Toni and Ryan - In a Tattoo Studio and in the Bedroom
Episode Date: August 22, 2022TARP and CRAFTS and silent appointment woes. Love you! Toni xxx Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge a...nd @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Well, let's call Nakoma.
She might be asleep.
She might be in Nakoma.
She'll be in a Nakoma after hearing that joke.
Put me back to sleep, dog.
Hello?
Hi, Nakoma.
Hi.
Oh, my God.
I'm so glad you answered and to hear that you're not in Nakoma. Hi. Oh, my God, I'm so glad you answered and to hear that you're not in Nakoma.
I'm so glad you're in line with, like, every friend's dad that's ever met me
because I'm a number one joke.
Is it?
Because Tony thought she was an original comedian genius
and was angling for a Nobel Prize in comedy when she thought of that.
So I'm glad that – what did you say?
Your friend's dad?
Like every friend's dad throughout childhood.
I mean, all the love and respect to Tony's comedic prowess.
Apparently, the fuck not.
This is the start of the best episode yet of Tony.
Hey, Nakoma, will you approve this episode?
I sure will.
Even after all that, Nakoma?
That joke notwithstanding, I will approve.
Hi, it's Nakoma from Melbourne, Australia,
and I approve this podcast.
On behalf of some champion tarpers,
I would like to say thanks in advance to Tony Lodge for what you've done for them.
Thanks to me?
Why? What did I do?
I'll let you know coming up in this podcast because I've made a promise on your behalf and I think I'm doing you a favour.
So we'll look forward to that.
You don't need to be scared.
I don't like it when you do this.
I'm just helping you out.
And this isn't like a yarn.
I actually, what is it?
It's coming up soon.
And thank you.
Because you promised people things on my behalf.
I don't like it.
You'll like this one.
Well, there's a 50% chance.
You either will or you won't.
First up, though, things you can say, get in a tat,
and also in the bedroom.
Is that not what people say?
That's so funny.
Is it?
Get in a tat.
Get in a tat.
Get in a tat. Do a tat. Getting a tat.
Do people say getting a tat?
Like you got tats?
Or is that a gross thing to say?
It's not gross.
I just wouldn't say it.
How many tattoos have you got?
I don't have very many.
Only like one, two, like four or five.
If you don't know the exact number, that's.
Oh, just because I forget.
I've had, I got this tattoo on my shoulder.
I got when I was 15.
Really?
Or 16, yeah.
So like I've fucking had it over 10 years.
I just don't even think about it.
Because that's a clean skin.
When you say.
Another lame thing to say.
When you say not, like for me, two's a lot because it's two more than zero.
Yeah.
The default.
Totally.
When you go, oh, no, not many, just like four or five.
I'm like, mate, you're a tattoo person.
I want to be a tattoo person, but I can't fucking afford to be.
Well, you better chat to your finance team about that.
Get your priorities straight.
Maybe do that before you buy my house or your boat.
All right.
Things you can say getting a tattoo and also in the bedroom.
Is this safe?
Do you have insurance?
The whole family gets it done here.
I think you did my grandma.
Multi-generational.
How far do you normally, like, stick it in?
As far as it goes, which is actually not that far.
Right into the dermis.
I don't know what that means.
It's like one of the levels of the skin.
Okay.
My parents would hate to know I've had this done to me.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Are you going to tell them?
Are you going to keep it a secret?
I'll try and keep it a secret.
But, you know, sometimes you're walking back from the shower,
they see stuff hanging out.
Yeah.
Should I take my shirt off this?
Up to you, really.
What would you prefer?
Like you're imagining you're getting a tattoo on your foot.
Did you even take my shirt off?
And they're like, no, not really, man.
Do you reckon they would get that all the time?
Yeah.
People are like, oh, do you want me to take my pants off?
They're like, no, it's okay.
It hurts way less than I expected, actually.
Yeah.
Tony, I'm going to get you to turn around.
You're going to feel a little prick and it's going to go really,
really hard until it's all over your back.
How long is it going to take?
It depends how good I'm feeling and it depends how much pain you're experiencing.
Could you numb it first?
They do that in some places.
I just wanted to ask.
Would you like your whole body covered?
In the numbing cream?
Or the ink?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, the ink.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I just want to make sure that the cost doesn't include, like,
the deposit I already put down because I paid $100 the other day.
So have you taken that into account?
I have.
And even though it's small, it's always $100 minimum.
And it's worth the money.
It's worth the money, I believe.
Because it'll last forever.
One bad decision can ruin your whole life.
Things you can say everywhere and also in the bedroom.
I think I'm going to take some photos and pop them on Instagram if that's okay.
I can tag you.
I'd love that.
I'd love the credit.
Just in case anybody else is interested in your work.
Imagine influencers for, like, hookups.
Hey, guys, just to let you know, fuck this guy, really great.
I fucked a lot of guys in my time, but he really specialised in this
and made me feel special.
I used my code.
When I was younger, I wasn't sure, but once I copped one,
I was like, I want this all the time.
They say it's like an addiction.
Yeah.
It's a gateway prick.
If you can afford it.
Yeah, I mean, the price is right.
Oh, shit.
Is that bleeding?
We got a bleeder.
How long should it burn for?
Oh.
I think if you go down to the chemist, they can help you out with that.
I don't have a booking, but do you take walk-ins?
Just imagining, like, someone scrolling through Tinder and they're like,
oh, I didn't, what?
Do you take walk-ins?
Sorry, did you have a booking, mate?
No, but you're free?
Yeah, sure.
Would you like me face down or on my side?
Ooh.
Do you have a preference?
Can you face me so that we can kiss?
Say that at both.
Maybe only if you know each other.
I'm glad you asked, though.
Or do you mind if we take a little break?
I think I need something to eat.
I specialise in the Tadakuta.
It's some in the pink, a bit in the stink, and I'll cover you with my ink. Tadakuta. It's some in the pink, a bit in the stink,
and I'll cover you with my ink.
Tadakuta.
I was like, oh, what's that?
That sounds cute.
That sounds lovely.
Oh, I've been waiting for this for months.
Well, your time is now.
You know what it's like?
Bit of a dry spell.
If my dad saw this, he'd kill both of us.
I bet.
My friend does this herself at home.
Really?
Yeah.
I could honour.
Yeah, stick and poke.
Yeah, save a bit of cash.
Yeah.
Stick and poke.
Tony, I love your creativity.
You're doing stuff I've never even thought of.
You love it when it's a bit different, don't you?
Yeah.
Like I know it's always kind of the same, but just a little one percenters.
A little flair.
Yeah.
Oh, I love this and it's going to be with me forever.
You know, and you just really can't forget one.
Yeah.
Yeah, it stays up here.
Which one's in your mind?
And on here.
Oh.
Do you mind if I put my headphones in and listen to some music
while you go at it?
No, actually.
I don't mind at all.
This one is really, really special because now me and my sister
have matching ones.
Don't you remember you did her the other week?
Oh, yeah.
Sorry, it took me a while to read you.
I was like, this looks familiar-ish.
Yeah, sorry, I was looking at your face.
Yeah.
Turn around.
Oh!
Oh, yeah.
You're Tony's friend, yeah. You're Tony's friend, yeah.
Do bikies come here all the time?
Yeah, they do.
And they come in round the back.
Done the whole gang.
Hi, it's Tac Karma from Melbourne, Australia,
and you're listening to Tony and Ryan.
As women, our life stages come with unique risk factors,
like when our estrogen levels drop during menopause,
causing the risk of heart disease to go up.
Know your risks.
Visit heartandstroke.ca
A massive shout out to a few of our champion tapas over at our Patreon.
Matt Hickey, thank you.
Taryn Caruso.
Jordan Dittman.
Thanks, George.
Sarah Thompson. Dittman and a hickey in the same night.
Oh, things you can say in the bedroom.
Sarah Thompson.
Emily Cassell, thank you.
Nakoma.
Brittany Whittaker, thank you so much.
Do you know how fucking good Whittaker's chocolate is?
Is that the Whittaker? thank you so much. Do you know how fucking good Whittaker's chocolate is? Is that the Whittaker?
No, don't think so.
First of all, yes, Whittaker's chocolate's good.
So good.
But I believe this podcast is aligned to Toblerone
because you're married to the hair of the Toblerone throne.
So the fact you would just willy-nilly throw out some other chocolate brands.
I'm really sorry.
Do you want to get written out of that will?
We'll have to talk to our PR team about that.
You'll have to talk to your legal team and your finance
team. It's just a real sucking up to do.
Oh my God. Sorry. I've just kicked the table.
Ow, that really hurt. Carice Thompson,
Josh Doughty, Nick
Lindstrom and Gigi Shelley. Thank you so much
for being part of our Patreon. You fucking love us, Sam.
I've actually been hanging out with the Champion Tarpers.
I don't like this.
Don't hang out with my friends without me.
Are you the kind of person who likes doing arts and crafts?
Now, Tony, is that you?
What did you say the other day to me?
I love doing arts and crafts.
What kind of stuff do you do?
I love getting my hot glue gun out.
I love like Torbs and I every year for birthdays and anniversaries,
like we always make our cards.
Oh, that's cute.
Like we never buy them.
So that's like something fun.
And one of my best friends, Lane, like for her birthday
when she lived in Australia, I would always give her
like a little handmade card and stuff.
That's the cutest fucking thing ever.
But the thing is, is that craft is like hard to do
when you don't have something.
Like because whenever I'm like, oh, what should I do this afternoon?
Torbs is like, why don't you do some craft?
I'm like, well, you can't just craft for no reason.
So you need a reason.
I need like something to actually craft for.
So when I was hanging out with the Tafas.
What did you do?
Grab a beer or something?
Yeah, and I explained this situation and I said,
Tony loves arts and crafts, but she needs a reason. So champion tarpers, tell me your reason and Tony will make you a card.
Okay.
So you've just given me another job.
Just the one.
Just the one.
Just one?
We might do a few more seeing how this goes, but I've got one for today.
Okay.
And I think given you like to get the hot glue gun out, I think you could retell this
story in visual cutout form.
Okay.
Now, Lynn Sanchez.
Oh, my God.
Does this mean I can buy a heap of fucking craft shit and claim it on tax?
Yes, it does.
Fuck yeah!
I've never seen you more excited.
And I've seen you sit in front of 200 nuggets,
and I've never seen you that excited.
Craft shit's so fucking expensive.
Is it?
Do you know what else I'd love to do?
What?
A cake decorating workshop.
Maybe that can be a live stream.
Even though I hate to learn, I'd love to do that.
Like a participant or teach one?
Not a participant.
I don't know anything about it.
But I'd love to learn how to do the icing on cake.
You know how they do the florets and the borders and stuff.
Because people who saw us do the Christmas dessert challenge
on YouTube would be offended.
I'd be surprised to hear that I could teach a class, which I can't.
Well, it's fair to say that of the two of us,
you weren't the worst at it.
I'd be closer out of us.
Okay, well, I'm glad you're excited because you were nervous before,
but this is your area.
I'm excited about claiming craft shit on tax.
Well, Lynn Sanchez.
Now, you may remember Lynn.
Oh, Lynn's everywhere.
Yeah, she's everywhere.
Hey, Lynn.
Now, you may remember Lynn Sanchez.
She had a guy that she was dating.
Yep.
And the guy said, it's either me or the dog.
The dog.
Yep.
And she went, well, pack your stuff up, bud.
See you the fuck later.
See you later.
I've got to get dog food. She loves her dog, Rudy. Oh. or the dog. The dog, yep. And she went, well, pack your stuff up, bud. See you the fuck later. See you later.
I've got to get dog food.
She loves her dog, Rudy.
Loves Rudy.
Little Rudy.
Now, Lynn's met a new man.
And the new bloke and the dog are best friends. Not only do they get along, they are besties.
They are tight.
Now, the problem is the new man's name is also Rudy.
What are the odds of that?
Unbelievable.
Two Rudys.
It sounds a bit like us.
A couple of Rudys.
A couple of Rudys.
Fun fact, when my dog BJ is not wearing a collar,
I call him Nudie Rudy because he's naked without a collar.
They've decided to become just friends, good friends,
and they go walking the dog regally and stuff.
Oh, so Rudy's not a romantic partner anymore?
Not at this stage, no, because Lynn couldn't bring herself
to do the hippity-dippity with someone who has the same name as her dog.
Could we give the bloke a nickname?
That's a great idea.
Maybe.
Schmoody.
Maybe the romantic partner, we could just call them Rue or something.
Well, they've decided that they're just going to be friends.
Yeah, it's probably not our choice.
Actually, just to give an example of why this might be tough
or maybe a way to differentiate it, Tony, how would you,
if you're at the dog park, call Rudy to come over?
Rudy!
Rudy!
And if you were getting railed in a sundress by a bloke named Rudy,
what would that sound like?
Rudy!
Oh, Rudy!
So you can see with every crossover.
Yeah, it's like what I imagine people go through if they're dating someone
who has the same name as their mum or dad.
Yeah.
I actually almost did a breakfast radio show with a lady named Mandy.
Was it a Mandy Catalano?
No, no.
Up on the central coast.
Do you know Mandy?
No.
Mandy Patinkin?
No.
No.
Anyway.
But with the, I grew up with my mum Mandy, it was always like Mandy and Ryan, Mandy and Ryan.
Yeah.
And I couldn't ever fathom having.
I'm here that.
Yeah.
Oh, Mandy and Ryan.
But like not my mum.
Like then I'm Mandy.
And then if you're talking about your mum and then Mandy's like,
how is Mandy?
How confusing.
It's too confusing.
It's too confusing.
So like I sort of get it.
I get it.
I do get it.
Yeah.
Don't shit where you ain't.
But Lynn says, I would like a card from Tony celebrating that I've made
new friends because making friends as an adult is kind of hard.
We both love the dog.
Got someone to walk the dog with,
and she's living her best life.
Oh.
So would you be able to retell the story in craft?
Oh, I'm telling the story or making a card?
But won't the card, like, embrace the story?
Okay.
Maybe not frame for frame, but, you know.
I've already thought of it.
Sorry we couldn't get nudie.
Wanted to let you know that I love you, Rudy.
That's quite good.
Yeah, I'll make that. And you'll craft it up?
Yeah, I'll craft the shit out of it, Lynn.
You're going to not know what's fucking
here. Where's Lynn based?
I'll find out some info and actually just while
we talk logistics. I wonder how much the postage
is going to cost. I'll take care of that for you.
Oh yeah, the shipping officer, of course.
Excuse me. Yeah, sorry mate. Don't shit where you wait.
That's my job. Well, I'm copy and you're shipping.
I'm also the chief not masturbating officer.
I don't know if you saw that.
I did see that.
I don't think we should have to clarify that.
You just love attention, so I get it.
I was saying not.
Do you want any other info from Lynne, i.e.,
do you need a picture of the dog or the guy, like to add to the –
because am I pitching you like cutting stuff out and sticking it in the car? I mean, it could be. do you need a picture of the dog or the guy, like to add to the – because am I picturing you like cutting stuff out
and sticking it in the car?
I mean, it could be.
We all know the answers.
I need to just let my imagination run wild on this one.
Will you let me know if you need any assistance with –
Okay, a bit more info.
Yeah.
Yeah, okay.
Okay.
All right, I appreciate that.
Do you like that?
Thank you.
I do like that.
You also appreciate this.
Thanks for getting me one to do.
And not three.
Because imagine if you were like, here's 10 cards you have to make.
That would have been overwhelming.
Two things.
Yep.
Off air between Tony and I, there has been a lot of, hey,
let's not get ahead of ourself and do all this extra shit.
We've still got a lot of like busy things to do.
And then I just keep organising stuff, like bonus episodes and craft.
Second of all, you appreciate the name.
I called it Tarps and Craft. Oh, I do like that yeah thank you i thought that's very cute yeah i do love that
all right well i've i'm really excited about that thank you yeah um also today though i did want to
talk about something that's come up in my life that i just need to kind of like vibe check about.
This is a thing now, right?
Asking for like a silent appointment.
Like in an Uber?
You can click a button apparently?
Yeah, right.
So like I'm pretty sure that if you book your ride, if you pay a little bit more, you can say I'd prefer a silent service.
Surely you don't have to pay for that.
I think it's like not on.
So like UberX is like the basic one and Uber Plus or something.
Oh, has the option.
Like the next one, that's the one with the option.
Oh, no wonder I haven't seen it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So I think it's with the bit more expensive tier.
There was a place where, I think you've been there as well,
where Bridget got her hair cut and they said,
we don't talk about COVID.
Yeah.
You know how there was that moment where everyone you spoke to was just like,
oh, how bad is it?
And they just went, you know what?
COVID free zone. Let's COVID free zone. And they kind of was just like, oh, how bad is it? And they just went, you know what? COVID-free zone.
Let's COVID-free zone.
And they kind of had this like, we won't be talking about COVID.
I like that.
So this is actually about that hair salon.
Really?
Because I go to the same salon as Bridget does.
Your hair looks great, by the way.
Thank you so much.
It really needs to get done.
It hasn't been done for a while.
Thank you so much.
They posted on their Instagram and it was like, wow, we love kids,
but our salon isn't the place for them.
Oh.
Kind of thing, right?
And I was like, oh, that's like good that they're like putting a boundary in.
And I know that saying that like rubs the wrong way.
Yep. But when it's expensive and like the
thing that you're going to do is like, you're there for a little while, people are going there
as like their relax time or whatever. I actually get it. What percentage, if you were to like
divide it up, is like actually getting your haircut might be like 80%
of the experience.
Yeah.
And 20% might be like, I'm going to get treated today.
Exactly.
I'm going to relax, get a little head massage, get the wash.
I reckon it's higher than that, to be honest.
But it's a part of it.
Exactly.
Not with blokes where they're like, cut it as fast as you can,
let me get the fuck out of here.
Exactly.
Yes.
I'm here for the day.
It's to like relax and settle in.
And the way that they framed it was it's not just for other patrons but for you as well.
Good sell.
That's what I thought too.
Don't bring your fucking kids in.
Leave them at home or get a babysitter or something.
If you're going to get a massage, you wouldn't have your pesky kid in.
You're not bringing your kid in with you.
Jason, stop playing with the thing, Jason!
Yeah.
So not only is it annoying for someone childless like me to hear that, but also for the mum or the dad or whoever, it's their time.
So I thought, fuck, they've sold that really well.
Anyway, they also justified it with, like, they said, we want a premium experience to be available.
We want you and all of our patrons to be relaxed.
They also said, plus with our new silent appointment option,
it's a great time to bury yourself in work or a good book or whatever.
Because is there, and just to help me understand,
when you're getting it, if you're getting colours and stuff, there is a bit of like waiting
around between like while it's drying or setting, right?
Well, remember last time I got my hair done,
it took like four and a half hours.
It takes a long fucking time.
If you want to bring a book or listen to a podcast,
you're going to have a bit of time to spare.
Yeah.
But also them actually doing stuff takes a long time too.
So I've got really thick hair.
So when they are doing my hair, a lot of it is actually them doing stuff.
You're not really sitting there on your own for two hours of it.
They're kind of tending to you the whole time.
And they've got at this place that I go, it's beautiful.
And they've sold this perfectly.
I'm not hanging shit on them at all.
It's gorgeous. They've've sold this perfectly. I'm not hanging shit on them at all. It's gorgeous.
They've got like a full drinks menu.
So they've got like every type of tea you could want.
They do wine.
They do cocktails.
They also do like mocktails.
Do you go a cocktail when you're there?
Do you treat yourself?
I don't.
It's just not really my thing, but they do this lovely like spritz thing.
It's like jasmine and lavender kind of like non-alcoholic spritz.
Little soda, yeah.
That's fun.
It's lovely.
So it's kind of different stuff like that you wouldn't normally have.
It's all part of the treat yourself experience.
Exactly.
So the whole thing is like beautiful.
But when you think about a silent Uber, right, you're like, oh, great,
15 minutes and I'm probably going to do emails in the car or whatever.
Four or five hours.
That's a lot of silent time.
That's a long time.
When was the last time you hadn't spoken for four hours straight?
Never.
It's never happened.
I talk in my sleep.
But also, I'm just like, is that really rude?
Because in times gone by, right, I would never have clicked that option
because I'd be like, no, I love chatting and I love, you know, doing the thing.
I think when the Uber thing came out, we talked about it
and I was like, I can't see.
You'd be too awkward.
You'd have to say hello or ask your days.
Imagine if the driver chose the silent option on you the past day.
Yeah, they'd put it on me.
I'd get like an alert.
They're like, your driver has selected silent.
You'd be like, oh, fuck, righto.
But like the difference between that and like a four
or five-hour appointment being silent,
don't you think that that's just, like, a bit rude?
In times gone by, I would never select that, right?
But now I talk nonstop for my job.
I kind of want to sit there and not talk to someone,
but I feel like it's really rude.
But they're offering it.
But I also feel like if I'm sitting there and I'm just like,
don't fucking talk to me.
Yeah, but you're not rude though.
I think here's the difference.
And like tell me if I'm wrong.
Because I'd love to select.
I actually need your advice because I'd love to select it because I'm like,
how good would sitting there and not talking to someone for four hours be?
I know you are.
Yeah, mate.
Like it's actually heaven to me right now.
We know that you're zero to 100, Toni.
Yeah.
You're either off or you're on.
Yeah.
You're going or you're not.
Yeah.
And this is why it might be hard.
Yeah.
But I reckon if they changed it to like silent option to like the more chill option.
So it's maybe like 10%.
Hey, how you going?
Good.
Cool.
Just settle in, babe.
I'll take care of it.
I'm just going to go this, this and this, but you just relax, okay?
You know what I mean?
So mate, because you hear silent
and you go, do I walk in
and ignore them? How do I know what they're
going to do? What if my hair turns purple?
Because I haven't told them that.
Why is she
shaving my hair? Do I say something? Well, I can't.
I'm not allowed to speak silence.
I can imagine you walking in, right, and they go,
oh, are you the two o'clock?
And I'm like.
And you're like, my me?
I reckon, like, teach yourself,
incept yourself that it means more silent than usual.
Because.
And then acknowledge it.
Go to the side and go, oh, have many people taken the silent option?
I wasn't sure about it.
And she'll go, oh, yeah, like, you know, 30%.
And you go.
See, I did that last time I was there.
Laid the groundwork.
And I was like, oh, do many people do the silent option?
But for me, it wasn't, it's not the groundwork. It's the, like, a bit of chat to, like, oh, do many people do the silent option? But for me it wasn't, it's not the groundwork,
it's the like a bit of chat to like acknowledge the silence.
Right.
To kind of just go, oh, is it a bit weird?
Because I felt a bit weird picking it.
And they'll go, no, it's actually fine.
And I'll go, oh, cool.
Well, like, you know, I'll just relax and you do your work and, you know.
Yeah.
So it's kind of like you're easing it in.
You're kind of just like fading off.
Yeah. Because how many times can I talk about whating it in. You're kind of just like fading off. Yeah.
Because how many times can I talk about what I'm fucking watching on Netflix?
I know, right.
Do you know what I mean?
Yeah.
And Bridget, who does my hair, is not your wife, obviously.
But she's fucking lovely.
Yeah.
I really like her.
But I just can't.
What are you doing on the weekend?
For five fucking hours?
Yeah.
Come on.
Who?
Who's got any?
Right now, I don't have that much small talk in me.
I was going to say.
Normally I do.
I don't think.
Not anymore.
I was about to say, does anyone?
Actually, you would at times.
I do, but not at the moment.
And I'm just thinking about it and I'm like,
am I rude to pick that silent option knowing that I'm going
to be sitting there for five hours with her?
Okay, I've got more questions. Okay. When do they find out that you option knowing that I'm going to be sitting there for five hours with her. Okay, I've got more questions.
Okay.
When do they find out that you've selected that option?
Okay, so apparently in the little reminder text two days
before the appointment they say, are you coming?
Yep.
And reply with why?
And then would you like this to be a silent treatment?
Okay, so that's like the business.
You tick a box and something in the IT system gets ticked off.
Yep.
But this is what I'd be scared of.
Yep.
Right?
Is that you're sitting in,
because there's always a little seat at the front when you walk in.
Yep, I'm here for two o'clock.
Great, just grab a seat, babe.
We'll be with you in a sec.
Yep.
And then they kind of walk over, they pick up the work phone,
like, you know, the equivalent of the clipboard, the iPad, whatever.
Yeah.
They come over and go, Tony Felicia Lodge.
Is that you?
Oh, yeah, that's me.
Great.
You're in for two o'clock?
Yep.
And you wanted.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Sorry.
You wanted the silent appointment.
You didn't want me to.
Oh, I fucking talked to you then.
Oh, okay.
Sorry.
I just got to talk to myself.
That's what I'm worried is going to happen.
When they find out is actually important.
You know what I'm saying?
Oh, I see.
So if they knew, yep, Tony's coming in so we'll just be a bit chill
because that's what she's asked for.
But if they find out whilst they're standing in front of you.
Yes.
Or what about halfway through?
If they're fucking chatting away and then they go, oh, my God,
you opted for silence.
Sorry, doll.
And I'm like.
And then they have to apologise and you have to go.
And they over-apologise to the point where like silence is a problem.
I'm so sorry.
And then all of a sudden I'm like, so what are you watching on Netflix?
Have you seen Stranger Things?
Weather's good.
What are you doing on the weekend?
COVID's clearing up.
So when's the appointment?
Mine seemed like a month.
It's a little bit away, but they posted that on Instagram
and I thought, fuck, I need to ask what you reckon about this.
Okay.
So the appointment's in a month.
We'll watch this space.
Yeah.
Update pending.
I'll decide what I go with.
Maybe you could do the arts and crafts whilst in the chair.
Could I plug in my hot glue gun?
Is that okay?
Actually, when are you done with that hairdryer?
Yeah, I'd love to dry this off before I get in the Uber on the way home.
Silent option.
Silent option.
You'll love to see it.
We finish every episode with a...
And this is something that's, like, close to my heart.
Oh.
So, in Australian football, I bagged for the Hawthorne Hawks.
Yeah.
And always have, right?
Always have.
It's like, yeah, whole life.
So, my dad's dad, my pop, he was a scout for Hawthorne back in the day.
Like,
you know,
go to watch the juniors
and like pick out the players.
How cool.
And he worked for the club.
It was like the club handyman
helped build all the
behind the scenes stuff
before it was,
you know,
big corporations that they are now.
And he was on the board
for many years as well.
And then my dad was in the Hawk squad.
And so like,
I really had no choice
and not that I want
because I'm like
born and bred,
I'm a Hawks man.
So this Saturday night, the Hawthorne Hawks women's team
plays their first ever game in history because Australian football
is trying to, like, professionalise and make the women's league legit.
So they sort of started with a few teams and it's expanded
and it's growing.
So this is the first season where every men's club has to have
a women's club and they're all in.
Fuck yeah.
It's huge.
So I thought, considering I've been a Hawks guy forever,
what a moment in history to go to the first ever –
because then I'll be able to tell my grandkids,
oh, the first game in history, I was there.
So I thought, how good is this?
The game, I couldn't get a ticket because it sold out in 12 minutes.
Whoa.
I mean, sucks for you, but how fucking awesome is that?
Sold out.
And because they, I don't know how to say this.
This is what they decided.
They don't necessarily play in the bigger stadiums
because they don't draw as big a crowd.
And as someone who's played in some big stadiums with zero people in it,
it's actually better to be in a smaller place that kind of feels a bit busy.
So they put them in slightly smaller stadiums.
So there's still a bit of atmosphere.
They sell it out.
And then the AFL comes out and goes, we're moving the game to Marvel Stadium with 60,000
seats.
Fuck yeah.
So now I can go.
And for the first ever Hawthorne Hawks women's game, they're playing against the Essendon
Bombers.
And it's their first game as well.
That's this Saturday night.
60,000 people.
Has it sold out there as well?
I don't think so because it's almost impossible to sell out because there's like general admin
and standing room and stuff.
But that is going to rock.
Fuck yeah.
And you've got tickets.
Yeah.
And it's going to be, would you say, is this like a moment in history?
Definitely.
Oh my God.
It's massive.
And because there's so much chat as well about how they don't get paid
as well as the men's team.
So I feel like they're moving it into a bigger stadium
is just the first step in that direction of it being equal to the men's.
Absolutely.
Oh, you don't get paid as much because you don't get the crowds and stuff.
Well, they fucking are.
Sold out, mate.
Not a good excuse anymore.
Moved over to Marvel.
Yeah.
Fuck yeah.
I love that.
I love to see that.
That's awesome.
How about them Hawks?
Count the Hawkers. Okay. My love to see that. That's awesome. How about them Hawks? Yeah. Count the Hawkers.
Okay.
My love to see it this week is from Michael Lemon, who shared in our Facebook group.
My love to see it is it's my first week of my psychology internship.
The last step before becoming a psychologist.
Whoa.
After 10 years of college and four degrees.
What?
This is my last step before I'm fucking full blondesies.
Incredible.
So, Mike, fucking good on you.
You love to see that.
Look at everybody we love making waves.
Fucking love that.
Could you imagine having four degrees?
I know you love to learn.
I actually really can't.
I mean, I can't even decide whether I want to sell an appointment or not.
So, I'm probably not the right person.
Would you like to study this course or that course?
Be quiet, please.
But not too quiet.
But you fucking love to see that.
So thanks for sharing that with us.
And there is a You Love To See It thread in our Facebook group
that we'll pin every Monday.
So you can share all the good shit that happens to you
or that you see online.
And we would love to fucking cop that.
Yep.
And if you see me at the football, don't
ask me what my phone battery is because someone
did that last time and it really fucked me up. Yeah,
okay, alright. Please don't fuck off Ryan.
And it was hard to explain to my friends. Do not touch the
celebrities. No, that's not what
it was really hard to explain to my friend because someone
goes, oh Ryan, what's your phone battery at?
And my friend's like, what the fuck just happened?
Yeah, that's not his business.
I mean, out of context, it is confusing for everyone.
But tomorrow on the show, we're going to do audio.
That's a stretch.
Yeah.
And I've seen you do yoga.
Love you.
Bye.