Toni and Ryan - Multiple On The Go
Episode Date: August 3, 2023Toni goes ABROAD! Love u! xoxoxo [USED TO BE VIDEO EPISODE BUT NOT ANYMORE LOL TECHNICAL CHAT]Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #To...niAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. I'm the vice captain of the ship.
Tony is our captain. She's a doctor. She's a bestselling author.
And she's...
I don't like this. It makes me feel like I've told you what to say.
And I haven't. You can close the script.
Then I'll bring up that I don't know what's happening and you just go,
no, no, all good. No, all good. We're calling Jordan in Wollongong and let's give him a buzz.
Jordan in the gong.
Is that where Franco lives?
Hello, Jordan speaking. Hi, Jordan speaking.
It's Tony and Ryan speaking.
Hi, how are you?
We're good. Jordan, you may remember
me as the person we spoke on the phone two weeks
ago and I said, yeah, I'll call you tomorrow and then didn't. Good. Jordan, you may remember me as the person we spoke on the phone two weeks ago and I said, yeah, I'll call you tomorrow and then didn't.
Yes.
Yes. That does sound like Ryan. He does
that to me as well, Jordan, but I wouldn't take it personally.
But Jordan, will you approve this podcast?
Oh, you absolutely
bet I will. Yeah, fuck yeah.
Hey, it's Jordan from
Wollongong and I approve this podcast.
Alright, coming up today, a Tony Lodge
international travel lady.
And I want to know the last time
that you had a really good moment of,
well, it's not like it used to be.
Yeah, because Fancy International Travel Lady is really Karen Duff at the airline.
So that's on the way.
Also, today is a video show, which means you can watch it as well as listen to it.
It's in the Spotify app and on your smart TV.
So go check that out.
But first, this is going to impact a tarpa's marriage.
Earlier this week, we had a confession from a lady who said she loves to fuck off her
partner by messing with his, like, continue watching section on Netflix.
Do you remember that?
Oh, that's right.
Yeah, yeah.
And, like, fuck up the algorithm, because then it says, oh, if you liked this, you'll
probably, like, recommend recommended for Tony or whatever.
And it was her like subtle way of like getting back at him
and annoying him.
That is annoying.
Another tarpa.
Are we going to leave their name out?
I think for this one specifically,
use your best judgment on whether we should leave them anonymous or not.
Let's call them Shmish.
How you answer this will impact my marriage, says smish.
My wife and I like to chill and watch TV series together.
It's a little us TV time, you know, and I think that's pretty normal.
You know, you watch a show with your partner and stuff
and it's like a little cute time.
Yeah.
However, sometimes I don't feel like watching a whole TV series consecutively.
Oh, yep. I just need to like watching a whole TV series consecutively. Oh, yep.
I just need to, like, break it up a little bit.
So I'll, like, start watching another TV series or another movie.
I agree with that because when we binge something,
I get over it really quickly.
Whereas, like, you know when you have to watch something week to week
or maybe two episodes come out at a time,
I feel like you enjoy it more because you know you've only got like one to watch.
Yeah.
So I don't get into many shows, but I got into Survivor
and that gets sort of drip fed.
It's like two or three a week.
Hunted's two or three a week or something.
Yeah.
And I find like I pay attention.
Whereas when we're binging something, if I kind of start to lose interest
and I'm like on my phone or whatever, then I'm like,
I've wasted enjoying that show.
Shmish says, I'm currently mid-season of 12 TV shows
and about halfway through six movies.
My wife can't stand it.
Do you have multiple programs on the go and how many gets to a point
where you're just like you're all over the place and you're lost?
So my boyfriend Torbs and I will always have one on the go together
or something that we're watching together, whether it's like-
What is it at the moment?
We're watching Fresh Off the Boat.
We just started watching it.
It's really good.
It's so funny.
That's on Disney+.
So we're watching that together at the moment.
Or if we're watching, like, a movie, say we watch, like,
Mission Impossible, then we'll be like, oh,
tomorrow we'll watch Mission Impossible 2 or whatever.
Right, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like, we'll have, like, a theme or something going on
and we'll, like, know what we're watching.
But I'll always have
like a show on the go for me as well that i'll like watch at bedtime or if um tobs is still
working or like over last weekend i was away so i had something that i could watch like on the plane
because i had something on the go um and then anything that's coming out week to week that's
in the back of my mind so like up until last week i watched the kardashians every week anything that's coming out week to week, that's in the back of my mind.
So, like, up until last week I watched The Kardashians every week and that's finished now.
How did it end?
Well, spoilers because I don't want, like, anyone.
Is it spoilers?
Well, yeah, because if anyone hasn't seen it, like.
Go on.
It is, like, a year behind, though, I guess.
Well, so in the last.
Like, oh, she's dating Pete Davidson.
Oh.
Well, no, that was the season before.
And he actually got cut out of the show.
What do you mean?
Like, so he was edited out.
So all the scenes that had him in it that were in the trailer all got edited out of the show.
And, like, you can see him in the background of a few shots and stuff.
But he got, apart from the episode with the man, because obviously they couldn't edit him out of that,
he got edited out of the rest of the show.
Is that like a real cold?
Well, I think they would, because he came out and was like,
oh, I don't like that I've been painted.
Is this like, so I don't know if it was their choice or he asked.
I don't know.
Yeah.
But anyway, so anyway, but yeah, so we've always got something on the go together.
So I would never watch forward to something we were watching together,
neither would Torbs, but we've always got something, like,
independently on the go.
What's my stance on puzzles?
Oh, you don't like that there's something, like,
reminding you you haven't finished it?
Yeah.
So I know that.
But you're not really into TV.
No, but the thought of being like, okay,
so if I sit down and wanted to watch a movie but I log in and I go,
oh, I've got five half-watched movies, that for me,
it's like Netflix is giving me a to-do list.
I 100% agree.
I can't commit to any more.
I still haven't finished that one.
And I'm not a good reader, but I do like the thought of reading a book.
Yep.
But the reality of getting through.
And so I've got two books that I haven't finished,
and every time I, like, see them.
You're like, fuck, that book's still going.
And, like, it's not, like, for school or it's not like someone's going to check.
No.
But, like, there's this, like, it's just, like,
an incomplete task staring me in the face. So I've got two books No. But, like, there's this, like, it's just like an incomplete task staring
me in the face.
So I've got two books at the moment and every time I look at them I go,
oh, I haven't finished those.
I actually, I do feel the same way about the Netflix to-do list.
Yeah.
And so, because you know how if you, like, start watching something
and then you actually don't like it and you, but it still sits there
and it says, like,
continue watching or whatever, I will, like, down, like,
you know how you can thumbs up or thumbs down things?
I've never done that, though.
Do people actually do that?
Well, I do because then it removes it from your list.
Yes.
Yes.
So there's, like, a button and it says, like,
remove from continue watching.
And then if it's something I actually haven't enjoyed,
then I'll down thumb it
so I don't get things like that.
Oh, that's great.
Yeah, so like I'm trying to help my algorithm all the time
because otherwise it was like.
Help it help you.
Yeah, because if I'm like, oh, I watched a season of this show
that I actually didn't really like, I don't want it to keep feeding
me more shit like that.
So because you know how we love Architectural Digest
and you and I kind of like looking at fabulous houses that we would never be at.
Like it's our little daydream.
It's fun though.
And then I'll always text you like, have you watched The Lightest Day of Day?
Yeah.
Like, oh, look at this celebrity's fucking pool the size of Tasmania.
And we just go, how good is this?
And so then my algorithm goes, oh, you'll love buying Beverly Hills.
Yeah.
Which is more about the drama than the house.
Yeah.
And so then I watched an episode of that and then it goes, oh,
you like shit reality shows.
And I go, no, no, no, I just wanted to see how the kitchen layout was.
No, no, no.
So you need to do, I'll show you.
I'll show you on the thing how to do it.
But can I like which bits though?
Can I thumbs down the reality but thumbs up the kitchen?
No, unfortunately not.
You know what I'll do because I love you and you're like one of my best could, you know what I'll do, because I love you, and you're like one of my
best friends. You know what I
could do? I could download
illegally all of the TV, cut
together the bits that you like, and just make like
a Ryan John Dunn cut of that show.
If I were to, because you've watched Sailing Sunset,
right? I have, yeah. Not the latest
season, because I've just, I don't
think I'm in the mental space to fucking deal
with the drums.
So if we were to cut down a season of Selling Sunset,
which I assume is the same as Buying Beverly Hills,
into just like the house bits, how much, like what percentage?
All right.
So if an episode goes for let's say 45 minutes. Sure. I would say that there's probably 15 or 20 minutes of them showing houses in each episode.
And it's normally like they'll show the house and then they'll go,
anyway, did you hear what Melissa said the other day?
And that's when you can kind of like hit next, you know.
And then it'll be someone else showing a house.
I'll show a beautiful house to some celebrity that's signed
a fucking NDA or whatever.
There's just a big blur.
And then they'll go, oh, did you hear what Melissa said?
And they'll go, oh, no.
Tell me again.
Yeah.
So it's kind of like that.
One thing I will say, though, and I don't watch for the drama,
but Melissa's a bitch.
Yeah, well, I've always said that.
Yeah.
So here's where Smish is at.
Okay.
Oh, sorry.
I forgot that we were helping someone with their marriage.
Smish is all over the place because he likes variety.
And I get the like, oh, I've watched a few heavy things.
Maybe I need to flick on a comedy, you know, lighten it up, whatever.
Smish's wife is like me.
She's like, I can't actually.
We've got all this half-eaten shit.
I actually can't sit in our lounge room at the moment
because every time I look at that TV, it just stresses me the fuck out.
I totally get it.
And she's actually said,
this is the line that's a fucking killer line
when someone says it with sincerity and purpose.
I'm going to stand in the barrel of the camera.
Should I look at you or should I look at the camera as well?
Let's cut to just my camera and to zoom right in so you can do whatever the fuck you like.
Okay.
Should I get a boob out?
No, okay, sorry.
Yep.
Can you give a straight face?
I'm trying to do a dramatic line. Yeah, sorry.
As in, like, deliver a dramatic line.
Like, do a dramatic line.
That was a dramatic line because my fucking glasses popped off.
Tony.
No.
What are you doing?
I want to watch you do it.
No, I need you to react.
This is what Smish's wife said.
Yep.
I can't live like this.
Why did that guy get really Australian when it's a wife in an America?
Well, I can't live like this.
I can't live like this.
I mean.
It's not like, oh, it's inconvenient.
I cannot live like this.
I get it.
I really do.
Like, sort your shit out.
There's too much going on.
It's like I live my life with the attitude, I don't know,
saying whatever, like clean bench, clean mind.
Like if our kitchen bench is messy and cluttered
and there's just shit everywhere, like I actually can't think straight
because I walk into the house and the first thing that I see
is that there's just like crap everywhere.
It's the same.
Yeah.
I think I'm the same as well.
Yeah, and I just.
Our desk out there.
So I was about to say like it's the same if I sit down at my desk
and there's shit everywhere.
I just can't do it. After we record, I'm going to go like fucking throw some shit the same if I sit down at my desk and there's shit everywhere. I just can't do it.
After we record, I'm going to go, like, fucking throw some shit out.
Am I allowed to throw that shit out?
Well, we actually, Producer Cam and I did quite a big clean out.
Only recently, like, it was a few boxes worth of stuff,
just, like, old bits of paper and stuff that needed to be recycled
and shit like that.
And all the stuff on your side, that's all your stuff.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I just didn't want you to think that we'd, like,
dumped a bunch of shit there.
No, no, no, no.
But I get it.
And if I sit down at my desk and I need to work
and there's shit everywhere, I just, like,
can't get started until it's right.
So I actually, even though this sounds frivolous,
I totally agree because if I sat down every time and be like,
well, where are we up to?
And also I can't remember that much shit.
Yeah.
Because then I go, oh, did he sleep with Jenny?
And then you go, oh, no, that's the other show we're watching.
And I go, okay, well, is Melissa a bitch?
They go, no, no, no, that's the other show we're watching.
And I go, well, fuck, I can't remember that much shit.
The other day I walked into the room and Bridget started
from scratch with Grey's Anatomy.
Oh, yep.
That's a good show.
She's up to, like, season three.
Right.
And I just walked into the room and one of the doctors, like,
gave a look to one of the other doctors.
And I go, oh, why did she do that?
And Bridget goes, I don't.
There's actually been three seasons of 20 episodes each of backstory
and context to that look.
Yeah.
I can't.
I'm actually not taking quit.
If you want to sit down and watch.
I get fucked off when if I'm watching something and, like,
Torbs finishes work or finishes whatever he was doing and he sits down
and I go to, like, pause the TV and he goes, no, no, leave it on.
I go, no, I'm watching this by myself.
Oh.
Because I don't need someone being like, oh, so why is Melissa a bitch?
And I go, I can't possibly explain to you the backstory of this character.
So you get annoyed at that.
Yeah, you have the gall to one minute into a movie that you both haven't seen go,
so, Torbs, why has that happened?
Yeah, and I have appreciated the wrong of my ways,
which is now a saying that I'm deciding to say.
I've realised the error in my ways is what I meant.
So I guess what we're really saying is,
Mish, your wife's going to leave you when she's right to do so.
I think that it is a fairgrounds for divorce.
Like I'm actually, I would take that extremely seriously.
And I'm pretty sure that if you went to a judge and said,
look, the Netflix, they go, say no more.
Say no more.
He's the worst. Fuck that guy.
Yeah. No, I totally agree. So, Smish,
I don't know if that's what you wanted to hear, but sometimes
It's not looking good, babe. That's all I'll say.
Sometimes you just, you gotta
hear some hard truths. How are
they living like that? I can't
live like this. Get your shit together.
Get your Netflix shit together.
Hey, it's Jordan from Wollongong and you're listening to Tony and Ryan.
A massive thank you to a few of our champions from the Patreon.
Bryce Schlabach.
Thank you so much.
Ellie Anastasia Beaverhausen.
Sorry, what was that?
That's one of the...
Did you say...
Did you say Shmally Beaverhaven?
Anastasia Beaverhausen.
Anastasia? Anastasia Beaverhausen. Anastasia?
Anastasia Beaverhausen.
Annie Wosa, thank you so much, and Sarah Gaunt.
We're housing you, Beaver.
Yeah, you should see my Beaverhausen.
Thank you so much for being part of the Patreon.
I'd fucking love to see it.
And if you're watching the video show on Spotify,
you can see all the names scrolling along at the bottom at the moment. Yep, thank you so much for being part of the Patreon. I fucking love to see it. And if you're watching the video show on Spotify, you can see all the names scrolling along at the bottom at the moment.
Thank you very much.
So this time last week I was on my way to Perth.
So I grew up in Perth.
West Coast.
West Coast, best coast.
West Coast.
My nephew Tyler turned 18 and I was going over for his birthday party.
To be the party mum, which is nice.
To be the party mum.
To take the chips out.
It was nice.
Did you prevent anyone from breaking a leg?
No, I didn't.
Someone did break a leg.
It wasn't my fault.
Sorry, dislocated, popped a knee out.
That's even worse.
I'd rather break a leg than dislocate a knee.
I mean, I was expecting for kids to pop a knee,
but I wasn't expecting him to pop a knee.
Anyway, so that's pretty funny.
That's pretty good.
Ready, rammy.
I booked my flights really late because I was like, you know what?
I'm just going to fucking go.
How great.
Slay the day.
Slay the day.
Exactly right.
And so I kind of booked like the last available flight.
And I accidentally booked
an international connecting flight.
Yeah, yeah.
As someone who's done the Melbourne-Perth leg what feels
like 100 times, rookie mistake.
Well, I didn't know that.
I've also flown from Melbourne to Perth many times and I just didn't
even know that it was an option.
Basically, it's the Melbourne to London that conveniently stops in Perth.
And so sometimes if there's Perth people travelling to London,
it's like you're just like hitching their seat.
Picking them up on the way.
But so I didn't really know like what that meant.
I was like, well, I'm still going domestically, so like whatever.
like what that meant, I was like, well, I'm still going domestically,
so like whatever.
Anyway, I didn't realise and then when I tried to check in on Thursday,
like 24 hours before my flight, tried to check in online,
it's like this is an international flight so you have to go to the desk.
Yeah.
And I was like, no, no, no, I'm not like dropping a bag,
but like you have to go to the desk.
I was like, no, no, no, I'm just taking carry on the line. Yeah, you have to go to the desk.
Hey, bitch, listen up, international flight.
How about you fucking listen? Yeah. We're. Yeah, you have to go to the desk. Hey, bitch, listen up. International flight. How about you fucking listen?
We're telling you that you have to go to the desk.
Anyway, so I rock up there.
The fucking line is just massive.
I was probably standing in the line because I said to you, oh, yeah,
I'm going to get an Uber from mine at fucking 2 o'clock or whatever,
and you were like, you are going to need so much more time.
And luckily I did because I ended up only having a spare like 25 minutes on the other
side, which for me is like not enough time.
How will I stress at the gate if I don't have enough time to stress at the gate?
If you can't start and finish Tony's book in the airport gate, you've got there too late.
Yeah, exactly.
I've always said that.
Anyway, so I go to the desk and then I have to go through like immigration
and customs and stuff.
Sniffer dogs?
Border security?
They weren't filming.
That's bullshit.
I get so upset every time.
But I also had to, because it was like a fucking international flight,
I had to like have like a see-through toilet bag.
Oh, less than 100 mils of toothpaste and all that shit.
The fucking liquids and stuff.
And like so I just, it was just a whole fucking rigmarole.
But it's a huge, lovely plane.
Oh, they're beautiful.
Because it was a fucking international flight.
Yeah, dog.
So I had no idea, but I was like,
this is actually fucking like the Ritz Carlton of the fucking sky.
When you get on the plane.
Yeah.
That's when the party, like getting to the plane is fucked.
But then when you get to the plane.
It makes all of the other bad shit worth it.
Yeah.
And so I had no idea.
I was just expecting the regular like Perth to Melbourne flight, like whatever.
But then it's like this big, beautiful plane.
And I'm like sitting right at the back, but the chairs are huge.
The screen is massive.
Like the last, every flight I've gotten recently, every domestic flight, they give you like
fucking an iPad that isn't charged.
And they're like, yeah, if you want to watch a movie, pop it on there.
Like, well, what the fuck am I going to do with that?
Anyway, we-
It's connected to the internet.
Oh yeah, there's actually no internet in the sky.
Oh, well, you can just play with the machine.
Yeah, do you snake or something?
Because nothing's downloaded.
They go, oh, sorry about that.
Sorry about that, yeah.
Yeah, and I go, can I have some food?
They go, we don't do food.
Yeah, would you like a go fuck yourself?
Yeah, it's a four-hour fucking flight.
Yeah, we don't have any food, so.
No, we've got a cracker.
Do you want a cracker?
No, all out of crackers, sorry.
Oh, do you have a water?
No.
Can I get a beer?
Yeah, that'll be $87,000.
Yeah, you pay the extra money for it.
Didn't I pay you a million dollars for this flight?
So I get on the plane and there's like a pillow and a blanket on my seat and stuff.
Fucking right.
And I must stress, I am in economy.
Yeah.
When I walked past first class, they fucking like give you give you a free tattoo and, like, diamond earrings.
Like, it's just amazing.
Like, it is beautiful up there.
Making beers, whipping up omelettes.
Oh, my God.
Yeah, Curtis Stone is on the plane.
Anyway, so.
Because you know how you walk past the good areas?
Were they doing, like, sparkling before takeoff?
Oh, yeah.
And doesn't that humble you, walking through first class
to get to economy?
And they go to you, excuse me, ma'am, can I get a champagne and oranges?
And you go, I don't work here.
I'm just walking down the back.
They were like, oh, are you one of the engineers or something?
Why are you up here?
Shouldn't you be down below?
Yeah, are you allowed to be here?
Literally, like, I wasn't.
I wasn't supposed to be there.
They fucking pushed me down the end.
Get moving, sweetheart.
Don't you even look at that champagne.
Well, so and then as soon as I sit down, they're like, oh,
bottle of water before we take off.
And I don't mean the little waters that they give you.
It was like a full-size water bottle.
Oh, my God.
I know.
It was really nice.
Fucking right, eh?
So then it reminded me in my brain that only a couple of weeks ago,
producer Cam went home to Perth.
He's also from Perth.
Did you catch the international one, Cam?
Or did you get the regular pleb domestic?
I had the iPad plane.
Yeah.
And one with the screens in the roof as well.
Oh, that's the worst.
Oh, God, that's like an old bus going to swimming lessons, isn't it?
Anyway, and producer Cam goes,
we were like, how was your flight?
And he goes, not like how bloody it used to be.
And I was like, oh, yeah, what's going on?
And he goes, you know, they don't even give you a bloody bit of bread anymore.
Do they not give you a bread roll on a domestic flight?
No, just a little package, cardboard package of salad
and also a go fuck yourself.
Yeah.
No diamond earrings, no Maggie beer, nothing.
And he goes, yeah, you don't get the hot little hot dinner roll
like you used to.
But then.
No.
I was like, hang on. But then. No.
I was like, hang on, this is quite fancy.
So they give me the big bottle of water.
Yeah.
Then they give me a cheese and crackers.
And I'm like, okay, this is obviously the meal.
A nice little snack in the way, yeah.
Well, yeah, I'm like, it's obviously not a big meal.
Like, they just give you this.
And then they come around and they've got this lovely quinoa ancient grain salad with a green goddess dressing and smoked salmon.
And I thought, well, don't mind if I fucking do.
They also had a tikka masala.
I went for the salad.
Okay.
And then they came around with full-size magnums.
What?
The ice cream.
Not a mini.
Not a fucking mini.
Nah, those minis are fucking me right off.
They do because you're done in one bite.
You might as well fucking shove it up your ass.
A full-size magnum on the plane.
In economy.
In economy.
I'm not even joking.
Can I fly international back home after the recording today?
Literally, right?
And then they come around.
If you say hot towel, I'm going to fucking come around.
No, no hot towel.
No hot towel, unfortunately.
I could have just sat on one and then, but no, didn't have a hot towel.
But then, so they come around with drinks again,
and people are having a wine and whatever, yeah,
and I don't drink on the plane.
Like, it makes me really nervous because what if there's an emergency,
I won't be able to do anything.
They go, someone fly the plane.
I go, well, I can because I haven't been drinking.
I went through a phase from the day I turned 18 to like a few years ago.
I don't think I ever flew on a plane and not drank alcohol.
Oh, yeah.
No, I never have.
I don't think I've ever had a boozy drink on a plane.
Like I didn't have a drink once and it felt weird
because I always just get like a Jack and Coke or something.
Just something, yeah.
Because it's included as well.
Well, on quanticities, yeah.
So you kind of feel a bit naughty.
But anyway, so they come around with the drinks car
and I'm fucking feeling myself because I've had all this stuff.
And then they go, oh, would you like a hot drink?
Oh, no, Tony.
So I'm on the record with you guys saying that I would also never,
ever drink a hot drink on the plane because it just feels weird.
What if there's a bump and then you get hot tea all over yourself?
You get burnt.
That doesn't stop you in the office.
And I've seen you try to drink a cup of tea.
That's true.
But the idea of hot drinks on a plane, then I saw this.
Why is it that it does you in?
Because it got mentioned the other day and you had a conniption.
The hot drink thing panics me because what if they're pouring it
and then there's a bump and then it fucking goes all over my hands?
Or just like the idea of a hot drink on a plane just like bothers me
to the nth degree.
But what also calms you down is like a great –
That's true.
Yeah, so it's like this – like a nice green tea and you've said –
you know how we were talking before when you're like,
oh, having a warm tea in my belly just like makes me like nice and sleepy.
Oh, that's true.
So like a little – like a peppermint tea and then you can kind of,
you know, put your head back and your headphones.
Maybe that is.
I encourage you to.
Well, then I watched this viral TikTok that it was like never drink water from a plane that isn't in a bottle because they don't clean something.
I don't know.
Anyway, so I've just like decided that I'm not a hot tea drinker.
But do you remember when we were having this conversation the other day
and you said, you know what you never see on the planes anymore?
What don't you see on a plane anymore?
The hot chocolate.
Hot chocolate on a plane is fucking elite.
I don't know if it's because, you know how there's a thing with the-
Here we go.
Yeah, love it.
I love how pumped you are.
Okay, I don't know shit about shit,
but here's what I do know about getting fucked up and eating food on planes.
One in the sky equals about four on the ground.
Are we on the record for that?
That's why I can't do it.
One on the ground for me is enough.
If I had one in the sky and it's four on the ground, I'd be dead.
When I came home from French Polynesia playing volleyball,
I was carried off the plane by two of my teammates
and a flight attendant, and I reckon I had three drinks.
That's not good, mate.
No, and I was like, but I've only had three
and then the flight attendant goes, yeah, but three in the sky
is like nine on the ground.
And I went, oh, well, fuck.
I think I was 16 at the time as well.
Anyway, so that's a fact.
We know that one in the sky is worth four on the ground.
Yep.
We also know.
One in the bird is two in the bush.
We also know that because your taste buds are somewhat lesser
in the sky, they need to add extra spice or some extra shit.
And salt and stuff, yeah.
And stuff so you can, like, get a bit of,
and apparently, like, if you ate one of those on the ground,
it'd be a bit like, because of the extra stuff.
Yeah, right.
Okay, so that's what we know.
Yeah.
Here's what I don't know.
How the fuck are hot chocolates ten times better in the sky?
You will not get a better hot, you know how you've been to Dome?
Yep.
Cam, did you work at Dome?
Yes.
I went to Dome.
It was the only thing that I did while I was in Perth
except for going to my nephew's birthday.
It's as if any hot drink in the sky is a Dome hot chocolate.
It is delicious.
I don't know if your, like, sensories or the capillaries
in your fucking blood and throat and shit are just, like, so open to a warm know if you're like sensories or the capillaries in your fucking blood
and throat and shit are just like so open to a warm chocolate
when you're in the sky, but you will not have a bad hot chocolate on a plane.
Well, so they came around with the hot drinks car.
And is it?
What is it?
Is it?
It's like a cup and it's got just like the Milo powdery shit in the bottom
and maybe the ratio is off. like it's a little bit too much
or it's like sweeter and chocolatey.
And then they just pour the hot water in the top
and then they stir it and they're like, it gets thick.
Well, I saw someone else like order before they got to me.
Maybe it's the thickness because you're up in the sky,
it gets thick.
It gets thick.
I think they actually.
Have you ever had something thick before?
It's like gravy.
Yeah.
You know how I'd describe it?
Like gravy.
Young gravy.
It's thick.
So I think that they actually like brew it with like the milk and the chocolate.
So that's why it's thick.
Yeah.
Because it's like the hot milk.
It's thick.
Fuck yeah it is.
And so they're like brewing that up and I'm just like.
Oh they brew it.
Oh.
So it was all like. Well if enough people order we may as well get a jug. Well because you know how they have like, I'm brewing that up. And I'm just like, oh. Oh, they're brewing. Oh. So it was all like mixed.
Well, if enough people order, we may as well get a jug.
Well, because you know how they have like the coffee jug,
the milk jug.
Sorry, the coffee jug, the tea jug, and then like they had a thing.
And anyway, so I see, and I was like, oh, that's the,
and I saw on the, they had a menu and I had like hot drinks,
tea, coffee, hot chocolate.
And I was like, oh, my God, Ryan was just talking about this.
Like how crazy. And she comes over and she's like, oh, yeah, we've got a few hot chocolate. And I was like, oh, my God, Ryan was just talking about this. Like, how crazy.
And she comes over and she's like, oh, yeah, we've got a few hot drinks.
And I was like, I'm fine, thanks.
I don't drink hot drinks on the plane.
So I didn't have one.
Did you hear that thump?
I didn't have one.
Did you hear that thump?
Did you hear that thump?
Yeah, I did.
Do you know what it was?
Your heart falling out of your asshole?
There was two thumps.
One was that.
Do you know what the other one was?
What?
My erect penis falling back down and slapping my leg
and being instantly soft.
Yeah, is your foot okay?
Yeah.
So hang on.
You saw the jug.
Yeah.
Jugs are rare.
That's even better.
It's thick.
It was thick, yeah.
But I don't drink hot drinks on planes, so I just wanted to share with you
that I knew you'd get so excited, but I didn't have one.
Looked good.
But, yeah, I just had the water because it's a big bottle of water.
I had a Diet Coke.
Coke Zero.
They didn't have Diet Coke.
I'll be speaking to Qantas about that.
When we fly to America.
Yeah.
I'll take my own Diet Coke.
Great idea.
Will you have a hot chocolate with me?
What if we just share one just for a taste,
just so you can appreciate the thickness?
Well, what's the hot water vibe?
What's the thing about the water?
That's not supposed to do it.
But if it's got milk in it, that's okay.
Yeah, I'll have one with you on the way to the US.
You won't have a better hot chocolate.
Yeah, okay.
Yeah, deal.
I don't know what it is.
I knew you'd get excited that I wanted to share it with you.
I do get excited about that.
Also, Tony learnt yesterday that cola has coffee in it.
Oh, caffeine.
Yeah.
Yeah, I didn't know that.
I genuinely did not know it had caffeine in it.
Is this new?
The way you were surprised made me question everything I thought I knew about coke.
Does it have caffeine in it?
100%.
Why?
That's what it is.
Is it added or is that just in it?
That's what cola is. What's cola? is that just in it? That's what cola is.
What's cola?
It's caffeine.
No, no, no, but like.
Think about the cola if you were to add.
No, no, no, no.
Like I get that.
But what is cola then?
Like is cola the thing?
Like so, you know, when you think of like cacao, cacao is like the thing.
Yeah.
But like what's cola like made from? Is it just...
I think it's coffee.
It's a carbonated soft drink, so it'll be a syrup, but
it's flavoured with vanilla, cinnamon, citrus oils
and other flavourings. So it's like a concoction of
syrup. But where does the caffeine come
into it? Is the caffeine added or is the
Do you know the question I'm asking?
It'll be added. But why is it added?
I actually don't understand why
it would have caffeine in it.
I don't know.
Okay, again, I don't know shit about shit,
and maybe this is just something I assumed and just fucking stuck with.
Or your mum told you when you were a kid, like,
you can't have coke at night time because it'll make you bounce off the wall.
You know, like.
When you say, like, adding caffeine to cola, for me it's like the question,
like, that's just what cola is. Well, that's what I'm asking. What is it? You said to me, oh, they add caffeine to cola. For me, it's like the question, like that's just what cola is.
Well, that's what I'm asking.
What is it?
It's as if you said to me, oh, they add caffeine to a coffee.
And you go, no, no, that's just what the coffee.
Like that's how my brain thinks what Coke is.
But it may be, but I don't know.
But what is the cola?
Like what's the cola made of?
It'll be like sugar, water, oils, vanilla.
It's like when you make-
And how much caffeine is in Coke?
Okay, so where does the caffeine come into it?
Added by the manufacturer.
Yeah, but why?
Because that's how they market it.
Because it's a soft drink that gives you a buzz.
Like it's a soft drink.
Okay.
A small cola drink has less caffeine than an instant coffee.
32 mils.
It's half.
Okay, so here's what I wanted to know.
Most colas originally contained caffeine from the cola nut.
How did you find that?
Where does cola come from is what I Googled.
Yeah, you've got to be pretty quick to fucking get past me.
From the cola nuts leading to the drink's name,
though other sources now are used.
So the Pemberton cola drink also contained coca plant extract,
which was a non-alcohol recipe, which, yeah, was the coca,
which is the cocaine thing.
So and then I'm saying.
I think there was a Diet Coke spinoff, which was like a caffeine free.
I remember that.
Yeah, and maybe that's why I went.
Because it was like a brown label.
Yeah, and maybe that's why I went, well,
if caffeine free is like a different thing,
then obviously the default is caffeine.
So the first cola soft drink, Coca-Cola,
was invented in 1800 by mixing the
extracts of cola and coca with sugar, carbonated water and other ingredients. But Coca-Cola no
longer use the cola nut extracts in their drinks. So originally, I guess it had it naturally from
the cola nut, but now they add it because of the marketing of it or whatever. Would you describe it as thick?
It's thick.
I just love that producer Cam's like, well, how'd you find that?
Literally Googled where does cola come from?
You're all going to shit yourself, Cam, about this website.
You're not going to believe this.
It starts with a G and rhymes with roogle, and it's awesome.
I've got to love to see it here.
Please.
I've sent you a video, Tony. And it's about Cason.
Young Cason, he moved schools, but his old friends really missed him.
Oh, yeah.
When you moved schools in high school, did your old friends miss you?
I don't think so.
Yeah, I don't think so.
So anyway, the teacher said to Cason's parents,
so they sent him an email and said,
oh, can you bring Cason in one day?
Because all the kids really miss him.
Oh, that's so sweet.
And so have a look at the video.
All right, let me hit go.
Are you sure?
And this guy must be a real player
because have a look when the girls start lining up to give him a hug.
That is so sweet.
How old do you reckon Kaysen is?
Like five or six.
How can a kid have that much riz at that age that people just love him?
He must be such a sweet boy.
Like...
See the girls just lining up to hug him?
Just everybody.
He's obviously a really nice kid.
That's so...
Oh, Kaysen's fucking good on ya.
I mean, you do love to see that,
but I'm like...
I've got more questions about Kaysen's reason.
Can I bottle that shit up, Kaysen,
and have some of it?
I think that if you're just a nice person, though,
people will like you.
Yeah, but what else if you don't have that?
So do they add the caffeine?
My Love to See is from Murph Vanden He.
Thank you so much, Murph.
Share this in our Facebook group.
Last week, we ordered a new set of pants, knives, and a garlic crusher.
Just be careful with those new knives.
Yeah, you've got to be careful.
And we felt similar joy, pleasure, and pride as Tony described a few months ago
when she and Torb's got new pans and stuff.
You love to see it.
You do love to see it because it feels like such a grown-up choice
that you're deciding that you're going to have this beautiful shit to cook with
and, like, enjoy in your house.
So I've recently got a non-stick pan.
And when you've had a real sticky pan and then you move to a non-stick,
it reminded me of that time I got a surprise back wax.
Oh, and then you slipped right out of the car.
When I cracked an egg into the non-stick pan.
Yeah, went next door.
You had to knock on the door and ask him for it.
Yeah, see.
Yeah, it's unbelievable.
So I love to see that good on you.
Yeah.
So thank you so much for sharing that, Mirth.
Hopefully everybody listening to the podcast or watching it in Spotify
loved today's episode.
So sweet.
Have a great weekend.
We're back on Monday.
Oh, guess what's Monday?
The return of Who's the Fuckhead.
Oh, and Tony's got beef.
Yeah.
Well, oh. Okay, I've said got beef. Yeah, well, oh.
Okay, I've said too much.
Yeah.
I've said too much.
But that's coming up Monday.
We'll chat to you then.
Love you, bye.