Toni and Ryan - How NOT to eat an Apple

Episode Date: February 28, 2022

How to eat an Apple, Dubbo News and Things you can say at a Pool Party and also in the Bedroom. Love ya! Toni xxx Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook ...Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hello? Hello. We're wondering if you could approve our podcast. Get fucked. Of course I can. I am Stricken from Coburg in Melbourne, and I approve this podcast. Yesterday on the show, we were testing Tony. Yeah, I caught that yesterday.
Starting point is 00:00:36 I enjoyed it, but I did feel like it was a very aggressive episode towards Tony. And I want to change my ways. Having said this, coming up, you're going to teach me how to eat an apple? Yes. You're such a fucking idiot that I'm like, let's go back to basics on this. I guess what I'm getting at is that I want to support you. Thank you. And you going, hey, I've got a great story about how to need an apple.
Starting point is 00:01:05 Hang on. I want to get around you. Hang on. I put this in the Facebook group. Yeah. And it went off. All I'm saying is I want to support you. And I brought props.
Starting point is 00:01:16 She's got an apple. I mean, I love a physical joke. Yeah. I didn't bring one last week after my sickle slash hoe got mixed up last week. That's okay. Okay. You tried. I did.
Starting point is 00:01:29 I've also bought a physical prop for this because you told me to and I know that you've forgotten. Fuck. So today we are talking about things you can say at a pool party and also in the bedroom. And what am I holding, Ryan? John? A Hawaiian shirt.
Starting point is 00:01:43 Because you called me yesterday and said, hey, how funny would it be if we got dressed up for the pool party segment? And I was like, yeah, that's great. Great idea, Ryan. Great idea, Ryan. I remember this morning I said to myself, don't you forget, when I got into your car this morning, did you know then that I didn't have it?
Starting point is 00:02:00 Well, because you had your backpack and normally you just leave stuff at work. So I was like, oh, you've obviously got stuff in there. Yes, I'm so annoyed because it's such a good idea and that looks great. Thank you. This is Torb's, obviously. Things you can say at a pool party and also in the bedroom. I think I'd feel more confident if I'd had a wax.
Starting point is 00:02:20 Don't you hate that? Body hair is everyone's choice. It's very personal. You've got body hair, you don't. All good. I just maybe would feel more confident if I had a wax. Ooh, are we here to slip and slide or stick and ride? Oh!
Starting point is 00:02:40 Both. Thank you. I'll be slipping and sliding and I'll be riding. Both. Thank you. I'll be slipping and sliding and I'll be riding. I've heard you're supposed to wait an hour after eating first. Yeah, do you mind waiting before you go in?
Starting point is 00:03:01 I get it. You feel awful when you've eaten. I'm the same. Sloshing around. Couple of loaves rubbing up against each other. Let me pop on my costume before we get soaking wet. Oh. Do you call it a swimming costume?
Starting point is 00:03:19 No. What do you call it? Because you're from Melbourne. Do you say togs or something? Bathers. I say bathers. Bathers. Or guys would just wear boardies. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:33 Do you wear a speedo or are you a boardies guy? I'm coming around to a speedo. I speedoed it up. I think that a speedo these days, I think that's where it's at. Well, in Australia, the brand Budgie Smuggler has taken off and I think we just call them that now. I've got a couple of pair of Budgie Smugglers at home. Hey, things you can say at a pool party and also in the bedroom. Do you want to play with my noodle?
Starting point is 00:03:53 You know, just the... Yeah. It's a great flotation device. I'll hang on to it. Yeah. I tried to think of so many about pool toys and I fucking could not think of them. That's a great one. Flotation's a good area. Yeah, I didn't think about that until about pool toys and I fucking could not think of them. That's a great one. Floatation's a good area.
Starting point is 00:04:06 Yeah, I didn't think about that until just now. Do boobs float? Yeah, they do. So if I'm in the bath, they'll rise up. Sit on top, yeah. Yeah. Very buoyant. Have you...
Starting point is 00:04:16 This is a bit weird, but Ricky Gervais once told this story that as you get older, your testicle skin stretches and that now when he's in the bath, his balls like float up. Because of the skin? Yeah, like higher than his body. I will report back tomorrow. Come over and use my bath. I'd love to.
Starting point is 00:04:38 I'll have a look at your fucking testicles for you, mate. Well, hopefully there's no clothes in it and you can actually use the bath. Is this your parents' house? Should I dive in headfirst? Always. Of course. I'm a gentleman. I'm a fucking lady.
Starting point is 00:04:58 Of course headfirst. I am soaked. Yeah. How did that make you feel, boys? It made us feel lots of things. Yeah. How's your noodle? Why is your noodle in the air?
Starting point is 00:05:20 Why does after a certain amount of time the noodles curve? Because they do. They do curve, yeah, I've heard that. The pool noodle. It's so shallow I can actually get to the bottom. Did you want to get in the bottom instead? Please unclench your fingers like that. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:05:44 Sorry, too graphic. Sometimes it's nice to have a family barbecue afterwards. It actually is, though. Oh, you've just had sex. You have a fucking sausage sizzle. What's a barbecue sauce? No, fucking oath, mate. Bring the potato salad around.
Starting point is 00:06:00 Yeah, you want to fucking jug a sangria? Yeah. Fucking all right. Put some Timbs in it, dog. Yeah, oh, shit me. Yeah, nice want a fucking jug of sangria? Yeah. Fucking alright. Put some Timbs in it, dog. Yeah, oh, shit me. Yeah, nice. Should we do that after this? Yeah, you want to come around for a barbecue? Yeah. No, I don't want to, actually.
Starting point is 00:06:11 I've got plans. I've got plans as well. I need to go and find out if my balls float. Let me get a towel ready before I jump in. It's always so awkward running through the house when you're drenched. And you're not a forward planner. I'm not a forward planner. Oh, I can't do this all day.
Starting point is 00:06:49 I am not as young as I used to be. You just used to be able to dive in and out all day. I can't go for a swim now. I did, like, 15 minutes ago. Need a few hours in between just to, you know. Oh, could you try not to get my hair wet? There's two of us here, but you're telling the wrong person that, mate. I'm going to need you to calm down.
Starting point is 00:07:20 Oh, don't spray me with the hose. It's all right once you're in. Oh no! I've gotten sunburnt! Been out there all day. Have you ever done it out in the sun? It actually sounds terrible. Yeah, it does. It's like when people are like, oh, sex in the sun? It actually sounds terrible. Yeah, it does.
Starting point is 00:07:47 It's like when people are like, oh, sex on the beach. I actually can't think of anything worse because you just get all sandy. Of course you have. Yeah. Yeah. Like the thought of it and I'd say the concept, fantastic. It sounds sexy and like off the cuff. Do you know what I mean? Like it sounds really like unplanned, unplanned and, like, oh, should we, you know?
Starting point is 00:08:07 But I just think. The logistics, the reality. The aftermath. It's the same as, like, sex in the shower to me. I'm like, yeah, it sounds great, but, like, it's slippery. It's not. Yeah. Things you can say at a pool party and also in the bedroom.
Starting point is 00:08:23 Can someone. Can someone grab grandma a towel? The grandma ones? They're the best ones. There has been chat in the group that there hasn't been a lot of insurance talk of late. Oh. Well, what insurance would you have at a pool party? Drowning insurance.
Starting point is 00:08:47 That's not a thing. I'm going to go so hard at this pool party, you better get life insurance. Does that make sense? Because you wouldn't say pool party in the bedroom. You could say, I'm going to go so hard here. I'm going to go so hard on this watering hole. Oh, grab
Starting point is 00:09:10 your swimming cap. It's best to wear protection. I mean, it's facts. Waterproof. Sorry, liquid proof. How many blokes do you reckon could fit in here at once? We could start a whirlpool. Deep end or shallow end? They're both deep for me because I can't get to the bottom
Starting point is 00:09:33 because I'm short. You can tell you've been in there too long when your fingers go wrinkly. You know you've been in there too long when your mum's asked you to come back inside. Tony! You've been in there too long, mate. It's getting dark outside. God, you must be thirsty.
Starting point is 00:10:20 Been in it all day. She'll be depleted. That's enough now. All right. Can I take my Hawaiian shirt off? Please, please. Hang on. Oh, no, leave that top on under it, though.
Starting point is 00:10:36 Oh, too late. Are you going to put your jacket back on? Yeah, I've just discarded it on the ground. Oh, no, we'll wait. Okay, everybody, I'm unplugging my headphones. No one say anything. She's grabbing the jacket. It's just us now.
Starting point is 00:10:50 She can't hear because her headphones are plugged in. She's grabbing her jacket. Also, while Tony's putting a blue denim jacket over a white and black striped T-shirt, can I just send a shout-out to the person in the group who dressed identical to Tony? That was fantastic this week. Hi, sorry. shirt, can I just send a shout out to the person in the group who dressed identical to Tony? That was fantastic this week. Hi, sorry.
Starting point is 00:11:13 Tony. Oh, hang on. I'm tired. Can't take you anywhere. That was her trying to get on a seat not a dick, by the way. What's happened? That was rude. Sorry. You'll know what I'm trying to get on. I almost said the C word and that's too aggressive. It is. Not that C word. Some would argue that all of that was too aggressive.
Starting point is 00:11:36 Oh, okay. And I'll be interested to hear if that makes the episode. Oh, yeah. Okay. Well, I was going to say cock. Yeah. Yeah. You're back. You say cock. Yeah. Not the other. You back?
Starting point is 00:11:47 You good? Yeah. I was just telling everyone how I love that that girl dressed like Tony during the week. Oh, my God. It made my day. It was so cute. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:55 I'm considering, and if people are interested, getting maybe 20, 30 people to all dress like Tony and we'll call ourselves the Tonys and we'll, like, go and do something together in Melbourne. That's fun. Yeah. That's very fun. Could we go bowling?
Starting point is 00:12:09 Are you going to come as well? Oh, no. It'll be a bit like, you know, that story, which I don't even know is true, that Charlie Chaplin entered a Charlie Chaplin lookalike contest and came third or whatever. You know that story? Yeah. It'll be me.
Starting point is 00:12:22 You're like, oh, you actually don't make the cut. She doesn't really wear the jacket like that. Yeah. Oh, okay. When people message us from not Australia, what are some common things they ask? Because we get asked a lot of questions. Things like do we have Walmart?
Starting point is 00:12:37 Yep. Do we have like certain types of cereals and food? What's Coles? What is Vegemite? Really like what is Coles? What's Vegemite? Yeah, lots of questions about food and what shops we have. I've had so many questions this week of people saying,
Starting point is 00:12:51 hey, Ryan, what's going on in Dubbo? I mean, that was what I was about to say as well. That's the other one. What is going on in Dubbo? What's going on in Dubbo? Tell us. Enlighten us. Dubbo has a population of 30,000 people.
Starting point is 00:13:05 Good for them. It's about a five-hour drive inland from Sydney. I've never been to Dubbo. Well, let me bring you up to date with the latest news. Please, thank you. Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. I'm sad to report that the surf shop is closed. That'd be a big blow for a small town.
Starting point is 00:13:22 Because where are you going to get your Rip Curl T-shirt from? Can I read you a classic? They've just like printed out a note and stuck it to the door and it's like, dear former customers. Oh. Because it's like a family-run business in the small town of Dubbo. Do you have the name of the surf shop? Because is it called like Wet and Wild or like? I hope so.
Starting point is 00:13:40 I don't know the name but I fucking hope it was that. Yeah, me too. We're sad to report that the surf shop has closed. A combination of COVID, supply chain issues, and being over 500 kilometres from the nearest beach has resulted in us re-evaluating, you know, the longevity and potential of this business, and we've decided we need to finish up this business
Starting point is 00:14:05 and start a new one. Okay. Because it's like a little family-run place. And when they mentioned that, I went, yeah. Being 500 kilometres from the ocean, I'm guessing it's not like you're rolling in on a Saturday morning and going, oh, surf's up, bro. Yeah, can I grab some wax?
Starting point is 00:14:20 I'm about to hit the bloody waves. Is that for the pool party or for the surfboard? But, yeah, I was like, okay. But when you run a business, some factors are out of your control, obviously, like COVID and supply chain issues and stuff. The business hasn't moved. Like, it's not as if when they started it was high tide. And they were like, oh, yeah, beach is right there, no problem.
Starting point is 00:14:46 Oh, the tide's out. It's five hours. It's fucking gone out. Now it's five hours. Like, fuck this. How far is the tide out? About 500 kilometres. Yeah, oh, fucking hell.
Starting point is 00:14:55 All right. Put the Zog's Wax on fucking special. We're shutting up shop. So I didn't know whether it was a bit of bad luck for the surf shop or, like, you're suggesting maybe. The tide went out, yeah. Maybe that's something they could have factored in when they for the surf shop or like you're suggesting maybe... The tide went out, yeah. Maybe that's something they could have factored in when they started the surf shop back in the day.
Starting point is 00:15:09 Yeah. But who am I to judge? We don't own a business. No. Do you know what I mean? We're not business owners. We don't have a business. I'm going to school to learn about business
Starting point is 00:15:16 because I'm a fucking idiot and don't know anything. We've got a podcast. We don't have a business. We're not a business people. We don't have a business. They decided that their new venture would be something a bit more relevant to the people of Dubbo, which, you know. Cars to drive to the beach.
Starting point is 00:15:31 We're in the 500-kilometre train business. They're doing like a shuttle bus. Because I know when I move to Dubbo, it's for the surf. Yeah. Maybe it's a, is it a surfboard hire for people that don't want to commit, but they still. I moved five hours inland from Sydney, but if there is one thing I love to do, it's hit the fucking surf.
Starting point is 00:16:00 Yeah, hit the wipes. We're opening a new business that's more relevant to the people of Dubbo and keeping up with the times to give ourselves and our family a realistic chance of success. Yep. As much as the shuttle was a great idea, that's not what they've gone with. Okay, but shame.
Starting point is 00:16:16 Maybe we can move to Dubbo and start that. Seems like a fucking open economy, yeah. They're opening a video store. They're opening a video store. You know what the people of Dubbo aren't 500 kilometres away from? The internet. You are fucking pulling my flaps. They are not starting a video shop. So for everyone who's messaged asking what's going on in Dubbo,
Starting point is 00:16:46 now you know. They've gone back in time. Play the approver, guys. Hi, it's Shraken from Coburg in Melbourne, and you're listening to... Can I do it again? Yep. No.
Starting point is 00:17:04 Hey, stop bullying him. Sorry. Whenever you're ready, Shreken. Tony Love, fuck you. Let him be. Hi, it's Shreken from Coburg in Melbourne, and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. Okay, a massive shout-out to a few of our new champion tapas for the week over at our Patreon.
Starting point is 00:17:34 Welcome. Drew Stacey, Jenny Haag, Caitlin Cumming. Fuck, she will be. And Cassie McKenzie, thank you so, so much for contributing to our Patreon. I tell you what I'm not surprised about? What? The fact a hug led to a coming.
Starting point is 00:17:49 Am I right in saying that's what just happened? Yeah. Yeah. Jenny hugged and then Caitlin was coming. Yeah. And then Cassie Mackenzie. She always does. Classic Mackenzie.
Starting point is 00:17:59 So I put something into our Facebook group this week and it was a post that I saw from Nathan Pyle, and if you're not familiar, he does the Strange Planet cartoons. You would have seen them. They're like the little alien cartoons. Oh, yeah. And the one that I've just shown Ryan as an example is like the little alien is saying, I am heating the sustenance, and he's like cooking,
Starting point is 00:18:22 and then the next frame is like smoke everywhere. I have overheated the sustenance. So it's just like he's burnt the dinner. Yeah. Like it's just very kooky in here. Cute little fun, weird. Yeah. Anyway, and he posted this illustration of how to eat an apple.
Starting point is 00:18:43 And I saw that and thought, obviously. You just put it in your mouth. Well, but, like, there's a bit of it. Like, you've got a habit. Like, you know how you do it. And I wanted to know what everybody else does because I saw that and go, oh, yeah, that's how I eat an apple as well. I assume everyone just went, you just put it in your mouth and ate it
Starting point is 00:19:03 and there'd be zero comments on there? No. There were hundreds of comments. On the original post there were thousands. Would you say there was debate? There was absolutely debate and I'm going to go through that. So there's more than one way? Yes. Yes. So I eat an apple the exact same way every single time and it's the way that he has described. So you eat like bite around the middle section of an apple all the way around. Like you're eating the equator almost?
Starting point is 00:19:31 Yes. Beautiful. Very descriptive. I'm holding an apple right now, by the way, for anyone that can't see me, just everyone except for Ryan. And then, so there's exposed flesh around the equator of the apple, if you will, and then you bite around in the same direction at the top, around the core, the North Pole, and then you eat the same
Starting point is 00:19:51 but on the South Pole. What's the lines in between the equator and the poles? The Tropic of Capricorn and the Tropic of Cancer. So you're Capricorning and Cancering? Well, no, it's probably South Pole because you're going around the bottom. Oh, you're going around the bottom, okay. Yeah, I've got it. I've got it.
Starting point is 00:20:04 Okay. Anyway, that is what he described in the okay. Yeah, I've got it. I've got it. Okay. Anyway, that is what he described in the photo and that is how I do it. Okay, so you're like me and Old Man. What do you do? I would say fairly similar to what you've described. Yeah, like you go around the middle, get all the flesh from the middle. I think why I question the poles is that because that's usually where the core is, I wouldn't go right to the top. But you'd eat like the skin to like there, say.
Starting point is 00:20:25 Maybe not, no. Oh, so how high would you go? Yeah, probably London. Liverpool. Alaska. You know that I don't know anything about anything, so that doesn't mean anything. Okay, so the world.
Starting point is 00:20:38 So you're eating. Don't draw on it. She's drawing on an apple now. Like that? Yeah. And then probably only to there? Yeah. Yeah, okay, that's fine.
Starting point is 00:20:44 I'd say the top of the forehead before the hair there? Yeah. Yeah, okay, that's fine. I'd say to the top of the forehead before the hair starts. Yeah, okay. No, that's fine. So, I mean, roughly, though, the same setup. Similar vibes. So, I threw this into the group because I was like, how many fucking different ways are there to eat an apple? Like, I've been eating an apple the same way since I was a kid.
Starting point is 00:21:01 A lot of people agreed. Harley Dolson said 110% the correct way to do it. Cherise Brand said, yes, yes, yes. And I was like, okay, you eating an apple or fucking getting cummed into? All good. And then Ladovic Bullion said, best way. The top and the bottom parts are so satisfying to bite off,
Starting point is 00:21:19 which they are because you've already got that, like, the cave kind of going into it. Did you ever cut your apple into like slices? So a few people said that as well. I personally don't because the thing, the beauty of an apple is that you can just do it. Yeah. Like you can just eat it.
Starting point is 00:21:34 It's an all-you-go dish. Exactly. Like you could eat that in the car, all good. Have you ever eaten a banana in public? Yeah. It's not great. Yeah, it's. You feel exposed. When I'm eating a banana in public, I like It's not great. Yeah, it's... You feel exposed.
Starting point is 00:21:46 When I'm eating a banana in public, I, like, break the bits off. Yeah, you would, yeah. Because I don't want to sit there and hold it like this because everyone thinks I look like a fucking... Deep-throated. Yeah. Yeah. Like I'm cocking in public.
Starting point is 00:21:55 It's like, excuse me, ma'am, you know you can do it in bites at a time. Yeah. What? Yeah. Are you sure? I think you have to put the whole thing down at once. Why are you fondling the base of it? Why are you holding two apples at the bottom?
Starting point is 00:22:09 Taylor Jones said, absolutely not. What? What the fuck? One face area at a time. Otherwise, your grabby hands are touching the open flesh while you eat the other side. No, that's why you use the poles. I know.
Starting point is 00:22:24 You've got these little apple holders. They're like cob holders on a corn cob. Yeah. Yeah. Built in. So Taylor is eating like one face and then turning it around and then the next like. You're wrong, Taylor.
Starting point is 00:22:38 I agree. Edward DeRoste has said, I'm very fond of the concept of using a knife to cut into it until the core is a rectangle. So kind of like getting like a paring knife. Right up in there. And just like doing that every time. Yep. Katrina Saroos said, I eat apples like a toddler,
Starting point is 00:22:56 strictly only if someone cuts them for me. Otherwise it's just too much work. What was her name again? Katrina. Katrina is a lady of leisure. She likes to be wined, dined and probably hand-fed. 69ed. I mean, who's to say?
Starting point is 00:23:12 I mean, it's up to her. But she would probably, how did she eat her grapes? Individually fed. By somebody else. And then somebody else is fanning her at the same time. It's obviously an American thing. I've never seen this. But there's like a device that sits over the apple
Starting point is 00:23:28 and it's got blades on it and you push it down and it decores it and cuts it into like eight bits. It's like a round cutter and you just like hold it over the apple and push it down. I've never seen that before. I've got a message for the people of the US. One thing that the rest of the world judges you on is your unnecessary appliances in the kitchen.
Starting point is 00:23:48 Yeah. There's always, oh, there's this new appliance. Oh, there's this cutter. There's this chopper. There's this juicer. How much bench space do you have in your kitchen to have a Thermomix and all this other shit? Yeah, Thermomix. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:57 Yeah, yeah. I mean, hey, who's the judge? Yeah. Exactly right. No, you're right. That's what the rest of the world thinks of you. Yeah. Hey, what do you think of America?
Starting point is 00:24:04 Oh, that country that has all that extra shit in the kitchen? However, the apple thing sounds good. I'll see if I can find one. See if I can find you one. On Amazon? Sure. Use my code. Okay.
Starting point is 00:24:18 But then there was also comments like, you know how there's everybody that's a smartass that's like, I ate the whole thing of an apple and before you come at me, the seeds don't have cyanide in them or whatever. And then there was this comment from Joe Henson. Hi, Joe. Hey, Joe. Snap it in half, eat one side first, then the other.
Starting point is 00:24:38 What does it mean, snap it in half? And someone commented and was like, what the fuck, you're going to snap an apple in half? And he was like, it's really easy. Hang on, what the fuck? You're going to snap an apple in half? And he was like, it's really easy. Hang on, what? I brought in some apples and I thought that you should try and snap it in half. So not cut it in half? No.
Starting point is 00:24:54 Just with his bare hands. He reckons that he can just snap it open. And apparently it's really easy. Wow, it's really easy. Wow. Tony. Oh, you've become prepared. Yeah, I did today.
Starting point is 00:25:05 Thank you. Prop day. I look like a teacher. Yeah, I did today. Good on you. Thank you. Prop day. I look like a teacher. I've got all these apples on my desk. Now, if I took two apples, how many apples are left? Tony. She's pretending the apples are her boobs and she's doing that.
Starting point is 00:25:16 Oh, now she's inhaling it through her. On a scale of one to ten, 1 being a child who is just born and doesn't have motor skills, 10 being the strongest man ever, where would you place me on the, like, root strength 4 scale? You're not that strong, but I can't really talk because I don't have much. Put a number on it. Four, five.
Starting point is 00:25:39 Five or six. Oh, I'll take a five. Really? Yeah. Okay, so what you're saying is if it's so easy, someone who's a four, five or a six should be able to figure it out. Well, he reckons it's so easy. And here we go.
Starting point is 00:25:50 Oh, jeez, I'm glad you didn't give me the good apples. Well, I wasn't going to waste ones that we could eat. We're going to eat it after I split it in. How do you even get your hand around to split? So I'm also going to try and see if I can do it. I've got really little hands. There's no way. So.
Starting point is 00:26:08 I've got a fake finger. The coral. No. It's hurting my wrists. I know. And imagine if you're just like, you could right now be chomping away on an apple. And instead I'm. And instead you're doing this.
Starting point is 00:26:22 Trying to rip an apple in half. What was that guy's name? Joey. Joe. Joe. Joe. No. So I watched a few videos and I don't know how people are doing it. With your hands set as described in step two, which is like this,
Starting point is 00:26:36 squeeze hard and let your thumbs roll outward. Oh, my God. No, I've been into it. I tried. I thought Ryan will be able to do this. No. And I'm a four, five or a six. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:54 I mean, if I didn't have my Invisalign in, I'd just crack into it. You want to pop your teeth out, mate? No, because it sounds disgusting when I do it. Does it sound more disgusting than me eating an apple whilst in a microwave? Yeah, people hate that. But, yeah, so, Jo, we've debunked your theory. There's no way that that's easier than just eating the apple like the rest of the humans on the internet.
Starting point is 00:27:13 Stay out of the comment section, Jo. Did you like that? The apple? Yeah, thanks. I organised all the stuff. You did. No, I'm impressed. Yeah?
Starting point is 00:27:24 I'm impressed. I'm also just, that was a good apple. It's juicy. And guess where I've eaten? Through the middle. Exactly right. Like a champion. Hey, things you love to see.
Starting point is 00:27:35 Yes. Being pregnant and single would be a difficult place to be, I would have thought, because you'd like some support around you and even small things like, you know, you hear like, oh, the cravings, can you run out and get me an ice cream and peanut butter or whatever? This lady was single and she wanted like a partner. Like, you're still allowed to date.
Starting point is 00:27:54 You're a single lady and she's pregnant. So she met this guy on Tinder and she was like, hey, putting it straight out there, I'm currently pregnant. But like, I'm just looking for some company. If you're wanting to hang out with someone, I'm still a lovely person, blah, blah, blah. So this guy says, hey, no problems. You seem like a great person.
Starting point is 00:28:11 They chatted for a bit and then they went on a date and things went along well. Cute. On the fourth date. Yeah. And can I just put out there they hadn't been intimate, but they were just, you know. Getting to know each other and stuff.
Starting point is 00:28:20 Yeah, that's cute. On the fourth date, she went into labour and he went with her to the hospital and held her hand and helped be a part of this birth on the fourth date. And she gave birth and she's like, hey, I'm not the father. I'm never going to pretend to be. But if we're dating and you're my girlfriend and obviously you've got a new baby, like I'm happy to support you and help out where I want
Starting point is 00:28:44 and we can sit on the couch and I can feed you and do whatever I need to do and you're a really lovely person. That's really nice. Yeah, isn't it? There's not a lot of people that would do that. Like that would be quite freaky. Like all of a sudden you've four dates with this girl
Starting point is 00:28:59 and you're like, like I don't want to step on anyone's toes. Exactly. But also like just having the courage to be like, I don't really know what I'm doing, but I really like you and I'm happy to stick it out. Oh, that's what I mean. I have no courage. Wow.
Starting point is 00:29:12 But yeah, wow, that's so special. I'm really glad that they seem to be doing really well together. That's so lovely. Where did you see that story? It just popped up online. Wow, that's so nice. You know, one of those lad bible-y type stories. Aw. Well, I saw this tweet and You know, one of those Lad Bible-y type stories. Aw.
Starting point is 00:29:26 Well, I saw this tweet and it went a little bit viral this week. I set out a suitcase to pack for my flight later that day and spotted my three-year-old crawling inside it to hide. Obviously, they're like, oh, Dad, don't go. Like, I'll come with you kind of thing. And crawled inside the suitcase. So the guy posting the tweet said, I casually zipped it up and yelled, I'm off to the airport, everyone,
Starting point is 00:29:50 and put the luggage in the car. Yeah, with the kid in it. And drove around the block twice and the luggage didn't stop giggling. So this little three-year-old's in there like, they don't know that I'm in here, which is very cute. That is very cute. Meow. See you tomorrow.
Starting point is 00:30:11 See you tomorrow.

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