Toni and Ryan - New Anxiety Unlocked
Episode Date: May 13, 2024ANOTHER THING YOU DIDN'T KNOW YOU NEEDED TO WORRY ABOUT!!! Love ya xoxCheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @toni...lodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Author Tony Lodge.
Hello. This is the international part of the show, so I don't know where we're going.
We're calling South Wales. Not New South Wales, Old South Wales.
That's very funny.
Thank you. We're calling Terry.
Terry. Oh, Terry, what's occurring? That's what I'll say.
Yesterday, our approval was from Ontario.
Sorry, everyone.
I don't think they were either.
Hello?
Hi, Terry.
What's occurring?
Hi.
Hello.
Terry, was that extremely offensive what Tony just did?
No.
No, not at all.
See?
I've seen Gavin and Stacey.
I get it.
I get it.
Now, I believe you are a stay-at-home dog mum.
Is that true?
Oh, my dream job.
Currently, yes.
What's it like?
Stressful.
Stressful.
Really?
Okay.
Is your dog a psychopath?
No, all jobs are stressful.
Are you doing, like, a lot of homemade food for the dog?
Like are you making your own like, you know, you're not buying store-bought.
You're buying like.
Real deal.
Yeah.
Well, we have like, I don't know if it's in Australia,
but we have this company called Tails where you order it online.
Okay.
Well, see, that's what I thought maybe the stressful part was.
Yeah, I'm trying to find the stressful part. No, it see. That's what I thought. Maybe the stressful part was. Yeah. I'm trying to find it.
No,
it's just,
she's like a,
she's a puppy.
So she's a golden retrieve,
a working golden retriever.
And she's just absolutely nuts.
Okay.
Yep.
You know,
there you go.
We'll give you,
we'll give you stressful back.
Okay.
Terry,
we'd like to approve today's podcast.
I would love to approve today's podcast.
Excellent.
Hey, it's Carrie
from South Wales
and I approve this podcast.
All right.
Question without notice.
Question without notice.
With one word, describe how you feel about Reddit.
Intrigued.
Intrigued?
It's like a wild world that we don't understand.
It's quite crazy and I've gotten some crazy information from Reddit.
Yep.
Like I don't frequent it a lot.
I don't really know how it totally works.
Yeah.
Because you know how with every thing like that,
you kind of have to like.
Thread and a sub-thread and a this and a that.
Yeah, but I do quite like it.
I've gotten some good info from Reddit.
People ask good questions.
Some people say it's like the cesspool because you can get
down some weird holes.
And how. Yeah, don't some weird holes. And how.
Yeah, don't say weird holes.
My love to say it today, if people are iffy on Reddit, this is going to bring you back.
Oh.
This is one of the greats.
Okay.
But first, let's do confessions.
These are tough confessions.
Thank you for singing that for me because I cannot sing.
Today's not my day for singing.
And regularly.
What?
It's not your forte.
What?
You know what I'm saying.
No.
You have a little bit of hot tea.
Submit your confessions at tonyandryan.com.au.
They don't all have to be about shitting in a place or a grinder pickup.
Yeah.
At the moment, I'll tell you what I'd love to have people submit.
What?
Have you witnessed or were a part of a crime taking place?
No.
I want to hear like petty neighborhood dispute.
Like I saw my neighbor do it.
You know, I want to hear some shit.
No crime crime though.
I'll make a confession.
What?
What are you saying?
When our bin's full, there's a house $3 down that when they put their bin out,
very rarely is it passed half full.
You've said this before.
This isn't a new confession.
I reconfess.
Here's a confession.
I met a guy in a bar and we ended up doing the dance in each other's pants.
People are getting very creative.
A few days later, we went out for drinks to get to know each other.
Oh, like exchange.
So it wasn't just a one night thing.
It was like, oh, yeah.
Well, it wasn't first, but they kind of liked each other.
Like, oh, you know, should we hang out?
Awesome.
That's cool.
And then I realized he's one of the biggest radio djs in the city what we get along really well and we kept dancing throughout the week wink wink
do we know where this confessor is from we don't and i wish i did oh the guy was a great hookup
but wasn't really someone i wanted to like be with. Yeah, okay. But like we had fun
and stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was going to end it until
he calls me and says, I think I can get us tickets and
go to the soundcheck for Taylor Swift. Well, I'd have
sex with anyone for that. We might even
get to meet her.
So she's about to dump him and goes, well, I can't dump him.
Yeah, because my seats that I've got for Taylor Swift are quite far back.
And it's not like she hated him.
She was like, oh, he's great, but it's not like she's kind of looking for a long-term partner.
He's probably not that guy. But like, yeah, there's no, I don't like him, but she was
like, no, I can, I can get around a few more times to see Taylor Swift.
That's all good.
I'm having fun.
I'm having fun.
Yeah.
If instead of breaking up with him this Thursday, I break up with him next Thursday.
Yeah.
Yeah.
As a Swifty, I did what I had to do.
Yeah.
Respect.
Yep.
He took me to the show and I met the queen herself.
It was an unreal experience.
I met the family dancers.
Is that a thing?
Family of dancers.
It was a night to remember.
What?
The morning after, I realized I can't dump him like right now.
No, no, no.
I got to like give it a little bit of time.
I said to my friends, oh, I'll give it two or three weeks
and then we'll drift off.
He legitimately is really busy with work.
So am I.
It's a pretty like common easy excuse to like no one gets hurt.
Yeah.
Nice one.
We were out and about the following week and he goes,
oh, I just need to make a quick stop at my place.
Is that all right?
Before we head out for dinner.
She goes, yeah, it's fine.
He goes, oh, come on in, come on in.
He sneaks me up to the house and his parents are there waiting.
And he goes, mum and dad, this is the girl I've been telling you about.
This is, you know, confessor.
And they ended up like staying there and having dinner
and meeting the parents and like, oh, you know,
he's been telling us all about you.
Things sprang, like having that sprung on you, meeting the parents
and a couple of weeks in, that's like a.
Well, I think it was like a few weeks, then Swift, then a few weeks.
So it's like three or four weeks.
It's still pretty early.
That's pretty.
And especially when you've like met at a bar.
Like I think if you've known, if you've been friends for a while
and then you've only been kind of dating or whatever for six weeks,
that's a bit different because the family probably know of you from before.
Yeah.
But if you've kind of like met randomly and then,
and not in a shady way, but I mean like if you've only just met,
you don't know each other at all.
I felt like I also couldn't dump him after just meeting his parents.
No, because then he's like, it's my mum's fault.
Yeah.
So then she's like, well, I have to add a few more weeks.
They're now married.
They've been together for 20 years.
They have five children.
So she ended up being with this guy for about three or four months
before she like eased it off.
And she's like, and I would do it all again for Taylor Swift.
Again, respect like 100%.
That is a crazy story that's amazing i'd love to know who
that was i'd love to know who the radio dj was yeah that's what i want to know i want to know
what city it was if it was a couple of months ago teleswift was like we could probably figure it out
from where teleswift was at the time apparently Apparently they mentioned it on their show. But the radio guy was like, oh, I was seeing this girl
and she just left me and stuff.
Oh.
Shattered.
Oh, that's really sad.
Yeah, he loved her, it sounds like.
Well, I mean, yeah, if you introduce someone to your parents,
that's quite a big deal.
If you introduce someone to Taylor Swift.
Yeah, I mean, that's massive. There there's gonna be all these photos with taylor swift and like he's
his future kids gonna be like who's that other broad yeah and he's gonna go
the one that got away yeah the one he's like still gutted yeah but she's already photoshopped
him out of her photos with taylor swift and then i have to settle for your mom imagine
meeting fucking taylor swift like that is that's the craziest part of this whole thing.
Like that's insanity. Anyway. Wow.
Just a little quick one, little in-between confession here.
Yeah. From stubborn colleague.
Yeah. I
teased my colleague about wanting a first aid kit
and yesterday I picked at my nail and my finger started bleeding
I grabbed the first aid kit and put on the band-aid
it was really convenient
but I'll never give my colleague the satisfaction
of used knowing that
fuck this cannot write bleep that obviously
i'll never give my colleague the satisfaction of knowing that i use the first aid kit
yeah oh and that's anonymous so we can't reach back out to that fucking idiot that's a real shame
that tarp it sounds like the dumbest time we've got though unfortunately no they sound quite smart they sound quite smart and attractive actually sounds
like their colleague though is a very switched on sounds like that confessor is great in the
bedroom and it has a great personality it sounds like the confessor's colleague has probably got
great eyebrows and like it sounds like the confessor has a great immune system and is
able to get over colds really quickly it sounds like the confessessor has a great immune system and is able to get over colds really quickly. It sounds like the Confessor's colleague is probably really good
at making sourdough bread and has the cutest dog on the planet,
which is quite cool.
I would love to hang out with the colleague, the Confessor's colleague.
I didn't know it was Sophie.
Smooth surprise.
Oh, that sounds horrific.
And it is.
Oh.
I always wanted to wax my private area as a little surprise treat
for my boyfriend.
Nice.
I was too embarrassed to go and see a professional,
so instead I tried the do-it-yourself method and bought the cheapest
supermarket wax strips I could find.
Oh, you've made a mistake.
There is your first error, my friend.
The first rip was super painful, but I obviously couldn't stop there.
After a full hour of torturing myself, I had bruises on my vagina
and a few odd patches of hair here and there that just wouldn't come out.
And my whole skin was covered in super sticky wax it is though i've done it myself before and it's like it's so
painful but the longer you leave it on the worse it is so you just gotta so you have to actually
just do it but you're psyching yourself out because it hurts so much but you're like oh but
the longer i wait the worse it's gonna hurt So you're like trying to like gee yourself up.
I've done like sitting on the floor of the bathroom before.
I'd be like, ah!
It's fucking awful.
This was supposed to be a sexy surprise.
Oh.
But it actually became the least sexiest thing ever.
My boyfriend had to come in and help me put bandages
on my now bald beaver.
Oh, my friend. Oh, my friend.
Oh, my God.
I thought the horrifying experience was all done and dusted until I woke up the next morning
and realized that some of the glue, like wax, had dried up and it actually had glued my
butt cheeks together.
It's just the worst way to wake up.
Of all the ways.
Do you ever like, is it like.
What are you saying?
Do you ever wake up with your butt cheeks glued together?
Not on a weekday.
Now, like, does everyone have like a little, like,
let's just not be kids about this, but also let's be realistic. Yeah. Like sometimes in the morning, it's like a little, like, let's just not be kids about this,
but also let's be realistic.
Yeah.
Like sometimes in the morning, it's like a little morning,
like a little fluff in the morning.
Oh, yeah.
Because, you know, you've been bubbling away all night.
Bubbling away all night? That is a disgusting thought.
I don't think that's how it works.
Bubbling away.
Oh, my God.
I confess that kind of went to do a morning little.
Yeah.
And then like her butt was glued together.
So what happened?
It was just like – it was just awful.
There was nowhere to go and it kind of just like –
and that's how she usually – oh, that's –
That's not normal.
Yeah.
That's not what normally happens.
Oh, right.
So what do you do?
Soak in the bath and try and like soften it up or something?
She laid face down and her boyfriend had to like.
That is true love though.
That is true love.
Yeah.
Put a ring on that guy because fuck.
Don't say ring.
But that's the funniest thing.
Like if he does it successful, then he's just looking straight into your eyes.
I'd do that for you.
If you called me and you were like, Tony, something's gone terribly wrong here.
Well, you can't.
A hundred percent.
Would you?
One thousand percent.
Would you look into my soul from the backside?
I've also got friends that have been like, oh,
I've had like a tampon too high up and like I've had to get somebody else
to like help me.
I would call you for that too.
Would you help me with that if I called you?
And I was like, it's like.
I would, but I'd be a fucking little boy about it.
Yeah.
No.
Oh, sorry. Oh, I'm glad that's not a video show so people couldn't see the face fucking little boy about it. Yeah. No.
Oh, sorry.
Oh, I'm glad that's not a video show so people couldn't see the face and the finger and the action you were doing.
That you would do.
No, I mean I'd be like squirmishing a bit like.
Yeah.
I think that's fair.
If damsel in distress.
If I'm damsel in distress.
I would come to your rescue.
That's really nice.
Thank you.
Yeah.
You're welcome. This is a nice wholesome moment, isn That's really nice. Thank you. Yeah. You're welcome.
This is a nice, wholesome moment, isn't it?
Awesome.
Sorry.
Hey, it's Terri from South Wales, and you're listening to Tony and Ryan.
A massive shout-out to a few of our champion tapas over at our Patreon.
All the information for our Patreon is in the show notes,
which is like the little description of the episode.
So you can kind of click it and there's a few links in there to our Facebook group and our Patreon so you can check out all that stuff.
You can see exactly where you can post about the episodes and share your stories.
Alex Tennyson, good on you, Alex.
Ashley Beckhard, Amy Marie, Matthew Huttonpool,
Rochelle Whitley, and Jackie.
Thank you so much for being part of the Patreon.
But you can check out all of those links whenever you want.
Yep, and also in the Facebook group, when we say episode thread,
they're in the Facebook group.
Just search for Tony and Ryan Podcast Group.
And we accept everyone, you know, open door.
And then, yeah, you can comment.
So you've got 115,000 people in there now?
Isn't that just like insanity?
Crazy.
What does the MCG hold?
Less than that.
Insane.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But enough of that.
Enough of that.
I'm going to give you something that you didn't know
that you needed to worry about.
Yep.
I know.
I got it off my plate.
Yeah.
Not feeling great.
Not very well.
Yeah, well, fucking strap yourself in, mate.
So I went out for breakfast with our new producer, Sophie, the other day.
Oh.
James and I were busy, so whatever. Yeah, the other day. Oh. So we.
James and I were busy, so whatever.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All good, you guys.
All good.
We have to put our personal gripes aside for this, I think.
But it was kind of to brainstorm and, like, because this job is very personal and, like,
we're kind of, like, talking about our lives all the time.
Yeah. To kind of, like, figure out what good stuff to talk about.
You kind of talk about like the shit stuff as well.
And Sophie and I were kind of like, you know what,
how about before you poke around my emotional holes,
like I actually find out like what your fucking middle name is.
Yeah.
Because I realise we don't know each other at all and it's, you know,
it's quite difficult to do that.
It's a stealth, by the way.
I was going to say, what is Sophie's middle name?
Do you know what Tony's middle name is?
Is it Felicia?
Correct.
Very good answer.
We talked about that on the day.
Anyway, and we kind of, we sit down and it's like, it's not awkward,
but it's a little bit like, oh, we've never sat down for food together before.
And we're kind of like, oh, like, what are you thinking?
It was like you guys were on a first date.
It was a little bit because we're like, we already oh, like, what are you thinking? It was like you guys were on a first date. It was a little bit because we're like we already know each other
but like socially we.
How long do I need to string this along so I can see Taylor Swift?
Yeah.
That's not coming, by the way, just in case that's what you're waiting for.
Be very upfront.
Yeah.
No Taylor Swift.
Yeah, there's no Taylor Swift coming.
If I could get that, we would all be talking about that.
I would not keep that a secret from anyone.
And we're chatting and we're doing the menu and, like,
the bit of a dance of, like, oh, do you want to just get a coffee?
Should we do food as well?
And, like, someone comes over and is like,
can I get you guys started on a coffee?
Do you want food?
And we're like, oh, do you?
Do you want food?
You know how it's kind of like, oh, ah.
Anyway, we decided.
Well, it doesn't.
Yeah, okay. What? It doesn't have to be like that. But it was just kind of like, oh, ah. Anyway, we decided. Yeah, okay.
What?
It doesn't have to be like that.
But it was just kind of like how much time do you have?
Like do you have anything after this kind of thing?
You were.
No, not really nervous.
You don't have to act tough in front of her now.
I never do.
But like I wasn't really nervous, but I was also kind of like,
oh, if you don't want to fucking hang out with me, like don't have to.
Well, it's in work hours.
You actually have to.
But like.
You literally have to.
Yeah, okay.
I was holding her hostage and I was like, yeah,
we'll be doing this during work hours so that you have to come.
Anyway, I'm like I said, oh, I'm actually I'm pretty hungry
so I'm going to get food.
And Sophie goes, oh, great.
But just so you know, I like don't mind if we order the same thing.
And I went, what?
And she's like, oh, well, like, you know when you're out with someone
and some people are like, oh, well, if you're getting that,
I won't get that because, like, you don't want to order the same thing.
So I had never, ever thought about that before.
Really?
Or could not or I did not know.
Why?
Because I had.
No, but you, because this is a rule of, this is like one of the rules of life.
It's like a social contract.
Yeah, but you are good at finding things to feel terrible and awkward about.
It's my only talent.
No, you have many talents.
That's up there.
But one of them is find, oh, there's nothing to worry about. Well, I need to worry about that. I'll out like. It's my only talent. One of you. No, you have many talents. That's up there. But one of them is find, oh, there's nothing to worry about.
Well, I need to worry about that.
I'll find something.
Yeah.
Yeah, over there I'll worry about.
Yeah.
And so you're telling me one of the great things to worry about,
you never even knew.
Never even knew.
And then so.
What?
This is so off brand for you.
I know.
And then you said before here's something you have to worry about now.
No, we were all well aware.
Well, I'm shocked that I'm not like breaking this news to you.
No.
So then Sophie's like, yeah, well, because, you know,
it feels weird to both go like, oh, yeah, I'll have that.
And then, oh, well, I'll have that as well.
Yeah.
And then we were kind of talking about like, oh, well,
so it's important who orders first.
Because, yeah, you want to get in first.
And so.
Sometimes when there's a really great, you love to see it. I'll like try and get in first so that i i don't use it before you do yeah yeah same
energy so um so who ordered first so we kind of saw we're gonna get we're both gonna get this
breakfast burger and as the lord would have it we're both gonna add an egg or fucking you know
how they've got like oh add halloumi for a dollar or whatever it is. We both add the egg. Who ordered first though?
He comes over and Sophie's like, oh, and I go, I'll get that burger.
Like that ultimate power move.
But so I didn't really know about this, but instantly I'm transported
back to this time where I realised that it compounds the more people
that are together, the worse it is that you order the
same thing so after i've had this breakfast with sophie right i'm spiraling because i'm like
i do this all the time i do this all the time and i fucking thought about this day when i was at uni
i went to the beach with two of my girlfriends like years ago this is in perth in coddisflo
and we were like oh and we'll go and get
some lunch after we'd been swimming for a couple of hours we're like yeah we'll go get some lunch
what's the the codicil beach hotel which is like being redone it's like really fancy yeah um and
we're all students like and we were also all vegetarian oh my god at the time yeah we were initiations
anyway the only they all had like we all were like looking at the menu we're all fucking poor
we all donate meat and the only vegetarian thing i had on the menu was this like cranberry
grain salad with like halloumi in it and it also like happened to be the cheapest thing on the menu
perfect well and then so this fancy waiter comes over and my friend orders it yeah and then he goes
and for you my other friend orders and goes oh yeah i'll have the same salad and then he looks
at me and i go well yeah like i'll have the same salad. And he goes, oh.
You poor vegan bitches.
But I just never knew that this was a thing.
And then after Sophie said that, I was like, oh, 10 years ago I did that.
Yeah.
I think it's fine if you, this is the energy you need to have.
Order your meal.
Oh, yeah, I'll get the cranberry halloumi grain salad.
Make it two.
Oh.
See?
Make it cool.
Yeah.
Yeah, instead of being like, oh, sorry, I have the grain salad.
Or they go, and Rowan, what would you like?
You go, I'll get the cranberry grain salad.
And they go, what? So you can't say it as if it's a new thought.
Yeah.
You've got to say it as if like, oh, two of those.
You've done such a good job at ordering.
Double them up, dog.
Yeah.
That sounds fine.
You know what?
Give me one of those.
I wasn't going to get that, but that sounds grouse.
That does sound sick.
Sorry for saying grouse.
Yeah.
No, because you were thinking about the 90s.
I was.
I was.
I was.
I was.
Ten years ago.
That wasn't the 90s.
You were born in the 90s. Yeah. I was born in 93. I was. I was. Ten years. That wasn't the 90s. You were born in the 90s.
Yeah.
I was born in 93.
I wasn't allowed to go to the beach by myself when I was seven.
Really?
What?
Obviously not.
What did you do for the first seven years of your life?
Hang out with my parents.
Yeah.
Fuck.
Biological.
And it is nice.
Thank you for asking.
That is dark.
But if you are.
I think it's because you want to feel like you're exploring the menu.
And having like an individual thought.
Having an individual thought.
But also like if Bridget gets something fun and I go, oh, that sounds great.
Maybe I'll have a taste of that when yours comes out and then I'll get that other one.
I don't know if this or that.
And I go, hey, why don't you get one and I'll get the other
and we can have a try and all good.
But see, I would say that to Torbs.
I'd be like, oh, the steak looks awesome and so does this pasta.
Do you want to get – and then we can kind of share.
Breakfast isn't really a time for that though.
I think that a dinner or a lunch or a big tapas thing,
it's like a bit different.
But breakfast, like, no, I'm going to eat my own porridge.
Thank you so much.
Yeah, get your little.
Like I'm probably not going to share my.
Get your grimy spoon out of my oats.
Yeah, like, oh, I've got to try lattes.
Do you want to try that as well?
Can I sip some of that hollandaise off your egg?
Yeah.
That sounds like a sex thing.
Yes, you can.
Yes.
Yes, absolutely.
But so awkward slash not awkward.
If you've got anything like that, we're going to do it again tomorrow.
So on today's episode.
I want to know what people think about ordering the same thing
because, yeah, who gives a fuck?
But I just had no idea that you weren't allowed.
I don't want to throw Sophie under the bus.
Oh, here we go.
Hit me
With a bus
I feel like we didn't need to tell Tony about this
You know what I mean?
Protect me from these things
Ignorance is bliss, we've shattered the glass
I made the incorrect assumption
That she already had this anxiety
No, that's fair, that is fair
So Sophie thought she was doing me a favour by being like
And by the way babe, don't worry if you are worried about that.
Don't stress.
If she knew, I like that, getting on the front foot.
Yeah.
But now that we know she doesn't know, which I agree is surprising,
but now that we know that, I'm like, fuck,
we could have just let that dog lie, couldn't we?
Yeah, but now that I know and now that I know not to worry about it.
Yeah, but you will.
No, because I always add stuff.
I'm an adder.
So even when I go, yeah, I'll have the same thing, oh,
but can you pop the thing on as well?
Or, Tony, you could just do what you did on that day and order first.
Yeah, that's a power move.
Yeah, I did.
I did jump in.
I snaked her.
I fucking snaked her.
And then you had to awkwardly do the.
She snaked me.
Yeah, I said, yeah.
And then Sophie, like a meek little bitch.
Yes, mummy, I'll have the burger too.
That's what she was like.
Sorry.
That was so intrusive.
Let that out, you guys.
Let's go and get grilled, the two of us.
Yeah.
And I'm going to order first.
Yep.
And just hope I order the same as you.
But you won't because I add stuff on.
Like you could never replicate what I order.
But he is the ultimate power play.
So imagine if I kind of know probably what you're going to get.
Yeah.
What do you think I'm going to get?
I told you my order only the other day.
Or do you go, I'll have the Zen Hen and then I go, yeah,
I'll get the Mighty Melbourne and you go, actually, two of those.
So how many burgers do you have in there?
Yeah, so what, three or?
So say if I think you're getting the Hen Zen.
Zen Hen.
Zen Hen.
And I go, I'll get the Zen Hen and let's see if my mate Tony
has an original idea.
And then you all go, ah, ah, ah, ah.
The Z head up with carrot.
Yeah, just to make it a bit different.
Yeah, five cougars, thanks.
Five.
I don't know if people outside of Australia get that joke.
It doesn't matter.
But that is.
Doesn't matter.
The funniest thing you've ever said.
It was very good, wasn't it?
Oh, just the panic. It's the good, wasn't it? Just the panic.
It's the panic, isn't it?
Should we remake that ad?
But at Griehood?
Five cent hints, thanks.
No, Karen.
Thanks so much for listening.
Oh, no, we're not finished yet.
We're not finished.
And I've got a great You Love To See It that I want to share.
Okay, go.
Sorry, I've fucking hit the wall.
I know, mate. You're not well. And this has a great you love to see it that I want to share. Okay, go. Sorry, I've fucking hit the wall. I know, mate.
You're not well.
And this has been like a 40-day sickness.
I am.
Poor thing.
I had a lot of cough syrup before.
Don't say that.
Okay.
Yep.
We don't say that.
You had the appropriate amount.
You had a dose before.
I actually just had the appropriate amount.
But it sounds bad.
Yeah, it does.
It does.
And we joked that like, oh, you might get a bit loopy.
I actually am getting loopy.
Yeah, feeling a bit kooky.
Yeah, you've got to have a bit of a lie down after this.
A little bit, yeah.
Yeah, no, that's okay.
Am I allowed milk yet?
No, not for probably a year or so.
Ryan, you've been allergic to dairy for 37 years.
Yeah, actually, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, probably lay off.
No wonder you're sick.
You're having things that you know don't agree with you.
Lane Cox is having a baby.
Big tap out, Lane Cox.
Great guy.
Congratulations, Lane.
He sent a message in Patreon.
Hey, guys, I'm really behind on the pod recently because we've been so busy
getting ready to have a baby.
Congratulations, Lane.
I know Ryan can relate when I say we've been trying for several years
and it finally happened.
We'll have our baby girl, Harper the Tarper.
Oh, yes, please.
Here in October and wanted to share with you guys,
listening to the pod and having the community has been a really big,
it's been a really big help with the ups and downs of everything
and we couldn't have made it,
I'm assuming the baby, without you guys.
Yeah.
No, Lane means his erection.
That's what I meant.
Yeah, the actual baby.
I couldn't have made it without you guys.
Yeah, yeah.
But Harper the tarpa, she's going to be here in October.
That is going to be the most loved baby not just by their parents
but by the whole tarp community.
And because every time there's been a baby TARP are born,
it has been like a huge moment in the Facebook group.
Do you remember our first twins, our first TARP twins?
The goats?
No, no, no.
The actual human twins.
The human twins.
Do you remember those people had two goats and named them Tony and Ryan?
Is that a compliment?
Yeah.
We can't decide.
No, no, no.
So we've had a few babies in our time.
Yeah, we have.
But very exciting, Lane.
Congratulations to you and your partner.
It's so exciting.
Now, some people think Reddit is the cesspool of the internet.
Oh, make sure I've gone second.
Yeah, no, yours was a real feel-good, good finish offer,
and here we are.
But this person saw that there was a bee in their kitchen.
Oh, my God.
And it wasn't, like, flying, but it, like, wasn't dead.
And it was kind of just, like, laying there.
Oh, yeah.
And they're like, oh, poor little fella.
Like, what's going on?
Yeah.
So the person takes a photo and then posts it on Reddit and goes,
what's going on here?
And then, are you watching that video?
I am.
So they gave the bee some sweetened water and it flew away.
Oh, so it just needed some fuel.
Yeah, and someone on Reddit replied and goes, oh, yeah,
they're just like out of gas, bro.
So a bit of sugar or honey in water and just like put it in the bee,
let it drink it up, and then the bee drinks the sweet water
and flies off and has a beautiful life.
I'm just watching it have a little drink now because hashtag save the bees.
Oh, that bee's loving that water i'm proud to say i went
from fearing bees to helping one oh doesn't that make you feel good about that's really beautiful
and you're right that does bring you back to reddit and go you know what good people on board
that's really sweet how do you feel about the thought of just, because the bee's small and there's like a lot of honey water,
wouldn't it be nice just to have like a bath of honey water?
Yeah, or Diet Coke.
Like I'm just thinking about if I was just lolling around
in a big inflatable up above ground pool.
We could probably do that if you really wanted to.
But do you know what I mean? Like I'm just thinking like what's your favourite thing and just heaps of Diet Coke. We could probably do that if you really wanted to. But do you know what I mean?
I'm just thinking like what's your favourite thing and just enjoy it.
Swimming around in the hollandaise sauce.
You would stay still though because it's so thick.
Oh, you'd drown.
You'd probably just hit the bottom.
No, no.
You would try and jump into it and you would just stay still.
That's a really sweet story. It is a really sweet story. Yeah. Oh, thank you for sharing that. Thank still. That's a really sweet story.
It is a really sweet story.
Yeah.
Oh, thank you for sharing that.
Thank you.
That's from Ryan.
He's a sweet guy.
He also may have also submitted a confession earlier today.
I don't think he did.
You might have submitted it, but we definitely haven't read it.
Read it?
Read it.
Oh, yeah.
Anyway, we're back tomorrow with hopefully more Awkward Not Awkward.
Look at this cut on my finger.
I ripped a bit of the nail off.
I thought you said, look at this Carla Conti on my finger.
And I was like, you've really lost it.
Oh, cut.
Yes.
Oh.
I should get this one.
We'll be back tomorrow.
I just showed Tony my middle finger.
Fucking hell. We're going. We Tony my middle finger Fucking hell We're going
We're going
Love you
We're going
Bye