Toni and Ryan - I didn't wanna call a plumber...
Episode Date: June 29, 2022The lengths I'll go to to avoid embarrassment, and chatting about the Truman Show. SEE YOU TOMORROW!! Love Toni x Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook ...Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Hello.
Talia.
Ryan, how are you?
Did you know that you sent us the wrong number?
No.
Yes, and we've been calling some other person
who's getting real fucked off with us for about 20 minutes
and now we've found the real number.
So welcome to the show.
Well, now I feel fucking stupid.
No, but we do have a question.
Would you mind approving the podcast?
Because the other person we were ringing, they weren't in.
They weren't into it.
They weren't into it.
They weren't down for it.
No.
They need a wake-up call.
Of course, I'll do the podcast.
Yay.
Well, I'm so glad that we finally got through to you, Talia.
Thank you so much.
Yeah, I'm sorry that the new person wasn't
too interested. I was just trying to get more targets involved.
Spreading the good word accidentally.
You know,
you've got to try your best sometimes.
Where do we find you?
I know it just says you're on the East Coast
time zone. I'm in Newcastle.
New South Wales.
This is two Newcastles in two days. Yeah, but the other one'm in Newcastle, New South Wales. This is two Newcastles in two days.
Yeah, but the other one was like Newcastle
upon Tyne. Oh, that's like
the UK. I've joined so many
groups thinking like, you know, there's some
nice lesbians, but they're all over in the UK.
So, it's
pretty bad. As soon as you see that
upon Tyne, you just sort of run the opposite way.
Oh, that's so funny.
What's the name of the group that you were trying to get into?
It was like Newcastle Lesbians.
I was like, oh, here we go, you know.
And the next thing you know is I'm talking to some chick in the UK
and she's going to bed at 8.30 in the morning.
And not in the way that you wanted her to.
No, like my bed was free.
I was sitting up on my own.
And she's off to sleep.
You've got to be so careful with these two Newcastles. It really stresses some of those beings out.
Hello, it's Tali from Newcastle, Australia and I approve this podcast.
Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast.
Happy Tony and Ryan Friday!
Well, tomorrow we're back.
I know.
So what does that mean? It's not Tony and Ryan Friday anymore.
It's just regular calendar Friday, so I won't say anything.
But is today still going to be Tony and Ryan Friday? No, because it's not our Friday anymore. It's just regular calendar Friday, so I won't say anything. But is today still going to be Tony and Ryan Friday?
No, because it's not our Friday anymore.
So we're finally going to put this little thing to bed?
Fuck, you are such an arsehole about the Tony and Ryan Friday.
Okay.
I put up with so much stupid shit that you say,
as if you can't just let this slide.
Okay.
It's good to see that we're off to a friendly start,
because I've got something to bring up with you
before we get into whatever it is we're going to talk about today.
What is it?
Going on a road trip, depending on what kind of friends you are, are either the kind of
activities that bring you closer together and is a real celebration.
Yep.
However, Tony and I, who are driving from Melbourne to Sydney together in a few days,
Tony just mentioned to one of our friends, oh, I've got to be in the car with Ryan and I'm really nervous about it.
Are you right, mate?
I'm really excited, genuinely very excited.
Well, that's not what it sounded like when you told our friend.
But I am nervous about you need to pee constantly.
I do.
And so we're going to have to keep stopping.
And you know me when I like to just get started and just do it.
So?
So I know that we're going to kind of get on the road
and be driving for 45 minutes and you're going to go,
oh, we'll pull in here, I'll just do away.
And that's fine.
It doesn't sound like it's fine.
Like I just like to get in the car and I'll just go.
So is my small bladder going to be an issue for you?
Should I not consume liquids for three days prior?
Yeah, let's dehydrate you.
We'll hydrate you back up when we get to Sydney.
Yeah, I'll be a little sun-dried tomato.
Who's going to drive?
Are we going to take turns?
Yeah.
Because I love driving.
I'll drive the whole way if you want.
Okay, here's another issue I need to bring up.
Oh, what?
No, we'll share, we'll share.
And I asked my mum.
This is how fucking poor we are.
Okay.
So I mentioned during the week my mum's in the outback of Northern Territory.
Yep.
She's off having a while of her time.
Yeah, and I don't own a car.
And Tony, well, your car would make it to Sydney.
Totally.
Yeah.
It's a manual, but I couldn't drive it.
Actually, it might not make it to Sydney.
Totally.
It's a manual, but I couldn't drive it.
Actually, it might not make it to Sydney.
So I said to my mum who's away, while you're out of town,
can I just borrow your car?
Because I don't have a car.
She's like, yeah, yeah, the keys are on the bench.
Just go and grab it.
And my wife Bridget said, you probably should have explained to her that you're planning on driving it from Melbourne to Sydney.
That's what I said to you as well.
Oh, you and Bridget are on the same side again.
Who fucking guessed that?
I just asked her if I'd borrow the car. She said yes. What's what I said to you as well. Oh, you and Bridget on the same side again. Who fucking guessed that?
I just asked her if I'd borrow the car.
She said yes.
What's more to say?
No, but it's like, it's a different question.
So, because mum's got a nice car.
She does.
And it's got cruise control.
So once we get on that highway, we can just.
Even my Yaris has cruise control.
Does it?
Yeah.
Well, yeah, we can just lock it in. Yeah.
Aim it at Sydney and just sit back and have a good time.
Figure it out.
Yeah.
I'm really excited about it.
It sounds like it.
Coming up today.
Yep.
The Truman Show.
Yes.
Thank you to everyone who voted for the Truman Show.
We wanted to watch that.
The topic was dramatic Jim Carrey movies or just like not funny Jim Carrey movies.
You said non-traditional Jim Carrey movies.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because Bridget's favourite movie is Eternal Spotless Mine of Sunshine.
What's that one?
Eternal Sunshine of Spotless Mine.
Yeah.
And because I think we said this last week about Mike Myers,
just because someone's a comedic actor,
sometimes we forget how just awesome an actor they are.
They are across the board, yeah. Jim Carrey's unreal,
isn't he? He's really good in that movie, in
Eternal Sunshine, but also in
The Truman Show. I'd never seen it, so I'm
excited to talk about it. Alright, that's coming up soon.
Before we get
to that...
Oh, fuck me. What's happened?
So,
in this podcast, we've been very, very open and honest
about times when poo has been a concern.
Yeah.
Everyone does it.
We do toilet chart.
We're like no holds barred here.
Like we're all good.
It's more about honesty than like dirtiness though.
Yes, totally, totally.
We're adults.
We're adults, but it's nice to share when things go wrong
because things go wrong for everyone.
Do they?
And it's important to remind everybody that it's okay
if things go wrong because sometimes they do.
Well, I'll be reminding you of that when we're in between road stops.
Oh, that's.
On the way to Sydney.
Are you going to poo in the car?
I'll go somewhere.
In the car? Oh, yeah. Next to the car parked on the car? I'm going to go somewhere. In the car?
Oh, yeah.
Next to the car, parked on the side of the road.
Yeah, great.
Good, thanks for clearing that up.
My mistake.
I'll bring some dog bags.
So we've talked about on this podcast when you had to get like a plumber in
because you broke your toilet.
You reckon it was the earthquake, but whatever.
The earthquake ruptured the terracotta tiles.
Terracotta?
No, it was the terracotta tile pipes.
The house is 100 years old.
And then we heard from a tarpa whose brother blocked up their toilet
and there was a bit of a poonami in their home.
The poonami.
I forgot about that.
So this week.
Are we welcoming someone to the team?
Is someone?
Huh?
Please continue.
Are we welcoming someone to the team? What? Like is? Please continue. Are we welcoming someone to the team?
What?
Like, is there going to be a new person in the Poonami group?
Oh, yes.
Because you were on your high horse all this time.
So.
Judging everyone else.
No, mate, I've shat in my car.
Actually, you're right.
No, you're all right.
I'm part of the team already.
You have.
Yeah, you're right.
So, one night.
That's why we're not taking your car to Sydney.
I know what's happening in that car.
I'm not sitting in that seat.
One night this week, Torbs was wiping down the sink in the bathroom
and the sink is like right next to the toilet.
Yep.
He was wiping something down and he used like spray and wipe
and he flushed the paper towel.
Down the toilet?
Yeah.
Is that straight legal?
No.
Because it's like big and thick.
Yeah, and it's like you're only supposed to flush toilet paper.
It's like a thing.
Yeah.
Anyway, he flushed it and I was like, hey, man,
I don't think you're supposed to do that.
And he was like, oh, it's gone down.
I think it's fine.
Out of sight, out of mind.
Literally.
I went to bed and then.
I'm stressed.
I'm having a good time, but I'm stressed.
The next morning I wake up, start work, just like tapping away on my laptop.
I go and do a poo, my morning poo.
Yep.
I flush the toilet.
The toilet water comes quite high up.
Rising.
It's a rising tide.
It's coming up.
There's nothing I can do.
That's terrifying.
I'm watching it happen.
Yeah, and you can't do anything.
There's nothing to do.
And my poo just floating in the.
Staring you in the face.
Yep.
Yep.
Remember me?
The poo is the new member of the team.
Remember me?
Yep.
Yeah, and I do remember because it was just 45 seconds
that you left my person, my person.
I was like, holy fuck, like what do I do?
Torbs was like, oh, my God, what's wrong?
And I was like, the water's rising in the toilet.
It's rising tide.
And he goes, oh, my God, I forgot to tell you.
What the fuck?
That happened to me last night.
And he just went to bed?
You probably shouldn't have pooed in that toilet.
Well, I would have if someone had fucking told me.
Yeah, if someone had given me the fucking heads up.
Who does he think he is?
So because I was already in bed, he totally forgot,
and then in the morning obviously it just like didn't cross his mind.
Obviously.
Obviously.
I've pooed in there and then the water's like rising right up.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
I was fucking freaking out.
Anyway, so I Google like what to do if that happens.
Siri, fix my toilet.
So Torbs, I was like, how much did you flush?
Like was it just one piece?
He was like, it was a couple of bits.
A couple of bits of toilet.
And I was like, how much was it, bro?
Because like do we need to call someone?
He goes, no, no, no, no, no.
We can fix this ourselves.
Classic male behavior.
But also just like, I don't want to fucking call a plumber
because my poo is in the toilet.
They rock up and they go, oh, are you Tony Lodge?
What are you doing some hell with?
Oh, has that come out of you?
Is that your shit in there?
Nice.
Big dinner? Lots of vegetables? Oh, darn that come out of you? Is that your shit in there? Nice. Big dinner?
Lots of vegetables?
Oh, don't.
You know.
We're an adult podcast.
Sorry, adult podcast.
Anyway, we don't have a plunger,
so we're looking up like home remedies of how to unblock a toilet.
Like put some baking soda in hot water or just something.
Got it in one, girlfriend.
Are you fucking kidding me? Baking soda, leave it in there for a few minutes and some baking soda in hot water or just something. Got it in one, girlfriend. Are you fucking kidding me?
Baking soda, leave it in there for a few minutes and then put vinegar in.
It will bubble up and then it should, like, suck back down.
Where the fuck were you when the tsunami earthquake happened?
Well, so we Googled it.
Oh, that was my first mistake.
And that's what came up.
That did not work.
Oh, okay.
But we left it in the toilet for probably, like, half an hour.
Yeah, let it do its thing.
So very slowly the water was draining back out.
The baking soda and vinegar did not work.
Okay.
But the toilet had drained back out.
So I was like, oh, maybe it's fine.
Torbz was like, oh, there's another thing on here that says boiling water,
like from the kettle, and filling it right up.
Like the pressure should like push the paper towel like clogged up,
push it back down.
We fill it up with hot water.
It's like draining but really slowly.
And he did that probably like three times with the hot water.
Is he making like a hot poop soup?
Yeah.
Yeah.
So literally the toilet is just full of my poo stew.
Do we like poo stew or poop soup?
What do we like?
Both are fine.
Both are fine.
I'll respond to either.
I'll accept both.
Anyway, so. And are you more terrified or are you just going through the processes?
Because now if you call the person, not only are they going to see your poop,
they're going to see your poo stew.
My poo stew.
And how embarrassing.
This is fucking rank, guys.
You put hot water in it.
They're like, what were you making a Milo?
Like, what's fucking happened?
It fucking looks like it.
Don't.
We're an adult podcast.
No, all I'm going to say is it was disgusting.
I think we are aware of it.
It was disgusting.
I could assume.
So I'm like, mate, we're good for it.
Can we just call someone?
Torbs was like, no, no, no, no, no.
I think we can do it.
What's Torbs' deal with not getting help?
Oh, because he was just embarrassed as well.
Okay.
And he was like, because now we've done all these home remedies.
It's even more embarrassing.
Yeah, because we didn't want them to judge us for having not just called them in the first place.
And the guy goes, why don't you just call me instead of pouring these fucking cornflakes in here?
Yeah.
And they're like, did you guys eat salt and vinegar chips?
Because all I can smell is vinegar in this house.
We're like, no, that's half of it in the toilet.
Anyway, so I was like, well, I need to leave the house. We're like, nah, that's half of it in the toilet. Anyway, so I was like, well, I need to leave the house. So how about I take one for the team and I go and buy a plunger. Okay. So you
still haven't committed to getting a professional? Torbs was like, I reckon we can sort it out.
I came here and recorded with you. Oh, when you came into work the other day. And then I had to
leave and go to Bunnings and buy a plunger.
Okay, here's a question for you.
What's more embarrassing, hiring a plumber or going into Bunnings
and getting a plunger?
Because if someone rocks up stressed to Bunnings looking for a plunger,
you know what's happened.
Well, so the thing is, right, if you look at that question and you go,
oh, I don't want the plumber to come to my house
because they're going to know that it was my poo.
So if I go to Bunnings, no one's going to know who I am.
No one knows what's going on.
Just the 200 people in Bunnings.
Was there any tapas at Bunnings?
Was there any tapas at Bunnings?
It's as if we just did a segment three weeks ago
about things you can say
at Bunnings and also in the thing.
That's probably been sent around internally.
Don't say internally.
You know everyone in Bunnings has been sent that video.
Yeah.
Or their friends tagged it.
Go like, oh, you work at Bunnings?
So I walk.
She came in the other day.
What was she doing there?
Bonapart.
So I walk into, and I'm by myself because Torbs was working.
So this is like my first, it was my first big day of not having a job
and I had to go and buy a plunger.
Like this is my life now.
You're an adult now.
You can do life admin tasks.
During the day.
Torbs is working so he's like, oh, sorry, sweetie,
I can't come and do this with you.
Anyway, I go to Bunnings, I walk up the escalator
and you know how there's like the people mill sorry, sweetie, I can't come and do this with you. Anyway, I go to Bunnings, I walk up the escalator,
and you know how there's like the people milling around at the front?
Instantly she goes, oh, my God, Tony!
Is this the one in Abbotsford, Collingwood?
Yeah, Hawthorne.
Oh, okay, yeah, right. The other side.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And I walk up the escalator and she's like, Tony, oh, my God,
I love your shit.
And I was like.
Wow.
I don't.
Not at the moment. My plumbing doesn't. It wow, I don't. Not at the moment.
My plumbing doesn't.
It's causing me a fucking right issue at the moment.
So you told her this?
No.
She's like, I love your shit.
I was like, thanks.
Anyway, the great thing about Bunnings, right,
is that when you, this is not sponsored,
when you search up what you want, it tells you,
based on what store you search in, what aisle it's in
and what section.
So I'm like, fuck an A.
I don't need to talk to anybody.
I know I go to aisle 19.
I can go in there and get the fuck out.
Yeah.
So I walk in instantly.
This girl recognises me.
Yeah.
And I'm like, oh, and she's like so nice to me.
I was like, you too, doll.
Thank you so much.
I start walking through.
This really fucking hot guy with like pushing a pallet.
I kind of walked into the way that he was pushing the pallet
and I went, oh, sorry.
And he went, that's okay.
And then went, oh, hi.
And he goes, oh, can I help you?
Because I was holding my phone and like obviously looking around.
Like a tourist.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And he goes, oh, can I help you?
And I was like, fuck no.
No, you're way too good looking to know about any of this.
Not only hot as fuck, but you obviously have recognised me,
so I'm not going to ask anybody on Help On where to find a plunger.
No, three times.
No one is going to know that I'm looking for this plunger.
Yeah.
I go to the right aisle, I go to the right section.
Yep.
Can't find it.
Fuck, they're out of plungers.
I just couldn't find, I couldn't even find plumbing,
like I found the plumbing area but I couldn't find any plungers
and I was like they're obviously just not in this section anymore.
So you're kind of like I think I'm going to need to ask someone.
I stood, I walked up and down the aisles for probably 15 minutes
because I was like I do not want to talk to somebody about this
because how fucking awkward.
So did you eventually?
So I fucking finally gave in.
I walked over to the.
So you couldn't find it?
I couldn't find it.
Even after 15 minutes walking around?
I was walking up and down the thing, couldn't find it.
So I had to succumb to the embarrassment.
Did you go to the fun girl at the front or the hot guy?
No, no, no.
They had, so this is like right at the back of the store and it was near the paint section. And so I asked
one of the people at the paint area, I walk over there and I'm like, I've got to own this. Cause
if I go up there and go, Oh, I'm trying to find a plunger, they're going to be embarrassed. And
then I'm going to feel more embarrassed. So I just had to own it. And I looked up there and I was
like, Hey mate, I'm just looking for this plunger. Can you help me? And like held up my phone. He's
like, Oh yeah, that's fine.
He didn't know who I was.
Fucking brilliant.
Awesome.
I walk over.
The plunger was right at the bottom, like, tucked away.
So that's why I couldn't find it.
I end up getting the plunger.
It's this big.
It's like a cricket bat.
Yeah.
It's huge.
A baseball bat of I've fucked my bathroom.
Yep.
It is, like, a huge sign. Like, I've done a massive shit.
Did it fit in your car? Yeah. Excuse me, mate. Do you It is like a huge sign. Like I've done a massive shit. Did it fit in your car?
Yeah.
Excuse me mate, do you need to hire a trailer? And then so I had
to check out. I went through the self check out
and like scanned it and stuff. Did you have a hat on
and dark glasses? Wearing like
a face mask and stuff. Trench coat. And
then I'm like fuck I've
gotten away with this here. I like walked through
the thing with it behind my legs. Yep.
And then I forgot about the girl at the front.
Because you have to walk past her again.
Because she's the greeter.
Yeah.
And I had it behind me, but then I turned that way.
So I would have just been like a big tail.
I met Tony from the Tony and Ryan podcast.
She has a tail.
Yeah.
It's weird too.
It's like purple on plastic.
Anyway, so I ended up like getting home, took the plunger inside
and then Torbs was like, cool, we'll put some more hot water down
to more pressure and do the plunger and he melted it,
melted the plunger.
So does that mean it's even more clogged because you've just got
melted rubber just floating around in the toilet bowl?
Well, it ended up melting in such because you've just got melted rubber just floating around in the toilet bowl?
Well, it ended up melting in such a way that it got a better suction.
We finally got the shit stew out, the poo stew, whatever we called it.
Poop soup.
And, yeah, so luckily that's all over.
We've got a plunger now.
So if it happens again, and the best thing was is that it wasn't my fault.
I didn't flush the thing that made the poo.
I made the poo stew.
Yeah.
But I didn't flush the paper towel.
So it wasn't my fault.
So Torz was like, I'm so sorry.
And I was like, that's okay, mate.
I got to be on the high ground.
Yeah.
And a shout out to everyone at Bunnings in Hawthorne in Melbourne.
Thanks for listening to the podcast.
I really appreciate it.
Hello, it's Sally from Newcastle, Australia,
and you're listening to Tony and Ryan.
A big thank you to a few of our champion tapas from our Patreon.
DD Prince, thank you so much.
Sierra Mingmore, Regan McNabb, Jonathan Garson, Emily Wojcik,
Loz Montague, Josie Diamond, Rochelle, Kate Caro
and our favourite lesbians, Eilish and Sid.
Our favourite lesbians.
That is their name in Patreon.
They are self-proclaimed favourite lesbians.
Very, very funny.
I don't know them at all.
Controversial considering today's approver.
Yeah.
Obviously Eilish and Sid haven't heard about Talia.
Or they're not from Newcastle.
Maybe they could all catch up.
Three favourite lesbians all together.
Wonder what Newcastle they're from.
This week's movie is The Truman Show.
Yeah, so we said before non-traditional Jim Carrey movies.
So on the list was Truman Show, number 23.
I don't know what that is.
Well, he's done lots of movies.
I didn't know half of them when I typed in non-comedic.
I thought there'd be like three.
Yeah.
There's about 12.
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and Man on the Moon.
Truman Show won by a mile.
They had like 2,000 things and everything else had won.
So you've never seen it before.
No.
What did you think?
Because it's not a normal, it's just I find it fascinating
and I'm fascinated to know what you thought of it.
It was really fascinating.
I think I thought it was going to be a lot funnier than it was,
probably purely because of Jim Carrey.
But I think I thought there was just going to be lots more funny bits,
like that maybe in the beginning of the movie it would be a longer set-up
of his life in there and there would be, like,
lots of funny quirky things.
But that didn't, it gets straight into it.
Well, the camera falls from the sky in like the first shot.
Yeah.
So all of a sudden you're like, as the audience,
you're like, what the fuck's going on?
But so I was kind of like, I was really frustrated
because Torbz had seen the movie but only once,
like years and years and years ago.
I feel like having known the story, it was way different
because I was like looking for clues and stuff.
Yeah.
So watching it for the first time feels like a separate movie.
You're kind of trying to like understand what's going on
and pick up on all the nuances of the people moving around
and carrying like the neighbour carrying the bin with the camera in it
and stuff like that.
So did I ruin it for you last week when you were like,
what's a Truman Show?
And I'm like, oh, it's this thing.
But I knew the basic premise, which was that he lived
in like a reality show and that people were watching it
and he was the only person that didn't know.
Yeah.
But I didn't know any of the others.
Like I didn't know how heavy it was going to be.
And it was one of those movies that like after I finished watching it,
I like felt a bit sick.
So when I watched it when I was 15, I was a bit like,
oh, that's a bit of a random thing.
Yeah.
And when I watched it, it felt heavier now that I'm older.
Totally.
Or maybe like when it came out there were no reality TV shows.
There were no influencers.
There's no branded awfully.
Sorry, I'm just going to have a sip from my diet Coca-Cola.
Oh, you're not going to have the Frank Green water bottle?
I do enjoy my Frank Green water bottle, two litre,
but I think I'll just stick with the diet Coca-Cola for today. Oh, you're not going to have the Frank Green water bottle? I do enjoy my Frank Green water bottle, two litre,
but I think I'll just stick with the Diet Coca-Cola for today.
Because the 20-ounce Frank Green water bottle is the perfect choice for a day out and it keeps you all cool.
That's exactly, you're right, you are right.
I do really enjoy my Frank Green water bottle
and it makes me more attractive to men as well, which is great.
So because this movie came out before awful branded content,
it was actually like, it's almost different watching it now because back then you're like,
it's such a strange concept.
Oh, they put ads in.
Who would have thought of that?
Totally.
Whereas now you're like, well, of course they do.
And then like the running thing across the bottom and it's like,
Truman drinks mo' cocoa.
But that's, yeah, what we do now.
We live in the Truman Show.
Yeah, well, on Instagram and stuff it's like that's what it is.
Like things are branded content and now there are obviously legal guidelines
that influences or.
I didn't see any hashtag ad in the movie, which was a bit.
Yeah, I mean, we'll let them know.
But now, yeah, there's like guidelines so you have to know
when something's an ad and not just.
What do you think having watched it?
Because the first thing Bridget said, my wife, we watched it last night,
she said. Had she seen it before? Yeah, but it was also a bit vague Bridget said, my wife, we watched it last night, she said.
Had she seen it before?
Yeah, but it was also a bit vague.
Like, oh, yeah, I kind of think.
Pretty sure I've seen it, yeah.
And soon as we stopped watching the movie,
we had a massive conversation about are we going to put our children
on Instagram?
Oh, interesting.
Because the whole thing is like Truman didn't choose this.
Like if he wanted this, then like power to you.
But not only. That's my problem with it. Not only But not only did he not choose that, he doesn't know.
And Bridget's like, oh, if the child is 15 and they go,
oh, I think I want to like do videos on YouTube.
You go, cool, man.
How can I help?
But when you just like put them on and they don't get a choice,
like so we had this full, like, deep philosophical dive.
Yeah.
And I was like, I was not expecting that from a Jim Carrey movie.
Well, we did the same, but obviously not regarding children.
It was kind of like I obviously share so much of my life.
If you need an example of that, just scroll back and listen
to Tony the Poop Soup.
But, like, I share so much about my life and as an extension
of that, Torbz's life, our life together on Instagram,
on the podcast, whatever.
But it's so different because I get to pick which parts
of it I want to show.
Like there'll be good parts, there'll be bad parts,
but it's not everything.
Whereas he's like, what?
You know how Instagram gets accused of being like, it's not real.
It's just a highlight reel from like the hot Instagram girls
and stuff that always look perfect and stunning.
Yeah, no, I share my worst.
Yeah, it's just a highlight reel.
Mate, I don't know if you heard about the poop soup,
but if that's a highlight.
I choose to do low lights and then when I look good,
people are surprised.
Yeah.
So it's like if I post myself looking really bad
and then you meet me in real life, you're like,
you're actually not as disgusting as I thought.
It's like a nice surprise.
Keep the expectations low.
Yeah.
And then supersede them.
What did you, what was the, like, where did you reach on that?
Where did you land?
Was it just like, oh, we wouldn't put our kids on Instagram
or you would but you'd like blur their faces or something
because lots of celebrities do that, don't they?
They do that.
Sorry, I just need a sip of my Diet Coke.
Sorry, I've actually got the Coke Zero for a refreshing taste.
Coca-Cola Zero Sugar.
But it still tastes like real Coke.
Great taste from Zero Sugar.
It still tastes like real Coke.
I feel like that's a slang for another company.
It still tastes like real.
I've got my brand and content mixed up.
This wouldn't happen if I kept my notes in Evernote.
I was going to say, yeah, you'd never miss a beat if you were with Notion.
Dot SO.
We know some influencers who, or like just as people who watch it,
and we're like, oh, the way they go about it, it's a bit more nicer.
Sure.
And not like there's, I mean, I know this is not what our podcast is about,
but you know like Sarah's Day, the YouTuber.
No.
So her baby was like pooing itself and screaming and she was like,
quick, grab the camera.
And everyone's like, babe, A, your kid's going to grow up
and there's going to be footage of it pooing itself.
Yeah.
And second, like when Tony tells his pooing herself story,
she's choosing to tell that story. Yeah. The baby's not choosing. They don't want to know abouting itself. Yeah. And second, like when Toni tells this pooing herself story, she's choosing to tell that story.
Yeah.
The baby's not choosing.
They don't want to know about that later.
Yeah.
And they don't have a choice in it.
Yeah.
And maybe instead of getting the camera, go give your baby a hug.
If kids are having a tantrum or something like that,
like is the last thing that they really want for you to film them?
Like I get sharing the real side of your life.
I totally get that.
to film them.
Like I get sharing the real side of your life.
I totally get that.
But like I would rather later on someone said,
did like a piece to camera Instagram story and went,
fuck, the kids screamed all day today.
Yeah.
Rather than, you know, like I wouldn't like it if I,
say if I was, this is never going to fucking happen because I'm not a Kardashian, but say that I was out in public
and I was melting down over something.
Say we were at that pub that time and I got that eggplant parmigiana
cooked snail thing.
And it was a moment.
And there was a fucking paparazzi over on my right-hand side
and was like, oh, she's going to melt down.
Let's get it.
That would push me over the edge.
Like I couldn't handle that.
And that's me as an adult.
Like I don't think that's very fair on anyone who's not consenting to.
That's you suffering from the Kardashian curse.
With a K.
With a K.
Yeah.
I wanted a chicken parmesan with a K, but that didn't happen.
It didn't.
If you ordered on Uber Eats, the premium.
How bad are those ads in the movie, though?
But when you think, it's such a clever concept for the movie,
given that it wasn't a thing yet.
Like preceded reality shows.
Yeah, and for her being like, throw out that mower,
let's get this brand new one.
I'm like, that's fucking smart.
And as someone who's worked in radio whose job it is sometimes
like weaving a client, I'm like, oh, the integration.
She's got the credit line away there.
That's what I mean.
Like how smart is that for then?
Also, when Truman looks around and goes,
who the fuck are you talking to?
Yeah.
I say to my radio bosses, that's what the audience says
when you try to sneak it in.
But.
Out of five, though, now that you've seen it.
I really liked it.
Yeah.
Yeah, four and a half.
Since when do we rate movies?
I don't know.
We've never done that before.
That's why I was caught off guard.
And also, when have you ever rated something out of five?
That's how all movies are rated.
Is it?
Oh, five stars.
Yeah.
Oh, because you know when you've got to rate something,
you've got like out of ten or whatever?
Out of 13 poop soups, I'll give it a seven.
So instead of rotten tomatoes, we do poop.
No, that's not taking off.
We're not doing that.
No, that's not a thing. My're not doing that. No, that's not a thing.
My You Love To See It For Today is an internet meme
that Melissa shared into our Tony and Ryan podcast group.
Yep.
And it says, I'm going to show it to you and then I'll explain it.
Oh, yeah, I think, yeah.
So there is a chocolate cake that has sunk in the middle.
Looks a bit like a bum.
And the meme is, I've made bad cakes,
but I've never wrecked them like this before.
Well played, sir.
Yeah, it was very funny.
So I love to see that.
Thanks, Melissa.
Cake hole joke.
Cake hole.
Brown eye.
Group of blokes in the UK. Yep. They did, you know, fantasy football together. Oh, Cole. Brown eye. Group of blokes in the UK.
Yep.
They did, you know, fantasy football together.
Oh, cute.
And what happens is...
Have you ever done that?
I've done footy tipping at work.
Yeah, right.
But not the full, like, fantasy.
Maybe next season we should do a...
A tarp footy tipping?
Yeah, a tarp tip.
Just the two of us or with everyone?
No, the two of us.
Because we're a company now.
We've got to do lame company things together.
Yeah, you're right.
Yeah.
So the deal is these group of guys go away to the beach,
like for a weekend once a year, like during the summer.
Oh, cute.
And the winner doesn't have to pay.
So everyone else just chips in a little bit extra.
Oh, I like that.
And considering they're going to go anyway,
and if all the 10 blokes chip in an extra 100, like not a huge deal.
Evens out, yeah.
But I thought what a cute, awesome idea.
But the loser, whoever comes last, the deal was.
Has to pay for everything.
They had to go on a date with a blow-up doll.
Like go out in public and eat dinner with a blow-up doll.
That's what the loser did.
And they're like, ha, ha, ha.
And the guy was like, no, no, if we make a deal,
I'm going to do that deal.
So all the other blokes are sitting in one corner of Nando's, snickering away, like laughing their ass off. And the guy was like, no, no, if we make a deal, I'm going to do that deal.
So all the other blokes are sitting in one corner of Nando's,
snickering away, like laughing their ass off,
and their mate just wanders in with a blow-up doll and sits there and orders her a meal and himself a meal.
And the waitress is just like, okay, yep,
and she'll get the lemon and herb.
She'll have it.
Well, you couldn't get spicy, she'd pop.
She'll have it.
Well, you couldn't get spicy.
She'd pop.
I'll put the link in the group,
but I don't like people who make a deal or a bet and then don't follow through.
Don't follow through, yeah.
And I think there's a lot of respect.
I can't believe I'm saying this word.
I respect the man who took a blow-up doll on a date to Nando's.
It's a choice, isn't it?
And I love to see it.
I love that too.
He's trying to keep his straight face in order.
His mates are in the corner of the restaurant laughing their ass off.
But he did it.
He made a deal and he did it.
I love the stakes of the actual thing as well.
You either win a free holiday, pretty much.
Or you date the blow-up doll.
Yeah, that's pretty fun.
That is, I mean, imagine coming into the last round of the season
going, oh, it's all on the line.
I'll get fucking start puffing.
Yeah.
All right, we'll catch you tomorrow.
Tomorrow for Tony and Ryan Friday.
On a Friday.
So well named.
Five days a week.
We don't know what we're talking about yet,
so we've got to go and plan it.
We'll figure it out tomorrow.
Meow.
Were you going to say we're going to figure it out tomorrow?
I was.
Sorry. Do you want me to say it again? I took your moment away. Meow. Hey, I'm say we're going to figure it out tomorrow? I was. Sorry.
Do you want me to say it again?
I took your moment away.
Meow.
Hey, I'm just your hype man, mate.
Hype meow.
See you tomorrow.
Love you.
Bye.