Toni and Ryan - Normal or ToowoomNAH
Episode Date: February 22, 2023Normal or Nah - and a breakdown of celebrity Harry Potter houses. Love ya!! Toni xo Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Plus you can find the l...inks to pre-order Toni's book here! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan, author Tony Lodge over there.
And we're going to my old digs in Missouri.
Oh, if she doesn't answer, I'll be Missouri bull.
Get the gold out of the way, I guess, before we call.
Hello?
Paige!
Yes!
Hi, it's Tony Ryan!
Hi!
Hi!
What are you up to, Paige?
Just got off work, getting ready to sit on the couch and cuddle my dog.
The perfect evening. The perfect evening.
The perfect evening.
Whereabouts in Missouri are you?
I live in a town called Green Valley outside of Kansas City.
Is that where you were, Ryan? No, I was on the other side of Missouri.
Can I say, Paige, I don't know if you've experienced anything similar.
One of the greatest party experiences I've had in my life was at Mizzou.
Have you ever been to Mizzou and partied?
I went there for a marching band competition once in high school.
Yep, that sounds like it would have been a real fun time.
I did not get to do so.
Yeah.
No, not really.
I was in a marching band.
He was blowing something.
That wasn't any instrument.
Paige, will you approve this podcast?
Yes, yes, I will.
Good to know we're on the same page.
Made well.
Oh.
Hi, I'm Paige, and I'm from Kansas City, Missouri,
and I approve this podcast.
Yeah. Welcome to the podcast.
Welcome.
Happy Thursday.
Happy Thursday.
Very exciting stuff.
I'm happy to be here.
Are you happy to be here?
Tony's all revved up this morning.
Yep.
Wet for life.
Wet for life.
Hashtag wet for life.
How many days in the last seven
have you been in water? Six.
Really? Yeah, I haven't swum today
yet. Will you get there later today? Yes, I think
so. So that will make it seven out of seven? Yep.
I'm a swimming girl.
You're a wet girl. And I love it.
I love getting wet.
So we keep hearing. Yeah, I want to, yeah.
We'll get to it. We'll get to it. But first up
let's do normal or nah.
Now, this is a really controversial one.
Normal or nah, bagging a car park.
You're about to pull into an empty car park at a busy shopping centre,
but there's a person standing there like, nah, just waiting for my husband.
He's about to come around and park here.
Does that stand up in court?
No.
No, it doesn't. Why would you be in court? No. No, it doesn't.
Why would you be in court under those circumstances?
Small claims.
Yeah.
Small claims tribunal.
Judge Judy, you go to Judge Judy, you go, well, Your Honour,
she was standing in the car park.
So, you know, you're driving down the row and it's busy,
all the car park, and you go.
Yeah, and you're trying to see if you can stalk someone.
Like can you see someone who's coming out with quite a few bags and you think
they're definitely on the way out oh i tell you what's fucking a weird but strangely powerful move
is when you're walking back to the car to drop stuff off knowing you're going back into the
center yeah that's what i said last year they follow you in about petty things sick yeah so
good so when you cruise along and you see a gap and you're like,
we're fucking on here.
Yeah.
Or and then it's a motorbike.
Or just any small car.
Doesn't that fuck you right up.
I used to get fucked off with small cars and then Bridget would be like,
Ryan, you're driving a Toyota Yaris.
You are the small car for every single other person.
But you don't park too far in.
Don't you?
No, like the royal you. You can't park too far in. Don't you? No, like the royal you.
You can't park too far in because then otherwise you're that guy.
But it's when you park all the way forward and then as you're driving down,
you can't see it.
So if I get to a park and I've finally found an empty spot
and some bitch is there saying no,
I reckon you're within your rights to mow her down.
I think so too because so the question is normal or nah?
I'm saying nah because whenever anybody has ever made me do that,
I am sweating bullets worrying that someone is going to walk past
or drive past rather and go, oh, well, you can't do that.
And I go, oh, well, my mum told me to stay here.
Like I don't know what to do.
I reckon whoever's told you to do it,
they're the arsehole in this whole situation.
A hundred percent.
Let's not blame the person in the spot.
No.
Let's not blame the driver who's just trying to pull in
and is mowing people down rightfully and lawfully, Your Honour.
Lawfully.
Let's blame the person who said, hey, can you just go stand over there?
Yeah.
And also, like, patient people procure parking places.
Can you please say that again fast?
Patient people procure parking places.
That is my sister's and I's mantra of parking at Christmas time.
How did you stumble on mantra yet nail the other thing?
Say the piece again.
Patient people procure parking places.
That's my mantra. Mantra.
I think I just popped a kidney trying to do that.
Sorry about that.
Mantra.
Mantra.
Mantra.
So it's a nah.
It's a nah.
Do you know what the other awkward thing is,
which I think is also a dog moves from mums around the world?
Yeah.
Leaving the kids at an orphanage?
Oh, no, sorry, you go.
Well, I was going to say something a bit less dramatic than that.
Okay, we get it.
You're adopted, mate.
Fucking changed the record.
Anyway, not the adoption records, obviously.
It's quite important.
Yeah, obviously. It's quite important. Preserve.
When you are going through the checkout and your mum says,
I just need to get one more thing.
No, you fucking don't, mum.
And then the lady starts scanning the stuff.
Everything's on fire.
You don't know what your name is.
Slow down.
You can't keep doing this.
The conveyor belt's going too fast.
Slow everything down.
My mum is getting milked.
And the woman's throwing the stuff in the bag.
Mum!
I don't have any money.
I can't pay for this. I'm five years old. I don't have any money. I can't pay for this.
I'm five years old.
I don't have a credit card.
You're turning your pockets inside out.
Isn't that trauma for your Thursday morning?
It actually is trauma.
Nothing fucking sends me harder than that.
I actually just can't even deal with it.
Torbs has even done it to me once and I've been like,
I don't have any money.
He's like, oh, good.
I'm like, it's getting closer and closer.
But even if you did have money, do you just pay and then he rocks up
with the singular item and lines up again like a fucking idiot?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And you're like, well, we've already been lining up.
Torbs, how do you think this plays out?
There's a hierarchy here.
The extra thing's never close by
no it's always fucking aisle 12 right down the back yeah actually i might just go get a chicken
but skinned yeah i'm just gonna head to the deli and pick a number yeah oh no you can't you can't
be picking numbers at the deli for a last minute thing i know you've worked in the deli while we're
fucking getting worked up in the supermarket yeah you've been waiting ini for a last minute thing. Sorry, I know you've worked in the deli while we're fucking getting worked
up in the supermarket.
Yeah.
You've been waiting in line for a few minutes.
At the deli.
Yeah, and a few people have come in and blah, blah, blah.
Yeah.
And then a few people just like go in front of you and grab a ticket
and then you realise you haven't grabbed one.
Yep.
I'll always honour the line.
But it's not like they're being a dick.
It's just like they didn't know that you had a regret.
They didn't realise.
And then the person at the door goes, 74?
And you go, oh, fuck, they're doing tickets.
And all of a sudden the person who rocked up after you, they're 74.
Yeah, they're all in it.
And you go, well, basically in the line, I would have been 69.
But then do you?
Did you want the dinner for two?
Yeah.
69.
So.
I will get my chicken skinned.
Thank you very much.
My boyfriend's waiting in the line, but I will have the 69.
It's right up in your face, that, isn't it?
It is, yeah.
Who ordered the lunch?
So, but did you go grab a ticket then and just rejoin the queue?
Or did you actually go, oh, I'm sorry.
No, I get a ticket and I just go back to the beginning.
And I call Torbs and go, just go through and I'll buy this after.
Yeah, I'll meet you at home.
In fact, marry a new woman.
Just don't worry about me.
Yeah, you know what?
I'm taking the chicken breast and I'll just eat it myself.
Roar in the car park.
Fuck.
Normal or nah, reading recaps for TV shows that you don't even watch.
Ashton says, I do this because I feel like I want to be in the loop
with all the water cooler chat.
But I can't be fucked watching the shit shows like The Bachelor
and Married at First Sight and all of those things.
But I don't want to miss out.
The weird thing, says Ashton,
is that the only person I actually talk about the shows with is my partner
and he doesn't watch the show either.
So we're basically just recapping the recaps.
Okay.
Nah for that.
I don't mind like a Batchy recap where it's like all the drama
of like the three things or whatever.
But in terms of water cooler chat, Ashton, I'm going to call you out there
because I don't think I've worked in a workplace for about five years
where people actually talk about what was on free-to-air TV last night.
Is that a real thing?
I don't think people are doing that anymore.
We both work in commercial radio and every boss in commercial radio, like, has this strange belief.
You have to talk about what was on maths last night.
Well, every person in every workplace is going into the water cooler
and being like, break down, married at first sight for me.
Oh, my God, did you hear what the radio said this morning?
That's just never happened.
You have this couple-hour chat every day and go, yeah,
I will tune in to them.
You know, not only did you not watch maths last night,
but you're not going to listen to fucking bing-bong and ding
on the bloody 6am radio.
We've spoken about it.
No, I couldn't say ding-dong anymore.
I said bing-bong.
That's a similar area.
That's a cousin.
The whole family's out.
Oh, okay.
So what could I say instead?
Just names.
Rhubarb.
I could.
So as someone who's a bit shy and introverted, like when not like.
Yeah.
Like say if I was in an office.
Yeah.
I just want to fucking do my job.
Oh, no, I'm a chatter.
Yeah, you're a chatter.
But imagine me at the water cooler, right? Yeah. an office yeah i just want to fucking do my job oh no i'm a chatter yeah you're a chatter but
imagine me at the water cooler right yeah this is my ideal water cooler chat let's this is actually
the water cooler chat because no one actually likes people i work with so this sorry what about
me this no in like office scenarios we have an office in corporate world oh okay we have a business
yeah so there's a water cooler yeah because i think the water cooler is like
the person you don't work directly with it's like the guy from sales you see once a week
except also water cooler everyone's got a fucking two liter water bottle on their desk now you're
not even going to the water cooler anymore so imagine you're filling up your drink bottle yeah
oh hey bro how you going yeah good thanks did you watch maths last night i'm actually already left
oh great okay well i'll just, he's rude, eh?
Have you met that guy that's in accounting?
How are you? Not too bad. Okay, have a great one.
Gonna be warm today. Oh, even the
weather chat is quite strong.
Because isn't weather chat just the
biggest fuck you to whoever you're talking to?
Is it rude to not? I love chatting about the weather,
but I've realised that people think it's rude.
I love fucking weather chat.
I think it's genuinely interesting.
All right.
So.
Because if I say, oh, a bit hot today and you go, no, I don't reckon.
I'm like, oh, you run obviously cooler than me.
I think that's really insightful.
When I lived in Toowoomba.
Yeah.
In Queensland, sometimes you get a bit of a storm.
Oh.
And if there was a storm coming through in the afternoon,
I'd be like, fucking settle in, folks.
Yeah.
Get a seat by the window.
Even pull the couch around.
Oh.
And just sit there, pour one out.
There's nothing on TV better than sitting there
and watching this big storm roll in over the hills,
bit of lightning.
That's fucking entertainment.
You know what?
I take it back where the chat is boring.
That was boring as fuck.
I guess I'll just fill up my drink bottle and fuck off.
I'd rather watch maths.
Did you see Bachelor last night?
Normal or nah? being in the good books,
and this one wasn't sent in by a tarpa.
This Normal or Nah was thrust upon us by Toowoomba Ash.
Toowoomba Ash.
Can we put Toowoomba in the title today somehow?
Yeah.
So Toowoomba Ash.
Last week, Tony and I are in Brisbane and Ash has had the biggest night
he's had for five years.
And we know this because he stumbled over to our table at breakfast,
fell on the table and was like, I used to be able to stay up all night
and I haven't done for five years because of the kids.
But fucking I gave it a crack last night and I am fucked.
Here's a normal night I put on the show.
And we're like.
He's like, I love the show, guys.
We were like, hey, bro.
And he was not thinking straight.
No.
Still drunk, definitely.
So, well, there was a bit of chat because I think he had a few more beers
than his wife would have liked him to when you're getting that vibe.
I think as well it was a getaway for the two of them for two nights.
Yep.
And it turned into a not that.
A party for one.
Yeah.
Yeah. for two nights and it turned into a not that. A party for one. Yeah, yeah.
So Tony says something like, oh, hope you're not in the bad books.
Yeah.
And Ash wasn't having a bar of this.
No, he was snapped back quick.
He suddenly sobered up.
He'd gone from 18 beers back to seven.
And he goes, well, I disagree with you, Tony,
because bad books implies there's some sort of good books
and I've never fucking seen or heard of those.
Isn't that just the most classic thing you've ever heard?
Like, oh, is there a bloody good book?
Cheers.
See you later.
Isn't that just one of those things?
We did have to get a barbecue scraper to get Ash off our table.
Yeah.
He was such a lovely guy.
He was really nice.
But normal on our front to him, but Ash, ever being in the good books?
Or there being a good book.
Well, have you ever done something, you know, out of the ordinary
or you've cooked a nice dinner or you've done something?
That's out of the ordinary for me.
That's what I mean.
But then you're like, oh, I'm in the good books.
Like not Torb's owes me one, but like I'm in the good books. Like not Torb's owes me one but like I'm in the good books.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, or some brownie points or whatever.
I think it's such an old way of thinking about like a relationship, isn't it?
Because I would never ever say to Torb's like, oh,
you're in the bloody doghouse, you know,
like which feels like something that like our mums
and dads would have said or whatever.
I do agree though that sometimes you, they're fucked off with me
and I probably do need to get back in the good books, as it were.
That's what I mean.
Good books is really just used as getting back to neutral.
Yeah.
Yes.
Yeah.
All right.
Say Torbs is fucked off with something you've done.
And we have those times when you go, actually, yeah,
you're probably right.
And you just go, oh, yeah.
I'm not going to fight back because you ain't wrong.
What is something that you would do?
And again, it doesn't need to be over the top.
It might just be giving him the space or it might.
It's not what I was going to say.
Sorry.
Maybe it's that.
Giving him a little slice of something from the deli.
Me ham sandwich.
A little slice of something from the deli.
Me ham sandwich.
Well, both of us use like communication as like a love language.
Like we love our debrief.
So I'd say that it'd probably be like talk about it.
But if I was going more subtle, I'd probably go, oh,
like I'll grab some stuff for dinner and then I'd get him a little treat from the shops.
And that would be a peacemaker.
What's a little treat?
Like a little Freddo?
A Caramella Koala?
Maybe a Kinder Surprise.
Fuck yeah.
Because that's like, you would never normally buy that.
Oh yeah.
Or, you know, the Mars Bars ice creams that they're like the little bars.
Yeah.
They do us in, they're a love language in our house.
We're not a flowers and chocolates family.
Yeah.
If you want to get in my good books.
I mean, not that you never, like I don't.
I'll do it now.
I'll buy it on Amazon.
What is it?
You know I'm fucking anyone's for a Golden Gay Time ice cream.
You know this.
Yeah, yeah.
Because they used to be one of the ones on Milk Bar, the app.
Milk Run.
Milk Run.
Yeah.
So the app, they go, oh, we've got a whole bunch of,
like they've only got a few of each thing.
And they go, ice creams, Golden Gate time.
And I'm like, fuck, yeah, four for $10.
You can't buy the materials for that.
You know something that I do for you, if I ever,
not that I've ever actually fucked you up or we've been in a fight,
but you know what's a really good one if I'm ever not really sure
how we're going together.
Can I guess?
Yeah, you can.
Should we go get a coffee?
Nah.
I send you a house.
Do you?
Yeah.
Because that's a really good peacemaker for you.
Normally I'll go, oh, look at this insane house I saw on realestate.com.au.
Well, you fuck that now because we can never send houses again
because the thought.
No, because I know it just makes you happy.
Yeah, but I'm going to be like, does she think I'm fucked off?
Or is she fucked off?
Yeah, she's fucked off.
This is a peace offering.
What the fuck happened?
No, that's a good one for you, though.
It is a good one for me.
Send you a house or a really.
Because we've been to a few open houses for Tony.
Spoiler alert, she can't afford any of them.
Can't afford any of them.
But fun to pretend we're a rich couple.
It is actually so fun to pretend.
The other day we went to one and we were pretending we were married
and our producer was our third.
Yeah.
And we walked in and the three of us were like.
This would be all three of ours bedroom.
Yeah.
Where would you put your clothes?
Yeah.
And the real estate agent was like, oh.
Do you reckon he was buying it though?
No.
Because we knew that we couldn't buy it either.
Hi, I'm Paige and I'm from Kansas City, Missouri, and you're listening to Tony and Ryan.
A massive shout out to a few of our champion tapas over at our Patreon.
Old and new, many people we have over there.
You can check it out at any time you like in the show notes,
all the information's in our show notes.
I fuck that up every time.
I say it every single week.
It's like me trying to say mantra.
Rosie Berry, thank you so much.
Lily Hayes, Jake Sladden, Catherine Apapagallo, Summer Walker,
Jade Grace, Zach Pfeiffer, Lee,
and Cody has requested that his champion type of shout-out be donated to his two doggies, his two Shiba Inus, Toshi and Nico.
Well, if Toshi and Nico want a shout-out,
that can fucking pay for a membership on Patreon.
So I thought that was quite cute.
Toshi and Nico, isn't that quite cute?
That is actually quite cute.
It's actually annoyingly cute because I stand by what I said,
but it is cute.
And that is the end of the 20,000 tarpa shout-outs that I have today.
Speaking of the tarpas in Patreon.
Yes.
On Tuesday we said the tarpas will choose which song Toni will sing
in her audition with the National Girls Youth Choir.
Now here were the four picks.
You had two, I had two.
You picked Pai Jesu.
Yeah, Papi Jesu, whatever you called it last week.
Papi Le Jesu.
Papi Le Jesu.
Since You've Been Gone by Kelly Clarkson.
Yes, because I thought what a classic interview song from Pitch Perfect.
My picks were Milkshake by Khalees.
Milkshake brings all the noise.
I've been practicing.
And WAP by Cardi B.
Put a macaroni in the pot.
That's a wet ass beep.
Now, I'll probably close off the voting in the next day or two,
but an update.
In last place.
Puppy Jesu.
Puppy Jesu.
Last.
In third.
It's the only one I can actually do.
Milkshake by Khalees.
Second.
Is WAP by Cardi B.
And number one is Since You've Been Gone.
What's the gap looking like between?
It's pretty healthy.
Because I was thinking WAP would probably be a bit more entertaining.
And I don't know if I can do,
I don't know if I can sing Since You've Been Gone.
You picked it. I know.
And I've regretted it ever since.
Well, Nancy.
Do I have to do well?
Well, do you want to be in the choir or not?
Yeah, I do.
Oh, can I redraw?
So Nancy said, can we vote for since you've been gone for the audition,
but then WAP for the taffas?
Just like a private show.
Yep.
I'll do it.
Okay.
The live stream for March is going to be me singing WAP. Ryan and I'll do it. The live stream for March
is going to be me singing WAP. Ryan
and I doing the video of WAP.
And Malin says,
why limit yourself, Tony? Why don't you make a
remix of all four?
I could do a medley.
Alright, well you're, actually, Cam,
are we, what, a week away?
We're working on it?
Yeah.
Working on it.
Fuck, I've got to get practising.
Yeah, so we'll let you know in the next few days
so then you've got at least like a good couple of cracks to practise.
Oh, fucking hell.
Okay.
That's on the way.
Thank you for voting, everyone.
Oh, wow.
See you, German guys.
Nice.
Last week, full cinema of Brisbane tapas.
Tony's close Brisbane friends all enjoyed Harry Potter 4,
Tony's Christmas present.
Such a fun trip.
I feel like I've only just come back down to planet Earth.
It was so much fun.
And I think because it was like we did end up with a little bit
of spare time and we got to kind of like see Brisbane a little bit.
The pool.
The pool at the hotel.
Actually, not the, you know.
But we walked around
in the mall
like it was actually
lovely
as soon as we were there
I was like
I want to move to Brisbane
Tony said
I will move to Brisbane
probably 8 seconds
after we touched down
you looked out the window
looked at the weather app
and said
I'm fucking
this is me
and I thought
there'd probably be
some good surf
and then we talked
to some people
in Brisbane
they were like
oh the surf's actually
better on like
the sunny coast
or the gold coast
or the gold coast
literally anywhere in Queensland except here.
Yeah, except for Brisbane.
But because, as you know, I'm a surfer girl.
Yeah.
Now, almost everyone adhered to Tony's strict no talking during the movie policy.
And I would say there was almost some controversy about there was a couple of young boys sitting in the back row near you who you may have yelled at.
All right.
So were they talking during the movie?
I was very, very severe about the no talking rule because,
and this is why you were going to buy me the, well,
booked me the private session,
which ended up being basically a public session,
is because I don't like going to the cinema because I fucking hate it
when people make noise.
And before the movie started, I was like, I want to sit middle, middle,
like so middle row, middle of the cinema so that I've got
like the best vantage point of seeing everything.
Someone saved me a seat down there.
Like it was all very good.
And then when the movie was starting, they turned the lights off and I was like can we turn the lights back on like i'm not sitting down yet and
they were like nope like it started and so i was like fuck so i had to sit just like in the corner
at the back because i couldn't get down to my seat right it was not pre-allocated or anything
and it was only us and then i sat down next to these boys and one of them kind of like talked to the other one and was like, oh, my God, fucking whatever,
and I looked at them, glared at them, and then they looked back at me
with the fear of God in their eyes, and then they left.
Well, is it true, just to, you know, to collect all the evidence,
is it true that before the lights went down and we were at the front
and we're like, thanks, everyone everyone for coming, Merry Christmas, Sony.
Yeah.
Is it true that you yelled at them and said,
nobody better fucking talk?
I did, so I was very severe.
Okay.
I was very clear about the rules.
So when you were very clear and then you looked at them.
So I like glared at them, but then like broke a smile
and was like, ah, just kidding.
I was like, oh yeah, I shot a guy, but then I waved at him after.
Yeah.
Once you've given the stare, in your own words, the stare of death,
the look of fear, what was it?
No, they had the fear of God in their eyes.
And then I smiled because I was like, okay, that's obviously a bit severe.
Then they got up and left.
And right at the end of the movie when we were doing like a meet and greet,
I was like, does anyone know those boys because they feel really bad?
We actually got a message from them.
Did we?
On Patreon, yeah.
And it's, I feel so bad.
I feel so, so, so, so bad.
I hope so.
So I don't know.
I don't know.
I think I should give a name.
I think so.
Should I name them?
All right.
Well, this person, R, I'll call them R.
Hi, I'm so sorry for making so much
noise in the cinema. My partner and I sat up the back because we thought you guys would be in the
middle, but then you sat right beside me. My partner has a UTI, so he was very uncomfortable,
but pulled through for me. I really wanted to meet you guys, but we caught a bus to come see you
and to get home and we would have missed it so we left halfway through the movie which is why we sat up the back i hope we didn't
ruin your experience and i'm very sad i couldn't say hello i hope you feel terrible oh you should
see the reply i've basically got fucking whiplash from the u-turn i pulled you put more words into
that than your own book that comes out next week.
Yep.
Oh, my God, Riley, I felt so bad.
I've just said his name.
Hang on.
Did you say U-turn?
Yeah.
Yeah, literally.
Except it was a lot fucking quicker than that.
I said, I'm so, so sorry.
I was just trying to be funny.
Oh, I was going to sit in the middle, but then I'm like over-explaining everything.
But Riley said he was sorry.
I said I was sorry, so I feel like we're friends again.
Dot comrades.
Dot comrades.
Thank you.
Well, no, we've almost met in real life because we were sitting next to each other.
Well, you yelled at him in real life.
Yeah.
So, I mean, what's that worth?
Anyway, but yes, I did feel really, really bad.
But it's all sorted now.
Thank God.
There's a video online at the moment of me having my bag searched
for a weapon.
Now, Tony wasn't there, but she saw me in the aftermath.
The x-ray machine thought our Harry Potter wands were maybe
like a baton or a knife.
Yeah.
So the guy had to open it up and go, what's this?
Well, because obviously through the x-ray thing,
they just see a long metal thing.
And I said, it's a wand.
Yeah.
And he goes, oh, you're a big Harry Potter fan.
I was like, not really.
Yeah.
And he's like, oh, so what's it for?
And you're like, I actually don't know.
So he opened the thing.
He goes, can you, because you have to remove the layers.
Yeah, of course.
Because they're not allowed to do it, right?
It was under a cape.
Do you think it looked like a sex thing?
Possibly. Yeah. especially because i winked
at him when he looked at me no not really i was terrified um now this is the thing that's thrown
me for the last week i know nothing about harry potter yep right and harry potter fans have this
confidence and surety that they know which house you would be in oh sure and i don't understand it
so can i just read out a few comments here because i was dressed as a slytherin yep and people like
well there's no way ryan's a slytherin and i was like but how do you know it's a fucking movie that
i'm not in uh so lauren channon there's no way ryan's a slytherin ashley chester with his golden
retriever energy surely a hufflepuff. Riz Rachman.
Fuck, her name's Riz. She's got
Riz. Fuck. There's absolutely no
way Ryan is a Slytherin. He's either
a Gryffindor for his guts. What do Gryffindors
all have IBS as well?
Brave. Bravery.
Oh, that kind of guts. I thought you meant like, oh, they've
all got like... They all need to shit every five minutes.
Oh, right, no, we're in the highway. Is there a place to stop?
Gryffindor's hurt.
That's not.
Okay, gotcha.
And goofiness.
Or Hufflepuff because he's caring to his friends and family.
Yeah.
I mean, there's a lot of fucking nice words being said here.
Sarah Waters.
Tony, you're such a Gryffindor son with a Hufflepuff moon.
Yeah.
Mona Kristen.
Now, that's her name.
It's not a review.
Says, oh, Tony.
Tony a Gryffindor and Ryan a Slytherin.
I would have guessed Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff respectively.
Yeah.
So I would love to be a Gryffindor.
And whenever I say this to Torbs, he's like, get over it, bitch.
Like you're not a fucking Gryffindor.
Because Gryffindor in the film is like the cool house to be in.
Right.
And Slytherin's like the evil one.
And then Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff.
So Ravenclaw is like for really smart people. And Hlytherin's like the evil one. And then Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff.
So Ravenclaw is like for really smart people.
And Hufflepuff is like, yeah, kind and like good natured and friendly.
Right.
Which we all agree with that.
You don't know.
You could be speaking French right now.
I actually have no idea what you're talking about.
Yeah.
Vous l'avez vu que j'en avais moi.
But you know what that means.
C'est ça.
Yeah.
Come to bed with me. Oh.
Is what it means.
I don't.
But you know what that means.
I don't know what that means. From the song. I know the song. I don you know what that means i don't know what that means i know the song i don't know what it means though i just sing it okay
anyway um so i wish that i was a gryffindor but you have to be brave i'm not brave at all like
there's just that's just not me and someone's saying that i'm a ravenclaw that's also not true
because that's quite smart people i'd say that i'm probably a Hufflepuff just because I'm nice. Not that smart. So I've got a list of people we know,
and I want you to say what house you think they'd be from.
This could get nasty.
Do you need to research it?
No, I reckon I know.
Chrissy Swan.
Hufflepuff.
Steph Clare Smith.
I want to say, oh, this is going to come across really badly.
I want to say Slytherin, but not because she's,
I think just because she's got that business brain.
And ambitious?
Yeah.
Because Slytherin's ambitious, right?
Yeah.
That's what I would say because she doesn't really fit to the other,
or Gryffindor.
Oh, fuck, she gets everything.
Maddie McRae.
Gryffindor.
Elon Musk.
Slytherin.
Or Ravenclaw.
Smart.
No?
Smart.
Smart.
Yeah.
Big Harry Potter fan, Ariana Grande.
Gryffindor.
Neil deGrasse Tyson.
Ravenclaw, because he's smart.
Christian Hull.
He's a squeeb.
I'm laughing, but I don't know what I'm laughing at.
What does that mean?
What does that mean?
And I'm sorry for people like me that don't know Harry Potter
and don't know what the fuck's going on.
What does that mean?
It means like you're non, like you know about magic,
but you can't perform it.
Like you don't have a, like you get your wand taken away or whatever.
So Filch, the caretaker he's a
because he knows i like that guy yeah he runs in funny yeah he does run in funny yeah uh and
finally margot robbie margot robbie hufflepuff gorgeous girl beautiful um like labrador energy
you know like just happy to be there did you know not only is she a massive Harry Potter fan.
Is she?
Her husband isn't like a Slytherin the way we're talking about it,
is actually in the movie as a Slytherin.
Really?
Because he's like a film producer.
But when he was younger, he was an extra.
So, you know, when they're like sitting, you know,
they're always in their groups.
He's like one of Malfoy's like bros.
Crabbe and Goyle.
I don't know.
Again, just an extra.
It doesn't have any lines or anything or a name.
But there's shots of him in the movie where he's in the background
just being like, yeah.
Oh, and as a Harry Potter fan.
Huge.
Oh, my husband's in there.
Because that's how I feel about Robert Pattinson
obviously being the fourth movie.
Like, oh, my ex-boyfriend's in Harry Potter.
It's quite exciting for me.
It was great when your ex-boyfriend's in Harry Potter. It's quite exciting for me.
It was great when your ex-boyfriend, Robert Pattinson, came on screen.
There was almost like a, woo, Tony, your ex-boyfriend.
There was a big energy in the crowd.
I liked it.
You did like that?
Yeah, I did like that. Okay, so you're only allowed to make noise in the cinema if Tony's had a relationship with them.
Yeah.
Okay.
So we'll watch Twilight next.
But thanks again for everyone who came.
It was awesome.
Yeah, no, it was so good.
And look out for Slytherin, Steph Clare Smith.
No, I don't mean like.
Cancelled.
No, I mean like in the ambitious way.
Also Ravenclaw, I guess, because she is really smart.
Cancelled.
Turn back.
I mean, turn back the other way.
You love to see it?
I do.
This comes from Ashley Solly in our Facebook group.
Tony and Ryan on Facebook.
You can check it out at any time.
My love to see it is that this time last year I was in prison.
Since getting out, I've completely turned my life around.
I've been sober off drugs for 15 months. I work a full-time job where my work ethic and
job standards have the clients I work for trying to poach me. I regularly attend therapy and I'm
thriving. I've surrounded myself with really good people. I'm achieving my goals and the people that
she is surrounded by includes the Tony Rand podcast and other tapas. She's made lots of
friends. If you'd have told me a year ago I could ever be this happy with myself and my life at its current trajectory, I wouldn't believe it.
Thank you for all your support and for keeping me laughing.
They weren't kidding when they say laughter is the best medicine.
Isn't that the sweetest thing you've ever heard?
Incredible.
Ashley, you fucking love to say that.
We're very, very proud of you.
I do have one negative thing to say.
What?
Only one negative.
What?
What the fuck negative thing could you have to say about Ashley?
I also had that written down.
Oh, okay.
And so whilst I 1,000% agree that that's incredible,
now I find myself in the awkward position.
Actually, no, I've got one.
Could you do your one from tomorrow, today, and then...
What am I, a time traveller?
No, I'm not Hermione.
Okay.
She doesn't even do that in the movie that you watched.
But I knew that you were the thing.
Because I was wearing the time-travelling necklace.
I'm trying to learn for you.
No, your love language is like saying,
I read this article about this thing
and when you said that to me the day we were going to the movies,
I was like, that's sweet.
I'm trying.
No, I know you are.
But seriously though, that's an incredible story
and a year is a long time when, like, you know when you're like,
oh, how much can things change, blah, blah, blah?
Like, fuck, a year ago in jail, now, like, dominating work
and out and about and being healthy and drug-free.
Isn't that insane?
It's insane.
Fucking love that, Ashley.
Thank you for sharing that with us.
Actually, you know what I do love to see?
And when I say this, you'll be like, oh, fuck,
I don't hear the end of it.
Yeah.
Chat GPT. That's not a good you love to see? Yeah. And when I say this, you'll be like, oh, fuck, I don't hear the end of it. Yeah. Chat GPT.
That's not a good you love to see it.
I'm all in.
Tell me if you think this is interesting.
I don't.
We have take-home exams at my university.
Yep.
And they were like, we think we're going to have to stop doing these because of chat GPT.
They're like, at the start of the semester, they're like...
They're trying to ban it in schools and stuff as well.
Yeah, and they actually said, oh, no one take a day the start of the semester, they're like... They're trying to, like, ban it in schools and stuff as well. Yeah, and they actually said,
oh, no-one, like, take a day off work for the exam
because we might be changing the whole way we do it
because of chat GPT.
Oh!
And so we're like, fuck, what's going to happen?
So they've come back and said, no, no, no,
still do take-home exams.
We actually encourage you to use it.
And this is the right way to go about it.
But I was surprised they did.
They go, we can't just pretend that this thing doesn't exist.
You know how schools have it?
Oh, it's banned.
Yeah, but we're in the real world, bro.
Yeah.
Or that you go into a maths exam and they go, well, no calculators.
You go, bro, there's one on my phone.
Yeah.
Like, I'm never going to be in a position now where I don't have a calculator on me at all times.
So they've said, hey, it's a part of the world moving future.
We'll work with it instead of pretending it doesn't exist.
I do love to see that.
But what I really love to see is someone asked ChatBeeGPT
to create the most Australian dessert they could think of.
And I would like to introduce you to the AI-created
Vegemite Caramel Tart.
Oh, Vegemite in as caramel is delicious.
A savoury...
Savoury?
A savoury sweet tart with a buttery crust,
a rich caramel filling and a hint of Vegemite for a salty umami twist.
Umami.
What did I say?
Unami.
That's what I said.
Okay.
I don't know what either of those words mean.
Okay.
But it sounds delicious and that's what I love to see.
Yeah, I've had like Vegemite macarons before
and they just taste like salted caramel.
They're really yummy.
Yeah, because caramel isn't caramel anymore.
It's salted caramel.
Yeah.
You're right.
Yeah.
Okay, so you're back on the chat.
GPT.
I don't actually know what the letters are.
I say it differently.
Yeah, every time you say GDP, GDP, GTP.
A, A, A, A, A, P, A, A, P, D.
Whatever it is though.
It's my chat.
Do you love to see that?
It's not your best, but I do like to see the tart.
Yeah.
I don't know about the, I did think when you said the most Australian dessert
that it was going to be like Milo with a
sausage on it with like a fucking
you know, served in thongs.
You know, like that's like, I thought you were going to say something
like disgusting. Yeah. Yeah. Alright.
I'll allow it. I'll allow it.
Thank you so much for listening. We'll be back tomorrow
for the video show.
Chat to you then. I've got a hack.
I've got the best hack ever.
Stay tuned for a hack.
And I fucking love a life hack.
And I have heard of this and I agree.
Yep.
Tony's a fucking genius.
Thank you.
Tomorrow.
Enjoy.
Love you.
Bye.