Toni and Ryan - IT'S GO TIME!
Episode Date: May 7, 2023NO TIME TO TALK (except for the next 30 minutes or so...) and it's BABY TIME!!! Send all of the baby energy and good vibes you can. Producer Cam will be taking care of you for the next couple weeks an...d will let you know when we'll be back. Fuckin' love ya! Toni xxxCheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Welcome to the podcast.
Hello.
My name is Ryan.
I'm here with Dr. Tony Lodge and we are calling Perth in Scotland.
Oh.
Who knew that was about to be in Scotland?
You get me every time.
You get me every time.
Also, if my maths is correct, it's probably also the middle of the night.
Oh, no.
So hopefully Caitlin.
Hello?
Caitlin!
Oh, my God.
Hi.
Hi!
Caitlin, we're both from Perth, just different ones.
You guys are from, like, the fun of Perth.
The fun of Perth.
I'll take that.
Is it weird for you in Scotland when you hear us talk about Perth all the time
and it's where you live but it's not there?
Like is that a weird thing to get your head around?
It is because I keep thinking like, oh, I just live there.
Oh.
How cool.
Yeah.
And then every time I'm like, actually, wait, no, I don't.
And then I miss all the cool stuff.
And like the other week when we went to Perth,
you were probably like, they're coming to Scotland.
Yeah, literally.
And I was like, no.
So what's Perth in Scotland known for?
Whiskey.
Whiskey.
Is that where Nessie is?
Where's Nessie?
That's Inverness.
Oh, okay.
I'm sorry. In Vanessa. I believe it.
Well, let's raise a
whiskey glass and
will you approve this podcast?
Oh, absolutely.
Woohoo!
Hey, it's Caitlin from Paris
in Scotland and I approve this
podcast.
All right.
I don't want to panic anyone.
I'm panicked.
I'm freaking out.
I've got some hot water and some towels.
I've got about 30 minutes.
Yeah.
And then we're going to the hospital.
We're having a baby.
It's on.
It's on.
Today's the day.
It's the last episode for a week or so.
We'll go into paternity mode.
But I just want everyone to know.
I have actual goosebumps.
Don't stress.
Don't panic.
Tony, are you panicking?
I am. Do not panic.
Cam, are you panicking?
Yes.
Calm down, Cam.
We don't need you panicking.
Are you panicking?
No, no, I'm fine.
I'm ready to go.
No one panic.
We've got 30 minutes to go and then we're going to have a baby.
This will be the last episode, the last childless episode of the Tony and Ryan show.
That's quite sweet.
No offence to Pippa or BJ.
Oh, yeah.
We already have children.
Yeah.
There's going to be just a bit of housekeeping.
Don't panic, Tony. just a bit of housekeeping. Don't panic, Tony.
Just a bit of housekeeping.
There is going to be a couple of weeks of some best of episodes
that producer Cam is going to host for us.
Yep.
We're leaving him with the microphone.
And Ryan is going to become a dad and I'm going on holiday.
I'll tell you what's been a real fucking pain in the ass, though.
I couldn't book anything.
Well, you didn't know which day.
Because I didn't know when it would be.
So I'm kind of looking at my calendar going,
oh, is that going to be a bit too tight?
Oh, is that going to be a bit too, you know,
am I cutting it fine on the other side or the front?
Are you on, is it whatif.com for those last minute specials?
Yeah, so I'm literally on Webjet.
Flights available this afternoon.
I'm calling Torb, so I'm like, quick, tell him you're sick.
Tell him you've got COVID or something
Bridget is ready to pop
so we can't be long, no one panic
no one stress
but I thought considering
we're at the end. I actually have
goosebumps, like I am so
excited
over the last 40 weeks
here's what I've learned and here's
some advice for other like partners, partners of pregnant people.
But I'd say it's more of a cautionary tale.
Okay.
Here's what not to do when your partner's pregnant.
Oh, this is good.
Well, it's not good for me.
Yeah.
Probably great for you.
Now, you have a field day, though.
Don't panic, Tony.
Anybody that had to learn a lesson and then share it isn't in the right spot, are they?
You know what I mean?
Like if someone else says, oh, I wouldn't put my hand in a piranha water, you go, well,
how'd you learn that?
You know what I mean?
If there's a bloke walking around with one arm going, I wouldn't put my arm in there,
I go-
Yeah, you go, well, I'm probably going to listen to you, bro.
Thank you.
You've seen some things.
Yeah, okay.
So you've learned these things firsthand.
Sorry to bring the hand up for the guy who lost his hand
in the piranha water RIP.
All right, rest in piranha.
Sorry!
I'm getting sidetracked.
Don't panic.
I can't.
I'm about to be a good mother.
Here's what not to do when your wife is pregnant.
Okay.
When our dog BJ and I, we go for our morning walk yeah when we do the off-road trail it ends with this big hill at the end yeah and so we
finish by walking up this big hill and it's a bit off-road and whatever and but like it's not a path
it's a bit uneven so you gotta like yeah have your wits about you yeah so then i get back to the house
and because you know how I've been
whinging about my Achilles.
Yeah.
And then I'm sort of like over.
Tighten the hips.
I'm overcompensating because of the leg.
And I get back into the house and I go, my hips are so sore.
To my 38 week pregnant wife.
How do you reckon that one went down?
Oh, are they, sweetie?
Are your hips sore?
I'm carrying our child.
Something like that.
And then you said, well, I was walking our other child.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But I made it as if, like, I was literally carrying BJ.
Yeah.
And she was like, yeah, well, I'm actually carrying.
He can walk himself.
Oh.
You're just a fat bloke with a hill.
It is hard though because when you go like, oh, my hips are sore.
And then you go, oh, but like I know yours are way sore.
That's worse too.
Yeah.
Because then you go, oh, you can't win.
I don't think.
Well, you can win and it's by shutting the fuck up.
Yeah, that's fair.
And saying, did you want another little lint ball or something?
Yeah.
A little bit of chocolate.
I've been doing little massages with the, like, tiger balm.
Well, you did the pregnancy massage on me.
How did you like it?
That was really nice.
Do you want another one now?
No, I'm okay.
Okay.
Well, I feel like we've got to.
It's a soft note.
Oh, you've got to go.
Yeah, you know, we've got to go.
I'll miss the birth of the child and go, why were you late?
And I was like, I was pregnancy massaging Tony.
She pregnant?
No.
And then someone goes, who the fuck is Tony?
And you got some girl from work.
Like, you know.
Yeah, the nurse goes, righto.
Yeah, okay.
You know your wife's in here.
And then she goes, Bridget, did you know about that?
Yeah, we're friends.
Yeah.
She goes, yeah, she was texting me the other day.
Yeah, it's always the ones closest.
Yeah.
Yeah, keep your friends close, your enemies closer.
Yeah, this is the most fucked thing I've done.
Oh, poor Bridge.
And this one isn't just
for pregnant women. This is, I'd just say
for people. Okay.
I'm actually embarrassed to say this.
Actually, I'll add another one
first because you already know about this one.
Okay.
When she was like throwing up, our dog BJ walked into the bathroom
to look at her.
Cam, don't laugh.
This is serious.
And I thought, oh, isn't it cute that BJ's like looking after Bridget?
So you were kind of like in bed.
Yeah.
And you can see straight through to like the en suite,
like through your thing. Yeah. And so it was like all dark. All you could see straight through to like the en suite, like through your thing.
And so it was like all dark.
All you could see was like the silhouette of BJ and Bridget kind of like
laying next to the toilet.
Vomiting.
Hugging the toilet bowl.
Yeah.
And I went, oh, isn't this a beautiful moment in time?
The BJ's like looking out for us.
So I took a photo.
I mean, the first problem is that you were in bed
and she was laying on the ground in the bathroom
so I should have like
because I sent it to Tony and Cam
and I was like is this not cool
or is this like a beautiful moment in time
what I should have done is add text going
oh I helped most of the time
yeah it didn't look like it
she looked like she was like dead on the ground
and BJ was like fuck sweetheart you alright
and I was in bed taking photos for instagram yeah um yeah so it is a beautiful photo thank you but i i suggested that
maybe save it until maybe she wasn't throwing up maybe wasn't so emotionally vulnerable yeah so
then i showed her a white when she was in a good mood and well rested oh like no one's in a good
moment throwing up so it's like the next morning um she'd slept in i'd referred the team here and said, what should I do with this photo?
It's beautiful, but I mean, it's pretty fucked.
And then I showed her and she was like, just help me next time.
Yeah.
See that?
I think that's the thing.
Yeah.
Sorry, I'm just an artist.
That's probably just a rule for life.
Like if I went and was throwing up, would you take a photo of me
or would you help me?
I'd try both.
Well, no. I feel? I'd try both. Well, no.
I feel like you'd try one.
What would you like me to do?
I'd probably like you to help me.
Or if I was like, can you leave me alone?
I don't want you going, oh, that's obviously a sign for me
to take a picture of you.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I always cry when I throw up.
Like actually cry or just like your eyes are watering? Yeah, because you're just like, oh, my God, I mean? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I always cry when I throw up. Like actually cry or just like your eyes are watering?
Yeah, because you're just like, oh, my God, I just threw up.
Yeah, I'm emotional and vulnerable.
Yeah.
So.
So this is, you're embarrassed to say this.
It's just so dumb and unnecessary.
So Bridget's on the floor doing some stretches.
Yep. Because what a great thing to do when you're
pregnant fair keep stretching keep mobile yeah and because she is getting quite big you saw her
yesterday she's like yeah yep yep like and i saw her yesterday and she was like the next time you
see me probably we'll have a baby and i was like nah and now it's on It's on. Nobody panic. So.
Just say it.
Rip the bandaid off.
I saw this hack on TikTok the other day.
Yeah.
Right.
That you know how it really hurts to take it.
Sorry.
I know that bridge is fucking downstairs.
You're honking the horn.
You go.
But that if you have a bandaid on.
Sorry, I just realised.
No, no, you go. That is not the time for me to tell this.
No, no, no. That if you've got a bandaid on. Sorry, I just realised that this is not the time for me to tell you straight up.
That if you've got a band-aid on, because you know when you've got a band-aid and you peel it off?
It fucking hurts.
Apparently, if you lift it up, it comes straight off and it doesn't hurt.
So you rip up, not to the side.
Yeah, so instead of peeling back, you lift it up.
I'm glad I missed the birth of my daughter for that story.
Well, we'll be able to fucking help bridge it out because I know how to take a band-aid on and off. So, I mean, I missed the birth of my daughter for that story. Well, we'll be able to fucking help Bridget out
because I know how to take a Band-Aid on and off.
So, I mean, I can help with anything.
Well, if there's any mishaps today,
I'm sure they'll just use a Band-Aid.
Yeah.
Yeah, and I'll be able to rip that right off her if she needs.
Save money on a wax.
Exactly right.
Anyway, that's Tony's TikTok tip of the day.
Should I start the segment?
Write that down, producer Cam.
Anyway, back to the thing.
It's not a brainstorm.
They were about to give birth.
There's a baby coming.
I'm stressed.
You've called me out of nowhere.
You said we've got to
quickly fucking get in there.
Coming early today.
It's happening.
It's on the way
to the hospital anyway.
And I have to drop BJ
off at the doggy daycare.
I'll take him.
I'll take him.
Are you taking BJ
to doggy daycare
like as well?
Yeah.
Oh, should you have organised?
But you can't.
It's like me with my holiday.
You couldn't organise it.
You can't book it in advance.
Because I call him and say, when my wife's pregnant,
it might be three days or three or four days.
And they're like, yeah, when should we book that in?
I was like, I don't know.
You're like, yeah, a buffer of three weeks.
They're actually lovely.
They just said, just give us a call.
Oh, my God.
We'll sort it out.
You're an emergency thing for them.
They're like, oh, my God, finally, the baby's coming.
Like, ding, ding, ding.
Like, where's the emergency kennel?
Quick, call someone so they can tell us a story about a Band-Aid.
Quick.
Well, you wouldn't fucking hurry up with your horrible fucking story.
So Bridget's on the floor doing some stretches.
Yeah.
And because she's getting quite big now,
getting up off the floor is a bit tricky.
And so often she's like, can you help me up?
Yeah.
And so when I helped her up, what I should have said is this.
Nothing.
What was that the sound of?
You should have said nothing.
Silence.
Well, you've never said nothing in your life.
But what I instead did when I was lifting her up was when that is so nasty i know and it wasn't like as a joke like it just
is it just like a dad reaction to like did you did you just literally go, oh, well, my hips are a bit sore.
You know, my Achilles are really playing up.
So it's quite hard for me to do this.
No, I just, I didn't even think.
It's just like when you lift anything.
Yeah.
But it was.
I just lifted up my water bottle.
But it was.
If I had.
Lifted up the TV remote, you know.
Because she is like.
She's pregnant.
She's pregnant. She's pregnant.
She's carrying a person.
And a placenta and liquid.
Yeah.
So she's heavier than normal.
But I probably could have just lifted her and like grunted silently or just straight.
Yeah, just run through it.
You know, like at the gym.
Yeah, or done literally anything else.
And she goes, and she wasn't like pissed, but she was just like kind of looked at me.
She was like, oh, sorry.
Yeah, like she was apologising to me and I was like.
That's awful.
It is awful.
And I still feel.
It was nice that you helped her.
That's what I reminded her of.
And you weren't just, like, taking a foot off her, I guess.
Well, it's always a silver lining, isn't it?
She's like a turtle on her back, like on the ground.
And you're like, oh, how funny.
I'll send this to my fucking work group chat.
Hey, it's Caitlin from Scotland and you're listening to Tony and Ryan.
All right.
A massive shout out to a few of our champion baby tapas.
No one panic.
Jace B, more like Jace BB, baby coming.
Chloe, more like slowy up the pregnancy because the baby's coming.
Sparrow Priest, more like... I'll be up at Sparrow's fart pulling this baby out.
Because the baby's coming.
Tori Hogan, Tori Hogan, look after your dog at the doggie daycare.
And Chloe Elise Rawling.
Chloe Elise Rawling.
Bridget's Tori is going to be Hogan'd by the end of the day.
What?
We have to Tori open to get the baby out.
Is that too soon?
That's fucked.
Are we on?
Are we still on?
What are you doing?
Are we recording?
Have you turned into a fuckhead?
I don't know.
Bridget's turned into a mum and you've turned into a wanker?
I'm sorry.
I tried to get in on the fun and I'm not as funny as you.
Chloe Elise crawling, I think, is probably a good one because the baby.
And then crawling along.
I wonder if my daughter later today or tomorrow, whenever they're born,
will make the same sound as you make.
I've got that to look forward to for the next few months, years, decades.
How long do they cry for?
I mean, I still cry like every day.
Well, how long do they cry for when it's my problem?
Yeah, I mean, you get to decide that, don't you?
Yeah.
If you don't call your daughter for six years,
then it's not your problem, is it?
All right.
What have we got here?
No follow-up questions for that one.
Righto.
So.
So.
There you go. A little personal. Okay. Um, so, Tony, um, I know you reckon that it's not the case, but people used to say that
you look like your mame.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I get it a lot.
Yeah.
And there are photo in your like, you know, Apple, the phone that the memories are popping up. Yeah. And we were sitting together the other day and your mum popped up. Yeah. And a photo in your like, you know how Apple, the phone, their memories are popping up?
Yeah.
And we were sitting together the other day and your mum popped up.
Yeah.
And it was like obviously one of the last times I'd like taken a screenshot
of it or something and it popped up as like a memory and it was like a beautiful
photo of her.
Yeah.
And yeah, I was like, oh.
I see it.
I don't see it.
But my, like everybody always says to us like, oh,
you look so much like your mom or like if
i'm with my sister libby yeah um the one that lives in darwin where if we're together people
always like you guys look so similar but i don't see it yeah i don't think anyone does when they're
in it but it's like yeah the parsons were around at my place yesterday so my mate dave parsons and
his brother mike they're two years apart one One, Dave's a year younger than me.
Mike's a year older than me.
They're like twins.
Really?
And the dad is like.
So they're both hot?
Yeah.
And is the dad a fucking daddy?
Is the dad hot?
Dave Parsons' dad hot?
Yeah.
Fuck.
Jimbo.
So he came around yesterday.
And they're spitting image of each other.
Yeah, right.
Yeah, and it's awesome.
So when I was 30, right, so I'm 35 now, Bridget's 36.
So five or six years ago was when we decided to like we're going to have kids.
So six years ago, like waiting for today basically.
And but Bridget's like wanted to be a mum like forever.
Like she always knew that that was what she wanted to be, yeah.
So I'm at the doctor and doing a checkup because I guess we're like,
oh, we're going to have kids, should we do a checkup?
I don't know.
When do you start taking a prenatal vitamin?
And we were also in Canberra at the time,
so we didn't have like a local family doctor.
So we're like, well, let's go do a meet and greet before crunch time.
Because imagine if you need them for a lot of support or whatever,
and you go, oh, okay, we don't even know this guy.
Yeah, as weird as that sounds.
So we're like doing a meet and greet with a doctor.
And Ryan, any medical history of this?
And then, of course, I have to do the embarrassing thing of like,
I actually don't know.
That's not embarrassing.
It's not embarrassing, but it's just like, oh, it shouldn't be sheepish.
But it's kind of just because they're like, so any history of this?
And you go, oh, actually, I don't know.
I've never met anyone with my DNA.
And then the doctor says, well, you guys are trying for a baby, right?
And I go, yeah.
And he goes, well, it turns out, you know, if this is successful,
never have you met anyone with your DNA, but you're going to now
because this is going to be the first one.
And because I never got there, you look like your mum,
the Parsons brothers.
Because I don't look like my family.
Although someone has said to my mum that I look like her.
See, I think people just say that.
Is that just a nice thing to say?
I think it's like a nice thing to say.
Is that when they go, oh, she's got your nose?
Does that have people's nose?
Well, no, I don't think so.
I mean, sometimes if you've seen a honker and you see, like, you know,
like have you ever seen a family nose where you go, oh, you're related?
Yeah.
Yeah.
So this guy, Jace, I used to work with.
Jace.
Jace Hawkins.
Yeah.
He and his dad, lovely Paul, the late Paul.
He's such a great man.
He passed away a couple of years ago.
They looked exactly the same, same hook nose, like massive honker.
They look so similar. Okay. Well, I thought today would be like a beautiful day. Same hook nose, like massive honker. They look so similar.
Okay.
Well, I thought today would be like a beautiful day.
Sorry, but I'm saying honker a lot.
But.
Yeah.
Am I going to say something in my, have I got a honker?
Nah, you're fine.
You and Bridget are both very like normal looking people.
I mean, what's normal?
Yeah, what a fucking great compliment.
No, but you're both like good looking.
I think it's gonna be fine because what i would hate is to go is the baby's born and then i go geez her nose is
fucked and you go yeah well it's the same as yours yeah and i go what do you mean yeah and that's like
a high like graph glass shattering moment for you because you're like have i had a fuck nose this
whole time you go did you not know yeah oh sorry was a few weeks ago and we did what didn't you know,
but you probably should have.
Yeah, yeah.
I feel like one of those things is like that's really hard
is when someone has a baby and it's fugo and you have to like.
Can you, what's the definition of fugo?
Like fugly, like fucking ugly.
Oh, I thought fugly was just something fun, but it means fucking ugly.
Fucking ugly, yeah.
And when someone has a fugo baby and you have to be like,
oh, what a beautiful little angel.
Anyway, keep going with your thing.
You know how it's your year of honesty?
Yeah.
I'm done.
I got nothing else to say.
Oh, okay, great.
Bridget's doing the work from here.
Yeah, sorry.
All I have to do is drop the dog off and come and do a podcast.
It's your year of honesty.
Yep.
You are the godmother. If you can't be honest with your godmother if you can't be honest with your
goddaughter who can you be honest exactly right well i'll tell her i won't tell you guys
that will she's beautiful i'll pick her up and i go you're fucking ugly
no i would never i would never i would obviously never no but i would respect the honesty and i
need to come to the hospital like am i coming with you now not right now wait for the because it might take the baby comes though can i come to the hospital? Like, am I coming with you now? Not right now. Wait for the – because it might take –
So when the baby comes, though, can I come to the hospital
or do I have to wait until it, like, comes home or something?
It depends on, like, COVID protocols and also how long –
Well, I didn't go to football so that I could be here.
Oh, right.
I've been in lockdown.
Well, if it's an easy birth, we'll probably be home pretty quick.
And if it's a brutal birth –
And then am I allowed to come over?
Yeah. And then if it's a brutal birth, And then am I allowed to come over? Yeah.
And then if it's a brutal birth, like Bridget might be not ready for guests.
Yeah, that's fair.
Yeah.
But I would.
You make sure that you tell people you're not ready if you're not ready.
Because I've.
For children.
I've read.
I've left it too late now, mate.
I actually don't think I'm ready for kids.
I've read so many things online that people were like,
I felt pressured by my friends and family to have them over straight away
and we really weren't ready and we missed all of that really early bonding time
because the baby was born, we were holding it and people just barged in
or people just came to our house.
You make sure that if you're not ready,
you fucking tell people that you're not ready for them to come over
and I'll stand at the door and I won't come in.
I'll stand at the door and I'll go, they've said no visitors today.
Fuck off.
Will you have a clipboard?
Yep.
Will you have black boots?
Yeah, I'll get a little velvet rope from Amazon.
Order that now, please, producer cam.
Is it going to come in prime?
Because it's happening now.
I need it urgently.
They've got Express on there.
I can see you as being a door bitch.
And I fucking would as well.
If that was my only task i would be able
to settle into that and i've i mean i will have to go on my holiday at some stage but apart from
that that's fine all right so the baby's grandma yaya my mom rocks up mandy yep and she has waited
her whole life for a granddaughter i go mandy not now babe and she goes well tony please let me in
and i'll go they're not ready for you, Mandy.
I'm so sorry.
Here's a cafe voucher for the cafe down the road.
$20.
Go get yourself a latte, babe.
You come back when they're ready.
I'll call you.
Give me your mobile number.
That's what I'll be saying.
First of all, how much do you think a latte costs in my neck of the woods?
I don't know.
Clearly, you've lost touch with the common man.
$20 for a latte.
Like a little sandwich or something.
You are so rich.
Second of all, a line that always used to work on me from Door Bitches
was when they go, not in those shoes.
Yeah, well, I'll say that to Mandy because she'll be wearing
her block dance shoes.
I can see it now.
And I'll say, Mandy, you're in your dance shoes.
Take those off.
Go home.
Yeah, not today, mate.
Not a nose.
You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here.
And then I'll play Closing Time by Semisonic and then I'll be fine.
Yeah.
Put the lights on.
Yep. And I start like, I'll be fine. Yeah. Flick the lights on. Yep.
And I start like, I start cleaning up the bar that doesn't exist.
At the front door.
Anyway, I think that this is just the most exciting time.
It really is.
And I could not be happier for the two of you.
Like no one deserves it more.
You've been waiting for this for such a long time.
Yep.
And I am so excited for you guys
but i'm also just like really blessed to be part of it like i feel so grateful that i'm like here
witnessing it you know what i mean so blessed to be the first invited yeah so blessed to be there
tomorrow night we can tell people no i just i'm really i'm like all jokes do i need a door bitch
to keep the door bitch out no no no all jokes no. All jokes aside, and I know that we fuck around
and we give each other shit, but this is genuine.
Like I could not be happier for you guys and I'm so excited
for everything that's going to happen and the fact that I get to see it
for a distance or close or whatever the case may be.
Stay at the door.
Fuck off.
I'm trying to be nice.
Sorry.
But like being part of it is really exciting because like I consider you guys family and our
family is growing and like that is just really exciting you're gonna make me cry don't look at
me but like isn't it like it is you know like Torbs and I we don't have any family here like
Bridget's family's in New Zealand like you've obviously got a really small family like I
consider myself really lucky to be a part of it in whatever capacity it is. So it's just like really, really such a blessing.
Thank you for saying those kind words.
Don't look at me because I'll cry because I can see you crying.
What I will say though is that –
Is the velvet rope on its way?
What I will say is thank you for saying it feels like family.
That does make it even stranger that two Christmases in a row you have declined my invitation hey i don't see my family
yeah but did they invite you yeah that's a good point
you might look like libby but i'm the one inviting you on christmas day that's true that's true
um but no it is very exciting time would you sorry i just, I had to be a bother. No, no, you go. But do you feel the same way?
Or have I just really put myself out there?
Because we might put the velvet rope on hold if you don't feel the same.
Oh, well, I actually need that velvet rope.
So, yes, I do feel the same.
No, actually.
No, I do.
Because, well, we spend more time with each other than we do with our own families.
Yeah.
That's a fact.
With my boyfriend, Torbs.
Yeah.
Wow.
Wow.
Are you sure you guys aren't married?
Yeah.
No, it is a special moment.
And I mean, we've joked about, well, not joked because it really happened,
but some of the interesting times with the semen samples and going to hospital.
There was a time where I spent a night in hospital and then came in
to record the next day and so um obviously this show is a fun one um but you've kind of seen the
like bridget's been hospitalized many times in this pregnancy you spent a week straight at one
stage uh four or five days another and it was just before christmas as well so it was like you know
it was really hard time yes but um anything we've
needed you've always been there you were the first to offer help um obviously many empty offers
but you did offer which i do appreciate it's not an empty offer um you went around took care of bj
one day and fed him uh when we're in the hospital so um yeah like you've and i really mean like all
that stuff yeah yeah i know i know and uh And so thank you for being part of it.
And this is like, I don't want to say the hard work
because Bridget's done all the fucking hard work, not me,
but now we get to have this daughter
and we'll have the most loving godmother that one could have.
And is it going to call you Auntie Toddy
or do you want her to call you godmother?
No, godmother's too formal.
Maybe that at my funeral she could call me that.
What about Gottie M?
Gottie M.
Gottie Mata.
Like Boney M.
Yeah.
Gottie M.
Gottie M.
What do you want to be called?
Auntie Toddy?
You can be Auntie Toddy.
So all of my nieces and nephews just call me Toddy.
Okay.
Yeah.
I'm happy to be Toddy.
You're happy to be Toddy.
Yeah.
Okay.
But yeah, you're definitely part of the family.
Thank you.
You feel like family. You were there yesterday. You'll be one of the last people to see Bridget before're happy to be toddy. Yeah. But yeah, you're definitely part of the family. Thank you. You were there yesterday.
You'll be one of the last people to see Bridget before she gives birth.
Just before.
Yeah.
You have offered to cut the cord.
I did.
I offered to catch the baby.
You did.
But I've seen you try to catch a beer when I threw it to you.
Yeah.
And I've seen.
Yeah.
I threw a pen to produce a can before and it literally ended up in fucking Adelaide.
So I don't think I'll be catching anything.
But again, like I said before, it's the offer that counts.
It's the fact that you wanted to try to catch it.
And they aren't empty offers.
Like they aren't.
Do you want to come and catch the baby?
Yeah, I'm coming in the car.
I already said that.
I've got my hands sanitized.
I'm ready to go.
But like we said, Producer Cam is going to hold down the fort for a week or so.
And we'll be back with a new baby, a baby name.
Even though everyone in this room already knows it.
Maybe it'll change.
Maybe it'll change.
Maybe it won't be what we think it is.
Maybe it'll be different.
And Tarpa Gia in Perth already knows the name.
But maybe that'll be different as well.
Now that you know the name,
do you feel pissed that I told a tarpa before I told you?
No, absolutely not.
Why would I be angry that someone else, like it doesn't make me know it less no i know i'm a beautiful person
when we when we told you we were expecting you were like who else have you told and you you were
very eager to know where you were on the pecking order yeah but i haven't told your aunties i asked
in a nice way like oh what did your mom say and you know what did your auntie say when you told your aunties? I asked in a nice way. We were the cousins. Oh, what did your mum say? What did your auntie say when you told her before me?
Yeah, what did Bridget's sister say?
Yeah, you know?
And thank you to everyone who's listening to the show as well
because as you know, Tony, when we do the meet and greets,
how many like baby clothes that people have made,
like little tarpa baby clothes.
We've received lots of lovely gifts and lots of very sweet little baby onesies
that say like daughter McDaughter face and tarpa baby and things,
which is so, so sweet.
They're so cute.
But basically, no, you'll have to see it required.
How long have we been recording for?
26 minutes.
Fuck!
The fucking, we've got to go.
The car's running.
Okay, thank you for your kind words.
Thanks for listening to the pod.
I'll be back in a few weeks.
I'll be a dad.
He's going to be a dad.
I feel like I've been a nerdy dad for a month or so now.
I've been working into it.
I'm wearing Birkenstocks and socks right now.
Yeah.
I'm really getting cozy.
I've hit the microphone.
I've hit the microphone.
I'm stressed.
I'm stressed.
Nobody panic.
How do you actually, like, how do you feel right now?
I just can't wait for that first hug.
Yeah.
That first little cuddle.
Yeah.
It's been a long time coming.
That's what I've been thinking.
Even since I think we mentioned that we were expecting,
I was like just that first cuddle or maybe getting home on the couch
when Bron's there as well.
It's that first cry and when they hand him over.
I'm about to have it now.
I can't waste the first cry.
They're not even born yet.
Yeah.
But like their first cry.
They're like when they come out and they go,
and then they hand the baby over to you.
If it sounds like you.
It will.
It'll look just like me as well.
I'm actually the father.
If it's got a lodged nose.
I've been carrying the baby.
It's mine.
All right.
Have a great day, everyone.
We'll chat to you real soon.
We fucking love you.
We'll keep you updated.
We will.
We'll be back.
I'm going to go and you're going to be coming to town
and I'm going on a nice relaxing holiday.
Yeah, you put your feet up, mate.
Both you and Bridge will have your feet up this afternoon.
Yep.
Just different kinds of stirrups.
Fuck me.
Okay.
Are we ending on that?
Yeah, no.
How long has it been?
28.
Let's get the fuck out.
Okay, we've got to go.
We've got to go.
We've got to go.
All right, see you soon.
Love you, bye.
Bye, baby.