Toni and Ryan - Mortadella? I hardly know her!

Episode Date: June 6, 2022

The best things you can say at the Deli and also in the bedroom! And Ryan made a cock of himself. Love ya! Toni xx Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook... Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hello? Hi, is that Claire from Claire-nada? Yeah. Hi. I'm so excited. Oh, my God, we're excited too. It's Tony and Ryan's here as well. Will you approve this episode?
Starting point is 00:00:21 Oh, okay, hi. I definitely approve this episode. This is a surprise to my best friend, and it's been so hard to keep this secret from her. Is she with you? Yeah. It's my husband. He's being a dumber.
Starting point is 00:00:34 Who's the friend? What's their name? What? Sebastian. Put Sebastian on. Hang on. Here you go. Hello? We approve this podcast. We want to take Manitoba. Hang on, hang on. Here you go.
Starting point is 00:00:45 Hello? We approve the podcast. We're going to take Manitoba. Sebastian, how the fuck are you? I'm pretty fucking good, mate. The Australian accent, I liked that. I was like, who's the crazy person yelling in the background? But we like him, okay.
Starting point is 00:01:01 That's good. That's my husband. Hi, it's Claire. I'm Aussie living in Canada and I approve this podcast. Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. We are close personal friends, Tony and Ryan. Close personal friends? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:01:28 Not best friends? I see how it is. Well, no, because yesterday you said one thing at a time after you gifted me some very gorgeous Lord tickets. I'm very, very excited to go. Well, if you could tell yourself that you are appreciative of our friendship instead of judging it, that would be great. No, I am. So I'm glad.
Starting point is 00:01:43 Close personal friends. I'm happy with that. We've taken a real step. Would I be your maid of honour? No. Why not? Who would be? Who's better than me?
Starting point is 00:01:55 Are we having this conversation? Because I would love to organise the hen's night. I don't think I would. I'm not a penis straw girl. No. No. But don't worry. I've got plans.
Starting point is 00:02:10 Well, you can talk to the other girls that I would have. Who would they be? Name names. Put you on the bump for a Tuesday morning. Question without notice. No, no, no, no. This is okay. Okay.
Starting point is 00:02:25 So my, I've got like three really close girlfriends. Question without notice. No, no, no, no. This is okay. So I've got like three really close girlfriends. Yep. Lane, as in Jag and Lane from New Zealand. Yep. Jane, whose family I went to for Christmas. Lane, Jane and Ryan. Close though. Hey, I'm going to share something with you that was really embarrassing
Starting point is 00:02:43 that happened to me the other day. What? Did you ask someone if you could be their maid of honour and they said no? Yeah, it was the girl at the mini golf course. You just asked anyone. Yeah. I was like, yeah, I'm here to play mini golf, booking for Ryan. She's like, yeah, I've got it here.
Starting point is 00:02:57 Can I be your maid of honour? Did you need a maid of honour? Because I'm free most Saturday nights. I want to know what you and people listening to this podcast would have done in this awkward situation. Oh, God. And this wasn't my fault. Before that, we are going to talk about things that you can say
Starting point is 00:03:15 at the deli, like at the deli counter of a Coles or a Woolworths and also in the bedroom. Do you have an unfair advantage in this because you are a former deli worker? I'm a deli girl, yep. Also, can I note that a few tarpers actually said, I work in a deli and I've been waiting for this and someone's about to
Starting point is 00:03:31 start working in a deli and I was like, take notes mate. They're going to love it. I loved working in the deli. It was so much fun. But this wasn't actually my idea. A Jared B. Harris from the Facebook group popped this in. Thanks, Jaz. Love that. So this is... Oh no, Love that. So this is. Oh, no, you go.
Starting point is 00:03:48 So this is the. Oh, I thought you were going to do like a joke like for too long. Yeah. Okay. So this is. So these are things you can say in the deli and also in the bedroom. Did you want this shaved? Yes, thanks.
Starting point is 00:04:09 Freshly this morning, if that's an option. Yep. That's fine. Who ordered the chipolata? That's funny because I was going to say this sausage is massive. Do you know in South African culture, they'll like curl it up. Borvos. I will say, though, it is hard to curl up a chip of butter.
Starting point is 00:04:39 Mortadella, I hardly know. Adela, I hardly know her. I saw. I think I saw someone in the group and I was like. Really? Yeah. So after last week we were talking about the Ford Explorer and I said, Ford Explorer, I hardly know her. And everybody laughed and I thought, I can't let this go.
Starting point is 00:05:02 No, please. This opportunity. Yeah, I saw that and I was like, that's Tony's. Did you want me to wrap this up before I stick it in your trolley? It's gone straight in my basket. Oh, fucking hell. I've been waiting in line for ages. How long till it's my turn?
Starting point is 00:05:25 A lot of people here today. I might just grab a ticket and wait for everyone else to finish up. Okay. Well, this is for when you're waiting for your ticket number to get called. Yeah. 69. Who wanted the 69? Fuck.
Starting point is 00:05:43 Let me hear it. Hey, Tony. Hey. Not only am I pleased to meet you, but I've got the meat to please you. Okay. Okay. That was sexy. Please refer back to the Chipolata joke.
Starting point is 00:06:03 Are you sure you're married? No ring on there. Lost my ring in a dally. You can see my ring, though. Oh, you weren't supposed to slice it. That's painful. Yes. And it took me back to when people were messaging last week about the,
Starting point is 00:06:24 remember they've had a few grooming injuries? That's painful. Yes. And it took me back to when people were messaging last week about the, remember they've had a few grooming injuries? Cut your clit clean off. Speaking of which, do you prefer cut or uncut? Did you have a preference, ma'am? Sorry, sir. Patrons aren't allowed to cook anything in my oven. Not these buns?
Starting point is 00:06:49 Take your buns out of my oven, sir. If you're not sure if you want the whole thing, I can just give you a little taste. I love getting a little taste before you buy it. We've got to know what you're in for. Try it before you buy it. Is that actually a thing? You worked in the deli.
Starting point is 00:07:06 The people come in and go, can I just try that? Yep. And that's totally fine and normal? Yep. Okay, because I saw Dad do it once and he was like, can I just get one of those sun-dried tomatoes? And he just like woofed it down and I was like, is this? Is it a fucking pick and mix so you can just get whatever you want? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:19 Maybe it was the size of the sun-dried tomato or the way he just hoffed it down his face. But I was like, this doesn't feel right. It would depend for me. It's like a steak. Can I just try that? Because people would like, oh, this is really fucking up. They'd take the piss? Yeah. Or they'd come in and they'd have like their kids with them and they'd go, oh,
Starting point is 00:07:35 and can I get 250 grams of bologna and a couple of slices for the kids? And I'm like, well, I'm not just going to give you a heap of stuff. Like, that's so weird. So I would weigh up and they would hate this. I'd weigh up 250 grams.
Starting point is 00:07:52 Put the sticker on it. And then I'd weigh up the 250 grams, print the sticker so it was the right price and then I'd offer them the stack and say, here you go, you can take some pieces off. I'd never just give it to them for free. Yeah, no, that's theft. Yeah, it is. And then they would be like, oh, can the kids try a Twiggy Stick? You fucking kids know what a Twiggy Stick tastes like.
Starting point is 00:08:08 They can for $2.90. Yep. If you're buying some, yeah, I'll pop them on. How many would you like? Yeah. But, yeah, so I used to do it so that. Yeah, that would fuck me off. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:17 Yeah. And because I just love to bear bitch. You would. That's what I would do. There's nothing. Too much power. There's nothing more that a deli bitch at Coles
Starting point is 00:08:26 loves more than a power trip. Yep. And that's exactly what I would do. I'm not getting power at home. Yep. I'm not getting power with the upper management of Coles, but you know who I'm getting power from? Jenny and her two fucking ugly kids. Yep. And her six cents worth of polonie that I won't give her for free. And I'll
Starting point is 00:08:43 stand by that. You pay for your bologna. I stand by that. Yeah. If I worked in the deli again, do the same thing. Anyway, this is the thing she can say. Oh, I love it when it's thick. Sorry. That I can't provide that for you.
Starting point is 00:09:05 Big night last night. Who was he? What's his name? We've gone different directions, I feel. Have we? Gone? I'm in the same. I thought you meant the dick.
Starting point is 00:09:19 Nah. I get what you're saying. And, you know, like after you've had a big night and it's... And it's... And it's... It's not great. You know, like how if you've been eating not that well or you've been drinking heaps or... Yep.
Starting point is 00:09:34 Yep. Okay, yeah. How much can I get for $3.50? All of it. I'm basically polonie. Platoni. That's very funny. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:09:53 This is for when you're buying a hot chicken. I thought next week was hot chicken in the bedroom. Oh, I love it when the legs are open. Oh, does that come pre-stuffed who stuffed that i can what's his name yeah hi um i'd love to get my hands on both the breasts and some of the thigh thanks that's good is that still count as deli or am I heading in butcher territory? No, no, no, because in the deli that I worked in, it was fresh chicken as well. Yeah, thank you.
Starting point is 00:10:31 Yeah. Some of those little chicken niblets, you know, the ones with the sauce on them? Yeah. Fuck me up. They're so good. They're great. Oh, fuck, they're so good.
Starting point is 00:10:39 So this one is because I worked in the deli when I was at uni. Yeah. Oh, I haven't shaved like that since I was at uni. I just let it go now. Not awake at your house? Except for... Yeah, yeah. What a great spread.
Starting point is 00:11:06 You can do this yourself, but I prefer to buy it. You do a spread at home by yourself? I prefer Tony down at Coles. Pretty well priced. She does the best spread I know, and you can't beat the price. You're right. Best spread you know. That's actually really sweet. You're welcome. I hope that's in your v beat the price. You're right. This pretty night. That's actually really sweet.
Starting point is 00:11:25 You're welcome. I hope that's in your vows one day. My what? Your vows. Yeah. What? No, don't fucking. Sorry.
Starting point is 00:11:34 What did? Vows. What did I say? Is what you said the first time. Then you said vows. So when you get married. Yeah. You swap vows.
Starting point is 00:11:41 Vows. Yeah. Vows. Yeah. Yep. Vows. Vows. Vows. Vows. What theels. Yeah. Yep. Vowels. Vowels. Vowels.
Starting point is 00:11:46 Vowels. What the fuck are you talking about? You're saying vowels, which is like A-E-I-O-U. Yeah. And vowels. I thought you would have spelled it V-O-W-E-L-S. That is vowels. That's like A-E-I-O-U.
Starting point is 00:12:00 No, it's V-O-W-E-L-S. That is the one for like if you were going on Wheel of Fortune. Yeah. But Vows, like you say your Vows. Yeah. V-O-W-S. I thought it was A-B-C-A-E-I-O-U. No, that's Vows.
Starting point is 00:12:18 I fucking hate our language. Next podcast is in Spanish. Oh, see. Olé. Olé. Hi. Yeah, having a few of the girls around tonight. How much pork saw do I need to satisfy five of them? A lot.
Starting point is 00:12:40 We'll take all of it. Yeah. Wrap it up. Hi, it's Claire. I'm an Aussie living in Canada. You're listening to Tony and Ryan. Thank you to everyone who's a champion tarpa and supporting the Tony and Ryan podcast.
Starting point is 00:13:07 Not only is your Tony and Ryan slash Frank Green water bottle on the way. Yes. You will also soonish receive your personalised video because after today's show, Tony and I have 1,300 to record. Yeah, they're not all going to get done today. No. But they're going to start trickling through. They are.
Starting point is 00:13:26 I think people have started getting them. Yep. They're on their way. They are on their way. And also the champion tapas would have gotten a little email from us last week just ensuring that we know where their information is going to go for the water bottles. The international shipping.
Starting point is 00:13:44 Thank you for the feedback on the email too. Yep. There was a lot of controversy. There was a lot of praise and a lot of criticism of my email. But a few people messaged and said, I got the first email but not the second email with the information to how to buy it. That is coming in probably four weeks or so because we actually cleaned Frank Green out.
Starting point is 00:14:05 Yeah, they're out of bottles. And bought all their bottles. Cheers. But so they're out of bottles, so we're waiting for them to get made. So if you haven't got the second email, I just figured the podcast was the easiest way to reach everyone at once. Go for it. Yeah, just a PSA.
Starting point is 00:14:19 Just letting you know that that second email is coming, so don't stress. You sound like the angry auntie at a 21st trying to let the crowd know about the speeches. Yeah. Just a bit of hush, guys. We're going to have Dad come out and you're going to show him a bit of respect and then we're going to have a talk and then we'll get to the cake, all right?
Starting point is 00:14:34 And then we'll put your bloody music back on. Do you understand? We're going to have Dad come out. That's very funny from you. Or, like, when you're trying to organise, like, fun at a party, you're like, all right, we've got the gap. We've got the game. We're going to do the game.
Starting point is 00:14:49 Like that. Have you seen the clip? It does the rounds often on like TikTok and Reels of Family Guy when Lois and Peter are playing golf. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're having fun. Why do you keep hitting it in the water?
Starting point is 00:15:01 I hit it into the water. Isn't that what you're supposed to do? No. Then why did you do it? Because I'm fucking sucking it. Well, if you suck it, why are we doing it? Because we're having fun. We're having fun.
Starting point is 00:15:08 That's me. I'm trying to organise fun. But a few of the people that are getting the organised fun, and we'll love to receive this message, Pheebs, Josie Sesich-Clark, Megan Geist, Louise Goodliffe, good life, the gym, Alan Berquist, Luke Burns, Floomy, Amy Elizabeth, Carly Goss, and Christophe Mouseliac.
Starting point is 00:15:29 Christophe Mouseliac? Yep. What a name. He's getting a Frank Graham water bottle. Mouselac. Mouselac. One of those. Sorry, Christophe.
Starting point is 00:15:38 Please don't fucking message me and say, oh, I've got my name wrong, because I'm trying. I'm trying. If we found out that Christophe Mouseliac was a magician, you'd believe it, wouldn't you? Oh, and you got my name wrong because I'm trying. I'm trying. If we found out that. Christophe Mousliac. Was a magician, you'd believe it, wouldn't you? Oh, and you love magicians. Yeah, just a real prestige kind of name.
Starting point is 00:15:55 Oh, the cape, like a velvet cape. Yeah, I like that. Velour. Velour cape. Okay. Paris Hilton. That's where I'm at. Love that. Oh, I'm very excited about this because you made a fucking cock of yourself.
Starting point is 00:16:07 And that's just my favourite type of Ryan story. Is when Ryan, who loves to be wrong about nothing. Makes a cock of himself. So on the Instagram. On the. God, you think I'm the fucking auntie trying to create fun? All right. On the Instagram. If you guys are going to take to create fun? All right. On the Instagram.
Starting point is 00:16:25 If you guys are going to take pictures of the speeches and put them on the Instagram. Sorry. Sorry, mate. I already in this story feel so old and that hasn't helped. Why do you feel old? How old are you? I'm 34.
Starting point is 00:16:43 Yeah. Don't look at her. Don't look. Yeah. Don't look at her. Don't look at David, 24. So every now and then I'll do a video, like a sponsored video for a brand. What are you? Every now and then. A sponsored video and you get a little cashola for it. Now.
Starting point is 00:17:03 Good money maker for you, mate. Yeah. Yeah. You're saving to buy a house. S... Good money maker for you, mate. Yeah. Yeah. You're saving to buy a house. Saving to buy... I mean, house prices. Fucking don't get me started. The inflation.
Starting point is 00:17:10 The supply and demand. Supply and demand. Inflation. Liberal government. Thankfully, now we've got Labor government. Supply chain issues globally. Oh, yep. Supply chain.
Starting point is 00:17:20 I went to do a video for Holy Moly, which is like a fun mini golf kind of place. It does look really fun. I've never been. It's open from 10 a.m. to 2 a.m. Yeah. And I will say. There's a shift in the day when it goes from kids having fun to adults having fun.
Starting point is 00:17:38 So we almost went that night. We're at the hotel for Bridget's birthday. Did we? Well, you know how we were drunk in the hotel. I'm like, we could go downstairs and play around in mini golf. Oh, yeah. We didn't quite make it. We didn't do it.
Starting point is 00:17:48 But there is definitely during the day lots of kids and family and like you said, at night a lot of. It's a bit loose. A lot of like young girls will like meet there because there's a bar and karaoke and like let's meet. Yeah, they've got cool cocktails and stuff, eh? Yeah, have a few drinks, play mini golf, ha-ha, and then we'll go out later.
Starting point is 00:18:01 Good place to meet up before you go out and stuff. But. It's also nice on a night out to have, like, an activity. Yeah, it'd be a great first date. And not just sit there and drink or just eat or whatever. Like, it's kind of like, oh, you can do something, keep your hands a bit busy, you know, like it's nice. Great idea for a date actually.
Starting point is 00:18:18 I always think with a date if there's an activity, it takes the awkwardness. Like it gives you something to talk about and it's a bit cute and flirty and whatever. But you can still chat. Yeah. Like what's the worst first date? I was about to say three, two, one.
Starting point is 00:18:30 Both say it at the same time. I fucked it up. Yeah. How about we do it again? I mean, what is the worst first date? Three, two, one. Movies. Worst.
Starting point is 00:18:38 Oh, I can't believe we got the same thing. The guy I used to work with, Jace, when I worked on the Jason Peejo show, he always said that the best first date for him was teppanyaki. I reckon I've heard him talk about this 75 times. Yep. So anybody that. And why a teppanyaki? Because he said it's good to see how they react with the, like,
Starting point is 00:18:57 waiters and the chefs because the chef is sitting right in front of you. What do you mean good to see how they react? So they're ready for his ninja moves when they get back. No, I think he means because, like, you end up chatting or being kind of, like, involved with the other people at your table. Yeah. Because Torbs and I went and did teppanyaki. You remember when we stayed at Crown earlier in the year?
Starting point is 00:19:18 Yeah. Over Easter. Yeah. We went to a teppanyaki place. Was it fun? It was amazing. The food was incredible. Some people find it stressful because there's a sensory overload.
Starting point is 00:19:28 But also it would be an expensive first date. Like it's not cheap. Yeah. Anyway, though, because you're kind of chatting with the other people around your table, you're interacting with the chef. I guess it is a good insight to see like if they're a friendly person or if they're like fuck off.
Starting point is 00:19:43 Yeah, I get that. Yeah. That is a good idea. Yeah, so it's a good date. But yeah, holy moly, great date idea. If you're looking for something, use code RyanJohn10 or fucking whatever it is. I don't think there's a code.
Starting point is 00:19:54 There's not a code for me because they didn't want me. That's actually true. Yeah. They asked for Tony and Ryan. They asked for Tony and Ryan and they came back and said, no, we'll just take Ryan. And then I asked for permission from you. I'm like, I feel bad.
Starting point is 00:20:09 Do you mind if I do it? And you said, no, fucking take their money is what Tony said. But then you spent the money on Lord tickets. Yeah, so jokes on them and me. Holy moly is sending you to Lord. Yeah. Whole Lord, my Lord. So because I'm 34, I did get this vibe of like I'm not in that family section
Starting point is 00:20:26 with the kids but I'm also not in the like young fun before a night. I sort of felt like I'm in the middle of the two categories here and I don't know why but it kind of hit me before I walked in. I'm like, oh, I'm like this is not like married couple. It's first date or kids. Like we're in the middle of that. And what time was it? It was midday.
Starting point is 00:20:43 Oh, so you're there where the other families are there. I think it's okay. It's like a date day. And like we enjoyed it. But we went on a Sunday afternoon and I said, I can only go on Sunday. So if I can't do that, I can't come. Yeah. And apparently because they're doing a campaign,
Starting point is 00:20:58 they had all of these influencers and like young pretty people in during the week together at once. Oh. So for all of them to during the week together at once. Oh. So for all of them to like film their content at the same time. Yeah, but a lot of them are like, like we don't sit in the category of influencer, but there's a lot of like young good-looking people who like take good-looking photos and they're like posing with the golf club and shit. Very aesthetic.
Starting point is 00:21:19 Yeah. Sexy. And so because of their doing this big campaign, I was like lumped in a category with all these like. Just like influencer campaign. Like young hot girls and stuff. Oh. Yeah, like fun boys who like go to clubs and are ripped and shit.
Starting point is 00:21:32 And that probably didn't go at midday with their wife. No. They went late at night, had 16 cocktails and had a great time. Yeah. So I get there and I go, hey, I'm booking for Ryan at midday. Should let me just look that up. I did that sound effect on the phone. Yeah, that's nice.
Starting point is 00:21:50 She goes, oh, hang on. Sorry, sir. There seems to be something wrong with the booking. They hadn't made the booking for you. No, they had. It was there. There was a booking there. So you were booked.
Starting point is 00:22:02 I was booked in, but there was a problem with the booking, according to this lovely lady that worked at the front. She goes, oh, sorry, sir. It's a little bit embarrassing. Oh, my God. There's a note here. They've obviously stuffed it up. It says you're an influencer.
Starting point is 00:22:22 And it says, like, you're here to take some photos and it's, like, free drinks and stuff. So I don't know why it's written as that. I'll have to. Yeah, you're not a hot 20-year-old girl. I'll have to go and check with the manager, something stuffed up. So not only it's awkward enough when you rock up and go, hey, I've got a free booking.
Starting point is 00:22:40 Yeah, because I've got to take some photos and do a video and stuff. That's awkward enough. Yeah. But when she tells you take some photos and do a video and stuff. That's awkward enough. Yeah. But when she tells you. There must be some mistake. You are obviously not one of those people. And then you have to go. Oh, actually.
Starting point is 00:22:58 Oh, my God. I would have curled up and died. I'm glad I wasn't there. Bridget. You know how I was saying last week I had to watch some of the movie from the kitchen? Yep. And, like, sit in the fridge because I was.
Starting point is 00:23:09 The cringe. Yeah. Bridget almost just walked out, not because she was awkward, because she was about to burst out laughing. Because she doesn't see us as together. She just goes, I'm pointing at my husband laughing my ass off while he's trying to explain. Like, oh, you know those hot girls that came the other day?
Starting point is 00:23:27 A bit like that, but a little bit different. Yeah, and then I go, oh, yeah, so the campaign is on and I'm here to do a video. And she goes, they all came in on Thursday. And I was like, yeah. I couldn't come until today. Yeah, so I'm going to film today. And she's like, film? What are you going to do?
Starting point is 00:23:53 Oh. And I'm like, and just like a peek behind the curtain, the amount of emails with like the marketing manager and the this and the lawyer. Like don't do this, but make sure you say this, do this, don't do this. But it's always head office and you always go, have head office had a chat with front of house? They never have.
Starting point is 00:24:11 They never fucking have. And then I'm trying to like, and she's like, oh, can I, are you like an, can I show me your thing? You're like, well, I'm verified. But now it's like I'm trying to prove to this 20-year-old girl. To this fucking girl. That works at fucking holy moly. But then also prove what? That I'm trying to prove to this 20-year-old girl. To this fucking girl. That works at fucking holy moly. But then also prove what?
Starting point is 00:24:28 That I'm just a guy? That I'm just another person that like film shit and wants to put it on the thing. And then she goes, okay, I guess. And goes, it says you get drinks. Do you want it? Well, yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:44 After this ordeal? Yeah. I fucking need it. So she's a fan of the podcast. She's getting her water bottles on its way. The worst bit is she like then tells the girl. Oh, fucking hell. And everybody's going, that guy out there,
Starting point is 00:25:00 he's here for that Instagram thing. Why didn't he come on Thursday? Oh, well, he said he was busy. So word gets around behind the bar and the manager comes out. Oh, Karen. Actually, do you want me to just give a performance and then I won't fucking carry on about this anymore? Karen on.
Starting point is 00:25:19 I won't carry on because, and I want to say this, it actually was a fun time besides this little ordeal at the front counter. I didn't miss those free cocktails, if you know what I'm not just saying this, it actually was a fun time besides this little ordeal at the front counter. I didn't miss those free cocktails, if you know what I'm saying. I had a great Sunday. Yeah. So this is what happens when she walks out. Still, because there's no hot girl, probably didn't realise that the person they were talking about was me
Starting point is 00:25:34 standing right in front of them. Yeah, they're like, oh, sorry, is your wife coming back, sir? Is that who we're dealing with? This is the manager walking out. Oh, g'day. So who's this guy say he is? No. How degrading.
Starting point is 00:25:55 I'm here for the campaign. I'm here for the influencer. I'm campaign. Shot a terrible round. Five over par. But, I mean, you know what, mate? Joke's on them. We got some Lord tickets out of it.
Starting point is 00:26:04 Who cares? And a free cocktail. You know what, mate? Joke's on them. We got some Lord tickets out of it. Who cares? And a free cocktail. You know what I call that? It's a hole in my... My love to see it today was that last week I went out for dinner with your wife. Oh, I was going to mention this. Which was so much fun.
Starting point is 00:26:22 We drank a bottle of wine. We had lots of delish food. We both got dressed up. It was so much fun. So when you and of wine. We had lots of delish food. We both got dressed up. It was so much fun. So when you and my wife, Bridget, went and got drunk together, was it Saturday or Sunday? What day was it? It was Wednesday.
Starting point is 00:26:35 Wednesday? Midweek? And what time of night was it? We met at four when the bar opened. During the day? Yeah. Well, hang on. Bridget and I both start work early and finish work early.
Starting point is 00:26:46 Yeah. And, yeah, we met up at 4 o'clock. As they opened, we're like little puppies scratching at the door. Are you guys open? Can we get a fucking wine? Can you fucking get us a bottle of wine, please? But we had the best time. But my actual love to see it is that at the end of the night,
Starting point is 00:27:04 Bridget rang you. I was paying. Bridget rang you and was like, Ryan, can you come and pick up your wives, please? And you came and got us and you dropped me off. And I've never had that before because my boyfriend can't drive. Yeah. So it was like I was living, I was like,
Starting point is 00:27:20 it's like my boyfriend can drive. It's very cool. I think Bridget said, what's the point of having a partner if they can't come and pick you up drunk? Yeah. Well, I wouldn't know. Well, I've had a taste of the good life now, so people with their licence inquire within.
Starting point is 00:27:34 Can I just say? Yeah. I get this drunken phone call from, as Bridget described, she goes, your wife and your work wife need picking up. We've had a big night and we can't drive home. And it was like 7pm. So the chat was like a 2am phone call. Hey, are you still awake?
Starting point is 00:27:51 Can you come and get me? Tony needs a lift. It's too dark for a lady to walk home. And can you get us a kebab on the way as well? Can you get us some maccas? Oh, jeez. It was 6.55pm. Yep.
Starting point is 00:28:03 By the time I came and got you and dropped you off, it was 10 past 7. We're nothing if not efficient. We get in, we get out, we have fun, we go to sleep early. And I think that's fine. I hope they're not keeping the bar staff here. Dinner starts in an hour. Yeah, they were like, we asked them, we were like, are you guys staying open for us?
Starting point is 00:28:20 They were like, we've got dinner reservations at 8. Like, people aren't even here yet. You'll have to see day drinking on a weekday and a massive night ending at 6.30pm. So fun. Tony and Bridget. My love to see it. Oh, this is beautiful. Actually, I don't know if it's beautiful or really fucking weird.
Starting point is 00:28:40 Okay. You decide. Actually, let me pause this for a second because we need to get serious. Okay. This lady named Regan shared a story about her grandparents. Okay. You decide. Actually, let me pause this for a second because we need to get serious. Okay. This lady named Regan shared a story about her grandparents. Yeah. In their late 60s, they got divorced. They had a great run.
Starting point is 00:28:54 They got to the end of their run. Oh, wow. 60 years, got divorced. And then they were old and lonely and sad. Definitely. Both of them didn't, I don't know. They didn't remarry. Yeah, no.
Starting point is 00:29:05 Weren't real happy. And this is not a joke, by the way. It sounds like a joke because it's that ridiculous. They both got Alzheimer's and forgot they were divorced and also forgot whatever it was that fucked them off to make them want to get divorced. So now they're just like together and happy. And that's the story of Regan's grandparents.
Starting point is 00:29:28 So she shared this video and she's like, these two guys have, and they're like having the time of their life together. And she's like, they don't know that they divorced each other like 15 years ago. Is that how you love to see it? Because it's kind of cute, but it's sort of weird, right? I mean, it's nice that they're, yeah, like not lonely anymore and they've got some company.
Starting point is 00:29:44 They're living their best life in their older age. They're happy and no harm, no foul. Wow. Yeah, I get what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. That saying has no bearing on that story. I just said that.
Starting point is 00:29:59 Let's just add random sayings to the industry. When in Rome, you know, yeah, what goes around comes around. I mean, one in the hands, wear two in the bush. Yeah, looks like duck, quacks like duck, guess it's a duck, you know? And I've always said that. I mean, them getting back together, squeaky wheel gets the oil. Glass half full, you know?
Starting point is 00:30:23 Love that. Don't ask, don't get. Yeah, yeah, and I've always said that. Actions speak louder than words. Love ya.

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