Toni and Ryan - More Google Translations

Episode Date: November 6, 2022

We've got more naughty google business, and we are MOVING TO FRANCE!!! Love you! Toni xoxoxox Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAnd...Ryan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. Hello, my name is Tony Louise Lodge. This is Ryan Jonathan Dunn. Welcome to the podcast. And we are calling Jake. Hi, Jake. Who might be in... Which means it's...
Starting point is 00:00:12 Hello? Hi, Jake. Oh, my God. Is that one of my favourite podcasters? No, it's actually Tony and Ryan. Yeah, sorry. Oh, damn. Hamish and he were busy.
Starting point is 00:00:24 Yeah, it's... Sorry about that. Will you approve the podcast though? Absolutely. Hey, it's Jake from Perth and I approve this podcast. Welcome to the podcast. Happy Monday. Happy Monday.
Starting point is 00:00:52 Fucking start of your week, start of my bloody peak. I don't know. Sorry. Motivational Monday, start of your week, start of your peak. I don't want to get carried away too early too soon, but I got into a verbal and almost physical altercation with an 80-year-old lady on the street. What? Today?
Starting point is 00:01:06 Yesterday. And I'll tell you that story tomorrow. But I just want everyone to know that I think I was right. I don't know why you back yourself into these situations where you go, no, I was right because you just never are. My strike rate is not great, but I am confident. It's literally you're 0 for 3,000. 0 for your whole life.
Starting point is 00:01:30 No, the old lady who I was in an altercation with was wrong and you were all the great. He didn't get physical, did he? Almost physical altercation. She stepped forward. Oh, my God. Yeah. Was she robbing you?
Starting point is 00:01:45 Well, no. Quite the opposite of what it would mean, I'm robbing her. Tomorrow on the show, an altercation with an old lady. But recently, Tony, I asked you to translate a sentence from English into Dutch. This video has been watched about eight million times. Really? On all the different platforms.
Starting point is 00:02:04 Have a quick listen. Tony, go to Google Translate, English to Dutch, and type in English, pick my most beautiful side, and press play so we can all hear it. Pick my most beautiful side. Oh, that's the English? Kiss me moister kumf. The bar is really low, isn't it?
Starting point is 00:02:27 Yeah, yeah. Rhiannon has replied and said, to be fair, that is what I call my most beautiful side. Her bottom side. Kang says, looks like the most beautiful side has already been picked. Oh. That is beautiful. That's actually quite nice, isn't it?
Starting point is 00:02:46 It is quite nice. It is quite nice. But doesn't it remind you of like, you know, when you meet someone and they call their vagina like, their lady garden. Yeah. Or like it's just very like. Yeah, I don't.
Starting point is 00:02:58 So lots of people messaged through and went, oh, if you like that translation, you'll love this one. So, Tony, you've got your phone there. Yeah, I've got my phone. I'm ready to translate. All right, this one's English to finish. Finish. Okay, one second.
Starting point is 00:03:10 Everybody is actually hearing live me trying to figure this out. All right, English to finish. Yep. And the term is the cook's pouch. The cook's. I mean, not great in English, to be quite fair. P-O-U-C-H. All right, so I'm going to press go and here's English.
Starting point is 00:03:30 Cook's pouch. Beautiful. The cook's pouch? The cook's pouch, yep. And this is the Finnish translation. Kokin pussi. No! Welcome to Finland.
Starting point is 00:03:45 Go again. Cock in pussy. Cock in pussy. Well, it is the cook's pouch. All right, this one is English to Welsh. Welsh. Do you speak any other languages? Have you ever taught yourself another language?
Starting point is 00:04:09 English is pretty stressful. Yeah, English is pretty hard. But Bahasa a little bit when I lived there. Oh, really? We're in Indonesia next week. So you may hear a little. Yeah, Bahasa Indonesia. Salamat pagi.
Starting point is 00:04:24 Yep. Satu dua tiga empat lima enam tuju dilapan sebalan sepulu is one to tenasa Indonesia. Salmat Pagi. Yep. Satu dua tiga empat lima enam tujuh dilapan sebalan sepuluh is one to ten in Indonesian. You'll be able to drop some of that next week. Oh, yeah. So, you know, like every jerk student, when I was learning Indonesian in year seven and eight, I was like, when am I ever going to need to do this?
Starting point is 00:04:43 And then you literally lived there. I moved to Malaysia and Malay and Indonesian is like, when am I ever going to need to do this? And then you literally lived there. I moved to Malaysia and Malay and Indonesian is like, I'd say 95% the same. Oh, that's lucky. I was like, I remember arsehole younger Ryan who was like, when am I ever going to need that and didn't try? Well, wouldn't have that been real fucking helpful right now? Did you call like Ibu Wishart, your fucking Indonesian?
Starting point is 00:05:04 Ibu Polat. I was like, sorry for everything. Mine was Ibu Wishart, your fucking Indonesian? Ibu Polat. I was like, sorry for everything. Mine was Ibu Wishart. Yeah. Yeah. She was like a lovely woman. Where is she now? She's in Bali.
Starting point is 00:05:11 I might look her up on Facebook actually. She's lovely. Probably don't do that. Okay. English to Welsh. Yep. Coffee bean. Coffee bean.
Starting point is 00:05:18 Full stop. Space hundred. The word hundred. Okay. I don't think that the things cannot make sense in English. I think they can. No, that's not how it works. I'm pretty sure they can.
Starting point is 00:05:29 I'm pretty sure they can. No. All right. So coffee bean hundred, English to Welsh is English. Coffee bean hundred. Coffee bean hundred. And Welsh. And Welsh. Oh, there 100. And Welsh. And Welsh.
Starting point is 00:05:46 Oh, there's no audio option. What? Oh, let me do it in another app. All right. Coffee bean, 100. All right, and here's the Welsh. Can't fuck coffee. What? Hang on.
Starting point is 00:06:12 Oh, the robot that did it. This is in Google Translate. Show it to me. Coffee bean, full stop. Oh. 100. Sorry. This is why I said it doesn't make sense if it's not a real sentence.
Starting point is 00:06:27 Hey, punctuation is important. All right, ready? Far coffee, cunt. Okay, maybe that one wasn't our strongest one. No, I love it. Press it again. It's wrong. Press it again. One more time.
Starting point is 00:06:46 No. Far coffee cunt. I just never thought that a robot would call me a cunt. Far cough cunt. Coffee bean hundred? Yeah, far off, c**t. Coffee has come out of Tony's nose. Coffee bean?
Starting point is 00:07:15 A hundred dollars? Oh, fuck off, c**t. Did you want to... Fuck off, you c**t. Oh my god, it sounds like fuck off, you cunt Oh my god it sounds like Fuck off you cunt Is that not what you mean What did you think it said the whole time I thought it was said
Starting point is 00:07:37 Did you wanna come Fuck off you cunt Like did you wanna come for coffee No it's saying Fuck off you cunt Go again now that you've actually heard That's what I've been laughing at Fuck off you cunt. Like, did you want to come for coffee? No, it's saying... Fuck coffee cunt. Go again now that you've actually... Okay, okay, okay. That's what I've been laughing at.
Starting point is 00:07:48 Fuck coffee cunt. That's what I've been laughing at the whole time. Drugs are so much funnier when you have to explain it. Someone came up to me and said, Ryan, I don't like your beard. And you know what I said to them? Fuck off, you cunt. Do we have to beat those? You would have probably just heard a few beeps.
Starting point is 00:08:16 Sorry, the robot as well has just like really tipped that over the edge. That was amazing. Sometimes tech going wrong is for the better of the joke. If that's tech going wrong, then I don't want to be right. That's beautiful. And if someone said to me their voice didn't sound great, you know what I'd say to them? Fuck off, you cunt.
Starting point is 00:08:36 I don't want to come to coffee with you. Fuck off, you cunt. I can't feel c**t. The robot. I'm sorry. The robot just made it 7,000 times funnier. I think. I want to die.
Starting point is 00:09:10 That is hilarious. Whilst someone who's being a Carla Conti will always be called a Carla Conti. Yeah. I feel like if someone's a bit of a dick in the street and I look to you and go, coffee bean, 100. Yeah. And then they go, oh, my God, I know that that means. Oh, coffee cunt. Well, hopefully not. That's our code means. Fuck off, you cunt. Well, hopefully not. That's our code of saying fuck off, you cunt.
Starting point is 00:09:31 Except when you say it. Coffee bean, 100. Coffee bean, 100. But there's a full stop. Oh, yeah, coffee bean, full stop, 100. Would you believe we've got one more. English to French. English to France.
Starting point is 00:09:50 Oui, oui. Do you need to stop and do a oui, oui? Just a little bit. Coffee bean. Full stop, 100. Oh. Yeah. Don't say that to me.
Starting point is 00:10:01 English to French. All right. What do we got? Bag. The number one, like spelt. Ten. Happiness. Ten.
Starting point is 00:10:11 The number. T-E-N. They're not funny when it's. Bag one, ten, happiness. Bag one, ten, happiness. All right. In English. Bag one, ten 10 happiness. Bag 1, 10 happiness. All right. In English. Bag 1, 10 happiness.
Starting point is 00:10:30 Beautiful. And the French. 50 bonheur. Oh, my God. I just got a bit lightheaded. All right. And to that I say, fuck off, you cunt. Coffee, cut. I really was hoping it wasn't going to be the robot again. Suck on this boner.
Starting point is 00:11:20 I just laughed so hard that too much air went out of my body and I, like, couldn't see. My body was like, like, couldn't see. Like, my body was like, we don't have any oxygen for your vital organs to function. The ratio of oxygen going out to oxygen coming back in is out of whack. And as you know, I love things going in. Yeah, but now you're seeing a lot of dots. Hey, it's Jake from Perth and you're listening to Tony and Ryan.
Starting point is 00:12:05 So tomorrow on the show, I... Sorry, my voice is fucked. Yeah, you're okay. I just laughed so hard. Tomorrow on the show, I tell an 80-year-old lady to coffee bean full stop hundred. I think everyone will be on my side. But anyway, that's tomorrow on the show. Shout out to a few of our champion tarpers.
Starting point is 00:12:23 Kristen Hall, thank you so, so much. Janelle McKenzie, Matt Gleason. Gleason. Yeah, the big Glees. I'm sorry. I'm just thinking about the robot voice. It was just so funny. Maybe the robot voice should be a voice that may or may not be required
Starting point is 00:12:45 in an audio queen. Or is it funnier when it's not you doing it? I like the robot voice. Okay. I think it's really funny. Watch this face. Spoiler alert. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:58 Oh, who knows? Olivia Saar, thank you so much. Jenny Go-Go. Oh, Jenny, come, come. Oh! What? Sorry, I didn't mean that. Well, that's what...
Starting point is 00:13:09 What did you mean? It's what I said. Yeah. DJ, Louise McKee, Tyler Hunter, EvoGaming48. I'm guessing that's Tyler's Instagram or Twitter or something. Follow them. Yep. Lauren O'Donnell, Jacob Shields, and Kaylee Skolnick.
Starting point is 00:13:24 Thank you very much for being part of our Patreon. You fucking love to see it. You can join at any time in the link in our show notes. All of those people get, you know, like champion tapas definitely. They get livestream every month. We hang out. We post random videos. And also they get to vote on all of the movies that we watch.
Starting point is 00:13:41 So from the very base tier, you can vote on the movies and apply to approve the podcast. But more on the movies. More on the movies. Do you just need to take a breath? No. Take a moment? I need to just forget about the robot voice for the rest of my life
Starting point is 00:13:53 because otherwise I'll pass away. Okay. So we wanted to do food movies. And Julie and Julia won when we did the thing. And I reckon 28 hours after we posted the poll, news comes out that Julie died. Passed away, yet really young as well. 49 years old.
Starting point is 00:14:15 Yeah. She got COVID and it wasn't COVID, like she got COVID a year ago, but was like had respiratory problems and was, they don't know if it's exactly COVID, but it was like the complication, like she hasn't been well since she had it a year ago, poor thing. Wow. That's all, it's, I really loved the movie. And so that made it like even sadder to know that she'd only just passed away,
Starting point is 00:14:39 if you know what I mean. Yeah, and because the movie is, well, half of it is about her, I feel like I know her now. Yeah, because it's all a true story. Yeah. Which I, so at the end I was like, oh, I wonder how much of that is, like, you know, add a bit of GST. Yeah, a bit of mayo.
Starting point is 00:14:53 It's actually, like, legit. What was your vibe? What was your vibe? Tell me about it. Okay, well, I have some bad news because I'm moving to fucking Paris. See you later. I quit. I'm going to go. I'm going to fucking Paris. See you later. I quit. I'm going to go.
Starting point is 00:15:07 I'm going to go to the Cordon Bleu cooking school. Yep, and bag 110 happiness. See you later. I'm going to enjoy it. Yep. So this all came about because I gave you the recommendation years ago of watching Alison Roman on YouTube. I'm a big Alison Roman fan, love her vibe, love everything about her,
Starting point is 00:15:25 love what she cooks, love the way that she talks about food and everything. And you only recently sat down with your wife, Bridget. And we're converts. We're all in. You're in. So this is where the food stuff came from. Yeah. I have talked about loving Architectural Digest and stuff in the past,
Starting point is 00:15:41 but the way that watching food and cooking videos make me feel is like another level. There is nothing about watching a cooking YouTube channel that doesn't put me in a good mood. I love it. Reading a cookbook, amazing. Looking at a cooking Instagram, it makes me feel some sort of way. I don't know what it is, but if I legitimately sat down and started every day with a cooking video, I would have a great day every day. Why don't you do it? It makes me want to cook more stuff.
Starting point is 00:16:15 Yeah. You know, like it gives you that like. I'm actually a great cook when I'm watching someone else do it. When I'm trying to cook, not so much. Yeah. But when I'm watching Alison Roman, I go, this is a piece of piss. I could do that. She makes it look so easy, you know.
Starting point is 00:16:28 And, oh, she's got everything in the pantry, you know. Wouldn't that be a good idea? No one's ever got everything. Bridget watched the hour-long Thanksgiving special the other day. It's so good, eh? But it's not, well, I guess Thanksgiving is not too far away. But we're not doing anything for Thanksgiving. It's not a thing in Australia.
Starting point is 00:16:44 No. Bridget has stuff to do. She's like, you know what? I will spend an hour watching a YouTube video about Thanksgiving. Yeah, she does a Q&A on her stories every year, and it's like people being like, oh, should I start the stuffing now? Whatever. And she answers all of, like she answers like 100 fucking questions.
Starting point is 00:17:00 And I always watch all of them. So this week's movie choices were, yeah, food movies and we're loving it sick. And so you've decided that you're going to move to France and be a chef. Is that right? I just, I want to cook more. I think it makes me a more wholesome person.
Starting point is 00:17:15 Yeah, I feel that. And just like there's something lovely about getting up, going to the market and buying stuff for one thing. It's fucking expensive. It's fucking expensive. But it's spesh. Yeah. And what was your vibe?
Starting point is 00:17:25 Like did you have a favourite of the Julia and the Julias? I mean Meryl Streep is just incredible, isn't she? I just think the whimsy that she has, like the way that she kind of talks and the way that when all the men are like, oh, you're just a stupid housewife, like is what she says. And then like when she goes home and cuts all the onions and Stanley Tucky walks in and he's like, oh, God, and he's, like, crying and she's like, I have to practice kind of thing.
Starting point is 00:17:51 And she's so competitive and she's like, I'm going to show them. And then the next day she beats them all. And so I really liked her until at the end she turns out to be a bit of a Carla Conti, doesn't she? Does she? Well, so, I mean, she finds out about Julie, who is attempting to cook all of her recipes from one of her book in a year.
Starting point is 00:18:12 Yep. And she writes a blog about it and the blog gains all this traction and she gets famous and people want her to write a book and stuff. Yep. And she, Julia Child, makes a statement and he's like, I found that really disrespectful. She doesn't like respect the art or, you know, this is just a stunt. And that like kind of really upset me.
Starting point is 00:18:32 I was like, oh, surely you would be happy that someone was so into you that. It's like a compliment. It's one of the great compliments. Yeah. I don't know. But like. There was a part of. So here's what I didn't quite get.
Starting point is 00:18:47 Okay. Is that we don't exactly know that Julia Childs said that. Julia Childs. Like it was like the interpretation. It was like Chinese whispers. And because I remember the scene where Julie is telling her husband. Yeah. Oh, she hates the blog. And he goes, oh, so she read it. telling her husband, oh, she hates the blog.
Starting point is 00:19:05 And he goes, oh, so she read it. And she goes, oh, well, no, but. Well, so when the reporter calls and he says, oh, so Julie isn't happy about that, like she's made these comments, whatever. So I Googled it and that is what happened. Really? Yeah, that she wasn't happy about it. She found it really disrespectful.
Starting point is 00:19:22 Because I was like, surely that didn't happen. But, yeah, apparently, yeah. And, like, obviously if you've worked your whole life for something and someone's going, oh, I'll blast through this in a year, I can understand how that would be, like, taken if you were really and, you know, she's an older woman. Maybe she was like, oh, you know, I'm a bit more traditional than that. But she's not, like, copying her and putting out the same book.
Starting point is 00:19:43 No. She's like this is a. She's honouring her thing and watching her videos and wearing pearls because it makes her feel connected to her and stuff. So I watch a lot of, we were talking about this before, like YouTube tutorials. Yeah. So imagine if I watch Peter McKinnon for people in the like photography
Starting point is 00:19:57 video world who does a lot of great videos like here's some top tips for taking photos and blah, blah. Yeah. Imagine if I go, oh, I watched Peter McKinnon's YouTube tutorial. He taught me all these cool things to film. So I went and did it, have a look at my results. And he goes, what the fuck? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:11 Who do you think you are? Well, can you imagine? Isn't this the point of this? You wanted to teach American women how to cook French food. Exactly. And that's why I'm like, imagine if we put out something and then people went, oh, yeah, I like took inspo from you. And we went, oh, well, don't.
Starting point is 00:20:24 I recommended the movie Nobody and you watched it? Who the fuck do you think you are? What the fuck? Like... Shout out to Bob Odenkirk. Odenkirk? That's, yeah. Bob Odenkirk?
Starting point is 00:20:33 Okay, well, this feels like the wrong time to say this, though. But I really liked her, but I understand how, you know... I liked her and Stanley Tucky's relationship. Oh. Have you seen a more, like, fun and supportive and in love fucking couple? And let me look at the camera when I say this, that the only thing more delicious than Stanley Tucky is Stanley Tucky with a moustache.
Starting point is 00:20:58 You know I'm a sucker for a moustache. You know that. Well, I just love him. He's such a great guy. Because he just seems like such a great guy. You know he's got a book out and it's called, it's a cookbook. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I just love him. He's such a great guy. Because he just seems like such a great, you know, he's got a book out and it's called, it's a cookbook. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:09 Maybe I'll buy that. Maybe we should do the Stanley Tucky. So we should Julie and Julia Stanley Tucky. And what, I mean, the crossover, because I'm like, he knows the story. Yeah. He's in the movie. That's a great idea.
Starting point is 00:21:24 That is a great idea. Actually, before we commit, let's find out how many recipes are in his book. Yeah, that's a great call. And how thick the book is. Yeah, because we've got jobs. And the technical degree of difficulty. Yes, yeah. But if it's a picture book with four recipes.
Starting point is 00:21:39 Then easy. Page one, cheese on toast. Fucking. Can do. Yeah. Knock it out in a year. Mate, give us a date. We'll do that. All right, before we get to the wrap, there was one quote, and it had Fucking. Can do. Yeah. Knock it out in a year. Mate, give us a date. We'll do that.
Starting point is 00:21:45 All right. Before we get to the wrap, there was one quote and it had nothing to do with the story. It was like a passing comment. But I just thought this was the greatest sentence ever said and the greatest realisation because the movie is a lot about joy and loving things and beautiful food. It's when they've obviously just moved to France because Stanley Tucky's like a diplomat or whatever. And she's eating and she did the fact that even when they're obviously just moved to France because Stanley Tuck is like a diplomat or whatever.
Starting point is 00:22:06 And she's eating. And the fact that even when they're at a restaurant, they just like will take a moment to go, oh, this is a great dish. Taste this. It's beautiful. Like, you know, smell the roses. And they're sitting there and they've got a martini and they've got wine and they've got water and they've got a ciggy. And I just love that like everything seems like an event. I want more things in my life to feel like an event.
Starting point is 00:22:34 Everything just seems like so purposeful. So then she has a bit of this lunch with the martini and the cig and just goes, oh, how good is this? French people eat French food every day. And it's like, well, of course they do. Yeah. They're from France. But it's like for an American, like French restaurants, like a once a year fancy thing.
Starting point is 00:22:53 Oh, yeah. And she goes, French people eat French food every day. This is how they live. Yeah. And it's just like, well, of course they do. But of like, what a beautiful thing to think about. Yeah. When we dream of going to Paris, these motherfuckers live here.
Starting point is 00:23:07 They're doing it. Oh, my God. We're moving to Paris. Next week, Paris movies. Midnight in Paris. What's that one with Owen Wilson? Is that Midnight in Paris? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:23:20 What's the one with the Royale with Cheese? Oh, no. That's John Travolta. That's Pulp Fiction. That's not a French movie. No, but there's another one that the Royale with cheese? Oh. No. That's John Travolta. That's Pulp Fiction. That's not a French movie. No, but there's another one that he says that line in. Oh, does he? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:29 Oh. Well, anyway, there's that one. There's the Owen Wilson one. French movies. French movies. Every time I see a French movie, I'm like, we're moving to France. I'm just obsessed. I have one more thing to say.
Starting point is 00:23:38 Please. Which you'll love. Please. Before the wrap. Just start the fucking blog. Yes. Yes. Yep. You've been thinking about it.
Starting point is 00:23:48 And I know that at least 99% of the people that are listening to this right now are going, oh, I'd love to do that. Oh, wouldn't that be great? Yeah. Oh, I love when people do that. How special. Wish I could do that. You fucking can.
Starting point is 00:24:03 And you fucking should. Yeah. I wanted to be funny and get paid for it. Yep. And fucking look at me. Hilarious. Hilarious. Start the fucking blog.
Starting point is 00:24:17 Start the podcast. Do the thing. Shout out to my mate Beck, who at age 35 went, I'm going to put out a pop synth record. Yep. And guess what's playing in our office right now? The fucking vinyl of Beck's. She DM'd me last night and said, thank you so much for buying it.
Starting point is 00:24:31 I can't believe I didn't do this 15 years ago. You know what I did? I just did it. And you know when you look at something and you go, oh, that's going to take a year. You know what? The year's going to pass anyway. Yeah. So you might as well get to the end of the year and have done the thing.
Starting point is 00:24:43 Well, if you keep thinking about this for the next 11 months, you would have already almost finished it. Yeah, and you'd go, God, wasn't that a great 11 months? Yeah, in 11 months you'd go, fuck, it'll take a year if I did that. Could have already been the year that was already passed. And get cracking, son. But I reckon just fucking do it. Do the fucking vlog. Just fucking do it.
Starting point is 00:25:00 Just move to France. Podcast is over. No, could we do the podcast in France if we both went? Siesta every day. I thought that was a Spanish thing. I think that's the same. Yeah, because in the movie they have a siesta, but they're not doing much sleeping during the day.
Starting point is 00:25:16 I think they might be getting a sexesta. Could you imagine how unproductive we were? I mean, anyway, but if you and me just like every lunchtime had a few wines with lunch. Do you remember when we went to that big meeting? Yeah. And we went to Sydney and we were talking to all the Spotify bosses. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:32 And they said, we'll take you out for a lovely lunch. And we went, yeah, okay. And then, you know, a couple of bottles of wine later, they're all like, yep, let's get back into it. And I'm like, fuck, I don't think I can do anything else. And we had this meeting and literally my eyes are like not even pointing in the same direction. And they're like, cool, so how do you feel about that? And I'm like, yeah, cool.
Starting point is 00:25:49 Can I go to bed? When we say a cup of bottles, like we had a glass of red. Was it a glass? Yeah, but we were just. I thought it was a lot more than that. Well, it's like we weren't drunk. We were just like done. No, it just put me down.
Starting point is 00:26:01 Yeah, no, it wasn't like wasted. I was just like, fuck, that's me done. So what do you want to do here, mate? You can do whatever the fuck you want. How far from the hotel are we? I'm just going to go have a sleep for 15 years. Does anyone's office have a couch in it? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:12 I could just jump in there for 10 minutes. Fucking hell. Start the fucking blog. Go out and take the photos. Go for the run. Cook the food. Sing the song, whatever it fucking is. Go and fucking do it.
Starting point is 00:26:26 Fuck yeah. Yeah. I love that. Do you want to hear my shit rap? Yeah. Here we go. Julie. Julie and Julia.
Starting point is 00:26:34 Julia. 2022. Let's go to France. Julie and Julia warming our hearts. This made me want to move to France. Nothing could be better than butter, you know. Cooking like a dog, writing her blog. Julia Child seems like a lovely auntie.
Starting point is 00:26:49 She turns out to be a Carla Conti. Some people don't give a fuck, but Julie still had to bone a duck. Yeah. Pretty good. Great film, though. And as we said, Julie sadly passed away the other day. So if there's ever a great time to watch it, maybe chuck it on this week. That's a great point.
Starting point is 00:27:13 Yeah, I agree. It's a fantastic movie. I cried at the end. I cry all the time, though, so maybe it's not a good judge. Hang on. And I'm not, like, saying this to be a dick, and I'm not saying it's always, like, a sad thing, but how many times a week would you cry?
Starting point is 00:27:31 Not, like, day to day, but, like, I cry really easily when I'm, like, watching or reading something. Right. Like, so if something's just, like, really gorgeous or someone takes a leap of faith or, like, something nice happens in a TV show or whatever, like it gets me straight away. When I ask about your dog Pippa, sometimes a few little tears. Because I just love her so much and I just think about how lucky I am.
Starting point is 00:27:54 Yeah. I feel that way about Torbs too. Yeah. Do you cry about Torbs regularly though? It depends. Yeah. But whenever I cry about Torbs, it's like in a nice way. It's never like, oh, fucking Torbz.
Starting point is 00:28:05 It's like, oh, I love him. I would say that if I've watched something on TV, I'd say that every few things that I watch on TV like makes me cry. Or sometimes I just feel really proud of people. Like when I watched Zoe Foster Blake's Vogue Living, I cried because I was like, this is just beautiful and she seems so happy. And it's not like I'm sobbing. It's just like, oh, how lovely, you know.
Starting point is 00:28:28 So how many times a week would you just? I wouldn't say like it's more than once a week and that would be like the max. Right, okay. I'm not like fucking bawling all the time. Three times a day. No. Oh, absolutely not. Oh, Pippa sneezed.
Starting point is 00:28:44 Oh, no. Oh, Zoe Blake's got a beautiful kitchen bench. How good's that kitchen bench? Can't recall. Let's do what you love to see. It's Tarpon Nadine. Hi, Nadine. Tarpon Nadine says, I never grew up athletic and was never picked for sports teams.
Starting point is 00:29:01 Oh, I feel you now, Nadine. Yep. But after moving to a new city and having no social circle, I decided to join a gym because, like, what else are you going to do? Awesome. And they had, like, barbell beginner classes on, like, how to, like, properly lift weights for beginners. Oh, yep.
Starting point is 00:29:14 So she started doing that, fell in love with it, and then they had, like, an Olympic weightlifting class. Cool. And obviously you start with lower weights and you build up and stuff. But she's like, I just, once I started, I got into it and I was feeling confident and strong and I'd never, ever experienced that before in my life. So she, Tarpen Nadine, has now competed in a competition.
Starting point is 00:29:33 Oh, my God. Awesome. Awesome. There is a photo that I'll put in the episode thread. She said, sorry, Ryan John, I did have to actually strap my wrists for this. Was she playing volleyball? I thought she was doing weightlifting.
Starting point is 00:29:45 Wow. Debatable. Maybe she had volleyball? I thought she was doing weightlifting. Wow. Debatable. Maybe she had a volleyball competition later in the day. Afterwards, yeah. When you're doing weightlifting at two, but you got volleyball at three. She said, anyway, I'm so proud for pushing past my comfort zone and competing in a sport and having so much fun. Start the fucking blog.
Starting point is 00:30:02 Start the fucking blog. Join the fucking gym. P.S. Tarpers would be proud of my clean snatch and how good I am at jerking. Oh, things you can say while weightlifting and also fucking Nadine. Nice. I like that. To continue on the thread.
Starting point is 00:30:18 No, this is actually not heartwarming at all. There is a show at the moment in Britain and the documentary is called My Massive Cock. I haven't had a call. You're a massive dick. You don't have a massive cock. Sorry, I've misread that. It's kind
Starting point is 00:30:38 of gone viral across the loud Bible and stuff because people are sharing it. British viewers left gobsmacked as new program shows 10.5 inch penis. Jesus Christ. It's intimidating, isn't it? Right? And it literally says like the show's called My Massive Cock, but people couldn't believe
Starting point is 00:30:57 what they were seeing. Yeah. Is that like flaccid? I don't, I haven't seen it. I could get some, I'll do some recompile if you want. For that amount of meat, you could get four rinds. Fucking hell. Anyway.
Starting point is 00:31:11 Or half a torbs. Sorry, I've become a child. I have become a child. Well, the top comment on this is from a girl called Kimberly. Oh, Kimberly. And her comment is, where can one watch this documentary? Just an instant little comment.
Starting point is 00:31:31 Yeah, and it's gone, and everybody's, like, all the replies are like, oh, just asking for a friend. Man, I'm with Kimberly. I want to see this thing. Roll it out. But it just fucking, like, made me laugh so much at the top comment of. Someone being like, oh, extra research reasons.
Starting point is 00:31:48 Where could I find that one? I like to do my own research, actually. I don't trust Ladbible for my students. Do you know what area these guys are from? Or, fuck, I just fucking lost it. I thought it was so funny. You love to
Starting point is 00:32:04 see that. You love to see that. You love to see that. You love to see that. Yeah. You love to see that. You love to see big dicks. Yeah, you do. Yeah, you do. You would.
Starting point is 00:32:11 You do. Hey, tomorrow I'm punching on with an 80-year-old lady. Yeah. And also things you can say in the bedroom and also while moving house. Yeah. Look at this box. All right. Is that for the kitchen?
Starting point is 00:32:25 All right, we'll see you tomorrow. Love you, bye.

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