Toni and Ryan - Is Ryan coming on too strong?
Episode Date: June 5, 2022Ryan's worried he's come across badly and misread a professional relationship, which is exactly what happened to us last week. Love ya! Toni xxx Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and m...ake sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hello?
Hello, is that Chloe?
It is.
Chloe, it's Ryan here, and I just wanted to ask you,
you thought that Tony Lodge was the best person in the world
until she said something in particular that put you off her for life.
Now, Tony's here now.
Hi.
What did I do?
You, like,
when, like, I started listening,
I was like, oh my god, she's my soul sister.
We love everything.
And then you said fuckbook for nine nine.
Oh, um,
okay, well then see ya.
Don't worry about approving the fucking podcast.
I don't appreciate that.
And also, you obviously like shit TV,
so your podcast tastes obviously terrible as well.
She's listening to our podcast.
I stand by it.
We can't have someone approving this if they'd also approve Brooklyn Nine-Nine.
I choose Chloe over Tony any day of the week.
All right, well, enjoy Chloe and Ryan.
See you later.
Chloe, will you approve, I guess,
the Ryan half of the Tony and Ryan episode today?
I would love to approve the Chloe and Ryan podcast.
It's a pleasure to have you.
I won't be downloading that.
Hi, it's Chloe from Darwin and I approve the podcast.
Welcome.
And a word of warning.
Oh, what?
For today's episode.
Yeah.
Tony.
Yeah.
How many bottles of wine did you drink at dinner last night?
Um, what?
Yeah.
Yep.
Um, well, it was shit. Like, it wasn't just me yeah i had them tony had some
i had some tony had some now i will admit i am wearing a tracksuit pant today you are a very
casual athleisure at the moment you're only wearing a T-shirt, but you're wearing like a Nike jacket as well.
So you've really dulled.
Yeah, but you said you considered wearing a slipper.
Yeah.
And you didn't, and I'm so sad about that.
Well, so what I did was I got ready and then I was like, I need to go back into the bathroom and like put my hair up and stuff.
And so I just slipped my slippers back on so I didn't have to walk on the cold tiles but I didn't, like, need to put my sneakers on yet.
And you're like, I could just live like this all day.
And I was standing at the door with my slippers on and my outfit
and I'm like, am I doing this?
And I was like, no, I'm just going to put my runners on.
So I did.
Is it because you're a professional?
I mean, still pretty casual.
Or because you were nervous?
Because I feel like live your best life.
What's the point of having a podcast if you can't wear slippers to work?
You know what I'm saying?
Is that what people say that?
Yeah.
You know the old saying, why start a podcast if you can't wear slippers?
That's what they've always said.
I've always said that.
You've stolen that from me, but I have always said that.
Well, you've stolen that from Shakespeare because that's as old as time.
Beauty and the Beast, as old as time.
Here's a question for everyone listening and you, Toni.
And me?
Yeah, cool.
How long when you meet someone do you give them
before you start showing your true colours?
And I feel like anyone who listens to this podcast will understand,
like, Toni and I and probably you listening have a bit of a dark sense of humor or maybe an
adult sense of humor.
Is that a nice way?
A bit naughty.
A bit naughty.
Yep.
Yeah.
And even in a professional setting,
when you're in a meeting and you go,
Oh,
you know,
how long do you drop a swear word?
Yeah.
Or like say something.
So do you have like a,
maybe not a rule,
but do you just try and read the room?
What's your kind of vibe?
I read the room, I think.
I know that I'm a zero to 100 person.
So if I'm meeting someone socially, like I want them
to feel included straight away.
So, you know, if it was me and a few mates and somebody,
an outsider, came in or whatever, then I'd try
and make them feel comfy straight away.
But also like, you know how you kind of can be a different Ryan?
How so?
Like if you.
Like professional Ryan?
Yeah.
I'm at uni going to class, Ryan.
So at my job, so the job that I've just quit.
You'd be a totally different person.
Yeah.
Professional Tony.
I'm still me.
No slippers.
Yeah, I'm wearing shoes. Yeah. But I'm a professional person, yeah. Well, I'm not. Professional Tony. I'm still me. No slippers. But I'm obviously, yeah, I'm wearing shoes.
Yeah.
But I'm still me.
Like, it's still Tony, but it's not like I would never,
ever be rude or make anyone feel uncomfortable.
And my boss, recently we were, like, interviewing for my job
because I've only just quit.
Yeah.
And she was like, oh, just make sure that you know.
And I was like, how dare you?
She knew. No, she knew. I would never, though. I know Tony, so, just make sure that you know. And I was like, how dare you?
She knew.
No, she knew.
I would never though.
I know Tony, so I'm just going to be like.
No, I would never do that.
You wouldn't.
But we know the real Tony.
Yes.
So like I can see why she would have thought I hope she brings a professional game, but I also know that you would bring
your professional game.
Yeah, I would never, ever.
Can you imagine logging onto a Zoom job interview?
A meeting with you? Be like, oh, good. Hey, mate. How you fucking going? Yeah, I've got, ever. Can you imagine logging onto a Zoom job interview? A meeting view.
Oh, good.
Hey, mate.
How you fucking going?
Yeah, I've got a podcast.
It's good.
I don't wear shoes when I do it.
But I think everyone's got to have that thing.
But generally speaking, zero to 100 pretty quick.
So we won't mention the organisation or the type of business yesterday.
The setting.
The setting.
No.
But is it fair to say you and I yesterday were in what you would have assumed
a very professional environment?
Yep.
Quiet.
It was very quiet.
A quiet office.
There were other business professionals doing business professional things
nearby in earshot.
And other consumers, other clients, other customers.
Other clients, yeah.
Because we have a business now.
We do.
Congratulations to us.
I know.
Do you think, we were very well behaved.
Well, we walked in there, we sat down, waited for our turn.
We were chatting amongst ourselves.
But the person who was the professional who we were there to meet.
The person who was the professional.
He got a vibe from us that these guys were a bit of fun
and happy for a joke.
Yep.
And then he made a few jokes.
We laughed.
And then he went.
To Neptune on his planet of jokes.
I was literally just about to say another planet.
Yep.
Because how much do we want to divulge?
Well.
What about the.
No? We're not going to divulge? Well. What about the. No?
We're not going to mention that?
Okay.
Well.
Just beep that out.
What should have taken, in his words, 10 minutes,
took about an hour 40 because we were quote unquote having fun.
When he said this normally takes 10 minutes,
but I'm just having such a fun time, that's when Tony and I fucking turned.
Yeah, and we were, he was so lovely and he helped us out.
He was also extremely inappropriate.
Yeah, it was very inappropriate.
But I just felt bad because there were other clients in the building,
there were other professionals and we were both like, oh.
But also, and this is not me having like tickets on myself, but, you know,
it is believable because you got recognised at the bagel shop
the other day.
You got papped by a tarpa.
Yeah.
I assumed when we went in there and he was really friendly
and kind of like dirty straight away, I was like,
he must be a tarpa.
He must listen to the pod.
Because he was saying dirty, disgusting jokes.
Dirty fucking stuff.
Like fucked shit.
Like fucked shit that I would say to Ryan and be like, beep that out.
Yeah, really fucked shit.
He was saying fucked shit.
And we just assumed, well, he obviously knows the sense of humour.
Yeah.
And then what, an hour and a half into the business meeting, he goes,
Cole, I just need to finish this form.
How would you describe the business?
And we go, oh, it's a podcast.
He goes, oh.
Do you guys have a podcast?
What's it called?
And we were like, hang on, were you just making those fuck jokes
to any client walking into this professional business?
He just thought we were any old people.
And then right at the end of the meeting, so another half an hour later,
one of his colleagues said, oh, my God, I love you guys.
I watch all your Instagram reels.
And the guy who'd been helping us for six hours was like,
do you guys do videos?
Like he had no fucking idea who we were.
The disgracefulness of the jokes he was telling.
I was like, you must listen to our show.
You get it.
You must do.
But he's just fucking any old Tom, Dick or Harry that walks in there,
he's laying it on that thick.
I feel.
When he told that story about.
We'll beep that bit out as well.
Yeah, beep that out.
Yeah, and then when he.
Okay.
Something happened to me in the office.
Two new professionals I was working with.
And I want you to tell me if I've, like,
overstepped the line of, like, new professional acquaintances.
Oh, no.
I think if you have to ask.
Well, because do you remember when we went and had, oh,
it was the Age photo shoot, the article that just came out,
and instantly as soon as we walked in there I was like,
oh, can you see my gunt?
Oh, yeah.
You said that straight away.
Yeah, straight away.
In front of a bunch of strangers.
It was by heaps of people.
All these people, like, doing our make-up, fixing my hair.
How would you describe the reaction?
It was a bit like, you know when you do a double take,
like you hear what someone says and then it registers and you go,
oh!
What?
It was a bit like that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And the lovely Simon Schluter who was taking the photo,
he had a bit of a giggle but, I mean, he did cover up my gunt
in the photos, which is lovely.
Lovely.
Let me take you to explain what happened here behind the showbiz curtain.
Wow.
So a lot of.
A real insight.
A lot of big name famous people will often do demos and tests
for big media companies to see what they're like.
Oh, yeah, see if they've got good bones.
Yeah, or just to see where you're at your best.
For example, there's probably in the back cupboard at NBC a demo
of Amy Schumer hosting a quiz show just to see what it looks like,
see what she's good at.
I'd like to do that.
There's probably a video of a Kardashian hosting a Tonight Show
because someone.
Well, Kim Kardashian did do SNL.
No, but like a Tonight Show where you're like hosting like.
Oh, like Dave Lemondon.
Yeah, Lemondon.
And so what happens is the networks,
when there's people who are like celebrities,
they go, let's put them in a bunch of different environments,
see what works best for them.
See, maybe we need a change
in a few years and we know what they'd be like.
Okay, can I ask a question?
Yeah.
What would your, okay, sorry, this is off topic,
but say you're in that position, they go,
what demo do you want to make?
What demo do you want to make?
Like what would your ultimate be in that situation?
I'm not saying this because it sounds fucking cheesy,
but what I would want to do is you and I are doing it right now.
Oh, mine's SNL. Yeah. Yeah. What I would want to do is you and I are doing it right now. Oh, mine's SNL.
Yeah.
Oh, I see.
I don't have to wear my shoes there either, so that's good.
So anyway, I won't reveal the name.
Please don't.
But I was asked to like kind of chaperone,
be the third wheel of these two celebrities who want to do like a radio show
or a podcast.
I'm like, Ryan, can you be the middle man, do the ins and outs,
help them out?
Yeah.
And so it'll be the three of you, but like let those two shine
because we want to see what they're like.
But we want to kind of keep it rolling along so you can push them
around a bit.
Yeah.
So, and again, don't want to out them.
Yeah.
But is it fair to say within Australia, two pretty well-known names?
Definitely.
They've been on like I'm a celebrity, get me out of here.
Celebrity MasterChef.
Yeah.
I'm a celebrity, Dancing with the Stars.
Like one of those kind of, you know.
They're stars.
Yeah, within Australia, very household name.
So I said, all right, guys, send me some like YouTube videos
or podcasts or TikTok.
Just send me some stuff that you like and then if I, you know,
figure out that you're into like pranks and stuff,
we can do some pranky stuff.
Or if I find out you like some big stories or if I get a vibe
of what you like.
Then you know what you can do.
Yeah.
So there's a group chat going, right?
Between the three of you?
Yeah.
On text?
In the DMs, the three of you? Yeah. And so... On text? In the DMs.
The three of us. So that first piece of paper is what I said, send some
fun stuff through. Yep. And just say
can you just read what's there?
Speed golf.
The funniest challenge we've ever done.
We haven't even recorded a demo and I
already want all three of us to play this game.
So it's this fun YouTube video where
they're like drinking and running and playing golf and it's a really funny YouTube video. So it's this fun YouTube video where they're, like, drinking and running and playing golf,
and it's a really funny YouTube video.
But it's literally, like, the beginning of the chat.
Yeah.
This is the, like, that's the top of the chat.
Yeah.
And so.
What the fuck?
So I've spoken to these people on the phone once,
and I get that, and I go, oh, I'll send something funny
if we're sending YouTube challenges to one another.
Oh, Ryan.
I'll send one back as a lol and have a look at my reply.
If we want a real challenge, real dick versus dildo challenge.
What's the photo, the cover photo?
Um, a guy facing the other way laughing.
And I'm guessing the chap standing behind him is either going to put a dildo
or his dick in his bum and then he has to figure out which one's which.
Hey, if you're into YouTube challenges, maybe we could try this.
How did the two Australian celebrities take that?
Okay.
If they just didn't report.
Because that's you coming on like thick and fast.
Real thick.
Don't say real thick. Don't say real thick.
Don't say thick.
Don't say real thick.
That's zero to 100 stuff.
Have I misread?
That's Tony Lodge saying times a million.
Is that me being the professional yesterday?
Right.
So.
These are celebrities.
You're representing the company to be like, yeah,
I'll organise this demo.
I'm a professional.
And you said, oh, maybe we can put each other's dicks in our arses
or have we?
Would you not have said that?
Probably not at the beginning of the chat, no.
So there were no more messages in the chat and when they came
in to do the demo, it just was not referenced.
And we did the demo and it went well.
They didn't say anything?
You're joking.
No.
Have they seen it?
Maybe they haven't seen it.
Are you on read?
I'm on read.
By both of them?
Yep.
Oh, my God.
So now every time I see those celebrities, and again,
without trying to out them, they're people who you can't help
but not see because they're on posters and billboards
and every time I see one of them for the rest of my life.
Are you?
Okay.
What was the title of it again?
Real Dick vs Dildo Challenge.
In this situation, I obviously, I don't like tension. No. And I don't like
feeling like maybe I've overstepped or said the wrong thing, which is hard to believe. I
understand. It is hard to believe. Do you know what I would have done by now? What? I would
have messaged the group chat again, being like, guys, yesterday was so much fun. I hope it was good.
Just to make sure that that's not the last thing
in that chat just in case.
I can't leave it there.
I don't think so.
What if they didn't really overly see it and I just don't want
to remind them that there's a group chat going?
Do I just let that group chat fall to the bottom of the pile
and never be seen again?
What if they didn't really see it but they think it's really funny
and then they're like, we want Ryan to be in our show?
Well, bad luck.
I've got a co-host, mate.
That is exactly what I wanted you to say.
Hi, it's Chloe from Darwin and you're listening to Tony and Ryan.
As women, our life stages come with unique risk factors,
like when our estrogen levels drop during menopause,
causing the risk of heart disease to go up.
Know your risks.
Visit heartandstroke.ca.
Just before we thank the champion tapas, all 27,000 of them,
can I just say that I told them that I'm just helping out with the demo.
I've got my dream co-host and I don't want anyone else.
And are you leaving me for them? Yeah, and we start next week.
And the name of the show will be called Real Dick
or 6 to 9 Weekdays.
Did you actually say that?
That's true.
Because I got asked, do you remember not long after we started doing this,
I got asked to do a demo with someone and I said,
no, I found my dream co-host as well.
That's pretty sweet.
I know.
And in a year's time we'll watch this moment back and go, fuck, if only we knew then how much we'd fucking hate each other.
I know.
And we're like taking each other to the cleaners and going,
why do we start a fucking business?
Yeah.
We'll have to go back to that professional and try and get out of it.
A big thank you to a few of our champion tapas that are sending us money
that we're going to have to split up when we get to Wall Street in a year.
Charlie Morehouse, thank you so much.
Grace Drinkwater, she fucking will be out of a Frank Green water bottle.
Oh, you.
Bella Carrigan, Bree Cheese, Gia, Beck Mills, Jordan Savage,
Olivia Kuzna, your mate Kate, and Katrina Smith.
Your mate Kate?
Yep, your mate Kate.
Okay.
Probably not a Christian name.
How do we feel about people giving themselves names in Patreon?
They're just.
I'm all about it.
I am anti giving yourself a nickname.
So you don't like Big Gay Al?
You don't like the little woot?
You don't like my concept?
But like ScoMo, our ex-PM.
Woo!
See ya.
He gave himself the nickname of ScoMo.
To make him be like a relatable Aussie.
Lads, mates, teenagers, woo!
And I just, can you imagine if we met and you were like,
oh, Tony is it?
And I was like, oh, yeah, I actually go by T-Dog or something.
Like.
I actually go by.
Yeah, that's fucking lame.
Or if I was like, oh, yeah, I think I'm going to try it on
and start going by Tolo or something.
So because my name, Ryan John Dunn, I was Dunny for 20 years of my life.
Yeah.
But I, even though that's what people knew me as,
I would never introduce myself as Dunny because it just felt so strange
coming out of my mouth.
Yeah.
And so like my partner, Torbs, goes by Torbs because at the first radio show
that I worked at there was another Alex.
Alex, yeah.
So he was Torbs and now it's awkward because I'm like,
oh, if you listen to the podcast, you're not.
What do you call him?
I call him Alex.
I would never, ever call him Torbs.
To his face?
No.
And I'm pretty sure that if I called him Torbs he would be like,
what the fuck are you saying?
Yeah, right. Yeah. Like I would pretty sure that if I called him Torbs, he would be like, what the fuck are you saying? Yeah, right.
Yeah.
Like I would never, I'd never call him Torbs.
Unless if we were out or something and I was with like you,
I'd be like, oh, Torbs, like what's this blah, blah, blah.
They're just at home.
Yeah, like I would never, ever call him that.
Whisper I love you Torbs to him.
Or I think he'd push me off him.
I think if I said.
I didn't say what position you were in.
You assumed I was in front.
You turn around and tell me to fuck off.
But so I'm not a fan of the self-imposed nickname.
I think it's a bit like a bit close.
But I mean, Kate, good on you, mate, Kate.
Good on you, Big Gay Al, Little Woot, Big Woot.
Well, to be fair, we gave them their nicknames.
Can I also add?
Yes, please.
Did you in your final year of school have like the year 12 hoodie?
Leavers jumper.
Yeah.
And did you have your nickname on it?
Mine just said Tony.
Yeah, so our school had your name on it and you chose what you put on it.
Yeah, I literally asked for them to put Tony on it because I didn't have a nickname.
So I think I didn't even put Dunny.
I just had Dun.
Oh.
Why didn't you just get Ryan? Yeah, I probably't have a nickname. So I think I didn't even put Dunny. I just had Dun. Oh. Why didn't you just get Ryan?
Yeah, I probably should have.
Anyway, this one guy said, oh, like he got the word rock star
and he just doubled it.
And, like, his brother played AFL and he thought he was going
to be this hot shot footballer.
And he was a fuckhead and he was no good at football.
So he got rock star put on his website.
And he was always like, just call me rock star.
And everyone's like, nah.
And you're like not, like, if anyone was called rock star, it would not be always like, just call me rock star. And everyone's like, nah. And you're like not, like if anyone was called rock star,
it would not be you.
You are not a rock star.
Especially rock star in particular.
I think that you can't, you've got to be a certain type of person.
And he was not that type.
And also I feel like.
Just call me rock star.
If I called someone rock star, it would be in a condescending way.
Oh, g'day, Rockstar.
Every local football team in Australia has a bloke that's got, like,
tipped hair, like bleach tips.
Oh, my God.
I love blonde.
Did you ever have blonde tips?
I bleached my hair blonde, and so as it grows out.
Oh, did you get tips?
No, it's just grown out.
It's just halfway through the other side.
He's called that person in every single club. He's called Hollywood because of the blonde tips. Oh, it's just grown out. It's just halfway through the other side. That he's called that person in every single club is called Hollywood
because of the blonde tips.
Oh, look out, Hollywood.
Oh, I like that.
Like I said, it's a bit condescending.
It's like, oh, look out, Hollywood's in town.
Pretty boy.
I like that.
I've never been to Hollywood, so I don't really get it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
When you go there, then come back and let me know what you think
of the reference.
And then I'll laugh at the joke.
Yeah, great. It's I'll laugh at the joke.
Yeah, great.
It's just not relatable to me yet.
That's all.
A bit of feedback from last week.
A lot of feedback on the one-bedroom households.
Yeah.
Tony pre-finance team lived with Torbs and they just had one bathroom.
Sorry, disclaimer, we do still live together.
We haven't broken up.
What did I say?
You just said pre-finance team, Tony lived with Torbs. do still live together. We haven't broken up. What did I say? You just said pre-finance team, Tony lived with Torbs.
We still live together. Tony, like before her financing, before she was rich,
they lived like their old house together before they moved
into the new fancy one with the big courtyard
and the multiple bathrooms.
I just didn't want anyone to think that was right.
You know, now that I reflect.
That you had some spicy dumplings and then what happened?
We only had one toilet.
Both needed to use it at the same time.
I took one for the team, went to the shower.
That's called the waffle stomp.
Have you had it?
Yes.
I didn't have to stomp it.
A lot of chilli.
Yep.
Just wash it down like a dog's vomit.
Serial orgiast George Wendell has commented.
He lives in a one-bedroom place as well and has a roommate.
Can you imagine that poor fucking roommate?
They're never getting any sleep.
Has he heard some things?
Yeah, fuck.
Getting him some earmuffs.
The only muffs going into that house, by the way.
That's very funny from you.
Just quietly.
I appreciate that.
George said he and his roommate start work
at about the same time in the morning
so they both get up at the same time
because if your days are staggered
one bathroom doesn't matter
George says the amount of times
he's peed in a cup
because he just gets up in the morning
his roommate's in the shower, the toilet's in there
and as soon as you wake up you're like
just pisses in a cup, throws the cup out the back George Wendell His roommate's in the shower. The toilet's in there. And, you know, as soon as you wake up, you're like. Need to go. Yeah.
Just pisses in a cup.
Throws the cup out the back.
George Wendell.
Even for George Wendell, that's.
But is it for George Wendell?
Okay.
Probably not.
I mean, think of all the things he's put his dick in.
Yeah.
A cup is like.
One George Wendell, one cup.
Like two girls find a cup. Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I haven't been to Hollywood, so I don't know about movies.
Elizabeth Burley, a no relation of Elizabeth Hurley,
says one toilet...
That's very funny.
I live in a one-toilet house and there's five of us living here.
Get fucked.
I cannot stress enough having teenagers and only one toilet
and the toilet's in the bathroom.
That's not like a separate water closet.
So if the teenage girl is like doing her hair or just doing whatever teenage girls do in the fucking bathroom,
like no one else can use the bathroom.
I've given birth.
Obviously, because of teenage daughters.
So holding on to pee.
God, parents, they fucking let you know, don't they?
I've given birth!
Do yours let you know? Too soon? They don fucking let you know, don't they? I've given birth! Do yours let you know?
Do you see?
They don't let you know.
I've given birth and cannot hold on to pee like everyone else.
Oh, so mum's standing outside doing the wee dance,
waiting for the fucking teenage son to destroy the bathroom
or the teenage daughter to pluck her eyebrows or whatever.
And not that it was a contest, but John Galloway,
who I'm loving in the group, by the way,
the Tony and Ryan Facebook group.
That's where all these comments come from.
So if you want to join the Facebook group, come over.
I'm loving John in the group.
He goes, I've got five toilets in my house.
Five toilets?
Yeah.
Sorry, what is he, a fucking bajillionaire?
He must be.
Five toilets?
Yeah.
And someone else said that there's just two of them in the house
and they're designing their own place and she said,
we're putting four toilets in and I'm like, I'm all about that.
You have to.
You have to.
I think.
And there needs to be at least one that's not in an en suite
or a bathroom.
Yeah, like a full separate one.
You know there's a spare one at all times ready to go.
Yeah, no, I'm all about that.
As someone who is peeing more than he's not,
I'm all about having places to pee.
Yeah.
You do pee a lot.
I do.
Yeah.
I do.
Last week we were talking about the fact that you are sacrificing
a Lorde concert because Franco is getting married on the same day.
Yeah, my friend Franco, who also happens to cut all of our videos
for the podcast, worked with him for a long time.
He is getting married to a wonderful girl, Jess,
who I'm also quite close with, and it's the same night as Lorde.
And you had to choose, and what did you choose?
Going to the wedding.
So Lauren Campbell, she says, Tony, I feel your pain.
I live in Auckland and I just love my old school music.
She loved her music as a teenager and she just loves that nostalgia.
Yep.
The Backstreet Boys and My Chemical Romance rescheduled
so they're now performing on the same night in Auckland.
Oh, fuck.
Do you know how they're doing these throwback tours?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So she's like, yep, going to them.
A month later I'm going to see them.
You've got to do My Chemical Romance. You have to. Really? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So she's like, yep, going to them. A month later I'm going to see them. You've got to do My Chemical Romance.
You have to.
Really?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I reckon.
You'll forego seeing the Backstreet Boys.
And when else are you going to see the Backstreet Boys?
When else are you going to see MCR?
Gerard Way isn't just going to whip a tour out ever again,
I don't reckon.
I think you've got to do MCR.
I think you have to.
There was a lot of chat and I think Lauren is going to MCR.
You have to, I reckon.
She's like, that would have been the two best nights of my year
and I don't get one of them here.
Michael Lemon.
Sour.
I've written the shittest joke here.
Nice.
Do you want me to say it?
Yep.
Michael Lemon.
No relation to Steve Lime.
I don't get it.
Yeah, there's nothing to get because it's fucking awful.
This is what he said though.
And you've done that in advance. Yeah. You haven't like done because it's fucking awful. This is what he said, though. And you've done that in advance.
Yeah.
You haven't, like, done that on the fly.
Like, I just went, ooh, sour.
Like, that was just on the fly.
You've written that down on your computer and you've printed it out
and you've laminated it.
I've laminated it.
And highlighted the joke.
Pause for laugh here.
We've got a teleprompter set up.
We're practising for SNL.
Well, one of us is.
Some of us have aspirations that reach further
than wearing slippers in a studio.
Yeah, sorry about that.
To be fair, I did do it on the fly whilst typing
and then forgot about it till now and then gone,
I can't believe I wrote that.
Fucking should have left it forgotten, mate.
That's what I always say.
But he seriously says, Michael Lemon, I'm sorry.
There's no way I would miss a Lorde concert for a wedding.
Props to Tony Lodge for being an incredible friend.
I saw Lorde in 2018 and it will forever be one of the best nights
of my life.
Now, Blake, I believe, is actually Michael's partner.
If you were my mate and came to my wedding instead of going to Lord, I would never forgive you.
So they're kind of saying Franco should be putting his foot down
and going, no, I know what Lord means to you.
You should go.
If they're a real friend, they would understand.
And if they don't, then they're probably not a real friend.
And if they're not a real friend, you don't need to go to their wedding.
Wow.
Yeah.
And actually, did you see this message on Patreon?
Someone sent a really heartfelt.
Oh, saying.
About this topic and you being a good friend.
Yeah, saying that they actually probably would have stopped listening
to the podcast if I ditched a friend's wedding to go to Lorde.
Not that one, but there's been a lot of messages.
Do you want to read it or do you want me to read it?
Oh, I can read it.
Oh, no, you read it to me.
No, you read it.
Okay.
You go.
All right.
What have you got there?
You bought tickets to Lorde?
Yeah.
In Sydney?
Where's the wedding?
In Wollongong.
Yeah.
In Sydney.
Where's the wedding?
In Wollongong.
Yeah.
You brought tickets so that you can go to Lorde twice.
You can take my tickets and then you can go in Sydney.
They're not for me, you arsehole.
Are these tickets for me?
They're a present for you.
So the wedding is. Oh, my God, they're very expensive.
Well, you said that you had the nice balcony seats.
Where are these seats?
Well, it's a different kind of amphitheater,
but it's like a seated up on the balcony that's like right in the middle,
but like up so you've got front row there.
And so the wedding is near Sydney in Wollongong on a Saturday night.
This is Lorde on the Monday night.
So stay up there for a couple of extra days.
If you need a place to stay, you let me know.
And there's four tickets.
So it's going to be yourself, Torbs, Franco,
and Franco's new wife, Jess.
And this will be their first little outing as a married couple
before they go on their honeymoon later in the week.
Are you sure that they're, when's their honeymoon?
Have you talked to Franco about this?
Yeah.
Did you actually?
He felt horrible. Did he? Yeah. Did you talk to Franco? Well, I honeymoon? Have you talked to Franco about this? Yeah. Did you actually? He felt horrible.
Did he?
Yeah.
Did you talk to Franco?
Well, I said, do you want to go with her?
Did you really?
Yeah, and there you go.
Oh, hang on.
That's from me.
What are you doing?
I'm married.
I'm married.
That's really sweet.
You're welcome.
You enjoy the show.
That's really nice.
I can't believe you bought these.
That's really sweet. Well, I didn you bought these. That's really sweet.
Well, I didn't want you to miss out.
You shouldn't have to choose.
That's really fucking sweet.
Sorry, I can't get back onto my chair.
Yeah, you're right there, mate.
Because I'm bloody.
Mate, that's fucking, that is so, that is genuinely like the sweetest thing ever.
Well, you're welcome.
You deserve it.
You enjoy the night.
And hopefully you make it back from Sydney
and you don't just stay up there and get a taste of the good life.
Well, can this be my love to see it?
Your lord to see it?
Your lord?
Okay, go on.
Am I allowed?
Yeah, but you have to present it like it's a brand new idea.
Okay, all right, all right.
So to finish every episode, we have some things we like to see.
Yeah.
Tony, what do you love to see?
Oh, I'm really, really excited because my best friend.
One good thing at a time.
Okay.
Just enjoy the time.
Yeah, my friend, my friend Ryan.
Bought me tickets to go and see Lorde with my other friend Franco
and his brand-new wife because the tickets that I had are null
and void now because his wedding's the same night.
They're also not null and void.
Someone will be using them.
Thank you.
You're using them.
Yep.
And I'm so excited I get to go and see Lorde.
That is, you'll have to see that.
You'll have to see that.
You are seeing it.
How many years have you been waiting?
Oh, my God.
Literally since Royals came out in fucking 2013.
I thought you meant like since Royals.
And I'm like, oh, they're generations, centuries.
Fucking monarchy, mate.
Since Royals.
Fucking Golden Jubilee or whatever the fuck.
Platinum.
Platinum Jubilee.
Since Royals.
Oh, shit.
You know what I love to see?
I saw this video this week.
This lady wants to change careers.
She wants to be a hair stylist and work like hair and makeup.
Is there a name for that?
Hair and makeup stylist, yeah.
Her man.
Artist maybe?
Her man, kind of long hair, but he has grown his hair out.
So she is now practicing her perms and her waves and her full 90s blow up or whatever you
i don't know the terminology but he has grown his hair out so she's getting her practice in
at night after a day job with her husband so she can get good at doing the hairstyling
don't you just fucking love to see that i actually like almost broke my heart when i
break my heart but i was like oh my god that's so sweet isn't it yeah because i'm guessing those
jobs like most things,
like the better, more practice.
Practice makes perfect, yeah.
And you can't just turn up on day one and go,
I'm a stylist now.
No.
You like the hair down.
You go, have you done this before?
No.
Is this your first time?
Yes.
My husband's got very short hair.
So he's sitting there on his iPad, like watching the news or whatever,
and she's just like going away and they do it a few times a night,
and there's all these funny photos where he's, like,
got an updo and a this and a that, and he's just like,
oh, I'm just trying to support her.
She wants to change careers.
Like, it's tough mid-career, you know, to just change.
Yeah, and if you don't have access to other people that you can test on.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So every night he just sits on the floor in front of the couch,
and she just, like, gets to biz.
And, I mean, they probably love spending that time together as well.
I mean, he didn't look like he was hating it.
Like, you kind of got to lean in, right?
Yeah, totally.
She's doing this.
I'm looking fabulous.
Every day the following day he goes to work with a new hairdo.
They're like, oh, 90s date.
What a legend.
So I really love to see that.
That's so special.
That's lovely.
Tomorrow on the show, things you can say in the dally.
And also in the boudoir.
And I didn't realise until I started writing some stuff down how meat heavy.
Oh, yeah.
I've had to kind of steer away because I thought this is going to be very obvious,
but it's a fun one.
It's a fun one.
Yeah. All right. That's tomorrow. Tony, but it's a fun one. It's a fun one. Yeah.
All right.
That's tomorrow.
Tony, you enjoy Lorde in March.
Meowch!
Bye.
Love you.
I'm going to Lorde and I'm so excited.
Love you, Lorde.