Toni and Ryan - LinkedIn and in the Bedroom

Episode Date: January 13, 2025

THE GRAND RETURN OF THINGS YOU CAN SAY AND ALSO IN THE BEDROOM!!!!!! Love ya!!!! Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Visit oxio.ca for internet from a provider that won't ever raise your prices like ever and use the promo code at checkout tarp. That's oxio.ca and use code TARP at checkout to get your first month free. Au revoir. Meha mia. Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast.

My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Arthur Tony Lodge. Hello. And we are calling Miss Hazel who's in the UK. Miss Hazel. That sounds like a YouTube, like a YouTuber. Yeah.

Welcome to Miss Hazel's beauty channel. Yeah. Or like Miss Hazel's dance class. Welcome to Ms. Hazel's beauty channel. Yeah. Or like Ms. Hazel's dance class. I like that. Bow, me, bow, bloop, bloop. Oh. Hello. Hello, Hazel.

Hazel. Oh my God, hello. Hello. Oh, are we a surprise, Hazel? Did you not know we were calling? It's Shonnie and Ryan, by the way. Oh no, I know. You've got a beautiful English accent. You sound very posh.

Have I? I'm not, I promise. Oh yeah, that sounded a bit less posh. Yeah, Hazel, I'm about to show Tony what you do for a living and she's going to read it out. Oh, here we go. Tony. Okay. Um, I work for the, I work for the ambulance service officers.

I do. How do you pronounce it Hazel? An ambulance. Yeah. Well, she has written in my defense, ambulance. Yeah. Well, she's being empathetic towards your special needs. That's amazing, Hazel, that you do that. I love that.

It's not too bad. I just make sure that they all get paid for what they're doing. Oh, yeah. Oh, nothing big. Nothing big. Just making sure that the emergency services are paid for. Just having the well-turning. Yeah, all good. All good. We love a humble queen. Now, Hazel, I believe you listened to the Tony and Ryan podcast with your daughter. I'm really nervous to ask, how old is she? She will be 16 next week. Oh, that's safe.

Okay. Is she learning things that you don't want to learn when your family's in the car? You know what? She's so open about everything. It's really not a big deal. Oh, we just, yeah. I love that. She sat right here with me actually. Oh, no, no. I'd tell her she can sign up to Patreon herself.

Okay. All right. Okay. Well, Hazel and Hazel only. Will you approve today's episode? Oh, absolutely. Yay. Hazel only. Will you approve today's episode? Oh, absolutely. Yay! Hi, this is Hazel from Carlisle in the UK and I approve this podcast. We grew up in the era where it was like surf brands were like the shit, right? When you're in, did you have like a natural hierarchy?

Oh, yeah. So, all right, there's four. Yep. I reckon we, you and I thinking of a different four though. What are your four? Cause I was also into skate brands. Okay. No, but I'm talking surf straight up.

Okay. What are you for? Uh, Roxy, Billabong. I wasn't a rusty girl. I wasn't going to think rusty even though I had rusty stuff. Yeah. Ripped kill. Yeah. And.

And if you went to Target and you were Pov. Piping hot. Yep. So in order, piping hot obviously last, how embarrassing. I had heaps of piping hot stuff though. Yeah. But Roxy at the top. Cause Roxy was the female version of quick silver.

Quick silver was like the wild card one. I reckon that Roxy and quick silver was the most expensive. Yeah. Cause I feel like rip curl was like, Rip curl was cool, but they did the watches. Right. Everybody that had a surf watch had a rip curl watch. I had a rip curl.

Billabong was cool, but quick, quick sand, quick a surf watch had a Rip Curl watch. I had a Rip Curl watch. Billabong was cool, but quicksand, quicksilver was just like a, wow, it was just fun. So Roxy, which was like the girl version. Yep. And it was just the, um, the quicksilver logo turned into a heart, like two logos back to back, um, which is pretty clever. So Roxy then Billabong, then Rip Curl, then, um. Is that just an Australian thing?

Surf brands. Or like those specifically? Well, no, because they were big elsewhere, but they were just really expensive to buy other places. Yeah. It's like a real trade to get like a Billabong t-shirt. Yeah. Yeah. And you'd wear that to every party, obviously. But that was, it was the fashion. I remember getting a pair of Roxy jeans and the Roxy jeans had flares with,

well, they, they did, but with bleach, Roxy was written across the bum and they were the jeans. So the pair of jeans to wear was like, was those that had Roxy across the bum. And you'd obviously wear it with a skate belt. Yeah. And your galler's shoes. And then probably a Roxy like polo top with like the three buttons at the top. And it looked like two shirts. It was just one. Yeah.

I got fingered a lot. Yeah. I was a bit, I didn't want to be the one to say it, but it sounds like. Pukashell necklace as well. Blonde highlights. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Pukashell necklace as well. Blonde highlights. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Pukashell necklace, Pukashell this. Yeah. So that was, that was, that was big. That was big. Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. Happy new year. So here's the news of 2025. LinkedIn, like every other social media platform, is leaning in to short vertical videos.

They're doing reels. Lean on in. I love it. They're getting around it. Apparently they're going hard. Now we learned last year that LinkedIn didn't have to participate in the social media ban in Australia for under 16s because, and I quote, we're too boring. Well, cause wasn't LinkedIn automatically added.

And then they said, probably don't worry about us. Yeah. So I think all the social media has had to like respond to like, here's the plan in Australia, here's the new law. What are you going to do? Yes. And LinkedIn went, we're not going to do anything because we're too boring for kids and everyone went fair.

And that was it. And the government went, okay. Well, I also, that is fair. Yep. Um, but I think with the announcement, they're going into short vertical videos, which is our shit. We love short vertical videos. This is our whole thing.

I think it's time to say welcome to the new segment called things you can say in LinkedIn on LinkedIn, on LinkedIn. And also in the bedroom. Let's fucking get it. I love this segment. Me too. And I had so much fun sitting down and writing this as well. I hope you've got workplace insurance.

I think 2025 is going to be the year that a lot of us get replaced by technology. Speak for yourself. I'm going to need you to circle back on this big boy. It'd be an honor and a privilege. I'm happy to announce that I've taken up a new position. Let's circle back on that. Hey Ryan, you and I can put the sin into synergy. That's sexy.

That is hot. I'm willing to start at the bottom. You have to be in this crazy world, in this dog eat dog world. I'm working my way out. Yeah. I actually speak from experience as the CEO, the come executive officer. That is. Because I'll make sure you do. executive officer. Cause I'll make sure you do.

Come. Yeah. Cause I'm the executive officer. It's like CEO. It's like a play. What's a word that means G's that starts with a. Ejaculate. Chief ejaculate officer. Yeah.

That's the CEO. Nice. God, I said ejaculate chief ejaculate officer. That's the CEO. Nice. God, I said ejaculate fast. So you. Because when you come, you go, oh, ejaculate. I'm ejaculating. That would happen in the workplace. What do you mean? What workplace? Where have you worked?

What happened in the cold Dali in Mannington? Want some sauce with those prawns? What's in Thousand Island dressing? Tomato sauce and mayonnaise. No wonder it's delicious. And some lemon. And some lemon. Why am I paying people to do something I could do myself?

Sometimes it's better when other people have their hands in, don't you think? What does a hands all hands meeting mean? Genuine question. I've never heard that. All hands? Yeah. I feel like big companies like,

oh, we're having an all hands meeting. I've never heard that before. I can feel this one having worked at Spotify. Yep. Just means everyone's there. And how. Yeah. I don't have any work for you, but I'll give you a job. Struggling with your oral skills? Would you be interested in this Simon Sinek short course? It's good to upskill. It is. Yeah. I'm always looking for new ways to make things a bit more efficient

in the all hands meeting or all mouths meeting coming up. I finished too early and here's what it taught me about B2B marketing. I don't even get that one. I'm more interested in A2M marketing. Ostromel. Yeah, we got, yeah. Hi, it's Hazel from Carlisle and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. Whether you're in your running era, Pilates era, or yoga era, dive into Peloton workouts that work with you. From meditating at your kid's game

to mastering a strength program, they've got everything you need to keep knocking down your goals. No pressure to be who you're not. Just workouts and classes to strengthen who you are. So no matter your era, make it your best with Peloton. Find your live. Hundreds of wildfires are burning. Be the first to know what's going on

and what that means for you and for Canada. This situation has changed very quickly. Helping make sense of the world when it matters most. Stay in the know. Download the free CBC News app or visit cbcnews.ca. A massive shout out to a few of our champion tapas over at our Patreon. Absolutely love to see it. Thank you very much for being part of it. We actually can't make this podcast without you. Not just being part of

it, but like sharing your stories, hyping us up and just like recommending us around, which we'll touch on in a second. But Chrissy, good on you Chrissy. Love to see it. Merry Chrissy. Savannah Bacina, hardly no one. Savannah Bacina. That is a great name. Savannah Bacina. Do you reckon that Savannah Basina knows Andrea? No, but she's the cousin of the ice cream people. Aurora Mendoza Mendoza. What did I say?

Adrena. Sorry. No, Basina knows Masina. Nice. Thank you. You're going to say Peter Pipo. Sarah, good on you, Sarah. Love your work. Owen, you own your money and Tamara, no it's Masina, nice. I thought you were going to say Peter Pipo. Sarah, good on you Sarah, love your work.

Owen you, you own your money and Tamara Keller. Good on you Tamara. I just, that was off the dime. That wasn't even written down. Recommendation week. It is recommendation week. We all have a job this week to recommend the Tony and Ryan podcast to three people.

Three. Whether you want to DM them, whether you're chatting to people at work, you go, oh, what are you listening to? Yep. It's time to welcome people into the TARP community. They're not just going to listen to the podcast. They're going to become TARPers.

Yes. Like all of us. Yep. Tony and Ryan podcast. We'd love to see ya. We'd love to have ya. Three people each. Three people each.

I think that's fair. If someone recommends more than 10, I'm going to send them a Tumblr. If somebody recommends more than 20, I'm going to send you a Tumblr with a little bit of Ryan's beard in it. And you have to wash it before you use it. Yeah. Do they want that? There's a lot of, how many did you say for that? More than 20. So a lot of people are doing 19 and go, I bet he's the brakes here. Yeah, better. But how, like, what do we, what do we consider having done it? Quote unquote.

Do you know what I mean? Like, is it just like telling people or is it like, do they need evidence? Like what is, it's an honesty system because it's also not just like, they need to have listened. You know, they need to have listened. Like it can't just be, I shared it on Instagram and I have 382 followers. So I shared it to 302 people. That's how it works. Needs to be B2B marketing.

Yeah. As to mouth marketing. That's how we do it here. Would we take recommendations of people doing LinkedIn posts or is that really not our area? Well, off air chat, those videos are going to go on LinkedIn, obviously, that, you know, of the things you can say videos are going to go on LinkedIn, obviously. You know, of the things you can say on LinkedIn and also on the bedroom. I don't know if LinkedIn people will like it. They're going to get it.

They're going to get it. But the thing is, is that I don't care what LinkedIn people will like. The thing is that Tony doesn't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck. And I'm not about to be like, what an honor it is to be bestowed the privilege of creating this podcast. I'm not writing that on LinkedIn just because other fucking losers do. I'm going, fuck you. This is sick. See a bitch.

Like I don't care that other people do that. Here's what I learned about me to be marketing. Like how fucking dull. It is actually dull. Do you know what I'm like? It's sad and dull. I'm not doing that. So, all right.

Tag me on LinkedIn. So we'll couple LinkedIn with a recommendation. We'll couple LinkedIn for the recommendation. Well, when did we do, a few years ago, where I was like- How cool that we've been doing this long enough to say that we did something a few years ago, like that's so crazy. But where we told people to recommend this podcast, but say it was like a business podcast, I remember they were writing in the reviews like, oh, the things I've learned about-

It was on LinkedIn, I think. And it was like, the things that I've learned about my business from Tony and Ryan is just uncanny. You welcome. You are welcome. You are welcome. And I'm glad that we're on the LinkedIn bandwagon because I've got a fucking ick with Instagram, Instagram, if you will.

So my new thing that I keep seeing everywhere that I just hate, and I don't really know why I hate it, but it really pisses me off is that the new thing is that like people will post like a recipe video. Yeah. And then in the caption, instead of having the recipe there, it's like comment recipe and I'll DM it to you. Oh, isn't that just the worst thing you've ever fucking seen? Fuck off. They ironically, there is a little bit of that on LinkedIn as well. Cause I go comment strategy and I'll send you the plan. No!

Fucking tell me I'm here right fucking now. I'm here now and I know that you want a lot of comments. Like I guess that the comments are engagement and that's good, whatever. But like, it's actually really fucking embarrassing because I don't want people that follow me to see that I've commented recipe underneath a fucking high protein cottage cheese bread replacement. Do you know what I mean? I don't want people to know that! I want to enjoy that shit in the privacy of my own home. Yeah. I'm not like spruiking my wares. Yeah.

Do you know what I mean? Because then I comment on something and because I've got the tick comes up at the top. And I'm so embarrassing. And so every time I see something that I like the look of, I go, Oh, I'll save that recipe and then it's like comment for the recipe and I go, I'll never know. And I just have to scroll on. And I live not knowing. And isn't that just the most heartbreaking thing you've ever heard?

When I saw you come into work today, I looked you up and down and I went, she hasn't had protein ricotta. God, it's cheap. Well, you didn't comment on it. So you don't even know what did it. You don't even know what did it. I wouldn't know either. And then I'd rather tag two people and.

Okay. So this is what I reckon. It's so embarrassing that then the people that follow you, whether you've got a million followers or one, people that follow you see your comment. And that is to me, just so fucking embarrassing. It's always as bad as the tagging someone that you know, in a fucking caption, I think that's happening on a few different platforms now and I don't like it. I hate it.

Tell me the thing. Yeah. Or don't. Or they go, oh, like this cool way of like, so another thing that I get on my algorithm a lot is like Gua Sha techniques. Um, hang on. Sorry, mate. We actually speak English on this program.

But so it's like- I know you've been to Japan and know the gashas. No, no, no, no. But- So it's like just like a skin thing. It's like a skin health thing. Is it the gym for your face? Remember that thing?

It is a little bit like that, but it's like an ancient thing. Okay. And there's like lots of different ways you can kind of- So it's like a- I've got like a quartz like stone thing. And the way you use it on your face kind of like drains a bit of fluid away and things like that. Comment, I want a facial for more. And that's kind of it. It's like, oh, to go from this to this, do this, comment fucking Gua Sha so that I'll send it right to your DM. And I go, I just want to watch you do it. Can you just tell me what it is? I just want to watch how satisfying it is that you

like roll this thing on your face and you look beautiful and you've got the oil on it's all gorge. I don't want to do that. And then some of them now real sneaky and it's like comment recipe, but you have to be following me otherwise I'll go to your spam and I go, Oh, can I tell you really embarrassing? Yes, please. Because I need to know that other people are fucking suffering through this.

So I like everyone a bit of new year, new me. Yeah. Oh mate, we're all feeling that. I just said high protein cottage cheese bread replacement. Yeah. And I'm like, am I going to eat a bit better? Am I going to get a bit more exercise? And I see this guy, he's's like a nutritionist or a fucking,

I think he's calling himself a weight loss coach or something. And he's showing some before and afters and don't they just jazz it right up. Well, cause you go, well, I'm so happy for them. Yeah. I'll be like, if he can do it, I can do it. I kind of look like the before and I'd love to look like the other. And I said, comment weight loss. No, no. Like there is no way I'm writing that.

There is no way in hell I'm writing that. And also like the diet culture language. Comment, I love KFC. Yeah. Even though I'm not commenting anything. Yeah. Imagine if on one of our videos it was like,, comment punchline will send you the funny part. Like, fuck off. And then I never send you anything because I'm dull.

Because there's nothing else. Yeah. Like, it's just the most- Comment punchline for the rest of- I don't know, I've changed my tune. I actually think that's fantastic. We are not doing that. Comment punchline for the end.

I've got to love to see it. I think people will be with you on that because I get from the marketing. Oh, we're getting engagement. It gives you an invitation to send it. Yeah. But the thing about social platforms is about the people that use the social platforms and stop taking them for granted and pissing them off. But also like you work for them.

We want our content to go viral. So we do these tricks to get people to comment and do whatever. I might make a good fucking video. Yeah, try that for size. Do you know what I mean? But every time I see this, I'm like, well, that's too embarrassing. Like I've actually considered a burner account. I'm like, do I need to make a like,

I've got a burner account. Do you? Yeah, do actually. Yeah. Can I start? Can I can you give me the login so I can fucking Nah, because come in some random stuff? Nah, because then you'll you'll out me. Because now there's gonna everyone's gonna go to the protein ricotta. Yeah. And they're gonna say this random no profile thing. It's just all numbers.

Yeah. No, I think that's what I need. Just the person, the person looking for the ricotta recipe is also trying to lose weight. Yeah. Oh, interesting weight loss. Yeah. That's what I'm going for. Yeah.

So that's just, I just keep seeing that and I'm like, Oh, you're killing me. Yeah. You're fucking killing me. I got a love to say to you. Bring it back. Bring us back. Let me send you this photo, Tony L me. Yeah. You're fucking killing me. I got a love to say to you. Bring it back. Bring us back. Let me send you this photo, Tony Lodge. Yep.

And tell me what you see. Tell me what you see. Also in our group chat that I just texted it to, the last thing that was sent was Tony taking a photo of her breakfast and it looked great. Yeah, it did. We'll put that in there episode, but somebody walking along the road, oh, has their like plastic bag split? Like everything's falling out of their bag. My dad drove to where I work and waited for me to arrive.

When I got there, he sprinkled salt from my car to the building entrance so that I, his 38 year old daughter, wouldn't slip on the ice. Oh my God. I love you dad. Thanks for taking care of me always. That is so adorable. What a sweetheart. That's real acts of service king. Yeah. So she's obviously moved out and blah, blah, blah. But he's like, no, no, I know you started eight. So I'll be down there at 7.45. And that is so sweet. Can't have you slipping over, sweetheart.

That's really, really lovely. That is really sweet. You love to see that. You do love to see that. I wish I went first because mine's a little bit less wholesome than that. Okay. My love to see it is that I took something back because I didn't like it. That's huge, Doug.

Isn't it? I bought a monitor, like a computer screen from Shmuffer Schmucks. And I bought it and Torbz was like, oh, which one do you want? And I was like, they're all the same. Like literally the cheapest one. Like I don't care. It doesn't need to be fancy. I just need to be able to see. And I didn't know that that should have been something that I needed to let them know. I bought the cheapest one. I got it home. It was so bad. And I was like,

oh, now I've like, I've taken it out of the box. Like I own this now. We put it back in the box. We took it back. And the lovely girl at the Schmoffer Schmerx was like, oh, I was like, I want to return this. And she was like, is there anything wrong with it? And I was like, no, but it sucks. And she was like, oh, cool. Yeah. Do you want like store credit or do you want money back, whatever? And I was like, I'm going to buy another one, a better one. So can I just like pay the difference? And she was like, yeah, that's fine. I didn't have to come up with a story. I didn't have to just like suffer through the shit monitor. I've coached Tony on this because I know I say what's my favorite sentence. That no is a complete sentence.

You don't need to give a reason. Yeah. Did you like this one? No. No. Can I have that one instead? Yeah. And was she lovely about it? She was so lovely and she wasn't like

weird or nasty or judgy. She's just doing her job. So it was actually probably like the perfect scenario. Cause if I'd gotten somebody that had like, you know, maybe had a bad day and was a bit over it and was a bit like, well, you can't just replace that. I would have gone, well, don't panic. So it was actually like a perfect,

Good match. like simulation of having to do that. But I just took it back. I bought the new one. The new one is awesome. I've left a lovely review about it. Oh, perfect time in the ghetto. It was just great.

And I'm so proud of myself. I'm proud of you. And if you listening would like to comment monitor, we will send you a link so you too can have a great monitor and use. And use Tony's store credit. We can't because I used it and it costs more than that. So it costs like a negative store credit. Yeah. Well, it's just zero because I paid the rest.

This seems like a shit deal. Why would I comment then? Yeah. Sorry. All right. Enjoy your monitors, everyone. Yeah. Love you.

Bye.