,
the pet steps were there and he was like, they're a real thing.
Yeah.
I just thought this was comedy.
But no, they're a real thing.
But yeah, so it gets grimy.
Do you know what someone said to me once?
Because I hate a top sheet.
So we have fitted sheet and then a doona on the top.
Couldn't agree more.
It's the best way to live.
The only way to live, actually.
And someone said to me once, oh, I think that's fine,
but it just means you've got to wash your doona cover more.
And I was like, are we not doing?
Like, because that's the only thing touching my body.
Like, why?
But they were kind of like, oh, well, that's fine because you've just got to do that more.
I was like, well, yeah.
Wouldn't you be washing it the same amount anyway
because you're fucking popping them all in the same time?
The reason I don't exercise is because I have to shower every week.
Yeah.
Are you washing that grey hair?
Also, just calling a doona a duvet. Oh, it's very English, isn't it? Do you think you're better grey hair? Also, just calling a doona
a duvet. Oh, it's very English,
isn't it? Do you think you're better than me?
Yeah. Do you think you're fancier than me?
It's like when people say hoover.
It kills me. What do you mean?
It fucking kills me. You know when people
say, oh, I've just got to do the hoovering.
Like the hoovering. I hate that.
What's a hoovering? The hoovering is like vacuuming.
It's a vac...
No.
I know.
Well, you don't have to fucking tell me.
You drive to work.
You don't Audi to work.
Oh, can I have a Kleenex to, you know...
Maybe you should start Audi-ing to work.
I mean, you are, but like start saying that.
Oh, yeah.
I'm not going to do that.
Make it a noun?
Verb.
An adjective.
Verb.
Verb.
Close. So a noun is a adjective. Verb. Verb. Close.
So a noun is a person, place or thing.
Adjective is a describing word and a verb is a doing word.
Fucking righto.
Give me a year three teaching job.
I'd love to do year three English again.
Maybe you should.
But I fucking hate it when people say hoovering.
Same.
Duvet pisses me off, but hoovering like really gets me.
Josie said, I'm Australian, but when I hear an Australian accent on an American TV show,
I cringe up and want to vomit.
It's awful, isn't it?
It fucking is, eh?
Do we really sound like that, says Josie?
Is being embarrassed by our own accent normal or nah?
Normal.
It's just like when you're watching TV and it's all these beautiful American accents.
And because all TV is American pretty much, you just get so used to it.
And then you hear an Australian accent and you go, what the fuck is happening?
Because we hear Australian accents in Australia every day. All the time. It's so normal. But when you hear it out of context, you go, what the fuck is happening? Because we hear Australian accents in Australia every day.
All the time.
It's so normal.
But when you hear it out of context, you go, fuck, that does.
Like when you hear an Australian tourist when you're overseas.
I was literally about to say,
you never run faster in the other direction
than when you hear another Aussie overseas.
And you go, doesn't that guy sound like a fuckhead?
And then you go, I probably sound like that to him.
But they're always Yahooing.
Like, I don't think I've ever come across another Aussie tourist while i've been away that has i haven't been like we're not with
them you know like you always feel like you have to justify the fact that you're not together when
we go to america later in the year do you reckon other australians are going to steer the fuck
of us for this same reason because we're going to be those annoying, disgusting, obnoxious Australians.
And we're going to be filming everything.
Yeah.
Plus I plan on buying more merch than you've ever seen in your life.
If there is an I Love New York t-shirt not purchased in October,
something's gone wrong. Honestly, the bank's going to call me and be like, what has gone on?
Hey, Tony, someone's stolen your card and spent $15,000 on sporting merchandise.
And you don't like sport, but there's lots of like cheese hats and foam fingers.
And I love New York t-shirts.
I don't know what a cheese hat is, but I want to find out.
A Liberty, Statue of Liberty hat.
Oh yeah, I want that so bad.
I want that so bad.
And a GoPro and a selfie stick.
Was that you?
Yeah, could have been.
Thanks for calling, though.
How have you been?
Thanks for checking in.
Yeah, don't call me with that shit Australian accent, though.
I'm trying to enjoy my time in America.
While I've got you those, you might up my credit card limit.
Yeah, how are we looking there?
Can I put that on points?
Hi, this is Julia Ann from Georgia,
and you're listening to Tony and Ryan.
A massive shout out to a few of our champion tapas over at our Patreon.
You can check it out at any time you like.
All of the information is in our show notes.
But a big thank you to Diana Cripps.
Thank you very much.
Megan Hardidge.
Victoria Farrow.
Hannah Damo.
Bloody love you, Hannah.
Thank you.
Alexander Logan.
And Pete's Shitty Bathroom Towers Limited.
Thanks, Pete. Thanks, Pete.
And the guys down at Shitty Bathroom Towers Limited.
Yeah.
Tell them Tony and Ryan sent you up there 10% off.
On Saturday, the 1st of april a young western australian girls dream will be coming true
tony lodge grew up dreaming of singing i still call australia home in the infamous
qantas commercials after being brutally rejected by the National Girls Youth Choir.
At 29.
At the age of 29.
You've decided to film it yourself.
Yep.
Fuck it.
Let's do it.
So this Saturday morning, now it's really, we looked at the map of the calendar and we're
like, okay, here we go and here and blah, blah, blah, blah.
We didn't really click that it's on April 1st.
It is on April Fool's Day. It is not an April Fool's gag. We don't do pranks. We didn't really click that it's on April 1st. It is on April Fool's Day.
It is not an April Fool's gag.
We don't do pranks.
We don't do pranks.
Like, we actually don't do that.
We would not do that to somebody.
The worst episode of this thing that happened was an accidental prank
when Tony thought she was going to be in Architectural Digest.
That felt pranky only because I didn't think you'd believe me.
Okay, please don't victim blame me.
No, but since then, we just want to make it abundantly clear
that we don't do stitch-ups and pranks.
We would not do that.
Pull my finger.
That's not our thing.
We would never, ever stitch people up like that.
So it's a real deal.
This Saturday at 9am.
White shirt, white button-up shirt if possible.
But I'll just accept a white shirt.
Because the reality is that everyone is going to be in this wide shot
choir. So we won't see
the exact buttons on your shirt. But we will
see, hopefully, a sea
of white shirts, black pants.
And all you need to do is...
Should we do the three of us? Just the final three lines?
Yep.
I still call Australia
home.
Three lines? Three lines?
Three.
Three lines?
Oh, sorry.
But that's not what they're going to do.
Yeah, that's what we need for three lines.
Is it?
Yeah.
No, aren't they just in the last line?
Well, we'll edit around it.
Sure.
Oh, okay.
Sorry.
But just get a bit of momentum.
Oh, sorry.
Yeah.
I see what you're saying.
Yeah.
All right.
We haven't practiced.
So it'll sound, all you need to do is say,
I still call Australia.
I still call Australia.
I still call Australia.
That was not great, but a pretty good harmony.
Oh, I thought you were going to say that.
That wasn't awful.
Yeah, yeah.
Cam did the low fifth, which is lovely.
But as you can tell, that last line is the real hero line,
which is why we need a lot of people to back Tony up and make this real.
And I'm willing to share the spotlight, so people better come down.
For the last bit.
It's all Tony before then.
But you just said it's the hero line.
Yeah, it's the hero line.
Yeah, so I'm willing to share the spotlight,
but people just have to come and do it.
Caitlin, I will absolutely see you there.
Jordan Cunningham.
See you there, Caitlin.
I will be there, says Jordan.
Jordan, see you then.
Chris Kelly said,
I'll be there with my white shirt, black pants,
and gorgeous locks.
Love that.
See you then.
Want what hair to expect?
Ian, are you fucking kidding me?
Isn't Ian, are you fucking kidding me, in Brisbane?
Is driving from Brisbane.
He's already made a road trip playlist.
Yeah, round of applause.
He's driving from Brisbane?
Yeah.
Why didn't he just fly?
Oh, sorry, mate.
We all.
With Qantas.
Well, that's the whole thing.
Well, the irony of.
Yeah, see, you're about to be a dick to me.
The irony of us flying there, paying for our own flights on Qantas to film a fucking ad
for them that they're.
No, the ad's not for Qantas.
No, it's for a girl's dream.
The ad is for my dreams.
I made an executive decision on the fly, but I'll just run it past you.
Yeah.
Dogs?
No. Okay? No.
Okay, good.
Because Jazzy and her Aussie shepherd Merlin will also be there.
Nah.
I don't think we can do dogs.
They always say don't work with kids, don't work with dogs.
Too hard to organise.
No dogs.
Okay, I'll have to message Jazzy back and I'll let Merlin know that you hate him.
No, I don't hate Merlin. That's not what I said. That's what he thinks. Saying someone's not invited doesn't mean that you hate him. No, I don't hate Merlin.
That's not what I said.
That's what he thinks.
Saying someone's not invited doesn't mean that you don't.
Oh, it's pretty dark though.
But that's this Saturday.
Yeah.
Tonight in Adelaide.
Tonight in Adelaide, 6pm.
Tonight in Adelaide, 6pm.
No singing required in Adelaide.
No singing required.
Actually, nothing really required.
If you just come down and want to get a selfie, that's totally fine.
Yep.
But Saturday morning, 9am,
not an April Fool's gag.
And if you are listening to this podcast
maybe in the future,
because you've gone back to the beginning
and are re-listening from the beginning,
2023, April 1,
do not come if it's past then.
I'll tell you one of my favourite
new shit jokes is when
we meet someone and they go, oh, I've just found
you guys and I've gone back to the start. And I go,
oh, has Tony had the twins yet?
Yeah, it's good.
And they go, really?
And I'm like, no. And they go, oh, okay.
It's so good.
Shut the fuck up, Cam.
I think we can all agree there's nothing more cutting
and more brutal than the line of, I'm not upset.
I'm just disappointed.
Doesn't that just cut you to your fucking knees?
Yeah.
I'm actually glad that my mum can't say that to me anymore.
Yeah.
Don't worry, Cam and I can be disappointed for you.
Oh, great.
See?
Yep.
Sorry, Cam and I can be disappointed for you.
Oh, great.
See?
Yep.
Yep.
Tony and Tapa, Abby Norman yesterday introduced us to the concept of giving,
instead of giving the middle finger, you give the thumbs down.
And is it fair to say we all fucking love that?
I think it's great.
Yep.
I think it's so good. So the idea is that, like, yeah, if you're in the car,
instead of getting angry and giving someone the finger,
you go, you know what?
Mmm, thumbs down.
And it just hits them a bit, like, deeper in the soul.
Yeah, I think you're, again, 3am, wake up.
You're forcing someone to go, what am I doing?
What am I doing?
Is this what I'm doing?
Am I that person?
You know?
Renee has messaged through.
Oh, hello, Renee.
Who follows on Instagram and TikTok.
Renee's friend Kat gives people the thumbs up.
It's the same idea, but brutally sarcastic.
Nice one, fuckhead.
Yeah.
With the thumbs up.
I like that.
Chris said, yeah, the thumbs up just ruins people.
It ruins their day and probably their week. Nice. I like that. Chris said, yeah, the thumbs up just ruins people.
It ruins their day and probably their week.
Nice.
I like that, actually.
That's maybe a bit more me.
Yeah, maybe just the look on your face like, oh.
Oh, the face you just pulled was awful.
Delilah said, I just like a soft, like so soft, disappointed shake of the head.
It's as if you're so annoyed you can't even be bothered to give a full shake.
You're just like, oh.
I do that.
You would.
I do that.
Yeah.
If someone like pulls in front of me or they just like, you know,
don't indicate something, I just go.
It's a soft shake, but it's quite effective.
Well, it makes you feel better no
it is effect because i've just for like day-to-day um mishaps i've copped a few of those from you
and i can confirm like if you went off your rocket i'd be like oh fucking tony classic tony
yeah when you do that i'm like oh yeah it fucking sticks. It fucking sticks. It does hurt, doesn't it?
It's the disappointment.
Instead of someone just getting angry and you go, you're projecting,
someone having the personal strength to just go.
Nah, mate.
Yeah, it kills you.
Bree.
And I guess we're curious to know what it feels like on the other side, right?
Yeah.
Bree, I made a mistake while driving
and the other driver made direct eye contact while slowly clapping.
And it hit me right in the guts and I'm so disappointed with myself.
I would have gone home.
Three days later, every time something funny happens,
like the moment of pleasure is cut when I just remember that.
So like something happens and she's like,
oh, I remember that time yesterday when that guy clapped at me.
Like it's in her.
Yeah, that would kill you.
But to know that it is effective, but I think it's only,
the thing is, is I think it's only effective to self-aware people.
And self-aware people don't often do really dickish things on the road
because they're like aware that if you cut someone off,
like the implications that could have.
So you're saying when you say, sorry, when you say self-aware,
do you mean like if they look over and they're not aware
that they've done something shit and they see someone clapping,
they're like, oh, this guy's pretty happy with my form.
Thanks, mate.
We'll write back later.
Well, I think that like.
I think he's trying to be a dick.
Yeah.
And you just go, oh, no.
See, I would consider that like ignorance is bliss.
And it is.
Right?
Yeah.
But I think that only a self-aware person like.
Brie.
Like Brie.
Sorry, Brie. Forgot your name name for a second but only a self-aware
person like brie would go i fucked that up and that has cut me whereas if you did that to someone
who like didn't give a shit and you just went oh nice one they're not gonna actually think about
that yeah so maybe it maybe it doesn't matter because are they even gonna think about it do
they care that you're disapproving of what they've done?
Because they go, well, I don't give a shit.
I'm running late for work, so screw you.
Screw you.
Well, Brie, for being self-aware, you've been penalised.
Yeah.
And Brie, we'd like to send you a little smooch through the airwaves
because that sucks and that would really upset me for the whole week.
Through the airwaves?
I didn't realise we were doing radio on San Diego's
W... Can she not hear us?
Isn't that the radio thing? Well, the airwaves,
it's like,
isn't it all air?
It's all air. Yeah, it's going to come from
someplace. Yeah, like it's all air.
This is for me. Thank you. Shut the fuck up, Ryan.
That's a self-clap.
That's a self-clap.
Oh, I'm getting the thumbs down now
Kiki says
I'll lean
Kiki
Do you love me
Are you running
Then you're healthy
Always
She says
I'll lean right back
And get my hands up high
So they can see them
Above the steering wheel
To give the slow clap
And then I'll drop a
Well done mate
During the clap Kiki that's a fucking harsh
fucking that's wild well done mate but but no one's gonna hear the well done unless you're
in a car park or something well i just assume most of these are i wouldn't do anything in a
car park because you can't go anywhere we'll need to get that you just yell at each other
from across the concrete mound say you're doing the clap in the world unmade yeah and they are a like what's that
movie where um mad max no titanic um you just know your movies what's the movie with russell
crowe in it where he's like a psycho gladiator the beautiful mind he's like a 300 shut up
the whole movie if only you gave me a fucking second to explain what I was fucking talking about.
Well done, mate.
Thank you.
No, where he's like a crazy road rager?
Unhinged.
Imagine if you do that.
You drop the well done, mate, and the slow clap.
And then they come, they just fucking knock you out.
You're not doing that in the car park.
See, I like to be sassy, but I also like to be safe.
And that's how I live my life.
I'll only be sassy when I know
I can get the fuck out of there.
Permission to speak? Please.
Could you think... Titanic!
300!
300!
When you...
American Pie The Wedding! When you... And the song's a perfect song.
American Pie, The Wedding.
I'd like to... The worst of the American Pies.
I would like to check the tape.
Yeah.
Because you said, what's that movie called?
And it's like you asked me the question and then got fucked off because I answered it.
No.
No.
I was like, what's that movie called?
And I was trying to explain the movie.
You just started saying it.
Hey, Tony, how are you doing today?
Oh, shut the fuck up.
That is not the same thing at all.
I have a question though.
No, so if I went, oh, what's that movie called?
You're asking a question.
No, but it's like, what's that movie called?
Dot, dot, dot.
Because I was obviously going to give you like clues
to help me figure out what it was.
I thought it was like, what's that movie?
Even then, what game would that be?
Guess a movie, and that's what I was doing.
It could have been Titanic for all I know.
Well, it wasn't.
And I just am blindsided by the fact that you would just be so stupid.
Thumbs down.
I have a question.
Question.
Thumbs down.
I have a question.
Question.
Is there anyone more terrifying than to be hunting you down and being unhinged than Russell Crowe?
Especially if he had his phone on him.
Is that him?
Yeah, yeah.
Put the phone down, Russell.
That's a pop culture reference.
Yeah, from 20 years ago.
1996?
If we could find out what year that was.
I'd love to know!
No, that was Mel Gibson.
No.
Was it?
I mean, they've both thrown photos in the dark.
Yeah.
2005.
Okay.
What year were you in?
What is it now?
2023.
I was almost right.
20 years.
He's touring.
We can go see his band.
What's he doing?
He's a musician. Is he? Yeah. He's doing Melbourne in a few months's touring. We can go see his band. What's he doing? He's a musician.
Is he?
Yeah.
He's doing Melbourne in a few months.
Do you want to go see his show?
Yeah.
I think I've told this story on the podcast before
that Torbz once saw Russell Crowe in the airport.
Have I told this story before?
I think I have ages ago.
Is that it?
Yeah, literally that's it.
Torbz was eating a schnitzel in the Melbourne airport.
Russell Crowe walked past and Torbz went, oh, and like pointed at him.
And Russell went, yep, and like gave him a nod of the head and kept walking.
And every time Russell Crowe comes up, Torbs tells that story.
Oh, I met him in the airport.
We sat down at a parma together.
You fucking talked to him.
You were eating a parma and you stared at him.
You saw Russell Crowe.
Basically, you could have just been watching him on TV.
That's how close it was to fucking...
Are you telling me
that Russell Crowe and Torbs were in the
airport at the same time?
And Russell Crowe actually met someone who thought
he was Torbs' brother.
Well, I was just going to say
we learned that Torbs was a comedian last
week at the doctor. Maybe he
should also submit that story to Tony and Ryan coincidence chat.
Because that is.
It is good, isn't it?
Have I told you I've had dinner with Maggie Beer?
No.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
Is this what celebrity flex chat?
Oh, no.
But like every time she comes up in.
And so Bridget claims it wasn't her, but it just looks similar.
Oh.
But every time I think.
What do you mean?
You would know if you were sitting down with her. Well, that's what I
say. Were you sitting down with her?
Oh, no, like, she was in the restaurant.
So not that at all.
Yeah, it didn't look...
That would be like me being like, oh, she gave me a
cooking lesson because I watched her fucking show.
Like, that's not the same thing.
And then in closer inspection, I don't think it was her.
Thumbs down.
Yeah, nice work, mate.
Oh, Maggie Beer, yeah, we've had dinner with her,
except it wasn't her.
And it was a different part of the restaurant,
and it wasn't even her.
Yeah.
Fuck.
Some stories are good.
Anyway, all right.
Finally.
Hmm.
Taz has sent through the most Australian thing ever
and I haven't heard this line in probably 10 or 15 years
and it brought back all of the feels
oh here we go
when someone cuts off Taz
she leans back
gives them the thumbs up and says
onya Sonia
oh that fucking does me right.
On your Sonia is good.
I think I said that to you a little while ago.
Did you?
I think I said on your Sonia and you called me Sonia for like three weeks nonstop.
When did that happen?
Yeah, if I search Sonia in my text messages.
There's been too much Googling in this episode already.
Welcome to the We Google Shit podcast.
Look, there's three messages that come up that all say,
thanks, Sonia, and they're all matched to yours.
It's like riding a bike, Sonia.
It's one of them.
Oh, great.
Yes, that's the document I have.
Thank you, Sonia.
And thanks, Sonia.
What date today?
The 1st of, 11th of the 1st, so January this year.
Oh, that's a while long ago.
January this year and February this year, 12th of the 2nd as well.
Okay.
When I said I haven't heard it for 15 years, what I really meant was...
Time moves really slowly when you work with me,
so I'm actually going to forgive you for that one.
Oh, I'm embarrassed because I've got a weird You Love To See It
that I think you're going to...
I don't know if you're going to like it,
but I was really excited when I saw this.
Can I just...
I feel like we need some Good You Love To See. It's because
this episode has been a fucking mess.
It's a Good You Love To See, but I just think that
you're going to be like Tony Wong.
Don't make me put my thumb down because...
No, I think this is really good. I think you're just going to
think it's a little bit left to feel.
Tony Hawk.
Skateboarder. The skateboarder. Obviously
Tony Hawk. Have you ever seen Tony Hawk on Twitter and stuff,
how he always says people recognise him and they go,
you look just like Tony Hawk.
And he's like, no way.
And he takes a piss out of him.
It's so funny.
Anyway, he broke his femur,
like broke his leg really, really badly in March last year.
So a year ago, 2022.
really badly in March last year, so a year ago, 2022.
And he, yesterday, posted on Instagram that he did his first heel flip since he broke his leg.
So for a whole year, he's been, like, on a walking stick.
And he was like, I'll probably never skate again.
Because it was, like, a really, really bad break.
And he's back on the board.
He's back.
Yeah, and he posted that on his Instagram.
And everyone's getting around him like, Tony, yes,
that's so sick.
I thought,
you fucking love to see that.
You do love to see that.
You love to see that.
Tony Hawk is an institution.
You know what is
also an institution?
What?
Do you think one of the
most iconic PlayStation
games of all time
is Tony Hawk?
Yeah, 100%.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And also because
Tony Hawk,
Pro Skater,
that was for people
that weren't only into games. Like you could play that like anybody could play. And also because Tony Hawk, pro skater, that was for people that weren't only into games.
Like you could play that like anybody could play.
Well, because I'm not a gamer guy.
No.
And then because it just gets a bit ridiculous after a while.
Like you're jumping off planes and doing shit.
Yeah.
And you just have to like mash the buttons basically to do an online game.
So my gaming strategy is just move your hands.
Yeah.
And I just hit buttons.
And then you're good at it.
Yeah.
Yeah, and just like by chance.
And she like, what is like, it's like a numbers game.
Yeah.
But at one point, you're surely about going to get like a good combo that gets you the
high score.
Smash those buttons, baby.
But he's back on the board.
He's back.
He's back.
And I love to see that.
I thought that was awesome.
My love to see it is Jerry not winning Survivor.
I don't know those words.
Australian Survivor finished this week.
And Jerry is possibly...
You made fun of me before for saying the airwaves.
What are we on a radio show?
Are we on a radio show now?
Talking about Survivor.
Survivor's an institution.
What happened on maths yesterday?
I actually watch real shows.
Like Survivor.
Like Survivor.
Yeah, right. So I reckon I've watched two. Like Survivor. Like Survivor. Yeah, right.
So I reckon I've watched two seasons of Survivor,
and for some reason in the last...
I've never seen it.
For some reason in the last three weeks,
I've just sort of fallen into this season.
Sure.
But it's one of those ones I reckon you get two episodes in,
and you're like, I'm fucking in now.
I know him, and I care.
I hate that guy, but I love her.
You get sucked in.
Jerry is possibly the worst player Survivor has ever seen
and he still made it to the end.
What is worst player?
Like, because I don't actually
know the show at all. So you kind of
got to build alliances and votes. So if you
go, oh hey like Tony, if we both want to make it to
the end, let's team up and when we go to vote, we'll vote together
and make sure we get rid of those guys.
Oh, strategy.
But you have to trust them.
Yeah, but then also what will happen is like I've brought you into this alliance, but then I might blindside you.
How good's the word alliance?
Yeah.
Yeah, wow.
And so what happened?
So Jerry was fucking people over during the show?
No, he just wasn't doing anything because when it gets to the end,
all the other people in the game vote and it's basically like
who did the best game.
So even if I like snaked you, you'd be like, oh, you got me.
But like respect the play because that's what it's about.
Oh, okay.
And so Jerry just like didn't do anything.
As in just played their own game?
Just was hanging out, talking shit.
And everyone's like, oh, if you want to like make a move,
because, you know, at the end people are going to vote on the moves you made
if you haven't made any moves.
And he just didn't do anything.
So how did he get to the end?
Under the radar.
Yeah, but then people are like, well, if it comes to a vote,
they're not going to vote for him,
so I'm going to take this sucker along with me.
Because when you get to the end and you go, well, I did all this stuff.
Gerard did nothing.
Who are you going to vote for?
Oh, they get to kind of like plead why they should win at the end.
Yeah.
Oh.
Yeah.
And so not only was he the worst player ever and didn't do anything,
then they get to the speech and like, so why should you get the money?
And he's like, oh, I just, you know.
I was here.
Yeah.
I'd ate all that shit food or whatever they have to do.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And he received a total of zero votes.
And for those who are watching Australia Survivor,
it was actually quite satisfying because the whole time you're like, surely, are we missing something?
Is he going to pull this rabbit out?
It's going to be so unsatisfying.
And then when he got zero votes, I was like,
this is actually quite satisfying.
So my love to see it is Jerry losing.
So just before, I'll just refresh your memory that you said.
No, I don't need to be refreshed.
I don't need to be refreshed.
We need some good you love to say it to round out the episode.
Is that you
sticking with that
one or did you?
Did you want me to
do another one?
No, that's great.
I probably just
should have gone
second.
All right.
Thank you.
Thumbs down.
Thank you so much
for listening.
I just.
That was a shit
one.
It wasn't great.
But you tell you
who was worse? Jerry. Yeah. Fuck you, Jerry. I don't know them. They might be a shit one. It wasn't great. But you tell you who was worse?
Geri.
Yeah, fuck you, Geri.
I don't know them.
They might be a nice person.
Probably not.
Thank you so much for listening.
Again, we'll see you tonight at 6pm in Adelaide.
Thursday, what's the date today?
Thursday the 30th.
So don't come if it's not the 30th for you.
Today, that's it.
Hey, tomorrow we're talking about the first time you did the hippity-dippity.
Yeah.
That's a juicy one.
Oh, don't say juicy one.
No, no, no.
Oh, okay.
That's tomorrow on the show, though.
We'll chat to you then.
Love you, bye.