Toni and Ryan - Ins and Outs
Episode Date: January 2, 2023THE ONLY INS AND OUTS LIST FOR 2023 YOU NEED! Andddddd drumroll please: Our HOT FUN GARBAGE coming to a city near you (if you live in Melbourne)! Love ya!!!!! Toni xoxox Check out our Patreon at patre...on.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Plus you can find the links to pre-order Toni's book here! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Welcome to the podcast. I'm Tony Lodge. This is Ryan John.
We're calling Aunt Banana.
Aunt Banana?
Aunt Banana in Wisconsin.
Aunt Banana's been part of the Patreon for a long time.
Really?
Yeah.
Hello?
Oh my God, Aunt Banana!
Tony and Ryan!
Hi!
Yes! Hello, will you approve the podcast?
Of course I will!
Yay!
Hey, this is Aunt Banana from Wisconsin and I approve this podcast.
All right, coming up, a hot, fun, garbage announcement
for this hot, fun, garbage podcast.
Do you feel like we should do like a welcome back?
Haven't done a new episode since last year.
Okay.
Tony and I are going to do our ins and outs of 2023.
You would have seen it all over.
I feel like everyone's doing ins and outs.
I think everyone's doing them, and they're controversial, aren't they?
Yeah.
So we've got our ins and outs and before you make any gags,
we'll just see what comes up.
What is in and what is out?
But, Tony, please, what's in for you this year?
Okay.
So this is both a personal in, the first one,
and also I think a worldwide in.
Okay.
Being honest, saying what we want.
No open offers.
Empty offers.
You know what I mean?
Okay, yeah.
Like, you know when someone goes like, oh, I bought two cupcakes.
One's chocolate, one's vanilla.
Which one do you want?
You go, oh, I don't mind.
Just say which one you want.
Yeah.
You know?
Yep.
Or if you go, oh, do you want to start at seven or eight tomorrow?
And I go, eight.
Do you know what I mean?
I do.
I'm not very honest, Norm.
No, you're too polite.
Exactly.
Not that I'm a liar.
That makes me sound really bad.
Someone said this the other day because we've had people around a few times.
Yeah.
And I was like, oh, did you want me to get you a Pimms or did you want the Mojito?
Yeah.
And they go.
I don't mind.
And I'm like.
You're just making my fucking life more difficult.
Yeah, you're not doing me a favour by not saying.
Just tell me what you want and I'll grab it.
Now I have to make a decision.
And also when you're the host, you just want people
to have the sickest time you can.
Yeah.
So if you go, do you want the Mojito or the Pimms?
And they go, I'd actually love a beer.
You go, fucking let me figure that out.
Do you know what I mean?
Thank you.
The other inn that I have.
Sorry, did you like when I made you that drink when you were in my pool?
I did love that drink actually.
So Ryan and I spent New Year's Eve together, which was lovely, wasn't it?
Yeah.
In the pool.
And Tony was in the pool and was like, oh, I'm feeling a G&T.
And I was like, mate.
Well, I actually just asked for a soda water.
You were like, I'll make you a G&T.
And that was lovely.
It was a zero alcohol one.
Yeah.
It was really fucking – what's the brand?
Oh, I'll put it in the show because it's a hard recommendation.
It's really, really good.
Because we've now discovered non-alcoholic sparkling,
non-alcoholic wine, non-alcoholic beers.
With a pregnant wife.
Yeah, and all our friends have got kids and breastfeeding and stuff.
And because I drove because I was like, oh,
it's like all a bit hard with Pippa and everything. It's fucking hot in here, eh? It's fucking – Yeah. Breastfeeding and stuff. And because I drove because I was like, oh, it's like all a bit hard with Pippa and everything.
It's fucking hot in here, eh?
It's fucking.
Yeah.
Do we put the fan back on?
In the studio right now.
It's about 40 degrees outside and I reckon it's about 45 in here.
We haven't lasted.
Do we turn the lights off?
I don't know.
No.
They can't see our beautiful face.
I think we power through.
Okay.
The professionals we are.
In.
Talk quick.
My other in, free to air TV. No. Yep. Yep. Okay. The professionals we are. Inns. Talk quick. My other inn, free to air TV.
No.
Yep.
Yep.
Okay.
And let me explain.
No.
No.
Ah!
Okay.
Let me explain.
Ah, disagreeing with my inns.
Over the break, right?
Yeah, fuck.
There is so much choice online.
You got Stan, Binge, Netflix, fucking KO.
Yeah. I don't know. What's the other one disney plus um paramount plus paramount plus fuck they're all plus aren't they no one's a negative
isn't that interesting tony and ryan negative coming in 2024 streaming service it's spotify
oh yeah sorry um and then there was a few times where i just went, fuck, do you want to just put the telly on?
And we watched some Border Security.
We watched, you know, we watched heaps of shit.
I love that you couldn't name a single other show
because the only thing that's on Channel 7 at the moment
is Border Security.
Border Security reruns.
Yeah.
They're quite old ones.
I just think, you know how people kind of go back
to old traditions?
They go like, we were talking about this once before,
how businesses go like, oh, no managers, no hierarchy,
everyone's the same.
And now people on LinkedIn are going, look, I've got a crazy idea.
Managers.
I want to know who my boss is.
I want to know who I report to.
And then all of a sudden you kind of revert back and then in five,
ten years everyone will go,
all right, no hierarchy anymore.
So I think that all this streaming has just made me go,
you know what, I'm back on free-to-air, baby.
She's back.
It's a bit like so the other day, I have another example of this.
The other day I went to order something online
and went I kind of need it today and I went,
I've got to go to the shops.
I've got this wild idea.
I don't have to pay for shipping.
I don't have to wait for it to come to my house.
I think I did the same thing.
I needed some, because people were coming around for a swim and I didn't really have
any like board shorts.
Yeah.
And I was like, oh, if I order it today, it won't get here till next year.
Yeah, and you go.
So I just wanted to go and buy some.
I'll go to the shop.
And honestly, I've gone back fucking 10 years and it's great.
Yeah.
How are you?
There's no one in there.
You go into a shop, it's fucking empty.
Yeah.
There's no one in there.
There's six people that work there all getting paid fucking time and a half.
Good for them.
And doing nothing.
Doing fuck all.
Double the pay, half the work.
And you go, yes, I'd love to buy these towels. Thank you so much. Good for them. And doing nothing. Doing fuck all. Double the pay, half the work.
You get three people come and overtune. You go, yes, I'd love to buy these towels.
Thank you so much.
You feel like the Queen of Sheba.
They do great.
They get a customer.
I get the stuff straight away.
Don't have to pay for shipping.
Love that for me.
That's a fucking video, Franco.
I think people will like that.
So hang on.
So should I change my in to shopping in store?
In store shopping.
Yeah.
I know that you were incepted by me on Free To Air TV during our break. So hang on. So should I change my in to shopping in store? In store shopping. Yeah.
I know that you were incepted by me on free-to-air TV during our break because we had like a few weeks apart and then you were watching free-to-air
and I turned up on the TV and you were just like,
can't get rid of this guy.
Yes, yes.
I was just like the TV was on.
Free-to-air and I'm like, oh, I'm employed by them.
We love Channel 7 and their streaming service, 7 Plus.
So apparently it's similar to the do you want the mojito whatever.
Yeah.
Apparently Netflix was considering coming out with a channel
that just plays stuff because it's like decision fatigue.
So do you know what I mean?
I can't be bothered choosing what to watch.
So Netflix are creating their own free-to-air.
But they came out and they're like, guys, we've got a game-changing idea.
And then someone tweets going, it already exists.
Yeah, and it's free.
Why would I pay to watch free-to-air on Netflix?
I think we've talked about this before, but when there were like,
during COVID, you know how there were like health updates hourly
and everything was like news got old real quick.
Yeah.
And someone goes, they need to have like podcasts that are like live
where people can call in and like because it's happening right now.
And someone's like, that's radio, bro.
Yeah.
That's the thing.
Podcasts replaced.
Replaced, yeah.
Oh, my God.
And then people are like, they should live stream that somewhere.
I'm like, yeah, they do.
On TV.
Yeah.
It's another app that you need.
So you're in for 2023 is 2007.
Yes.
Yes.
Don't you love to see that?
Well, those examples, I mean, the evidence.
Do you know what I mean?
I do.
I just think we all need to take a step back.
Yeah.
Okay.
I like it.
Yeah.
What are you inning for 2023?
We've mentioned how hot it is in the studio. Should we open the door? It's fucking hot, hey? Yeah, I'm just going to open the it. Yep. What are you inning 2023? We've mentioned how hot it is in the studio.
Should we open the door?
It's fucking hot, hey?
Yeah, I'm just going to open the door.
Don't look at my bum.
I'm wearing very tiny shorts.
And you're wearing underwear, mate?
Yeah, I am.
Not much of it.
So my in, and the reason I have to open the door because it's cool out there,
because I'm going to put this overshirt on.
You're wearing a flannel ash.
That's going to be warm, mate.
It is warm.
But the reason I'm putting it on is because one of my ins for 2023 is colour.
Now, obviously this hideous shirt is not a great example.
It's in fact a harrowing shirt.
It's awful.
I get that.
But you and I, especially you, have traditionally been plain clothed people.
Okay.
Well, currently I'm wearing a white t-shirt, black shorts and black underwear because you
just saw it.
I did.
Yep.
And blank black slides.
So I'm a no on the colour.
Love that for you though.
I'll just watch free-to-air TV in my black clothes.
And the reason, and maybe I'm just like rebe colour. Love that for you though. I'll just watch free-to-air TV in my black clothes.
And the reason, and maybe I'm just like rebelling against something.
Okay.
There's this trend on TikTok and it's called sad beige babies. Have you seen this?
No.
I've been watching free-to-air TV.
Oh, sorry, mate.
When I explain this, it'll click right away.
Okay.
There's a lot of like Instagram mums. Yep.
That like the aesthetic has to be perfect.
Oh, yep.
I feel like that's not even just mums.
That's just Instagram full stop.
But it's like beige and a pink and a peach white and it's all sort of the same.
Pastel vibe.
But it's all this flat.
Flat, yes.
Apparently, well, not apparently, it's science.
Babies need colour and contrast.
It's great for their brain.
Help them learn, yeah.
So they have a lot of black and white images because it's the stark contrast
and then bright colours.
And I was chatting to this guy the other day who they were going to get this
fancy artistic cool rug.
And this other person who was working daycare, like, no,
you need to get one with zebras and big eyes and it just looks a bit hideous
but kids just need the visual stimulation.
Oh.
Yeah.
And then there's this TikTok and it's like,
could you imagine all these babies growing up in like these beige rooms
their whole life and then they just grow up and they're like,
and that's why it's sad beige babies because babies need colours
and excitement.
I didn't know that.
We know how you learn that red is passion and danger and excitement
and blue is calm and cool and green is nature.
That's how you learn stuff through colours.
Yeah, totally.
Can I take this shirt off now?
It's really fucking hot.
It looks really disgusting also.
Thank you.
Should I not wear that one again?
I don't like it personally.
Well, you and my wife can have a party.
But in is colour.
In is colour.
My second in for 2023 is Riz.
What's Riz?
It's short for charisma.
This is what the young people are saying.
So it's like the word Riz.
So you know when someone says, oh, like they've got game?
Yep.
But it's more like socially instead of like purely picking up like,
oh, they've got riz.
So in 2023, in is me saying riz.
I want to hang out.
You're saying it?
Yeah.
Okay.
Me is hanging out with people with riz.
You're doing it now?
It's me avoiding people with no riz.
Yeah.
And it's me, a 35-year-old white guy, learning to get some Riz in his life.
I want to develop Riz.
Riz is in.
Okay.
I am in Riz.
No, I don't think you're in Riz.
No, that last line.
No, Riz.
That's a very non-Riz thing to say.
I've got Riz.
You do have Riz.
I've got Riz.
You've got Riz.
So, okay, question.
I don't hate it.
To be quite honest with you, I don't hate it. I feel like the energy's a bit non-Riz now. Oh, okay. You I don't hate it, to be quite honest with you
I don't hate it
I feel like the energy's a bit non-riz now
You're losing riz
The riz-a-meter is down
I don't hate it
But it sounds quite forced from you
Is the only thing
But is that just because right now you're explaining it
So you know when you explain something,
it just never really feels right.
Well, I feel, like I said, I...
Can I just maybe quickly say something?
Maybe I challenge you to see if you can casually say Riz
between now and the end of the episode.
Okay.
Just see if you can drop it in and see how it feels.
Yeah.
Don't overthink it.
Just see how you vibe. Don't do it now. in and see how it feels. Yeah. Don't overthink it. Just see how you vibe.
Don't do it now.
I won't do it now.
I'm going to mention the word, but it's not me trying to do the thing.
Okay, yeah.
Is being Riz similar to like being cool and the harder you try,
the less of it you are?
Totally.
So if you're trying really hard to be Riz,
there's nothing less Riz than that.
So do you be Riz or you have Riz? I feel like you just are Riz or you're trying really hard to be riz there's nothing less riz than that so do you be riz or you have riz i feel like you just are riz or you're not okay because i think
that's where i'm getting confused whether you are it or you have it oh you know what i mean like
she is riz or she has riz okay no i think it's a has i think it's hard they're not being riz they
are but isn't it just that thing like she's got it it. Yep. Yeah, baby, she's got it.
That's a very non-Riz thing to say.
Yeah, that was.
But that's my in.
That's my in.
Colours and Riz.
Okay.
Well, I've got a couple of outs and it is a young people thing.
So Riz straight down.
This thing doesn't have Riz.
Don't come at me and my Gen Zs with that.
Out for 2023
people saying in my era i yeah i hate it i just don't get it oh she's in her villain era she's in
her white t-shirt era like you're fucking drinking some water and you go, she's in her water era. I'm like, no, you're drinking water.
Any era without water is you being dead.
Is dead.
Yeah, death.
Yeah.
Funeral era.
Like I just hate it.
It really, it's one of those, it really fucking rubs me the wrong way.
Maybe the first time you brought it to the pod,
but I've heard this many a time.
I have said this to you a few times.
And every time I see it, I'm like, look, you're living your best life
and that's great, but I just don't get it.
Maybe I just sound like an old fucking spiky bitch.
You know, whatever.
There is areas here where when I was thinking of some outro,
I'm like, am I just an arsehole?
Yeah.
But what I think, hey, can i try and turn what you're saying into
a positive you don't need to justify what you want to do with calling it an era just drink your
drink just wear your white shirt if you want to be a savage villain bitch just be it just don't
blame it on an era just live your villainous truth and maybe giving it a title helps people, like, gas them up.
Yeah.
And that's fine.
I just personally don't get it.
No.
Do you know what I mean?
Yeah.
Well, also, do you think there's, you know, it's like a compliment,
you know how Jenny from The Block, like, she knows where she came from.
Yeah.
She used to have a little and now she has a lot.
Yeah.
But she knows where she came from.
Yeah.
Her.
Yeah.
Don't be for my sake. Yeah. The thing about Ears is it's saying, like, but she knows where she came from. Yeah. Ho, ho. Yeah. Don't be formal.
Yeah.
The thing about Ears is it's saying, like, I change all the time.
Yeah.
But I think there's something to be said for, like, no.
I met someone that I hadn't seen since high school the other day and we were just hanging out and I was like, oh, yeah, you know.
Is that the guy that built your fence?
Yeah.
Yeah, nice.
And we were just, like, shooting the braids,
talking about the footy and whatever.
Yeah. And I was just, like, oh, you know, I was just, like, hanging out with y'all. I'm like, yeah, I'm the same person. And we were just like shooting the braids, talking about the footy and whatever. Yeah.
And I was just like, oh, you know,
I was just like hanging out with y'all.
I'm like, yeah, I'm the same person.
And it's almost a compliment.
It's like, oh, no, he's in his dickhead era.
Yeah.
Oh, he's in his this era.
I was like, no, I'm just standing from the block, bro.
Are you saying that you used to have a little bit now?
No, but you did swim in my pool the other day
and it was a bit of a flex.
Yeah, it was a bit of a flex.
Okay, so I personally think that's out for me.
No, I'm with that. That's out for me.
The other thing that's out for me is BBL, the Big Bash League.
Oh, BBL.
I thought it was like –
That I had a butt lift over the Christmas.
Visual Banty line?
Was that VPL?
VPL.
Okay, sorry.
Visual Banty line.
VPL.
Big Bash.
Big Bash, the cricket. Yeah.
Right?
So as everybody knows, over the summer holidays,
I always turn into somebody that I'm not.
And I watch heaps of cricket over the break.
Free day of TV, baby.
That's on literally every night.
Yeah.
Well, every day, I mean, if you're watching the test.
So it's like three days in a row.
Yep.
Thank you.
You look very impressed.
So we watch the test like all three days pretty much.
Yep.
Okay.
During the day.
Yep.
And we would kind of like flick over and watch something else
and then I'd go, oh, like let's check back in with the cricket.
Yeah.
We'd watch that for a bit.
You know, it's noise in the house.
It's really chill.
It's easy.
I learned how to score cricket as well.
Not score, like read the scores.
Read the scores because there's a lot of numbers. Because it's a lot learned how to score cricket as well or not score like read the scores because
there's a lot of numbers because it's a lot confusing um and then the test finishes on one
of the days and the bbl starts and i was like oh what's on now and torbs goes oh the big bash
leg's starting yeah and i was like oh okay and i'd never watched it before you don't like it It's an atrocity. Why is that? It's too showy.
It's too flashy.
Yep.
Traditional cricket.
It's too bright.
I'm not into it at all.
And I was watching and I was like, this is just embarrassing.
And I was like, how dare they?
Ruin the institution.
Thank you.
Exactly.
Took the words right out of my mouth.
Sorry.
We're finishing Intellisense.
That's in this year.
That is in this year.
Are you auditioning for a gig on Dylan Friends or like a sports podcast?
I'm doing sports now.
Yeah.
I just couldn't believe it.
That's out for me.
The institution of cricket, as you so finely put, they go for drinks,
but BBL, they're probably going light a sparkler or something crazy.
I just hated it.
I love this.
In for me, Tony's sports chat.
Yeah, I'm going to sports chat.
I actually love it.
I love it.
Don't get me started on Tom playing golf.
That's in for 2023. Well, know, that's in for 2023.
Well, he thought that was in for 2022.
Yeah, but we're in again.
Oh, really?
We're in again, yeah.
So they're my outs.
Wow.
I love this.
Both made me sound like an old person.
Yeah, because all the young, like, I would say the BBL is like a gateway
to Test cricket, but the fact that you have come the other way.
Yeah, I just think.
It's getting me in the feels.
Scotty Boland.
The thing, Steve, I think you'll find this, isn't it?
Oh, I think you'll find it.
The thing is, is that it's like, unfortunately,
is quite exciting to watch because they just hit like crazy balls
the whole time because obviously Test cricket, they're like trying to.
It's a test, it's a grind. Yeah, exactly., they're like trying to. It's a test.
It's a grind.
Exactly.
And they're, you know, like conserving energy.
But then you watch that and it's like pretty exciting because they like get
really fucking high scores and stuff.
Like it's pretty cool.
Anyway, but it's too showy for me.
It's out.
BBL's out.
All right.
Out for me.
And you've heard me say this probably 50 times.
And I'm glad we've got a platform for me to say this.
Yeah.
Out in 2023 is listing brand names instead of writing fucking lyrics.
Oh.
Yeah, I have heard you say this.
You actually complained to me about this in the airport.
Unholy by Sam Smith.
That girl comes on and does the verse.
Such a great song, though.
Great song.
I actually love that song.
Kim Petras, I think it is.
She just comes in and just says brand names.
Like that's not a song.
You're just saying things.
It is a song, yeah.
Meghan Trainor's new song.
I could have my Gucci on.
I just think it's a weird like rich flex.
Like are you trying to flex to me that you've got designer clothes?
I just don't understand that.
Well, I would have assumed that Meghan Trainor's, like, doing all right.
Yeah.
You don't need a good on you, but, like, you don't need proof.
Who is it?
Are you trying to?
Why are you trying to prove here?
You'll be able to enjoy Meghan Trainor on free-to-air TV this year
and Australian Idol as well.
You've got your Gucci on, mate.
Put some Dunlop volleys on.
You're great anyway.
Oh, don't wear volleys.
They're very bad for your feet, I think.
Better than Gucci?
I imagine those weird Gucci shoes wouldn't be great for your, you know.
Your plantar fasciitis.
I think I've got plantar fasciitis.
That's in for this year for me, unfortunately.
I think the ins and outs is like what you want, not what like, oh, I'm stuck with.
Oh.
Yeah.
No, I agree with that there's a lot and it started as like a rap thing yeah which is sort of a different context even though it shouldn't be was it you that was
saying to me the other day i can't even remember if this was on the pod that it was like when
like celebs that you like like um instagram influencers or actors or whatever when they
kind of get rich and start flexing everyone everyone goes, oh, they've changed.
But when a rapper starts flexing and wearing fancy shit,
everyone's like, fuck you.
Like no one's ever judged a rapper for buying a fucking diamond eyeball.
Yeah, a diamond eyeball.
But if fucking Meghan Trainor did that, it would be like, oh, my God.
The tyres on my car with gold.
Yeah.
And you can't even drive the thing.
They're gold spinner rims.
Like, they're just going around.
You're right.
Rappers, get it?
Everyone else, fucking sit down.
How embarrassing.
Sit the fuck down.
So I'm kind of like maybe.
But I think that's coming into the song lyrics.
It's lazy songwriting.
Okay.
If you don't want to write a song, that's actually fine.
Go hire someone who can or get a fucking new job.
Tell us how you really feel.
My second out for 2023.
And you might have to put a little reminder in your phone
because this one might not be relevant for another 363 days.
Okay.
Don't you dare.
Out in 2023 is making jokes around New Year's Eve about see you next year.
And on New Year's Day saying, oh, I haven't seen you since last year.
It's out.
It's not out.
It's fucking out.
It's not out.
And let me just pick a few people to pick out.
Jake on Twitter.
I'm having withdrawal because I haven't listened to Tony and Ryan since last year.
It's not funny.
It's actually not funny, Jake.
Sorry, do you not want people to listen to our podcast and love it and join in?
Us having jobs out.
Melissa in the Tony and Ryan Facebook group.
Hey, Ryan, why is your phone battery so low?
Have you not charged your phone since last year?
Again, do you not want people to join in and have fun?
No.
Fun is out.
Okay, Ryan's out.
I've said it here first.
But by far and away the worst, Tony Felicia Louise Lodge.
I posted this in the Facebook group.
And on Instagram.
This is about 10.30 New Year's Day.
And I'll put it out there, I wasn't in the best state.
Did you still want to do the Tony and Ryan podcast?
Just wanted to check because I haven't spoken to you since last year.
I thought I should check in.
It's out.
It's in.
It's out this year.
It's in.
It's out.
It's in.
It's fucking out.
I just think you only have to deal with it being in for like four days of the year.
Set a reminder.
I will remind everyone.
I'll do it twice then, twice as much.
I'll say twice as much.
It's in.
No, that's in.
It's out.
It's in.
It had a great run.
It's such harmless gear.
It had a great run for 2,022 years.
No.
But this year it is out.
It's good fucking gear.
2,022 years.
You mentioned back in like God time.
Jesus.
What year is it?
Three.
I haven't seen you since two.
I haven't seen my disciples since last year.
And then you know what God said?
He goes, oh, it's a bit of a shit joke.
I'll give you 2018 more years of that.
Yeah.
Good quick maths.
And then it's out.
No, God did not say that.
He did.
This is now religious.
That was his 13th commandment.
No.
Though shalleth not.
After 2022 years, make jokes on New Year's Eve.
And the fact that you shared that Aunty Donna video,
that fucked me right off.
It's out.
It's fucking out.
Aunty Donna's out.
I'll fucking die on this hill.
It's in.
Hey, it's Anne Banana from Wisconsin,
and you're listening to Tony and Ryan.
A massive shout out to a few of our champion tapas over at our Patreon.
All of the links to have a squizzo are in our show notes.
I was going to say link in bio.
I don't know why I always go to say that.
Tanika Jane, thank you, and happy birthday for yesterday.
Happy birthday, Tanika.
Good on you.
Sean McDermott, thank you so much.
Emma Welch, bloody love you.
Thank you so much.
Yeah.
One of the OJs.
Back to the top of the list.
No, we're not.
Lane Cox.
Are we not back at the top of the list? He comes, he hasn't had a shout out, which
I don't know about that.
He's out this year.
Lane's in.
Amber Siggins, thank you so much.
And Jessica Milcash, thank you
very much for being part of the Patreon. We fucking
love to see it. And
hopefully we'll get to see you
very soon.
I thought you were about to do a next year joke.
No, it's this year.
But just the way you're like, I know.
No, it's this year.
No, we've got an announcement.
This hot fun garbage of a podcast has now got,
and I'm not actually joking, its own hot fun garbage truck.
It's not just our sticker on a garbage truck.
We have our own hot fun garbage truck. It have our, it's not just our sticker on a garbage truck, we have our own Hot Fun Garbage Truck.
It's yellow.
It's yellow.
It's got our faces on it.
It's huge.
And you can come and see it and us on the 21st of January
at St Kilda Beach in Melbourne from about 10am.
It'll be morning before, you know, it gets a bit hotter in the afternoon.
Before it gets too hot.
Yeah, but come down and say hi.
And, Tony, what are we actually doing with this truck?
So it sounds like a bit of a gimmick that we just have this huge truck.
Is it not a gimmick?
I mean, it's gimmicky.
Gimmicks are in.
I'm calling it now.
But we're actually performing a public service.
So we decided and realised that everybody has, you know,
that random piece of clothing of your partners that you hate or those bags of stuff
that you've been meaning to drop off at the Salvos
for like four fucking years.
They're rolling around in the boot and every time you do the food shopping,
you go, I've got to get rid of those.
The car's full.
You can bring your unwanted things down to us at the garbage truck
and we will give it a second life for you.
Second life.
So the public service is obviously that you don't have to drive around
and find one of those bins.
And you don't have to lie to yourself and go, no, no, no, this weekend.
I'll take those this weekend.
I will get rid of that stuff.
After I go to the gym, you know.
Classic Kat.
That is good gear.
Thank you.
That is good gear.
So you can come down and see us.
You can kind of wish goodbye, say thank you to all of the stuff
that you've got in your car.
We'll take it off your hands.
We'll give it a second life.
You know, it's being sustainably looked after and passed on
to our mates at the Salvos.
Very exciting stuff.
Very exciting and no more excuses.
No more excuses.
Don't on January 2022.
Yep. January 22nd. Fucking righto. Don't on January 2022. Yep.
January 22nd.
Fucking righto.
You know what's out?
Getting the date wrong, dickhead.
Don't say, oh, I'll get around to it.
This is your chance.
This is your opportunity.
This is your chance.
Start the year with a clean boot.
Fuck, that sounds good.
That's what I'll say.
In.
In. Clean boots. sounds good. That's what I'll say. In. In.
Clean boots.
Clear boots.
In.
So January 21st, St Kilda Beach in Melbourne from 10am.
There'll be music.
There's games and stuff.
I think there's some ice cream.
There's some ice cream and drinks and some fun bits and pieces.
Come say hi.
Come get a selfie.
You know, Tony will probably give you a high five.
Yes, I will not be doing that.
Why not?
Actually, I hate high fives.
They're out for 2023.
I read it in Vogue.
That's very un-riz of you.
No, no.
Un-riz.
Oh, that was not cool.
No, it wasn't cool.
You've got another opportunity.
Okay, great, great.
I'll give you another 10.
But what a great opportunity to get rid of your clothing.
Come and say hi.
And we've never in our hometown of Melbourne had a bit of a meet-up.
We haven't really done it anywhere.
So come and say hi.
21st of January, St Kilda Beach.
But, Tony, what
will you
be donating?
Donating slash
getting the fuck out of your life.
So Torbs and I,
my partner, we've been together for
eight years, doing it for nine.
Surely it's longer than that. No, I think that's
about where we're at. Didn't you start at that
when the podcast started? No, no, no, no. I think we've been doing it for seven, doing it for eight. No, I think that's about where we're at. Didn't you start at that when the podcast started? No, no, no, no.
I think we've been doing it for seven, doing it for eight or something.
I think that in September this year.
We've been doing it for 10 years.
10 years, yeah.
It's a lot of D.
And together for nine it is.
It's a lot.
That's in.
That is in.
It was.
It has been.
And will continue to be.
Anyway, he, when we first started going out together,
had this green denim jacket.
It is as repulsive as it sounds.
And every time we do like a cupboard clear out, I go,
oh, anything you want to chuck in the pile?
Like very unsubtly.
Because you can't throw it out on behalf of someone else, can you?
No, no, no, no.
You need to let them decide.
I have to kind of like subtly jab and go.
Are you trying to incept him?
Yeah, and the thing is he never wears it.
Yeah.
Like if he wore it all the time,
I would never ever get rid of something that he went,
I love that and I wear it all the time.
Like I don't care whether it's something.
I wear ugly shit all the time.
Who cares?
I've never seen Torbs in a green denim jacket.
He never wears it.
It is like too short for him.
The sleeves are like three quarter.
It's got like a, it's just, it's atrocious.
Okay.
And he's never fucking worn it.
And since we, I, very first time I ever went through his cupboard,
I kind of went, as in was at his house one night looking for a jumper
or something and I was like, we'll have to get rid of that one.
And it's still there.
So what I'm going to do is finally take it out of the cupboard.
I'm going to tell him.
Okay.
I'm going to go, I'm off to work and he's going to go, cool, sweetie,
see you after you're done at the fun garbage tour and I'm going to go,
I'm not coming back with this.
How do you think he'll react to that?
I don't know.
I'm hoping that I'll be riz enough to get away with it.
Well, you weren't riz enough to get away with that?
We're forcing it. We're so old.
But we're trying. You're 30 this year.
Thank you. I'm really excited
about it. So,
that's what I'm going to bring.
I'm going to...
What's the... Sacrifice.
Something of Torb's.
Can I ask a question that's not just of you,
but of your soul
and your aura and your being?
Question, yes.
How will it feel to have that green jacket out of your wardrobe
and out of your life?
I just can't even explain how good it will feel to know
that it can't ever accidentally be worn.
Not that you're wearing it anyway but the threat of it being worn.
The threat.
That's exactly right.
So imagine if he walks out one day, he goes, cool, sweetie,
ready to go out for dinner?
And I go, I think I've got COVID, you know?
Unfortunately, I've fallen ill and we can't go.
I tell you what could be really bad, and I've almost done this myself
because I've got like a green over shirt,
is because I know Torbs, like myself, has a green pair of like chinos.
I feel like a –
He does.
They're dickies.
Yeah.
I was going to say the dickies.
Yeah.
If he's wearing the chinos and goes, oh, I better chuck a jacket on,
and then you get outside and you realise that you're double greening
and you're like, excuse me, do you work in the nature reserve?
Are you a park ranger?
Like what's happened to you, bro?
Are you doing Steve Irwin cosplay?
Do you think that most people in a relationship listening to this podcast right now,
if they thought about that one item of clothing that their partner had.
Everyone's picturing something.
Something comes to mind.
100%.
Bridget used to hate.
So you know how like, this is so embarrassing.
You were in like rock and Timberlands and was like a bit sick.
Yeah.
I like leaned right into that.
Oh, I can imagine.
And I thought I was a bit more hip hop than I am.
And as you know, I am not hip hop.
No.
Were you teaming that with like a baggy jean?
Yeah.
A baggy jean, a Timberland.
And this is coming because my mates actually wore work boots to go to work.
Yeah, right.
But you were wearing them on a Friday night.
Yeah, then I rolled into their place on the weekend and they're like,
excuse me, mate, don't you work in podcast?
Yeah, they're like, did you do a shift at a factory?
Didn't do a hard day's work, did you, right?
I get a bit of that.
Didn't do a hard day's work, did you, right?
I get a bit of that.
And so after a few years, Bridget was – and, like,
I'd worn through the bottom, gone through a whole – and Bridget was just aching to fuck these boots off.
Oh, yep.
And I reckon if she got a whiff of a Hot Fun Garbage truck,
they would be in there in a heartbeat.
Yeah.
Well, in today's episode thread in our Facebook group, let us know.
If something instantly has come to mind that's going in my boot
and I'm bringing it down to you guys, fucking let us know.
And I would also recommend you bringing your bag of stuff down
because just last month I told you that I got into not an all-in brawl
with Anna Wintour.
But it wasn't good.
There was a heated exchange between me and an old lady about me trying
to dispose of a bag of
Well
What I would say is good clothes
But no longer being worn clothes
Yes
And there was a bit of a dispute about the wording on the sign
Yep
And the wording
And the placement and the time of day
So I would say avoid that
Yep
And just bring it down to us
We'll take care of it for you.
St Kilda Beach, January 21. Woo!
Alright. Hot fun garbage. And also
just get a picture with the truck.
We're on it. It looks sick. Yeah.
It is, oh, I can't wait for
people to see it. It's fucking good.
I've got to love to see it. Please. And can I just say
as our first episode of the year,
2023, the future is here.
Free to air TV. Free. The future is here. Free day of TV.
Shubbing in store.
Yes.
The actual future is here.
Okay.
Let me read this headline.
Okay.
Google can now decode your doctor's prescriptions.
So maybe you're too young, Tony,
or you go to like new school doctors that print prescriptions.
Yeah.
So back in my day, and there's still a few old school,
like if you've got an older doctor, they won't print it,
they'll write it.
Oh, and doctors like notoriously have terrible handwriting.
Yes, yeah, yeah.
So Google's like made this algorithm thing that'll like scan it and go,
oh, it's an aspirin.
Okay, so the thing about that is, oh, it's an aspirin.
Okay.
So the thing about that is, is that it's exactly like what I said about shopping in store because most doctors now obviously just print it.
Well, maybe I'm going to old doctors.
But so now doctors are going, oh, instead of printing that, I'll just write it down.
Why don't we do that?
But then they go, well, that's what we used to do that and then it didn't work and that's
why we started printing it.
No, they started printing it because their handwriting was fucked.
Yeah.
But I'm talking about the old school guys that are still writing it down.
I didn't even know that legally they could.
What are they writing it on a post-it and handing it to you?
No, it's like got their letterhead or whatever.
Yeah, right.
And they're just like.
I don't think I've ever been given that.
Really?
I mean, maybe when I was a kid, maybe my mum had it or whatever.
But I'm pretty sure that like every doctor I've ever had since being on the pill,
which would have been the first prescription I was ever given,
was printed.
Hang on.
Let me just in real time think this out.
Yeah.
They've created a solution for a problem that was solved about 10 years ago.
Is that what I'm hearing?
That's what I'm saying.
The future is not here.
I don't think so. And actually 10 years ago. Is that what I'm hearing? That's what I'm saying. The future is not here. I don't think so.
And actually, 10 years, I'm almost 30,
and probably the first time I was on the pill,
I was, what, like 16, 17?
No, but I'm saying that's over 15 years ago at least.
All right, the future is not here.
No, the future's back there.
That's what I'm saying.
We're like, it's cyclical.
Everything's cyclical.
We're going back in time.
Rethink that.
Come back to me tomorrow with a better You Love To See It.
All right, my You Love To See It.
Can I give you a better one now?
No.
No, you get one chance.
One opportunity.
No, it was good.
It's just cool that they're coming up with shit, isn't it?
People are so clever.
Yeah, nah.
No, I'm off it now.
Okay, but see, my
Shit you love to see, it's in.
My love to see it is also like
a goof on technology
not being utilised properly.
Someone posted in my local
like Richmond 3-1-2-1
like community group. Yeah.
Good morning 3-1-2-1. This was on
New Year's morning.
I've just awoken upside down in my bed with a massive hangover
and was wondering if anyone would delight in bringing coffee,
caramel slice and a HSP to my aching soul.
Right?
Which is quite like a wholesome.
It's wholesome.
It's funny.
Get Uber Eats.
There's an app for this.
Do you know what I'm saying?
Like back in the day, 100% like you would have to go like,
please will someone bring me a bacon and egg McMuffin?
But now.
There's an app for that, babe.
Yeah.
And so I saw it.
The first message you say.
So I saw it and thought, that's cute.
That's your love to see it.
Then I saw the post again and every comment was like, hey,
pretty sure Uber Eats works in our area.
I was like, oh, Google Maps as well.
Can anyone let me know where I am?
Oh, here I am.
And it would take way more effort to type that out.
To type that out rather than add to cart, add to cart, add to cart,
hit priority, see you in a minute.
Yeah.
30.
30 minutes.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
So you know what I mean?
I feel like we've really hit our stride here with old technology coming back to haunt us.
I feel like we need a lift with How You Love To See It.
Okay.
I would say two interesting stories not in the right place.
Okay.
All right.
Yeah, fair enough.
You know, we'll try again tomorrow.
I love to...
Yeah.
Yeah, I mean, she's a dickhead.
I love to see her being called out.
Pretty fun.
Calling people out's in.
Bit of fun.
That's in. Yeah. Surely. You know, she's a dickhead. I love to see her being called out. Pretty fun. Calling people out's in. Bit of fun. That's in, surely.
You know, we'll try again tomorrow.
Tomorrow, though, we are talking about things you can say at New Year's
and also in the bedroom.
Bit of fun.
I've asked Tony how her New Year's Day was.
Christmas Day.
Christmas Day was about 27 times because you were planning on going
to the beach with Pippa in the morning for a cute little Christmas family moment.
Yep.
And say no more.
And you said to me 27 times, I'll tell you on the pod.
Stop fucking asking.
Stop asking me about it.
And I'm nervous for you.
I'm excited for me and the rest of the Tarpers.
Yep.
So tomorrow on the show.
I'm hoping it's still relevant.
It happened last year. For me and the rest of the tapas. Yeah. So tomorrow on the show. I'm hoping it's still relevant.
In a.
It happened last year.
See you tomorrow.
I hate this.
I hate this.
I'm out.
Love you, bye.
Out in 2023 is Ryan on the show.