Toni and Ryan - New Year, New Toni (again)
Episode Date: January 7, 2024HOONNEEYYYYY, WE'RE HOOOOMEEE!!! Welcome to 2024 BABY! New year, new me! Love ya! Toni xoxoCheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRy...an on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Author Tony Lodge,
and we are calling Glasgow, Scotland, and we're calling Kate.
Scotland.
Ring, ring.
Hello.
Hello, Kate. It's Tony and Ryan. How are you doing?
Oh, I'm fantastic, Ryan. How are you?
Oh, hello, Kate. Sorry, I don't know how to do the voice.
Sorry, Kate. Would you describe that as racist, Kate?
I'm going to like talk your the voice. Sorry, Kate. Would you describe that as racist, Kate? I'm going to let Tony away with that.
Thank you.
Just because I love her.
Love you too, Kate.
Now, Tony, you and Kate have something in common.
We're both Scottish.
You both love crafting.
Kate is a fellow crafter.
Oh, I do love crafting.
What are you working on at the moment, Kate? I love crafting. Kate is a fellow crafter. Oh, I do love crafting. What are you working on at the moment, Kate?
I love crafting.
I'm making a cross-stitch of Fox of Patriarchy for my best friend.
Oh, cool.
Very cool.
Ryan has no idea what you just said, by the way.
Yeah, I just nodded politely.
But let me read this out to you, Tony.
Kate says, I have an unhealthy obsession with crafts,
but I never finish anything because of ADHD. I just get distracted. To you, Tony, Kate says, I have an unhealthy obsession with crafts,
but I never finish anything because of ADHD.
I just get distracted.
Would you describe yourself, Tony, as a finisher?
Yeah.
Or are you more of a?
No, not a finisher.
Yeah, you're a starter though.
I am a starter.
I'm so good at starting stuff.
Yeah.
Yeah, and buying everything.
Honestly, I have a full craft bag yeah
a full bag
I mean
can't go wrong
yeah
never
never getting through it
yeah
maybe 2024's the year
yeah maybe
where we buy
even more stuff
Kate will you approve
today's episode
absolutely I will
yay
Kate from Glasgow
and I approve this podcast
Merry New Year
Happy New Year
we're back
haven't bloody recorded
a podcast since last year
we'll get to those jokes
real soon.
Thanks for joining us.
Coming up today.
Hope you had a great break, everyone.
Yeah, hope you had a great break.
Actually, let's just dive straight in because at the start of 2022,
Tony came in hot after going to the river over Christmas.
I did.
You were a river girl.
River girl.
She was a river girl.
And I was at one with Nature, connected to the Nature.
And basically I was a Nature girl. Yeah. Nature river girl. And I was at one with Nature, connected to the Nature, and basically I was a Nature girl.
Yep.
Nature river girl.
The river is so cold.
Yeah.
Yep.
That's all I've brought with me.
Just 24 is remembering that the river was really cold.
Well, 2023 you came in hot and said you're going to slay the day.
Which I believe that I continued to do.
How many days did you slay in 2023?
I think that I slayed every day.
And sometimes the slay was just a little slay,
but most of the time it was I just wanted to take every day by the balls.
You know how people say that?
You know how tech bros get real deep into the numbers?
Like they love to have like a goal and a specific stat and stuff.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
This one guy was like, if I slay 200 days per year, like I'm ahead.
So the slay KPI was 200, 365.
What was your slay KPI?
100%.
And did you hit 365?
Yeah.
And you hit 365.
Basically Microsoft Office.
Yeah, you are.
Because I'm 365.
I didn't.
No, we did Microsoft gags.
I do.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's what I'm bringing into 2020, Phil.
Well, that's my question, I guess, is what are you bringing into 2024?
Have you had your annual epiphany?
Annual epiphany.
See, I like that.
Can we call it the annual epiphany?
I have personally set a number of, like, things that I would like to achieve,
but they're less KPI-based and more, like, happiness-based. Like, I want to do more things that I'd like to achieve, but they're less KPI based and
more like happiness based. Like I want to do more things that I, yeah, but I don't want to measure
it because then I don't want to feel bad if I don't hit it. Historically I haven't. Yeah. What
about a KHI? A key happiness indicator. Yeah. See, I like that. I'll go with KHI. Can you give
us some examples? Well, so I did set a goal that this year I want to read 20 books.
That's a very specific measurable.
Yeah.
And where are we up to?
I'm up to three out of 20.
That's a fucking good start.
Thank you.
That's a red hot start.
I'd hate for you to still be on five in June.
No.
Someone write that down.
Still on three in June, do you mean?
Still on five?
Oh, yeah.
Is your fucking 2024 proclamation that you know you're going
to listen to me?
No, mine.
No, no, but, like, I mean, I'd hate for you to not keep
this momentum up is what I'm saying.
Yeah, I see what you mean.
So it'll be June 9, you'll go five, and you'll go,
oh, okay, 15 to go on the back up.
Yeah, I'm still going.
I've still got time.
I've seen a few people online, and I don't know if I think
this is dumb or hilarious.
Some things can be both like me.
That's what I mean.
You are both about hilarious.
Yeah.
Fucking a bit hilarious.
But smart.
Yeah.
But also, yeah.
I saw a few people like on the 27th of December get a bit like,
oh, I said this year I was going to read this many books
or run this many Ks, so the next four days they're like running
and reading at the same time.
Oh, that's funny.
That's very funny.
It is good.
I did also say that I wanted to run five kilometres this year.
Oh.
Like consecutively, not like across the year.
I'll run three metres a day.
But all together it would have been five Ks.
So Bert Kreischner and Tom Segura have just announced they're going to do a 5K.
Oh, really?
And then a lot of their fans are like, yeah, I'll do the 5K with you
and like they're doing a whole thing.
That's good.
So does this come from them?
No.
Because I know you're a big Two Bears fan.
I am a big Two Bears, One Cave fan.
Yeah.
Two Bears and One Cave.
No, it wasn't based on that.
Just because like I would love to get into running
and I think that a 5K goal is, like, over the year,
like, I think is quite doable.
Should we right now lock in a 5K?
Or, like, to run a, like, fun run or something.
Not a 10 or a 20 or a marathon or anything stupid like that.
Yeah, see, I'm not, like, going to push myself into being like,
I'll run a marathon this year because I know that I can't physically do that.
Okay.
But I think that I could run 5Ks.
Yeah, I reckon you could too.
Yeah, like, because I've got the Catch to 5K app.
I've got the Kick, like, 0 to 5K program.
Oh, no one's doubting your ability to collect apps.
But I'm just like, you know, that's like a common amount.
It's like a low amount that I could go from zero to five
and I think I could do it.
When by?
This is just for the year.
But as in like if we, the Melbourne Marathon's in October
and no, but the marathon has the marathon, the half, the 10,
the five, whatever.
Oh, is there a five in that?
The five might be like a walk because it's a bit like,
oh, you want to run that, do you?
Yeah, why not?
No.
No, don't be a dick.
No, I'm not.
But I'm just saying there might, because sometimes the lower ones are like mums with prams and
stuff like that.
But we will find a five.
I'm saying like-
Don't be a dick about the 5K.
I'm not being a dick.
I'll do it with you.
You are because you're being like, oh, who wants to run 5K?
No, that's what I'm, if anyone's being a dick,
it's the people at Melbourne Marathon.
No, I think that there'd be people that wanted to run a 5.
Or what's like, what's park run?
Is that a thing?
That's weekly.
What's the HBF run for a reason?
Is that only in WA?
Yeah, but we can fly over.
Yeah.
But again, check.
A travelling athlete.
Oh, my God.
Yeah, and then we're in the airport in your tracksuit.
What I'm getting at is the Melbourne Marathon's October,
so is that like if we've got something to aim for?
Do you think that would be reasonable?
Well, I think.
It's January 8th right now.
What I'm getting at, I think, is if we have something to aim for
and lock a date in, it's more likely to happen than you just going,
oh, at some stage I might get around to it.
Okay, all I'm going to say, New York walk.
We had a date.
No, I was just thinking that.
And then that didn't happen.
We locked in that date.
We didn't train though.
One of us didn't.
Both of us didn't.
I was doing calf exercises all year.
Watch the live stream back.
Okay, no.
You went to the fucking, what is it called?
I always get them mixed up.
The podiatrist three times.
That was your training.
Come on, mate.
Monthly for three months.
For three months.
Thank you.
Look, well, maybe, could we chat about it in the comments today?
Maybe if people know that there's like a kind 5K.
Yeah, I like that.
Like a less bro-y, not timed, no winners.
Yeah, like maybe if Steph and Laura were putting on a 5K,
I would do that.
Nah, they're too fit.
Nah, because they've got like a really nice community.
What if we did a tarp 5K?
I just think we should do our own 5K.
Let's report back.
But I like where we're at.
I think that's really fun.
I like where we're at.
Yeah.
All right, so this is a really hot start to the year.
Yeah, it is a really hot start to the year.
And the other thing that I started that I was thinking,
I was like, I've always got a big proclamation.
I want to come in and start the year really fucking hot
and just like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
So last night I'm like prepped a green smoothie to have
for breakfast this morning because I never eat breakfast.
It's like so bad.
And then at midday I ate like eight kilos of food
because I haven't eaten anything. To make up for it. And then I don't want ate like eight kilos of food because I haven't eaten anything.
To make up for it.
And then I don't want to eat dinner until like midnight because I had such a big lunch.
And it like really screws my whole day and it's such a mess.
Anyway, and so I prepped a green smoothie.
I like laid out all my clothes.
I'm like, oh, big first day at work tomorrow.
Like going to, you know, start as I mean to go on.
Pack my bag.
Set my alarm for seven so I could do like a little meditation before I like had a shower
and got ready for work and like left at 7.30.
Wow.
And so Torbs is still on holidays right now.
Yeah.
And because he's got like a few things to do.
I was like, oh, he's got his license, but we only have one car.
Yeah.
And so I was like, oh, if you don't mind, can you drop me off at work?
I know. Hot girl behavior. off at work? I know.
Hot girl behaviour.
Hot boyfriend behaviour.
I know.
So I'm like picturing me with like my green juice like in the passenger seat.
Passenger seat.
I thought you'd be in the back seat like, driver, just off to the workplace, please.
Yes, actually.
I wind up the partitions between the two of us.
In your hatchback.
Yeah.
Anyway, and like so I'm like so pumped.
Torb's also got up at seven to like have a shower. He's like making himself a coffee orback. Yeah. Anyway, so I'm, like, so pumped. Torb's also got up at 7 to, like, have a shower.
He's, like, making himself a coffee or whatever.
So I organized Pippa's breakfast.
I'm, like, ready for the year, ready for the day.
Pick up Pippa's breakfast.
Pick up my, sorry, organize Pippa's breakfast.
Pick up my bag and my smoothie.
Alex is holding his wallet and stuff.
I walk out the front door.
Torb puts Pippa's breakfast down and he follows behind me,
like shuts the front door as I'm like out near the car.
And I'm like waiting for him to open the car as he's walking over
and he doesn't.
I'm like, hey, like can you unlock the car?
And he says, you've got the keys.
And I was like, no.
Nope.
You're driving.
You've got the keys.
You're driving.
To be fair, it's the drivers.
The keys are always the driver's responsibility.
He didn't know this because he hasn't driven for his whole fucking life,
but now he's learning.
You're driving, so, like, you've got the keys.
Neither of us have the keys.
And Pippa's driving. Pippa's got the keys. She's like, no, no, no. Come on, guys, you've got the keys. Neither of us have the keys. And Pippa's driving.
Pippa's got the keys.
She's like, no, no, no, no. Come on, guys, get in.
And so the door locks.
Like, the door has a deadlock.
It doesn't have, like, a.
Your door's pretty fucked up.
It is.
Well, it's good for security because no one can get the fuck in or out of it.
Well, yeah, but it doesn't have a handle.
Like, it's just flat on the front.
There's just, like, the keyhole.
Like, you can't even, like, jimmy it back open or whatever.
It is locked.
Like, the door's never been more locked in its life.
Did you start your working year, did you have to jump in the back fence and break in or something?
Well, so Torb's, like, jumps the back fence immediately.
And I'm like, bro, the back doors are locked, obviously.
Like.
Yeah.
Whose doors aren't locked?
Like, obviously they're locked. He are locked, obviously. Like whose doors aren't locked?
Like obviously they're locked.
He's like, fuck.
And then he's on top of the fence as I'm like telling him like the doors are definitely locked.
Anyway, and I was like, all right, look, I'm really sorry,
but I've got to get to work.
So I start ordering an Uber because I'm like, well,
what am I going to do?
Fight or flight.
Tony, I'm getting a flight to work.
See you later.
Torb sounds like your problem. No, well, because I was like, well, what am I going to do? Fight or flight. Tony, I'm getting a flight to work. See you later. Torb sounds like your problem.
No, well, because I was like, I need to leave now.
The Tarpers need an episode.
And we can't get into the house.
So I was like, you know what?
Rather than stand here and go like, oh, why can't we get in the house?
I'm like, I'm just going to go to work.
Do you mind calling a locksmith?
Would you say work's about, ooh, 5Ks from your house?
Put a jog.
If only. My goal this year was to do, 5Ks from your house. Put a jog. Finally.
My goal this year was to do a 5K and fucking guess who rolled it
on the first day of work.
And anyway, so he's with the locksmith like now.
Yep.
So you did get an Uber to work?
Yeah, so I got an Uber to work.
Oh, fuck.
Yeah.
Right.
With my green juice and my packed bag.
Oh, I bet.
I like jump in this Uber and I'm like, hey, bro.
He's like, hey, like, good morning.
And I was like, hmm, isn't it?
A business lady with her green juice who's fit and healthy
and going to the workplace.
And then, yeah, so apparently it's, like,
the hardest locker guys ever tried to drill out.
I can confirm it is because I've come to your house.
It's a nightmare.
Yeah.
I go, I'm here, and you go, come in.
I go, well.
And Torbs just texts me and he couldn't just unpick it.
So they've had to drill out and replace it.
Is that because you got those dumb electric swiper things?
No, we don't have those yet.
That would have been easier because we could have just put a keypad in
and then we wouldn't have needed a key.
Anyway, $850.
Fucking see you later.
Are you fucking kidding me?
I'm not even joking.
You know who's slaying the day? $850. Australian. you later. Are you fucking kidding me? I'm not even joking. You know who's slaying the day?
$850.
Australian.
Australian.
You know, yeah.
Lower than you exist.
You know who's slaying the day in 2024?
That guy.
Lock Smith.
He's doing great.
Real good.
Killing it.
He's like, if only this happened before Christmas,
could have bought my kids awesome shit.
Yeah, they could have both.
I've given this lock as well.
Shit.
$850.
$850, like on the spot.
When I lived in Bunbury in the little apartment,
we were faced with a similar conundrum and I got real stuck.
As soon as I called them, they go, yeah, it's the call-out fees too.
And I was like, you know what, mate?
I reckon I've got this.
Oh, no, because then you've got to call them two hours later
and go, actually, yeah, could you come over?
So I'm there with my roommate Redders and I go, Redders,
I can't call these guys back.
We've got to figure this out.
We just got home.
We'd been out to a party.
So we had like a six pack in our hands and I was like,
we've got three beers each.
We've already had 27.
We'll figure this out.
So we're like trying to boot the door in, trying to do it.
Because I'm like, oh, how much does it replace a door?
A hundred bucks?
It's way cheaper than a locksmith.
I don't think that is true.
Yeah, well, research the next day would have confirmed
that it's actually probably cheaper to get a locksmith.
Definitely.
But Redders, being the...
The MacGyver.
MacGyver slash confident drunk that he is,
scaled the outside of the apartment building.
So he climbed up the first, like, into the first level's apartment.
Yeah.
And then from there climbed up, because we were on the third floor,
and climbed up the outside, like, of the apartment building,
like, and just climbed up and then just walked in the balcony
and came and opened the door from the inside.
Cop that, locksmith.
Yeah. I'll keep my, locksmith. Yeah.
I'll keep my cash.
Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah, well, our back door was locked.
Yeah, because you're not a fuckhead.
Yeah.
Oh, they're on the third floor.
Who could get up there?
Turns out anyone.
Well, yeah.
I've seen red as they're not.
Yeah, red as he could.
Yeah.
Just got a quick one here from John, who's not me,
but like me, is not a big fan of the see you next year gear,
which I...
I'm off, John.
First of all, everyone was loving your reel, your TikTok.
Thank you.
Thanks for everyone who tagged me in it or sent it to me.
I already saw it.
Don't keep sending it.
Already saw it.
I was going to add you as a collaborator.
You know how you can like cross post?
No, no, no.
He would hate that so much.
No, I would fucking hate that.
John says, saying see you next year on December 31.
Corny, annoying, everyone hates you.
Saying see you next year on January 31.
Mysterious.
Are they going on a long trip?
Do they not understand how New Year's works?
So, you know, maybe we'll try that out.
I know you tried last year.
Oh, I'm pushing the boat out again.
Happy New Year.
Yeah.
I'll be saying it at the 5K in October.
I should cross the line.
Happy New Year!
What was the record last year?
March. I was thinking of March.
Yeah.
Because it was the weekend I got COVID.
I actually literally, that was karma, I reckon.
Yeah, sucking.
Just saying Happy New Year's in March, I got COVID.
All right, well, we'll test that out this year.
So good luck.
Hey, it's Kate from Glasgow and you're listening to Tony and Ryan.
Yeah. Tune in, Ryan.
A massive shout out to a few of our champion tapas over at our Patreon.
Tapas, Tony and Ryan podcast.
Sarah Westerholm.
Good on you, Sarah.
Thank you.
Will Knight.
Will Day. Tessa Bird. Will Day is actually my favourite footballer. And that, Sarah. Thank you. Will Knight. Will Day.
Tessa Bird.
Will Day is actually my favourite footballer.
And that's really crazy that you've said that.
In fact, I think you've met Will Day.
Did I?
Because you know how we share our podcast space with the AFL podcast? So all these like immaculate, awesome athletes come through.
And Tony is.
And I'm like, okay.
Although the reverse happened because someone from the Real Housewives of Melbourne came on.
Yeah, and I was like into the office and I was like, oh, my God,
don't you know who this is?
And Ryan was like, nah.
And I was like, this is how I feel when you tell me about the AFL players
that come in.
Who was it for those playing along at home?
It was Jackie Gillies.
Okay.
Yeah.
If anyone's a Silverchair fan, it's been Gillies' wife.
Pretty cool.
Anyway, Tessa Bird, not a bird guy.
I'm not interested in that, Tessa.
Keep yourself to yourself.
Elizabeth Hatch.
She's also a bird guy.
Hutch, like a bird Hutch.
I thought the egg is hatched and the bird.
Oh, that's funny.
Thank you.
Elizabeth Hatch, good on you.
And Shay.
That was close.
Today in Patreon, actually, Tony, can you just,
I was going to say take your headphones off.
You're not wearing any.
Just block your ears for a second.
In Patreon today, for all tears,
there's a secret Ryan project taking place that Tony isn't allowed to know about.
She knows that I'm doing something,
but she's not allowed to see the details and I've already said too much.
Go and check it out.
Righto.
I genuinely can't hear anything when I do that. You know, like it's not like I'm like, oh, I can't hear. I genuinely can't hear anything when I do that.
It's not like I'm like, oh, I can't hear.
I actually can't hear anything.
You're in your own world over there.
I am.
I am.
And it's a great world, and I'll tell you for why.
Please.
So I need to show you something that I post on Instagram.
I'm not sure if you've already seen it.
It's good gear over on my Instagram.
On December 29, I posted this Instagram story.
Do you recall?
Bad day to be this box of favorites,
which is like just the classic mixed chocolates box here in Australia.
In the UK, I believe they're called Heroes, Cadbury Heroes.
And they are heroes.
That's a good name.
With a bow that I bought in case a neighbour dropped around
with a Christmas present.
So I would like.
You didn't want to give them your book?
Well, I got told that I wasn't allowed to give books to neighbours.
My book.
Yeah, this is very.
Our book would be fine, but not my book.
Yeah.
So I posted this because this is something that my mum always used to do.
So hang on, can you explain that to me real quick?
Do you want to listen?
Please.
So this is something my mum used to do.
Into 2024, listening to your podcast host.
Thank you.
Go host.
The host.
Yeah, the host of the show.
My mum used to do this, right?
And so we had like a bunch of just-in-case presents because like back in the day when I was a kid, people used to drop in heaps.
You know how that's like not – we've talked about this before, I think.
It's not really a thing now, but like as a kid, there would always be someone dropping in for coffee or lunch or something.
And around Christmas time, everyone's on holiday, so you know everyone's home.
And so people would drop in.
And if they came with a gift, mum would go, oh, thank you so much.
We got you something too.
Tony, go grab Lorraine's present.
And I would go and then I would like write Lorraine on the tag,
but it would already say like love from the Lodge family or whatever.
Oh, so it's a different handwriting for Lorraine and.
Or maybe I would do all of them in case I was the one that had to go and get it.
You claimed to be MacGyver eight minutes ago.
You're better than that.
No, I said Redders was MacGyver.
Oh, so yeah, true.
Well, Redders could have written the notes.
And like, and then we'd be like, oh, Lorraine, like this is when we got you.
And it would be like, so then you would never be like, oh, I didn't get you anything.
There would just always be like four or five like, you know,
tins of those butter biscuits or box of favourites or whatever.
Favourites is a classic.
And so when I was doing my food shopping for Christmas Day,
my sister and I were at the shops together and I was like,
oh, because of our new neighbours who just moved into a new neighbourhood,
I was like I feel like this would be the perfect time if people did want
to come around and say hey.
It's like an easy time because you go, oh, Merry Christmas,
like grab you a bottle of wine or a box of chocolates or biscuits
or something like that.
And I was like, just in case, I should grab some stuff.
And my sister Libby, such an over-caterer, such a like people please
the same as me, she's like, absolutely.
So I bought three boxes of favourites.
the same as me.
She's like, absolutely.
So I bought three boxes of favourites.
So don't you think they would know, like if they rocked up unannounced and you went, oh, I got you something too and got a box of favourites,
I reckon they know, oh, they've pulled out a just-in-case present.
But I think that's okay because if I went to someone's house.
If I just encased you, though, would you be like, oh,
he's just encased me?
But, like, if I went to your house and I went, oh,
and we just grabbed you a bottle of wine or something, right,
and you went, oh, we grabbed you something as well, just something small,
I think that's okay.
And especially if it's someone that you don't know very well
or have never met, which in my case was what I was, like, preparing for.
So, anyway, I post this on my Instagram story.
My inbox was completely divided, like 50-50.
I got a lot of people swearing at me being like,
who the fuck is just dropping over?
First of all, great call.
And then other people being like, I always do this
because I know people don't drop in and then I get to eat them.
Genius.
Which is quite smart.
Yep, another great call. Who are these smart people just hanging drop in and then I get to eat them. Genius. Which is quite smart. Yep. Another great call.
Who are these smart people just hanging out in your inbox?
People that listen to this podcast, you know.
Great call.
Bah.
So I buy these on like the 23rd of December,
pop a big bow on them and put them under the tree just in case.
Yeah.
How long do they last?
Knock on the door.
Bullshit.
Late on the 24th of December.
That's a brave. Jeez, that's potential family time right there.
Oh, yeah, it is.
Like some people are having dinners there and you're just going to roll up on Christmas Eve?
Yeah, Christmas Eve, like in the afternoon, Christmas Eve.
Was it Santa?
That's funny.
That's very funny.
He's like, favourites again, just leave some milk in.
Yeah, he's like, babe, where's the carrot for the radio?
Carrots, get the carrots out.
No, it was not Santa. Just leave some milk in. Yeah, he's like, babe, where's the carrot? Get the carrot, Santa. No, it was not Santa.
He came later, obviously.
But this lady, Jess, who lives down the street,
and she comes around and she's got this festive little gift bag.
And she goes, hey, like I know we haven't met yet,
but like just wanted to come and introduce myself
and drop off a Christmas present.
Get absolutely fucked.
First of fucking all, is that not the most beautiful and wholesome thing you've ever
heard in your whole entire goddamn life?
Pour one out for Jess.
Jess and Duke from down the street.
Yeah.
Good on you guys.
Yep.
What was the father's name?
Jess and Duke.
Jess and Duke.
Fuck.
And anyway, so she comes down and she's like, yeah.
And she's like, oh my God, did you just let me swallow?
And I was like, oh, I got you something as well.
Jess, that I knew that your name was that and where you lived.
No, so it's just got the bow and it doesn't have a tag or anything.
And then she goes, oh, you don't have to do that.
And I said, look, we're new to the street.
I didn't know if people did presents and I really didn't want to be the Grinch
that didn't have anything.
So I bought a few boxes just in case people dropped around.
And she went, that is so thoughtful.
That is thoughtful.
Now in this context, that is actually quite nice.
Yeah.
So then I had some, and even though it was just small and just like a token gift, it's still lovely.
Do you think, so with favourites, like the box of chocolates.
Yeah.
It's what you bring when you're told not to bring a thing.
Absolutely.
I actually think that in this circumstance, when she goes,
oh, you don't have to, that's when you go, hey,
do you want to crack them together?
Like it's a festive thing.
Like when you take around a bowl of wine,
you're not like just giving the wine.
Sometimes like do you want to drink the wine together?
Yeah, oh, let's have a Turkish delight in the driveway, you know?
Well, Jess can have the Turkish delights.
Oh, I like them.
Really?
Yeah, so that's why we're a good team because I'll eat those
and you can have the other shit.
Yeah, I've got a box of favourites at home and it's just in the bottom
there's like two peppermints and two Turkish delights.
Well, you can keep your peppermints but I'll take the Turkish delight.
Okay, that's good to know.
But did she just take the box and fuck off though?
No, we were chatting in the, so we were standing like at the front door
and I said, please come in.
And she went, oh, that's okay.
Like I'm not trying to just, because it was Christmas Eve.
But we chatted in the doorway for like 15 minutes maybe.
That's too long in the doorway.
That's the real issue.
So it did get on.
After six years, like please take a seat.
But I'd already said, do you want to come in?
She went, no.
So I didn't want to like push her coming.
Do you know what I mean?
What you should have done is breadcrumbed the favourites to the couch.
Just slowly.
No, like put one on the floor like a metre in front of her.
She's not a puppy.
And then she'll come and get that one and you go, oh, there's another one.
And then like three chocolates in.
You're like, oh, you're already at the couch.
Yeah, oh, my God.
Should we crack that bottle of wine?
But so because the door was open.
The flies are coming in.
The hot air is coming through.
Oh, of course.
I'm holding Pippa.
So for like 15 minutes.
She's trying to get out.
She doesn't.
No, she's not wriggling around or anything.
That's a long time to hold a dog.
That's a long time to hold like a 10 kilo, 9 kilo dog, you know.
If I've had that one for like 40 seconds, I'm like.
It's pretty fucking hot.
Yeah.
I'm like holding the present.
I'm holding Pippa.
Alex is there.
The AC's on blowing cold air straight out the door.
Straight out the door.
My bloody electricity bill is through the roof.
I'll have to ask her to chip in.
You know, we don't have solar.
Jess had her door open and she was trying to get your air con to air.
Go straight free.
Tease her.
Times are tough, mate.
I respect it.
Times are tough.
But no, and then so, oh, well, that's worked out perfectly then.
And then because I got to, you know, get a win.
Yeah.
With giving the gift.
What did she give you again?
So she gave me this beautiful little festive bag.
It had almond biscotti in it and like a big block of that,
you know, Tony's Chocolony?
It's like $12 a bar.
I'm like, fuck, they're doing all right out there.
Tony's Chocolony?
Have you ever seen that chocolate?
No.
So it's like a big bar.
It's like this.
Yeah.
And it's just like artisanal chocolate.
Yeah, delicious.
But it's like real groovy looking.
Did you feel that your favourites were then quite basic?
No, because I was like, you know what?
In there there's something for everyone. I could be allergic to almonds. She doesn't know. Yeah, because I was like, you know what? In there, there's something for everyone.
I could be allergic to almonds.
She doesn't know.
Yeah, she doesn't know.
You know what I mean?
Maybe she does.
Her favourite's pretty safe.
Mary.
I'm like the president.
She's come to kill me.
It's anthrax.
There's no cookies in there at all.
I haven't opened them yet.
But she's like, I really hope you're allergic to nuts.
And then for a Christmas present for yourself, did you enjoy the other two boxes of favourites?
See, this is the thing. See, because I get the win of giving that to somebody, then I get to eat those
parking lots by myself because I go, wow, I did a good thing. I actually also got a just in case
present. I got some Suzuki Jimny t-shirts just
ready to go. No one came over.
How was that a just in case present?
I ordered that for you.
No, no, no.
I got more.
What do you mean?
Because I love mine so much.
I was like, it'd be rude to gatekeep the Jimmy T-shirts.
I wouldn't share these with people.
Why would you be nasty about my gift?
I wore it with pride.
In fact, I'm annoyed I was actually planning on wearing it today.
It looked really good on you.
It was a good fit.
Yeah, some thirsty comments.
I don't know if it was the angle of the shot or I didn't bring it. It looked really good on you. It was a good fit. Yeah, some thirsty comments there.
I don't know if it was the angle of the shot or something.
Yeah, it was a good photo, I think.
I think it's just the shirt.
Yeah, true.
It makes everyone look good.
So do you feel vindicated now in the success?
Well, yeah, because people were like, oh, my God, who's just dropping around?
And I was like, do I have a story for you?
And I was like, I'm going to tell that on the podcast and make everybody eat their words.
And I got to eat the favorites. So so I mean, who's really winning here?
Yeah, eating words and favourites
fucking sucked in everyone else.
And I have a You Love To See It, which occurred
around the same time as I was eating
the... Did you love to see
it favourites? Because that would... Yeah, I mean
standing ovation for
favourites in general. But I
watched this movie over the break that I have not
stopped talking about to everybody
that I've met.
And I'm like, have you watched this film?
I've got a recommendation.
Please.
Have you seen Bad Times at the El Royale?
No.
Oh my God.
I watched it on the holiday, right?
Yeah.
Netflix?
Theaters?
It's actually like, I think it's from like 2018 or 2019.
It's like a couple of years old.
Yeah.
I think we watched it on like maybe Binge or Stan or something.
It is such a good movie.
It's a bit of a whodunit, like mystery thriller.
I love a whodunit.
I know.
I think you will like it.
It's a really good movie.
The first recommendation of 2024.
Yeah, and I'm coming in hot.
I think it's really good.
I'll watch it by the end of the week and report back.
Yeah, nice.
I've got to love to see it.
Please.
Tapa Amber.
Hi, Amber.
Had an appointment with a gynecologist.
Oh.
And the gynecologist's name sort of sounded familiar.
I'll just text you their business card.
Okay.
Hang on.
Oh, I mean, if you want an expert down there.
What's the name of the doctor?
Cara Conti.
It's not the Carla Conti.
No.
But she does know Carla Conti's, if you know what I'm saying.
As a gynecologist, I mean, you could say that Carla Conti is the king of Carla Contis.
Amber said, when it comes to my Conti, I'll only trust another Conti.
That's what you want in a gynecologist because it takes a Conti
to know a Conti, and that's what I've got.
And I've always said that.
You've always said that?
Yeah.
Oh, Amber, that's amazing.
I also respect seeing a funny name and getting the photo
because sometimes they know they've got a fucked name
and you don't want to be caught out like taking a photo of the sign.
So the fact that she goes, oh, can I grab a business card?
The business card is classy.
I'll take a photo of that and post it in a Facebook group later today.
Is that for your next appointment?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, just in case I need a call back.
Do you know what?
I just realised I was like, oh, maybe we should have not read out the name,
but that's the funny part.
Yeah, so when you take the name out.
She got a great joke, but for privacy reasons,
you can't share it.
What was the great joke?
Oh, don't worry about it.
Don't worry about it, yeah.
For privacy, we probably shouldn't.
I know, but if you need your Conti checked,
go and call the Complete Women's Care Contis.
Oh, see, like now we've read out where they work
and now where their name is.
Well, to be fair, Tapa Amber posted this in the Tony and Ryan Facebook group.
So it's already out there in the public domain.
Don't shoot the messenger.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, exactly.
I'm just hearing written comments, mate.
Sorry for me and Cara Conti.
Tomorrow, the first confessions of 2024.
I can tell you that one is a confession from a teenage baller.
Baller.
Also, when someone, and they are a baller by name and reputation,
when they like giving a bit of attitude,
do you want me to read it with the attitude in which they are?
Okay.
Yep.
Because they've applied some capital letters and I'm like,
I feel like when you add capitals, you expect me to read that.
The delivery needs to be appropriate.
Cara Conti knows all about delivery.
And how.
Yeah.
And we've also got share house revenge.
Oh, but even better than that, we're hitting our ins and outs.
Yes.
Yes.
So I know that there's a post going in the Facebook group at the moment
for people's ins and outs.
But if you've got any ins and outs,
pop them on today's episode thread.
Yep.
And obviously tomorrow's as well.
So don't burn them all.
Don't just post them on both.
If you don't do it this week, it's over though, so get them out.
Yeah, because 2024, we'll all have forgotten about this by next week.
Hang on, here's a question.
Question.
Just in case gifts not at Christmas.
Nah, because I don't think you've got an excuse
to have it on hand.
Easter eggs.
Easter eggs.
Yeah, I think Easter's fair, but, I mean,
would you drop around to a, like a.
Yeah, nah.
You're not doing a drop in at Easter and going,
oh, you would maybe do it if your neighbours had kids. Yeah, like a little Easter egg hunt and going, oh, just, oh, you would maybe do
it if your neighbours had kids.
Yeah, like a little Easter egg hunt.
Yeah.
And just go, oh, like just for the kids, something nice.
Or would you say, hey guys, I found this in your front yard.
Okay.
Do you think that you could set up an Easter egg hunt in someone else's front yard and
go, just for your kids, I've set up an Easter egg hunt.
Is that creepy?
I'll have to think about that.
Yeah, I'll have to think about that.
Like if you go to the neighbour and you go, mate, I've said.
I've said.
Like are you trying to trap the children?
No, maybe you're bread crumbing someone else's kids back to your house.
And you go, yeah, I've got heaps of Easter eggs.
There's another one over at my house as well.
Or they go, what about my dog?
Like their dogs, they're eating these drinks
Pippa's eating four boxes of favourites
Oh god
She's not shitting solids for the next four weeks
She's dead probably
She ate that much chocolate
Well that's why she doesn't shit with the chips
I mean, many questions to cover
A whole year to cover them
We'll see you tomorrow
Many questions to cover and a whole year to cover them
That was smooth as fucking silk yeah love you ends for 2024 smooth
you and me sorry silk sorry you're not sorry love you bye