Toni and Ryan - Our worst episode yet
Episode Date: June 14, 2022LISTEN TO FIND OUT IF I WIN MY FUCKED FACT SEGMENT. There is SO MUCH riding on this!!!! I will say - NOTHING in today's episode went to plan 😂 Love ya! Toni xx Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/...ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Hello?
Brie, it's Tony and Ryan.
Hey, how are you going?
Real good.
Oh, we're great now that we're talking to you.
Our favourite type of cheese.
Come on, Tony, you're better than that.
Brie, you don't have to laugh at that shit joke you've heard 78 times in your life.
Oh, don't you like camembert?
My mistake.
Brie, you don't have to approve that joke
but would you mind approving the podcast?
I definitely don't approve that joke
but I will approve the podcast
I appreciate your honesty, Brie
I was fucking asking for that
Yeah, you can cop that
That is shit
Stay tuned for the best podcast episode of all time
Hey, it's Brie from Brisbane
and I approve this podcast.
Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast.
Biggest day of my life.
Everyone loves to share a good fact.
They do.
Which is why I want this segment.
You're going to hear one of the great facts of all time.
Yep, you are.
That's coming up soon.
Let's start with normal or nah.
And today it's the celebrity edition of normal or nah.
I don't understand what that means.
So don't make me explain the segment.
You almost did though.
Almost tricked you. So what happens is normal or nah, having breast milk in your coffee.
I'm going to say nah.
If you can.
For me.
Yeah.
But like if, but it doesn't bother me.
Like if, if you were breastfeeding and you went, oh,
we don't have any milk, pop a bit in, something.
KJ Appa, who plays Archie in Riverdale, he is now like, no, no,
that's the only milk I do, is my, the mother of his child's breast milk.
Yep.
To the point where, and I've seen this video,
he takes a little jar of it when he goes to the
cafe or whatever, like he's filming in New York.
Hey, mate, can I just get a flat white or whatever?
Can you just use this milk?
It's my partner's breast milk.
And we'll hand it over to the barista or make it there himself.
That's a nah from me.
Yeah, it's a weird...
I can understand possibly like the curiosity of it but to the extent of no no
i'm exclusively breast now no oat no dairy um but also like and i'm i'm not a parent so i don't
know extensively but yeah like some people when they're breastfeeding,
like they don't have a lot of supply.
So aren't you then taking that away from like your –
The child.
And because breast milk's really like – because fed is best.
It doesn't matter what your child has.
But isn't the whole thing with breast milk that it's got like heaps
of really good like antibodies and –
I'm sure it does, yeah.
Like you pass on like your immune system
to your baby, like your baby eats what you eat.
So like that's why lots of people don't drink caffeine
or have spicy food or whatever.
When my sister was breastfeeding, if she had dairy, like any dairy,
both of her children both got like really funny with it.
Oh, so like they were like. Could like pass the lactose onto them.
Yeah.
So she had to do like dairy free while she,
and she doesn't have a lot of dairy anyway, but yeah.
She was passing on the dairy that made them sick.
That made them crook, yeah.
So it's like I think it's, you would think that you would want the baby
to have the benefits of the breast milk rather than you going
to a cafe and saying this is my partner's breast milk.
Can you use this instead?
Yeah.
Now, I know the last thing the internet needs is to white people without children telling
you how to parent.
Yeah.
That's why I said Fed is best.
But then obviously this is what you should do.
This is right.
That's enough for us.
Yeah.
I just would have thought that that would have been...
In the jar, it's not like I did it once, ha-ha,
like when I'm like, oh, he's thought about this and planned ahead.
I just think is there just so much wank factor in that?
A little bit.
You love your partner.
We get it.
I love my partner too.
Yeah, and it's not about being like.
You only drink milk from torps?
Nut milk, if you know what I mean.
It's not as if I'm like, oh, breast milk is disgusting.
How could you try it?
You'd have to try it.
I'd definitely try it.
Yeah.
Like if I was breastfeeding or whatever, like Antob said like.
Can I have a slice?
But like, I don't know.
If I wouldn't say it like that.
No, I'd hope not.
Yeah, but there's just like, it's not that it's a sexual thing.
It's literally just like, oh, you would try it because curiosity.
Yeah.
But, yeah, I think that's maybe a step too far.
It's enough for me.
It's enough for me too.
Normal or nah?
Being fucked by a ghost.
Have you?
Nah from me.
It's nah from you.
Kesha claims that she was once fucked by a ghost.
Yep.
When I did radio in Perth, a shout out to the Heidi,
Xavier and Ryan show, we talked about this on the radio
and we said, hey, has anyone else ever had an experience
with a ghost?
And you never quite know what you're going to get back
when you throw something like that out and open up the phone lines.
It's fucking common, aye.
A lot of people. A lot of people.
A lot of people.
And this one lady called up and I'll never forget this.
Oh, fucking.
So she says.
Bev from the Golden Triangle calls up.
Yeah.
Perth joke.
She calls up and goes, oh.
She goes, Heidi, who's female, vagina haver, goes, you know,
as a vagina haver, you often know, say, the next day that feeling of,
like, you're just physically aware that you might have had sex yesterday.
Oh, post-fuck, yeah.
Post-fuck.
Like, you can tell.
You can.
Yeah.
So she's like, so I thought in the night it happened
and the next day she was like, I could feel that it had happened.
Thus it wasn't like, oh, I had a weird dream.
She was like, I dreamt that it happened, that the ghost was like inside of me
and we made love and the next day I woke up and was very aware
that yes, that had in fact occurred.
Yeah, right.
It's never happened to me.
No?
No.
I've never had that experience.
But who am I to stand in the way of love?
Love is love.
Yeah, imagine if you got ghosted.
I don't know where he's gone.
Thank you.
That is funny.
That is funny.
No, but you put a ha-ha like, no, that was genuine laughter.
Oh, thank you.
Thanks.
In the podcast.
Because it's a ghost and it's a thing.
Yes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Normal or nah?
Yeah.
This is fucked.
And this isn't a have you done it.
It's hypothetical because we're not rich enough to be in this scenario.
You'll understand why.
Oh, fucking hell.
Normal or nah? Having side-by-side toilets because you're rich
and have like two toilets in your big fancy en suite
and pooping together with your partner.
Normal or nah?
And it's not like as a necessity.
It's like to enjoy it.
I'm going to say nah.
I'm also going to say nah.
But like also like if Torbjörn is using the bathroom
and I'm like going in to grab something from, you know,
like that doesn't, we're not like weird about it.
Right.
But, yeah, it's not an activity we would plan to do together.
Yes.
Yeah.
Megan Trainor, the singer, great singer. Yeah. Lovely lady. She and her husband, Daryl Sabara. Yes. Megan Trainor, the singer, great singer, lovely lady.
She and her husband, Daryl Sabara.
Yeah, who is the kid from Spy Kids.
Really?
Junie from Spy Kids.
I didn't know that.
So obviously they're doing all right for themselves.
They've got a big fancy en suite with two bathrooms
and they'll be like, oh, I need a poop.
What about you?
You do too?
Okay, let's go.
And they'll like chat and do their stuff together and whatever
and I guess it's not about the fact they want to do it
but it's almost like proving that they're fine with it.
Yeah, it's like too fine.
Yeah.
But also planning.
If you're that rich, get two bathrooms.
Yeah, planning the house on having two toilets,
like two actual toilets next to each other is a bit like odd for me.
But like if I'm in the shower and Tobs is brushing his teeth,
like we'll be chatting and whatever.
Or if I'm like doing quick wee while he's in the shower or something,
like, you know, it's all good.
Would you still do that now that you've got two bathrooms?
Oh, great point.
No, probably not.
Yeah, okay.
No.
See, I guess what I'm getting at is if you have any other option yeah
you'd probably take that other option right great cool yeah just because out of like
oh i'm obviously not going to use that toilet if he's doing something else in there
uh yeah no great point yeah if there's another option i would take it but if we only had one
bathroom and i really needed to go while he was in the shower then i'd yeah what would you do
well if he really needed to go and i was in the shower, then I'd, yep. What would you do?
Well, if he really needed to go and I was in the toilet,
then I would go in the shower and not too wash myself,
if you know what I mean.
Well, did afterwards. You would have washed afterwards.
I mean.
Had to.
Hosing down.
Necessity, yeah.
Shit.
Anyway.
Normal or nah?
Having a folder in your phone where you keep pictures of hot girls
with nice hair to show your hairdresser.
Now, this is from celebrity Tony Lodge, most known for One Trick Tony fame, and also now
does a podcast called Tony and Ryan.
Apparently, she, who's going to the hairdresser next week, has a whole folder of lovely looking
ladies so she can show the hairdresser not just one picture
but 37 different pictures.
Normal or nah?
You obviously can't say nah.
Well, I'm going to say normal because it's me.
A celebrity on our show.
Fuck off.
But I don't have the photos because they're hot.
They just happen to have the haircut that I'm taking in for inspo.
They're looking pretty good.
Well, they're the only people that are posted on the internet.
I mean, ain't that true?
You know.
And I said to Tony, don't do what I do and see a hot guy in short shorts
and go, oh, well, I'm buying those short shorts because I'm going
to look like that.
But some of them, some of the photos are of me in the past.
You're one of the hot people.
No.
But it is of you.
In the category of the hot people with the hair.
Yeah?
Yes or no?
The haircut album isn't exclusively hot people.
Well, they all look pretty good to me.
It just happens to be that all of the hair models that I came across,
don't say came across, while looking for this specific haircut.
Is that also a Spank Bank folder for you?
No.
You look at that way and into the other bathroom.
No.
Oh, that's one of me.
That's all of it.
No. It isn't about them being exclusively hot.
They just all have the haircut that I'm thinking of doing or a hair colour that I like or whatever.
And I like to walk into the hairdresser being prepared
so that I can say, here's 30 variations,
which ones do you think will look the best on me?
Okay, and does that make it easier or harder for the hairdresser?
Are they spoilt by choice, like you've overprepped?
Well, I'm really hoping it makes it easier because I've never been
to this hairdresser before.
Where are you going?
It's one that your wife recommended, Bob in South Yard.
Yeah, lovely.
Yeah, I'm very excited because it's a lovely, lovely place.
Do you need me to pick you up afterwards?
That would be nice, actually.
Yeah, because it's next to my favourite.
It's next to Miss Chu that does the dumplings.
Can you order me some food and then grab me at the same time?
Mate, mate.
Oh, that works perfectly.
Don't pretend I haven't got this routine locked and loaded
because every time Bridget's like, I'm off to the hairdresser,
I'm like, guess who's having dumplings?
Hey, it's Bree from Brisbane,
and we're all about to hear the greatest fact of all time.
Before we thank our champion tarpers,
Tony and I are a little bit tired, right?
So during then, that little break there,
I was like, hey, Tony,
let's get a frappe.
And you've just fucking lost your shit.
I was trying to help you out and be thoughtful.
No, I know.
They're both tired. It was the way that you went, we should get a – well, actually,
first of all, you said, why don't we order some food?
And I said, no, if I eat something, I'll fall asleep.
Because, you know, when you just eat and it makes you all warm
and full in the tum and you're just like, I need to fucking go down.
Yeah, see you later.
And I was like, no, we're not ordering food.
And then you said, what if we got like a frappe?
I didn't do that thing that you're doing with your eyes, Browse.
No, but you said it like that.
I did not.
You did.
Let me recreate.
Do you want a frappe?
I did say it like that.
Yeah, you did.
So you can't even fucking remember.
Hey, listen to me now, everyone.
Do you want a frappe?
Oh, that was cool.
But do you?
We should get a frappe.
But you laughed at me.
Why did you laugh at me?
Do you mean like an iced coffee frappe?
Is that what you mean?
Yeah, like an iced coffee, but sometimes.
And they've got the cream on top.
You know the one from Macca's?
Yeah, they're fucking elite.
And it's got like the syrup on the top as well.
Fuck, that is good.
I see now you've changed your tune.
That is good though.
You want one?
How long will it take to get here?
If we order it soon, we'll do it by the end of this episode,
it'll be here.
All right.
Do you want to order while I'm thanking the champion tapas?
Is that rude?
I feel like I should listen when you're talking on the pod.
All right, all right, all right.
That's really nice actually.
Listen, a woman is talking.
All right.
Because when a woman is talking, you shouldn't talk over it.
A big thank you to a few of our champion timers that are paying for the frappes we're about to order.
Hey, y'all.
Could you imagine being in a business meeting and this lady's like, I'm going to present you.
Like, cool, thanks, sweetheart.
I'm just going to order some frappes.
Anyone want a coffee?
Who wants a frappe?
The girl is talking.
I'm just going to order some coffees.
Is that all right with you, love?
Does anyone have the Uber Eats app?
Can you refer me?
I'll save $25.
It's free delivery if we all get one.
It's $5 boosters today.
Is anyone interested?
Hey, babe, no, no.
Start your presentation.
No, sweetheart, you go because by the time you're done,
it'll be here.
That'll be great.
We're listening.
Oh, sorry, was that soy milk, Shannon?
Yeah.
A big thank you to a few of our champions.
Did you want cream on your frappe or just the regular?
I actually do want cream and the syrup on the top.
Yeah, okay, great.
A big thank you to a few of our champions.
They do a choc coffee one as well, like a mocha.
Did you want that?
No, I just want the coffee one.
Okay.
Though the chocolate one is good.
It is good, yeah.
Which one are you going to go?
If you have all that milk, you'll be shitting all day.
I will be.
I was going to say.
It's a long weekend.
It's a long weekend.
You've got heaps of time.
A big thank you to a few of our champion tappers,
Candice, Molly Skipsy, Kiki, Chris Shea, Becca S, Matthew Olsen.
What have they got?
What did you say?
Cappuccino flavour?
Vanilla cappuccino.
Oh, okay.
Crystal Love.
Would you like a you larger or small?
I'll go large
Yeah okay
Yeah I think you've got to
I don't either fuck spiders
Crystal love
Aunt Banana
She would get a banana one
Yep
Ayla Horton
And Amanda Lamb
Or a Lambda
As I like to call her
Speaking of food
Alright I have to pay attention
I don't know what the fuck
You were just talking about
I was ordering coffees.
But now it is time to get serious.
It's time to get fucked.
And my fucked frappe.
Last week, Tony told us that the word midnight was derived from being...
The middle of the night.
And weren't we all fucking dumbfounded?
Yep, no one was really that into it.
I also shared another fact about...
Afternoon?
Oh, yeah, afternoon because it's after noon.
But that a pomegranate, every pomegranate has the same amount
of seeds, which has now been debunked and is not true.
Which is not true.
Can I read some feedback?
Oh, please.
Please, please, please.
Bianca.
Hi, Bianca.
My new favourite.
Does Bianca want a coffee?
We're doing a round of orders now.
I'll let her know.
I'll ask her.
Ask her, yep.
Would she go a large?
Yeah, she would.
I think you've got to.
You're better off getting a large.
If you're going to get a frapper, yeah.
Exactly.
And you're better off getting a large and throwing half of it out
than getting a small and going, God, I could have gone a few more mouthfuls.
Yeah.
And that's what I want to say.
Things you can say at Macca's and also in the bedroom.
As I've always said, I'd never like to leave Bianca without a mouthful.
You always said that.
I have always said that.
I've heard you say that before in the past, yeah.
My favourite thing is listening to Tony describe well-known facts
and claiming them as her own new discoveries.
It's like watching a child learn a new trick
as they're growing fine motor skills,
except Tony's a full-grown fucking adult.
Bianca, you're not getting a fucking frappe, you bitch.
Get your own iced coffee.
Fuck off.
The thing is, is that everything can be new to somebody.
I think that's what she's saying.
Some people's trash is another man's treasure.
Do you know what I mean?
And there are a lot of trash coming out of you.
Fuck off.
But you're a treasure.
You are a treasure.
The Little Woot, as I read on Monday, after these terrible facts.
What's the Little Woot after? Because I'm doing that order. The Little Woot, as I read on Monday, after these terrible facts. Oh, what's the Little Woot after?
Because I'm doing that order.
The Little Woot after a coffee frappe?
Yeah, but he'll go almond milk.
Oh, okay, cool.
After the terrible facts, I think I'm now Team Ryan.
Oh, you read this out on Monday.
I did.
So I was ordering coffee.
So I was ordering coffee.
I'm so sorry.
We're so dumb today.
We're so tired.
I was fucking legit not listening.
Legit not listening. I'm so sorry.
To order the fictional coffees that we, spoiler alert,
we're actually not ordering right now.
Sorry.
Can you read this that I've just written on my sheet?
Almond milk for the Woot.
We're not ordering them.
No, I know.
I wrote down almond milk.
Pay attention to me.
He's talking to me.
Fuck it up.
No, Ryan, you keep presenting, mate.
Tony will take the orders.
Sweetheart will take the orders.
Holy fuck.
All right, yep.
I love the fax segment, says Sammy.
She loves it.
She's a fan.
Hi, Sammy.
She's on your side.
Thanks, Sammy.
I really appreciate that.
Not because Tony's fax are good, but because she's a lovable fucking idiot.
Wow.
Okay.
Okay.
So here's where we're at.
Here's the deal.
God, sorry.
I need that frappe.
She's only had something cool, caffeinated,
milky on your tongue to cool you down.
Cool, caffeinated and milky?
What are you fucking working at the marketing team for my show?
You do need a frappe.
All jokes aside, we've fucking lost it.
I can't believe it's only Wednesday.
All right.
We promised and are doing, from July, five episodes a week.
Yes. So we're like, well, that's July five episodes a week. Yes.
So we're like, well, that's an extra episode a week.
What can we fill it with?
What can we put in there?
Tony has pitched six months ago, get fact.
Fucked fact.
Fucked fact.
Yep.
And then we did it once and we went.
Yep.
I said, wouldn't that be a fun segment? And then off the air you went, maybe we could come up with something else.
And that's fine.
It kind of just like went into the archives and never came back.
Until now.
Until now.
Tony's pitching hard.
Well, I thought it was a good idea until our mate Lane Cox suggested
that when we change to five days a week we call it Get Fact Friday.
So fact, like F-A-C-T.
No, we get it.
Okay.
And as someone who works in commercial radio,
alliteration does me in hard.
Sorry.
Get Frappe Friday, maybe we could call it.
If nothing else, that's the name of today's episode,
even though it's a Wednesday.
Anyway.
What's the name of the Wednesday episode?
Get Frappe Friday.
Yeah, it's really good.
They were on their game as well.
They were doing really well.
Or we could call it Whipped Cream Thursday.
Okay.
So you said to me, Ryan, that I could have one chance
to impress you with a fact and if it's good, then when we change to five with a fact, and if it's good,
then when we change to five days a week,
I will be allowed to do Get Fact Friday on occasion.
Okay, so basically if you can do a good fact, it's in.
If it's shit, it's out.
You only get one fact.
You've narrowed it down to three.
Yep.
Give me one of the ones you're not going to use.
Oh, do I get a practice?
Yeah, but you only get one.
Proper one.
Yep.
But what if the practice one impresses you?
Then do I win it?
That's a slippery slope, isn't it?
No, you don't.
The one you choose has to be the one and only.
Oh, fuck.
And myself and the tarpers will decide if it was up to scratch.
Okay.
So this is a practice one.
Okay.
A fortnight is called a fortnight because it's 14 nights.
Did we not discuss days of the week times?
So we don't want day week ones anymore?
Do you know when midday is?
What's afternoon for?
I've got about five that I've got to cross off now.
Fortnite.
Okay.
I'm glad.
That's a pretty good fact.
All jokes aside, like we obviously are a team here
and we win and lose together.
It doesn't fucking feel right. And I'm glad that we've got that one out of the way That's a pretty good fact. All jokes aside, like, we obviously are a team here and we win and lose together.
Doesn't fucking feel right. And I'm glad that we've got that one out of the way
before we get to the one.
Okay.
I mean, we've got to fill this Friday one way or another.
We might as well use this.
Otherwise it's get frappe Friday.
It's just us ordering frappes for half an hour.
And as everyone now knows, that gets pretty old pretty quick.
Okay.
Maybe people are loving this.
Who's to say?
Who's to say?
Okay.
Do I get another practice one or is this the one?
Yeah, last practice.
Okay.
You flapped.
You stressed.
Yeah, because I really want to lock in the right one.
I've got three that I think are all pretty good.
Okay.
the right one.
I've got three that I think are all pretty good.
Okay.
Every sea in the term Pacific Ocean is pronounced differently.
Especially when I say it.
Pacific Ocean.
And it's also funny because it is a sea.
Ah, that is good. Especially because it's in the C.
Yes.
Yeah. You should do a whole segment on that.
Okay.
Can that be the one?
What are the different ways that C's go?
Pac?
So it's pacific ocean.
Fuck.
And it's the same letter.
Yes.
No wonder people find it hard to learn English.
To learn English.
That's fucking good fact. Oh, can that be the one that I like in? No. Yes. No wonder people find it hard to learn English. To learn English. That's fucked. Yeah. That's fucking good fact.
Oh, can that be the one that I look in?
No.
No.
Oh, my God.
I thought you would hate that.
Well, I love the Pacific Ocean.
I love oceans.
I love mispronouncing shit.
It's my favourite thing to do.
How could I not love that one?
Oh, fuck.
If Tony Felicia Lodge can blow our minds with this one fact,
Get Back Frappe Friday is in the mix.
If not, you will never leave this podcast
with any kind of educational value ever again.
You will not be able to get to work and go,
guess what I just learned?
Okay.
Okay.
Did you know the average person walks past 36 murderers in their life?
Really?
Yep.
How do they know that?
I guess it's like a law of averages and like figuring
out how many murderers per person or per area or whatever.
But if you live in a different area, that would change significantly.
Well, it says the average person.
Average like what?
In Australia?
In New York City?
In Outback Utah where there's no murderers?
What about Alaska? How do you know where there's no murderers? What about Alaska?
How do you know that there's no murderers there?
Have you ever met someone who's been killed in Utah?
Well, I haven't personally, but.
Well, no one has because they're all alive.
They might not have killed them there.
They might have killed elsewhere and then moved there.
What if you live in Antarctica and everyone's alive?
There's not that many people.
I don't understand this at all.
Was anyone murdered in this specific ocean for pronunciationing the C's wrong?
Is this the one you went with?
You fucked that on purpose.
You'd already decided you didn't want to like my fact.
I really want to like this fact.
You'd already decided you didn't want to like my fact
and I'm really upset now.
Do you know that because I'm, like, pro-murder?
What?
Like, why did you just assume that I would like something about murder?
No, I just thought it was an interesting fact.
How many murderers have you walked past in your lifetime now?
Well, I don't know, but the average person walks past 36.
So if you're, what, a third of the way through your life,
you've walked past 12?
Which is, like, pretty crazy.
We live in Richmond.
It's probably higher.
Well, but this is an average.
Do you know what an average is?
I think I'm struggling with the averages.
What do you mean?
So it's, like, based on the average number of like people
or murderers in like an area.
What are the other facts?
No, I'm actually really upset because you decided.
I did not.
No, you had already decided because as soon as I said it,
you went, oh, well, where the fuck is it?
I'm actually fucked off because you had already decided
you didn't like my fact.
Tell me, look me in the eye and tell me that you hadn't already decided
you were going to be a c**k about it.
Do we need to take a breath?
Do we need a frappe?
Actually.
Tell me that you hadn't already decided you were going to hate my fact
and that you were going to be a jerk about it.
I wanted to make, I was going to make you earn it,
but the fact would have determined if I liked it or not.
Okay, well, I've got one more.
Okay, great.
Okay.
Okay.
You know the atom?
Fuck science.
Okay.
But there are more possible combinations for a standard deck of cards
than there are atoms on the earth.
Say that again.
There are more possible combinations of a standard deck of cards,
as in the order that they could be shuffled into,
than there are atoms on the earth.
And an atom is what makes up everything.
So there's not that many atoms, even though we've got
all this different stuff.
Well, there's like billions of atoms, but the amount of combinations
that the cards could be in is more.
And hang on, how many atoms are there in the universe?
Between 10 to the power of 78 and 10 to the power of 82.
That's between 10 quadrillion vigintillion
and 100,000 quadrillion ventigillion atoms.
I tell you how I know you're getting into my area.
Can't say it.
Two reasons. A, Can't say it. Two reasons.
A, can't say it.
B, are you saying to me pick a card, any card?
No.
You know what?
I love card tricks.
You're in my area.
You know what?
I'm calling off Get Facts Friday.
No, I loved it.
No, I'm rescinding the offer.
I've got one more fact.
Okay, the pick a fact, any fact.
The number of silk threads on an ear of corn is the exact amount
of kernels on the corn.
So, you know when you peel the husk off a corn and there's all the strings?
Yeah.
The amount of strings is the amount of kernels that are on the corn.
Yeah, because there's a string from each kernel.
Yeah.
Last one.
Did you know that every C in Pacific Ocean is pronounced differently?
What?
But it's the same letter.
Okay.
Has this gone how you thought it would go?
No.
And what I'd like to say is that you know that nothing in this podcast is contrived or, like, planned.
Yeah.
Because I would have loved for that to have gone to plan and it didn't.
The frappe chat was better.
If there's one plan I can commit to,
it is the plan of getting frappes up this episode.
Okay, so get fact Fridays dead.
We're not doing it.
So, my love to see it yesterday was wrong.
And that's what I love to see today.
I love to see the preempted you love to see it's her out.
I'm upset by that.
So am I.
We do actually need a frappe.
I feel like we're off. Well, my love to see it, even though I'm absolutely heart that. So am I. We do actually need a frappe. I feel like we're off.
Well, my love to say it,
even though I'm absolutely heartbroken at this moment,
I'll try and pull it together.
My love to say it is that our brand new Prime Minister,
Anthony Albanese,
and the Prime Minister of Jacinda Ardern...
You have lost it.
Yeah.
What's her name?
New Zealand?
Yeah.
The PM of New Zealand, Jacinda Ardern,
who everyone knows and loves. She's a fucking absolute legend. Yeah. What's her name? New Zealand? Yeah. The PM of New Zealand, Jacinda Ardern, who everyone knows and loves.
She's a fucking absolute legend.
Yeah. They met this week and there was a photo that they both posted to Instagram of them like
swapping vinyls, like Australian and Kiwi vinyls because they both like used to be DJs
and stuff.
It is so fucking wholesome.
It's beautiful.
And he's got some real dad rock anthems going on, doesn't he?
Yeah.
He had like Midnight Oil. Spiderbait. Yeah. Other like Aussie bands. And he's got some real dad rock anthems going on, doesn't he? Yeah, he had like Midnight Oil.
Spider-Bait.
Yeah, other like Aussie bands.
And it was so fucking sweet.
And they both just had the biggest smiles on their face.
It was lovely.
Good on them.
You do love to see that.
You love to see that.
No one has brought those nations together more since Ryan and Bridget.
Yeah.
I've always said that.
Yeah, I've always heard you say that.
I've got a literal you love to see it,
which I'm going to have to post in the episode thread.
So I'm giving you a picture and it's a bunch of like polystyrene bowls.
But you know how you're a kid and maybe in US primary schools,
you get a bowl with like dividers?
Oh, like in jail.
Yeah, and so there's like the one with the mashed potato
and they look amazing.
So have a look at them and you'll see that they're all upside down
except for one or two.
Can you see the one or two that aren't upside down?
No.
Bottom left.
They all look like they're the right way up to me.
They're all the right way up because you can see the shadows.
Okay.
So when I looked at it and 98% of the world looks at it,
it looks upside down and then you see the ones that are up the right way
and then the rest of them suddenly appear to be up the right way.
Oh, they all look up the right way to me.
I can't tell. I can't see any of them that upside down.
Are you a 2% in the population genius?
They all look like, and this is not like you trying to fuck my fact.
I was going to say,
or is this the most out of sync podcast you've ever heard?
No, honestly, like I see them all the right way up.
And I actually, you know when, like, the green dress,
the red dress, blue dress or whatever?
It's one of those ones, yeah.
Yeah, and you can kind of, like, make yourself see both.
I genuinely cannot see them upside down.
So when I saw them upside down, that's all I could see.
And then when it flipped, I can't see it the other way.
I literally cannot see it the other way at all.
You're a genius, girl.
A genius who is just with her good friend, Ryan,
delivered one of the most disappointing podcasts.
Yep.
Who would have thought Kesha being fucked by a ghost
would have been the highlight of today?
Yeah, I really thought that...
That was filler.
Yeah.
And turned out that was better than the actual stuff.
Well, everyone will fucking have a joint you love to see,
and it will be that the fact is not coming back.
Thank you so much for those who supported me
through the fact-finding journey.
I really appreciate it.
But it's dead now.
And the fact...
And the fucked...
And the fucked fact...
The time.
And the fucked fact. The fucked fact.
The fucked fact is dead.
Long live the fucked fact.
In memorandum of the fucked fact.
Love you.
Bye.
Tomorrow, who fucking cares?
We're getting frat pays.
Oh, Jurassic Park.
Okay.
Watch Jurassic Park.
We're watching it tomorrow.
Love you, bye.
Hey, it's Brie from Brisbane,
and I would also like a frappé from
McDonald's.