Toni and Ryan - Pulling out is not an option
Episode Date: May 22, 2022Audio Queen vibes for a Monday and your feedback from the last week. Love ya! Toni xxx Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan o...n Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hey, is that Anna?
Yes, it is.
It's Tony and Ryan.
How are you doing?
Good.
How are you?
Yeah, we're well.
Well, Anna, we just wanted to see if you could approve today's podcast.
I, of course, will.
Yay!
That's my favorite. Aw, Anna, you're our favorite too. I don't really know you.
I don't want to lie.
Hey it's Anna from Michigan and I approve this podcast.
Welcome to Tony and Ryan, the podcast.
I'm Tony.
I'm Ryan.
Ryan.
Welcome.
Today.
We're on holidays.
We are on holidays.
We're in a different studio.
Yes.
Can I actually present a conspiracy theory?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, don't.
Is it going to be spooky?
Because I really want to watch something scary on TV tonight.
What, the election coverage?
No, the staircase.
Yeah, on Binge.
I saw the ad for that the other day.
Just literally saw one trailer and was like, I'm hooked.
Have you watched the actual,
because it's based on a documentary on Netflix.
Oh, no. Oh, my God.
So the original documentary on Netflix is fucking awesome.
And now there's like a Tony Collette and Colin Firth reenactment.
I can't fucking wait to watch it because the actual documentary is fucking wild.
All right.
Well, it's not as controversial as that and not as scary as that.
But here's my conspiracy theory.
Yes, lay it on me.
On Friday, we had a shareholders update.
Yes.
And you revealed, Tony, that you were leaving your job.
I quit my job. job was so exciting we revealed
that we would be looking for a new home for the podcast and that things were starting to change
oh remember and thank you everyone who supported us yeah an hour later
we discover that my workplace has decided that the studio would not be available to us.
You see what I'm saying here?
I don't think anyone at your work listens to this podcast.
Maybe we shouldn't flatter ourselves to the point where we're like,
oh, well, they were listening.
Obviously, they know.
That is true.
Okay.
I take back my conspiracy theory.
Coming up today, talking about nurses. Niece. And specifically. Niece, actually. That is true. Okay. I take back my conspiracy theory. Coming up today, talking about nurses.
Nieces.
And specifically...
Nieces, actually.
No, nurse.
Yep.
So, one nurse, many nieces.
Yep.
Let me add that to the list.
And also, 7-Eleven, because there's been a lot of controversy about 7-Eleven.
If you're in Australia, apparently 7-Eleven ads play for you before this podcast. Even places where 7-Eleven. If you're in Australia, apparently 7-Eleven ads play for you before this podcast.
Even places where 7-Eleven isn't, someone said,
oh, I hear them all the time and there isn't a 7-Eleven near me.
I live in Halls Gap.
Yeah, that's a fucking geolocation error and we will try and rectify that.
We'll get to that.
And if you're listening from not Australia, which is 99% of you,
I mean, strap in for a great story, I guess.
Let's hope it's good enough for people that don't know what 7-Eleven is.
But 7-Elevens exist all over the world, like as a convenience store.
Is it?
Yeah, it's a global.
Is it?
Yeah, they just don't get the ads from us.
You're not the face of 7-Eleven in New York.
That's a real shame for them.
For them.
Yeah.
And a real missed opportunity.
Is it?
But in New York, don't they have bodegas?
Yeah, that's the off-brand 7-Eleven.
Oh, but it's the same thing, like a convenience store?
I think so, yeah.
Anyway, it's not important.
All right.
First of all, we haven't done Audio Queen in a few weeks.
What's your day job, mate?
At the moment.
Yeah, I mean, I just quit, so maybe I'm going to lose my skills.
But sound engineer.
I cut stuff, make it sound schmicko make it sound great but try to
try to do your best um no you tony is actually quite good at it tony is actually quite good at
it thank you so much for that fuck you i'm trying to give you a compliment it is literally my career
i know that's what i'm saying tony's actually quite good at that thing that she does every day
no because and has for 10 years you and we can be like a bit condescending.
She's actually quite good at it.
Not condescending.
What's the word I'm looking for?
Self-deprecating.
Yeah.
And you go, oh, yeah, it's just my day job.
I try my best.
Ha-ha, there's not.
You are actually very good at it.
Tony's actually all right at that, I believe is what you said.
Remind me never to give you a compliment ever again.
I am a bit nervous, though, about Audio Queen today
because we're in a different place.
And today's producer, Scooter Derrick, showed up.
I don't want to smash up his beautiful room.
So Audio Queen, I'm going to have to just keep my wits about me.
I disagree.
Derrick, would you prefer Tony to get right into it and give it everything?
Yeah, he's nodding.
He's nodding.
He's pumped.
All right.
Well, I hope I don't smash up any of your expensive shit, Scooter Derek.
Okay.
Well, actually, this first one's interesting.
Okay.
Having sex in space.
Oh, well, there's no sound in space, so see you later.
In the rocket?
In the ship?
Oh, I don't know.
How about you let me read my story, mate?
Okay, sorry, mate.
Science.
Sorry for fucking.
Don't let the truth get in the way of a good story scientists this is
a true story though scientists are trying to work out how a couple might be able to have sex
when movement is tough because there's no gravity or low gravity and sometimes and apparently if you
like change position or go too hard it could send them flying across the space capsule because the
negative um you bump into each other and you go flying the other way.
Yeah.
And because people are spending longer in outer space,
you know, in maybe 100 years...
Who?
Oh, I thought you meant now.
I was like...
Oh, well, Branson and who's the other...
Bezos, they've been up there and stuff.
Eventually, people will stay overnight and for a week.
So, they're kind of going,
well, if people are going up there for years at a time
and they, you know...
Want to get sexy.
How does that actually work?
Male astronauts struggle to sustain an erection without gravity.
Really?
Physicist and astronomer John Mills with a PhD told BuzzFeed.
Pretty huge dick.
Male arousal would be challenging in space, though still technically possible.
Female astronaut.
This is pretty graphic, actually.
Vaginal wetness could be an issue as fluid like sweat and tears tend to pool at the location of secretion in the absence of gravity.
So when your tear doesn't stream down your face, it just sits in the one spot.
So you can do the math for the rest.
So NASA has started testing about how they can do the deed in outer space.
I never thought about the impact of gravity or zero gravity on your bodily functions.
If only there was an audio queen who could give us an idea of what this kind of...
How am I going to...
So here's what you've got to keep in mind.
Okay.
He's struggling to sustain an erection without gravity.
Fucking hell.
Yep.
Fucking space.
She is struggling with vaginal wetness.
That deserved a bigger laugh because I said fucking hell
and then I said, ah, fucking space.
Put it in the show notes and remind me to laugh then.
All right.
Fuck you're on fire today, bud.
And they've also got people from NASA watching, taking notes.
This is what that would sound like.
All right.
Beep.
This is the...
Control room.
The control room buzzing.
Houston, it's Houston.
Beep.
All right, guys, we're going to take it from the top again.
Yep, male astronaut, if you could remove your pants, that would be great.
And female astronaut, if you could take your pants off as well,
that would be awesome.
All right, and we're going to take it from the top thank you so much guys oh i'm really struggling to keep an erection even though i'm so smart and i am an
astronaut not smart enough to get it out oh um oh um oh yeah that is it in oh no you floated Oh, yeah, that fit.
Is it in?
Oh, no, you floated away.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Come on.
Oh, the penis.
The penis is so.
All right, guys, we're going to have to take it on the track again.
All right, guys, we're going to have to take it on the track again.
Imagine, though, that you're trying to, yeah, like, get it on and they're, like, bumping away from you.
There was, like, a high school saying about people,
like, guys who finish too early.
It's like, one pump Peter.
Oh, one pump Peter.
But imagine he does one pump and pumps her across the room
and she just floats away into outer space.
Yeah, like Apollo 13, Apollo 69. Tom Hank that. pump and pumps her across the room and she just floats away into outer space yeah like apollo 13
apollo 69 tom hank that um all right next story now this is a different different one i hope so
i am just going to give you a part of the headline and you're just going to assume
what the story is and then after we've heard the audio queen, I'll then tell you what the story is. Okay, nice. The mother of six said pulling out was never an option.
So what you're about to hear is the mother and the father
having the discussion about why pulling out was never an option
because, and to quote the mother, that's not who she is.
Pulling out isn't an option.
Mother of six.
Look, the thing is, sweetheart.
Yeah.
Yeah, right there.
Yeah.
The thing is, I just love it when you're biffing me.
Biff.
Biff.
And, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, no.
Like, we've got five kids.
Like, we cannot go. Marianne, we cannot go again. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, no. Like, we've got five kids. Like, we cannot go.
Marianne, we cannot go again.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, no.
I think just do it.
I think just do it.
No, I can't do it.
Yes, just do it.
Just do it.
Just do it.
Just do it.
No, I can't.
Oh.
Fast forward nine months.
Six babies.
That was unbelievable.
Ladies and gentlemen, the audio queen.
See, still good at it.
Tony is pretty good at this, actually.
Do you want me to read you the story?
Please.
How far off was I?
When I point to you, do that again.
Just a little bit of it.
Okay.
You might actually know this news story when I read it.
The construction company Metricon is currently at risk of a financial collapse
and customers who have entered contracts to build their dream houses
are unsure whether to pull out of the deal or to keep going.
So it wasn't actually about the husband biffing in the wife at all.
Jessica Snowden, mother of six, said pulling out was never an option
because they're continuing to build their dream house
and they're hoping construction doesn't get interrupted.
If you want to know what building your dream house sounds like
and construction not getting interrupted, it sounds like this.
Don't, I want you to be for me
so um i wasn't the only one who when i saw the headline on news.com.au that said mother of six
said pulling out wasn't an option i'm not mature enough to not go hang on a sec folks no so then i commented oh i just went oh the old pullout debate continues
i see i'm guessing we know where the mother of six stands on this issue
and i will describe the reactions as mixed i was gonna say were they positive or negative
there are a lot of people lean like well played i see what you did there and there are some other
people going like you know a family of eight are about to lose their house, right?
And when I heard that, I was like, yeah, but, like, funny joke for the eyes?
Yeah, well, I mean, six kids.
That's kind of what I said.
I came home and told Bridget and she goes,
they're about to lose their house, right?
And I was like, oh, so you're on their side.
All right. Okay, this is a fucking classic like, oh, so you're on their side. All right.
Okay, this is a fucking classic.
This is one of the great stories.
Okay.
Before we even get to the audio queeniness of it,
this is unreal.
A writer who wrote a book titled
How to Murder Your Husband
is currently on trial.
Have you seen this story?
Yeah, I saw it a few months ago
when it first started coming.
What a fucking idiot.
She's written a book called How to Murder Your Husband. She's currently on trial. Have you seen this story? Yeah, I saw it a few months ago when it first started coming. What a fucking idiot. She's written a book called How to Murder Your Husband.
She's currently on trial in Oregon for the murder of her husband.
Yep.
I mean, you've got to try before you buy.
She wasn't going to expect people to buy the book
if she hadn't gone through with it herself.
I expect sales to go through the roof.
Let me just read a few of the interesting notes
from the opening arguments from both sides of the lawyers.
The 71-year-old writer bought a gun off eBay
and a week later, her husband was shot with the same type of gun that she purchased.
How could it have possibly happened?
CCTV footage shows the 71-year-old writer parking out the front of his workplace
and walking into the building holding
the gun at the time of death and then 10 minutes later leaving the building she also checked about
and increased his life insurance the day before she did it she claims what a coincidence
it's all just one big coincidence uh this is what the 71-year-old writer,
who was originally from Texas, by the way,
this is what she said in court
as she was discussing the coincidences
and trying to say that they were, in fact, just coincidences.
Southern Texas.
What I don't understand is how you think I killed a man in ten minutes.
No man can get anything done in ten minutes.
Take him all day.
Though if I had to tell you the last thing my husband did for me took ten seconds,
no wonder I killed him.
He deserved
to die.
But I didn't
kill him.
Oh yeah, it wasn't me, but...
Hey, it's
Hannah from Michigan, and you're listening to Tony
and Ryan.
A massive thank you to a few of our champion tarpers.
If you listened to our shareholder update on Friday,
you would have heard that we set you the challenge of getting to 2,000 so that we could free up a bit more time,
get kicked out of the studio.
I was not part of the plan, but that's what happened.
We see that happening so soon.
But we did hit 2,000, and just a few of those people
that are part of our Champion Tarpers,
that will be getting a Frank Green water bottle.
And that's free, included in your Champion Tarper subscription.
Yes.
Aubrey Dancy, thank you so much.
Ryan Pukanski.
Excuse me.
Maybe not.
Please be careful.
Ryan Pukanski, after what happened last week.
Jennifer West, Danica Greave, Megs and Bacon, very funny.
That is funny.
Yep.
Chloe Dixon, Liam Luciano, Jaden Liu, and Millie Skinner.
Last week I called Millie Skinner Milky Skinner.
Her name is Millie Skinner.
Did she correct you in the DMs?
Yes, she did.
She messaged me and said, hey, I didn't know who you were talking about
then realised it must have been me.
So hang on, Millie Skinner.
Yeah, I said Milky Skinner.
Heard Milky Skinner and went, I wonder if that's me.
Yeah, yep.
And luckily she did because, yeah, she ended up being right.
Sorry about that, Milky.
Thanks, Milky Skinner.
Other people want nicknames, type of nicknames,
and, you know, Milky, you've got one.
And that's a great one.
Here we go.
Yeah.
Don't complain about having something that other people would die for.
Yeah.
Oh.
Shit.
You heard me.
Intense.
A bit of feedback from last week.
First of all, is Tony Lodge and Ryan John brother and sister?
After seeing the photo of Ryan's mum,
her and Tony look like a spitting image of each other.
So last week we talked about my mum being a cover girl.
Yeah, on the front of the, what,
the Nillumbik creating pamphlet that you get at the...
It's a little pamphlet with all the art classes
and there's a photo of my mum on the cover.
For, like, the council.
Yeah.
I mean, when you get older,
what a great thing to do with your time.
I just also...
Can you imagine how great that life is where you wake up
and you just like go down, chat with a few of the other local birds?
Yep.
You're doing some art.
Doing some art.
Having a cup of tea and a little nice biscuit.
Cup of tea, mate.
Are they having a wine?
Having a brandy or something?
Real nice.
A sherry?
It's okay.
And there's like one woman who always like makes a caramel slice or something.
It's a really nice community down there.
A caramel slice is elite, by the way.
Yeah, it's the best.
I fucking love a caramel slice.
That's my favourite of sweet slices.
We should go and get one.
We should.
Yeah.
All right.
Put that on the list.
A lot of people in the chat, once they saw the front of the pamphlet,
said there was a spitting image between you and my mum.
Do you see it?
Well, it was actually really sweet because people were like,
I thought this was just like a photo of Tony using one of those apps,
like the ageing apps, because your mum's wearing like these funky glasses.
She's got like a massive smile on her face.
I couldn't believe it.
And then I thought, is my mum actually alive?
In the form of Ryan's mum?
Yeah.
Isn't that beautiful?
Has anyone ever seen Tony's mum and my mum at the same place?
In the same place, yeah.
You know what I would give for someone to say there's a resemblance
between me and my mum?
No one's ever said that I look like my mum.
You know, people probably have and they were lying.
They actually have and they weren't lying.
They were just very much mistaken.
Me and mum would just look at each other and go,
oh, yeah, the same nose.
So I just spat all over.
But, yeah, it must be nice.
That's really – it was really nice.
But your mum does look – I'm more flattered because your mum looks
so happy and, like, so carefree.
I'm like, oh, do people think I'm happy and carefree?
Because they're fucking wrong.
I wish I was.
Mum was voting last week and you saw this.
Oh, yeah.
So the Australian election happened over the weekend.
Mum was voting and one of the candidates came and, like,
grabbed at her hand and obviously.
Liberal candidate, by the way.
Yeah.
And also liberal means the opposite thing in Australia.
Oh, yeah.
So, like, the right-wing people grabs at her hand,
which anyway is, like, not fine.
No.
But especially in COVID times, everyone's a bit like,
hey, don't just, like, go grabbing people.
And then he stuffed, like, how to vote for him card in her hand
and she was, like, real rattled and don't touch me.
So, mum reports him to the AEC and the AEC goes,
you're not the first lady who's come in today
and said exactly the same thing.
So this guy's just like grabbing at old ladies.
And it's not nice because like your mum would have been there alone as well.
Trying to do the right thing.
Just trying to go and fucking vote.
Like it's just fucking revolting.
And the fact that this has kind of turned into something like that,
as in being around the election time, people get heightened,
they're fucking excited, they want to, you know.
Yeah.
But it's just really shitty that that happened to your poor mum.
And, yeah, I would have been rattled too.
She was rattled.
And just like a bit, it sounds so weird to say like just surprised
and disappointed that like that's where we're at.
So anyway.
I'm glad that she reported it
because hopefully it stopped it from happening to other people i hope so and one of the people
from the labor party personally messaged me and said i hope the family's doing okay and blah blah
blah and stuff and you said well it's okay we're not blood related yeah so i'm just adopted so i
couldn't give a fuck well tony seriously though t Tony, you messaged and said, that sucks, how's your mum doing?
Yeah.
How did I reply?
I've got the message right here.
I was fucking shooketh to the core.
Because you read this and you said, what's happened to Ryan's mum
and you're very caring and you always ask how people are.
Well, yeah, and because I really like your mum,
we get along really well.
I said, is your mum okay, XX?
And you said, doing better than yours.
I couldn't believe that and then you send a photo we'll put this in the episode thread because it's so fucking funny then you send a photo of you with a shocked face going i can't believe i just
sent that and then i sent back this face like what the fuck like how dare you but yeah no very funny
great gear from you i walked out because i was already started work like because i start work at seven o'clock tobs was getting ready for work and i walked out and
i was like oh my god guess what just happened like to ryan's mom and he was like i saw ryan's story
and i was like look at what he just sent me back and he pissed himself laughing i was like i'm glad
that you're having a fucking good time having a great time we're having a great time uh phil the
district nurse that sent us a message uh he said uh dear whom it may concern nice i would like to make an official complaint oh now i didn't shake
anyone's hand forcibly i promise it was not me um i work as a district nurse and i listen to your
podcast every day as a bit of a stress reliever because as you can imagine uh a nurse i mean oh
my god what a stressful i could not do that job. Hats off.
Today I visited a nursing home to see some lovely old deers
and he takes them out to like do activities and stuff like that and whatnot.
So when he arrived, they were doing some gardening.
He goes, it was a sunny day.
They're in the rose garden, you know.
Yeah.
Bless their cotton socks.
So he pulls up in the car.
Hey, guys, how are you doing?
Picking up chicks.
He rolls up.
He's like, you got light he's want to
have a good time you know when you're like listening to the radio and you like switch it
over the podcast sometimes the volume's a bit different yeah so when he listens to us he needs
to like like crank it oh yeah um and so he had it cranked up and then he gets back in the car to
leave he turns the radio on and the first thing he hears,
and let me just read this.
Sure enough, the first thing to echo through what felt like the entire town
was Tony shrieking saying,
Oh, mate, get fucked.
Yep, on brand.
All the old ladies were mortified.
Then Phil said, I was so mortified.
I sped off so fast,
I can't even guarantee whether or not I hit one of the old biddies on the way here.
Oh, well, I might be crass, but I didn't hit an old woman with my car.
But he goes, I can't be sure.
I just needed to get out of there so fast.
Oh, my God.
Well, that's not my fault.
It is.
No, it's not.
Who do I put this forward to?
Maybe, what kind of car were you driving?
Maybe it's Honda's fault.
So I would just like to say to Tony, get fucked.
Oh, okay.
Well, you can't fight fire with fire.
Yeah, 7-Eleven.
7-Eleven.
So people are going off about it.
We recorded this ad like ages ago for 7-Eleven. 7-Eleven. So people are going off about it. We recorded this ad like ages ago for 7-Eleven
about their crispy chicken wrap or something.
Caesar chicken wrap.
Caesar chicken wrap.
And they are fucking good, by the way.
We have had one because, you know, we're true to the brand.
Well, there's a 7-Eleven across the road from where I work at Kiss.
And that's like my, oh, I don't have lunch, I'll duck at Cross Spot.
And it's so, like their sandwiches actually, this is not an ad,
but their sandwiches are actually fucking elite.
They're really good.
And yeah, so recently, and I don't know how long it's been playing for.
Long enough for people to start talking about it.
And they're like saying that every time they listen to these chicken ads,
they're fucking loving it.
And people are getting involved.
And I've seen a few comments about the 7-Eleven.
So Bridget was running late for work the other day. Yeah. She didn't have breakfast didn't have breakfast but she goes i'll get an up and go from the 7-eleven
around from work yeah and then she walks in and goes oh they're those ceaser raps that tony and
ryan have been banging on for fucking ever she's like even if it's for a lol i'm gonna have one
and i'll take a photo of myself and send it to ryan nice oh why didn't she send it to me our
group chat the three of us you know how how me and Bridget have a group chat?
Yeah, it's in there somewhere.
Okay.
So she gets to work and they're in a meeting and she like has a bite
and she's like, this is actually fucking great.
And to the point where-
We wouldn't advertise something we didn't believe in.
To the point where one of the people in the meeting who was talking about,
you know, here's the plan for the day.
Yeah.
Stopped talking and looked over at Bridge and said,
you're really actually fucking loving that, aren't you?
Stops the meeting and Bridge is like,
it's actually fucking really.
Oh, well, I'm glad that she's spreading the good word.
Hopefully they just all finished the meeting, went off and got some seats.
7-Eleven wraps.
Get around it.
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
Finally, for feedback, last week we were talking about
faking a sickie to have sexy times.
Did you see the comment from Lauren Miller?
No.
What did Lauren have to say?
Lauren, I quit my whole job because the nighttime activities
were getting in the way of my employment.
So she worked in hospitality and, you know,
sometimes you've got the late shift or whatever.
Oh, yeah.
And at night, like, it's pretty good from the guy.
So she's like, well, I can't be working at night
if I'm going to have to choose.
Oh, that is self-care on, like, another level.
Holy shit.
We've now been together for eight years.
Worth it then, I guess.
And Lauren's profile pic included not one, not two,
but three children from that guy.
Yeah, well, it sounds like she couldn't.
Pulling out was not an option.
For her either.
We finish every episode with things you love to see.
Tony, what have you loved to see?
So Torbs and I play this little game where if we're going out somewhere for dinner or
whatever, if he's looking at a menu, he'll be like, oh, yeah, fish and chips, what do
you reckon?
And I'll guess how much it is.
Oh, that's fun.
And I'm actually really good at it.
Really?
Yeah, like I often am quite close.
And how often do you get it right?
I'm like...
90%?
I'm pretty good normally.
Okay.
And Torbs worked from the office yesterday and I was like, oh,? I'm pretty good normally. Okay. And Torb's worked from the office yesterday
and I was like, oh, what did you have for lunch?
Because normally we cook lunch every day
when we're eating at home together.
And he was like, oh, I'm going to go out for lunch
with the guys at work.
And I was like, oh, where did you go?
What did you have?
And he goes, oh, I got a Chinese.
And I was like, oh, like in a food court.
You know how you take your plate along and do it.
And I was like, what did you have?
And he goes, oh, I got a can of Coke,
some fried rice and honey chicken with that sauce on the top.
I reckon $14.95 plus the Coke, $18.
Well, I was like, and he was like, what do you reckon?
And I was like, $16.
Yeah, okay, we're on the same wavelength.
And he said, bang on, $16.
Exactly $16.
You are good.
So that's why you love to see it.
I did a good job.
That is great.
We should have cross-checked our things you love to see.
Why?
Mine is also Tony and Torbs related.
Oh, sorry.
I can edit mine out.
Tony and Torbs dressed up looking excellent last week.
Thank you.
Taking elevator mirror selfies.
We did.
On a school night. Thursday, yep. I do love to see that. Thank you. Taking elevator mirror selfies. We did. On a school
night. Thursday, yep.
I do love to see that. Thank you. You're all dressed
up, you're looking schmicky, torbs rubs up.
Rubs up? Scrubs up, alright.
Both. Both of you.
What was the event?
We went and watched Harry Potter and the Cursed Child.
The opening night for the new
show, which was really
specky and fancy.
And how did you feel getting dressed up and being all fancy?
It was pretty fun, actually.
It was really nice.
And because, like, who does that stuff ever, let alone during the week?
I couldn't believe it.
And then we got home at fucking midnight.
We hadn't had dinner.
And I was like, I'm so hungry.
And I was like, but I'm so tired.
I've got to go to bed.
And then my alarm went off at 6.30 and I was like, never again.
Never again.
Well, you looked great.
And I was proud of you.
You looked good.
Oh, thank you.
And so did everyone in the comments on your Instagram, by the way.
It did go off.
It did.
But I actually text the photo that I posted to you.
And you didn't reply.
This is my reply.
Okay.
All right.
Live reply is pretty good.
Well, last week we talked hierarchy of communication.
Oh, you wanted to wait until we were in person to tell me how good I looked.
You looked, yeah, too beautiful to waste on a text.
This was an in-person compliment.
That's really sweet.
Yep, and that's my story.
And I'm sticking with it.
All right, tomorrow.
Things you can say at Bunnings and also in the bedroom.
What is Bunnings for people outside of Australian?
A big warehouse, like DIY shop. I think it's Lowe's in the bedroom. What is Bunnings for people outside of Australia? A big warehouse, like DIY shop.
I think it's Lowe's in the US maybe.
Oh, isn't Lowe's a clothing shop?
That's what it is here.
I don't know, but it's like a...
It's a massive hardware store.
Yeah, so they sell like wood and glue and plants.
But they've grown to the point where I would now argue
they sell fucking anything and everything.
Yeah, they sell white goods sometimes
now. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, things
you can say at Bunnings and also in the bedroom
and you've got something as well that
we need to talk about. Oh, fucking real
estate agents. Get fucked. Oh, okay.
Well, I wouldn't know, mate. I can't afford to buy
a house. Well, neither can I because of these fucking real
estate agents.
Love you. Bye.